A hostage! (Sable, open)

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu, Prince of Darkness, Drinker of the Sacred 'hoo, has initiated his most evil of plans! After mere moments of lying in wait, he has secured for himself a hostage! The unfortunate soul is a beautiful woman, a bit foreign looking, but in a sexy way. It's these kinds of damsels in distress that attract his opponents.

MUAHAHAHAHA! I HAVE KIDNAPPED A SEXY BABE! BEHOLD, FOR SHE IS VERY DAMSEL-IN-DISTRESS-ISH, AND REQUIRES RESCUE OF A BOLD AND FOOLISH HERO!

The tattered sheet that serves him as a cape flows pathetically in the breeze, and his pink inmate's uniform is blinding in the late evening sun. In his hand he holds a plastic knife, digging it into her neck. He believes it to be a vibroblade.

IF NO ONE DARES TO SAVE HER, I WEEL KEEL HER WITH MY MIGHTY VIBROBLADE! FEAR ME!

[Sable]

Quite startled, of course she is, (who expects such a thing as this to happen within their first few hours of arriving on a planet!) Sable gasps, blinking rapidly a few times as the rounded tip of his plastic knife is pressed against the side of her tender neck.

"Ow! Excuse me!" Clearly, she's not scared per se, more . . . annoyed. By the feel of the rounded weapon against her neck, she's already been able to determine that he can't really do much harm to her. Unlike some cultures, Diplomats of Arastonia are trained to fight with a variety of weapons; however, Sable has only been trained enough to allow her to escape from an attacker.

But, this man seems very crazy, so currently she makes no sudden moves. There's no telling how he would react.

[Darth Chicken]

"WHAT HO! TALLY HO CHAPS, CHOCKS AWAY! RIGHTO!" Screamed Darth Chicken, running around madly flapping his wings.

[Sable]

And all that Sable can do at this point is roll her eyes skywards and sigh . . .

"Why me? This has to be some form of hell, right? "

Lacing her fingers together loosely before her, she looks at the overgrown dinner that charges in, wielding a weapon she has never seen before.

"I'm doomed. This just confirms that I am being punished by the Wrath of the Gods; for what? I do not know."

A sidelong glance is given towards the one holding a plastic knife against the side of her neck.

"I think you're dinner has just arrived. How about lowering the weapon pressed to my neck and seeing what you can do about making sure that overstuffed chicken doesn't get away, hm?"

[Yuu-huu]

MUAHAHAHA! YOU ARE THICK OF SKULL, DAMSEL IN DISTRESS! THE CHICKEN IS NO MAN'S COMBO MEAL, FOR HE IS THE MIGHTY DARTH CHICKEN! HE WILL BASTE YOUR HUMAN PIECES IN SAUCE AND FRY THEM!

[Sable]

A few, short nods of her head as she looks upon the Chicken. Damsel in distress?! Is this creature nuts!? More like a damsel in some twisted form of hell brought upon by Sethanit, the Lord of Evil.

"I see. Well, in that case, if it's a human delicacy you're tastebuds are after, perhaps you'd allow me to escort you to a vast open buffet. There are many such beings where I hail from."

Yeah. The barbarians of Caladia would rip that chicken to shreds before he could so much as bawk.

"Sir?"

Sable addresses the one who holds her hostage . . . with a plastic knife, no less.

"Would you be so kind as to removing your weapon from my neck? It's becoming uncomfortable."

Hey, you never know. It could work. Who knows what simple requests might work upon the mentally instable.

[Wei Wu Wei]

Wei could not help but laugh. Sable--that poor girl-- was being harassed half to death by the two lunatics, and he knew he shouldn't have been laughing. But Yuu-huu's statements were too much for him to bear. And the large talking chicken was too much fun.

"You poor girl," Wei said at last after catching his breath. Wei walked over to where Yuu-huu was and gently removed the knife from Sable's throat.

"Now why would you hold this lady hostage? What is it that you would like in exchange?" Wei asked, trying to keep a straight face.

Wei remembered one time visiting a hospital for the mentally ill, and seeing Yuu-huu's face pressed against the glass window on his door.

[Sable]

Upon first glance at yet another new arrival, her first thoughts were something along the lines of:

'Oh cripes, not another one.'

Can't blame the girl, really. Within her first few hours on a planet far from home and she's been taken hostage by a nutcase and has been threatened to become a barbequed meal for an insane walking piece of poultry.

When Wei Wu Wei eases the knife from her throat, a small, yet grateful smile is given. Stepping away a few paces, she positions herself to be able to divide her attention equally while keeping the chicken in her periphereal vision.

[Captain Coruscant]

From a distance, a crouched figure watches. With a bright shield attached to a bracer on his arms, and donning a red, white and blue costume, he hardly blends into his surroundings – but then his no intention of doing so. When clothed as such Rick Wright, former Republic Forces Captain, is known only as Captain Coruscant and aims to stand out.

For now, however, it appears as that someone else is dealing with the situation at hand – and after all, the man in question (holding a woman hostage) does not seem to be an actual villain, but instead a man with a sadly deluded mind. None the less, Coruscant reminds on guard.

[FireKat]

Such discretion as Captain Coruscant's, however, is lost on the more brash. In a blur of red, Firekat pounces onto the scene, cutting off Darth Chicken's avenue of exit.

HAHAHAHAHA!!! jYou ssstupjid vjillajinsss neverrr learrrn. Fjirrrekat wjill have to teach jyou all a lesssssson!

Blue eyes looked down at the chicken, and Firekat smiled in an uncomfortable way.

[Yuu-huu]

The Dark Lord Yuu-huu takes Sable by the collar of her dress and shakes her viciously at Wei.

SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL DAMSEL, ATTRACTER OF HERO TYPES! I TAKE HER HOSTAGE SO THAT HEROES OF FOOLISH NATURES SHALL BE ATTRACTED HERE, SO THAT I, IN MY MIGHTY GLORY AND POWER, CAN BEAT THEM LIKE RED HEADED STEPCHILDREN AND HAVE THEM FEAR ME!

He has yet to notice Firekat or Captain Coruscant. Of course, if he had seen them, he probably wouldn't have behaved any differently.

[Sable]

(OOC: ROFLMAO)

***

Such confusion! Suddenly all of the loonies seem to be out and about and clearly there must be quite a few villages missing their idiots. Each village has those, you know.

"Ack!" She yelps, suddenly grabbed by the delicate collar of her gown. Shaken, her head rocks back and forth and from side to side a few times, leaving her feeling as if her brain has just gone a few rounds in a blender.

Blinking once the shaking ceases, she tries to regain clear focus in her eyes and looks as if she may hit the floor -- fainting dead away.

[Captain Coruscant]

The woman was looking faint – a sign that there was now real trouble afoot. Seeing this, Rick pushed off from his perch and landed down on the ground soundlessly. He quickly jogged forward, now a fully visible red, white and blue with stars, stripes and all. To the people of Coruscant he was becoming well known as the man who quelled crime and quashed danger. He was a man with a mission.

“Citizen, unhand that woman – else myself and my counterpart Firekat shall have to use force to take her from you.”

[Sable]

All Sable can make out is this blurred streak of red, white and blue coming close fast. Just an instinctive reaction as she brings her arm up, over and down into the elbow of the one holding her collar, in an attempt to force him to let go. If Captain Coruscant is close enough, her other hand would snap out quickly, hoping to land a blow directly into his nose.

You can't blame the woman for beginning to get spooked now; seems all the crazies were suddenly crawling out of the woodwork and here she finds herself saying "Please wake me up!" as if this were a bad dream.

[FireKat]

A low hiss sounded, rattling off in a growl.

What do jyou mean "mjyssself and mjy counterrrparrrt Fjirrrekat"?!?! jYou are Fjirrrekat'sss counterrrparrrt!!! Fjirrrekat wjill not have herrr thunderrr ssstolen!

[Sable]

Again, all Sable can do is faceplam and look skywards again, asking aloud:

"Why me!? What did I do to end up in this!?"

This has to be a dream, just has to be. Surely there is no way this is real. Is there?

[Wei Wu Wei]

"Whoa! Hold on!" Wei said after hearing Captain Coruscant's threat of Force. "We good guys should never directly use force to get what we want!"

Wei got between the Captain and Yuu-huu, not letting the him get near the insane man. "Talk to him. Surely he will give this lady over to us in exchange for what he wants. He wants a challenge, so give him one, but do not hurt him, by any means."

Wei turned around to face Yuu-huu. "Let her go, and I'll take you on." Wei was about to put his Grandpa's martial arts to its original purpose.

[Sable]

Oh yes, yes! This Wei Wu Wei was good. This has to work, it just has to. For now, all Sable can do is stand there and hope that this insanity comes to an end.

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu blinks stupidly.

SILLY EFFEMINATE MAN! YOU CANNOT HOPE TO DEFEAT ME!

The insane man flexes mightily in a display of mediocre strength.

[Sable]

Well. Perhaps this nightmare will just continue. She thinks back, wondering just what it was that she may have done or said to anger her Gods so much as to bring about this insane wrath upon her.

[Malice]

Behind the crazy bunch, a figure stood in the shadows watching the bunch. The presense he gave off clearly made him out to be a darksider. And a very bad one at that. But for some reason he just couldn't bring himself to interfere with this fascade.

Then it dawned on him. He was smiling. This whole ordeal was actually humor to him. Something that rarely ever happened. Malice just continued to stare and watch in disbelief.

*Now i wonder. How does a man like that ever manage to survive in this world*

Of course he was referring to Yuu-Huu. How could this fool think himself a danger to anyone. He probably couldn't even take on a kid if he tried. So naturally this woman was too much for him. Never the less, Malice decided to have some fun in this before the slaughter began.

Calmly the sith master walked out towards the group. Stopping right beside Yuu-Huu, just within his sight. Getting into the role of things, he went down to one knee and bowed his head to the ground. In a subservant voice he spoke.

*My dark lord Yuu-Huu. I have searched far and wide for you master. I have come to be your loyal servant*

Of course he was joking. But he just couldn't help it. It had been such a longtime since he had had any fun whatsoever in a fight,

[Sable]

A sense foreign to Sable begins at the base of her spine, sending a bone-shivering chill coursing upwards, then it radiates across her shoulders; causing them to shudder.

Silvery-blue eyes widen a bit while she watches yet another enter the scene. Noticing the way this new one kneels upon a bended knee and bows his head, addresses the insane one as 'My Dark Lord', Sable looks from Wei Wu Wei to Yuu-Huu and begins to wonder.

What if the short, unstable one is a dark God? What if, she's being sent into the Mists?! What if . . .

[Yuu-huu]

Malice is joking? Yuu-huu can't tell. He points dramatically at the heroes gathered before him.

GO! BATTLE FORTH AND KILL THEM!

[Malice]

Rising back to his feet, Malice grins maniaclly.

*As you wish Master*

Turning to face the so called heros, the sith now starts to walk towards them.

*You want him, you'll have to get through me*

Thrusting out a hand, he sent a force push to all three of them.

[Sable]

Holy toledo Batman! Sable has never before seen use of the force; in fact, she isn't aware of it's existance. An audible gasp is heard as a hand presses slender fingertips against her lower lip, looking on in shocked awe as Malice wields the force like some cheap child's toy from Toys R' Us. (Y'all know that the toys break so easily :p)

Ok, this was getting more bizarre by the minute so whilst the others are busy, Sable begins to look for an inconspicuous escape.

[Wei Wu Wei]

Wei switched his feet to a more stable stance and dug in, sliding back a few feet before finally falling under the force of the Sith Master's push.

"Well, now it seems we have no choice but to fight," he said to the caped crusaders.

Wei got to his feet And melted into the Force. He felt calm, relaxed. His body surged with a supernatural energy he had come to know through the technique of Force Boosting.

Yuu-huu was not a threat. It was the man who pretended to play the henchman who was a threat. Wei swallowed down his nervousness and bounced lightly on his toes and rolled his shoulders and neck.

"Let's dance."

[Sable]

Meanwhile ---

Sable Sonhali, with the attentions of the others now away from her, inches away slowly. If she can just get to the door . . .

[Yuu-huu]

No such luck! She is needed as insurance, in the unlikely event of Malice's defeat. Yuu-huu dives upon her ankles, clinging to them viciously.

[Sable]

"ACK!"

Sable's arms end up swirling in backwards circles as Yuu-Huu tackles her ankles, throwing the poor woman off balance. With an 'oomph' and a thud, Sable hits the floor, her head snapping back enough to cause a pain in her neck; making her face contort with the pain and groan.

Once she's able to sit up, she rubs the back of her neck with a slender hand and looks to Yuu-Huu.

"Do you mind!? Let go of me!"

[FireKat]

Originally posted by Wei Wu Wei
"Whoa! Hold on!" Wei said after hearing Captain Coruscant's threat of Force. "We good guys should never directly use force to get what we want!"

:lol HAHAHAHAAA!!!

Firekat pointed at Wei and nearly doubled over with a squealy belly laugh.

What a sssap! Whjy don't jyou go frrroljick and pjick flowerrrsss and leave the rrreal worrrk to Fjirrreka...OOMPH!!!

Suddenly, Firekat was bowled over by an invisible force, sending her sprawling across the ground. Blinking, she hopped to her feet, snarling angrily towards the bad guys.

Hejy! That'sss a cheap ssshot! Fjirrrekat wasssn't rrreadjy! That wasssn't verrrjy drrramatjic....wajit jyourrr turrrn!

[Captain Coruscant]

Knocked back too by the push, Rick managed to stay standing – driving his heels against the ground to resist the pushing force. He looked for a moment to Firekat and nodded, making a silent mental agreement that it was now time for them to beat the living dren out of those assembled.

Arming his shield and setting himself in to an offensive stance that would prepare him for hand-to-hand combat, Coruscant waited.

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu grins maniacally, brandishing his plastic knife at her threateningly from where he lies attached to her ankle.

MUAHAHA! I DO MIND, AND SO I SHALL STAY AS AN ATTACHMENT UPON YOUR LEGS! RESIST AND I SHALL POKE YOU MANY TIMES WITH THIS WEAPON OF POWER!

[Sable]

With a sigh and a roll of those silvery-pale blue eyes, Sable swipes her hand at Yuu-Huu's brandished weapon, snagging it from his hand.

(Or she's hoping to, unsure how to do this on the boards, please forgive)

"Being poked by dull, round-tipped, plastic objects is hardly a threat. However, should you continue to hold onto my legs, I may be forced to wield my power over your minions and turn them against you."

Her voice, though melodic, carries on the tone of a dignitary issuing a firm command or delivering a powerful speech to visiting dignitaries. Besides, Yuu-Huu wouldn't know if she really holds any power at all, so perhaps the threat alone will be enough.

[Malice]

Ignoring the two misfit heros, Malice turns to Yuu-Huu. Reaching under his cloak, he produces a dagger. It's handle inlaid with rubies and emralds, many who knew anything would know that this dagger represented a sacred tradition.

*My lord, it would probably be better to use this weapon. It is a sacraficial dagger........and it would seem like the perfect time to use it yes?*

Not waiting for an answer, he tossed it at his feet. Turning back to the three saviors Malice put his hands up infront of him, fists ready to strike.

*Come, i shall take on all three of you fools*

Malice stood in an attack stance. Not normal for those whom would wait for an attack. In which case he should of stood deffensive. But as always, overconfidence did usually get the best of him.

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu takes the dagger and throws it back at Malice. Does he think the Dark Lord to be so pathetic that he cannot defeat a simply hostage girl!?

FOOL! DO NOT WASTE THE SHINY DAGGER OF AGES UPON THIS HOSTAGE LADY!

[Sable]

The glint of light reflecting off of the real dagger that was being offered to Yuu Huu draws an audible gasp from the woman. In all of this comedic insanity, suddenly that made it more real and frightening.

Well, for Yuu Huu to throw that dagger back, he'd have to let go of her ankles with one hand. So, taking advantage of that, she draws her foot back and kicks hard towards Yuu Huu's face, hoping to land a sucker kick to his chin and send him reeling backwards with pain.

[Wei Wu Wei]

Wei grinned. Pride was a vice that Wei hated more than anything, because pride kept people from getting along, compromising, and working together. But this time, he appreciated pride.

Wei looked between Malice and Yuu-huu. Malice was a danger, but Yuu-huu was the one bothering Sable. If Sable could be freed, then things would be much easier for the Jedi Padawan. Wei jumped high into the air and landed near the lunatic, trying to pry him off of his hostage so she could escape.

[FireKat]

A pair of shiny red legs landed with a "whump" on top of Yuu-huu's shoulders. Two petite boots crossed, dangling at the madman's chest. Pressure at Yuu-huu's neck grew slowly, but inexorably.

"He-yeow!"

Smirking at her prey, Firekat sat perched atop the villain, applying vice-like force from her thighs as she sat atop him. Canting her head to the "amateur hero" Wei, Firekat looked down her nose at him, before tossing a prideful look to Captain Coruscant.

[Malice]

From behind, Firekat felt a squeezing sensation around her neck. Malice had gotten behind her, and placed her in a headlock. His bulky arms squeezing tightly as he dragged her off of Yuu-Huu.

All the while in the sith's mind Malice couldn't believe Yuu-Huu had thrown back the dagger. That was probably the only real weapon he had ever held. Poor fool, his death would be swift. But not before these foolish heros died.

[Wei Wu Wei]

Wei looked about himself at the knot of people that had gathered around Sable's leg. "Nothing good ever came from being tangled," he muttered to himself, and let go of Yuu-huu to drive his elbow into Malice's side.

[Sable]

With all the chaos and insanity going on around her, the distractions prove to be fruitful as she manages to twist her upperbody around and get her remaining ankle freed.

Quickly, she scuttles across the floor, under a table and gets back to her feet; smoothing her gown and whirling around to face the others.

Good Lord! This place is worse than any zoo! Everyone running around, delusional as if on gliterrstim and behaving like Malkavian Monkeys!

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu releases Sable to deal with Firekat, only to find her being dealt with by Malice, who in turn is being dealt with by Wei. And his sexy hostage has escaped! Intolerable! Yuu-huu squirts from between the carnage and comes charging at Sable as fast as he can, windmilling his arms and screaming a mighty war cry!

[Sable]

"AHHH!"

She screams, hiking up the hem of her skirts as she takes off running towards the door.

[Malice]

Through the force he sensed Wei coming at him. And at the last second, he shifted his position, so that Wei's elbow had hit firekat instead. Laughing, the sith glared at Wei.

*Well, i have never seen a jedi attack his own allies. Foolish child*

He continued to squeeze Firekats neck.

[Wei Wu Wei]

Wei shook his head. Gate open, gate shut. He knew that he had hit Firekat on accident, and hoped Firekay would not be swayed by the Sith's snide remarks. Wei would have continued dealing with Malice, but there were bigger fish to fry. Well, sort of. He still had to get Yuu-huu contained. The little guy was slippery.

"Come back here, you!" he called after the lunatic and ran started off in the direction Yuu-huu had gone.