Carry The World Interlude : Trying (Xazor)

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Trying"


Could you let down your hair
And be transparent for a while
Just a little while
See if your human after all
Honesty is a hard attribute to find
When we all want to seem like we've got it all figured out
I may be the first to say that I don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
And god I pretend like I do just
Trying to find my way
Trying to find my way the best that I know how

Well I haven't memorized all the cute things to say
But I'm working on it
Maybe I'll master this art for today
I'd I qoute all the line off the top of my head
And you'd be
I dont understand all of these things Ive read
Im just trying to find my way
Trying to find my way
Trying to find my way the best that I know how

Well I havent drawn it or figured out quite yet
But even if it takes my whole life
To get to where I need to be
And if I should fall to the bottom of the end
I'll be one step back to you
I'm trying to find my way
Trying to find my way
Oh, I'm trying to find my way
Trying to find my way

--

"Ouch!"

"Sit still you big galoot and let me put this bandage on... "

The man presently sitting on the chair, next to the window grinned at the now very heavily pregnant woman, before holding out his cut and bloodied right arm. "Dont be so damn rough cleaning it up. I swear, your were being nicer to some of those Vog'on we had to run through to escape"

"Well, if you weren't so... reckless! Honestly Marcus, what did you think you were doing charging their line like that? I thought you were going to die!"

"Not my time yet, Xazor" Marcus Elessar, Jedi Master, Warlord of the Lost Jedi replied, grinning. "You know that as well as I do"

Xazor Elessar, Jedi Knight of the Greater Jedi Order and his 2IC of the Lost Jedi paused. "That's not funny Marcus. It could have been"

He shrugged. "I just knew it wasn't. I might be blind, but I could tell it was neither the time nor place. Besides, worrying about when that time and place isnt going to buy one single second of time. As it is, I believe you'll live. You'll have a daughter"

"But I wont have you"

The note of sadness struck Marcus, making him turn his attention fully to the woman whom shared a Life Bond with - an accidental one, granted, but still one that existed and over the year they had it, had grown stronger. "Pardon?"

"No.. nothing" sh said, going back to cleaning off his arm.

"Go on... what's wrong?" he asked. "You've been quiet lately. Somethign on your mind?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor shook her head and continued cleaning Marcus's wound. Indeed, something rested heavily upon her heart -- and for some reason, she knew that he would discover it sooner or later.

"It's just that -- if something -- nevermind."

Marcus stopped her then, placing his left hand on her arm and holding her still for a moment.

"What is it Xaz'?"

He questioned seriously -- quietly as he had times before this. A saddened look overtook the woman and she sighed to herself before gently pulling her arm from the Jedi Master's grasp. Gently she continued cleaning his wound once again.

"If something happened to you, I would have no one. As it is, I never speak to my fath -- I never speak to Verse. Your the only one I can trust, it seems, I would just -- I'd die if I lost you."

The words were a bit strained as tears stung at the back of her eyelids. Sure she was more emotional at this time in her life, being that she was quite heavy with child -- but this was different -- these thoughts were always there in the back of her mind. It seemed to her that lately everything was so confusing and he was her rock -- her hero and savior.

"You've always been here for me -- I can't picture myself without you. I wouldn't be -- complete."

[Marcus Telcontar]

That drew a pause out of Marucs, then one, very, very sigh. He turned away, seeming to look into the darkness.

"Turn the lights off Xazor. I want to see with my eyes. I want to see you"

She did so and he took the protective contacts off, vision coming back as he did. Blinking, he surveyed the room, lit only by the starlight coming through the large viewport of the room. To him, this was all quite bright - to anyone else, it would be the depths of darkness. The room itself was surprisingly large and well appointed, resonably modern too. Looks like we hijacked a good ship, he joked to himself.

"That's better?" came the voice of the Knight from the other side of the room.

"Very much so. Come, sit with me. It's time we talked. I dont think, in our time of friendship, we really have done that. There never really seemed to be the need, because our thoughts are shared as they are. But.... I think we should. Not as friends, but as father and daughter. Come, sit with me and talk"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently as her sensitive eyes shifted and adjusted quickly to the darkness. Being Garou, her inner wolf gave her advantages that few others had, including night vision. Sitting down beside the Jedi Master, she leaned against him and rested her head upon his shoulder, taking comfort in his strong presence.

"It's times like these that I need -- Verse has never done this with me. He just gets mad at me -- we're so different from eachother. He used to be just like me, but then he became passive. Now he looks down upon my aggressive lifestyle as if he's ashamed of who I am."

She frowned and closed her eyes for a moment before sighing to herself.

"You know these things, though -- you can hear my thoughts. I hide nothing from you, most of the time. I just feel so alone sometimes, but then there's you -- you fill that void even with a smile."

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Hearing your thoughts is one thing... to see you act and also hear you speak is another. Brings me comfort in a difficult time. Eh, I am sorry that Verse thinks like that to you. Hey, did you know I got stranded on his home planet years ago? Him and his brother, Pivo I met. Aye, that was a peaceful time. I crash landed and had to be nursed back to health. The Garou tribe cared for me well"

He glanced at Xazor, a frown forming on his face.

"That was about 5 years ago I think, maybe more. I wonder if you were there. I dont remember a young woman that was like you there, but then again, I saw few of the Garou women. I saw a few young ones, not many. it was a beautiful place, I would like to have the chance to go back"

Edit :: TTT!!! Xaz! :D

[Xazor Elessar]

ooc: The timeline you set of five years doesn't fit my storyline but it's so hard to match them with everyone else. :\ It almost works though, so I'll go with it.

ic:

Xazor's heart ached as she thought of her home. Though she had just been there in the recent, she missed it already -- that and Verse. Sighing inwardly, the woman nodded and smiled.

"I don't remember you either -- and yes, you're right -- it's very beautiful there. Gaia provided a wonderful place for our people to dwell."

The Knight spoke in high esteem of the Godess she served wholeheartedly. Gaia was indeed a big part of a Garou's life and next to the Force, she was everything -- everyone's hope and outlook on the future.

"Perhaps we shall travel there together someday."

She said softly as a distant look swept over her features. "You should tell him about your visit there." The Force seemed to nudge her in that direction and she could not help but listen.

"I just went back there, actually. I'm sure you knew that, though. I -- I was dealing with a lot. Remember my run in with Severe? It had to do a lot with that. I resumed my old lifestyle for a while, Marcus -- and it seemed to be mostly because I was deeply depressed."

[Marcus Telcontar]

OOC : Eh, as long as it's within 15 years, it'll work. I'm time flexible :D


IC : "Ooooh yeah. Severe and that clown who seemed to be half Vong. So, you went back for a while? Pity you didnt tell me first, I'd have asked you to say hello to the Elders there. I'm sure they remember the human they scraped out of the ship wreck. Still.. I dont want to fill my mind with troubles in the last few days...."

Yeah right.

".. but... What are you going to call the baby?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor looked at Marcus with a curious expression for a moment. Her eyes squinted slightly shut and she seemed to be silently questioning the Jedi Master.

"Wait -- why are you letting that go? You mean to tell me that you're not going to give me some big lecture about how aweful I am that I did those drugs and all of those aweful things? You're not going to condemn me for it or -- hate me for it?"

She nearly laughed at herself and perhaps a bit at him for not even worrying. Looking down at the large bulge at her midsection, her thoughts shifted to the unborn that rested within her.

"It took me a long time to think of an appropriate name. I wanted to include Dasquian on this, so we talked about it and came up with something quite nice some time ago."

The Knight paused and grinned as she eyed Marcus, hoping that the choice of names did not hurt him -- but that he would think it beautiful as she did.

"Valanya Verse Belargic. Her first name means 'Saturday' in Dasquian's native tongue. Verse is -- well, you know who he is. And she shall take Dasquian's last name. I wanted to include you somehow, and also my Mother -- but if I were to do that, she would have a longer name than me!"

Xazor laughed to herself at her attempt at lightening the mood a bit. Indeed, it was a funny thing to think of -- not only how many names the Jedi Knight had but how many times she had changed all of those names. It brought a smile to both of their faces for a moment, at least.

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Eh, like I I'm goign to quibble over your drug habit you had or anythign else. Since when is love for a daughter conditional? You know I'm not like that"

He thought for a moment.

"Nice name for Valanya. I would have suggested Tivenuel , which mean Night Bird myself. In the tongue of Quenya, it is right to name a child after they are seen and you know somethig of them, so their name matched what they are. Elessar means Friend of the first born. And.... where does Dasquian come from? He speaks Quenya"