My Heart. (Marga)

[Rognan Dar]

A message had been sent out to the name of Marga Alton, saying to meet in the Garden. And that was where Rognan was waiting for her to come, so that he may be able to put his mind at ease.

Rognan was laying on the grass in the Garden, under a beautiful blue sky. The sun shown on his face, warming the air in the garden. He was hidden in a patch of ferns, waiting for Marga to arrive.

It had been a couple days since the night they had dinner, a night he couldn't get out of his head, more of what she said that nad been inbeded into his mind that he couldn't forget. Since that day all he thought about was her. Nights where he couldn't close his eye's without thinking of what she said.

The Garden of the GJO was Rognans favorite place, the only place where he felt comfortable. This, he desided, was the only place where he could tell what was going on inside his heart.

[Marga Alton]

Marga had recieved the message asking her to meet in the Garden. She has no problems going there and meeting Rognan. Since the dinner, she had kept to herself and hasn't done much, thinking that she may have ruined a perfectly good friendship with Rognan by saying what had been on her mind. Upon entering the Garden she glances around to see if she can spot anyone. Upon seeing no one, she finds a soft piece of ground to sit on which just happens to be close to Rognan, she sits down and waits.

[Rognan Dar]

There was no sound in the Garden untill Marga entered. He heard her as she walked through the grass untill she was quiet, most likely waiting for him.

Hello Marga, came a voice that was projected into Marga's mind, but it sounded like it was off in the distance, and not at all like Rognans. This would confuse Marga unless she so good at telepathy that she could pinpoint where it was being used.

[Marga Alton]

Marga looks up when she hears somebody say hello to her. Looking around and reaching out with the Force, she quickly pinpoints the spot where the message came from. Standing up, she silently walks over to the spot, which is surprisingly close to her and finds Rognan hiding in amongst the ferns.

Hello Rognan, and how are you today?

[Rognan Dar]

Well, I have been troubled to tell you the truth

Rognan sits up, his head poking out of the ferns, and stares off at two birds chasing eachother.

[Marga Alton]

Marga frowns slightly upon hearing that Rognan has been troubled lately.

If there is anything I can do to help, I'm more then willing to Rognan. And if I may ask, what has been troubling you?

[Rognan Dar]

There was a slight sense of tention in the way Rognan sat, and his words where all stuttered.

"Wwell...it hhhass to do with wwhat you said llast time we met, and ssince tthen I have been ssearching mmy heart, tto see iff I feel the ssame wwway."

[Marga Alton]

I'm sorry about making you feel uncomfortable. I understand. You don't want to be anything more then to be just friends. You aren't ready for a bigger commitment then just that. I never really have had much success when it comes to boys. They're always to afraid to be near me.

Marga is jumping in and just guessing what Rognan is wanting to say since she has never really had any success with boys after she's told them how she feels about them.

[Rognan Dar]

No. Its not like that at all. If I was going to say that I wouldn't have bothered to call you here and waste your time. But the way you say it...it almost seems like you dont want a relationship.

Rognan felt that it was easyer to communicate telepathicly, so thats what he did, though he wondered if Marga noticed.

[Marga Alton]

No, I do want a relationship. If I had no wish for a relationship, I would not have told you how I felt about you. It's just that I am so used to males tossing me aside as if I were nothing. That's all.

Marga makes a mental note of the fact that Rognan is using telepathy right now.

[Rognan Dar]

I dont know why anyone would do such a thing to you. I'm mean your pretty, your smart, and carring, who would ever want more?

Rognan forgot for a second why he was here, ranbling on only thinking of Marga's feelings, but it was his that this meeting was for. So he returned back to the origanel topic.

I have spent many a restless nights, searching my own heart, and there is only one thing that I dont understand......why me? What in my past 15 years has changed that all of a sudden someone likes me?

[Marga Alton]

It isn't hard to see why someone would like you Rognan. You're a kind, caring, helpful person who likes to do what he can to make new ppl here feel welcome. And that's only the beginning on why someone would like you.

[Rognan Dar]

But what has changed, thats what I dont understand. Is it just that my own people dont like me? Was it something I did?

Rognan was manly thinking his thoughts out load, not really expecting a answer.

[Marga Alton]

Ones own ppl can be the cruelest to them. They don't understand you, that's why they don't like you. Ppl understand you here. That makes all the difference in life. What's changed is your around ppl who understand you, at least partially.

Marga isn't to sure on what else to say so she just falls silent again.

[Rognan Dar]

Rognan stands, up feeling uncomfortable sitting, and starts to walk slowly in no aparent direction.

I have been alone for my intire life, and coming here has been the greatest thing. But I cant stop wanting to just be alone. I have got so use to it that its hard to move away from it

[Marga Alton]

Marga goes to walk beside Rognan.

When you are used to something, it is always difficult to change. And it is harder to keep the change that can happen to a person. If you wish us to just remain friends Rognan, I am willing. And I would understand.

[Rognan Dar]

You assume you know what I am thinking, but your are mistaken. I...do like you. After thinking about it, I have since the day we met. But...I dontk now if I am ready for a more sereous commitment. But I feel like we should be friends, but more then friends, but not in a sence of, like, dating. Are you understanding me?

[Marga Alton]

Marga nods her head slightly.

"I think so, though I wil admit, I'm not entirely sure what you mean."

[Rognan Dar]

Rognan sighed, this wasn't very easy for him to him to say, because he also didn't quite know what he was saying.

Uh, let me try and clear it up. It would be like...getting to know eachother better before, say, dating or just the next level in a relationship. So its not dating, and its not just friends, it something in the middle.

Rognan stops at a tree and leans his back on it, looking up into the tree.

[Marga Alton]

Marga nods her head.

I understand it now. We're more then friends, but not quite dating.

Marga inhales sharply for a moment. Slap. A hard slap is heard throughout the room. A girl, no more then 12 is the victim. 'You are to independent Marga. You will never amount to anything in your miserable excuse of a life. You're nothing, a nobody, somebody who doesn't even deserve the name Alton. You're a disgrace to the family girl. Now get out of here before I decide to make the other side of your face red as well.'

The girl, Marga, turns and runs from the room, runs from the house and runs into the woods, tears streaming down her face. "He doesn't understand me. Father will never understand me. He'll never understand how much I try to do what he wants, but that, never."

Marga collapses to her knees, sweating heavily all of a sudden.

[Rognan Dar]

Rognan stands strait as Marga goes to her knees. Was it something I said, he thought to himself. He then kneels next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder for comfort.

"Are you alright, Marga? Whats wrong?"

[Marga Alton]

Marga doesn't respond immediatly to Rognan. She just looks around, trying to get a grasp of where she is before she says anything. After a couple of moments, she responds.

I'm fine Rognan. And nothings wrong. What happened has happened in the past and it's nothing to worry about. I'm sorry about what happened.

Marga doesn't say anything more on the matter, but Rognan could probably tell that there is more to it then what she is saying.

[Rognan Dar]

There was a look of consern as he tried to get more information out of Marga.

"Dont tell me that nothings wrong. I've never seen you fall to the ground like that. Please, tell me whats going on."

In Rognans mind there was a kind of switch that turns his mind from himself and his needs, to someone elses. He was no longer nervous, or even thought about what they were talking about. All he cared about, for the moment, was helping Marga.

[Marga Alton]

Marga looks at Rognan for a moment, her mind debating on whether or not she should tell him what truly is happening.

Again, I'm sorry about this Rognan. As I have said, this has happened before. From time to time, I literally relive my memories as if I am truly there again. As if that memory is actually happening again.

Most of the time, I'm able to hide it, but when it's a particularly nasty one, then and only then, do ppl find out that somethings wrong. When that happens, after I come back to being myself here and now, it usually takes me a moment or two to figure out where I am. Though I will tell you right now, it's nothing to worry about. This has been happening for as long as I can remember.

[Rognan Dar]

"Doesn't sound right. How can you relive it? Sure there are memorizes that you can remember as if you were there, but to really be in that mental place again...

Has anyone tried to help you out on this?"

Rognan was starting to relax, but still was unsure about what she said.

[Marga Alton]

No, no one has tried to help me out with this before. My parents never cared about what happened to me. As for my reliving a memory. Deep down inside, I know it's not happening again, but when all your senses are telling you that it is happening again, you kinda believe that it is happening again. I truthfully do not know how to explain it. It is something that has been happening to me ever since I was a little kid.

And besides, not alot of ppl anymore know that this happens to me.

[Rognan Dar]

Well, is there anything I can do to help?

[Marga Alton]

I do not know if there is anything to can help with this. I guess, just understand that it's normal for me. I've lived with it my whole life, as far back as I can remember. I wouldn't be surprised if other ppl had to deal with this as well.

[Rognan Dar]

Rognan helped Marga top her feet, the stood back a bit.

"So...um...you want to have dinner again?"

[Marga Alton]

Marga smiles at Rognan as he helps her back to her feet.

"Dinner sounds like a splendid idea."