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View Full Version : A WTF I've been waiting years for...



Sejah Haversh
Mar 18th, 2003, 08:18:56 PM
http://news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,6145908%255E13762,00.html

And, on that note, I'd love to sing this lovely song by Schel Silverstein:

<u>Killed by a Coconut</u>

He just had a stress test, and he was fine
His cholesterol level was down to 209.
He saved up his money, retired to the tropic sea
There he was resting contentedly underneath a tall palm tree

When he was... killed by a coconut
Killed by a coconut
Just when things were lookin' up...
He happened to be lookin' down.

Yeah, he was... killed by a coconut (and you could be)
Killed by a coconut (that's why you never should be)
Sittin' underneath a coconut tree
When the coconut come down.

After five years of beggin' and pleadin'
She finally said yes.
They slipped into his apartment,
She slipped out of her dress.
He lit up some incense, and unplugged the phone
And was just about to enter the twilight zone

When he was... killed by a coconut (oh, what a feeling)
Killed by a coconut (it came through the ceiling)
The people upstairs were havin' a luau
And one fell through the floor.
And you'll be killed by a coconut (if you ain't protected)
Killed by a coconut (they come unexpected)
So never be lyin' in bed at night with the one that you adore.

He got the promotion, he felt great.
He took everybody in the office out to celebrate.
He ordered up pina coladas all around,
And they made a toast, he drank it down and made a gasping sound.

And he was... killed by a coconut (a great big cold one)
Killed by a coconut (he swallowed a whole one)
The young bartender was just out of school
And put the whole dang coconut in

He was... killed by a coconut (it ain't no joke)
You could be killed by a coconut (gasp and choke)
So never be drinkin' in a bar at night
Surrounded by all of your friends

He came back from Vietnam without even a scar (guy was a hero)
Started drivin' them demolition derby cars
He joined the police force
Survived a shoot out or two (uh oh, I think I see what's comin')
Now he was heathily joggin' down the avenue

When he was...
Killed by a pineapple (they were out of coconuts)
Killed by a pineapple (felt just like a coconut)
The A&P truck hit a telephone pole and fruit went flyin' everywhere
So, if there's plans you got (big, big plans you got)
Just make sure you're not just not (just make sure you're not)
Joggin' down the road on a sunny afternoon
'Cause coconuts are lurkin' out there

And you'll be...
Killed by a coconut (what a way to die now)
Killed by a coconut (everybody cry now)
Fate has a way of makin' you pay for all wrongs you do
And all the plans you got (all the plans you got)
Ain't gonna mean a lot (ain't gonna mean a lot)
When you meet up with the coconut
That's out there waitin' for you

Yeah, the plans you got - will not mean a lot
When you take a shot - that don't feel so hot
And ready or not, you come to the spot
Your coconut's waitin' for you.
(Somewhere there's a tropical fruit with your name on it)

ReaperFett
Mar 18th, 2003, 08:29:19 PM
"It was like they were cannon balls," Silveira said.
Or like they were heavy objects. Coconuts, maybe.

Jeez, what is the point of saying that? Was someone there reading it, going "Surely coconuts aren't that hard! It cant have been like much!"

"It was like they were cannon balls," Silveira said.
"Ooooooooooh, now all is clear"

:)

Admiral Lebron
Mar 18th, 2003, 09:07:25 PM
Sucks to be them.

Sorreessa Tarrineezi
Mar 18th, 2003, 09:57:02 PM
yep.....

Admiral Lebron
Mar 18th, 2003, 09:59:10 PM
I'm still trying to figure out which is more sad, the fact kids died from flying coconuts or the fact you've been waiting years for this.

Beldarine
Mar 18th, 2003, 11:53:39 PM
he he he..

coconuts.

Darth Viscera
Mar 19th, 2003, 05:12:39 AM
That must have been like detonating a gigantic claymore mine inside the bus.

Lann Kirauc
Mar 19th, 2003, 05:20:40 AM
What a weird way to go...





:: shakes his head ::

Janus Versa
Mar 19th, 2003, 07:37:17 AM
Ooh, more depressing stuff. :\

Beldarine
Mar 19th, 2003, 11:54:14 AM
Depressing?

o_O

I think it verges on the funny side...

Dasquian Belargic
Mar 19th, 2003, 11:57:14 AM
I have to agree. I know its sad and all, but

"Coconuts kill bus passengers" - how can that title not make you laugh?

:lol I just gives me such an entertaining mental image of these psychotic coconuts

;; senses smackdown around the corner ;;

Akuma
Mar 19th, 2003, 04:58:45 PM
Hehehehe funny....

Sanis Prent
Mar 19th, 2003, 05:20:54 PM
I'd love to be near the scene, and hear the coconuts ricocheting off heads. That would be morbidly fun.

I'm so torn on this issue.

Wei Wu Wei
Mar 19th, 2003, 05:35:44 PM
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, dee deedly dee...

Sejah Haversh
Mar 19th, 2003, 05:46:42 PM
I meant that I've known that song for years, but never thought it would actually happen. I know it's an awful thing, but.... I can't help it, it's funny.

Loki Ahmrah
Mar 19th, 2003, 06:09:19 PM
It's probably just me but I don't think I find anything that deals with real people dying funny, no matter what the circumstances. I'm not flaming or anything, I just have to wonder if had I died like that and people were laughing because of it, how would I or my relatives feel? Just not something I can laugh at, that's all.

Sanis Prent
Mar 19th, 2003, 06:37:59 PM
Hypothetically, what if you slipped on a banana peel, and your butt landed on a hedgehog, whose agonized shriek caused a chandelier to fall and land on your balls, and then something exploded.

Tragic? Yes!

Funny! YES!

Loki Ahmrah
Mar 19th, 2003, 06:48:12 PM
Perhaps I'm just not feeling in a morbidly humorous mood today. (Shrugs)

:\

Edit: Then again, in the afterlife I would probably end up laughing at myself for going so ridiculously and would hope that it would raise a few smiles amidst the tears at the funeral.

Sanis Prent
Mar 19th, 2003, 06:52:36 PM
If I was to die, I could only hope it was funneh. I mean...laughter is like the best eulogy you could get.

Admiral Lebron
Mar 19th, 2003, 07:37:52 PM
and then something exploded.

lol

Sorreessa Tarrineezi
Mar 19th, 2003, 10:12:34 PM
quote that comes to mind "I would rather die quietly in my sleep like my grandfather did, not like screaming like the others in the car." >D

Leeloo Mina
Mar 20th, 2003, 06:34:47 PM
I can't help it.. that's funny.. :lol I'm sick ^_^;