SwFans Survivor - Apply Within!!

[Lilaena De'Ville]

I'm sure most of you are familiar with the Reality TV phenomenon known as "Survivor." If you haven't watched it, you know someone who has.

Imagine, if you will, Survivor being played in the Swfans universe. This will be IC/OOC - you will play your character IC, yet it will have no effect on the RPing timeline or anything at all whatsoever.

We've got a wonderful host lined up for the island (;)) which will be on the humid jungle planet of Mykyr!

Please submit a "tape" to this thread, and if it takes longer than 5 minutes to read you will not be considered for the show.

Questions? Comments? Feel free to ask them, but I'm not sure whether you'll get answers or not. Please keep audition tapes free of smut, profanity and nudity.

(One note: in the game, no one will be allowed to post their thoughts. If you want to let the audience know what you think about something, you'll have to find a cameraman and make one of those aside comments.)

[Vega Van-Derveld]

I might as well go first :)

***

A camera wobbles about jerkily, steadying for a moment-

“Come on, you bloody idiot!” :mad

-before wheeling back downwards to the ground as a groan is heard. The video feed moves in an out of focus for a moment before panning backwards, taking in a person stood right in front of the camera man himself. First a pair of boots, then a long and suitably dark cloak, before a fanged grin comes into view. The person holding the camera prods at the lens, wiping it with a cloth before fixing intently on the cyan-eyed Lupine.

“… ahem… Manifesto for creating the Master Race, by Vega Van-Derveld.” >D

“… No sir, that’s not what we’re filming today. This is an application for one of those reality TV shows that are becoming so popular lately.”

“… Does it involve killing?”

“No, sir.”

“What about murder?”

“… I just said there is no killing.”

Vega frowned, “I mean, No, sir. No murder.”

“What about rape and pillage?”

“It’s er, meant to be for all ages, I think sir … I don’t really know that much about it though, to be honest. The letter just arrived at Fascinataru this morning. It’s ah, called ‘Survivor’, and they’re trying to recruit people from around the galaxies into ‘starring’ on it. I reckon it’ll be broadcasted right across known space.”

“I don’t pay you to ‘reckon’ things. Now come on, just film me… I’m sure people want to hear my voice and not yours. Heck, how could they turn me down for this? People will be clamouring for just another glimpse of this face,” the Lupine purred, stroking his chin thoughtfully. He tilted his head to the side somewhat.

“You are getting my best side, right? … Ha, who am I kidding! All of my sides are perfect!” :D

There was a quiet sigh, before the camera shuddered back downwards against, the blurred shot of a fist pummelling into the cameraman’s chest somewhat visible. A brief moment of confusion as the angle of the shot weaved back and forth, before a wet crunch resounded and the camera hit the floor – the shot of the man who had formerly held the apparatus with a sound microphone embedded in his forehead.

A clawed hand scooped up the camera, the lens thinly veiled with blood, as it turned back onto Vega, grinning even broader than before.

“Vote Vega.” :evil

FIN

[Sorreessa Tarrineezi]

*Camera clicks on and ears come into view*

?gThjink that's rrrjight, hmmm.?h

Face and chest blurs by as she stands up and sits on the couch.

?gUm, Sorrrrrreessa Tarrrrrjineezji, motherrr of fourrrr?cack!?h

*Sorr is getting poked by the elder of the two cubs with her. She winces a bit before trying to set the cub back down but can't due the fact that Kalia has a grip on her ear*

?gMeowch!?h

*Sorr wanders off camera while the sound of her mewls of pain are still heard as she tries to loosen the grip. Meanwhile the camera pans backward as it falls over.*

?gBee!?h

*Sorr's youngest son, Hiroaki's face come into view as he bats at the camera. He goes for a closer look and the only thing visible becomes the inside of his mouth as he inspects the camera as any baby would.*

*Crackle, bzztt!*

*Picture goes out, camera killed by baby drool*

FIN

[AmazonBabe]

:: A camera sits on a table, angled slightly upward, to capture AB sitting comfortably in her lounge chair in her room. One elbow is propped on the armrest, with a globe of Myrkr in her hand, while the other elbow rests on the other armrest. ::

:: AB smiles at the camera, pointing with her free hand to the globe. ::

Amazon...

:: Then she points to herself with the same finger, the smile turning into a grin. ::

...Babe.

:: The smile turns into a grin before the picture goes black. ::

FIN

[imported_Blade Ice]

The camera is pitch black then some glowing orange eyes appear on the screen nothing else is noticeable. Then an eerie voice that seems to come from the grave speaks.

"I was thought to be dead now I have risen again and as my first order of business I would like to be on your show Survivor. Why you ask yourself because it’s very simple I want to show the world my power as a true champion.

I will beat all my competition and I will be the one true Survivor of your show. Also I have gotten word the man Vega Van Derveld got your letter; he is one man I wish to face again."

The glowing orange eyes seem to be peering into the very souls that watch the video tape as a long silence hangs.

"The name is Blade Ice I hope to here from you soon and if I don't you better pray to your good that you will survive."

The camera blinks into snow and as the people rewind the tape to review it once more they realize there’s no tape in the VCR. All they here is insane laughter in there head and then one final word.

"Never forget the name Blade ice!"

[Zack Morrison]

“This thing working?”

The screen ‘snows’ faintly for a moment, broadcast lines running down the feed. A timer blinks to life in the upper corner and REC appears opposite in bold, brash, red. The scene is a dark apartment, terminals and wires crisscrossing across the walls and various posters and papers tacked to the durasheet walls.

Zack stalks in front of the camera, looking off screen for the moment before turning to you. “Zack Morrison,” He manages to speak before the camera cues off with a typhoon of curses and ranting following before the audio feed shuts down..

[Angelica Shin]

The camera clicks on to show a simple kitchen and a young woman with blackish brown hair, glasses that frame plain green eyes, and is wearing a tight dark green-black vinyl shirt and black leather pants.

"Okay, um, yeah, put me on your show I know how to sirive realllll good in the outdoors, and I'm a good leader too, lead my own noble house.....Oh crap, wrong thing to say, Wei doesn't know, but he doesn't watch much T.V., does he?"

She starts to chew her lower lips as she moves in front of the camera and blocks the lens with her *ahem* lower adominal area.

"How the heck do you turn this damn thing off?" is heard before the camera clicks off.

The camera then flicxks back on, a full close up of the young woman's face, grinning.

"Oh, I almost forgot! It's Angelica Shin-Wei!"

*camera goes dark as she drops it*

[Daiquiri Van-Derveld]

Cigarette smoke curls around her fingers before she lifts her hand, taking another drag. Exhaling, she tosses the butt down and grinds it out with the heel of her boot.

"Yeah, I know what most of the others think. 'For a Sith, Daiq is a goody-goody', but Im not! And Im here to prove it! Hey, just because I like kids doesnt mean Im weak! I like getting bloody the same as any Darksider! Hearing people scream, feeling their pain, making them beg......woah! It doesnt get any better than that!"

A wide grin remains spread across her lips as she recalls past and current events. The camera pans the length of her body coming to rest again on her smile and bright blue eyes.

"Right now my lover and I are in a battle with two Jedi Masters....one of 'em is an old guy and I dont think he'll last much longer. He was starting to wheeze and it wasnt pretty. The other one has glow-in-the-dark eyes....like he'll be hard to find at night!"

Leaning forward in her chair, she spreads her hands expressively, her eyes dancing with excitement.

"Anyway, my point is that the four of us agreed to put the fight 'on hold' so to speak. We all wanted the chance to audition and do the interview, let you get a good look at us. Everyone and I do mean everyone watches your show! Sith, Dark Jedi, Jedi.......I even heard the little green dwarf tunes in. Pretty wild, huh?"

Sliding from the stool, Daiquiri walks the cameraman and the interviewer to the door of the bar, giving the latter's rump a slap for good measure.

"Wha.....? Oh no!" *hearty chuckle* "I would slap a Jedi but never slap a Jedis' rear. Nah, thats not what started the battle. It was a walk in the park.........literally. My mate and I were walking through the park and there was a family of five sitting sitting under a tree with this huge picnic basket - it looked so good and.............no. Not the food, the family.....come on, stay with me, here. I unhooked my saber, like this, and walked up to them and............wait............wait!! Where are you going?!"

[Turcyn Rorke]

“Did you say prize?”

A voice pried a little ways from the camera’s view. Only a few seconds later a man slipped into the foreground, sporting a wide-spread grin on his otherwise rugged face.

“Alright, I’ll do it,” he added, edging his face a little closer to the camera before ruffling his hair up a little for show. “You ready?”

An assumed nod apparently came from the man behind the camera, as Turcyn suddenly snapped into character.

“Well, well, you didn’t think you could get away with a reality-based survival show without me do you? Let’s not kid ourselves; Turcyn Rorke, nature… they practically go hand-in-hand!”

What seemed to go on and on of consistent boasting, was finally ended by a ‘wrap-up’ cue given by the camera man.

“Look, not only do I have the adeq- adekate?” He paused for moment, his eyes squinting. “Oh, adequate! Yes, not only do I have the adequate skills of surviving in nature, I have the leadership to boot. How can you go wrong?”

[Dakota Gue]

"Hi!"

*hair toss*

"Im Dakota Gue. And I should be included because..well, Im gorgeous. I have intense survival skills (ever been to a Boxing Day sale?) AND I have my own bluilt-in floatation devices."

*secondary hair toss and strategic frontal lean*

"I would bring an element of commercialism to this whole enterprise (GNN will be all over this, trust me) plus you know..Im already tanned, so none of this visual horrors some of the other applicants might bring. It is, afterall, about the voyerism right?"

*flash of 6 thousand dollar smile (they're caps)*

"And Ive never been to Mynock...what?....oh..Mykyr."

*Peers into the camera*


"Did you get all that Belvedere?"


FIN

[Chaos Alexander]

::Static fills the screen as the tape comes on.::

"Hello, My name is Alexander. i think I would be good on Surviver because I am the classic 'I am a naughty good guy' I am a Garou, so I can survive with ease in the wild. I also get along with everybody. Like any good Jedi would. Unelss you are Sith. If you are Sith I wwill spend all my waking moments trying to hunt you down and rip out your spleen. Of course that is if you are an Evil Sith."

::The screen cuts to a local bar.::

"I also know when it is time to party. Everyone needs to cut loose sometime. Even if you don't know the peopel and could care less if they died. Being friendly is what makes for good shows. Also knowing when to lie.....I mean..uh..... change the truth slightly so that we all get along and Survive.....and...well... stuff."

::Screen cuts to a buissness office.::

"On the Side I write a book series called 'Survival for Dummies'. I run a Survial training class and sell books to help others less survival inclided as I am. Or as we say here at teh office 'Survial Handicapped."

::Screen cuts back to Alexander's room.::

"So as you can see, I am a perfect choice for the show. When you think Survial, just think Alexander Dawnstrider."

[Valirion Thorn]

:: Camera clicks on and focuses on a dark figure with two violet orbs glowing out of the shadows.::

errrr... I don't like sunlight, but I can survive, not to mention I can get rid of most opposition while they're sleeping... hehe...

:: Figure steps forward, blanch white skin lit by the lighting of the camera while the blood red silks I'm wearing shimmer slightly in my noble clothing.::

And of course I'm going to win this whole survivor bit, who else than the next God of Pain...

:: Camera falls over and yelling is heard from the side.::

You stupid food deprived, neglected, good for nothing, jedi ninny, slaves! Why can't you even hold a freakin' camera for one-

::End tape::

[James Prent]

[tape begins]

James is sitting in a small enclosed space. In fact, it looks a lot like...

"Hi, my name is James Prent, and I'm sending this tape in from the place I'm going to miss the most if I'm selected to be on Survivor. That's right. The refresher." She grins, and points to the right.

"Over there is my good friend, the sonic shower, and I'm sitting on what I like to call...the john. Its going to be hard to leave these guys behind, but I'm sure excited about the show Survivor, y'know?" She shrugs, and adds, "I'm five foot nothing, a hundred pounds, and although I don't look like much, I used to bounce people out of the diner I used to work at.

"You might call me a waitress, or a short order cook, but right now I'm hitting the books at the Jedi Academy, getting my education. The bad thing about that, is that the average ago of a Padawan in my level is...five." She winks, "I like 'em young, but not that young.

"Anyway! I intend to win that million credits. I am sweet, unassuming, but don't underestimate me, I was born and raised on Coruscant." The camera cuts with a last shot of her wrinkling her nose and laughing.

[Ryla Relvinian]

5

4

3

2

beep.... The camera fades in, focused on a large, plush burgundy couch. In the background, just slightly louder than the crackling of flames in the fireplace can be heard a snooty classical piece. On the couch, sits a refined woman, a black silk dress accenting her luminous blue skin. Her black hair is pulled up in a classy updo.

She takes a sip of red wine and flashes a beaming smile towards the camera. "Good evening, and welcome to Jedi Classic Theater. I'm your host, Ryla Relvinian. Tonight's program is a thrilling adaptation of the classic tragedy, Iphegenia On Coruscant. Of course, no retelling of this tale is complete without a ..."

*Sounds of boyish giggling*

She looks around nervously, but continues, "A....a nod to the classic director Noop Raptour, who so marvelouly pioneered the technique of..."

*more sounds of boyish gigling. A hairbrush flies across the camera.*

She ignores the disruption... "The technique of the famous edible camera, where the taste for art and the taste for a sugary snack were so brilliantly combined."

*Louder giggles. The camera drifts off slightly to the right.*

"That's it, boys. If you can't do the job with out seducing my hairstylist then I'm just goning to have to come over there myself..."

*The screen goes dark, but sounds of a lightsaber igniting and two sets of light elf-feet running, still giggling, can be heard.*

**We are experiencing some technical difficulties. Please stand by**

[imported_Ezra]

*tape opens with a view of the floor. Then it scans slowly up a pair of black cycle boots....tight black pants a criss crossing belt that goes around waist as well as thighs.... tight black shirt.... and then his smiling face.*

"You've seen the package....now to the pitch. I would make this Survivor show interesting because....*Smiles showing his fangs* I'd put a new meaning to the Title." *laughs*
"Hey, are there any caves or such? I'll need them in case we go to a place thats sunny...I burn easily you know.

*looks off to the right at someone in the back*

"No, there isnt a sunblocker strong enough knucklehead."

*goes to talk again then seems to be intrrupted*

"What?! Dont make me stand up! Wha?! Ok...Thats it !"

*He's a blur as he runs past the camera. It gets dropped and screen fades to black as lots of clanging and crashing is heard in the background*

[Lady Vader]

*The camera fades from a black to focus on a pair of intense green eyes. The camera remainds zoomed in on the individuals eyes, as the being begins to speak.*

My life is a story of survival. I live off of nature... I live for the adventure and experience... I live for the danger.

I am Lady Vader.

*Silence for the briefest of moments, the eyes shift to look to her right, before shifting back, a twinkle of a mischievous smile in them.*

Oh, and one more thing...

*The camera zooms out to reveal LV in her usual skin tight catsuit attire... but this time it's made to match the jungle.*

... I travel light.

*Fade to black.*

[Lann Kirauc]

Camera opens on a cue and large gentleman stands before the screen, grinning, then snaps, "I better bloody be chosen, now bugger off..."

Knuckles of a closed fist flashes on the screen and a few curses are heard off screen. Followed by dead silence and black nothingness.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Wow I dont' know about you, mystery host, but we've got some doozies to choose through. ;)

I have also invited the B.O. Forum to participate. These guys would be playing themselves....and I think that would just add to the fun. :D

Ok, back to viewing tapes. *pops the next one in, hoping for a cute guy*

[Evil Hobgoblin]

(Sharp notes from a brass instrument play. The screen fades in to a small hole panning across the screen, catching a figure of Pierce Tondry in a tuxedo. Abruptly, Pierce quick draws a weapon and fires at the screen. The black areas fade away to reveal a nice room.)

"Hello, Galaxy. I'm Pierce Tondry. I hear there's a little show on and my friends dared me to try out. Well, I'm a pretty adventurous guy."

(Pierce begins to take off the tuxedo jacket and dress shirt, continuing to talk.)

"I'm always up for a challenge. Very, very well trained. Skilled at lasting in long periods of intense physical activity. And I have very good aim."

(Pierce gets his jacket and dress shirt off, to reveal a tight-fitting tee-shirt in camoflague colors. He reaches off camera and picks up a rifle, which he then aims at the camera.)

"So, if you want someone who can really outfight, outwit, and outlast, then... what the-?"

(A small green blur swings in and snatches the rifle out of Pierce's hands with its feet. Pierce snatches at it.)

"Hey! HEY! Give that back, you little munchkin!"

(Pierce leaves the camera view and cackling is heard. There is a thud, a crash, the camera turns of its own accord. Hob is standing beside an overturned sofa, and Pierce is hanging from a ceiling fan by one leg, disoriented.)

"For the best, to Hob you come. Always much enjoyment and wisdom come from little green men."

(Pierce snatches at Hob, who dodges easily and cackles. He snatches again and misses, but catches the dwarf by the hood on the third try.)

"I'll teach you to mess with my tape!"

(Pierce throws Hob at the camera, and the audience gets a good close up at Hob's right eye before toppling over.)

"Ow! Hurt Hob, you have!"

"I'll do worse when I get my hands on you!"

"Hmf! It matters not. This tape is finished. Mail it I shall."

"Hey! Don't do that!"

"Your destiny that is not, fan-boy."

"He-!"

(Abruptly, the screen goes black.)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

OOh! Cute guy. ;) Hey did you see this one? *to an unknown shadowy figure only known as..."THE HOST" who takes the tape out and puts it in the pile of viewed tapes*

Hey! I wanted to see that again! Gimme that tape back!! :mad

:(

*puts in another tape*

[Tucta]

*Peace and quiet reign in the land, where atop a rock the camera sits blissfully.*

::rummble rummble rummble::

*Off in the distance a low rumble is heard with a forming dust cloud, but the birds still continue to sing in the regal setting.*

::thump thump thump::

*The ground begins to shake slightly, making the camera bounce on it's pedestal. The dust cloud grows and comes nearer.*

::THUMP THUMP THUMP ROOOAAAAAARRRR THUMP THUMP::

*The camera begins to shake violently, making the picture almost hard to see, but a discernable image appears. It is the cause of the shaking and the dust cloud. It comes closer... closer... closer... CLOSER... allofasuddenahugefacewithahugemouthapearsand...*

::RRROOOAAARRRRR GUUULLLLLPPP::

*Black out.*

NOTE: This video was fed via satelite to another location. So the tape you are viewing didn't come out of... well... you know... ;)

[Kar'h'tzen Shaed]

Kar'h'tzen Shaed carefully set the portable holocam on the cantina table. Stepping back, he surreptitiously planted a message to a passing bar patron to hit the record button. The light on the front of the device lit up, and the patron continued on without being aware that it'd done anything.

"My name is Karshen hed fytzen Shaed. Your Survivor show will undoubtedly bring a lot of prestige to its winner, and would in general be beneficial to the organization I represent the merest part of. Good public relations, and the like. More than that, it would be most beneficial to me."

He sipped from his drink, a Dark Logic as per norm.

"I excel at scheming, and survival in general. I believe I would be an ideal candidate for your holoprogram, adding a layer of complexity and cunning to it that mere Jedi, Sith, or non-Force sensitives would not be able to add. I fact I am here today is evidence of this. Please observe."

Another random passerby suddenly grabbed the holocam and pointed it at a couple of Bith in a booth across the room, their apparant joy and clothing indicating they had just been married. The male, full of marital bliss, suddenly realized he should slip some durocrete slug poison (which he luckily had in his coat pocket) into his bride's drink, and did so. The female suddenly realized she was dead, and keeled over. The holocam shifted back to its original position.

"Do decide quickly."

Shaed turned off the recorder with a slight nudge from the Force.

[Gibbon Meffoon]

*As the camera comes into focus, an old, burly balding man with a nose-ring comes into view, and he doesn't look happy.*

"Gah! You young folk and your competitions!" he barks in a gruff voice, his itchy wool sweater looking just as angry as he is, "Why, when I was your age, we did't have time for silly competitons like this! No, we had to work for a living! You've all got it so sofy with your little contest planets and mystery prizes. HA! Why, in my day, there were no prizes! If you wanted something, you'd kill a midget for it! And don't think that was easy, either, you punks! Midgets used to be ten feet tall and have tusks stickin' out of them all over the place, not like the little pushovers you've got now."

He takes a moment to sit up and look even grouchier. "Heh, you kids these days don't know what it is to survive on a hostile planet! I'll show you! So you better put me on this sugar-coated little joyride so I don't have to watch your pansy-rears makin' fools out of survival! Now shut that camera off before I have to rip one of my legs off an beat you with it! I've done it before, boy, don't think I won't do it again!"

*The video quickly shuts off*

[Dasquian Belargic]

On the set of the third instalment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, things are slowly winding down. After years of hard graft working on the final supplement, Return of the King, the cast are enjoying a well earned break – or at least, they should be.

In the partially dismantled set of Rivendell, at the venue of the Council of Elrond, a group of tall, slim and annoyingly attractive androgynous people sit about looking generally perfect. In the middle of the small circle one elf stands out from the others, as he floats about some Lembas bread simply with the power of his mind, much to the amusement of his elf-kin. He mimics the grins of those around him, before pulling out a metallic cylinder.

“So Marc-… Aragorn goes, ‘You have my sword’… and then I go BZOOM 'And you have my lightsaber, Mofo!'”

He strikes a pose with the tube and depresses a button on it, sending a lightsaber to life. All of the elves giggle with girlish glee at the sight of it, as he spins it with deft ease – somewhere off the distance, fan girls swoon.

The cameraman approaches, and the crowd of elves instantly assume snooty, aloof expressions. The blade wielding one hides the laser sword and folds his arms behind his back.

“Yes, my brethren, I must travel to Mordor and leave behind Mirkwood-…”

“Dasquian, it’s alright. I’m here from the TV show Survivor, about your video?”

“Survivor?” he sighs woefully, “How am I meant to do that? What with filming Lord of the Rings, acting as a Council Member for the Jedi and fawning over Xazor, I barely have any time on my hands… you do realise that I get paid nothing to do this Star Wars gig, right?”

The elves nod empathetically, whilst some mutter about whether or not Dasquian leaving will allow them to become the prettiest. The cameraman looks disheartened.

“Ok, ok… I have to say something to pick me, right? … Well, I’m good at tracking in the outdoors, and I can run for days… I’m a good improviser… and I suppose that’s all. :)”

[The Host]

*Steps out of convenient shadows behind De'Ville*

Yes indeed, Ms. De'Ville. We have several "doozies". And one rancor. I am not sure about that one. And I am concerned about the amount of tapes that have violent content.

I do not think there are enough of them, for one thing. But I assure you that will not influence my decisions. ...Too much.

[Kelt Simoson]

::The Camera fades in to a small room, a man stands there by a oven wearing a ploomed chefs hat and a big white apron. The Jedi Knight turned towards the camera pot in hand and gave a cheesey smile.::

' I am Kelt Simoson, Jedi Knight of the Greater Je....Aaron mind the...' Smash!!!. A loud crash hit the room and the camera fell to the capeted floor with a thud. Alot of muttering and quiet voices came from behind where the camera was facing before it was turned upright and faced back towards Kelt again. ' Sorry about that, my camera man Aaron Belargic seemed to have knocked my priceless vase over...' He looked down towards the broken shards with a side smile.

' Back to what i was saying, I'm err...Jedi Knight Kelt Simoson and i just LOVE cooking. Just look at my grilled salmon' The camara fans down towards the grill, a nicely booked grilled salmon lay there, tender and juicy. ' Im a great cook you see i think i would be a great asset to the group, i like to think I'm funny, kind, gentle and i love forests and woods and such as im a ranger. That being said where you shall be sending us is my ideal location where i can assist the group in my skill and element.' Kelt smiled and flipped the tea cloth over his arm like a waiter and closed the oven door with his foot.

Kelt was of course paying more attention the the camera and before he could look around kelt banged his head hard on the kitchen door as he attempted to walk out. A small nervous laugh is all he offered. kelt paced backwards into the living room as he talked to the camera Aaron held. ' Okay well i guess thats it, i hope you shall choose me and i look forward to meeting you all...' Kelt smiled and the camara faded off slowly with Kelt pointing to the his vase talking to whoever was holding the camera.

' That was my moms you know...bloody broken now ain't' it?'

[Azure Regalia]

A lone figure stands at the entrance to a sleek ship, a light eluminating from behind making it hard to see who the being is. One can only assume the camera is on a tripod somewhere on the ramp leading to the hatch.

A voice emits from the figure, confident with a no-nonsense tone.

I am known as the Bounty Hunter Azure Regalia. The art of bounty hunting requires one to have a quick wit, controled mind, and survival skills.

I have all of the above... and more.

But, there are two abilities which I am most fond of, one of which is the ability to morph into a reptile...

The being smiles, though the camera can not see it just yet.

...the other is the ability to camoflage to match my surroundings.

Suddenly, the light goes out behind her, and another is placed on her front side so that the camera can now see her features rather than her sillouette. The grin is still there.

Lets see if they can't keep up with me...

And then she vanishes, camoflaging.

...or find me.

The disembodied voice laughs as the picture and sound fade out slowly.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

To be honest the rancor worries me as well, Host. And the thought of a booked salmon is slightly...off putting. *she takes a moment to put on some lip gloss, and then looks through the pile of tapes and pulls out one again*

I really liked this one sniper dude. He was ...hot.:mischief

But I digress. *throws tape back on the pile* How about another? By the way, awesome logo. :D *puts another tape in*

[Alpha]

The screen flickers to life, revealing the impish grin of Satine Capashen, his silver hair and eyes glittering.

"Hi there, whoever is watching this. I've heard about this new show you're doing...Survivor, was it? I want in." His grin gets even wider, if possible. "I am very good at surviving...Used to get beaten a lot, and I still got through those. Hell, even died once, and am still here. I'm just saying, let me in...This is not a Jedi Mind Trick..."

Satine waves his hand suspiciously.

The screen goes blank.

[Zoro Kuina]

The screen flickers to life showing one of Corusants many artifical parks and a young man wearing what could only be a pirate-like style of clothing.

"You got that camera in both hands?" the young man spoke to the camera

"<font color=pink>Yes Zoro!</font>" came a female voice, most likely the camera operator.

"Good! Okay, for this Survior thingy you people are doing, <font size=1>Which hopefully involves winning lots of credits!</font> I will balance on a ball while balancing all three of my swords for a WHOLE minute!"

"<font color=pink>Uhh, Zoro I don't think this-</font>"

"You don't think! you hold the camera!"

The young man the walked towards the left, as the camera follows him shakely, to three swords stuck in the ground and a big stripey orange ball. He then takes the swords, two in each hand and the thrid's hilt gripped in his mouth, and stands on the ball. He then quickly shifts the two swords in his hands and balances them on a finger and wiggles the one in his mouth so he can balance it on his teeth. After wobbling for about 10 seconds he falls, the blades going down with him, the camera girl drops the camera (which only catches a shot of the man's leg and one blade) and footsteps can be heard.

"<font color=pink>Oh by the Force Zoro! That one almost hit you in the unmentionables!</font>"

Laughter can be heard before the camera is turned off.

[imported_Gerbo Lang]

The screen flicks on and you see the inside of a ship then a Dark skinned man with armor and many various weapons step in front of the screen.

"Hello and Welcome to my ship the Dark Hunter, I would love to give you a tour but more then likely one of you is a bloody Vampire."

Gerbo flashes his fangs and then points to them.

"You may think I'm a Vampire but in truth I'm a Dhampire. That means I'm half human half vampire. I would go through and tell you all about it but it would take to much time."

Gerbo then views around his ship for a moment

"I would like to be on your show Survivor and I want to rid it of any Vampires that make it as contestants. Unlike the average Vampire I have all of there strength yet none of there weaknesses. I can walk during the day as well as at night so remember if you have any vampire problems, who you are going to call, GERBO LANG!"

The screen turns to fuzz.

[Jackson DeWitt]

Camera switches on, and turns in a wobbly fashion to face the person carrying it.

"Hi, I'm Jackson DeWitt. I'm a survivor."

The camera swings around to show a large group of people, out in the wastes of Tattooine.

"From the left to right, thats Ma, thats Josephine, Danny, Kelly, Mike, Joe, Jimmy, Danielle, Jake, Shannon, Jenny, Teddy, and there's my Pa. That's the whole family. Man, I'll miss 'em. Wave, everybody!"

Everyone waves at the camera, which then turns back to Jackson.

"I figure being in a family of 14, and living on Tattooine makes me a shoe-in for being on Survivor. If you can do it here, you can do it anywhere."

Clip plays of Jackson working out. Doing sit-ups, push-ups, pull-ups, running, etc...all the the tune of "Gonna Fly Now"

da da dadada dadada dadada...da da dadada dadada dadada
dada dada dada dada...DAAA DAAA...da dada da da
DADA DAAAAA...DADA DAAAAAA
DADA DAAAAA...DADADADA DAAAAAA
DADADA...DA DADA...DADADA DA DADADA...DAAAA DAAAAA...DADADA...DADADA
DA DA DAAAAA....(Getting strong now!)
DA DA DAAAAA....(Working hard now!)
(Gonna fly!!!)
(FLY.....FLYYYYYY!!!!!!!)
DA DA DA

A 250 pound linebacker floors Jackson, sending him sprawling. Jackson gets up, only to get floored by another linebacker, from a different direction. This continues for five minutes.

[Epona Rhi]

Video opens to the girl siting on a chair in what appears to be a ship. She looks at someone who places the camcorder down.

"Is it on?? Yeah? Ok..*ahem* ...... Hi, Im Epona Rhi. Dark Jedi and bad as I wanna be. I was asked to do this to see if I could make it on the show."

She leans forward playing with chrome tube in her hand.

"Im excellent at this sort of stuff.....and ummm....Ahhhhh frell. Who am I kidding? Sorry....I don't play well with others."

She lifts her arm, pointing the end of the tube to the camera, and a pulse of Orange light erupts and a quick thrum as the screen changes to static.

[Jibrielle Abunai]

All can be seen is a blur of colors before the camera focuses, showing your typical stalker's room. Plastered all over the walls are various pictures of Hobgoblin -- Hob reading, Hob eating, Hob going to the ... well, nevermind. Lit white candles cover the whole place and in the middle, sits a girl. She holds what seems to be two poppet dolls, one resembling Hobgoblin and the other - herself.

"And now I bind thee to me, to cherish me ..."

While speaking, she's wrapping a red ribbon around the two dolls.

"And for anyone who stands in love's true path shall suddenly come down with necrotizing fasciitis .. little damned -"

"Uh, miss ? Can you direct your attention to the camera ?"

"Oh .. sorry."

Looking at the camera, she fakes a smile while hiding the dolls behind her back.

"I want to be in Survivor because, well .. Hobgoblin's in it. And I've got to be a good girl and show him that I'm better than the rest ... better than those wenches that flaunt and strut their stuff infront of him, miserable whores ... I'll show them."

Her right eyes twitches as the camera zooms out - obviously because the camera man has taken a step back.

"Why are you leaving me ? I know I'm not pretty, but .."

"Uhm ..."

"Don't go ! We still have to play a game !"

The camera suddenly turns around as the camera man runs, looking like the Blair Witch Project. Footsteps are heard behind him and then suddenly the camera's dropped into the floor. A hand picks it up and it's Jibrielle, who's face is now splattered with blood.

"So please ... vote for me."

[Telan Desaria]

*Camera fades in*

" Greetings, I am Telan Desaria, Grand Admiral of the Empire, Baron of Raenorian, Supreme Commander of the Military Forces of the Imperial Sover-"

*Interrupted by Camera Man*

" Um, Captain Tel, can you shorten your name abit? We have to fit in time for commercials."

*Blaster bolt heard. White armor seen in front of camera lens, then held very still*

" Thank you, Sergeant. Now where was I? Ah yes, that is who I am. Grand Admiral Desaria. Every show needs an Imperial, if for nothing but flavor. Think of the turmoil, the chaos! And plus, who else will keep those damned Jedi in line?

" So vote Desaria, or I will inform Intelligence that you are now expendable. End transmission."

* Camera still on*

" Idiot! What the &^*&% are you *^)(&(& doing??? You slept with which of my ^%^P) officers!!!!!????"

* Much chai grabbing. Screen goes quickly blank*

[Bette Davis]

The tape starts with a fade in from black, and it becomes apparent that someone is carrying the camera down a hallway.

A door swishes open, and the camera zooms in on a bed. The covers are rumpled, and at first you can't tell if there is someone in it or not. Then a hand reaches out from behind the camera and the covers are yanked back to reveal a sleeping man. He suddenly becomes awake, and rubs a hand through his tousled black hair.... his eyes open and swing around towards the camera...

"Bette!" He lurches forward, and the camera person skips away, chuckling. "Give me that! What are you doing? Its...why are you awake at this hour?!"

There is some scuffling, and it becomes apparent that the person with the camera is Bette, and she is tackled to the ground by the male, known as Val. Shrieks of laughter overcome her, and she manages to turn the camera in towards herself, and the man now trying to grab it away from her. "Hey, if I can survive a relationship with Sleeping Ugly here, you know I've got what it takes to survive a piddly island. Augh, Val! That hurt!"

The camera is dropped, thankfully facing away from the pair as Val is punched in the shoulder. Fade to black.

[Silus Xilarian]

The screen fades in from black and comes into focus on a random spot on the wall, showcasing the poor aim exhibited by Imperial Stormtroopers.

"Over here moron!"

The camera pans over and down focusing in on a man.

"My name is Silus Xilarian, Im 28 years old, and a Gemini *wink*.

I heard about this show and I got to thinking, 'Silus, you need to do this, I mean this is right up your alley. Setting up camp, making a secure perimeter, making everything self reliant, plus, theres gonna be females there, lightyears away from their boyfriends'.

So honestly, how could anyone in their right mind not vote for me....Its impossible."

Silus winks slightly toward the camera and smiles. He stands there for a few minutes with the cameraman/stormtrooper obviously missing the cue until Silus mutters under his breath..

"Turn it off........"

The camera cuts off and the screen fades to black.

[Jedieb]

Nothing to see here, move along....

[YubYubEb]

The screen flickers and an image of a pristine forest comes to life.

“I’m down here Teebo! I’m surrounded by imbeciles.”

The camera tilts downward to reveal a scruffy looking Ewok. His clothing is tattered and his fur is unkempt. There are visible bald patches. What fur he does have is black with white stripes.

“Hello my fellow Galactic simpletons. My name is YubYubEb. You may be asking yourself; “How the hell can an Ewok be speaking Basic?” Actually, the average Survivor viewer is incapable of stringing together a coherent sentence so my speaking Basic isn’t crossing many wires, but what the hell.

“Some years ago I was captured on Endor by some Imperials. I’d snuck away from the village to get high on some Endorian Mushrooms. I was taken off the moon to some hell hole of a research facility. While there these Imperial goons performed a series of ‘experiments.’ One of the results was I was given the ability to speak Basic, Huttese, and for some bizarre reason, Spanish. I don’t know what friggin’ far, far, away galaxy that language came from pero los idiotas Imperilista no me dieron una razon.

“Anyway, the other major side effect was my Endorian Mushroom habit became a full blown Death Stick and Spice addiction. I’ve got it so bad que si tengo, matare a cual qien persona que atreba a parar me de coinheindo drugas. After the Empire fell some Rebel do gooders freed me and a bunch of other scientific freaks. I proceeded to rob them blind and buy as many Death Sticks as I could get my hands on.

“Two months later I was arrested at a Twilek brothel on Ryloth. Don’t ask me who I did to get there or how I managed to land my way into a 3 way with a Rodian and a Twilek, but the arrest report says it all. I was assigned a public defender. Some idealistic Bothan, (I was as shocked as you are that there ARE idealistic Bothans), who insisted on defending me even after I held him hostage at spear point until I was given some spice. Man, that was the best trip I’d had in months. I was so high I thought I was riding a Bantha and making it with one of those Twileks. It turns out I was dry humping the leg of one the Gamorrean prison guards.

“The hostage taking didn’t help my case any. The PD did manage to get me a sweet sentencing recommendation. Basically, I’m either going to be a contestant on this insipid show or I’m going to be some Hutt’s sex toy for 3-5 years. Anyway, my name is YubYubEb, and I can’t wait to take part in the Galactic waste of time known as Survivor.

YubYubEb steps off out of camera. Without realizing the camera is still rolling;
“Are we done? WHERE’S MY FIX! I was promised something to tide me over. C’mon people, I’m seeing spots and I can barely hold my breakfast down. CARAJO, DEME EL SPICE!!!!!!!!!!”

Image fades to black.

[Zasz Grimm]

Zasz was sitting at his desk on his quarters in Bast Castle. There had been a representative come to Vjun to recruit for a new reality TV show called "Survivor Mykyr". Zasz had frowned first, but now was warming up to the idea. So he had him come up, he looked at the camera man. His hand was resting on his forehead, propping it up, his stark crimson red hair flooded downwards his face...

"Uh...were on..."

Zasz looked up... " Oh are we? And you are just now telling me this? Fool."

He looked up, pushing his hair back so that his crimson pupils are now visible. He stared directly at the camera, his presence itself capturing the image he wanted. He smiled as he stood up...

"Your representative said you have a reality game show going on, called Survivor Mykal..."

------"Uh it's Mykyr sir..."

" You said Mykal earlier! Anyway...I would like to make an entry to this show. See you there."

[Remy LeBeau]

The camera opens on a pimp bedroom setting panning bumpinly from left to right. It suddenly changes direction until it's lense facing a man's face.

":DHi.." said Remy with a big grin on his face. "..Dis is my pad..nice eh?....waaait dis isn't for de Bachalor reality show audition?!!" Extended the camera a leght of an arm away from him. "...Well Survivor was something I wanted to do. I mean being surrounded by dose wonderful ladies can be exciting;)." Winked at the camera as he shows off his abs of steel.

The camera fades out to black.

[Oddball]

The camera shows a man, wearing a red and black costume that stays close to his body. He is sitting, hands locked, looking straight at the viewer, his posture placing him slightly higher, causing him to look down.

"Oddball. The enigma? The loved? The respected? No. I am none of these. I am a Mercenary"

As he finished he leaned forward, getting closer to the camera.

"This isn't to say I'm a bad man. There are three reasons I do this. The pay is good, I get to see a lot of different scenery and they let me use guns and explosives. I'm looking for a girl about my height, dark hair, finds me funny, nice bod.........oh wait, wrong tape"

The man known as Oddball leans forward once more, the camera almost touching him.

"You want to pick me. Trust me, you'll enjoy every second. With any fame and wealth I get, I would use to fund needy causes"

Slowly the man leans back on his chair into a slouched position, thinking.

"Like the Oddball wants a girl foundation. Or the dark hair, similar height......oh yeah, I have to turn this thing off!"

Swinging forward, the man reaches behind the camera, and turns it off.

[Luke's Amputated Hand]

Camera comes into focus on a plain background.

:: PLOP... scitter shuffle shuffle ::

A bodyless hand jumps down from on top of the camera, presumably after turning it on and focusing it, and scitters into view of the lens. It stands there, "looking" at the camera.

...

Finally, the hand picks up a chop stick and begins tapping an ancient code known as Morse on the table.

I am a hand... with no body. I live... with no body. I get from point A to point B... with no body. I communicate... with no body. And somehow, I don't shrivel from gangreen.

Now THAT'S surviving.

The hand puts the chop stick down, takes a bow like only a hand can, and then scitters, jumping back on top of the camera.

Camera fades out.