Why d' th' f'n anim'l crack'rs not kill each oth'r?

[Johnny Carbonite]

Outside the Recruitment Center, an eerie, scary-looking man shuffled aimlessly about, eating out of a box of animal crackers. He would pause, make slurred philosophical references, and continue on. Those who lived under a rock might dismiss him as simply a loony, or a wino...but he was both! And MUCH MUCH MORE! Johnny Carbonite, famous across the galaxy for Death-tronic Jiz-wailing and corrupting of the young, had come to the Jedi Recruitment Center. Why, was anyone's best guess.

"Th f'n predat'rs..."

He dug around in the box, and paused, looking around in paranoia.

"Ah'm th' pr'dtr...RARR!"

He shook the contents of the box at his face. Some animal crackers went in his mouth. Most did not, and simply flew everywhere.

"A'm eat'n crack'r SOULSSS!"

[Sage Hazzard]

Sage crossed his arms, looking oddly at the man.

"May I help you?" One eyebrow arching as he said this.

[Johnny Carbonite]

"Soulsss....Ah'rrr"

Johnny exclaimed, mouth full of animal crackers. Bits of crumbs fell out as he did so, until he paused, looking at Sage.

"Ah'm th' f'n crack'r hunt'r. Y'got 'ny khaki shorties? N'vrmind."

He extended his hand to Sage.

"G'raff?"

In his hand, was a giraffe animal cracker.

"Wait-ah....y're one 'f ...the...y'kno...y'kno...SPSHH!...VRRR....VRRR...y 'kno, w' th' f'n wick'd glo-sticks!?!"

[Zeke]

Sage and Zeke are only two of four volunteers that work the recruitment center. And never have they met a guy like this. Zeke stands on the side, looking at Johnny Carbonite with the Sage's same expression. What's he mean, the ones with the (insert sound effects here) glo-sticks? He approaches and asks Sage in a low voice, so as not to offend Johnny: "Dude, do YOU know what he's sayin'?"

[Xazor Elessar]

"Jedi? Is that what you mean?"

A soft voice rang out from behind a large pillar as the Jedi Knight stepped forth and smiled. The glow of the Lightside seemed to envelope her aura as she bowed low and then rose to full height once again. Pushing back the long locks of her blond hair, she stepped forward once again and the silver coins woven into the Garou Warrior Braids clanged together softly until she stopped just a meter from Johnny and several feet in front of Sage and Zeke.

"Greetings -- I am Warrior Jedi Knight Xazor Elessar. I think perhaps my fellow Jedi are having a hard time understanding you, but I gather the fact that you are seeking us this day, yes?"

She questioned gently, canting her head to the side as her cyan eyes fixed themselves upon his face. He was a curious man and Xazor could not help but wonder why he was the way he was. It was not often that grown men played with animal crackers and babbled like toddlers.

[Johnny Carbonite]

"Yeh...y'kno...w' th' magic 'n f'n kung-fu whiz-bang!"

He spaced out for a moment, looking just past Xazor, at nothing in particular.

"Ah us'd t' lose m'keys. F'n hat'd it! 's like...'GNOMES! Stole m' f'n keys!' Nev'r see 'em! Pest Contr'l can't fumigate 'em! But Ah'm 'n touch with m' inner keys. Jus' gotta see 'em! Donny'll try t' borrow th' Firebat, 'n Ah'll KNOW! Not ev'n see'n 'em! Ah know! Ah'm all lok 'EH! Put m' f'n keys back, an' yo'r adopt'd anyway!'."

Johnny eyed Xazor a bit.

"Yer think'n bout 't!"

[Zeke]

"Magic and kung fu?"

Zeke thinks he gets the gist of it, despite the rambling.

"Y'mean the Force and martial arts? Izzat what you're here for?"

[Johnny Carbonite]

"'n D'ritos. Ah'm f'n fam'shed! Anim'l crack'rs taste lok crap!"

He lolled his tongue out of his mouth, and allowed a bit of half-chewed animal cracker to plop to the ground.

"B't yeh! Th'ts it. th' crouch'n...uh...not m'nkeys....crouch'n...BOLLOCKS! Ah'v got m' spirit...somth'n...f'n 'ell."

He suddenly whirled around, and looked at Xazor.

"Ah'm one w' m' keys....s' 'f yer think'n 'f steal'n...."

He paused...and smiled.

"Ah'm jus' fool'n. You 'ouldn't do th't. Ah know."

[Sage Hazzard]

"Is he saying he's one with his keys?" Sage whispered to Zeke.

"We don't have Doritos on hand I don't believe."

Sage smiled.

"Are you wanting to be a Jedi for more reasons than movies you've seen and pretty laser swords? Do you know what being a Jedi entails? You might have to cut back on the cursing..." though admittedly, he was only sure he was cursing half of the time. The other half was gibberish, like most of the things he said.

[Zeke]

"Um...that's the idea I got," Zeke says in return, sneaking his reply in as Sage begins his explanation.

He shoots a glance to Xaz.

"Um...any idea what he means when he sez you're gonna steal his keys?" This too, is spoken quietly. Of the three here, Xazor is the most oriented toward the mentalist skills. Surely she can make sense of him?

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently and nodded to Johnny.

"I won't steal your keys, I promise. Yes, we are the good bringers of the Universe -- the people using the lightsabers that make those interesting sounds you displayed."

She giggled to herself and eyed him curiously, still trying to piece together what he was meaning by keys. Keys as in -- knowledge? Perhaps he literally meant his keys, though, so she did not read to far into it. The Knight inched forward and set her eyes on his.

"You really want to be a Jedi -- but do you have any clue what this life is about?"

[Dasquian Belargic]

Seeing the large gathering of Jedi around one man, the Jedi Knight Dasquian Belargic approached. As he neared the group he heard the man speaking, and lofted a brow.

Did anyone think to check if he is inebriated? he said into the other lightsiders minds, as he folded his arms over his chest, watching Johnny.

[Xazor Elessar]

The voice of someone familiar entered Xazor's mind and she did not even turn around to know that it was Dasquian. Her heart skipped a beat as she waited for the man to answer the question she asked.

"I didn't want to be rude to him -- what if he has a mental disorder, Dasquian? All who come here have an equal chance of becomming a Jedi, it matters not if they are under the influence or otherwise."

She replied calmly in his mind, her gentle voice touching his spirit once again like in the past. Part of her held on for a moment before slowly letting go.

[Dasquian Belargic]

I ask only because perhaps it would be better to question him on such things as joining the Jedi when he is in a more fit state of mind, he replied in turn.

[James Prent]

James was walking through the building, on her way up to her rooms, and suddenly she saw... "Johnny Carbonite!?" Only the greatest rock and roll legend to come out of Coruscant in fifty years! She clapped her hand over her mouth as people turned to stare at her, and then she fumbled for a piece of paper.

She pushed past a few people (only realizing belatedly that they were all Jedi knights or above) and then hesitated. She grinned, and pushed the paper forward. "I don't have a pen with me, y'know, but can I have your autograph for my dad?" She looked to the side, saw Dasquian Belargic, and leaned his way. "Do you have a pen I could borrow?"

Johnny Carbonite!! Oh gods I'm standing next to Johnny Carbonite. Dad'll never believe this! His band had broken up a few years ago, and Carbonite had gone his separate way as well... singing lead for another band, and then taking his turn on one of the privately owned holonet channels... He was hot stuff again. And he was here! James was grinning like a ninny, hoping that he'd understand her request.

He'd done enough spice and other drugs to fry his brain completely, but once you got the hang of his speech pattern he could be intelligent. Or so she'd heard.

[Zeke]

Zeke pokes James.

"Y'know this guy?"

Zeke's been outta the loop on music and movies for years. He's got no clue what the big deal is.

[Sage Hazzard]

Sage is of like mind with Zeke. He mainly watches the holonews.

"Sir, can you try to speak more clearly. Perhaps you could take a break from your snack?"

Sage thought perhaps this simple request would do the trick.

Sage reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen, handing it to James deftly. He usual kept a writing utensil handy for copying notes from Sith witnesses. Making reports of sitings, etc.

[James Prent]

"Iron Weequay!" James took the pen and the piece of flimsy and again tried to get Mr. Carbonite to take it. "Only the greatest rock group to come out of Coruscant in the last fifty years!"

[Zeke]

"Say whaaaat?"

Zeke quirks a brow. Iron who? Rock what? Fifty?

"He's a Iron Rock or something?"

[Johnny Carbonite]

"'eh L'v. Ah'll do 'nyth'ng f'r a fan."

He worked with the pen, signing the flimsy in a careful manner.

Dear Dad,
Here's to you! Keep rocking, and fight the establishment! Your daughter is wicked cool, so thank her for keepin it real, man! Peace in the Outer Rim!

-Love,
Johnny Carbonite
Prince of Darkness


"'eh! 're y' go. 'E'll be t'ckl'd pink, eh?"

He looked at those gathered around him.

"S' y'se Jedi, eh? Ah'm a big fan, 'n all, yeh. Y' gotta b' y'kno, f'n wiz'rd 'n yeh...Ah'm 'ere t' join th' gang. Y'kno...c's Ah g't th' force 'n yeh...Ah f'gur'd th't idl' h'nds 'r th' dev'ls w'rkshop, an' th't ain't cool....ev'n 'f Ah'm th' f'n Prince o' Darkness, yeh."

He leaned in close, whispering conspiratorily.

"'s all 'n act, anyway, y'kno. Ah bite 'nto a st'cka beef j'rky on stage, bite m' lip, 'n alluva sudd'n, Ah'm f'n tear'n off K'wakeen m'nkey lizr'ds f'n heads 'ff! 's a sham, eh! But, Ah'll be b'ggred if th' kids don't l'v it."

He laughs a bit, putting an arm around Xazor.

"'n Ah'm f'n load'd...Ah'v g'ven 'nough t' char'ty 's Ah can, 'n Ah st'll got mo' to g've, b'sides cash, babe"

[Dasquian Belargic]

Dasquian cleared his throat. Loudly.

“Sir, becoming a Jedi is no easy task. Do you even understand what it is to be a Jedi?”

[James Prent]

James giggled and moved away, the piece of flimsy held securely. Was he asking to join the Order? Now that would be bizarre.