Lo Mein: Enter the Sub

[Shrin Safserim]

Shrin's stomach is growling. He places one hand to his stomach and squeezes lightly, as if trying to quell it's cries for food. Instead, it simply gurgles louder at him. He winces against the hunger and casts his eyes about. Some lo mein would be excellent...

"Sub shop?"

He's never been in a sub shop before. He's never eaten a sub, either. The selection is astonishing. Meatball sandwiches, melts, clubs, wheat or white bread, six inch or footlong sandwiches...all fully customizable. There is no line, so he steps up and orders. A BLT, with olives, vinegar and oil, wheat bread, foot long. He walks out with it wrapped in paper and begins to unwrap it while on the move. He must keep moving if he is to find a method of returning to his homeworld. His wooden sandals tap lightly on the cobblestone walk, drowned by the sound of the people in the street. Shrin brushes shoulders with someone walking in the same direction, fumbling his sandwich onto the sidewalk. The stranger tramples it on his way past, and Shrin's eyes narrow at the ruined sandwich. His stomach makes a low rumble of protest.

"Excuse me," he starts, catching up with the stranger, "But you have trampled my sandwich. I would like at the very least an apology."

[Laarseerro Reeaarrro]

“Sssandwjich?”

The large Cizerack fluttered his ears in confusion as he looked down at the small hyuu-mann. A quick sniff and he realised this ‘sandwich’ was lying squished on the floor, with a few measly strips of bacon sticking out from it. At the mere sight of the meat the felinoids tail begins to swish back and forth, before he reaches out a hand and snatches the morsel from the ground.

“jYum.”

[Shrin Safserim]

"Yes, sandwich," Shrin repeats, unsure what to make of the felinoid creature. "It was mine, until you stepped on it. I would like at the very least an apology."

He's not about to ask this...thing...to buy him a new sandwich. Shrin's not even sure it knows what a sandwich is.

[Laarseerro Reeaarrro]

Without a second thought, Laar scoffs down the sliver of bacon before flashing a broad, fanged smile down at the man.

“Laarrrsss ljike sssandwjich. Want more!”

[Shrin Safserim]

Shrin watches, mouth agape with a mix of astonishment, horror, and disgust. What manner of creature...

"I cannot afford to buy another sandwich. If you have money, you may buy one for yourself."

This...cat...thing...certainly is poorly behaved.

"What are you exactly?"

[Laarseerro Reeaarrro]

Visibly, the creature sagged with sadness.

“Don’t have monejy, Mjissstrrressssss hasss jit all.”

For a moment, Laars mourned for the sandwich he’d never have, before perking up again and realising he’d been asked a question.

“Sssserrrvant to Mjissstrrressssss, jI am. Good ssserrrvant,” he stated proudly.

[Shrin Safserim]

"Servant? Mistress? I do not fully understand."

He's probably the only person in the galaxy who has never encountered a Cizerack before.

"Explain..."

[Laarseerro Reeaarrro]

“Hrrrrm,” the Cizerack made a thoughtful sound.

“jI help mjy Mjissstrrressssss. Ssshe jisss a Cjizerrrack, like me,” Laar said, showing a smidgen of intelligence in forming the sentence.

[Shrin Safserim]

A Cji...ji..." Shrin finds he cannot mimic the accent. "A whatever you are...what can you tell me about your race?"

[Laarseerro Reeaarrro]

“Cat people, sssome hyuu-mans!” he replied proudly, his tail flicking back and forth as his mind was momentarily pulled back to the sandwich on the floor.

“Male Cjizerrrack all ssserrrve females.”

[Shrin Safserim]

Males serve females? This statement, in combination with the pride in Laarseerro's tone, does nothing more than confuse Shrin. Many men in society would rather die than find themselves subservient to any person, male or female.

"And...this does not trouble you? To be slave to another being?"

[Laarseerro Reeaarrro]

“jI get trrreats jif I’m a good ssserrrvant.”

It was probably clear by now that the one brain cell the Cizerack possessed was occupied with food, and sometimes mating, but never the politics of his society. Mate, feed, kill, repeat – that was the crux of it. Clearly, he was uninterested in talking about his rights and other such things, so crouched down and began to pick at the remains of the sandwich eagerly.

[Shrin Safserim]

"Treats? Your existence sounds like that of a pet. You are a sentient being, to treat you as an animal is wrong."

[Laarseerro Reeaarrro]

“Bacon bacon bacon bacon,” the Cizerack sang quietly to himself as he sniffed at the squashed bread, plucking out flakes of lettuce with his claws as he continued to search for some meat.

“Wherrre arrre jyou bacon?”

[Shrin Safserim]

"There is no bacon. You ate it all the first time."

Shrin scratches his head.

"Do you have any education?"

If the answer is no, it will certainly explain the creature's simple-mindedness.

[Laarseerro Reeaarrro]

“Edyucatjion? Isss that a tjype of drrresssjing for the bacon?”

[Shrin Safserim]

"No, education is learning. The alphabet and counting would be simple forms of education."

[Laarseerro Reeaarrro]

“We arrren’t allowed that, jI thjink,” Laar replied, wrinkling his nose in confusion.

[Shrin Safserim]

"You are not allowed to better yourself in your education?"

Shrin is taken aback.

"But they cannot deny you education. You have a right to learn what you will."

[Laarseerro Reeaarrro]

“Whjy learrrn? jI can kjill and eat, that’sss all that jI need!” he exclaimed emphatically, spreading his huge arms out as he stood up.

[Shrin Safserim]

As the Cizerack stands and flexes, Shrin comes to a quick realization: physically, Laarseerro is twice his size. Literally.

"An intelligent opponent will best you in a test of combat. You may find it someday difficult to hunt your prey."

[Laarseerro Reeaarrro]

Laar blinked, “I have bjig clawsss forrr hjittjing people wjith.”

[Shrin Safserim]

"But an intelligent being will find a way to avoid them. I doubt if many can match you in speed and power, so they will use their wits. And if you cannot cope, they will win. Surely you understand...?"

[Laarseerro Reeaarrro]

“… All hyuu-mans arrre small. jI am bjig.”

Laar pointed down at the sandwich,

“jI wjill sssqujish them, ljike the sssandwjich, and eat thejir bacon.” ^__^

[Shrin Safserim]

"That may be, but do not underestimate humans..."

Shrin's hand moves to his sword by habit. If this Cizerack decides to demonstrate his hunting prowess on him, then Shrin will have to draw.

[Laarseerro Reeaarrro]

Noticing the subtle slight-of-hand, Laar frowned. Was this hyuu-man hiding bacon from him? Did he have a secret stash of it in his pocket behind that rather pointy sword? The Cizerack was sure he could smell something amiss here. Not one to ask questions first, he pounced straight for the man and pawed at his body hungrily.

“Bacon!”

[Shrin Safserim]

Shrin sidesteps with ease, drawing the sword, sheathe and all, from his belt and rapping the Cizerack across the back with it.

"I have no bacon! You ate it all off the floor after you stepped on my lunch!"

Shrin's stomach gurgles loudly at the words "bacon" and "lunch". He squeezes his stomach again, trying to suppress the hunger.

[Laarseerro Reeaarrro]

Laar was torn between attacking again and whimpering. Favouring the latter, he looked back at the man with a big pout before shuffling away to find bacon elsewhere, with some nice people.

[Shrin Safserim]

Shrin tucks the sword into his belt. Odd. Very, very odd. After the big creature's statement of squashing humans, he was certain that his hasty defense would provoke a fight. His stomach pulls him from his thoughts with a loud, growling gurgle. He will look more into this felinoid race later. For now...some lo mein sounds good.