What if you could be a Superhero?

[Sanis Prent]

From Steven Lynch, the nursery rhyme artist from Hell...

If I could be a superhero
I would be...Awesome Man.
I'd fly around the world fighting crime
According to my awesome plan.
And if I saw criminals trying to lie
Hurting other people and making them cry
I'd haul them off to jail in my awesome van
Cause I would be Awesome Man.

Now, some criminals want you to be a criminal, and they offer you things like drugs and alcohol. But we know what to do, kids. We just say no!

If I could be a superhero
I would be...Drug-Free Boy.
Telling the world of the evils of drugs
And all of the lives they destroy.
Well I'd take all the junkies getting so high
With their needles and bongs and their sticks made of Thai
As I burn them alive, I would squeal with joy
Cause I would be Drug-Free Boy.

If I could be a superhero
I'd be Immigration Dude.
I'd send all the foreigners back to their homes
For eating up all of our food.
And taking our welfare and best jobs to boot
Like landscaping, dishwashing, picking our fruit
I'd pass alot of laws to get rid of their brood
Cause I'd be Immigration Dude.

Kids, you can make up your very own superhero! If you could, who would it be?

If I could be a superhero
Would you be...Justice Guy?
Making sure people get what they deserve
Especially women who lie!
Like if a wife left her husband with three kids and no job
To run off to Hawaii with some doctor named Bob
You could skin them and drain them of blood so they'd die...
....especially Bob...
Then you would be Justice Guy.
Or you could be more subtle, no...I didn't mean to be vague
Give her the mad cow disease, let him die of the plague
As long as they suffer for their terrible lie...
...especially Bob...
Then you would be Justice Guy.

Yes then you would be...
A superhero like me!

[Sorreessa Tarrineezi]

love Steven Lynch, he's funny as hell.....

[Sean Piett]

If I could be a superhero,
I think I'd START A POEM AND THEN GET ANGRY AT MY LACK OF POETIC SKILL AND HIT SUBMIT REPLY FULL OF ANGER

[Jamel Croko'yn]

Lol

[Sanis Prent]

If I could be a superhero
I would be...Captain Mod
Keeping the forums from falling apart
Resisting the urge to play God
Screw it! Delete all the spam posts and ban all the n00bs
Replace your avatars with pictures of boobs.
And if you don't like it, you can lick my cods
Cause I would be Captain Mod!

[Zeke]

YEAH! Rock on! :lol

[Sanis Prent]

If you could be a superhero
Would you be White Ninja-san?
Friendly and courteous to friend and foe.
Until you put your black mask on.
Then you hide in the shadows and fling throwing stars
Crash a Metallica concert and decapitate Lars
Who cares if they're guilty, kill everyone.
Then you'd be White Ninja-san.

(For Akrabbim)

[Zeke]

Cooool...Charley's good at this poetry stuff.

[Sanis Prent]

If I could be a superhero
I'd be Aussie Rally Jock.
Driving real fast in my turbocharged steed
Until I hit a giant rock
Split the gas tank and use the big fireball to fly
Buy domestic beer in the event I don't die
Its Kangaroo piss fermented in a crock.
Brewed for Aussie Rally Jock.

:D

[Sorreessa Tarrineezi]

here's a link to him for those who are curious.....I can't find any lyrics though....

http://www.whatarerecords.com/artist/stephen_lynch/discography.html


found a better link:

http://www.comedycentral.com/standup/central/detail.jhtml?p=/comedians/l/stephen_lynch.xml

[Zeke]

:lol These just get better!

[Sanis Prent]

If I could be a superhero
I'd be Canuck Tolkien Chick
Wear mithril flannel and enchanted earmuffs
And snowshoes with bootheels that click.
Oh I wouldn't have powers in Lord of the Rings
I'd say "eh" and "aboot" and I'd chown lots o things
I'd be as imposing as a maple stick.
Cause I'd be Canuck Tolkien Chick.

[Dae Jinn]

:rolleyes

and wtf is a maple stick? must be some yankee-ism ;)

[Sanis Prent]

A stick. From a maple tree. The thing that made the leaf on your flag. :)

[Dae Jinn]

Ah, I see. Don't know whether to laugh or not...bad night. *puts it in the maybe pile*

[Sanis Prent]

If I could be a superhero
I'd be Princess Man-sized Hands
I'd look so petite from my head to my feet
Until I let my right hook land
When I'm not being pretty, I'm bench-pressing cars
My best pickup line's "Let me open that jar."
I'm the hottest little ticket in Lumberjack Land
Cause I am Princess Man-sized Hands.

:Poke @ LD :D

[Zeke]

So wrong of you, but still hilarious...:lol

[Sorreessa Tarrineezi]

yep, found a few more songs but posted enough links for ya all.....

[Dark Lord Dyzm]

dang, I remember that song, heard it so long ago...

Loved it!

Also, Loved using Grandma as a Skateboard, by Corky and the Juice Pigs.

[ReaperFett]

I'd be like Daredevil, just have lost me sense of smell and have enhanced eyesight :)

[Jackie Dennegin]

There should be a superhero to represent all the underbugs.

Like 'Chigger Man'.

[Dasquian Belargic]

LOL

Nice poems :D

[Live Wire]

lol charley's on a roll

[Zasz Grimm]

:lol

[Loki Ahmrah]

"Best pick-up line's 'Let me open that jar'." :lol

[Dirjj Mordrai]

:lol

Please write up some more, Charley!

[Lady Vader]

:lol

And the insanity continues!

Great write-ups, Charley! :lol

[Zeke]

MORE! WRITE MORE!

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Originally posted by Loki Ahmrah
"Best pick-up line's 'Let me open that jar'." :lol

:mad

[Zeke]

:: pats :: We luv you, LD. :love for LD

[Lilaena De'Ville]

:grumble

[Sorreessa Tarrineezi]

why the grumble?

[Dirjj Mordrai]

LD is a sport! We all luvs her seriously! ;)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Do you mean that I'm a good sport about the teasing, or that making fun of me is a sport. Because I'm beginning to believe it's going to be added to the Olympics. :x

:)

[Dirjj Mordrai]

Originally posted by Lilaena De'Ville
Do you mean that I'm a good sport about the teasing, or that making fun of me is a sport. Because I'm beginning to believe it's going to be added to the Olympics. :x

:)

:lol Hey I want a gold medal!

J/j I meant the former kiddo! ;)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Sez YOU - and you've been MIA for MONTHS!

:cry

[Dirjj Mordrai]

MIA??? More like a leave of absence that extended longer than I wanted. But hey I am back and speak straight from the heart. All joking aside! ;)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

:mneh

[Gabran Darkysa]

:)