Humor him! It can't hurt.

[Yuu-huu]

The Prince of Darkness is at last basking in the glory and admiration worthy of his mighty self! He sits upon a fancy throne, wearing a crown bejeweled with shiny objects! He is magnificent to behold!...in his own mind, that is. Instead, he is wearing a cardboard crown with jewels drawn on it, and sits on a broken chair. There is a festival going on, where idiocy and foolery are celebrated for their comedic purposes. And there are none in all the universe more idiotic and foolish than Yuu-huu.

THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS GROWS BORED WITH YOUR MONKEY-LIKE ANTICS! ENTERTAIN ME!

[Darth Chicken]

A Chicken comes into the room.

"NUUUUUU!!! I AM THE MIGHTY DARTH CHICKEN!! BOW BEFORE MEEE AND GIVE ME SEED! I DEMAND SEED! ALL HAIL BEGARK!"

In his anger he does a CHICKEN DANCE to show his displeasure at lesser mrotals!

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu throws a heavy bottle, once filled with soda, at the chicken. It connects with a solid thunk, shattering over the back of his head.

YOU ARE A SILLY COMBO MEAL FROM KFC! YOU HOLD NO POWER!

The crowd laughs. Their king of comedic foolery is doing his job well. Yuu-huu gestures madly.

DANCE! DANCE MORE!

[Darth Chicken]

"BEGARK! YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR RIDICULE!!"

Darth Chicken runs up and hits Yuu-Huu over the head with his mighty war-club, the truly dangerous and deadly....

Rubber chicken.

It squeaks pathetically as well.

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu bites the rubber chicken on it's thirtieth swing and shakes his head in an attempt to wrestle the weapon from Darth Chicken.

I WILL BASTE YOU IN SAUCE AND SERVE YOUR PIECES TO THE MASSES!

[Darth Chicken]

Darth Chicken sqwarks as it's mighty club is bitten!

"NUUUUUUUU!!! YOU SHALL BE ROLLED IN 11 HERBS AND SPICES BEFORE I AM FINISHED WITH YOU! YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?"

He succeeds in taking back rubber chicken.

"NOW PHEAR MY SONIC BOOOOOOOM!"

He squeezes the rubber chicken, which squeaks pathetically again

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu stands to his full height...a towering, menacing, 4 feet and 7 inches! He stands in defiance of the sonic burst and gestures with one hand.

I WILL CRUSH YOU! BEHOLD...MY MIGHTY FORCE PULL!

A member of the crowd conspires to help Yuu-huu, and flings a lemon at the chicken lord! The Prince of Darkness doesn't see; he believes the projectile to be the result of his power.

THE 'HOO POWERS MY FORCE! YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF STOPPING MEE!

[Darth Chicken]

"SQUARK!"

The lemon hits Chicken on the head, who steps away and runs around squarking before calming itself

"THE HOO IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE POWERS I HAVE!! BEHOLD.... YOU SHALT FACE INCOMPARIBLE PAIN AND SUFFERING AT THE HANDS OF MY MIGHTLY SWORD!"

The sword is actually a feather. ANd Darth Chicken proceeds to tickel Yuu-huu with it.

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu laughs maniacally, from both the feather and his own delusions of grandeur. He feels no pain, it quite literally tickles. He thinks it's his immortality, and makes sure to tell Darth Chicken so.

YOUR SWORD IS A WORTHLESS INSTRUMENT OF TICKLING! IT FAILS TO INJURE ME!

[Darth Chicken]

Surprised his mighty sword (feather) is not working as he expected, he abcks off.

"I SUMMON TERRIBLE THINGS TO FALL FROM HEAVEN ON YOU!!!! CRUSH YOU AND SMITE YOU!!!"

A passing pidgeon poops on Yuu-huu's head in a remarkable co-incidence

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu is outraged. There is a nameless pigeon-substance upon his head! It smells! It's liquidy! It's ruining his hairdo!

YOU WILL PAY!

Yuu-huu tackles the chicken to the ground and begins to search him. He will find this man's wallet! He will pay the Prince of Darkness money for the temporary damage done to his rugged good looks!

[Darth Chicken]

The man finds Chicken's wallet..

"NNUUUUUU!!!! MY FORTUNE!"

It is chicken feed.

Outraged, Darth Chciken swings his mighty warclub (rubber chicken, which squeaks pathetically again) and screams "I WILL HEN PECK YOU TO DEATH!"

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu simply steps on him, pinning him as he thumbs through the wallet. A driver's license, pictures of eggs...a membership card to a place called "Hen House"...other than that, nothing. He studies the membership card (all the cute chicks do it all for YOU!) and takes it, throwing the wallet to Darth Chicken before running off, tattered sheet cape billowing behind him.

I HAVE STOLEN THE CARD THAT GRANTS ACCESS TO YOUR SECRET LAIR! I WILL TAKE IT OVER AND USE YOUR EVIL DEVICES FOR MY OWN ENDS!

[Darth Chicken]

"BEGARK!!!"

Insanely angry, Darth Chicken gets up and then flaps madly after Yuu-Huu

"RETURN CARD OF ACCESS! OR ELSE SUFFER THE HANDGRENADE!!!"

He throws the object, hitting Yuu-Huu in the back of the head!

it is a chicken nugget

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu trips as the nugget hits him and rolls, coming up to face Chicken.

YOU DARE TO KNOCK ME TO THE GROUND WITH A CRISPY NUGGET? SUFFER!

He flings himself at the chicken lord, swinging his arms in fury!

[Darth Chicken]

"BEGARK! PHEAR MY STENCH FIELD!"

He turns around and sh---- on the pavement, right in front of a charging Yuu-Huu!

"NOME SHALL PASS!"

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu slips on the chicken sh---, falling forward with a mighty headbutt into the back of the chicken lord! He stands and grabs the man's pants that are yet by his ankles and hauls on them.

YOU ARE PANTSED!

[Darth Chicken]

"BEGARK! LET GUUU OF FEATHERS! OR I WILL HEN PECK YUUUUU!!!"

Seeing silly man ins not letting go, Darth Chicken begins to peck at Yuu-Huu

"LIGHTBEAK ACTIVATE!"

Chciken begins to make a lightsabre humm, while swishing head around - much like a sabre. A stray neon light shines off the beak, making it glow.

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu releases the pants to avoid the "saber" and casts about for a weapon, any weapon...a child is holding a plastic toy lightsaber. Yuu-huu steals it from the boy and throws him in the mud.

FACE ME! AND DIIIIIEEE!

[Darth Chicken]

"PSYCHO CHICKEN ATTACK!!!"

Chicken rushes forward, madly beating its wings and runnign around, in circles! He hits a pole, cannons off into a stack of boxes, one which falls and hits Yuu Huu on the head.

"SEE!!! I AM MIGHTY IN THE FORCE!"

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu doesn't register the box's impact. He's too busy flourishing his "weapon" and being an egomaniacal supervillain to do so. Later when no one's looking, he'll freak out about it. But not now. He's being villainous.

YOUR MIGHT HAS NO MEANING! I STILL BEAR THE CARD OF ENTRANCE!

He beats the chicken man murderously with the plastic toy.

[Darth Chicken]

"AHA!! PARRY!! THRUST! STAB! HACK!! PHEAR MY IGHTSABRE SKILLZ!"

Chicken retrieves his rubber chicken and presses a button. The toy's eyes light up and Chicken begins to 'spar' using it

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu is simply flailing, there's no skill to be had. Luckily, it seems his opponent is the same. The two clash and lock, and Yuu-huu leans in past the crossed weapons and headbutts Chicken.

YOUR WEAPON CANNOT SAVE YOU! YOU WILL BE MY CHICKEN MINION AND WILL LIFT THE HEAVY OBJECTS THAT LIE ABOUT THE SECRET HEADQUARTERS!

[Darth Chicken]

"NEVER! YOU SHALL QUIVER IN PHEAR OF MY KICK TO THE BALLS!"

Chicken pulls out a hacky sack that jingles and kicks it at Yuu-Huu

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu guards his crotch by means of covering it with his hands and takes the ball in the chest. It jingles and falls upon the floor.

YOU HAVE THE AIM OF AN ELDERLY LADY! BEHOLD!

Still holding his nuts, Yuu-huu tips the bag into the air with his toes and fires it back at the Chicken Lord!

[Darth Chicken]

Chicken heads the hacky sack and then blats it back with a wing

"YOU HAVE THE TRAJECTORY CORRECTION OF A DONKEY!"

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu bites the chicken's ball as it comes flying, bursing it and spilling the seeds that fill it upon the ground.

YOU HAVE NO BALLS!

[Darth Chicken]

"PU SSY!" Chicken screams back.

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu takes a passing cat and throws it at him.

[Darth Chicken]

"A..... CAT? IS THAT THE BEST YOU HAVE?? SUFFER THE COMING OF MY THUNDER!!! SUFFER THE POWER OF MY VOICE!!! AWAKEN!!!"

He breathes in and then.......


"<smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont>-A-DOODLE-DO!!!!!"

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu simply blinks.

BE YOU A WARRIOR OR A FARM ANIMAL? SAVE YOUR CROWING FOR THE MORNING PEOPLE!

[Darth Chicken]

"YOU INSULT ME???????"

Chicken opens his beak and bites Yuuhuu on a very painful place

[Yuu-huu]

A high-pitched whine comes from the "Dark Lord" as he resists the urge to cry out. Instead, he lifts his saber and beats the chicken mercilessly.

RELEASE THE DANGLY BITS OF MIGHT!

Yuu-huu runs as best he can to find a solid surface. Finding a large durracrete wall, he proceeds to thrust the chicken man upon the wall, applying a gratuitous amount of lightsaber beatings to his head and shoulders.

LET GO LET GO LET GO LET GO...!

[Darth Chicken]

Chicken twists his head a bit, dangly bits in his beak tightening as pressure is applied.

"NOBTHER! NOBT UBTIBTL YOU SAB CHICKBEN!"

Hanrd to speak with a beak full of jockstrap

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu angles his arm behind him and pokes at the chicken, jabbing his opponent below the belt. An eye for an eye, after all.

YOU SPEAK LIKE A SMALL CHILD WITH A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT!

All the while he continues to bang Darth Chicken upon the wall, jabbing blindly at the man with the plastic saber.

[Darth Chicken]

"AAAGH!"

Chicken lets go squarking like mad, before picking up his rubber chicken and hitting Huu over the head again. The toy ma another pathetic squeak.

"YOU MOCK ME, MAN WHO DRESSES LIKE SISSY? I WILL RIP YOUR EYES OUT AND EAT THEM WITH SPECIAL DIPPING SAUCE!!!!"

Chicken had a plastic bendy children's safety fork for a weapon to achieve his aim.

[Yuu-huu]

Yuu-huu still has the spork he used against Tomak, Knight of Justice. He waves it threateningly at the chicken.

I WILL SPEAR YOUR NUGGETS AND SOAK THEM IN THE HONEY MUSTARD SAUCE OF DEATH! MEET YOUR FATE!

He stabs low.