To Seek Council (Estelle - Closed)

[Maximas]

A blond haired man sat still and quiet in the shadows of the Bar and Grill. Usually he was sat up at the bar looking for a pretty girl to talk to or an unsual looking character to poke fun at. Neither of these things seemed particularaly appealing right now. Maximas, wearing a baige pair of combats and t-shirt, sat in thought. He'd asked for his Master, Estelle Russard to come join him as he needed to talk to her. He needed to get a few things off his chest and to explain himself really.

Thoughts raced through his mind of all the many things he had wanted to say. As the case usually was, when it came down to it, it didnt seem to be that much but Maximas wanted to discuss it anyway. Who better to ask for advice than your own Jedi master?

There he sat and waited. Hoping Estelle would join him soon.

[Estelle Russard]

She was hurrying. Another quick glance at the chrono on her wrist advised that the hands of time were ticking ahead at a much quicker pace than her feet were catching up.

She was expected at an arranged meeting with Maximas, but had gotten behind in a training excercise with her newest padawan, Aejin Rahn.

After showering and tossing on a soft knit turtle-neck sweater and blue jeans, stuffing her feet into a pair of handy tan pumps, she was out the door and pulling her hair up into a loose knot at the nape of her neck.

She didnt want to keep him waiting. She had sensed Maximas was troubled, and their training so far had been turbulent and a little confrontational.

It was important to get this meeting off to a good start.

Entering the Bar and Grill, she didn't see him at first. Winding her way politely through the many patrons, the cheery chatter and garbled conversations of a variety of voices strangely feeling like home. Funny she never noticed that before.

She was Beginning to think perhaps he was running later than even she was, but then a break in the crowd, and she saw him over in the corner. He was looking her way, and had probably been following her progress since she had walked in.

Aproaching his table, a warm and genuine smile lighting her face, she apologised for running late.

"Im sorry to keep you waiting Maximas. Have you been here long?"

[Maximas]

"No, not that long."

He replied simply. It was a lie though. He'd been sat there for some time now. He wanted to have some self time before his meeting with Estelle and so had got to the Bar and Grill early.

Maximas looked down in the dumps but he managed a smile at the sight of Estelle. She had a certain presence about her that felt warm and comforting Max thought to himself. He hadn indeed followed her in with his eyes until she caught sight of him.

She was dressed plainly. Her hair wasnt perfect and looked like it had been a rush job but yet she still looked sweet, kind and gentle. A credit to her.

"Please, take a seat."

He nodded over towards one of the serving droids, indicating that they required serving.

"I'll take a squash and..."

He looked over to Estelle. Prompting her to order something. His heart was beating like a drum. Now he began to feel awkward. It was difficult for Maximas to discuss personal things, problems and difficulties and feelings. All of which he felt like he needed to talk to someone about. He swallowed hard and began to think about how he would start his conversation.

[Estelle Russard]

"Orange juice, please" Estelle pipped in to finish the order.

As the doid trundled away, she leant back, exhaling a thankful sigh that she could atlast take a load off her feet.

Her smile faded slightly as she looked across the table.

"You look a little piqued, Maximas. Are you unwell?"

[Maximas]

The usual full of confidence and cocky character was no where to be seen today. Maximas was trying to face up to why he had really come to the Jedi. His face turned down and toward the table in saddness before it came back up to look directly into Estelles beautiful eyes.

"I am not unwell. I...I..."

He bagan searching for the right words but fear of Estelle thinking less of him, or even worse, laughing at him took hold. He felt stupid and clostraphobic all of a sudden. His breaths were short and fast .

"Im not sure Im doing any good by trying to pretend im a Jedi. All I ever seem to feel is fustraited. In some ways im a lot better than many of the padawans here but at the same time I feel im sevearly lacking in some of their skills. On my home world, I was treated like a king or a god but people feared me because they never understood me."

He paused, and then began to talk slower. Thinking deeply into what he was saying.

"People find that hard to understand how difficult that can be. I grew up with no friends. No family. Just myself. Ive never really had to find a way to get on with people before I came here. There were preasures on me on my home plannet. Preassures to look after my people and to make sure everything ran smoothly. If anything went wrong it was blamed on me. I was an outcast in a way. And this all started from a very young age. When I was just a child.

I guess ive just never felt wanted anywhere before. Never felt like I quite fit in, you know. Ive always been on my own. When I was aged 10, I used to be looked at funny if I asked for advice on how to do something or if I said I couldnt do something.

I know that I come across as cocky and self assured, but when I look at myself I still see that kid, aged 12 not knowing what to do with my life and if I was doing the right thing.

Now, I didnt say all this to make you feel sorry for me. I said this because I wanted to appologise for the way ive acted and I hope you can understand that its only because its the only way I know how to be. Im not sure if I even joined the Jedi Order for the right reasons. Was it because I wanted to help people or was it because I wanted to get away from my previous life.

Life is hard for me here Estelle. I dont yet feel settled. I dont really have any friends or people I can talk to. I havent really met anyone I really WANT to talk to. I hope you dont mind me saying this but... you are my best friend here. My only friend."

Maximas's voice trailed off. A tingling feeling could be felt in his nose as he felt like he could do with a cry. It wasnt the manly thing to do though. Instead he frowned a little, it was obvious he felt awkward. All he could do was sit there and look at Estelle. Waiting for what she would say in return. When he looked back over what had been said, he was a little shocked at how much he'd opened up.

And so he sat there. Silent, with a glare in his eyes crying out for help, his jaw twitching from side to side every so often, trying to hold the pain he carried within him.

[Estelle Russard]

Estelle had straightened from her slouching in the chair and gradually lent ever forward as Maximas was speaking. Her attention was so arrested by the things he was saying, that she never noticed the server droid quietly roll up and deposit their drinks on the table. The moisture condensed and dribbled slowly down the sides of the glasses to pool into a puddle at their base, by the time Maximas had finished speaking.

She took a moment before she replied, searching for the right words that would somehow help.

Two things stood out starkly in the things Maximas had said. One, that he considered her his best friend - something she felt very honored to hear him say. Second, was that she had let him down in a big way. He felt she was his only friend. It had never occured to her that he might feel lonely or out of place. Certainly his background was such that he would naturally feel estranged. He was used to remaining aloof and detatched from those he was sovereign over, to now having to begin at the bottom of the ladder as a padawan and be subject to constant instruction and correction. Estelle had only seen him as confident (to a fault sometimes) and had been remiss to overlook the fact that he was struggling in his new life. She felt that this was why he was second-guessing himself and his motives for becoming a jedi in the first place.

She lifted her face and the look in her eyes was one Max was now quite familiar with. It was frank and open, with no pretence or falsness, but a sincere care for him.

"Is that what you are doing here, Maximas - 'Pretending to be a Jedi' Is that what you think?"

It was a slight rebuke, but she couldnt help it. He had no idea the potential she saw in him, and it angered her that he would sell himself so short.

"Many of us come to the Order for a variety of reasons. Escaping a past life that is painful or violent; maybe some come to seek retribution on the evil doers of the galaxy; still others may come out of a desire to do good and help others.

My point is, that it's not what brings us, but what matters is what keeps us here. What our motivation is that keeps us striving to pursue good and light."

Max looked away from her and looked around the room, before settling his gaze once more to her. Estelle wondered if she was getting through at all.

"You are a natural leader, Maximas. Your upbringing has prepared you to that end, but its more than that. Even if you choose to never lead in an official capacity, you will always lead because it is who you are. You are strong, and you can inspire others. You are a Jedi Maximas - there is no 'pretending'.

But, as you and I both know, being a Jedi means nothing of being perfect or not needing others. You have to show yourself a friend, to have friends. There are many here who care about you, but you might not allow yourself to see it. They dont know about your past, or care your social status. They see you as Maximas - a man who has the courage of his beliefs and who wishes to serve the Jedi Code.

You have to let them get to know you."

She smiled now. "I dont want you to change, Max. Your confidence and self-sufficent manner are an asset to you. And beleive it or not, endearing. (Except when you argue with me that is.) But you must turn what you feel is a hinderence to you, to your advantage. We all have to do that somehow."

[Maximas]

There was a short silence at the table after Estelle finished talking. Only the murmur of the cround and the clatter of glasses could be heard. Maximas took a sip of his squash in order to buy him some time, rather than because he needed it. He wanted to think about what he wanted to say next.

He put the glass down and swallowed hard. He was still a little choked up. He cleared his throat and began to speak.

"I thankyou for your kind words. You are... probably the most inspirational person I have ever met. If there is one thing thats stood out from your teaching its that any negative thing can be turned around to be a positive thing.

Maybe your right. I just cant help but feel fustraited at the things around me. I still feel as if there is so much pressure on me. Like there was on my home world Htrae. Maybe its me putting pressure on myself."

He looked distant as he spoke. Almost as if he were talking to himself during a day dream although he was talking to Estelle. His focus returned on the Jedi Knight.

"I dont want to cause any problems for you, and I know how much of a pain the <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont> I can be. I am trying to be as good a student as I can but it is difficult. Maybe im just not cut out for this life either. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever feel at peace anywhere."

He hesitated for a moment.

"There are other factors why I...

why I...

...na, doesnt matter."

Maximas stopped talking and raised both hands to his face where he seemed to rub downwards briefly, as if he had a lot on his mind.

[Estelle Russard]

It was obvious there was more Maximas still needed to say, but he was undecided whether or not to proceed. By his body language, the hesitation in his speech, Estelle could see that what he was going to say was not something he felt comfortable about.

She was starting to feel quite apprehensive now and a little helpless as to how to stop what she felt was coming. He kept returning to the fact he felt he didnt belong, and she felt that, of all things, was beyond her control. If Maximas wished to remain a student of the Jedi, he would do so only because it was in his own heart to stay. She would encourage him and help him every way she knew how. But in the end, it was his future and his destiny, and it was only he that could make such a choice.

He was difficult to teach, it was true. He was so damnably hard-headed. But he wasn't a bad student, not at all. He was actually a lot of fun and made her work hard. Estelle was new at being a Master to someone, and from where she sat, they both seemed to be doing well. They were a good team, when they weren't haggling at one another - which really wasn't that often.

She tried to keep the disappointment from her eyes, but didn't succed.


"If you are trying to tell me you are leaving, Maximas, you should just say it. It is cruel to have me sit here and try to guess whats in your heart. What other factors are you talking about?"

[Maximas]

Maximas looked saddend. His eyes glared emptily at the table.

"I am not thinking of leaving the order Estelle. Although I feel im struggling to fit in here, im not planning on moving on. I'll fight to the bitter end if I have to. Im a lot of things but im not a quitter.

There is something else that weighs fairly heavily on my mind but I feel I cant talk to anyone about it. Not even you. Im not a wise man and I know I get things wrong but I know that if I told you this 'other factor' it would change things between us. You would probably see me in a different light and im not so sure it would be for the better. I think some things are better left unsaid and left the way they are.

I am willing to continue my training as a Jedi, if you agree to keep training me. I know im difficult and I dont want to cause you any unnessesary stress."

Still looking somewhat sad, Max looked back up at Estelle. He was desperate to remain at the order and fight on with his training but to help protect the galaxy was only one of the two reasons why. He was feeling insecure now. He'd opend up to Estelle like he had never opened up to anyone before and he wasnt sure what to do with himself. He was nervous and worried that Estelle might want to wash her hands clean of the cocky blond.

[Estelle Russard]

Feeling puzzled by what Max had said, she looked for something in his eyes to help her understand.

She had thought they had settled the decision regarding his training back in the Academy rooms. For her, there was no question. The honor was all hers, the only thing that would change that would be Max's unwillingness to learn from her. He had said that he wanted to continue. That issue was done with.
What more was there..?

But he wouldn't look at her now, and suddenly it seemed to be clear. Things he wouldn't speak, Estelle began to wonder if they were thoughts that had more than once crossed her own mind. If so, then it could change their relationship completely and make it infinitely more complex.

She liked Maximas. Much more than she would admit out loud. He was handsome, defintely. And despite his annoyingly arogant attitude to just about everything, Estelle had always enjoyed being around him. But she had not allowed her thoughts to stray much more beyond looking forward each time to seeing him. Well...not that much more beyond anyway.

She exhaled, a little frustrated, and sipped finally from her juice. Maybe she was reading him all wrong. In that case, what horrible thing was he withholding from her. What could he not tell her?

"Maximas, if I can help, you should tell me. If not, perhaps one of the Masters....?"

[Maximas]

Maximas still remained intent on not making eye contact with Estelle. He looked practically everywhere else but it was clear he was feeling a little uncomfortable now. He shook his head.

"There probably are people here that could help. Its more of a question of wanting their help or not. I belive this to be a personal matter and one I dont particularaly want many people to know."

His eye finally caught Estelle's. She was trying to work it out. He could feel it. Her eyes gave it away. Perhaps she already knew. His face began going that familiar reddish colour again.

"I fear it may change things for me here in a way I dont want them to change. As hard as I find it at times, there are certain things that keep me going. Its those things I want to protect by not telling anyone about this. I know its not easy for you to understand and perhaps thats for the best."

Max rubbed his face again. He was confused and was having problems deciding what the best thing to do was. That was always the trouble with life. Things were never black or white. Yes or no. No right thing to do or wrong thing to do. Things could be justifed and things that seem all well and good often made things more difficult.

Then Max looked up and right into Estelles beautiful eyes. A serious look came over his face, but also one of hope.

"Estelle I.... I.... I think I...."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before a look of disapointment took over.

"I think I need another drink"

He quickly reached down to his glass and finished the remainder of his drink, which had been three quarters full.

[Estelle Russard]

Maximas looked so painfully uncomfortable, that Estelle started to laugh. She knew she shouldnt, but she couldn't help it.

And even though Max glowered at her at first, her laughter broke the tension a little, and an unwilling smile broke his lips.

"Im sorry, Max...You just are so.." she searched for the word..but she feared if she called him cute, he would blow a gasket. She opted for something else.."you are just so..earnest sometimes. It makes me nervous."


She stretched out a hand and tugged on his sleeve cuff.

"Are you hungry?"

[Maximas]

Maximas closed his eyes for the briefest of moments. Holding that split second memory for as long as he could. He sighed and instantly felt more relaxed. He had no idea how she managed it but Estelle always made him feel better. Just being around her was enough for him.

He smiled.

"Well, I wasnt that hungry but now that you mention it, I could do with having something to eat."

What with all the emotion running through him all the way through this discussion, Max hadnt noticed that he was infact starving. It was like a cut that, at first you didnt notice was there and when you do finally notice it, it stung like hell.

Estelles smile was warm and comforting and the fact that she had made contact with him by means of tugging on his sleeve only served to make him feel more at ease.

[Estelle Russard]

He gave another smile.

That was good. He had such a great smile, and his eyes crinkled at the corners. Looking at him, Estelle decided she really liked the way he smiled.

Although Estelle felt she hadn't really helped Maximas resolve anything, but atleast his spirits seemed to be picking up from when she first arrived. His apetite also. Which she was glad of, because she was starving.

"Good! Im so hungry I could eat a Bantha!"

Estelle waved the little server droid over and then turned back to Max, suddenly very enthusiastic.


"Im going to have a big steak, with mushrooms. and potatoes. They have the best roast potatoes here you've ever had. But I cant have too many, because I want dessert too, and need to save room."

[Maximas]

Max let out a little laugh at Estelles enthusiasm. She was fun to be around, he thought.

"Well, since you recomend the potatoes so much I think I'll order the same. Can we order another round of drinks please?"

The droid nodded and made its way back towards the bar to put the order in.

"So... are you going to be at the Jedi meet and greet? I havent decided if im going to go yet."

[Estelle Russard]

"Oh! You should go to the Meet and Greet if you can Maximas!"

This was a great idea, and a perfect opportunity for Max to get to know some of his fellow-jedi in a relaxed and easy atmosphere.

"I hear they are organising tables each with a Jedi Master that was around during the destruction of the first GJO Temple. This will prove to be a very interesting evening.The whole idea is to go with someone you dont know, and sit with people you havent had a chance to meet yet.

I have asked Iago Kent to go. Do you know him? I dont, but he seems like an interesting fellow."

Their second round of drinks arrived and Estelle took a sip immediately. She was really starting to relax and suddenly had so much to say.

"Please go to it Maximas - I would like to see you all dressed up and fancy looking." She grinned at him, imagining he would strike quite a handsome figure. He already made a plain old padawan beige cloak look pretty darn good.

[Maximas]

Judging by the look on the padawans face you could tell he wasnt keen. He gave a kind of funny looking snarl.

"Im not sure. I dont tend to get on well with people when thrown into the mix. If you see what I mean.

Iago Kent? Cant say ive heard of him. Although, im not really one for paying to much attention to everyone here."

Maximas looked away looking a little detached.

"Im sure you'll have a great time together."

He looked back over to Estelle. He then thought to himself that she would be there. They'd probably be put on different tables but she'd still be there.

"Maybe I will go. As you say, could be a good opertunity to meet new people."

There was a twinkle in his eye as he once again found his smile.

"Have you decided what you will be wearing yet?"

[Estelle Russard]

Their meals arrived, and Estelle started into hers without delay, while Max talked. She ignored the odd tone he had when she mentioned Iago - they'd finally got the conversation back to comfortable ground.

"No, I haven't really thought about what to wear. I take it the dinner is somewhat formal, so something nice is in order." She shrugged. "Im sure I'll find something."

She made little noises of satisfaction as she ate one, then two, potatoes. "Mm, these are great."

Estelle talked with her hands, and Maximas found his eyes distracted a little by her continuous waving of the fork.

"Im certain if you go, you will have a good time. Like you say, its to meet new people. Some folks are taking it as an opportunity for a first date, but the main idea - and this is how I see it - is to just get everyone better aquainted."

She pointed the fork at him now, potato on end, "Something we were just discussing, I believe."

[Maximas]

Maximas felt better after Estelle told him she reguarded this 'Dinner' as a way to get better aquainted with people rather than it being a first date.

He sat and watched Estelle at first as she began to eat. She seemed so delightfully happy and content when she got stuck in. The little noises she made caused Max to laugh within.

After she finished her bit about what the dinner meant to her, she finished by pointing a rather tasty looking potato in the direction of Maximas. He stared at the potato for a second, not really knowing what Estelle expected to happen next. Then his eye twinkled ever so slightly before a slight smile apeared. He glanced at his Master as he leaned down and took the potato in his mouth.

He backed away slowly and chewed. A serious look on his face could be seen now. He was analysing. The serious look quickly changed to one of delight. Somehow, with his mouth full, he managed to get the words out...

"This is good, very good"

He finished chewing and smiled before taking a sip of his drink to help wash the food down.

"I can see why you like those so much!"

[Estelle Russard]

Her mouth dropped open and she laughed. It was the last thing she expected Maximas to do.

"Lucky for me I wasn't pointing my finger."

[Maximas]

Maximas, feeling a bit more self assured and easy, a bit more like himself really just smiled and winked cheekily.

[Estelle Russard]

Estelle shook her head, still laughing, and prodded her food some more with her fork and scewered up some of the crisp lightly sauteed vegitables.

"So Maximas, tell me - as I get the sense you were mischievious as a child - one of your favoriite memories of growing up in your homeland."

[Maximas]

Maximas felt pleased that the conversation had taken a more light hearted turn. He hated feeling down and depressed but it just seemed sometimes that everything would hit him at once. Estelle was doing a good job of cheering him up.

As she asked her question, his smile fadded a little. Since he had so much pressure on him since a child, it was hard for him to remember a 'favorite moment'. Still, he pondered the question for a moment before answering.

"Well, this is probably going to sound a little silly but, ever since I were a young lad ive had my own 'place'. A secret place that no one knows about. Well, that is until I tell you.

I found it one day while taking a walk along side the river Semeht on my home world. About half way up the river, there is a smaller river, called the Yat which joins it. Where the two join, there is a waterfall. Well, I found a cave that leads you to that waterfall. You cannot simply find it by walking along the river. Its difficult to describe.

It can get quite cold there but when the sun shines through, it lights up the falling water like nothing ive ever seen before. A beautiful array of colours can be seen across it. It light up the whole cave to. It really is magical.

I used to go there all the time when I wanted time by myself to escape or to think. I used to spend a lot of time there and I really miss it.

If you wanted to hear about the mischif I used to get up to, I could probably be here all day, AND id probably get thrown out of the jedi order!"

He laughed jokingly.

"How about yourself?"

[Estelle Russard]

She had sat imagining the place Maximas described as he talked. It sounded so lovely, and it was nice to see the look that he got on his face as he recalled it to mind.

She was still smiling when he joked about his mischievious childhood. "Well, that I could tell the day I met you, Maximas" she agreed, "But we'll keep it our secret" she said conspiratorialy.

"I wish I could find a place like your waterfall somewhere around here. A place where all the cares and concerns are left outside and I can just enjoy the natural beauty and serenity for what it is."

She finished her last mouthfull of steak.

"My childhood is full of good memories, thanks to my folks and my brothers. I grew up quite differently than you, well simpler anyway. Im a country girl. Small town, close community. An uncomplicated life. No real demands other than to be a dutiful daughter, which was no hardship.

One of my favorite memories is when me and my two brothers were all at the towns spring picnic. My elder brother liked this one girl (red hair and freckles, so lovely) and my younger brother blurted out this fact while we were all drinking soda's. My elder brother was so taken by surprise and aghast at this revelation of his secret feelings that he blew soda out his nose onto the girl. Sprayed all over her. It was love between them from that moment on."

Estelle laughed, though it wasnt a funny story, the memory was, and it was precious to her.

"They have three red-haired, freckle face sons of their own now." She finished proudly.

[Maximas]

Maximas had a content little smile on his face which only got bigger when he looked at Estelle.

"Thats a great story. I love a happy ending.

I know not all Jedi here agree with relationships but do you think its possible for a Jedi to settle down with someone at some stage in their life?

[Estelle Russard]

"I think so. I mean, its been done in the past..well not so much 'settling down' - that always brings to my mind an image of dropping out and raising alfafa sprouts or something. But for building a homelife with someone. I beleive it is possible. I think a person can do this and still serve the Order.

Is that what you see for your future Maximas?"

[Maximas]

"To be honest with you Estelle, I havent really considered my future at any great detail. My life has changed so much since coming here, I really dont know how my life will pan out.

The future isnt something I would usually think too much about. It always scares me. Im more of a day to day person. That probably isnt a good thing for a Jedi but its the way I am. I would like to think that I can settle down somewhat as I get old. That I wont be alone in my life. Lonelyness is a terrible place. I know, ive been there.

Maximas looked down at his watch.

"I guess I should be going. Ive got a few things I need to do before it gets dark. Im thankfull that you were here to listen to me. Ive enjoyed my time with you"

He looked back up at Estelle and smiled softly. A glare of thought in his eyes.

[Estelle Russard]

Estelle reached over, and put both hands over his.

"Things will all fall into place for you Maximas," she looked up, honesty and care in her eyes. "The concerns you have about your place here, you will find one day to your surprise, have evaporated. You belong here. You are needed here."

She knew she should withdraw her hands, but she didnt want to, she realised. Slowly though, she brought them back to rest on the table in front of her.

"I will always be here for you."

[Maximas]

Maximas wasnt sure what to do now. Once again he found his heart pounding like a drum. He sat there still and quiet for a moment before standing up and straightning his clothes.

"Thankyou Estelle. Your kind words bring comfort to my heart. I feel at ease with you around and you help to make me feel more apart of the Jedi Order."

He glanced down towards her hand, thinking back to her soft touch. The smell of her perfume captured his attention, and not for the first time today. Then he looked back up to her pretty little face, there was one of those awkward silences, where both parties want to say something, but they dont know what to say. Max managed to break the silence after a few long seconds.

"I guess I should be going...

errr...

You up for a bi more.... er.... training, or... something tomorrow?

He asked, thinking on his toes for a reason to see Estelle again.

[Estelle Russard]

"Of course. We'll start early" she said with a smile.

"I will come by your apartment in the morning."

They both said "ok" about 3 times more than was necessary and then finally said goodnight.

Estelle ordered a tea as Maximas left, and leant back happily against the booth, smiling to herself.

[Maximas]

Max had gotten a lot of his chest this evening. He had opened up to Estelle like he had to no other before in his life. If you were to write a story on the young mans life it would be a sad read. Perhaps this was a changing point in his life. Perhaps he could make a fresh start from this day on. Every second in your life was a chance to change things around, he thought to himself.

He walked slowly down the corridors1, back to his living quarters. He didnt get very far before his thoughts returned to Estelle. He felt his heart beat a little faster and harder as it had done earlier that night. He stopped outside his quarters door and leaned up against the door frame. A short sigh escaped before and pushed the door open and he entered. He missed her already.

OOC: Do you want to begin that training thread then? If you do then just PM me the link or I can start it up. I dont mind :)

[Estelle Russard]

ooc: I can start it, just check the Living Quarters forum for it :)