Laila Annex
Jan 3rd, 2003, 10:32:32 PM
Caught up in the middle
Had no choice, had no choice
Birthright forgotten, so silent
No voice
I see you
You know who
Little girl, little girl
Now realize little girl
Overlooked little girl
Bottled up and empty holding back
At loss you're unforgotten
Getting back, get back
Expectations of another
Love given to the younger
Broken father, broken brother
Emptiness feeds the hunger
I see you
Little sister, little sister
Now realize little sister
Overlooked little girl
Change, change, change
The terrible burning emptyness in her abdomin kept Laila painfully aware of her surroundings. Her face was wet with tears and gaunt as always. Her skin had lost it's luminescent white coloring and instead was a dismal gray. Directly in her line of vision were the pills and intravenous kit that would rid her suffering in a few moments. She had not taken either for two days and already there was such a climaxing of pain that the young woman did not believe that she could last even an hour more.
Whispers...
A blinding flash of light behind her eyes caused her to jerk spasmatically and moan.
Stares...
She was shivering uncontrollably underneath the moth eaten blanket, wearing only her undergarments on the rough cot that smelled strongly of vomit. It may have been her own.
Pointing...
"Ahhh-haaaaaa! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOUUAHH!"
There was no one else in the dingy motel room. She was alone. Always alone, God damn them! Why? Why did they hate her? What was wrong with her? What had she done? It would be so easy to just close her eyes, let the stabbing in her belly take her into unconciousness that never ended. But then her mother, her mother's eyes and voice, and caress.
"They are looking at you and saying to themselves "Where did such a beautiful girl come from? You see Laila? You hear their jealous cries at night?"
A shaky hand fell limply onto the bed table and swept at the bottle of pills. Missed. Again she tried to grab them and again her feeble attempt was a failure. Screaming into her arm, Laila jerked out and clasped the medication weakly in a hand. She was exausted from the movement. It was twenty minutes later when she pulled her arm back and tried to pull the cork out of the small glass bottle. It didn't budge. Crying in frustration Laila threw it onto the wooden floor where it shattered, white pills scattering everywhere. Feeling with one slender hand she picked up seven and shoved them into her mouth one at a time, swallowing without the recommended water. Then the needle. But not now. Wait a minute. Wait for the pills.
An hour later she was sitting up and pulling on a pair of slippers. Sweatpants and an inside out t-shirt that hung loosly and slid off her shoulders were all that she put on as she dragged herself to the door of her room, leaning against the wall and crying out in pain with every shaky step.
On the street outside Laila made an attempt to wipe the salty liquid from her face but she could't stand erect without the support of both her hands. Translucent hair unbrushed and tangled. Miserably the young woman walked onwards.
Alas, it was not to be. Within a few feet of point A, her legs gave out and she fell to her knees. Leaning forward, Laila crouched there, sobbing. A sharp jab in her temples made her back arch back until her head was touching the cement, making a bridge-like frame. The six foot three inch woman looked bizaare, unhuman in that position but she could not stop it. People passing took her for a drug addict and walked around her. Laila closed her wet eyes and tried to reach a hand up. The brightness of the day caused her to see red with her closed eyelids but all too soon the light was blocked by someone stopped in it's path. Whispering, she uttered the words that had so often taken control of her life.
"Please... Help..."
Emptiness feeds the hunger
I see you
Little sister, little sister
Now realize little sister
Overlooked little girl
Change, change, change
Had no choice, had no choice
Birthright forgotten, so silent
No voice
I see you
You know who
Little girl, little girl
Now realize little girl
Overlooked little girl
Bottled up and empty holding back
At loss you're unforgotten
Getting back, get back
Expectations of another
Love given to the younger
Broken father, broken brother
Emptiness feeds the hunger
I see you
Little sister, little sister
Now realize little sister
Overlooked little girl
Change, change, change
The terrible burning emptyness in her abdomin kept Laila painfully aware of her surroundings. Her face was wet with tears and gaunt as always. Her skin had lost it's luminescent white coloring and instead was a dismal gray. Directly in her line of vision were the pills and intravenous kit that would rid her suffering in a few moments. She had not taken either for two days and already there was such a climaxing of pain that the young woman did not believe that she could last even an hour more.
Whispers...
A blinding flash of light behind her eyes caused her to jerk spasmatically and moan.
Stares...
She was shivering uncontrollably underneath the moth eaten blanket, wearing only her undergarments on the rough cot that smelled strongly of vomit. It may have been her own.
Pointing...
"Ahhh-haaaaaa! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOUUAHH!"
There was no one else in the dingy motel room. She was alone. Always alone, God damn them! Why? Why did they hate her? What was wrong with her? What had she done? It would be so easy to just close her eyes, let the stabbing in her belly take her into unconciousness that never ended. But then her mother, her mother's eyes and voice, and caress.
"They are looking at you and saying to themselves "Where did such a beautiful girl come from? You see Laila? You hear their jealous cries at night?"
A shaky hand fell limply onto the bed table and swept at the bottle of pills. Missed. Again she tried to grab them and again her feeble attempt was a failure. Screaming into her arm, Laila jerked out and clasped the medication weakly in a hand. She was exausted from the movement. It was twenty minutes later when she pulled her arm back and tried to pull the cork out of the small glass bottle. It didn't budge. Crying in frustration Laila threw it onto the wooden floor where it shattered, white pills scattering everywhere. Feeling with one slender hand she picked up seven and shoved them into her mouth one at a time, swallowing without the recommended water. Then the needle. But not now. Wait a minute. Wait for the pills.
An hour later she was sitting up and pulling on a pair of slippers. Sweatpants and an inside out t-shirt that hung loosly and slid off her shoulders were all that she put on as she dragged herself to the door of her room, leaning against the wall and crying out in pain with every shaky step.
On the street outside Laila made an attempt to wipe the salty liquid from her face but she could't stand erect without the support of both her hands. Translucent hair unbrushed and tangled. Miserably the young woman walked onwards.
Alas, it was not to be. Within a few feet of point A, her legs gave out and she fell to her knees. Leaning forward, Laila crouched there, sobbing. A sharp jab in her temples made her back arch back until her head was touching the cement, making a bridge-like frame. The six foot three inch woman looked bizaare, unhuman in that position but she could not stop it. People passing took her for a drug addict and walked around her. Laila closed her wet eyes and tried to reach a hand up. The brightness of the day caused her to see red with her closed eyelids but all too soon the light was blocked by someone stopped in it's path. Whispering, she uttered the words that had so often taken control of her life.
"Please... Help..."
Emptiness feeds the hunger
I see you
Little sister, little sister
Now realize little sister
Overlooked little girl
Change, change, change