Truth (Xazor)

[imported_Terran Starek]

Crisp, cool air encircled the man as he stood upon the windy hilltop. It was one of the few 'natural' places on Coruscant--if you could call it that. It was merely a constructed and simulated garden, one created by the same men who destroyed the nature of this planet to seal its graves with skyscraper headstones and concrete caskets. This particular place was Mount Nerite Gardens, a biosphere created to allow Coruscant patrons the pleasure of walking through something green. It was a huge, durasteel and concrete dome filled with earth and filters to create a clear-air, greenhouse type atmosphere. Nonetheless, the earth and ground was real, and it felt good against his bare feet. Technology to create such things...amazing.

He and Xazor had been here before--several times, actually. It was one of his favorite escapes on this planet, and he had spent many hours here, lying in the cool grass and taking in all the clean--manufactured or not--air in that his lungs could take.

He stood, wearing classic white garb--the styles of the educated on the planet Gais. They were a pair of pants--heavy wool, white, with gold trim--and a button up, long-sleeved tunic of the same design. A pair of soft-soled shoes lay by his old brown satchel as he pinched the grass with his toes. He was waiting. Waiting for her.

He had left her the message. She would come--there was little doubt. He couldn't wait to see her--she was so beautiful. Each time he looked upon her face, he would feel the same twinge of excitement as he did the first day he met her. Xazor Dawnstrider...the one and only love of his life. He had looked upon no other woman, nor had he ever been with one despite their absence of time together. Something--even when his memory failed him--told him that he was bound to another. And to that bond he would stay loyal.

He smiled to himself as he thought of her own smile, her eyes, her hair, and her scent. All things about this woman captivated him--every detail, every quark, every inch of her. He could barely wait to see her.

As much as he did love Xazor, this was more than a social gathering. They had much to speak of--much indeed. It would be an evening to remember, as all things true would be revealed.

[Xazor Elessar]

A woman's hand pressed against the clear door at the entrance to the large dome that held the Mount Nerite Gardens. She smiled as she entered in and was greeted by a surprising but welcome thing upon Coruscant: fresh air. Inhaling deeply, the woman shut the door behind her and then removed her shoes as she stepped upon the thick grass at her feet. It was a good feeling to be here again, she had missed this place. Her bright cyan eyes searched the vast area until they came to rest upon the man she sought, the love of her life, Terran Starek.

Xazor took a few steps forward, pushing her white robes out of the way of her path. Her waist length blond hair done up in Garou Warrior Braids and interwoven with silver coins, hung behind her back. She glowed with a radiance this day, and it seemed, everyday. Smiling and baring her elongated canines, she made her way to Terran and then bowed before sitting beside him.

"Hello my love...I have missed you so."

She said softly, speaking in quiet tones to not disturb the sanctified nature around them. It was incredible and reminded her of home...of Eden. Closing her eyes for a moment to really feel everything, she brought her attention to the handsome man beside her. Indeed, she loved seeing him....it had been too long. The Jedi Knight kissed his cheek and grinned before taking her place in the grass once again...wondering what they would speak of today, she had much to tell him.

[imported_Terran Starek]

Feeling her presence and her warm spirit comfort him, he knew she had arrived before he felt her sit next to him. Her lips were soft on his cheek as she kissed him, his smile growing as he felt her close to him.

Hello my love...I have missed you so."

"And I you, my dear." He spoke softly, kissing her back, taking her hand in his own. He stopped, just sitting there. Draping his arm around her shoulders, he puller her close to him, her head resting against him, on hs collar and neck. His other hand held hers gently as he sat with her. He could hold her forever. As time passed, as the stars grew old and dim and the moons of a thousand planets fell from orbit; as the sands of time made their final drain into the hourglass; as the galaxy drew to an end, he could stay here, holding the woman whom he loved more than life itself.

"I love you dearly, my Xazor. You know that not a single happening in this galaxy could change that." He spoke very matter-of-factly, though softly. She knew that he cared for her as much as he did. His tone did change a bit as he began to speak. It seemed as though he held her closer now.

"My dreams have been difficult to understand as of late, my dear. Things I cannot explain. Things I cannot understand. People...faces...everything twisted." He stopped to rest his head against her own. "Marcus and I had quite a talk just recently."

"I know," she replied softly, a tone in her voice that suggested she knew more about their talk than Terran thought she did.

"I learned a great many things from him. Some...some..." He stopped. How to word his thoughts had always been a plague upon him. "Some things perhaps I did not understand. I don't know if I should say them...it's just..."

"You can confide in me anything, my love." Her voice was soft and inviting, as he always knew it was. She would not hate him--not for anything he had to say or anything he wanted to know. He felt it in his heart that she would not. She moved her hand from his own to his cheek, stroking his face gently.

"I know." He smiled, somewhat foolishly. "That being true...I have much to inquire." He took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "Tell me about Dasquian and the baby." He said it politely and as though he wanted her to tell him a story. He wasn't demanding information--he just wanted to know. The whole truth.

[Xazor Elessar]

"Dasquian and the baby?"

She questioned, a bit surprised. Swallowing hard, the Knight took in a deep breath. Xazor knew that she could trust Terran, and she would, even if the subject was a bit touchy. Her eyes fell to his hand which now reached up and took hers from his face and held it against his chest. She smiled to herself, noting the comfort in his touch.

"...I am pregnant with Dasquian's baby...and I'm sure you've figured that out by now."

Pausing, she recalled all that Marcus had told Terran in their last conversation. Indeed, she knew a lot more of it than Terran thought she knew. He nodded and squeezed her hand lightly.

"I know...I understand."

He spoke soothingly to the Knight and she felt it necessary to continue on with her story. He was not angry with her, so she felt safe to speak.

"There is a great....omen, upon my child's birth, Terran. My Mother, Helenias, is a seer...the greatest at the Jedi Order. She has seen many things fortelling misfortune at the time of my baby's birth. One of those things is....that Marcus may die. Dasquian has a choice at this time...he will either stand by me as I give birth, or he will stand with Marcus and help protect us all. One of those choices is the right and the other....wrong."

Again she paused and Terran kissed the top of her head. She leaned against him still, perhaps a little closer than before. It was comforting to be in his warm embrace, knowing she could tell him anything.

"You have not been seen in these fortellings....therefore, we have concluded that perhaps you serve an even greater purpose, Terran. There is more, though...."

She swallowed once again and thought back to her strange meeting with Dasquian, just a few days ago. The Jedi Knight had gone in search of a man in a picture, then came to find out it was indeed the Father of her child. She had lost all memory of him after her run in with Alana Stormcloud, the woman who threw her into a wall.

"Dasquian and I talked the other day. I had lost all recollection of him, but...he helped restore some memories I once shared with him. Part of me.....part of me....."

Her words were cut short as tears stung at the back of her eyes, pressing forth to be released. Unable to fight them, and unafraid to show her true emotions before Terran, she let them fall. The tiny crystal droplets cascaded down her cheeks like small waterfalls, beautiful in their own way.

"Part of you still loves him...."

He finished her sentance. It was uncanny how they did that, one could finish the others sentance. She nodded slowly, and then wrapped her arms around Terran, holding him tightly.

"Perhaps it is because I don't remember everything....I love you fully, Terran....I want to marry you, to have a family...to be with you forever. I just can't shake this feeling....I didn't want to tell you, I didn't want to hurt you..."

Now the tears poured from her eyes, she was so afraid. She was afraid of the future, even the future of the next few moments....but mostly, she was afraid of ever loosing him...Terran, the one she loved.

[imported_Terran Starek]

******************************

"You can't lie to me! I know you all too well!" He teased her, pulling at her arm and smiling. He was young...maybe 15 or 16. She was also young--still familiar, but young.

"Yeah...well...I'm not lying!" Her face turned red and she looked away.

"Ha ha--that gave it away!" He said, hilighting the fact that she looked away. "I know Briana would never compliment me--let alone anyone else! She is sooooo cute, though..."

"Ok...so maybe she diddn't..." She blushed again. Her face changed a bit at his words. She is sooooo cute, though Ooooh! The nerve! She hated that girl--hated her. But why did she care? It was Chase! She had known him forever--he was a punk! She used to beat him up when she was younger and ahead of him in her training! Somehow...she cared. She wanted him to say she was cute. She was...jealous.

"Maybe I did." She looked at the ground as her tone became more serious. She meant what she said. She couldn't believe it, but she meant it.

"..." He didn't know what to say. They had always teased each other, always fought. They never really had a serious moment together--they had always been in competition. They fought against each other to earn the respect of their master. Sometimes, battle was brutal and their words were unkind. Growing up together, they had been in a constant power struggle for Kama's respect. As of late...they were becoming closer. "Do you...did you mean that?"

"It was nothing...I just think that you looked nice at the ceremony--" her words were interrupted as Chase's lips met her own. He kissed her gently, their lips together for the first time. It was an awkard moment, but she didn't resist. She stood, eyes closed, letting her hands come to grip his arms. After a few seconds, the young Sith let go.

"Xazor...I'm sorry that was..." He turned away, his face a bright red as he was highly embarrassed. He didn't know what she was thinking, but it couldn't be good, he thought. He just hoped she wasn't going to beat him up for it. Turning around to face her--

She fell into his arms, this time kissing him much more passionately. He held her, squeezing her gently. She leaned into him, letting him take hold of her completely. They kissed--this time for several more seconds--before she stopped, opening her eyes.

"That was wonderful..." she said softly, finishing his sentence.

******************************

From his own eyes, the beginings of tears formed in their sockets. His eyes grew red as the ducts welled up, ready to let loose of the liquid they stored. She held him tightly--tighter than before--as she spoke, her head buried into his chest. She was crying. Xazor was such an emotional being, but she had so much control over them. She could hide pain well in public and when dealing with others. But when she was with him, she need not hide at all.

"As I can confide in you, so you can in me." His words were meaningful, though full with emotion at this time. He knew not what to say--part of him was upset. The thought that she had feelings--strong feelings--for another struck him as a pain. It was as though he wasn't good enough for her. Maybe he wasn't enough, he wasn't smart enough or handsome enough or strong enough. Dasquian was a Jedi Knight, and a very well respected one, at that. What woman, when given the chance, would turn down his love?

The other part of him felt sad for her. She had been through tough times with the men she had cared for. With he and Shade and Dasquian and now he again--if he were to give up on her, what would it do to her? She may be a warrior, a powerful Jedi Knight, but inside she was as delicate as a flower. It would hurt her if he refused to work this through. He could not do that to her.

"Xazor," he called her name, softly bringing her head up to look at him. The tears still streamed down her face as she was still crying, upset. He ran his finger ever so softly underneather her eyes, wiping the crystal droplets from them. "I will not lie to you--the Truth: always I promise it. This...this knowledge hurts me some. I do not wish to share you with another--not anyone else."

"But I love you. I love you more than words can describe, and I know that you care for me--you let me know in so many ways. This is somethig that can be worked through." His voice was full of hope. "I believe it is something that can be dealt with...by us. Together." He reached down to touch her stomach.

"The child that lives inside of you...he may belong to another man, but I will care for it as my own. Why? Because it is yours--your baby. It will have a caring, devoted mother, and a father--Dasquian or no."

[Xazor Elessar]

* * * * *

A tall, dark man stood over a young woman who was cowering at his feet upon her knees. Lightning flashed across the sky and illuminated her face, revealing a seventeen-year-old Xazor. A deep gash was across her cheek and blood trickled down from it, cascading across her hardened features. No tears did she cry, for they were for the weak....or so she was taught to believe.

"You will learn that no matter what rank you are, Knight Xazor, that you will obey and respect me! I told you never to see that boy again!"

He barked in her face, filling her ears with an angered yell. She winced ever so slightly but kept her cyan eyes upon his face. The color in them was faded ever so slightly....but being at his hand like this did no justice for the young woman.

"That isn't fair! I.....I......"

Suddenly from behind Kama another came and with one kick to his back, the Sith Master was nearly falling over Xazor. She rolled out of the way and stood up in defensive position.

"She loves me! You can't take that from us!"

The stranger growled, finishing her sentance with the truth. Indeed, she loved him....and he loved her. Kama rose to his feet and just as he did, he struck Xazor across the face. Turning her head, she offered him the other cheek...as was custom with Masters and their students.

"You bastard!"

Yelled Chase and again, threw himself at Kama...risking his life for her. Shaking her head, the young Sith Knight backed away from the situation.

"Go Xazor! Hide! Go now!"

And so she listened to Chase, and took off....he would have to be alright...they were to be married in secret in three days. Never did she expect to have to wait years until she was to look upon his face again. It was so unexpected.....


* * * * *

Tears continued to slid down her cheeks, only to stop at Terran's fingers. She drew in a few deep, calming breaths but they seemed not to work.

"I know you're upset....it isn't fair I know......but please, trust me. I love you fully and completely and I know what Dasquian did to me, to our child. He could have saved himself but instead, he chose the easy way out and cheated on our love. It's over...it's all done...."

She cried more and brought her hands up to cup around his face. Looking deeply into his eyes, she searched for answers that were not there. How desperatly she wanted the reassurance that he was going to stay with her....to stay by her side through everything.

"My baby will have two Fathers....she will come to love you both and when she is old enough, I'll make her understand everything. I want you to be just as much in her life as Dasquian will be. I want this to work out. Dasquian and I have come to the terms of friendship...nothing more. Though I still cannot remember everything, I know that for sure. Please hear my words and believe me."

She spoke through her sorrow filled tears, aware that he had to believe at least parts of what she was saying....afterall, she only spoke the truth.

"Please, Terran? I love you....I love you more than life itself!"

Finally she broke down to the foundations and collapsed into his arms, letting her soul overflow and pour out everything she was feeling and experiencing through her tears. Perhaps it appeared like a moment of weakness, but through it all...they were building eachother up and getting stronger. Through the truth, they would make it through everything.

[imported_Terran Starek]

Her memories flowed into his own...

********************************

"You sicken me," the Master spoke as he held Chase by the throat little less than 8 feet from the ground. "Do you know what weakness is?" He twisted the throat of the young Sith Kight harder. "ANSWER ME!" His voice boomed, low, demonic undertones in it.

"Weak...ness...is..." he struggled to speak through the tight grip Kama kept on his neck.

"WHAT IS IT, CHASE!" The voice shouted again, tighter around his neck.

"It's...it's...the heart." His neck tightened even more.

"Oh is it? What about the heart?"

"Losing...con...con...control." It became harder and harder to speak.

"Exactly. Letting that foolish part of you get in the way. Emotion means nothing." He released the Sith as his limp body crashed to the floor. "Power is truly important and only attained by selfishness, not selflessness. Don't ever forget that." He turned his back to Chase as the young man gasped for air. He stopped.

"Xazor will be put to death. You will never see her again. You were always the stronger one, and now it will be proven by your independence of her." He began to walk away.

"Nooooo!" The Knight lunged forward, despite his pain, lashing out with his saber. Instantly, the master's own crimson blade sprung to life and blocked the attack easily. With the Force, he shoved the man back into the wall, where his body crumpled again. The Sith Knight was no match for his Master.

"Fool! Do you not see what I am doing for you? That...that witch of a woman has only kept you down." His face was lit by the crimson blade. "She has restrained all that you have to offer. You are powerful, my apprentice. But you can be more. When you let anger take hold of you...when you give up hope...when you embrace the Darkside."

"I will never be so diseased as you, Kama," his voice was broken, but firm.

"..." Anger raged in his face. This apprentice--he had sacrificed so much for him. Still, he had resisted for years. No more would he undermine the Sith Master.

"Than you, too, will join her in her fate." His voice stood tall. With little more discussion, a group of three or four Sith Knights entered the room. Chase knew why they were there as the snap-hiss of several sabers sounded throughout the halls.

"Good...I...would rather die at her side...than live...without her." He spoke, a pledge he made that very night.

********************************

"I will never leave your side," he thought of the pain endured on that night. The sacrifice, the hurt, the promise. He had taken a stand--against his own life, against all odds--for her. This situation was one that could easily avoid physical pain and conflict. It was forgiveness. Forgiveness from the heart...out of love.

"I will never, ever leave your side." His voice quivered a bit with emotion, as he kissed the top of her head, burying his face in her hair. He held her tightly--this was too much for him. He would be true to his promise, and he could not refuse to care for her. She was his weakness...his heart. His heart belonged to her, and it was something she kept close to her own. He could not leave her in pain, and he would not. He had come for answers about the Dasquian situation and was ending up wishing he never brought it up.

"I do not doubt our love." He held her close. "I do not doubt your faithfullness. I am foolish for bringing this burden upon you." He kissed her forehead again, still holding her in his arms, away from the troubles that plagued the rest of the galaxy, in a place made for their two spirits only.

[Xazor Elessar]

* * * * *

Xazor's eyes locked on the situation happening right before her eyes through the glass. How desperatly she wanted to jump in there with Chase and allow herself to be killed in his place. Suddenly one of the Sith in the room jumped up and drove his saber right through Chase's chest. What she didn't know, was that it was merely an illusion. He looked right through the window...right through her, and grinned wickedly. Backing up away from the building, she ran....ran to her room in the Living Quarters only to be met by Satan himself. There he sat upon her bed, holding a book in his hands. It was black leather and bound by a white string. Atop the cover in silver lettering was the title, "The Light Bringers: Jedi and Their Beliefs". As Xazor laid eyes upon the book, a lump formed at the back of her throat. She fell to a knee and lowered her head.

"What is this rubbish you've been studying? It doesn't look like the book of Sith Spells I gave you two months ago! What's been going through your head, Xazor? XAZOR?!"

He dove to the floor and got in her face, grasping her chin with his hand. Roughly he yanked her head around and force her eyes into his.

"TELL ME!"

His voice echoed from the pits of hell. She did not allow her eyes to look away from his in this moment of truth.

"I was studying....about the Jedi. I.....I don't want this anymore!"

With that, the Sith Master shoved her face away and she fell back, then he kicked her in the stomach. Curling up in pain did not help, for he took two giant steps to her and pulled her to her feet by her beautiful blonde hair.

'TREASON! I have the right.....to KILL YOU!"

He quickly drew the crimson saber upon his weapons belt and with a quick spin, he slashed open her right arm. A deep cut out of her robes and out of her flesh began to drip tiny droplets of blood, but not much.....the heat of the saber cauterized the deep wound. Growling and wincing in pain, she glared into Kama's eyes. Why didn't he kill me? she thought to herself.

"Wherever you go, you will always be aware of my presence and those of my kind!"

Kama shouted in her face before stomping out of the room and slamming the door behind him. Before he had left, he made a point of throwing the book into the fire. Xazor fell to her knees and tears fell from her eyes. She found a cloth and wrapped her wound.....then packed a few things and snuck out of her room through the large glass window overlooking the gardens. Once at the spaceport, she found her Master's X-Wing fighter, stolen from a Jedi long ago....and she stole it from him....taking it far away from that life, wherever the Force lead her. Surprisingly enough, several days later, she arrived at the Greater Jedi Order and began a new life.....the life she was supposed to be living with Chase.


* * * * *

"Don't be sorry....please don't be sorry....."

She held onto him tightly as the words slipped off of her pink lips. The tears from her eyes continued falling down her soft cheeks and somehow, the emotions were wearing upon her features. She looked terribly burdened and deeply troubled....even when she was trying to fight it. Letting her eyes close out of the feeling that a headache was coming on, she fought that with her natural healing abilities.

"Thank you Terran.....I love you.....I love you....."

Xazor leaned her head against his chest and kissed his neck through the salty tears that fell past her lips. She fell back into that same, curled up position....but this time, in his arms where she belonged.

"If you want....I....I'll leave. I'll leave everything and go far away from Dasquian so you can be sure you trust me. All I want is to be with you...forever. No one else will ever get in our way, I promise! We're supposed to be together.....we are....."

She let the words hang in the air momentarily as her heart rate began to slow. The tears stopped falling from her eyes, one at a time until now only once in a while, one or two fell. She was calming down once again, sure that Terran would keep her safe in his arms for the rest of eternity. That is where she belonged: with him. It was indeed, the truth.

[imported_Terran Starek]

"I love you too, my dear." He spoke, his own voice softened at this moment. Xazor Dawnstrider--a feared Jedi Warrior, one of the Lost Jedi, a fierce garou--lay in his arms, curled up like a baby, crying. He thanked the Force that he was one of the few to see the delicate emotions of this amazing woman manifested. He felt honored. He felt special. He felt loved. He welcomed the kisses on his neck.

"If you want....I....I'll leave. I'll leave everything and go far away from Dasquian so you can be sure you trust me. All I want is to be with you...forever. No one else will ever get in our way, I promise! We're supposed to be together.....we are....."


"No...no..." He held her tightly against him. "Never leave me. Never. If it would mean to stand before all and suffer, than so be it. If it means to stand before all odds and fail, so be it. I will not lose you again." He kissed the top of her head as his hands ran softly through her hair. "Not again." His mind drifted.

************************

He had just seen Xazor dragged away in the main chamber of the palace. He and Kama had a fight and then...then more Sith came into the room. Three of his peers and one he didn't know--Kita, Deric, Siryus, and the unnamed. Kama had left him lying there...he was going to Xazor's room...he was going to hurt her. Just as he had rushed the passage, the 4 Sith had attacked. Crimson saber's whirled around him as they converged upon him. Chase's own saber came to life. Siryus would be the strongest, followed by the rest. Best to take the weakest out quickly.

WHOOOOOOM--CRASH

His blade crashed onto the unnamed man's own blade. His power was increased. Despite his injuries, he was a man enraged on on a single mission. Nothing would stop him--not blood nor pain nor physical opposition. Flashes of light errupted as he struck at the blade several more times, weakening his defenses before finally coming around to his left, the slash tearing into the man's flesh and across his arm and chest. His arm was severed and chest was gouged. He fell to the ground, dead.

Kita a Deric stormed him. He called the fallen's saber to his hand, weilding double, fiery blades. Blocking the two attacking sabers, he spun his body around, putting himself between the men. Anger took over as his body contorted into strange positions and techniques he didn't know he had in him. He swung his sabers with blinding speed and accuracy, parrying attacks and fending off the two. Finally, he saw a weakness. Force pushing Kita to the ground, he turned to face Deric. With a quick kick to the stomach, he uppercutted his saber, jamming it into his chest. Kita's footsteps sounded behind him as he quickly pulled the blade out, backstabbing through his lower torso. The two fell dead.

"You're gonna pay for all this!" Siryus yelled, rushing Chase. He held his saber high.

"I don't think so," the words were muttered in a low, frightening tone. The man was possesed. No longer did any humanity remain...it was dragged out of the room within Xazor's heart. Stunning swordplay ensued as the two men went rounds. After several minutes of sparring, Siryus found a weakness, slashing his saber across Chase's arm, gashing deep into it, leaving his left arm useless and painfully aching. Next he attacked his leg, slashing open his right thigh, the sting of the blade searing his flesh. Chase dropped to a knee, seemingly immobile and exhausted.

"Now...you...will taste...the sting of the power...you shun..." Siryus panted, raising his saber high to deliver a final blow.

"Fool," Chase spoke, using the last ounce of the Force and skill inside of him to lunge forward with his courage and will. He stabbed the saber through the man's stomach as the Sith Knight dropped his weapon and body to the floor, dead. The Sith rose barely to his feet, surrounded in a pile of death. He felt terrible and wanted only one thing.

"Xazor!" Chase screamed, the voice extremely tired and worn. He leaned against the wall for support, dragging his body against it and down the corridor where she lived. "Xazor--"

"Looking for someone?" The voice boomed almost as quickly as the Force push that shot directly into his face and sent him sharply to the ground.

"Get him to the shuttle...we are leaving immediately...." the voices trailed off as he lost consciousness, his face slumped against the dirty, cold stone floor.

************************

"No. No." He said, almost as though waking from a dream. "Never again." He held her tightly, squeezing her body against his own. Never would he let her leave him. Never will he be so weak and helpless to watch her be stripped from him.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor mustered a smile as Terran held her close to his body. His embrace was warm and comforting and she knew that he was all she needed.

"I won't leave you...I won't. Just hold me here......keep me with you. Don't you go anywhere either...."

She said softly, then her thoughts were drawn to other things. Perhaps he wished to talk about something else, for it seemed that maybe more things were on his mind.

"Did you....did you wish to discuss something else? You seem preoccupied beyond what we've already talked about..."

Her voice was a bit shaky but they needed to do this...the Truth about everything could not be kept from either of them or they would be lying by silence.

[imported_Terran Starek]

"Many thoughts darken my mind, looming over me like a shadow, my love." He spoke with a new heaviness in his voice. His talk with Marcus had been quite unexpected and very enlightening. But, at the same time, many things were brought to his attention that perhaps he was not entirely ready to face himself. Not the least of these being the organization that Marcus and Xazor had established: The Lost Jedi. It's means, rules, and lack thereof had perplexed him in many ways. How to tell Xazor this...that was another task altogether.

"In my absence, you have delved deep into the Jedi arts, becoming a wise and powerful Jedi Knight of status that some can only dream about attaining. For this, I am in awe of you--in awe of your committment." He smiled. "Mine is a bit more slow-coming, it seems. Learning to use the Force in ways I have never contemplated takes much work."

"You and Marcus...you are among the most revered at the Greater Jedi Order. Together, your wisdom is impeccable. Marcus...Marcus, I mean he is--"

"Great, I know." She smiled and giggled. Finishing Terran's sentences were not difficult for her.

"Yeah," he smiled back. "But...but Xazor..." He hesitated. How was he to confront someone he cared so much about and thought so highly of about this? How was it possible?

"It is ok, Terran. You can trust me--you know this." She kept his hand safely in hers, and he felt it was indeed safe there.

"Xazor...The Lost Jedi...I know...and sometimes...sometimes it scares me." He hated to doubt the wisdom of two of his greatest friends--it went against everything he believed. But he could not hold his thoughts back. "I worry for you, my love. I worry that at times...at times the Darkside's shadow is waiting just around the corner...waiting for just the right the time."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor's grip upon Terran's hand loosened ever so slightly when he spoke. Her eyes fell from his face and she nodded slowly, coming the realization of what he was saying.

"You're afraid I am still vaunerable. You're afraid I'll fall...."

Her voice cracked when she spoke but that did not stop her from gazing into his eyes again. Swalling a hard lump at the back of her throat, the Knight forced a smile upon her face and then continued.

"I walk a very fine line, Terran....but if Marcus thought for one second that I was going to slip and fall, he'd catch me and set me straight again. Indeed, we defy the Council and.....we do not agree with the Jedi Code, but that does not make us any less of a Jedi. We are untouched by the Darkness, we just view things differently."

Canting her head slightly to the right, Xazor looked at Terran with those ever loving eyes. She smiled this time, honestly....truthfully, and gently caressed his face with her hand.

"I would not put myself at such a risk if I was not strong in the Light. Besides, there is someone you have never met that has a promise with me.....a very tight covenant. We will never let the other fall....ever. And there are others who would never stand for it either."

She thought upon her Blood Brother, Satine Capashen...the one who made that promise, now a Jedi Master himself. Smiling, Xazor breathed in a deep calm breath.

"And Marcus knows me better than anyone else.....he knows what goes on in my head....he knows...."

Then she stopped....he knew not of their Life Bond...he had no idea that she knew exactly what Marcus was doing at that very moment. She couldn't tell Terran that Marcus was listening to their conversation, and that when she was to have her child...he would bare her pain during birth too. Shaking her head, she pushed the thoughts away.

"He and I have spent much time together....he knows a lot about me."

She lied and did so very well, leaving only a hint that perhaps she was keeping something from him. Her eyes pulled away from his to hide this even more so....afraid that they would give her away.

[imported_Terran Starek]

"Than if it is so...if these people have so much at stake for you; if they take care of you so closely and guard you so strongly; if you are so accountable to them, than I will put my trust in their hands as well." He paused. "I know you are not an overly-trusting type, and I will not take for granted these people that you believe in." He smiled, letting her know that his words were true. To say he had no reservations about The Lost was a lie. However, to say that he would put his trust in Xazor and the wisdom of those surrounding him, was the truth. He would.

"It's just that I...I will never be able to see eye-to-eye with you on this, my dear. I can never understand this Lost Jedi philosophy. It seems contradictary to my nature." His brow furrowed slightly. "I have never been the same warrior you are, Xazor. Your strength...your ferocity. It dwarfs my own at many times in battle. Though we have had many good spars, I know that you have held back much of your true strength." He paused again.

"Perhaps it is rooted in the fierce warrior's spirit that lies in you that The Lost Jedi can be born and made a just presence." He held her hand tightly. "In you, I believe. But I can never fully agree with The Lost. I will stand by you, my love..." He paused. This was so difficult to say.

"With all of my heart and forever I will love you. I will be right by your side--right next to you for all eternity. I will comfort you when your emotions overwhelm you. I will aid you when you are sick. I will offer my strength when you can draw upon none of your own." A tear showed in his eye as he spoke the Truth. "But I will not embrace The Lost Jedi. It will remain of yours and Marcus' design. I hope you can achieve your goals, and I pray to the Force that you or Marcus never come to harm in it's shadow." He hoped she would understand him--he prayed to Force that she could see! He was not as strong as she--he was not cut out to do the dirty work of the GJO. He would fall, fall back into the darkness he had escaped.

His eyes came to tears as he wondered what she was thinking. Would she hate him now? Would she shun him as a fool? Would she think him weak or cowardly? Would she...would she stop loving him?

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor listened intently as Terran spoke. His words were from his heart and she could not damn him for that. Smiling softly as she did with evident love in her eyes, the Jedi Knight reached out with both hands and gently caressed his face.

"Terran.....I could not ask you to put your heart and soul into something that you cannot support. I understand completely...and just as you do not stand behind my organization, I do not stand behind the Jedi Code nor the Council. We may be different in those ways but that does not mean we're not meant for one another."

She allowed a little laugh to escape her lips as she pointed out the foolish thought. Indeed, it was insane to think that something so small could keep them apart when they knew very well that nothing could.

"I take your words to heart and I shall remember all you have said. I appreciate that you at least stand behind me and wish the best for me. That means a lot....that is true strength....true love."

Pushing a strand of hair away from his eyes, she smiled and ran her fingers through the rest of his brown locks. The woman leaned in and so tenderly kissed his lips that it was like angel's wings touching his skin....barely there, but strong.

"I love you, Terran Starek...and I shall so until the day I die."

[imported_Terran Starek]

He held her tightly as she spoker her pledge. To understand what churned inside of him as his mind was filled with these doubts as of late was impossible. He had made his feelings known. And, like only she could do, had dispatched his fears as more swiftly than they had come. Indeed--she was an angel. His angel--one whose love he would share with no one else. He loved her more dearly than any before--friend or family--or any to come.

"As will I." He kissed her forehead gently, letting his lips be a comfort to her mind. To be in her presence was still exhilerating, and he wished to stay there a few more hours. Holding her close, he leaned back to relax himself.

"You know, Miss Dawnstrider, all the weight has been taken off of my shoulders by this meeting." He smiled into her eyes. "Well...most things."

"What is it?" Xazor's eyes softened and darkened a bit, worried that he might bring more concerns to her already weary head.

"Well...I was wondering..." He paused, drawing out the moment. He looked down towards her face. "It was on my mind...a great pain...wondering how someone as beautiful and wonderful as you could love such a whiny bookworm like me!" He laughed, teasing her, softening the mood a bit.