Duncan B. Moore
Dec 18th, 2002, 10:24:04 PM
"So hey, we're graduating in a couple months."
"Yeah."
"Got any plans?"
"...........Thinkin' of getting a job."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. You?"
"Oh, same. What kind of job you gonna get?"
"Well, I was thinking of becoming a criminal."
Sheldon choked on his soda, spwering it all over the old sofa. He pushed his thick glasses against his nose and stared at Bradley. His fair haired friend, while cynical, was usually fairly serious about hings like this.
"What?"
"I said, I'm thinking of becoming a criminal."
"How did you... Why?"
Sheldon stared at him. Brad was involved in the holoscreen which was playing a comedy routine. He laughed and Sheldon turned to look but missed it. Brad shrugged.
"I suppose it's just been ruminating in my head for awhile. Seems like a fair idea. Y'know, some guys become lawyers, some become bankers... I'm gonna be a criminal."
Sheldon stared for a minute and then turned back to the holo. It was quiet for a few moments and then Brad broke the silence.
"Paul."
"What?
"You look like Paul, off 'The Wonder Years'."
"Huh?"
"You know, Paul, Wonder Years... Kevin's best friend? Jesus Sheldon don't you watch anything at home?"
Sheldon shook his head.
"My mom says I'll end up in jail if I do."
Brad wrinkled his face.
"What?
Sheldon shrugged and sighed.
"I don't know... she says that there's these messages in the shows that suck young men into the void of miscreants."
"The void of miscreants?"
Sheldon shrugged. Brad still looked confused.
"Hey Sheldon, is your mom still on Vicoden?"
"Huh? Oh, no."
"Might wanna check on that."
"You can't talk Brad. You're mom's a stripper."
Brad pointed a finger at Sheldon in midsip of a soda. After he set down the drink he shook his head.
"Ah see, that's where you're wrong. She's an exotic dancer. An entertainer. In a musically inclined proffesion that requires extreme physical effort."
"Stop shining it up!"
"Hey, you're mom's a librarian. Besides, I have one up on you."
Sheldon switched the holo off.
"What?"
"Yeah, having an exotic dancer mom is like... seeing your phone model in a James Bond movie."
"Okay, explain that."
Brad adjusted his seated position and pulled a faded cusion into his lap, leaned forward.
"Okay... Well before you see the James Bond movie, your phone is jsut a phone right, you never paid attention to it before right?"
"Right."
"But then... you see it in the James Bond movie. And suddenly its really cool and everyone wnats it."
Brad sat back and took another sip of soda. Sheldon stared.
"Sp because there were dancers in James Bond everyone wants your mom?"
Brad sighed.
"Nevermind Sheldon."
************
"Bradley you've been in there for a hour! Hurry up!"
"In a minute Ma!:
Brad rinsed the rest of the shaving cream from his face and gave his blonde curls another check before flinging the door open and sliding out, kissing his mother's cheek. He was wearing black dress slacks with a belt and a purple dress shirt untucked just so, with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows and the first button undone. Brad completed his outfit with a black fedora and loafers.
"Bye Ma!"
"Get outta here and stay outta trouble!"
"I love you too Ma!"
Brad grabbed his keys and a suit jacket to carry over one shoulder. He slammed the door and slind down the banister of the apartment complex stairs and out the door where Sheldon was waiting. Sheldon wore a striped t-shirt and jeans. He eyed Brad cautiously.
"I thought we were doing the James Dean jean thing. You look like you stepped outta the 50's Mafia."
"I've declared it Rat Pack day Sheldon."
"What?"
"You know... Sammy, Dean, Peter, Joey... Frank?"
"Huh?"
Brad grabbed Sheldon's arm and pulled him to the wall,. glancing about like he was embaressed.
"Are you telling me you've never hear of Frank?"
"Frank who?"
Brad reeled back, face agahst.
"Fra...huh... 'Frank who' he says! Frank! Frank SINATRA!"
Sheldon still looked blank.
"Sinatra? Never heard of him."
Brad gaped and stumbled away, casting glares back at Sheldon who hurried after hime. Suddenly Brad jumped up onto a parked speeder and tossed Sheldon his suit jacket.
"I won't dance, don't ask me... I won't dance, don't ask me! I won't dance, madame with yoooou..."
He slid down the front windshield and tipped his hat low over his eyes.
"...My heart won't let my feet do things that they should do..."
Brad jumped down and grabbed an unsuspecting woman around the waist, dancing.
"You know what, you're lovely... You know what, you're so lovely and though what you do to me...."
He dipped the woman who smiled uncertainly.
"I'm like an ocean wave that's bumped on the shore... I feel so absolutely stumped on the floor..."
The Sinatra imitator spun his partner away and spread his arms out waltzing with an imaginary dancer.
"When you dance you're charming and you're gentle.... 'Specially when you do the continental... But this feeling isn't urely mental... For Heaven rest us, I am not asbestos!"
The fedora came off, flipping stylishly into Brad's hands who used it to punctuate his sentences, pointing at passing women.
"And that's why I won't dance, why whould I? I won' dance, how could I? I won't dance, mercy beucoup. I know that music leads the way to romance... So if I hold yooou in my aaaaaaarms.... I won't dnace!"
He stopped and continued walking down the street as if nothing had happened. Sheldon ran after.
"Hey.... Hey Brad what was that?"
Brad sat down on the hood of a speeder.
"That, Sheldon, was Sinatra."
Sheldon pushed his glasses up onto the top of his nose and sat down beside Brad.
"Sinatra."
He breathed. Brad nodded grinning. He used the speeder's windshield to check his hair. Sheldon waited till he was done.
"So Brad, what are we doin' here anyway?"
"I'm looking for a job."
"I thought you wanted to be a criminal."
Brad nodded patiently.
"I do Sheldon."
"So why are we here?"
Brad sighed.
"Well I'm not going to roba bank and start out on my own right away. I don't know enough. I'm going to find a boss and learn the ropes, build a name and then when I'm smart enough I'll rob a bank. Or something."
He msiled to himself then clapped his hands onto the speeder hood, looking around. Sheldon shook his head.
"It wont work."
Brad looked at him, puzzled.
"Why not?"
"Well, wht, are we just going to sit here and wait for some bigwig ciminal to walk around the corner?"
Brad raised his eyebrows like it was obvious and was amazed that his friend didn't get it.
"Yaaaaah."
Sheldon shrugged.
"It won't work. First of all, the chances of that happening are like... A billion to one a nd second of all what are you going to do if it does? Say 'Hi, my name is Brad Moore, I couldn't help but notice with my telepathic powers that you're a felon. Can I work for you?'"
Brad stared at him silently for a long moment .
".... Shutup Sheldon. That stupid chess club makes you think too much."
The boys sat quietly without talking. They watched people walking by. they had absolutely no idea what they were looking for.
Sheldon leaned in towards Brad, grinning.
"Maybe we should aske people to raise their hands if they're willing to apprentice mini-Frank in the was of eradicating society..."
"Ha ha. Funny Sheld."
Brad was grinning though and they started laughing.
"I dunno, maybe this is ridiculous."
Sheldon shook his head.
"Brad, I've known you since we were in diapers and when you set your mind on something you do it. At any cost unfortuantly for me. Don't worry, I'm sure one day you'll be the most wanted man in the galaxy."
The laughed again. Brad rubbed his eyes.
"Not exactly a normal desire is it? How about a soda?"
Sheldon shook his head.
"Nope. I'm saving every credit for my ship."
Brad held up his hand and wiggled the fingers.
"Five finger discount Sheld."
"Yeah, no, see I'm really not up to getting caught shoplifting. Not after last time."
Brad stood up and stretched.
"Last time was a complete freak accident. I'm the best there is Sheld, you know that."
Sheldon coughed back a laugh. Brad grinned and then lay down on the speeder hood and groaned. they'd been sitting there for a few hours.
"Uuuuuuh.... That bank is starting to look like a good idea... Or maybe a casino! Yeah, there we go! I'll rob a casino! It's faster, and--"
"And you're more liekly to get killed before you see fresh air."
"Uuuuuuh!"
"Yeah."
"Got any plans?"
"...........Thinkin' of getting a job."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. You?"
"Oh, same. What kind of job you gonna get?"
"Well, I was thinking of becoming a criminal."
Sheldon choked on his soda, spwering it all over the old sofa. He pushed his thick glasses against his nose and stared at Bradley. His fair haired friend, while cynical, was usually fairly serious about hings like this.
"What?"
"I said, I'm thinking of becoming a criminal."
"How did you... Why?"
Sheldon stared at him. Brad was involved in the holoscreen which was playing a comedy routine. He laughed and Sheldon turned to look but missed it. Brad shrugged.
"I suppose it's just been ruminating in my head for awhile. Seems like a fair idea. Y'know, some guys become lawyers, some become bankers... I'm gonna be a criminal."
Sheldon stared for a minute and then turned back to the holo. It was quiet for a few moments and then Brad broke the silence.
"Paul."
"What?
"You look like Paul, off 'The Wonder Years'."
"Huh?"
"You know, Paul, Wonder Years... Kevin's best friend? Jesus Sheldon don't you watch anything at home?"
Sheldon shook his head.
"My mom says I'll end up in jail if I do."
Brad wrinkled his face.
"What?
Sheldon shrugged and sighed.
"I don't know... she says that there's these messages in the shows that suck young men into the void of miscreants."
"The void of miscreants?"
Sheldon shrugged. Brad still looked confused.
"Hey Sheldon, is your mom still on Vicoden?"
"Huh? Oh, no."
"Might wanna check on that."
"You can't talk Brad. You're mom's a stripper."
Brad pointed a finger at Sheldon in midsip of a soda. After he set down the drink he shook his head.
"Ah see, that's where you're wrong. She's an exotic dancer. An entertainer. In a musically inclined proffesion that requires extreme physical effort."
"Stop shining it up!"
"Hey, you're mom's a librarian. Besides, I have one up on you."
Sheldon switched the holo off.
"What?"
"Yeah, having an exotic dancer mom is like... seeing your phone model in a James Bond movie."
"Okay, explain that."
Brad adjusted his seated position and pulled a faded cusion into his lap, leaned forward.
"Okay... Well before you see the James Bond movie, your phone is jsut a phone right, you never paid attention to it before right?"
"Right."
"But then... you see it in the James Bond movie. And suddenly its really cool and everyone wnats it."
Brad sat back and took another sip of soda. Sheldon stared.
"Sp because there were dancers in James Bond everyone wants your mom?"
Brad sighed.
"Nevermind Sheldon."
************
"Bradley you've been in there for a hour! Hurry up!"
"In a minute Ma!:
Brad rinsed the rest of the shaving cream from his face and gave his blonde curls another check before flinging the door open and sliding out, kissing his mother's cheek. He was wearing black dress slacks with a belt and a purple dress shirt untucked just so, with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows and the first button undone. Brad completed his outfit with a black fedora and loafers.
"Bye Ma!"
"Get outta here and stay outta trouble!"
"I love you too Ma!"
Brad grabbed his keys and a suit jacket to carry over one shoulder. He slammed the door and slind down the banister of the apartment complex stairs and out the door where Sheldon was waiting. Sheldon wore a striped t-shirt and jeans. He eyed Brad cautiously.
"I thought we were doing the James Dean jean thing. You look like you stepped outta the 50's Mafia."
"I've declared it Rat Pack day Sheldon."
"What?"
"You know... Sammy, Dean, Peter, Joey... Frank?"
"Huh?"
Brad grabbed Sheldon's arm and pulled him to the wall,. glancing about like he was embaressed.
"Are you telling me you've never hear of Frank?"
"Frank who?"
Brad reeled back, face agahst.
"Fra...huh... 'Frank who' he says! Frank! Frank SINATRA!"
Sheldon still looked blank.
"Sinatra? Never heard of him."
Brad gaped and stumbled away, casting glares back at Sheldon who hurried after hime. Suddenly Brad jumped up onto a parked speeder and tossed Sheldon his suit jacket.
"I won't dance, don't ask me... I won't dance, don't ask me! I won't dance, madame with yoooou..."
He slid down the front windshield and tipped his hat low over his eyes.
"...My heart won't let my feet do things that they should do..."
Brad jumped down and grabbed an unsuspecting woman around the waist, dancing.
"You know what, you're lovely... You know what, you're so lovely and though what you do to me...."
He dipped the woman who smiled uncertainly.
"I'm like an ocean wave that's bumped on the shore... I feel so absolutely stumped on the floor..."
The Sinatra imitator spun his partner away and spread his arms out waltzing with an imaginary dancer.
"When you dance you're charming and you're gentle.... 'Specially when you do the continental... But this feeling isn't urely mental... For Heaven rest us, I am not asbestos!"
The fedora came off, flipping stylishly into Brad's hands who used it to punctuate his sentences, pointing at passing women.
"And that's why I won't dance, why whould I? I won' dance, how could I? I won't dance, mercy beucoup. I know that music leads the way to romance... So if I hold yooou in my aaaaaaarms.... I won't dnace!"
He stopped and continued walking down the street as if nothing had happened. Sheldon ran after.
"Hey.... Hey Brad what was that?"
Brad sat down on the hood of a speeder.
"That, Sheldon, was Sinatra."
Sheldon pushed his glasses up onto the top of his nose and sat down beside Brad.
"Sinatra."
He breathed. Brad nodded grinning. He used the speeder's windshield to check his hair. Sheldon waited till he was done.
"So Brad, what are we doin' here anyway?"
"I'm looking for a job."
"I thought you wanted to be a criminal."
Brad nodded patiently.
"I do Sheldon."
"So why are we here?"
Brad sighed.
"Well I'm not going to roba bank and start out on my own right away. I don't know enough. I'm going to find a boss and learn the ropes, build a name and then when I'm smart enough I'll rob a bank. Or something."
He msiled to himself then clapped his hands onto the speeder hood, looking around. Sheldon shook his head.
"It wont work."
Brad looked at him, puzzled.
"Why not?"
"Well, wht, are we just going to sit here and wait for some bigwig ciminal to walk around the corner?"
Brad raised his eyebrows like it was obvious and was amazed that his friend didn't get it.
"Yaaaaah."
Sheldon shrugged.
"It won't work. First of all, the chances of that happening are like... A billion to one a nd second of all what are you going to do if it does? Say 'Hi, my name is Brad Moore, I couldn't help but notice with my telepathic powers that you're a felon. Can I work for you?'"
Brad stared at him silently for a long moment .
".... Shutup Sheldon. That stupid chess club makes you think too much."
The boys sat quietly without talking. They watched people walking by. they had absolutely no idea what they were looking for.
Sheldon leaned in towards Brad, grinning.
"Maybe we should aske people to raise their hands if they're willing to apprentice mini-Frank in the was of eradicating society..."
"Ha ha. Funny Sheld."
Brad was grinning though and they started laughing.
"I dunno, maybe this is ridiculous."
Sheldon shook his head.
"Brad, I've known you since we were in diapers and when you set your mind on something you do it. At any cost unfortuantly for me. Don't worry, I'm sure one day you'll be the most wanted man in the galaxy."
The laughed again. Brad rubbed his eyes.
"Not exactly a normal desire is it? How about a soda?"
Sheldon shook his head.
"Nope. I'm saving every credit for my ship."
Brad held up his hand and wiggled the fingers.
"Five finger discount Sheld."
"Yeah, no, see I'm really not up to getting caught shoplifting. Not after last time."
Brad stood up and stretched.
"Last time was a complete freak accident. I'm the best there is Sheld, you know that."
Sheldon coughed back a laugh. Brad grinned and then lay down on the speeder hood and groaned. they'd been sitting there for a few hours.
"Uuuuuuh.... That bank is starting to look like a good idea... Or maybe a casino! Yeah, there we go! I'll rob a casino! It's faster, and--"
"And you're more liekly to get killed before you see fresh air."
"Uuuuuuh!"