Letters: The power of writing (Feliciana)

[SashaKovalev]

Dear Fel,

Things have been pretty busy here since you left…

With frustration, he let the pen drop to the desk. Already, the letter didn’t sound quite right. But he hadnt ever really thought he would be writing letters to her like this, and so he wasn’t sure at all what to say. He stared at the candle, the only light in his room and watched it flicker.

He sighed, his hand rubbing his forehead, and then reached once again for the pen.

I moved rooms. I couldn’t stand looking at your door every time I went back to mine, knowing that behind yours was an empty shell of what used to be. Im up a floor now, with a bigger room, and a better view. I can see the ocean from my room, now. Sometimes on stormy nights, I just watch out the window at the waves as they crash on the shore.

I wish I could say a new room makes me happier. I don’t know, maybe sometimes it does. Just..something different. I’d be lying if I said that I don’t think of you much, but the truth is that I think of you often. I see your face in every window. I catch the scent of your perfume at the strangest of times and turn to find that you arent there.

I try not to feel angry that you’re gone, that you had to leave and that being here together wasn’t enough for you, but its difficult. I love you, and I support you, but I cant lie to you and tell you it doesn’t drive me insane at times with anger. At the very least, take some consolation in the fact that this is the place for someone with anger.

I hope that you are well. I havent heard from you yet, but I guess I didn’t really think that I would. I knew you would be busy. I only hope that you’re ok, and that your decision is bringing you all the happiness that you desire. I hope that its worth it.

For a moment, he leaned back in his seat, setting the pen down in front of him. Absently, his fingers rubbed the place on his pinky where the ring he had once worn used to be. The ring that she now wore and then he picked up the pen once again.

Forgive me if this letter upsets you. Ive struggled writing it. I guess I just never figured I’d be writing a letter like this. I guess I just thought that any letters I wrote for you would be left beside you on a pillow as you slept. Letters that promised I’d return in a few days time. Instead I find myself asking you of your life – wondering what you are doing and how you are. Wondering if you’ll ever even get this letter at all.

With a ragged sigh, he tossed the pen down. This wasn’t how he wanted to come across, but somehow, somehow he just couldn’t make the letter uplifting. He was missing her, and he wasn’t sure how to deal with this empty feeling. It wasn’t something he’d ever experienced before in his nineteen years of life.

Eventually, he reached for the pen once again.

I don’t really know what else to say. I mean, I guess I do. There’s a lot I want to say, really. But somehow it loses its meaning when its ink on paper, and not you here in front of me to hear the words instead of read them. Know that Im thinking of you. Know that I care. More than I ever thought I was capable of caring.

And know that if I ever see your face again, it will be the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.

I love you.

Always,
Sasha

He stared at it for a moment. There was so much more he wanted to say, but thinking it hurt enough – writing it would have killed him.

And then he scanned the letter in, so that she would, at the very least, see his handwriting, and perhaps…perhaps it would remind her enough of him that she would…..

She’d what? Return? Frustrated, angry, heartbroken, he stood, shoving the chair away. It fell with a clatter to the floor. He knew that Robi, with her sensitive ears would hear it from across the hall, and in moments, she would be there to check on him.

And so, without another thought he hit send, and off the letter went…..

[Feliciana Devano]

It was a sunny day as a figure sat at her desk and studied out of a thick book. The pages had silver coating on them and the cover of the book was a black leather, laced with dust of old. The sunlight filtered in through the large windows in her new home and danced across the floor, casting silhouettes upon the walls of the room that mirrored things of the outside world. There the woman sat, alone as she ran her fingers over the words upon the thin pages. Suddenly a beeping noise quietly rang out in her room and she reached for the source: her holo-imaging pad. Someone had sent her something and a with a smile, she pushed back her long black hair to let her bright cyan eyes look upon the metallic device resting in her right hand.

"Sasha?"

She thought aloud as the name scanned across the screen and then followed by it was a letter to her. For a moment she stared blankly at the screen as thoughts and memories surfaced her mind. Absently Feliciana touched the ring upon her finger and remembered the promise they had made to one another. Someday, they would be together...they would be together forever. With a slight smile laced with uncertainty, she pressed the receive button and the letter appeared before her. Every word he wrote was laced with pain and indeed, she could feel it though many parsecs separated them. Her eyes dropped now and then to meet the wood upon the desk she sat at. Finally she could take it no more and tears began to stream down her cheeks. Quietly she read the letter and quietly she sobbed to herself with everything that he said. How right he had been, she had made a mistake by leaving him....even if her life seemed quite wonderful at the moment. With a wave of her hand the letter disappeared from her sight as she recounted his words over and over again in her mind. Sighing heavily, the young Apprentice closed the thick book and pushed it away, then reached for a pen at the top of her desk. Taking the loose paper at her left side, she looked at it thoughtfully for a moment before placing the ink upon the parchment.

Dear Sasha,

It was good to hear from you, my love! I have been busy as well, though...it is not the same without you.

"Damnit!"

She cursed out of frustration and nearly broke the pen in half as she threw it onto the desk. The letter sounded all wrong already and she was tempted to throw it out, though her conscious told her not to. Sighing deeply, the woman lifted the pen into her hand and pressed it against the paper once again and continued.

I have a wonderful new home, though I am not allowed to tell you where. I am not even allowed to breath to you the name of the Order in which I have joined either, else I shall be punished by banishment or worse. Master Jeseth is a good Master and he is teaching me well. I have learned many new things on this journey here.

I must tell you that my path as a Sith was short for Jeseth is unable to train more than one Sith Apprentice at once, though since he is versed in the ways of the Dark Jedi, he took me on as a student of the ways of the Dark Jedi. It is interesting indeed, and very much like the Sith, though there are subtle differences.

She sighed and rubbed her temples with her free hand as her eyes scanned over the letter. It was awkward, writing to him. Never had she imagined having to do so....but she had made large sacrifices when joining The Krath. Once again her pen returned to the paper and she continued.

I wish I could be in your arms right now, Sasha. How I miss your strong embrace and your soothing words. We've been apart for so long and honestly, it's wearing upon my nerves. While training I cannot erase you from my mind. Though I wish I could deny my feelings and move on, I am unable. Master Jeseth knows not of our bond...and if he finds out, I fear he might hurt me.

Honestly, I am deeply afraid. I see what is happening to me now. I'm changing ever so slightly each day. I'm becomming more idealistic and they're trying to make me....your enemy. I shall not stand for it though. We are meant to be together, right? I just feel so alone...

Tears came streaming down her cheeks now and dripped upon the paper. She wiped them away with the back of her hand and then blotted them from the parchment before thinking of what to say next. With a few words in mind, she put her pen to the letter once again and continued on.

Writing this pains my heart, Sasha. Never did I think it would get this out of hand....and I am further from you than I thought I would be. I'm so sorry for all that's happened. I wish we could just run away, Sasha....though I know neither of our Masters would stand for such an act.

Suddenly a loud knock came at her door and someone called out her name. The woman's heart skipped a beat and she placed her pen to the paper once again to hurry her letter to an end.

I'm sorry this is short my love, but I must go...someone is here and they can't know I was writing to you. I love you so much...and I shall see you in my dreams.

Forever I'm Truly Yours,
Feliciana

She quickly scanned the letter so he too could at least see her handwriting, and then she clicked the send button. With a heavy sigh, she shut the face of the holo-imaging pad and opened her thick book again as the knocking persisted.

"Coming!"

With that, the woman made it to her door in time to meet her Master. She bowed and he called her forth for a meeting of sorts. With a sigh of relief, Fel shut the door behind her and obediently followed.

[SashaKovalev]

He hadnt thought he would hear back from her for quite some time. If at all. And to keep from driving himself crazy by checking his holopad every few moments, he had turned it off and stuffed it deep in the back of his closet. Beneath the piles of laundry he had yet to do. Eventually he would get to it, he supposed.

He had gone out that evening and walked in the gardens. Sleep would have been impossible anyway. Shenraun had not appeared, and in this, Sasha felt even more alone.

He knew he could knock on Gouyen’s door. He knew he could sleep on her couch with Robi nearby, but somehow, he just wasn’t ready to give in just yet. He wasn’t ready to admit how badly he was hurting. Not out loud at least. Not to anyone but himself. In writing the letter, he had admitted to himself that he could not live without Feliciana. She had become a part of him, and a heart that should have beat with blood as cold as ice, blood of a Sith, was instead tainted with….with the warmth of love.

It was a few days later before he finally got a chance to check his holopad. He had left on a quick trip, taking with him only his blaster, his lightsaber, and a light cloak for the trip.

But as soon as he returned, he knelt down by his closet and pulled from it all the clothes that covered the holopad. And then he turned it on. It blinked to indicate he had a message and his heart, for a moment, stopped beating in his broad chest.

As her handwriting appeared before him, he had to pause to catch his breath and he moved, without realizing it, to sit on his floor, leaning back against the edge of his bed in the bedroom that Feliciana would never see.

Her words were as stinted at first as his had been, but as he read on, he could feel her emotions, and his heart nearly broke in two. He read the letter over and over and over. And when he finally felt the strength to stand, he left his bedroom and moved out to the living area. It was on the balcony that overlooked the ocean down below that he began writing.

Dear Fel,

I try to picture your new home. But all I can see is you, and the look you used to give me when I came to visit you in yours here in the castle. I can still remember the first night that you moved in, and how scared you looked. I hope that your home there was not so scary on your first night. And I hope that your room overlooks some sort of garden as your old one did. Or, at the very least, I hope you have some sort of view that allows you to smile when you see it.

Im sitting on my balcony tonight to write to you. Yeah, Ive got a balcony now, can you believe it? If I listen hard enough, I can hear the waves on the shore. Or maybe Im only imagining it. Either way, its enough for me.

He sighed deeply, trying to keep the knots in his stomach from twisting further and further into tight little balls.

And then he set his pen back to the paper.

SO you’ve become a dark jedi…..I know something of them, for Ive run into Master Wargrave on occasion while searching for my Uncle. He has shown me the power of the dark jedi, and I do not doubt that the things you are learning are valuable. I understand some of the subtle differences that I know of, and they make sense. I still struggle to determine for myself which methods are the most effective.

I wont lie and tell you I hate the fact that I don’t know where you are, or what organization you belong to. But I trust you, and I trust that you know what you want for yourself.

For a moment, he stood and leaned over the balcony, breathing in the salty air as it gently blew in from the sea below. And then he sat down again to write.

I wish you could be in my arms right now, Fel. I cant believe how long its been, and despite this, I can still see your smile, feel your touch, and hear your voice. I almost wish I could forget it, for perhaps it would be easier. But I cannot, and if I did, I think I would only be lonelier. I wish we’d had more time together, Fel, before you had to leave. I regret now all the traveling that I did. If Id only known then what I know now, I would have lived every moment to its fullest potential with you. But now, its too late. At least, for now it is.

One day, Fel, promise me that one day we wont have to do this anymore.

He felt the first tear fall, and in anger, wiped it away. And then he stepped inside and shut the blinds to the balcony doors. Rather than manually lighting a fire, as he often preferred to do, he used the trick Malice had taught him, and released some of the pent up anger he held within him to start the warm glow. And then he took a seat on the couch and began to write once again.

Promise me you will not become my enemy, Fel. Promise me this. I am not your enemy and I never will be. I have yet to speak with Lady Vader of this, but I will, and I will find a way for you to be able to return here, if that ever is what you desire.

Do not be sorry for what has happened. Do not be sorry if this is what you need to do. But the moment, Fel, that you don’t feel what you are doing is right for you, please don’t try to become something that you are not. I struggle with that each day, wondering if I truly am a Sith at heart. And the struggle is a painful one, to be so at odds with your own code, and the code you pledge to follow.

I wouldnt wish it on anyone, particularly not the woman that I love.

Fel, Ive never really given any serious thought to who Id want to spend the rest of my life with, but I can tell you that its all Ive thought of since I met you. All Ive thought of since you left.

At some point, Fel, I don’t want to keep this a secret anymore. I want to live a normal life with you – by my side. I want to raise a family, and I want to be there for our children.

He realized, as he wrote, that he was expressing to her something much more than they had right now. What she wore on her finger was a promise. What he wanted to give her was the real thing.

I realize it might be quite some time before you’ll be in a position to do something like that. And Im willing to hang in there. Im willing to wait. Despite the fact that each day without you seems more lonely than the one before. Despite the fact that the pain of you being gone does not fade with time, but instead increases with my love for you.

He stared into the fire for a moment and then wrote one last thing.

I hate having to write these things to you. But I guess I should consider myself lucky that at least I have this. That in this small way, I have a piece of you with me.

I hope you sleep well at night, Fel. Know that as you go to sleep, Im thinking of you. Train hard, dark jedi. And one day, perhaps, we will be together once again.

I love you.
Always,
Sasha

There was so much more he wanted to say to her. But with each word upon the page, he found it harder and harder to maintain control over his emotions. And so he chose this moment to stop.

Without reading it again, for he had given much thought to his words as he’d written them, he scanned it in and sent it to her.

[Feliciana Devano]

It had been nearly a week since the young Dark Jedi Apprentice had sat down to study in her room. She had been training hard in the jungles surrounding the Citadel, and for that, she had no time to herself. Finally her Master decided it was time for a break and so he released her tired body to the Living Quarters once again where under twenty people occupied the rooms. Indeed, it was lonely belonging to an Order with so few members....none of which she was close to hardly save for Cherice St. Hilare.

Feliciana moved over to her windows and looked out over the vast jungles that surrounded the Base of The Krath. It was beautiful out there and she could see the crystal clear waters of a few of the many rivers that cut through the landscape. A smile crossed her features for a moment before she moved over to lay down upon her bed and rest. Her eyes shut momentarily and before long, she was out for what seemed like only a few minutes, but was really several hours.

Nothing could wake the tired Apprentice now until suddenly a beeping sounded from across the room upon the old wooden desk she used to study upon. Immediatly her eyes shot open and she caught her quick breath in time to look about and figure out what was making the noise. Her cyan eyes came to rest upon the holo-image pad on the desk and she rose from her bed to see what the message was. Rubbing her tired eyes, she sat down upon the old chair and took the silver device into her hands to see his name flash across the screen once again. Her heart stopped and she could barely breath. It had been a week and two days since the first letter from Sasha had arrived, and now, she had another one, though it was a few days old. Sighing, she pressed the receive button slowly and his letter appeared before her eyes.

With every intense word he formed a sentance...a firelike whip that tore at her soul and made her desire to be with him more and more each second. Truly she was love sick and hurting for him. Tears stung at her eyes as she put her hand through the letter as if somehow she would gain something tangible from it. But alas, the air was all that met her fingertips. The woman ran a hand through her hair as the tears slid down her cheeks and fell upon the wood of the desk. She read the letter again and repeated the words in her mind several times over until she could no longer take it. With a flip of her wrist, the holo-image pad went off and she reached for a pen and a piece of paper once again. Wiping the tears from the desk, she placed the paper before her and then set her pen to the parchment.

Dear Sasha,

Yes, my new home is quite lovely....my room is on the top floor as well and it overlooks the jungles surrounding the Base I am on. Clear streams run through it and I can almost see the fish jumping from the waters. It's breathtaking, but not nearly as much so as the view from your old room. I hope that you appreciate the view from your new one though...it sounds lovely.

I keep a picture of you by my bedside. The one of us up at the lake country on Naboo. It keeps me thinking of the happier times when we were together. I miss you more than life itself and indeed, I would give up my everything just to be in your arms at this very moment.

She set her pen down a minute to recall his words again in her mind. Another tear fell from her eye and she wiped it away briskly before lifting the writing utensil to the parchment once again.

I promise you we won't have to do this someday. Someday, we'll live like everyone else does and we'll be together. I promise I won't be your enemy, no matter what my Master or my Order says. They say my loyalty is to them first....I guess they won't know what hits 'em when they find out about you, 'eh?

At this she let out a bit of a happy giggle in her own attempt to lighten up her mood though what she was about to say was quite serious and life altering. A smile crossed her lips though she was worried about what the future held for her....she was scared but trusted Sasha with her life.

I seek to be with you forever, Sasha. I too want to live by your side and raise a family...be there for our children. I will make my way back to you soon, I promise. If I must run away for a short amount of time, I will. I would defy my Master and risk expulsion from here for our future. That's just scratching the tip of the iceburg when I am trying to express to you how important you are to me. You are my life, my love, and my future. I need to be with you....and yes, someday we shall marry. Someday we shall show them all and everything will be perfect. It will be something heavenly though for now, I can only see those times when I sleep....softly I drift through those days in my dreams.

Everday my pain grows worse and worse though my heart grows more fond of you. Our love is being tested now, Sasha, and we must be strong for one another. I won't be sorry for my decision anymore, if that is what you want. But I will keep what you said in mind. If I regret this, I shall return to The Sith Order, though I do not see that happening. This is where I belong, to train...but more so, in your arms is where I belong for all time.

She set the pen down and contemplated what to right next. Her weary eyes came to rest upon her previous words before she again touched the pen to the paper before her.

I will be at your side as you go to sleep and I shall kiss your lips sweetly and quietly, though you shall not be able to see me. Remember, just because I'm not visible to your eyes, does not mean I am not there. I am with you in heart...mind....and soul. Though sometime, I shall be standing before you again. Until that time, may your thoughts dwell upon me as much as mine shall upon you. You're my everything....and I miss you.

I love you, Sasha Kovalev....hold me close to your dreams.

Love Forever and Always,
Feliciana

Finally she set the pen down as tears glistened in her eyes. They cascaded down her cheeks a final time as she scanned the letter and hit the send button. Pushing the holo-image pad away from her, the young woman laid her head upon her desk and sobbed ever so quietly until she was so tired of crying, she fell asleep in that place.

[SashaKovalev]

It began to rain outside. Normally, it would not have bothered him, but he was not dressed appropriately for icy pellets that stung as they hit his face, nor was he dressed for the wind as it seemed to whip through the shirt he wore. He hadnt been to this planet before, and had not been aware of how quickly the weather patterns could change.

Teach me not to do my research, he thought as he ducked into the first pub that he found. It was dimly lit inside, but the fire was inviting. A man sat in the corner, playing an acoustic guitar, and humming softly along with it.

He stepped up to the bar, purchased a pint, and asked, as a favor from the barkeep, for a pen and a piece of paper. And then he took a seat in the back of the room near the fire and began to write.

Dear Fel,

I had to make a stopover on my way back to Corellia, Ive never been to this planet before, but only moments ago found myself walking across the park here. They call it the Common, I guess, and it was full of people walking home from work. Or couples here on vacation. I wasn’t sure why anyone would come here for vacation until I spotted a small pond in the middle of it all. People were ice skating there in the park.

They looked like they were having a pretty good time. And the skyline, I noticed, as I passed on, is beautiful here. I never much thought I’d care for a city as modern as this one, but I guess there are some things that you just begin to get used to, and once you’re used to it, you begin to understand and appreciate it. Kind of like our time apart now.

Its not any easier, but slowly, I think I am beginning to move beyond anger and getting to a place within me where I can fully understand why you need to do what you’re doing. And while our time apart is not exactly the way I would have wanted things to be, I appreciate how strong it is beginning to make our relationship.

He had placed his pen down for a moment to take a sip of his beer when a woman approached him.

“Would you like to dance?” She asked. He hadnt even noticed the music since he’d entered. He hadnt noticed her, he hadnt noticed much of anything around him, he’d been so intent in his writing.

His face paled as he heard the question. And he might have shaken his head in response. Moments later, he couldn’t really remember. Perhaps in his reaction he had used the force, and she had walked away, either out of discomfort, or him willing her to forget she had even asked.

I neglected to mention before that Im writing right now in a tavern. It began to rain, and it was cold out, so I ducked inside. A woman just asked me to dance, and I cant recall how I answered her, for as soon as she asked, I found myself holding you in my arms. Remember? We’ve only had one chance to dance together – when you came home with me to go to my friend’s wedding.

Although it meant something to me at the time, for some reason, now that I don’t have the opportunity, it means even more.

For a moment, he smiled at the memory, and then he continued writing.

Anyway….Ive been saving up my money. I was going to put it towards buying my own ship…you know how badly Ive been wanting one. But…maybe I’ll put it towards buying land somewhere. So…you know, when we’re ready we can at least have a place to escape to….

For Sasha to offer this was a very big concession. He had been dreaming of owning his own ship since he’d first learned of their existence. But priorities changed over time, and clearly, Feliciana had a maturing effect on him. He was head over heels, it was clear, if he was going to give up buying a ship to put a down payment on property.

Any place you’d want in particular…? I was thinking downtown Mos Eisley would be great,,,

It was an attempt at humor, but as he stared at the words, just words on paper, he hoped she knew him well enough to know that the last place he would consider would be the bustling, crime infested settlement on a backward, sandstorm ridden planet.

He sighed.

I guess I ought to get going. It sounds like the rain has stopped, and the crowd here is changing from the dinner crowd to the late night revelers. Although I’d normally include myself in that kind of thing, Im rather anxious to get back to the ship so I can scan this in to send to you.

I hope that all is well. Im trying, as you suggested to know that even though I cant see you, you are here with me. I know its true, but its still hard. I prefer the real thing.

But good things come to those who wait, right….? I hope they, whoever ‘they’ is, are not lying about that. If they are, they’ve got another thing coming when I figure out where to find them….

I love you, even if you are a dark jedi.
Always,
Sasha

[Feliciana Devano]

Several days had passed since Feliciana had sent Sasha the letter. Her mind was set on training, though he was always on her thoughts. She was working hard to make herself a good Dark Jedi and also to please her Master. It was a sunny day and the young woman sat in a large tree with hanging branches, looking out over the rivers in the jungle. She sighed to herself and from the folds of her black robes, she pulled a silver device: her holo-image pad. A smile crossed her lips as she saw the little flashing light at the top and when she pressed the receive button, Sasha's name flashed across the screen. This brought a smile to her lips as she began reading his message.

She couldn't help but read the words over and over and over again in her mind. It was heartwarming and beyond touching. Her heart ached for all that he had said to her in this letter and she knew that she had to see him soon. Wiping a few stray tears from her eyes, she sighed and took out a piece of paper from the journal that she now carried with her. A pen from inside one of the leather pouches on her weapons belt also came and to the parchment it went. Somehow, though....the thoughts seemed to stop there for she was truthfully at a loss for words, she knew not what to say now. There was too much jumbled up in her mind that she knew would come out a mess on paper, but she had to give it a try.

Dear Sasha,

The place you're in sounds interesting...and depsite its strange appearance, it sounds lovely as well. I wish that could be us skating together in the park.

She sighed and looked out over the running water in the streams surrounding her quiet place of solitude. This was such a different life now and indeed, she did at times miss what she had. Coming back to her thoughts and senses, the young woman put her pen to the paper once again and continued writing.

You turned away a woman who asked you to dance? Though a small act, you don't know what that means to me. To know that I'm heavily on your thoughts like that is more than I could have ever asked for. You too are on my mind even whiie training. It's not throwing me off though...you bring me luck, if you'd call it that.

Training hasn't been easy....I have a deep gash upon my right calf. It went all the way to the bone, but it's healing nicely. Master Jeseth gave that one to me with his saber. Guess I deserved it though. I have others, but they combined do not pain me as much as my wounded heart. I need you so desperatly, Sasha....I cry at night as I try to go to sleep.

I toss and turn for your in my dreams. I worry about you when those dreams are bad. But I smile when I live a wonderful one. I hope you've been doing well, for I had a night terror several days ago that told me you were in danger. I know you can take care of yourself though...it would be nice to see you and know that for sure.

She paused in her thoughts and looked out again over the vast land surrounding her. The only sounds present were the cooings of birds and the faint chirping of cricket-like creatures. A sigh escaped her lips as she looked down at the paper once again and put the pen to it.

And why would you put aside your dreams for me? You've always wanted a ship, Sasha...you've more than earned it. I...I honestly have no words for that for it's a big sacrifice on your part and I feel as though I'm taking something from you. I hope that you really want this land...I'd have a hard time thinking that you would only by it for my sake.

Mos Eisley? I laughed when I read that. You have a way to show your humor even through paper. How about the outskirts of...Tatooine? They say it's nice and sand ridden there! Yes, I am only kidding. All joking aside though....perhaps the place we stayed on Naboo? That was so beautiful and I honestly can't think of a place more secluded and placid than that. I know that there was property up there...as well as furbished homes. It's your choice though, I am not even asking you to do this.

"But I know he will...." she said outloud to herself and closed her eyes a moment, leaning back as she did so. This was such a trying time, but to know that he was planning his future around her made her know that all would work out in the end....it would have to. She smiled to herself and put the pen to paper once again.

I'm trying to plan a leave of absence from my training at least for a few days so that I might come and see you. I need to....it's been nearly a month, Sasha and honestly....I think I've lost part of my sanity. I've learned how to control my anger, and use it for other purposes...but sometimes I'm angry at myself for being this way....for knowing that I could not stay at The Sith Order.

If we were to meet, is there any way that I could come to Corellia again? If not, maybe we should meet somewhere else...like Coruscant. In any case....as long as I can see your face, that's all that matters.

I must be going now....I'm sitting atop a very large tree in the middle of the beautiful jungles where deep clear rivers cut through the solid earth. I must configure a way to get down! I love you Sasha.....you'll be in my heart and on my thoughts.

Yours forever and always, even if you are a Sith,
Feliciana


With that, she scanned the paper and then pressed the send button. Tucking the device inside her robes, she carefully began her decent down the very tall tree. Nearly a half hour later, the young Dark Jedi made her way to the ground and began her way back to the Living Quarters.

[SashaKovalev]

It was difficult to go back there, to Naboo where he had spent some time alone with Fel. Time alone before everything had come crashing down upon them. Before time and distance had been sent as a curse to torture both of them for years and years to come.

He trekked though the lush valleys until he found the small village. This was where they had stayed, and this, he thought, was where they belonged. He’d remembered seeing something in one of the windows of one of the shops about land. And there he saw it still.

He gazed at the description on the paper hung there, and smiled slightly. And then he turned and began the rather long walk out to the property. He wanted to do this alone, without anyone near him to cloud his thoughts. He wanted to see it for himself to know if it was what he wanted.

When he finally arrived there, he sat down beneath a tree and began to write.

Dear Fel,

You’d never guess where I am right now. Well, maybe you would if you thought hard enough. Its not a place I go to often. In fact, I’ve only been here once before with a certain dark jedi….

It wasn’t easy to come back alone, but I knew it was something that I had to do. Im sitting right now beneath a tree on what could someday, maybe, be our land. Im still thinking about it, trying to be sure everything about it feels right before I commit. When I do, if I do, I will do it not just for you, Fel, but for us.

Im trying to look at this in terms of a future. Though, sometimes, ,its difficult. I spoke with Lady Vader about us. She didn’t forbid me to see you, but I well understand that it is not something she would support or be altogether happy with. She has given me quite a bit to think about, and her words, you know, I do not take lightly. She is a wise woman, and I would be a fool not to give the things she tells me any sort of consideration.

In the end, I know, and she knows, that I must do what is right for me. I only hope that when I do, I will have made the right decision. And that you, too, will have done what is right for you.

I’m concerned about your training. I know you told me before that you wanted to work on your skills with a saber, and while it sounds as if that is what you are doing, it doesn’t make me happy to hear that your master has inflicted such wounds. I know its part of training, and Ive been through it myself, but it doesn’t make it any easier to hear when you’re so far away. Im not saying not to tell me about it but….

He sighed deeply, remembering her words about crying at night.

I worry about you, Fel. You should not be spending your nights in tears. Know always that Im thinking of you, and that while I cant be there with you, one day, I will be. If you can get away for a short time, I would love to see you. Perhaps some time together will help to remind you that I am always there. Though, leaving a second time when you must return will be no easier than the first time. I hope you understand this

You were right, I think, to have worried the other night in your dreams. I was ambushed during a confrontation with a jedi, and spent a couple nights trekking across the desert of Tatooine. That is why this response to you has been so delayed. I needed some time to get back to Corellia to recover, but Im fine. Don’t worry about me, dark jedi, Ive got the dark side looking out for me…worry about yourself instead, and progressing enough that you might finally be given a bit of time away.

And while doing all of this, do not be angry at yourself for not being able to remain with the order. Be instead happy that you know yourself well enough to know what is right for you, and use those convictions to motivate you in your training.

I would not suggest returning to Corellia to see me, just yet. If your master does not know of us, he will certainly question your return here, and perhaps your loyalty to this group you’ve joined. I should not like to be the cause of another painful gash in your calf, or worse. I wouldn’t want anything to be the cause of that, actually.

But, if you can get away, while I despise Coruscant, it might be the safest choice. And really, I only care about seeing you, anyway. Just let me know when you might be there and I’ll find a way to meet up with you, I promise.

Always,
Sasha

When he’d finished the letter, he tucked the folded piece of paper back into a pocket to send when he returned to the ship he’d borrowed from the order, and then continued to walk the land. Everything about it felt right to him, with the exception of one thing. One very important thing. The woman who was supposed to be there to share it with him.

With a deep sigh, staring off into the hills and valleys, he turned and walked back towards the road that would lead back into the small town area. He would inquire about the land, but today would not be the day he made a commitment.

There was one thing, one very important thing that he needed to do first, for he would never return here again, not without her by his side.

[Feliciana Devano]

Somehow, Feliciana found some free time for herself and decided it was time to spend it catching up on everything she'd missed, such as any letters from Sasha. It had been days since she had sent her letter to him and when she retrieved the silver messanging device from a drawer in her desk, she smiled to see the little red light flashing. After pressing the receive button, her love's name crossed the screen and the date as well. He had just sent the message but several hours ago. Her heart skipped a beat that she had caught him this close in time for once. Smiling to herself, she read the letter quietly and nearly shed a tear with every word that he said. Quickly reaching for a pen and a piece of paper, she wrote a quick message.

Dear Sasha,

Please stay where you are! I have been allowed some time off and I need to see you, and since you're on Naboo looking at property, I want to be there with you. I am going to be flying out on a local transport in ten minutes, okay? I just hope that you get this in time. I shall remember all that you have said and we will talk once I am in your arms again. I love you so much, and I will be thinking of you on my short journey to Naboo.

With all that I am,
Feliciana

Her heart swelled as she quickly scanned the letter and sent it to Sasha. Then with a quick coordinate check on her data-pad, she found out that indeed, he had not left his location yet. Flying about her room, the Dark Jedi gathered a few basic things and threw them into a bag before checking herself out in the mirror and running out the door. She seemed to soar down the halls of the Living Quarters before she reached the adjacent Space Port. After fighting with the crowds, the young woman was borded on a carrier bound for Naboo. Only three other people were taking that particular flight and it made things nice for her to concentrate on meditating to pass the time.

I shall be there soon, my love....

She thought to herself and pushed back her long black hair. The woman's black robes gently clung to her and accentuated her slender figure. Indeed, in the time she had been away from Sasha, she had changed a bit....her arms were a lot more muscular than before and physically she had gained strength. Her mental stamina was far superior to what she used to possess, and overall her confidence was raised by at least one hundred percent. Her cyan eyes shut ever so slightly and in no time, the flight jolted forward, signalling to those abord that they had landed. Awaking from her shallow sleep, she rose from her seat and stretched, then grabbed her bag and ran off the ship.

"Now to find him......"

Feliciana's thought outloud as her eyes wandered about. Perhaps he had gone elsewhere and docked, she was not sure. Sighing, the young woman thought it best to catch a quick two minute hyperflight up to the place they had stayed....perhaps he was around there.

Come on Sasha, I know you're here.....

[SashaKovalev]

He had caught her message just after he had taken off. And so he had turned right back around and returned.

His message that he sent to her was delayed, he knew, until he was close enough to reach a god signal to send it.

Meet me at the B&B

And as soon as his ship was docked again, he too caught the short hyperflight out to the outskirts of the countryside space station.

He wasnt sure if she'd get his response or not, but he had a feeling that she would be smart enough to know where to look for him. He couldnt believe that she was going to be there - in his arms once again. And he didnt truly dare to believe it until he actually saw her.

His heart pouded loudly in his chest. And it was then that he saw her. She hadnt yet made it to the B&B, but was walking down the streets. She seemed slightly out of place in her robes, and she looked as if she might have lost weight. Instantly he frowed, concerned for her.

He jogged lightly until he caught up with her. He was sure she would feel his presence, and if she didnt, he was sure he'd end up with a good right hook or worse as she turned to teach him a lesson for sneaking up on her.

"I didnt know such good looking women lived out here..." He commented as he came up behind her. His violet eyes sparkled with a happiness that could only shine in them in her presence.

[Feliciana Devano]

Feliciana had received Sasha's message and when she landed, she immediatly began walking toward the B&B. The wind caught up her robes and blew them around her and her black hair did the same. An irreplacable smile lit up her red lips as she continued on until she felt his presence close to her. Suddenly the voice which she had so desperatly longed to hear for the last month and a half rang ever so beautifully in her ears. With a grin spreading across her lips, she turned around and set her cyan eyes upon his face.

"I don't live out here.....yet."

She continued smiling as she felt a surge of emotion rush over her. Immediatly her eyes filled with tears as she looked upon her beloved. And instantaneously, she moved forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck....so tightly in fact, that she forgot to let him breath.

"I have missed you so incredibly much, Sasha.....I love you, I love you so much....."

Pulling away, she leaned in and kissed him several times, giggling happily as tears streamed down her cheeks and collected below her chin. She couldn't believe the overwhelming feeling she had. It was as if life itself had been restored back to her body as she was enveloped by his mere presence. It was the most incredible thing she had felt in a long time, and the distance that had separated them, did so no more.

[SashaKovalev]

As she turned to face him, his breath caught. A single glance from her had stolen his ability to breathe.

I dont live out here....yet.

He had chuckled at this, and moved, as she did to embrace. Her arms wound tightly around his neck, and his strong arms pulled her yet closer to him, never wanting to her go again.

Suddenly all of the waiting made sense to him. Suddenly, he knew again why he could not, would not ever desire another. Not that he had questioned it in her absence, but it was difficult to be so far from her - both mentally and physically.

"Ive missed you to, Fel. God how Ive missed you." He replied, feeling his voice catch in his throat as he spoke. His hand came to trace her face, brushing away her tears with a kiss before he pulled her to him, kissing her with all of the emotion and passion that he had kept buried within him in her absence.

In the middle of the street they stood, passersby assuming they had to be honeymooners.

When they pulled away, he looked to her, a smile on his face, yet there was more there. There was a sadness that lingered for a moment, born of the pain endured by their time apart. He released a haggard breath and pulled her close to him again.

"I cant believe you're here." He stated, and then finally, he allowed himself to laugh, unable to contain the excitement of having her near him once again.

He pulled back, not distentagling himself from her, but just enough to look into her eyes.

"You look tired." He stated quietly.

"Beautiful..." He added quickly and with sincerity, "But tired."

[Feliciana Devano]

Feliciana smiled and nodded slightly.

"I can't believe I'm back either...it's incredible and I can't bring myself to look away from your eyes."

She continued smiling but then sighed as he commented about how tired she looked. Indeed, it had been some time since she'd slept and her training was extremely rigerous. Jeseth was a great Master, but he expected...no demanded the best and more of her.

"I've been working really hard lately...I'll be okay, just need some sleep. I have a whole week off of training now because Master Jeseth is attending a conference of sorts."

Fel gently touched his face with her hand and smiled as she traced his jawline with her fingertips.

"How I've missed you Sasha....and my health will be restored soon. So, what is the plan?"

Giggling gently, she placed her hands behind his neck once again and looked deeply into the eyes she had so longed after....something she had not done in such a long time.

[SashaKovalev]

I've been working really hard lately...I'll be okay, just need some sleep. I have a whole week off of training now because Master Jeseth is attending a conference of sorts.

He nodded at this, accepting it, but not at all happy with it. He didn’t like seeing her look so worn out. It only added to the concern he already had about her having left to join this…group. The group that he was not allowed to know the name of. Anger had surfaced briefly with this thought until her fingertips had traced his jawline.

Anger melted away, only to be replaced by desire. It had been so long since they had last been together.

How I've missed you Sasha....and my health will be restored soon. So, what is the plan?

He couldn’t help but smile as she giggled and wrapped her arms a bit tighter around him. Her eyes stared into his. She could have asked for anything she wanted at that moment and he would have given it to her.

“How long do I have you for…?” He countered, for this would make all the difference. There were so many things he wanted to fit into their time together, but he would have settled for only one of them if he had to – so long as it meant he would be with her.

[Feliciana Devano]

Fel smiled gently as he asked the question. It was perhaps not as long as they would have liked, but it was all she could get away from right now.

"You have me for a week and three days....a week and a half, basically. I know it will never be enough time, but it's all I have right now."

She said softly, gently tracing her fingers along his jawline. It was so good to be back in his arms now...and she was loving every second of it, even if she could only see him for a day.

"What do you have in mind for our plans for this time together? I can think of a few things...but tell me your ideas first."

Her eyes lit up and no longer did she appear worn and tired as before. There was something about Sasha that made her seem alive again...indeed, he did.

[SashaKovalev]

A week and three days....it was longer than he had dared to hope for, and laughing, he lifted her off her feet, swinging her with him in a circle. And then placing her back on her feet, her hand firmly in his, he tugged her gently toward the outskirts of town.

And then he finally answered her question.

“The first thing Im going to do is to take you out to the property I was just looking at.” He replied easily.

“And the rest is a surprise…” He added, his violet eyes sparkling with a mixture of excitement and mischief.

“So…whats it really like?” He asked her. She had told him of her life in their letters to each other, but even on screen her words had seemed guarded. Now they were free to speak freely, and he wanted to know the truth. She owed him that much, he believed.

[Feliciana Devano]

Feliciana giggled to herself as Sasha playfully took her hand and led her to the outskirts of the small town. At the mention of seeing the property, her heart fluttered in her chest and she smiled broadly.

"I bet it's beautiful...."

She whispered softly as her eyes enveloped his. A laugh escaped her lips when he told her that everything else they were to do was a secret...it sounded interesting, but she did not want to ruin it by asking for clues...not even one as she usually would have. His question, though...made her think and perhaps, worry a bit, but she knew she could trust him. Moving along with Sasha as they walked, the young woman gathered her thoughts before speaking.

"Truthfully....it isn't wonderful like I said. The city we are in reminds me of Coruscant, just sized down to fit into a cardboard box. Everything is so tight and busy all the time, not to mention that the Order itself only has a few members so far. We aren't like a family.....not like where I came from. My Master is strict and he uses a lot of physical ways to get his point across....he is very good to me, though...I appreciate all he has done."

Her words were sincere and everything she said was the truth. Playfully she punched him and grinned.

"How about you? Meet any new girls at the Order?"

Winking, they continued walking on toward the property.

[SashaKovalev]

He listened to her words and without even trying to search her feelings, he knew that she spoke the truth. This was a relief to him. Had she not been honest, he would have had doubts, perhaps. But that she spoke freely and trusted him with what she told him, only served to make him more sure that he was doing the right thing. That everything between them was meant to be despite how difficult things were now.

He could hear the teasing tone in her voice as she asked him about meeting any girls at the order. And it suddenly occurred to him that…well that she might have met someone there where she was. He clenched his teeth for a moment as if to will back the sickening feeling that rose briefly in his stomach. He almost didn’t want to ask her in return.

He shook his head.

“Meet anyone?” He rolled his eyes. “Im not exactly looking.” He added. His hand gently squeezed hers.

“You don’t need to worry about that.”

He sighed softly.

“I spend a lot of time with an apprentice of mine, and she’s….well, she’s distracting.” He admitted. He knew it probably wasn’t the best idea, but he wanted to be completely honest with Fel. It was the only way things between them would work when so many other aspects of their lives could never be discussed – such as the Krath.

He could see the expression on Fel’s face, perhaps a hint of tension and quickly sought to explain better.

“Distracting because being with her often makes me think of you. I miss how easy it was having you live across the hall. Getting to see you all the time…” His eyes shifted from her to the ground for a moment, and then back.

“I just…I miss this. I miss being with you.” He added.

He stopped for a moment, turning Fel to face him.

“But that’s it. Theres nothing more to it, there will never be anything more to it. I don’t want anyone but you. And it <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont>ing tears my heart out that the one thing I want I cant have.”

He released a ragged breath.

“At least…most of the time I cant. Except when you take a vacation…”

He didnt want to upset her. That was the last thing he wanted. And for a moment, he was sorry that he had said anything at all. Except that he knew he never wanted to hide anything from her, and to be able to speak this honestly with her, if she was able to hear what he was really saying - that he loved her so much that it constantly hurt - would only put them in a better position to grow stronger together.

[Feliciana Devano]

“I spend a lot of time with an apprentice of mine, and she’s….well, she’s distracting.”

Feliciana paused at the words, not expecting to hear them. A hard lump formed at the back of her throat and her heart seemed to ache for Sasha even more so than when she was away from him. The young Dark Jedi's eyes fell to the ground and she sighed, thinking about what he was saying to her. Seemingly, though, he quickly made an excuse for it and she knew not what to think. Sighing to herself again, Feliciana barly looked up at the Sith Knight.

"I haven't looked at a man since I met you...did you know that?"

She said as tears stung at her eyes. Immediatly she looked down at the ring on her finger and let a few of the icy drops fall down her cheeks. 'How could he allow that?' she asked herself in her mind, trying to shake off all the doubt that had risen within her at that very moment. It had been a harmless joke....now she was facing a reality that was killing her inside. The picture of him spending time with another woman...someone but her and having thoughts about that person...they made her angry deep within her heart. Forcing the rest of the built up tears away, she looked up at him and just stared into his eyes.

"Guess it's just something we'll have to fix or ignore. Really, Sasha, if this isn't going to work out.....say something....I don't want to be holding you back from greater opportunitites."

The last words were spoken a bit curtly and the young woman continued walking then out to the sight which she hoped perhaps, they would build their home on and live together....starting a family together in. Now he was putting doubt into her mind about his faithfulness....and how she wished to just ignore it. Feeling badly for walking away from the man she loved, Feliciana stopped in her tracks and looked out over the horizon, allowing her tears to flow freely now.

"You know....I've been waiting for this moment for a while? I wanted everything to be perfect...I wanted to share with you how I've missed you and I wanted you to feel that same. I didn't want to question your faithfulness....I thought we were old enough to handle something like that."

She stated as a contorted look of misunderstanding appeared upon her face and deeply within her cyan eyes. Her arms crossed over her chest as she looked down again, trying to understand this....trying to figure out why it had meant so much to her. She had neglected to hear everything else he said all because of a few little words....she hoped that this would not be the end of them....she loved him so dearly, but this hurt and he would need to show her wrong so that she would feel comfortable about it once again.

[SashaKovalev]

She didn’t look at him, and this bothered him more than if she’d set her cyan eyes upon him with the most evil of glares.

I haven't looked at a man since I met you...did you know that?

He opened his mouth to respond, then thought better of it. Instead his expression might have appeared slightly chastened. As the tears came to her eyes, he noticed her cast a glance at her finger, the finger with the ring on it that he had given to her as a promise of their future together.

Guess it's just something we'll have to fix or ignore. Really, Sasha, if this isn't going to work out.....say something....I don't want to be holding you back from greater opportunities.

And then she had walked off, stopping in her tracks a few feet away, tears streaming down her face. He realized in a heartbeat that he had been stupid to say anything. Zatania, his apprentice meant nothing to him. The hours spent working with her, training her – they were simply that – a distraction for him from the pain inside at missing Fel.

You know....I've been waiting for this moment for a while? I wanted everything to be perfect...I wanted to share with you how I've missed you and I wanted you to feel that same. I didn't want to question your faithfulness....I thought we were old enough to handle something like that.

His hands clenched and unclenched at his side. His face echoed the pain she was feeling and without hesitation, he closed the distance between them.

Her arms were crossed over her chest, her defensive stance making it difficult to do what he most wanted to do – to take her into his arms and tell her that there was no other – would never be another - ever.

Instead he held a hand out, his violet eyes pleading with her to place her hand in his.

“I’m sorry.” He stated, his voice sincere.

“I wanted this to be perfect, too.” He added, fighting back the husky tone that indicated the emotions he was fighting to keep in check.

“You’re being away hurts me so much that I forget sometimes, how much it hurts you, too. No one else means anything to me, Fel. No one means anything to me but you. And Im an idiot for saying or doing anything that would ever make you believe otherwise.”

His violet eyes continued to plead with her.

“And if you come with me, I’ll prove it to you.” He added.

[Feliciana Devano]

Feliciana denied her eyes to meet Sasha's as he came to stand before her, outstretching a hand. A sigh fell upon her heart inwardly as she looked down at his palm -- face up and ready to accept her. She fought back the tears to follow the ones that just fell, but it was no use and they trickled down the soft skin of her cheeks. His words were full of feeling and she could put that from her mind. Everything he told her was the truth and something deep within her told her that -- it forced her to believe even if her mind did not agree with her heart. Without hesitation, the young woman gently pushed his arm away and looked up into his eyes. Her cyan eyes softened and became the calm sea of love that they once were so long ago. The tired look seemed to nearly vanish from her appearance all at once in that very moment. Suddenly she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly. It was almost as if she had not touched him in years for the strength of the embrace as well as the amount of love evident within her amounted to something no one could fathom.

"I'm sorry for being so stupid and for ever doubting you. I will go with you -- I love you and I believe what you have told me."

She pulled away just slightly and kissed him passionatly as she had at times in the past. It was an incredible moment but it was what made her realize that everything would work out and they would be together -- no matter what. She pulled away after another embrace and slinked her fingers down his arm to find his hand once again before lacing them through his own fingers. She smiled to herself and awaited his lead.

"I shall follow wherever you take me."

The words were sincere and spoken with great confidence. Indeed, she was in it for the long haul, and the look in her eyes said that without speaking a word at all.

[SashaKovalev]

As she pushed his arm away he feared the worst – that she would refuse him.

Instead, her cyan eyes had softened and gazed into his – filled with the expression he had seen what seemed to be forever ago – before they had gotten themselves involved int the mess of being from two different followings of the force.

As she suddenly wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly he felt all that had been concerning him wash away from his body. It was as if the tide had come in and then left, taking with it the troubles of only moments ago.

He held her tightly to him, burying his face in her hair until he felt her pull away from him.

I'm sorry for being so stupid and for ever doubting you. I will go with you -- I love you and I believe what you have told me.

As she tried to apologize, he lowered his lips to hers, refusing to hear the words. She had nothing to apologize for. He had some growing up to do – he had to learn to be stronger and to trust in her – in them.

Their kiss was like their first one all over again. Everything about it was new and exciting and in that kiss, he found all of the answers he had ever searched for. Feliciana was his, and he was hers. And this simple fact would never change. They would argue, they would doubt each other from time to time. They would struggle with the fact that they were now from two different worlds. But they would never, ever, be able to sever the bond between them. The bond born of love and passion and everything that was right about loving someone more than you could love anyone else - ever.

When she pulled away again and slinked her fingers down his arm to find his hand, he found himself staring at her. She was stunning. Everything about her seemed aglow and he found his breath leave him. He knew it. He knew in this moment exactly what he was meant to do.

I shall follow wherever you take me.

His violet eyes stared into hers. He was suddenly nervous. This wasn’t something he had ever done before. It wasn’t the way he had carefully planned it all out in his mind. But it was right. It felt right. And that was all that he needed.

He inhaled a shallow breath, trying to calm the pounding of his heart. He led her a few more footsteps, to be just over the edge of the property he hoped to one day be able to call home – their home. With his free hand, he reached into the jacket that he wore, fumbling for a moment in one of the internal pockets. He had kept it there, not knowing what other place could be safer than with him – so that if something happened to him, a piece of her – or what intended to be hers, would be with him. He held the small box in his hand, gripping it tightly as if it could offer some sort of security – as if it could tell him what her answer would be.

And then he sank to one knee, his eyes never leaving hers. Her hand he still held in his.

“And what if I wanted to take you to be my wife….” He began, his voice very serious as he spoke.

“Would you follow me then?” He asked.

[Feliciana Devano]

Feliciana followed after Sasha as he lead her further out until now they were standing atop the cliffs edge overlooking the property that he had looked at. Somehow, she knew that this was it -- this was the place she wished to reside -- with him. A smile crossed her cherry lips as her cyan eyes took it all in. It was incredible and so beautiful, it took her breath away. Just as she was about to turn and whisper something to him about it, Sasha fell to one knee before her with a small box in his hand. Her eyes widened slightly as she now turned to face him completely, allowing her eyes to only rest upon his face -- no where else could they move.

“And what if I wanted to take you to be my wife….”

The words seemed to flow so smootly from his mind to his lips. This caused Fel's heart to stop and she could barely get over the incredible surge within her soul. It was the most incredible feeling she had ever had -- perhaps it was the feeling of absolute fright, or -- the feeling one gets when embarking on a journey into the unknown. It was the latter, to her as her eyes locked with the man she loved so deeply.

“Would you follow me then?”

Her jaw just dropped and stayed there as he spoke. Joy swelled within her chest and tears stung at the back of her eyelids. She couldn't help but smile as she suddenly squeezed his hand and nodded in the silence of the valleys, mountains, rivers, streams and falls surrounding them.

" -- Yes Sasha -- I would follow you then."

Happy tears flooded the young woman's eyes and then streamed down her cheeks as she too fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around Sasha's neck. The embrace was like no other as she held him tightly there in that moment. Pulling away just enough to look into his eyes, she leaned in and kissed the love of her life ever so passionatly -- the kiss that spoke all of the words that she could never say or express through Basic. It was the most incredible and joyful moment of her life.

[SashaKovalev]

-- Yes Sasha -- I would follow you then.

The time between his question and her response had seemed like an eternity to him.

As tears began to stream down her face, they were matched by one of two that might have escaped from his eyes as well. There had been distractions along the way, but always he had known in his heart that Feliciana was the woman he wanted to spend his life with.

She was everything he ever could have imagined a best friend and lover to be. And he didn’t have the words to tell her this beyond the question he had just asked. He loved her beyond any other suitable expression, and would have done anything to protect her from harm. He wanted to give her everything. And somehow, he would find a way to do it – to give her everything and anything she wanted. Her happiness was what ultimately made him happy.

As they kissed, they settled into the soft grass on what would someday become their property. The grasses grew tall above them and they were allowed the privacy of this moment.

When they finally pulled away, Sasha looked to the woman that he loved.

“Are you going to put it on?” He asked, perhaps a bit shyly as he held the box out to her.

He had selected the ring with some help from a female friend of his. And while he was pretty sure Fel would like it, he couldn’t help but be a little nervous about it. The cost of it wold set him back quite some time now before he was able to buy his own ship, but if she liked it – her expression alone would be enough to make it all worth it.

[Feliciana Devano]

Feliciana's heart swelled with joy as Sasha kissed her and they fell into the tall grasses of what would be their property someday. She kissed him deeply, reinforching what she could not express with words. They pulled apart and she sat up, giggling slightly as he held a small black box out to her. The young woman's eyes widened as she took it in her hands and looked up at Sasha. Slowly one hand went to the lid and pulled it back slowly until the ring was reflecting light back into her eyes. She gasped and her jaw dropped open as her cyan eyes came to rest upon an incredible sight. A silver band rested upon the black velvet with three shining diamonds on each side of one large heart shaped diamond all set within the silver save for the heart which stood off of the silver band. Another gasp escaped her lips as she slowly removed the ring from its box and held it between two fingers.

"Oh Sasha -- it's -- it's so beautiful. You didn't have to do this for me -- oh my lord."

She leaned over and kissed him deeply once again before placing the ring in his hand and folding his hand around it.

"I want you to put it on me -- please."

The words were but a whisper as more tears streamed down her soft cheeks. She smiled and reflected the happiness that was in her heart at the moment. Nothing could tear them apart -- they had survived the test of time and finally they would be together forever.

[SashaKovalev]

He hadnt realized he was holding his breath waiting for her to open it until he released it in relief.

It hadnt been just the things she had said - it had been the expression on her face – the utter amazement in her eyes.

But she still hadnt put it on.

She had instead placed it in his hand. At that moment, he had been afraid she was going to tell him she couldn’t do it. But instead she had whispered to him, tears streaming down her face – that he place it upon her finger.

It didn’t take any more than that. He was trembling just a bit as he held the ring between his fingers. His eyes met hers and refused to leave the cyan depths as he slipped it on her finger. It slid on, fitting perfectly as he had hoped it would, as he had imagined.

And then he pulled her into his arms, kissing her and allowing himself to be lost in the moment. It had been difficult – it would still be difficult – for they had many obstacles still to overcome, but they would make it. He had no doubt that they would make it.

As they pulled away, both of them stared down at her hand, seeming to be a bit in awe of the promise they had just made to one another, and the glitter of the ring that symbolized not only to them, but to everyone else, they had had made a commitment to one another.

A commitment not to be taken lightly.

And then he pulled her back down into the tall grasses, allowing her his body as a cushion.

“I had a big elaborate plan….” He stated, his hand coming to grip hers as it rested on his chest. His eyes flickered to the ring and he gave a silent thank you to Dae for all of her help. It was perfect. And then they looked back to Fel.

“But I just couldn’t wait…” He added.

“I didn’t want another moment to go by without you knowing how much you mean to me.”

[Feliciana Devano]

The joy of the moment made Fel's heart skip several beats as she looked deeply into the eyes of the man she would marry someday soon, she hoped. As he fell back and took her with him, a giggle escaped the young woman's lips as he spoke. It was all too good to be true, but this was Sasha, and with him -- everything was possible.

"It was the perfect moment -- it is the perfect moment, Sasha. Thank you for loving me -- you are my life, and I love you so much."

She bent her neck down slightly and kissed him, expressing the words she could not merely say. Pulling away after a moment, the young woman rolled over slightly and reached into the inner pocket of her robes and into her hand she too pulled a little black box. It was nothing big, but it was something, and so she placed it on Sasha's chest with a coy grin on her face.

"I wanted to give this to you as well, but it seems as though you asked before I did."

A giggle escaped her lips as she thought of the silver band with their names engraved on the underside and the word "Forever" on the outside. She hoped that he would like it -- and wear it as a symbol of their committment.

"I love you Sasha Kovalev -- you mean the universe and much more to me."

[SashaKovalev]

It was the perfect moment -- it is the perfect moment, Sasha. Thank you for loving me -- you are my life, and I love you so much.

A broad grin spread across his face. Here, together, they were themselves – they werent sith, or dark jedi or anything else that the galaxy dictated they be. Here in the grasses of the property they hoped to buy, they were simply two kids who were deeply in love.

As she began searching through he robes, he had been about to ask if everything was ok – until she’d set a small black box upon his chest. His eyes questioned her, giving her a curious look.

I wanted to give this to you as well, but it seems as though you asked before I did.

At this, he stared at her for a moment, and then finally his hand gripped the box and he sat up. He heard her giggle and gave her another curious glance before he opened it.

Inside was a band of silver with engraving upon it. As he took it from the box for a closer look, he could make out the word forever and on the underside, their names.

It was quite unexpected, and this likely was visible on his face. But it took only a moment before he grinned and slipped it onto his finger. He wasn’t one for wearing any sort of thing like this – but for Fel he would do anything – and proudly would he display his commitment to her.

“You’re amazing.” His words were sincere as he gazed into her eyes. This was the best phrase he could offer to explain how he felt. She was everything to him. She was his best friend, and more than that, she was the one that he loved and would always love throughout the test of time. Every moment that he spent with her he was amazed by her. By how easily she made him happy. By how perfectly she fit in his arms. By how different of a man he felt like when he was with her.

For some time longer the two of them remained where they were, until the sun began to set over the horizon.

“We should maybe get a room for the night…” He suggested as he gazed off towards the orange and red colors that were taking over the sky around them.

(ooc: we should probably start another one for him telling her he left TSO, and maybe have her meet his uncle so they can announce the news to him...? :) )