Something about blood (Wargrave)

[SashaKovalev]

The darkside. It wrapped its warped little fingers around his heart tight enough to make it burst. The touch was so much stronger than he would ever have imagined when he had walked through the doors of the Sith Order a few years ago.

Then, he had been angry, but relatively innocent. It hadn’t taken long for that innocence to be stripped from him, perhaps making him grow up a bit faster than he otherwise might have. And in turn, as it had been taken from him, he had taken it from others. His first apprentice had found a rather quick death over the edge of a cliff. The others that followed had been more fortunate, though that certainly depended on how you looked at things. As a master, he was fair, but he was not always kind – a result of too much anger and not enough outlets.

The time that had passed was a seeming whirlwind from the eighteen year old apprentice he had been. He had found knighthood quickly - perhaps too quickly - and perhaps that was why now, after having waited only a few more years, the quest to be more seemed so much longer.

Though he wanted it so badly, he wasn’t ready to be considered a Sith master. A master for apprentices, certainly, but a master in sith ranks, no. Not yet. Not in his early twenties. He just wasn’t mature enough. He still had too much to learn. He’d had a significant amount of experience with life and its adventures, and he was certainly on the right path to attain that which he desired – and it was waiting for him somewhere down the road – but for now, he was not ready.

He knew this, and it drove him crazy. And rather than seeking out the elders of the order to help him improve, he sought out someone else. He sought his uncle, or rather, another version of his uncle. His uncle was Grand Admiral Taylor Millard, a man known to very few as a force user. His uncle was also Maester Wargrave, a powerful dark jedi. It was Wargrave that he sought.

He did not wish for his uncle to know his weaknesses, for he wanted more than anything for the man to be proud of him. Millard was as close to Sasha had as a father, and his opinion mattered to the young sith knight.

But the choice was for the elder members of the order to know his weaknesses, or for his uncle to know them. And in the grand scheme of things, he preferred it to be his uncle. He admired the man, and if there was anyone he wanted to be like when he was older – with the exception of a few things – it was his uncle.

And so, he had sent word to his uncle, Grand Admiral Taylor Millard, asking him, if he could, as a favor, pass a message on to Wargrave for him. He could have gone to Vjun to seek him out, but he rather detested the planet, and he had been lucky enough his first two times there to know not to push his luck further. Instead he requested for Wargrave to meet with him on a rather remote planet, away from most everyone and everything.

He had given the specific coordinates, and so now he went there to wait, passing his time by reading a book on Sith teachings as he waited.

[Maester Wargrave]

"Well, well well," the familiar voice came from behind Sasha.

There stood a dark-cloaked figure, his silver armor glistening beneath the black cloak, a hint of red showing as well.

"Aren't we brazen...contact the secret ID to get to Wargrave..." Wargrave smiled darkly.

"You are indeed bold."

Wargrave strode forward, then stopped and stared at his nephew.

The smile turned warm and Wargrave extended a hand.

"It is good to see you, Mister Kovalev. Tell me...why did you need to see me instead of Millard?"

[SashaKovalev]

Well, well well

Sasha turned at the sound of the familiar voice, and scrambled to his feet, dropping the book on the ground where he’d been sitting. Although he knew the man behind the voice, it still unnerved him. He could recall too well the first experience he’d had with him.

Aren't we brazen...contact the secret ID to get to Wargrave. You are indeed bold.

Violet eyes stared at Wargrave, and he released a slow breath to relax. And then the dark smile of Wargrave turned warm, and his uncle extended his hand. With a slight sense of relief, Sasha shook it, a grin finally coming to the normally serious expression on his face.

It is good to see you, Mister Kovalev. Tell me...why did you need to see me instead of Millard?

At this, the young sith took a step back, and from the low overhand of a tree branch, puled a leaf from it, and slowly, he tore the leaf to pieces as he considered his words.

“Millard isnt a force user.” Sasha replied, then sighed softly. “You are.” He let go the remains of the leaf, and slowly, they fell to the ground.

“I kept my word on the last favor I asked of you, and I was hoping that I might be able to ask for another.”

Seeing that Wargrave was waiting for the rest of the explanation, he continued.

“I havent really had any training from my master since I was knighted. She’s more there for mentoring, but there still so much I need to learn and…”

His eyes flickered away, before he looked back to his uncle. He could not learn these things from his father, but perhaps – perhaps – his uncle would be willing.

“I was hoping you would be willing to teach me these things.” He finished, inherent in his words the admiration and respect that he had for his uncle.

[Maester Wargrave]

This took Wargrave aback a bit. Another apprentice? And another one connected to 'Millard'. It seemed fitting almost...kinda like an irony that wouldn't go away.

Why is it...I always find my apprentices as Millard...and, atleast recently, my family members as Wargrave?

The one exception to the 'family' rule currently was out somewhere...who knew where? Millard was looking for her...always keeping an eye out for where she could be.

"Mister Kovalev it all depends on if you are willing to listen to what I have to teach," he said, towering over this nephew.

"Remember...I am a Dark Jedi...not a Sith. The way I use the Force...is a bit different from what Lady Vader might teach you.

"But that being said...I would be honored to help in your advancement."

[SashaKovalev]

Mister Kovalev it all depends on if you are willing to listen to what I have to teach

Sasha looked up at Wargrave as he spoke, listening intently to the answer his uncle had to give. He was more than willing to listen to anything his uncle had to teach.

Remember...I am a Dark Jedi...not a Sith. The way I use the Force...is a bit different from what Lady Vader might teach you.

This, Sasha did not care about. He had felt the strength in the force that Wargrave could command, and he respected it. Wanted nothing more than to be capable of that some day. And if it took a different method, so be it. He was about to object, to tell Wargrave he didn’t care when his uncle spoke again.

But that being said...I would be honored to help in your advancement.

An expression of relief mixed with excitement lit up his features. And briefly, he smiled, looking every bit like a younger version of his father, before his serious expression returned.

You wont regret it. He promised. And while Wargrave would likely not regret it, it was likely, that at times, Sasha would regret asking. He didn’t doubt that Wargrave was hard on those that he taught. And he didn’t doubt that before it was over, he would endure pain and confusion that he had never felt before. But he was willing to go through with it, for he truly believed it would only make him stronger in the long run.

[Maester Wargrave]

"Excellent," the Dark Jedi Master said at his nephew's acceptance.

"The first lesson is this," He seemingly grew three feet, towering over Sasha.

"While you are in the presence of Wargrave you will not say we are family. No one is to know Sasha Kovalev and Maester Wargrave are related. It is the same for Millard and Wargrave. They are...two seperate people."

His cold blue eyes stared down into the violet of Sasha.

"If you also wish to speak to Wargrave you can contact me directly...not through Millard.

"And you shouldn't be afraid of VJun...you are under my protection, when you visit there."

[SashaKovalev]

Excellent. The first lesson is this. While you are in the presence of Wargrave you will not say we are family. No one is to know Sasha Kovalev and Maester Wargrave are related. It is the same for Millard and Wargrave. They are...two separate people.

With these words, Wargrave seemed to grow taller, and his cold eyes stared down at the young sith knight. Sasha met this gaze, strong enough and willing enough to do as he had to do to become what he sought to be, but not without some sense of understanding of how rigorous and difficult the training would be in order to get there. He did not expect to be treated any different from the others just because he was family. That would do him no good.

He nodded in understanding, his eyes never leaving those of Wargrave as he stared up at him.

“I don’t expect to be treated any differently than anyone else.” He replied respectfully, a sense or earnestness in his tone.

If you also wish to speak to Wargrave you can contact me directly...not through Millard. And you shouldn't be afraid of VJun...you are under my protection, when you visit there.

“Im not afraid of Vjun.” These words he stated somewhat defensively without thinking them over before he spoke. He had been taught up until now that there was no fear. According to the Sith code he was not ever to feel fear, but rather to instill it in his enemies. And if he repeated it enough to himself, perhaps one day he would truly feel no fear.

And he wasn’t afraid of Vjun necessarily – he was just wise enough to know that to go there without the protection of Wargrave would be a foolish decision. He wasn’t liked by the dark jedi who had laid claim to Bast, and he wasn’t foolish enough to think they would allow him to return time and time again without permission or protection. He didn’t doubt that to do so wouldnt be without some sort of repercussion.

[Maester Wargrave]

"That is another lesson to learn. Not to lie to a superior," Wargrave went back to his normal height.

"There is nothing the matter with fear.

"But...It is how you control and confront a fear, which makes you stronger."

[SashaKovalev]

That is another lesson to learn. Not to lie to a superior

Sasha’s eyes flickered away, and there might have been a rueful, if not slightly embarrassed expression on his face.

There is nothing the matter with fear. But...It is how you control and confront a fear, which makes you stronger.

He said nothing in response for a moment, but instead considered these words. When Wargrave had agreed to teach him, Sasha had agreed to put aside the things he’s been taught, knowing that there would be differences in the way the dark jedi handled things, and to listen.

And Wargrave’s words made sense. Admittedly, he had felt fear before. He was only a now, nineteen year old kid, and there would be things in life to fear ahead of him in life. There had been things, before him in life that he had feared as well.

“So you’re saying that instead of denying fear at all, that I should accept it. Just accept that it exists.”

He thought about this for a second longer, considering the fact that right now, his way of handling fear had been to ignore it, and to seek out anger at anything that would cause fear, anger at that which would threaten his path, and to strike out at it. This method, as he thought about it, allowed his actions to be ruled by fear. He was striking out in order to deny fear.

Wargrave seemed to be suggesting something different. He seemed to be suggesting that Sasha accept the fear, control it, and then confront it.

“When you say to control it, are you suggesting that I face up to the fact that Im afraid, and let my next move be based on a logical way of confronting it, rather than immediately striking out in an automatic reflex in an effort to deny it?”

[Maester Wargrave]

"Exactly," the Dark Jedi replies his eyes lighting up in glee.

"There is nothing wrong with fear. But instead of running pell mell away from it...or rushing blindly towards it...confront it."

Sasha was suddenly surrounded by a dark wall, its stone bleeding deep red blood. In the distance, the young Sith could see two men fighting.

It was his father, Trent Donovan, and the Grand Master of the Templis Cults, Mayfar Jirroc, fighting.

The blades of the duo clashed as the two swordsmen swung at each other.

Sasha moved to help his father, but noticed he was held back by something. A chain...a small ironlink chain around his ankle. Try as he might...the young Sith couldn't break the chain.

"Alexander!" Trent called as he kept battling...

"Help! Help me defeat this bastard! This...being who is consumed with his own power and advancement!"

"My son...help me!"

[SashaKovalev]

Wargrave knew exactly how to prey upon Sasha’s fears. To have spent his life without his father, wondering about him. This scene, as it unrolled before the young sith brought him back to a time when he could have saved his father. To see the father he had always wanted to know - and to watch him die and be able to do nothing about it – certainly, this evoked fear in the young man.

On instinct, driven by what had had been taught this far, by what had been drilled into him, he felt his anger flare. Without a second thought, he tugged violently at the chains, and when they still did not release, he had an urge to strike out at anything, to break his own foot in order to enable it to slip through the chains. He picked up a rock, held tightly in hand raised in preparation to do as he had to.

It was difficult for him to remember that this was a test. It had happened so quickly, and it played, perhaps purposefully, on his emotions. On thoughts that he kept deep, deep within him.

And he had been taught not to feel fear. To use his anger, instead to defeat it.

Hearing his father call his name stirred something deep within him. A vague memory, perhaps, of his father that he had not been able to uncover. He felt as if he had been swept up in a whirlwind, everything passing quickly around him, sweeping him up with it.

It was as he called his father’s name that reality struck him. It was completely foreign on his tongue. He had never before uttered his father’s name. He had been too young during the time his father had been alive for this to be true. And he understood the stupidity now of what he might have done had he not just accepted that this was fear. He was feeling fear and he had to accept this.

As he did, as he admitted to himself that this was fear that he felt, he could feel the whirlwind calm around him. It spread slowly, from the center outward, until his world felt somewhat within his control.

And then he sought to confront the fear.

Wargrave was a master of many things, illusions included. And Sasha had experienced this before with him, at their first confrontation with one another.

“My father is gone.” He stated, mostly for himself, though loud enough for anyone around to hear it.

“I wont see him again, and there is nothing I could have done to save him.” He added, his voice quieter, almost a whisper as he faced his fear, and assured himself that there was nothing he could have done. Nothing he could do.

Slowly, reality slipped back. He found his lightsaber in his hand, gripped tightly, the ‘rock’ he had held, as if he would possibly have used it. He found his surroundings as they had been, though the light was fading as the late afternoon set in.

He released a semi ragged breath, the experience having rattled him just a bit as he realized how foolish he could have been, and just how much effort it would take to accept this new way of thinking.

[Maester Wargrave]

Beside Sasha, Wargrave was smiling.

"Excellent, young Sasha...you confronted your fear. I congratulate you."

He applauded lightly.

"Now...are you beginning to understand?"

[SashaKovalev]

It was strange to him to see Wargrave actually smiling. Most of the smiles he had seen by him were cold and could easily fill an opponent with unease.

And so, the young Sith was still wary, despite what appeared to be praise.

"I'm beginning to understand...." He replied, nodding slowly.

"But its going to be more difficult than I thought it would be." He admitted, referring to accepting a new way of thinking and following through with it.

"Im used to just relying on anger to deal with fear - how do the dark jedi use anger...? Is it a factor at all...?"

It had become so automatic - the feeling of lashing out in anger. Yet, in this new method, anger had been somewhat non existent.

[Maester Wargrave]

"Oh indeed you do use your anger," Wargrave replied beginning to circle Sasha slowly.

He stopped and looked at the young Sith, "The Jedi say it is wrong to use your anger...they are wrong. Anger is something you can use as a tool, a fuel so to speak. But you can not let it consume you.

"Mind over power normally leads to success. But...knowing when you're over matched is another tool of success."

[SashaKovalev]

The Jedi say it is wrong to use your anger...they are wrong. Anger is something you can use as a tool, a fuel so to speak. But you can not let it consume you.

What matter the most to Sasha was the last sentence. Not to let anger consume him. He looked away for a moment, knowing full well that this had been happening to him lately.

Mind over power normally leads to success. But...knowing when you're over matched is another tool of success.

This would be difficult to accept. Power was everything to a Sith. Power was the ultimate goal.

"And when Im over matched....what is it you suggest that I do?"

His response would have been stubborn - to fight it out until his death. Perhaps it was stupid, but he had much pride, and the Sith code told him there was no death - there was immortality. He did not 100% believe this, but wasnt sure what else to believe. And so, little by little, this was becoming a way of life for him. Perhaps, he allowed himself to believe, perhaps there was immortality.

[Maester Wargrave]

"I was taught, and this is a bit of an Imperial look to it," Wargrave looked out in the distance, "But there is nothing the matter with retreat.

"While being a Force user can allow you to exhist as a ghost...I prefer physical form. Wouldn't you?"

[SashaKovalev]

Retreat seemed to Sasha like giving up. Admitting you were bested.

"Yeah, I do prefer a physical form, but retreat just seems...."

He shrugged.

"I dont know, like a cowards way out of it." Not that he would ever consider Wargrave a coward, but he knew himself well enough to know he was too stubborn, and too full of pride to make retreat something he would easily be able to do.

[Maester Wargrave]

"Your pride will be your undoing, Mister Kovalev," Wargrave replied with a disapproving stare.

"Tell me, if I were to attack and fell you...yet still give you a chance to escape. Would you? Knowing if you did not you would be dead?"

[SashaKovalev]

Your pride will be your undoing, Mister Kovalev
Sasha caught the disapproval in both tone and stare.

Tell me, if I were to attack and fell you...yet still give you a chance to escape. Would you? Knowing if you did not you would be dead?

The young Sith considered this, his gaze falling to the ground and his foot kicking out idly at a stone.

“I don’t know.” He replied, feeling confusion set in. Slowly, his violet eyes lifted to look at Wargrave.

He knew it would be stupid to stay, thinking about it now, while he was calm, yet, yet he knew that in anger he often did stupid things.

[Maester Wargrave]

"Do not know? Or not willing to say?" Wargrave raised an eyebrow.

"Do not worry, young one, I will not seek your death...ever."

[SashaKovalev]

Idly, he turned his lightsaber over and over in his hand. It was something he often did when thinking, or out of nervous habit.

"I honestly dont know." He answered.

"I mean, thinking about it right now, yeah, I think I'd be stupid to stay and meet my death. But...to walk away seems to go against everything the Sith code calls for and..." He paused, torn momentarily between what he was supposed to believe, and what he honestly did believe.

"And I know I do stupid things in anger." He finished with a sigh.

"I let it consume me sometimes, and I would maybe be stupid enough to stay." He admitted.

[Maester Wargrave]

"Then you have something to work on,"The Dark Jedi Master said.

"But I do not reccommend you go up against any masters yet. Or people named Van Derveld."

Wargrave let a smirk come to his face.

[SashaKovalev]

Then you have something to work on. But I do not recommend you go up against any masters yet. Or people named Van Derveld.

Visibly, the young Sith bristled at the mention of Van Derveld. That was a fight he would not be able to back down from.

His expression seemed to be glowering for a moment, but he bit his tongue.

“I’ll work on it.” He replied. Though, slowly it was dawning on him what immortality in the Sith code would be – continuing life as a ghost. At this, he frowned.

The things he was learning from his uncle were calling into question all that he had been taught up until now.

“Did you used to believe in the Sith code?” He asked, referring back to when his uncle had been a member of the Sith order.

[Maester Wargrave]

"The Sith Code..." Wargrave seemed to ponder that for an instant.

"Recite it for me, Mister Kovalev. And then answer the question for yourself...do you believe in the Sith Code?"

[SashaKovalev]

Recite it for me, Mister Kovalev. And then answer the question for yourself...do you believe in the Sith Code?

He knew it by heart. He could recite it easily, and it was not the command to do it that made him pause, but the command that came after it. It was a question he wasn’t sure if he wanted to answer.

“There is no peace, there is anger.
There is no fear, there is power.
There is no death, there is immortality.
There is no weakness, there is the Dark Side. “

He paused halfway through, looking to Wargrave with an almost questioning expression on his face. When there was no answer, he continued.

“I am the Heart of Darkness.
I know no fear,
But rather I instill it in my enemies.
I am the destoyer of worlds.
I know the power of the Dark Side.
I am the fire of hate.
All the Universe bows before me.
I pledge myself to the Darkness.
For I have found true life,
In the death of the light.”

He paused for a moment after.

“Parts of it. I believe in parts of it.” He answered.

[Maester Wargrave]

"Then you have your answer," Wargrave replied.

"There are parts of the Sith Code that are right and correct. And parts that are not.

"Tell me...which parts do you believe?"

[SashaKovalev]

Then you have your answer. There are parts of the Sith Code that are right and correct. And parts that are not. Tell me...which parts do you believe?

Sasha knew that as a true Sith, he would be expected to believe completely in the code. A part of him had always been uncomfortable with it, disliking the idea of pretending to be something that he was not. But then, he had changed over his time with the order, and he understood that over the years, it was possible he would learn to believe in the code 100%.

But Wargrave challenged this, and because of Sasha’s respect for the dark jedi, he was willing to be open to challenging the things he had been taught to believe in.

“Well, I believe in using anger, but I don’t believe that it should be a replacement for peace. To be angry constantly, in an effort to replace peace, takes more energy than to just be at peace sometimes, I think.” He was a kid full of anger, but his anger came when he was agitated by something, and it was not always a constant.

“And sometimes, I think, I find peace in anger, so how then, is there no peace?” He questioned, somewhat rhetorically.

“As far as there being no fear, and only power….” He paused for a moment.

“The truth is that I do feel fear.” He admitted, his eyes casting to the ground, but then they came to look at Wargrave.

“And as you just explained, its how I control and face that fear that matters, not the fact that I felt it. I think theres more power in facing fear, than trying to deny it. In denying it, you never truly conquer it.”

He was astudent. There was no doubt about the logical way in which he broke down each piece, challenging it and giving it great thought. It was something he did not share with most, choosing for most to believe him to be just an angry Sith. It was an advantage, he thought, at times.

“As far as death and immprtality…I suppose it depends on individual definitions of death. Sure, theres the ability to live on as a ghost, but there is the death of your physical form. And the ability to travel and be where you want to be. My father….lives on, but as far as I understand, cant be with me whenever and wherever he wants to. I consider him dead.” He stated. For a moment, in a respectful silence, he thought of his father.

“I believe in the last part. I believe in there being no weakness, and only the Dark Side. But I think I need to take with that, the idea that believing there is no weakness at all, is weakness in itself. Everyone has a weakness, and the only way to eliminate weakness is to accept it, and work on it. In doing this, in working on improving, then you will not be weak.”

He shrugged.

“The rest of it…destroying worlds and instilling fear….” He rolled his eyes.

“Instilling fear is fine, but Im not all that hell bent on destroying worlds, really…I don’t get the point of it, except to make people afraid, and to gain power from conquer…”

“I don’t know…I understand the point of all of it, but I guess…I don’t know, I don’t know if I have that in me. I don’t know that that’s my goal in life…”

[Maester Wargrave]

"There is a fine line between Order and Chaos, Mister Kovalev," Wargrave smiled as he heard Sasha's answer.

He had much to learn about the Force.

"Comfort in your anger is what you've discovered. It is quite simple to be angry at the galaxy, after all...what have they done to help you? A family you never knew. A father...dead, by some religious organization. Your mother...dead in shame.

"True you have a family now...an uncle who cares for you, as well as, a second cousin with the Sith. But can you truly feel accepted by them? After barely knowing them for so long?"

He looked deep into Sasha's eyes, the Dark Jedi's blue eyes gleaming with interest.

"Can you honestly tell me you feel accepted by them?"

Wargrave turned, walking a few paces away from Sasha.

"Which do you prefer...using stealth to destroy and enemy from within? Or running them over with your power?"

[SashaKovalev]

There is a fine line between Order and Chaos, Mister Kovalev Comfort in your anger is what you've discovered. It is quite simple to be angry at the galaxy, after all...what have they done to help you? A family you never knew. A father...dead, by some religious organization. Your mother...dead in shame. True you have a family now...an uncle who cares for you, as well as, a second cousin with the Sith. But can you truly feel accepted by them? After barely knowing them for so long?

As Wargrave’s blue eyes stared into his, the young Sith held the gaze, not in strength or defiance, but in….embarrassment?

Can you honestly tell me you feel accepted by them? He felt the heat rise to his cheeks, and he looked away. He did not feel 100% accepted by them, no. He didn’t know his second cousin at all. His uncle…he knew him enough that he sought hi out, but he was not completely comfortable with him yet. He wanted, very badly to be, for a part of him, though he was reaching the early stages of adulthood, still wanted a father figure. Still wanted the guidance he had never had.

He watched as Wargrave turned and walked a few paces away.

Which do you prefer...using stealth to destroy and enemy from within? Or running them over with your power?

He considered this carefully. His first instinct, as a Sith, would be to respond that he preferred to run the enemy over with power. Power was what all Sith sought. But he was forced now to examine himself, to take a good look at how he actually behaved.

And the truth of this was that he wasn’t powerful enough to run an enemy over with power alone. He had survived this far, by using his mind to come up with creative solutions to dealing with an enemy. From training with a master, to bounty hunter, to jedi, to being overwhelmed by raiders on Tatooine – he had not lived to tell of these tales by power, but rather using his mind.

“If I had the ability to use one or the other, then which one I preferred would depend, I think, upon the circumstances.” He finally answered.

[Maester Wargrave]

"Then you are not thinking like a Sith," The Dark Jedi said.

"You are using your brain not your emotions. Excellent...excellent indeed."

[SashaKovalev]

Then you are not thinking like a Sith

Though these words were in praise, something about them contined to echo in Sasha's mind long after they were spoken. Something about them toyed with him, leaving him in a state of confusion.

He was a Sith. Wasnt he? Yet....he did not think like one. Did not always act like one. And at some point in his life, he was going to need to make a decision one way or the other, it seemed to him. He thought in extremes, rather than understaning a middle ground existed. He was too young to understand this, for he did not yet have the wisdom, power, or control that was necessary to achieve this.

"But..." This one word hung there for a moment. This word was not spoken hesitantly as most would often use it. Instead it was said rather forcefully and he paused only a brief moment before he spoke.

"But emotions are powerful..." He stated, believing in using them to drive the force into doing what was commanded of it.

There were lines on his forehead as it creased in thought.

"And theres nothing wrong with thinking like a Sith." He added somewhat defensively.

He had come to learn from Wargrave, certainly, and he understood that he would have to open his mind to a new way of thought. However, in doing so, he was not going to give up all that he believed in, all that he had been taught. Not yet. If ever.

"Beside, my response was that of common sense, not the mindset of a sith or....otherwise." He could not bring himself to say that of a dark jedi. Not that he looked down upon them, but...he wasnt ready to admit he might think like one.

[Maester Wargrave]

"If I used my anger to strike out at everyone who wronged me, Mister Kovalev," Wargrave replied, staring at the young Sith.

"We would not be having this conversation, as I would have probably died in the Unknown Regions with your father."

He took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of the air around him.

"Using one's emotions is not a bad thing. The Jedi certainly do it, as do the Dark Jedi.

"But" he said, his cold blue eyes glowing, "It is much easier to be calculating and plan his course of action. I have discovered, when I am completely out of control of my emotions, I make mistakes.

"And those cannot be corrected, I fear."

He saw the expression on Sasha's face, "It was your father who helped me see that. As did Grand Admiral Thrawn."

[SashaKovalev]

“But my father was the one who died.” He replied, his violet eyes narrowing slightly. He had tried to keep the bitterness from his tone.

Anger for all of those years without his father began to resurface. He kept this deep within him, trying to make a conscience effort to forgive. But it was not an easy process for him, for the Sith order only served to encourage this anger.

He looked away for a moment, head bent in shame for his remarks. He had spoken without thinking. And his words had been foolish.

“How did you learn this from my father?” He asked, looking back to Wargrave.

[Maester Wargrave]

Sasha was lifted in the air and thrown back twenty feet.

"If I could have saved your father, Mister Kovalev," Wargrave's voice boomed. "I would have.

"But your father showed me to use mind over emotions. He was the stronger of the two in the Force. He was developing it before Millard did."

[SashaKovalev]

He landed with a solid thud and felt the wind leave him for a moment. He deserved it and he knew it.

If I could have saved your father, Mister Kovalev, I would have

Wargrave’s voice had been loud and carried with it a tone that less than subtly told the young man just how foolish his remark had been. From his position on the ground, his violet eyes looked to the master and then flickered away.

As he climbed back to his feet and dusted himself off, he heard the answer to his question.

But your father showed me to use mind over emotions. He was the stronger of the two in the Force. He was developing it before Millard did.

He walked forward, closing the distance between he and Maester Wargrave once again. There was so much he wanted to know about his father. And so much that he wanted to know about his uncle.

“How did he show you?” Sasha asked. Did he toss you around like a rag doll? This thought was on his mind, but not one that he voiced, nor on that he particularly wanted Wargrave to know of.

He wanted to think himself capable of using his brain rather than his emotions, but he knew that only moments ago he had demonstrated the fact that he definitely leaned more toward one than the other.

“What did he do that made it so easy for you to change your way of thinking?”

He had struggled for some time with control over his emotions and as of yet, had not quite encountered the one situation that would teach him the final lesson.

[Maester Wargrave]

"He did not fight with emotion, instead he used his feelings to fuel his mind and how he fought," Wargrave crossed his arms and stared down at Sasha.

"After seeing him fight, I decided his tactics were worth adapting as my own. Your father did not get angry or foolishly run towards danger.

"He fought with a cunning mind and blade. I wish he were still alive."

[SashaKovalev]

He did not fight with emotion, instead he used his feelings to fuel his mind and how he fought

As Wargrave crossed his arms and stared down at Sasha the young knight had the feeling that he was, subtly or not, being rebuked for being foolish and letting his emotions get the best of him..

After seeing him fight, I decided his tactics were worth adapting as my own. Your father did not get angry or foolishly run towards danger. He fought with a cunning mind and blade. I wish he were still alive.

Sasha’s gaze dropped to the ground and he shifted slightly. For a moment, he felt his confidence slip from him entirely. His father had been everything that he was not. At least, in his mind. And more than anything, he wished that his father were still alive as well. Perhaps if he had been…..

But there was no perhaps. His father wasn’t alive. And all the wishing in the world wasn’t going to change it.

He could feel his cheeks flush in that moment, anger renewed at this.

“If he was so cunning, and so skilled, then…then why isnt he still live?” He asked, the anger in his voice. He cold not keep it out, could not control it. Perhaps a part of him was rebelling, seeking to become his own person rather than living in the shadow of what might have beenn.

It wasn’t that he meant these words, necessarily. He did not seek to take anything away from what his father had been. It was pure emotion that drove him to speak.