Help Me!!!

[Marcus Telcontar]

I've been invaded by friends of my wife.... and they are watching Bridget Jones Diary!

HELP! I'm having my brain melted! No man deserves this agony!

[Taylor Millard]

Well...would you rather see these movies?

RATTLED

While building a new development in a small valley community, workers accidentally drive hundreds of aggressive, highly poisonous rattlesnakes from a huge underground nest. The plague of rattlers ends up headed toward the home of the project's architect — who must overcome his own mortal fear of snakes in order to save his isolated family from their fangs. This thriller, directed by Tony Randel (Hellbound: Hellraiser II), stars William Katt (Carrie, House) and Shanna Reed (Alien Avengers, TV's Major Dad).

SCI FI PICTURES WORLD PREMIERE: SABRETOOTH

David Keith (Firestarter), Vanessa Angel (Weird Science), John Rhys-Davies (Sliders, The Lord of the Rings) and drop-dead Jenna Gering (NYPD Blue, Baywatch) star in this SCI FI PICTURES original movie. An egomaniacal millionaire and a sexy scientist genetically recreate a Smilodon fatalis — the best-known of the prehistoric sabretooth cats. When this giant killer feline gets loose, they enlist the aid of an expert big-game hunter to trap it — before the beast makes a buffet out of local campers. Watch as kitty litters the woods ... with bodies!

Dragon Fighter

It's a real reign of fire as helicopter gunships fight a genetically modified dragon in the most startlingly real depiction of these mythic beasts ever put on film. Dean Cain stars.

IF2: Interceptor Force 2

The elite team battles an alien out to blow up a Russian nuclear facility and get revenge on team leader Lambert (Olivier Gruner), who killed her mate in the original. Nigel Bennett (Lexx), Elizabeth Gracen (Highlander: The Raven) and Adrienne Wilkinson (Xena: Warrior Princess) also star.
Premieres Saturday, November 30, at 9PM

Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys:
Forget Jason vs. Freddy (if it ever happens)! For horror fans in the know, this is the rumble of the century. See Blade, Jester, Pinhead and the rest tricked-out like you've never seen 'em before!

Control Factor

Adam Baldwin (The X-Files), Elizabeth Berkley (Showgirls) and Tony Todd (Candyman) star in a paranoiac thriller of government mind-control and the ordinary citizens out to stop it.

PROTEUS

After their ship is wrecked beyond repair, three heroin-smuggling couples find shelter on an abandoned oil rig — only to find themselves trapped with a bioengineered, shapeshifting monster. Will they be able to escape this hideous product of classified experiments? Or will they find themselves permanently lost at sea? Watch for Hellraiser star Doug Bradley as the geneticist behind the project. Based on the novel Slimer by Harry Adam Knight, the pseudonym of author John Brosnan (Carnosaur, the Sky Lords trilogy).

SCI FI PREMIERE: PETER BENCHLEY'S CREATURE

Several years ago, geneticists at the U.S. Navy lab at Shark's Tooth Island created a hybrid of shark and dolphin. One scientist took matters further — crafting a specimen that could think and learn. After certain ... unfortunate consequences, the experiment was ended and the killer creature caged and sunk to die a natural death. But there's nothing natural about it: What shark has claws ... or knows to loosen the screws of a lobster trap? Craig T. Nelson (Poltergeist), Kim Cattrall (Mannequin, Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, HBO's Sex and the City) and Giancarlo Esposito (Maximum Overdrive, TV's Homicide: Life on the Street) star in this telefilm adaptation of Peter Benchley's novel White Shark — scripted by Farscape creator Rockne S. O'Bannon!


KOMODO

After losing both his mother and father under mysterious circumstances, an orphaned boy (Kevin Zegers, the Air Bud movies) is taken back to the North Carolina island on which his parents were last seen. Encouraged by a psychologist (willowy Jill Hennessy, TV's Law & Order and Crossing Jordan) to face his fears, he instead finds out the truth — that his parents were devoured by a pack of Komodo dragons still running rampant on the island. Director Michael Lantieri is a special-effects artist whose credits include all three Jurassic Park movies, Deep Impact and Mars Attacks!

Hmm?

[Levi Argon]

Did they enter the house chanting "Oooeeeo-eeOOHHoh"? It wouldn't suprise me, women are evil like that.

Just slouch on a chair with a six-pack of beers, belch, fart, scratch your nads and talk about the ladies assets frequently. That will ensure you wont have to suffer any further brain-melting sessions in the future. :)

[Marcus Telcontar]

Taylor, YOU be in the same house as six other women watching this damn movie! AGH! This... this is just evil! It's not the movie, it's the combined oestrogen effects .... and they are now all squealing after Hugh Grant. Oh Lord, help me survive this night....

Levi, unfortunantly if I did that, my life expectantcy would be minimal. I've moved myself into the garage, with the cats and locked myself away.

[Levi Argon]

Coward! :)

[Marcus Telcontar]

I'm no coward. I just know a hopeless situation when I see it and bail out :p

[Levi Argon]

Bah! You've let your other half become the wearer of the trousers. You should've said: "Listen woman! I'm the man of the house, I say what goes and you are not watching the Bridget Jones Diary with all your squeaky friends tonight!" :smokin

[Marcus Telcontar]

Then be my guest, Levi. Just place plastic sheets on the floor first. Blood stains are hard to clean up off carpet :p

And anyway, considering that Monday nights is work on cars, fart, eat pizza and rally videos with the yobbos.... err... friends.... I dont do too badly.

[Sanis Prent]

How many times did you tell her your feelings (aka, count her black eyes) ;)

(BAD JOKE :o)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Yeah that WAS a bad joke. I've never seen that movie, I wonder if its any good.

If you want, make her watch "About a Boy" next time. I love that movie. :D And its NOT a chick flick, REALLY.

[Loki Ahmrah]

I've heard an adaption of that joke: "What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice."

:uhoh

[Sanis Prent]

Thats the bad joke I was referring to :)

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

poor Marcus :(

[xsmokingmanx]

well the best advice I can give you Marcus is good luck and i hope you survive. :)

[Ishan Shade]

Marcus my friend, be careful of that estrogen sweeping through....i hope your out in the garage pumping iron or belching or something! You must keep your manly'ness alive!!

[Tyreal Dalarsco]

If she wants you to watch it with her WATCH IT!
It will keep the relationship going if you do everything a girl asks you. If she doesn't care if you watch it with them, don't.

[Xenodoros Stormrider]

Say you're going to buy something... but then you come back the next day...

And as an excuse, you come up with a story that would sell millions in Hollywood.

[Marcus Telcontar]

It's now MY turn to make her flee.

FOTR:SE has arrived at my door! See you all in a few hours with a review!!!

[Zeke]

GO MARCUS! :D

[Tyreal Dalarsco]

I don't think revenge is a good idea.
But, I've been told by people from out of town that girls are more violent where I live than in other places.

[Sanis Prent]

A wise man once said that the key to a happy marriage is yardwork. The more you spend time outside, the less she can get on your nerves. Might think about that next time the lawn needs mowing. Keep the mower stowed, and break out the scissors.