Perhaps I got a bit... carried away... (complete)

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Sitting quietly in a back booth of the bar and grill, Lok s'Ilancy carefully cleaned the grime from beneath her fingernails; a habit she'd picked up from Diego Van Derveld. One of many, in fact. A small cup of sake sat before her, and next to it was a bottle; half full.

She'd only been sitting for half an hour, enjoying the morning after a night full of trapsing through the forests, exploring and letting her restlessness have complete rign over her senses. It was a wonderful feeling.

But now that was over with.

s'Il was winding down now, sitting content and quite happy to simply busy herself with the menial task of cleaning her fingers.

[Mr Dust]

The young Lupine does not seem to have noticed Mr. Dust yet as he strolls toward her. His hat is in his hands, a somber look on his face. He approaches the table, almost timidly.

Perhaps I got a bit... carried away...

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

The voice startled her; it was familiar, as well. With an imperceptable cringe she ignored him, continuing on with her task. She did look up at him breifly, metallic eyes taking him in before drifting to his hat.

Finally, still staring at the hat, she spoke.

"Keep that away from me."

[Mr Dust]

He looks at his hat quickly, eyes widening.

Ah! How foolish of me... I forgot about it entirely. I am unarmed, otherwise. No coins, no cortosis, and definately no saber. Excuse me momentarily.

He returns to the bar and asks the bartender to hold his hat for him. He returns to her table, bowing deeply.

Madam, I... feel I should explain... may I sit?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

s'Il gave him a lazy stare, then refilled her glass.

"You can do whatever you want, sir. It seems you do that anyway... so who am I to stop you?

"I tried it once, and failed."

In a strange way he frightened her just a little bit; though she'd never admit it to anyone. It was the fact that when they fought, he was able to counter her for every action she made. She hid it well however, putting forth a sense of nonchalance that manifested itself in her refilling the sake.

"Of course," she went on, "I suppose it's my fault too; I didn't tell you why I don't like-" she hesitated, then corrected herself, "- why I'm afraid of lightsabers."

[Mr Dust]

He takes a seat across from her, hands on the table so she can see that he is attempting no subterfuge.

Well... perhaps if I tell you my reasoning for my actions, you will tell me of your fear of lightsabers?

[Javier Enfer]

Madam s'Ilancy here?..in public when a vampire wants her boyfriends blood?...surely not?. Tis' true, she was sat in a bar cleaning her finger nails how sweet. Javier displayed a fake look of affection as he sat away on another table, she did not recognize him by the looks of it, perhaps Millard never told her he had a stalker, heh, foolish man.

Millard was a human, allowed to make mistakes without question. While others perished in his wake and his girlfriend sits simply cleaning her finger nails, pathetic!. Javier spat on the ground next to his boot, the taist of Millards name when he spoke it was revolting,how he hated him.

He brought out a photo romhis jacket pocket, how he obtained it was another story and not one worth telling now. Bringing it up to his eyes he looked at the difference between the real woman and the picture,differences but it was her. Javier laughed and leaned back in his chair.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"You first," she said, taking a sip.

"Just... if it's anything along the lines of 'other Lupines have said what you did then gone out and killed someone', I don't wanna hear it. I'm not like most a Lupines; I've already tried to tell you that."

[Mr Dust]

I know... and you're right, that is a flimsy argument. It runs a bit deeper than that.

He leans back slightly, looking upward.

As you know, my people are the Guardians. But unlike other such groups, ALL of my people are Guardians. Men, women, children. All of my relatives have certain powers in the Force that I do not. Telekinesis is not strong in me, nor are many of the more common abilities.

Thus, I have been looked down upon, pitied. I have been dubbed "helpless" and "worthless". The ancient ways are all based on having a certain set of abilities. Thus, when I began to display my differences... well... little was expected of me.

My transfer here was not an honor. It was almost a punishment. You were the first Lupine I have ever encountered in battle. To this point, my greatest fear was that, because of my powers, I would be unable to defeat you. I had to know. I am sorry... the fight was over, but I continued it. I can only offer apologies now.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She leaned forward a little, staring into his eyes.

"And when did you think it was over; when I started walking away after pushing you against the tree, or before it even started; when I asked you to not pull that damned sabre on me again... ?"

[Mr Dust]

He moves his gaze back to her eyes.

It was over when I was against the tree. There was no need for the coin... I just had to see if I could... in case it was ever truly necessary.

As for the bringing out the saber later... there were two reasons. The first is simple. Your threat, quite frankly, galled me. Would it not have done had our roles been reversed? Second, as I said... I had to know if I could win.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"So I was your little lab rat," she grumbled dryly.

"I can't tell you how special that makes me feel. I get all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it...

"And if I was in your situation, I'da just walked away. No shame in that."

[Mr Dust]

His eyebrows arch at her last comment.

No shame, you say? Being the only Guardian unable to stand up to a single Lupine? Being unable to fight, when every person I have ever know IS able to? And you say there is no shame in that? Madam, you are sorely mistaken.

And you were not my "lab rat". You were merely there.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She could have laughed. In fact, she did.

"Who the hell cares what they think? You're your own person; let 'em think what they want. Look. I can't have kids; the byproduct of dying at the hands of some obsessive psycho with a lightsabre... " she lifter her neck to reveal the extensive scar that ran a vertical path from her neck, disappearing down her shirt. "Do you think I see myself as any less capable at anything than the other women around here are who can have kids?"

She kicked his shin beneath the table then.

"And don't call me Madam. I have a name, you know."

[Mr Dust]

Dying? How, then, are you alive? Granted, that explains your fear of lightsabers, but how is such a thing possible?

As for what they think... it is all I have. You can do other things than have children. But I am a Guardian. It is all I am, all I have, and all I truly want. And I was afraid it would never be mine.

And, madam, I assure you, I mean no offense. In my culture, it is the height of rudeness to refer to a person's name in public. But, if you wish, I will call you by another title. By what do you wish to be known?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She leaned back, ordering another bottle and another glass. As the droid skuttered off with her order, she stared at Dust.

"s'Il. Just s'Il."

She let out a sigh as she went on to explain his question of her dying.

"Right down the middle. Filleted like a damn fish.

"Let me tell you it wasn't fun. It's happened twice now, and each time was something I never want to do again, though while the second time it wasn't with a sabre, it was still with one of my own knives and can still sometimes feel it as he skinned me.

"Now. In regards to the dying, yes. I have been dead. The first time I was dead for half an hour before being dropped into a bacta tank."

The droid returned, and she opened the new bottle, pouring a generous amount into her cup, then going on to the other glass, filling it before sliding it towards him.

"Death was wonderful. But I don't want to go back yet.

"Even when it happened again... " she stared at him, though her eyes took on a far off look, "... I couldn't give everything up completely... I had someone I didn't want to leave...

"... but then this happened, and I had to."

[Mr Dust]

Very well... s'Il it is.

He listens as she recounts her tales of death, how she nearly lost her life twice.

Wait... you said "he" skinned you... who is "he"?

And why have you left that person? Do you believe that he cannot accept you as you are?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

s'Il never talked about Barrok, at leasst in name. She simply called him him, or he depending on the context of the sentence. Millard didn't even know his name; she refused to talk about it to anyone, and the only other being who knew of Barrok was MMU. The little avatar had been as affected as she herself, and also flat out did not even say the man's name.

And as such, she ignored his query as to who Barrok was. It wasn't out of disrespect, just simply a habit she had; she'd done it to Millard countless times until he finally stopped asking.

Staring at him, she let out a long breath, the memory of why she left Balmorra following closely behind the ones of Barrok.

"I... he's... " she paused, jaw muscles tightening a little. "... he's a force user... "

[Mr Dust]

He waits to see if she will offer more information. When nothing else seems forthcoming, he resumes his questions.

What does that mean? Not all Force users have such antagonism toward Lupines. Why should that separate you?

But you have yet to mention who this "he" is... has he been brought to justice?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She only looked at him. "I don't like to talk about him," was all she offered.

"And why do you wanna know about me. I'm just another Lupine 'killer' to you, aren't I? Fraternizing with your 'enemies'?"

s'Il didn't really consider him an enemy; if he felt otherwise, then fine. She was only cautious around him, apprehensive and just a little nervous. After all, he had ought her out on Selonia, it seemed, then started an argument that escalated into a fight; a fight that he'd decidedly had the upper hand in.

[Mr Dust]

The enemy should be determined by actions, not by race. I was too hasty in my decision at our last encounter. I have no wish to fight you, as long as you do not do something nasty.

Diego, however, must be dealt with.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her expression darkened, though there was a trace of sadness in her eyes as she sipped the sake.

"Leave him alone. He's all I have."

[Mr Dust]

He hurts people. He kills random innocents when it takes his fancy. How can I let him go?

And why do you say he's all you have? What about the Force user?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"If I go back to him, I'll only hurt him again," was the clipped response as she set the cup back on the table with a dull thunk.

"I say Diego is all I have because it's the truth. He took me in, is sharing his life with me. As I am with him."

[Mr Dust]

You don't know that. Have you even talked to him?

The reason I ask is simple. Diego is all you have because he's all you choose to have. It need not be that way.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"I hurt him; that's all that matters. I left because I didn't want to do it again.

"And yes, I chose Diego, and no one else. Would you rather I went to someone else? Perhaps you?"

[Mr Dust]

He may well be willing to forgive you, you know.

His eyes widen a bit at her comment.

Well, with no offense meant whatsoever, I do not believe that we would be very... compatable, to say the least.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"It's not that he wouldn't forgive me; it's that I can't forgive myself."

She stopped then, regarding him with an odd look while digesting his last words. He'd taken her meaning a little differently than what she'd intended, and she smirked.

"Who said I'd want to be with you in that nature... oh wait, you did.

"Impure thoughts, perhaps?" her smirk grew a little as she took another sip of her drink.

[Mr Dust]

Is it so hard to forgive? What did you do that was so unforgivable?

Her next comment startles him slightly. He almost sputters.

Oh... no! My choice of words was obviously very poor. By "compatible", I did not mean physically... I meant emotionally, I assure you!

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"You said what you said, sir. I only heard what I heard. Now. In regards to my not forgiving myself, I'd prefer not to think about it anymore. That part of my life is over and I would like to move one.

"I am with Diego now.

"And whether or not you think you and I are emotionally compatible, I wouldn't be so quick to judge someone. I certainly haven't done that to you. Take a step back and look at the situation; I'm being perfecly civil, even though you attacked and injured me previously; some people would say I'm being foolish for not seeking any sort of retribution with such an ample oppurtunity... but you know what? It's not worth my time to be angry at you. I've got other emotions I'd rather spend my energies cultivating."

[Mr Dust]

Indeed, you are very civil, and you have listened to my apology. For that, I am extremely grateful. And you seem to have a good soul, on the whole.

The problem I see is that you associate with Diego. The only problem this presents is that he kills indiscrimitately. If you are with him, that would imply that you agree, or at least condone, his actions. And that, I fear, is a near insurmountable obstacle.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Name someone who didn't deserve to die by his hand... or paw, if you will."

She rested her hands on the tabletop as well, leaning forward a bit. "I'm with him because he accepts me, and with him I can accept myself. Do I enjoy killing people?" A pause, then she went on. "... Yes. I do. But only the ones who I think deserve to die.

"Of course mine and your reasonings may differ, so you just might look at my actions as unwarrented."

[Mr Dust]

He shakes his head slowly.

No... he has killed others... innocents, simply for the sake of hunting someone down. I can understand killing a man in a fight, or if he has attacked you, or even if he has done something very wrong in his past. But Diego has killed simply for the thrill of it. It may have been before you met him, but it has happened.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She gave another smirk. "But hunting is so much fun...

"Even I enjoy a good chase and... well... dismemberment, you might say. Even if he killed innocents, it shouldn't matter. Everyone does; whether it's direct or indirect, people still die by others decisions or lack thereof."

[Mr Dust]

His eyes widen, aghast. The sheer coldness... the cruelty.

It shouldn't matter? There is a difference, and you know it full well! How can there not be a difference between fighting an opponent who can defend himself, as opposed to slaughtering an innocent who cannot. How can you see the two as equal?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"I can because it happened to me," she answered evenly, no trace of emotion in her voice.

"And you know what? Alot of the time I don't even care anymore. The line has been so blurred for me that only in some cases will I stop myself.

"But...

"That doesn't happen very often anymore."

[Mr Dust]

It doesn't need to be that way. Why do this to yourself? This Force user you spoke of... would he approve of your actions? Would you want him to find out about you killing people at a whim?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She looked away at the mention of Millard. "I don't care what he thinks of my actions, and I don't want to think about him anymore. Like I said before, that part of my life is over." It hurt so much to say those words, and s'Il could feel something inside her seem to cry out as she spoke. But to her, it was the truth. She couldn't go back. Ever. "I have a new life now, one that Diego graciously allowed me, and no matter what you may think, I'm grateful.

"He's opened my eyes on many things that I would've otherwise not known."

She leaned back then, her gaze falling to the glass nestled in her hand. "... though... he didn't tell me about you or your kind. I had to find out the hard way; though even that was a lesson in itself."

[Mr Dust]

Mr. Dust looks closely at the woman, studying her face. At the moment she said, "that part of my life is over," she seemed to wince, almost imperceptibly.

I don't believe you. You don't truly want to lose your past, no matter what you say. You may have convinced yourself on the surface, but look deep... I don't think you have truly given up.

Weren't you the one who told me not to deal with what a person is, but who they are? Why, then, have you given up so easily? You are now a Lupine, and that cannot be changed. But what is stopping you from rising above that? You have accepted this change like a death sentence. It need not be so.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Well of course I don't want to lose it," she grumbled, "but it's not like I can do anything about it; I was selfish at first, and kept living with him; that selfishness resulted in me attacking him when he used the force accidentally."

She looked back up at him. "I know who I am... I may not like it at times, but I know exactly who I am and what drives me.

"As far as it being a death sentence, how would you recommend I see it as? I lost my previous life; forfeit the moment I was stung... all I can do now is pull the scraps back together and build over them."

[Mr Dust]

Once. It happened once. Do you not think you could work around it? There must be a way. There is always a way. You can't give up. You can indeed do something about it. You merely have to try.

And you of all people should be the last to accept a death sentence. You have died twice, yet here you are, alive once more. Will you survive twice to simply fold now? You seem stronger than that.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"I haven't folded, I simply took the wreckage and rebuilt. It may not be the same as it was before, but it's a life."

She looked into his eyes. "And why are you so concerned all of a sudden, and for a Lupine; isn't that a little un-Gaurdian-like?"

[Mr Dust]

You may misunderstand our purpose. Guardians protect those from the evil of most Lupines. The way I see it, you are a victim of Lupine violence, and thus, you fall under the category of a person I should protect. Thus the reason I wish to help.

And you have folded. If you had not, you would be back with the man you left behind.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

s'Il glowered at him. "You think I'm a victim? I assure you; I may not be happy sometimes, but I've embraced what I have left with open arms."

She went silent then, watching him with a hard gaze while letting his last words sink in.

"If I go back, something would happen. It might not be right away, but it would happen. Trust me. This is better than if I killed him because of some stupid mistake or slip of control.

"So don't try to tell me what I have and haven't done. I appreciate it to a degree, but you really don't know what's happened to me." She leaned forward again, an unwavering stare sent into his eyes. "And if you think I'm worth protecting, you could've fooled me with your urge to beat me to the ground when we first met."

[Mr Dust]

You hide your fear behind anger. Yes, you are a victim of a Lupine attack. What would you call yourself? A victor?

And you do not know what will happen if you return. You may gain a measure of control over your situation as well. Are you honestly willing to live the rest of your life without him? Do you want to wound him in such a way? Do you even know if he would be willing to take the risk? Until you ask, you will never know.

He leans forward as well, matching her stare with one of his own.

I have apologized for my actions. I misjudged you earlier. Please do not make me reconsider my judgement of your character.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Fine. You say I'm a victim, then I'm a victim. But you know what? I really don't care about that anymore. I do what I can now, and what I have to do.

"Do you think I wanted to leave? Sometimes in life we can't do what we want; we have to do what's best for others.

"And that's what I did. I care for him too much to run the risk of anything happening again."

She didn't let up, her metallic eyes still locked with his. "Now as for your apology, I am grateful that you found it within yourself to explain to me why you did what you did; most people don't.

"So thank you."

[Mr Dust]

He nods his head in deference to her point.

I understand that. I applaud your strength. Many would give up at such a blow. And I see that you only wish to protect him. But you must also realize, you have struck a blow to him, as well. In fact, you may have hurt him more than you did when you attacked him. You left, without giving him any chance to try to help. For many, that can be devastating.

And you're welcome. I do not like making mistakes. However, once I have made them, I want to be sure they are resolved.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"It's not like I left without telling him," she sighed, leaning back to look at him from a little more of a distance. "I told him when he visited me... in a detention cell.

"It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

[Mr Dust]

I cannot even begin to imagine. What did he have to say in response?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"What do you think he said?"

She lolled her head to the side, feeling the effects of the bottle of sake. "He wasn't happy, but didn't stop me, either."

[Mr Dust]

Then why not go back to him? You said he is a Force user. Give him some silver, or cortosis. If you change, the pain from one of the two should bring you back to your senses. Is it not at least worth the effort?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her eyes widened at his suggestion. "Are you kidding? Do you know what I had to do the last time I got burned with those? It was by you, and I had to cut all the scar tissue away; I couldn't even do the ones on my face; Diego had to pin me to a tree and slice them off... "

She harrumphed, then looked down to the table, letting a memory invade her. "I couldn't even wear the engagement ring he gave me; it was silver... "

[Mr Dust]

Then coat it in gold. There is always a way, s'Il.... always. You can get around this problem if you try.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Look," she said finally, letting out a heavy breath. "It's already over and done with. He hunts me, I run. It's as simple as that."

Resting her head on her arms, she lay halfway over the table. "And besides," s'Il mumbled, going on, "... when did you become Mr. Shrink?"

[Mr Dust]

Why not let him catch you? What's the worst that could happen?

He chuckles at her jibe.

Very funny. I just... dislike seeing you in pain. That is the main reason I came to talk to you. Seeing your pain at the end of our fight was... too much. The truly evil Lupines never admit pain. But you did.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"If I let him take me back, then it would all happen again. I won't let that happen."

His next words surprised her a little, and she looked at him with a sidelong glance from her semi-prone position. "You didn't like seeing me in pain? That's a new one... but... well... " she was a little taken aback, and her fingers tapped against her cup. Expelling a breath, she heaved herself up, pouring the last of the bottle into the empty glass.

"Is that why you left in such a hurry; or was it that bolt in your leg... " she grinned wryly.

[Mr Dust]

You don't know it will happen again. Perhaps an electrical shock would bring you out of it, or maybe a tranquilizer. Or any number of things. There are always options.

He laughs at her comment, grinning at her.

Well, I wasn't in much of a hurry... the bolt prevented that. And though I didn't like seeing you in pain, being in pain wasn't much better.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She took a drink, grumbling a little.

"I don't wanna have to live my life needing to be stunned everytime I fly off the handle... not my idea of a fun way to spend the rest of my days."

Setting the cup down, she rested back, utterly relaxed. A few moments of silence settled between the two before she posed another question. "If... if Diego hadn't shown up...

"What would you have done?"

[Mr Dust]

I have doubts that it'd have to be used often. It would simply be a fail safe, just in case.

He peers at her a moment, weighing the question in his mind.

What would I have done? Not much, honestly. You were done with that shot. I would have carried you to a bacta tank and let you recover. I have no wish to kill you. And contrary to what you may think, no Guardian ever kills a Lupine unless there is no alternative. We are still Jedi, you know.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She mulled over what he'd said, letting it sink in, and after another drink looked at him.

"I didn't really think you'd kill me; pummel me yes, but kill? Well, at the very best I hoped you wouldn't."

Once more lying across her end of the table, she turned lazy metallic eyes up at him. "What's it like," she said finally, "always chasing after something; someone? Or is it one of those 'chance encounter' things; if you see a Lupine you confront them... ?"

[Mr Dust]

No... I wouldn't kill unless I had to. In your case, it was never an option.

We do a little of both. We are basically specialized police. But as for what it's like... it's a calling. A sacred trust. Over all, it is an honor. Why do you ask?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her hand rested around her cup as she stared up at him.

"A 'calling'," she murmured.

She thought over what he'd said, her fingers tapping against the cup to produce light tinks as her nails hit the smoothed surface. Beneath the table, she crossed her legs; an unconscious thought for the most part. As she shifted her feet, the toe of her boot came to rest against one of his legs. In her state of mind though, s'Il didn't bother to move.

"I was just curious," she ventured, "Like I said before; Diego never told me about your kind."

[Mr Dust]

Mr. Dust notes the way she says "calling" and notes her mood.

s'Il, please don't misunderstand... I take no pleasure in causing you pain. Merely in protecting people. And you have to understand, meeting a Lupine with your outlook on life is more than rare.

As to why he never told you, who knows? Maybe he simply never expected to see one of my kind here.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Hmph."

She still looked up at him, studying his expressions and the way he held himself. In a sort of twisted way he reminded her of Millard; how almost sickeningly polite he was. She turned her head away then, as the thought of the Grand Admiral came to the forefront of her mind, and s'Il shut her eyes, pushing it back down.

"I'm not misunderstanding you; it just strikes me a little oddly; that you'd want to do the same thing for your entire life... that you'd want to chase after a group of people, or even a select few."

She opened her eyes once more, staring up at him. "Tell me, knowing what you know about me now, if I were to kill someone in your presence, would you deem me worthy to die?"

[Mr Dust]

Things are a bit different here... and my calling will have to expand. I cannot simply protect others from Lupines. There is too much evil of all forms, so I must adapt. But as for doing this my whole life, I don't mind at all. It gives me a purpose, a place in life.

He pauses after her next question. He must be careful not to say the wrong thing... there is no way of knowing how she would react.

Hmm... let me answer your question with a question. If I were to kill Diego in front of you, would you deem me worthy to die?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

That one startled her a little, and she took in a sharp breath. "I... don't really know."

It was a truthful answer; she honestly had no idea if she would kill the man or not, and she said as much. "I have no idea if I would or not; on one hand Diego put me in the situation I'm in, but on the other he took me in... I share everything with him now.

"I'm his."

[Mr Dust]

The last phrase startles him. Without thinking, he grabs her hand in his.

You are your own. You are not owned by anyone. And if he is trying to hold you, and you don't wish to be held... I can help.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

His action was surprising, and she looked up at him with slightly surprised eyes.

"You'll help? Why would you want to? Besides, just because I'm his doesn't mean I don't want to be."

She didn't pull her hand back though, allowing him to hold it. "And besides; I'd have nowhere to go if you did kill him."

[Mr Dust]

I help because I am a Jedi and a Guardian. We are not rascist slayers of another race... we are defenders. And you seem to need defending.

And if I free you from him, you would have many places to go. You could return to your lost love, for one.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She rolled her eyes. "I don't need freeing. Honest. I'm happy for the most part where I am right now.

"I'm content."

She breathed in deeply then, letting the scents permeating the bar and grill to invade her senses. "I like my life," she gripped his hand then, pulling it towards her in order to study his fingers.

"And I like being with Diego," she finished absently, her own fingertips lightly going over the lines of his palm.

[Mr Dust]

Having her continually run her fingers over his hand was rather distracting indeed. He clears his throat and speaks.

Are you sure you do? Do you never miss the man you left behind? Do you not wish to be free?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Oh I miss him, why wouldn't I? I mean, I was ready to spend my life with him; but that part of my life is closed now. Nothing I can really do about it. "

She continued to run her fingers over his hand, and eventually she began using her nails in a barely defined pattern that laced over his palms and down to his wrist.

"The fact of the matter is I chose to go to Diego; to stay with him, to learn from him; to be taken in by him."

She kept her eyes on his for a brief moment before looking at his hand as she traced her fingernails over its soft, pale surface.

"Or would you rather I not have all the happiness I can get... ?"

[Mr Dust]

The pattern she weaves on his hand becomes more and more distracting. He is not used to this form of contact.

s'Il, I would like for you to be happy. I merely want to be sure you do not trade true happiness for what you think is happiness now.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"At least it's something," she ventured offhandedly, "... which is better than nothing."

She'd emptied the last of the second bottle of sake into her body over the course of their convorsation, and was feeling mellow at the moment. A content smile spread over her features as she stared at his hand. She could feel a small bit of uneasiness from just a touch, and gripping his hand with both of hers, she held his fingers out.

Leaning down, s'Il lightly kissed his open palm.

"Are you nervous... ?" she asked lightly, looking up at him from the top of her eyes.

[Mr Dust]

His eyes widen once more at her actions. He gently but firmly pulls his hand back away from hers.

Uneasy may be a better word. May I ask your intentions? I must say, I am rather confused by them.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Why do I need a reason to do the things I do... ?"

She stared at him, her gaze soft as she leaned her chin down on her arms which lay folded on the table, still keeping her eyes on him.

"... Can't I simply do them?"

There was a trace of disappointment in her voice as he pulled his hand away, and she blinked slowly. "And why so uneasy? I haven't threatened you, have I?"

[Mr Dust]

He smirks slightly.

Oh, EVERYONE has a reason for what they do. Otherwise, why would anyone do anything? I am merely attempting to understand your motivation.

He ponders her final question a moment, searching for the proper words.

I... am uneasy, yes. But not for the reasons you may think. You, as you have stated, "belong" to Diego. I, however, do not think I can simply ignore his actions. He must be called to account. As I stated earlier, I do not wish to see you in pain. Would it not pain you to see me cause him harm? For that very reason, I am slightly uncomfortable with your actions.

It is nothing personal, I assure you.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She shrugged, reaching out to bring his hand back to the middle of the table. Her grasp was soft, but her grip itself was firm, and as she held his fingers open once more, she let a finger trace one of the more prominant wrinkles.

"If it was nothing personal, then why feel the need to pull away... "

She could smell him, her senses still hightened from the previous night, and with a slight intake of breath, she leaned across the table, bringing her face close to his though it was tilted to the side a little. Her metallic eyes looked into his with not only intense curiosity, but determination as well.

"... or is one day of... relaxation... not good enough for you... ?"

[Mr Dust]

His eyes narrow slightly as her words register in his mind. He allows his hand to remain where it is, but his tone is suddenly more... polite. More polite, and more distant.

I am afraid I would have to decline. Do you truly realize what you are asking? You yourself said that you "belong" to Diego. Do you not think he would detect me on you? You would be willing to trade, as you put it, "one day of relaxation" for a lifetime of hurt? I doubt that Diego would take such a thing lightly.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Staring at his hand for a few seconds, s'Il took in a breath. Then she shrugged. "You can think what you want; I do things for the sake of simply doing them; I'll deal with the consequences later. I always have."

She looked up then, blinking once. "... but let's pretend Diego wasn't in the equation... what then... ?"

[Mr Dust]

In that case, your offer is certainly more... inviting...

He pauses for a moment, choosing his words.

...but in the end... it is empty. A moment's pleasure for a lifetime's regret? I cannot make such a choice, I fear.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Inviting... "

Letting his hand go, s'Il leaned back, staring up into his eyes.

"As for it being an empty and regretful experience, why does it have to be... ? A moment can be carried into eternity... I would've thought that that sentiment wouldn't be lost on someone like yourself... "

She leaned forward again.

"Just for one day; forget barriers, forget battlelines and differences, ignore your daily role as a Guardian... leave it all behind, just once."

[Mr Dust]

He laughs lightly, looking down for a moment. He meets her eyes once more.

It sounds simple, doesn't it? But reality is not like that, I am afriad. For, if I put down my mantle as Guardian today, it must be taken up again tomorrow. No event happens in a vacuum. Any actions will always have repurcussions.

And even if they did not, I would do such things. It is simply not right... I will wait until I have made a commitment to a mate. Not before.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"For a guy who can make himself almost immaterial, you sure give reality way too much credit."

Resting her arms on the table, she breathed deeply, letting the ambiance of the bar saturate her senses.

"And besides. You can't honestly tell me you're not at least curious to know what would happen if you just let go for a day."

[Mr Dust]

One must have a firm footing in reality... otherwise, how would I find my way back?

He chuckles lightly, and considers her words.

Curious? Of course, I've wondered. But I scarcely need to do something to be sure of the consequences. I have wondered what falling off a cliff would be like, but I have yet to try it.

A thought suddenly occurs to him, and his eyes narrow.

Wait a moment... why this sudden intrest in me? When I walked in, you barely wished to speak to me. Now, you're offering yourself to me? I must doubt your motivations...

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She shrugged then. "Think what you want, I don't care.

"As for me not wanting to speak to you when you first came up to me, it was caution on my part; that and you were holding that damn hat. Now, you've offered to actually sit and talk, and I'm figuring you have no intention of attacking me... again...

"And who said anything to the effect of me offering myself to you?

"You flatter yourself."

[Mr Dust]

I have no intention of attacking you until it becomes warranted. I will not make the same mistake twice.

And do not mistake my formality for naïveté. I am no fool. If that is not what you were suggesting, do tell, what did you mean?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"I was simply saying that if you were to drop everything for one day, to let it all go for a brief while and spend that day with someone who had no intentions or plans for that day as it were, that you just might come away with a better understanding of an individual. Pleasure can be construed in so many ways, and doesn't have to be limited to acts of intimacy...

"Why jump to that conclusion?"

[Mr Dust]

He inclines his head forward in a bow.

Well, excuse me then, miss. Your demeanor and attitude appeared to be... hinting toward something.

And I get the distinct impression that you wanted me to jump to that conclusion. What exactly are you trying to accomplish?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She smirked.

"You still do it; you don't look past first appearances.

"The first time I was just another Lupine that needed to be given a thrashing... and now, just because I kiss your hand and talk of pleasurable activities, you think I wish something more from you other than company?"

With a snort, she turned in her seat to prop her legs up on the cusion.

"I simply wanted to see if you still looked at the outward appearance of something. You came to those conclusions on your own."

[Mr Dust]

He leans back in his chair, smirk on his face.

And you make everything out to have a second, or third, or even fourth meaning. Can you not speak plainly for once, woman? Or must you always get your jollies by speaking in riddles?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

s'Il rolled her eyes, then flagged down a server, ordering yet another bottle of sake.

When she turned back to Dust, she matched his smirk.

"Confused yet?"

[Mr Dust]

He cannot help but laugh at the sheer absurdity of the situation.

Indeed, Miss s'Il, I am. Enjoying yourself, I assume?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Oh always."

Resting a hand around her cup, s'Il stared at him.

"You didn't honestly think I'd want to do anything like that with you, did you?"

[Mr Dust]

With you, I would be willing to expect anything. I have very little idea of your true motivations on anything.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

The droid returned with s'Il's bottle, and handing over a sum of credits, she watched as the automaton trundled off before letting her gaze go back to Dust.

"Well then, that makes two of us."

Sliding from her seat, s'Il heaved herself to her feet, bottle in hand to take back and share with Diego.

"I only know who I am; why I do things is still vague... Diego has done well to teach me why though, so maybe sometime I'll find out for myself."

[Mr Dust]

Seeing her rise, he stands to his feet, remembering his manners. He bows to her.

Thank you for hearing me out, Miss s'Il. I do hope we may remain civil in the future.

He turns to leave, and speaks over his shoulder.

Though... I would choose a better teacher than Diego, were I you...

He continues on, going to retrieve his saber and hat.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She headed for the door herself, smirking at his last words. He could think what he wanted; she knew where her loyalties were, at least.

"Well then, it's a good thing you aren't me... " she turned a little to look back at him, "... if you knew some of the things I've done, you'd blush."

[Mr Dust]

He plops his hat onto his head, tapping it once for good measure, and stows his saber under his cloak. He tips his hat and winks.

You have obviously judged me too quickly. I would wager I could color your cheeks as well, madam.

You interpret that phrase as you will. Good day.

With that, he turns and walks away.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Striding out the door, s'Il called to him one last time, her smirk growing.

"If you have the courage, than by all means go right ahead."

And pushing the doors open, she stepped outside.

[Mr Dust]

He laughs to himself and continues walking, speaking under his breath...

Another time, madam... another time...