Turning around (Closed to Figrin-Completed)

[Kelt Simoson]

He just could not get to sleep, it was a hot and sweaty night. His balcony door was open, all the windows were open yet it was like sitting in a oven. Nah, it was no good, he had to get out of the stuffy room and go take a cold walk in one of the many cool halls of the Temple that would settle him down.

Kelt smiled and lazily got out from his bed, he looked towards the clock and smiled shaking his head it was only 3 minutes past one and no way was he going to get back to sleep now, that was it for the rest of the night and a very sleepy day....great. Crossing his room he whipped a dressing gown on quickly,tied the belt and walked out onto the cool corridor where there was a draft twenty four seven, Kelt sighed with a satisfied smile and then looked down the corridor.

Kelt took notice of something then, every single light was off down the corridor except one which was coming though from under his or her door. Perhaps the Jedi was awake doing some work or studying,perhaps he needed help?. Kelt couldn't ignore why the Jedi in question was up so late, he had to go and see if he was alright. Kelt almost tip toed past many of the doors till be came to the door in question and lightly tapped on the door.

'Hello?...i say..hello?..are you okay?' Kelt whispered strongly though the door.

[Figrin D'an]

Figrin sat in his favorite reading chair, his legs proped up on a footstool and slightly crossed. The room was dark, except for the small lamp just over the chair's left rear quarter, projecting it's light downward onto the pages of an old text. The Jedi gently turned the crisp pages of the book, his eyes smoothly passing from one word to the next as he comprehended their meaning. He had acquired the text just a few days before... a compiled account of the great battle of Ruusan. It was old... over 1000 years, assembled by a noted historian who visited the planet several years after the epic conflict between the Jedi and the Sith. Just by touching the paper, Figrin felt himself touching a part of the past.

A knock came at the door. The Jedi was startled a bit. He could hear a voice on the other side of the door, yet one that he did not immediately recognize.

Figrin placed the open book face down on the reading table as he stood up. He tossed on his dark evening robes and secured the waist tie, covering his modest white sleeping clothes. He glanced at the chronometer.

'It's after 1 AM... who would be calling at this hour?,' he pondered.

He pushed the thought from his mind for the moment, and tapped the keypad by the door. It slid open, revealing a young man... a Jedi... one that seemed to have a bit of insomnia, but a curious look on his face as well. After brief moment, Figrin believed the man to be Kelt Simoson.

"Good evening... or, good morning more appropriately," Figrin began. "Is there something I can do for you. There usually aren't too many wandering the halls at this hour."

[Kelt Simoson]

' I was thinking exsactly the same for you Master D'an' He said suprised to the fact he had just disturbed a person he had not seen in a while. ' I couldent sleep actualy and saw your light on, i wonderd if you were okay or not...i apologise.' Kelt said smiling nervously.

Kelt had not seen Masrer D'an in quite some time now, it actualy was a pleasant suprise rather than the oposite but never the less an apology was in order.

[Figrin D'an]

Figrin smiled slightly at the comment.

"I'm quite well, thanks. I was just doing a bit of reading, and it would appear that I lost track of the time."

The Jedi Master could tell that there was much on the mind of the person that now stood in his doorway. The hour was not ideal, but Figrin didn't want to turn away a troubled soul.

"There is no need to apologize. I've been a bit of a night-owl lately myself."

"Please," Figrin motioned, "Come in. Perhaps some conversation can cure that insomnia of yours."

[Kelt Simoson]

' Oh thank you sir....' Kelt said rather suprised by Master D'an's offer. Kelt had infact half expected a raher annoyed Figrin but had met totaly oposit of what he had thought the Jedi to be.

' Thank you for this offer sir, i am up due to the heat, it is positivly sweltering in my dorm and once awake i cannot get back to sleepsir.' He said smiling remaining to stand.

[Figrin D'an]

Figrin motioned for Kelt to have a seat in the chair opposite of his own reading chair.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll get us something to drink."

Figrin left the main living room, only to return a few minutes later with a sizeable caraf of hot liquid, and two mugs. He placed the mugs on the reading table between the now seated Kelt, and his own chair. Figrin poured a generous amount of the light brown liquid into each mug, then placed the caraf on the center of the table.

The Jedi Master picked up his mug and held it under his nose, taking in the pleasent smells.

"Leyola root tea," he said. "It's something that Master Yoghurt introduced to me many years ago. I find it helps to calm the mind."

He took a small sip of the tea, then placed it back on the table to cool.

"So... troubles sleeping. It has been rather hot lately."

Figrin paused for a moment.

"But... I sense there is something else... perhaps making it all the more difficult to sleep..."

He studied Kelt's face, waiting for the young Jedi to respond.

[Kelt Simoson]

Taking the tea into his weather beaten hands he smelt the contence of the cup, nodded approvingly and took the steaming liquid to his lips and sipped cautiously. Again suprised by Figrins genarosity he smiled towards his fellow Jedi ' Thank you Master D'an'.

The the answer to Master D'ans question was a tough one to explain, Kelt was a private man and hardly spoke of his troubles to anyone else but his good friend Dasquian who had recently been assigned to Council duties which took up a great deal of his time. Kelt was troubled, but he did not know why. He was split between his Crusader duties and Jedi duties both which held the same goal but the path to the goal went in different directions, and Kelt, the poor lad was at the cross roads.

'I don't know what troubles me Master Figrin, its at the back of my mind and on the tip of my tounge yet i cant find the source of my sadness.'He said honestly.

[Figrin D'an]

'Sadness,' Figrin quietly pondered. So often, the Jedi focused on controlling emotions such as fear, anger, jealously... sadness and depression were sometimes not given their due consideration. The Jedi life was a very difficult one. It was a constant test of ones personal mettle and strength of will. But, for the right mind, it could be very fulfilling. A depressed Jedi was one that was vulnerable to the ever subtle temptations of the Dark Side, and one that must be counseled.

Figrin leaned back in his chair and gently rubbed his beard with his thumb and forefinger, formulating his reply.

"Have you been pleased with your experiences as a Jedi? Do you find yourself yearning for something more... something beyond what you can learn from the Order?"

[Kelt Simoson]

'No sir...the Order provides more than what i need to be honest.' he said with a quick smile. And it was true the Order had taken him in technicaly as a lost man and made him find himself. 'Im just....Im just torn between the Order and my past duties as a Crusader sir...' He said looking down into hismugof tea.

[Figrin D'an]

The surface of the matter was finally being scratched, thought Figrin. But it ran much deeper than the young Jedi wanted to acknowledge.

"You're very attached to your past life... it must not have been easy to leave behind."

Figrin took a small sip of tea, then leaned forward, clasping his mug with both hands.

"Do you find yourself wondering what your life would have been like if you had remained true to your Crusader heritage?"

[Kelt Simoson]

'Crusaders are much like Jedi...only they fight for justice and not just try to prevent it, and then i was sent away with the New Republic from my Order to try to forge friendly terms with the jedi and such....i have found this to me myhome...the Crusader Order...well...Ask Yuran..we were not allowed to have offspring unless we left the order...we... He stoped and looked around himself.

' Well...we were not allowed to mate sir...' They hadsome laws in whic my heart did not hold true..the Jedi however...well...i have freinds here...Hrolthar, Dasquian....your sir a...and my master..Mr.Q'Dunn'[/i] He said with a scared smile.

' Myhome and duty is here....'

[Figrin D'an]

The Jedi Master noded slightly in acknowledgement.

"And yet you do not want to disobey the code of honor held by your Crusader forefathers."

Figrin set his mug upon the table.

"I am grateful that you think of so many of us as friends. I know that I speak for all the Jedi when I say that we are grateful in return to have you here among us."

He paused for moment, then reached for he tea caraf and poured a small amount into his half empty mug to warm it.

"You are clearly concerned about dishonoring Crusader law by having a family... is there someone that your thoughts dwell upon, or are you mearly concerned about how the Order would react to the prospect?"

[Kelt Simoson]

'Im lonley sir if you wantme to be perfectly honest...i have never had the companionship of a female and i would like to, i also feel i am to violent as a fighter to be in the jedi..imust tone it down...' He said sadly placig his empty cup on the side table.

[Figrin D'an]

Figrin noded contemplatively.

He stood up from his chair, and slowly moved towards the window near the table. He stared out into the night, thinking of the best way to aid the young man in his journey.

"Violence in battle is often difficult to avoid. It is an unfortunate truth of our lives as Jedi. I myself have always been an advocate of diplomacy and reason... but my lightsabre has seen more than it's share of use over the years. It's natural to dwell on incidents of the past... wondering if you could have done things differently, thinking that maybe you didn't try hard enough to avoid a conflict..."

Figrin turned back to Kelt, his voice now calm and reassuring.

"Even Jedi can be violent. It is how we handle behind that violence that determines our character. If we act out of aggression and anger, we can fall prey to the temptations of the Dark Side. But if we act with our principles of upholding the will of the Force and serve the greater good, then we have merely done our duty as the guardians of peace."

Figrin paused again, giving his words a moment to sink in. He smiled, looking to raise Kelt's spirit.

"Look inside your heart, and ask yourself if your actions have been true to yourself and the principles you hold dear. You'll likely find that, just by expressing a concern for your own actions, you've taken a key step that every Jedi must eventually take."

The Jedi Master sat back down in his chair.

"As for companionship...," Figrin laughed a little, "I'm probably not the best person to ask. I have chosen not to bind myself to another. Others have chosen to seek that kind of companionship. Many ages ago, most Jedi did not have a choice, as marriage and intimate relationships were forbidden to all except for a few that were bound by cultural traditions. Even in those cases, being granted permission was not always guaranteed."

The Jedi thought for a moment.

"You might want to seek out one of the married Jedi for a different point of view, as I can only offer one. Beyond that, I can only offer you some words given to me by one of my mentors, many years ago. 'One who truly loves you, will not try to change who you are.' I've found that to be true in friendships, and I know that many have found it to be true in deep matters of the heart."

[Kelt Simoson]

Kelt thought for a few moments before coming to a conclussion of what he was thinking. He had never talked to anyone in such a way as he was with Master D'an and so he was a little nervous. 'I can see where you are coming from sir and agree as i was brought up like you also, but even if mating was not apart of it, would you not like a female companion?' He asked with a certain shaiver in his voice.

[Figrin D'an]

Figrin smiled and laughed a bit.

"Everyone, even Jedi, think about that kind of companionship at some point in their lives. The desire to share one's life intimately with another person can be a very compelling and driving force. But there are also other things that can make life fulfilling as well. It really is a personal choice. There is no universal right or wrong answer. There is only what is right or wrong for you as an individual."

Figrin became more solemn as he continued.

"I, just like you, and just like a thousand Jedi before me, have though about companionship during the course of my life, and I likely will revisit it again at some point. For the moment, however, I am content with the path that my life is taking. My Jedi duties, along with my scholarly pursuits and my work as an ambassador, have made my quite happy."

The Jedi Master sat back in his chair, relaxing a bit, both in stature and in tone.

"But, as I said, you may wish to seek other opinions on this matter, as I can only offer what my experience has given to me."

[Kelt Simoson]

' Im sorry i have put this all down upon you Master Figrin, but as you know Master Q'Dunn is hardly here anymore which makes me unhappy as i would love to discuss this with him and not give you this heavy weight of listning to me jabber on...'

' But i under stand perfectly where your coming from sir..i only wish i could place it into practice...' Kelt said finishing his tea. ' I wonder if i will ever be graced with the word of Knight, my master does not train me any more ether...' Kelt smiled sadly and looked down

[Figrin D'an]

Figrin returned the smile, though his was more hopeful.

"Becoming a Jedi Knight is one of the most challenging tasks a person can undertake. But, everything that I have seen and heard of you would indicate that you are up to that challenge."

"There has never been a Jedi that hasn't encountered some hardship on the path to becoming a Knight. How you overcome that difficulty says much about your character. But, how each person chooses to move past it is a choice for them alone."

He paused, recollecting his thoughts.

"Your day of Knighthood will come. You owe it to yourself to believe that you will reach that goal."

[Kelt Simoson]

' hmm...' Kelt thought on it a few moments before looking to Figrin, perhaps his time would come, pehaps it would come after he had managed to settle his issue with his fast faction, the Templars Guild. He sa a few moments and then looked towards the window,a tinker of light had started to emerge from the clouds and he suddenly rearlised he had kept Figrin up talking about nothing but his own problems.

' Well, thank you Master Figrin for you advice and hospitality but it seems by the light of the day i have kept you up long enough...' Kelt said with a smile, by now he was tired and ready to take a few hours kip.

' I wont forget the lessions and words you have taught me today...your a real jedi and a real friend....' Kelt said placing the mug on the coffee table and standing up.

[Figrin D'an]

Figrin stood in kind, and moved with Kelt towards the entryway.

"Think nothing of it, my friend. By the very nature of our existence, Jedi must seek out aid amongst our own ranks. I can think of no better use of time than to help a fellow Jedi."

As Kelt turned to leave, Figrin spoke one last time...

"Stay true to yourself, no matter your path, and you will find the answers you seek."