Fighting Myself......(open)

[Xazor Elessar]

A dark figured entered Master Yoghurt's Bar and Grill. The hood of her black robes was drawn up over her head and concealed her face in the shadows. She spoke not a word as she moved past the guards and toward the back of the establishment to sit in the darkened corner usually occupied by Marcus Q'Dunn.....a mysterious Jedi Master. Her cyan eyes met the floor as she walked and she nearly ran into someone, though she did not stop to see who it was, and she continued on until she reached the shady little corner and sat down upon an old chair. It was as if this part of the Bar had been abandoned, or not kept up. It mattered not, for she rather enjoyed its quiet solitude. Leaning back to rest against the wall, the Knight's eyes stared out at everyone as thoughts of the day consumed her. She had defied everything that she had been taught...and had told the Council where to go. Her heart ached now and she felt terrible sadness and grief over all she had done.

Is there something wrong with me? Why am I like this? I'm not a good Jedi.....and for sure now, I shall never be a Master. I might as well give up....look what I have given myself......

The words of Master Anbira echoed in her mind and she pushed them away. Her problem had become an issue again though this time, she did not want to face it. Sighing as so many things bombarded her system, her eyes closed and she let herself dwell upon these thoughts.....though it was slowly killing her inside.

[Chance]

Distress and sadness, those two emotions struck Chance the hardest as he barely dodged a obsidian robed figure. Regaining his balance with a makeshift cane, his long-sword Solidis, the Blind Knight took a glance around as the force aura of the figure sat at a book in very back.

With furrowed brows, Chance slowly traced Xazor's steps with the scabbard tip of the sword popping lightly against the dead wooden floor. Calculating the distance slightly, Chance slid into the booth infront of the robe figure and then realised who it was.

"Bad day, Miss. Xazor?" He spoke, calmly and concerned...

[Wei Wu Wei]

Wei had entered the Bar and Grill, and found Xazor and Chance in the dark corner where Marcus sat.

He went over to them and in a quiet voice said, "I'm glad that you answered my question honestly Master Xazor. Even though you may not believe it, I admired you alot when you admitted that you had a trouble controlling your temper. By admitting our weaknesses, we are at our strongest, because we know where we are lacking."

Wei knew he was probably the last person Xazor wanted to talk to, but he just had to tell her that one thing.

"Like Grandpa used to say, 'one disease, long life. No disease, short life. Sorry to bother you Master Xazor, it seems like you have a lot to think about. I'll let you go. Hope you get to feeling happy again." Wei looked at the sad Knight for a moment before finally heading towards the door.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor's eyes snapped back into focus when her Knighted student sat down across from her.....concern and worry upon his face. She was just about to say something when Wei approached the table and spoke of admiring her for what she had done in the Council Chambers. Her eyes glared into his for a moment before she sighed and bowed her head.

"Even a student knows more than I at times. Perhaps wisdom is not found in those who hold titles....but in those who live by the truth, truly."

Her gaze cut from him after a moment and she turned to face Chance, a slight smile upon her lips. The Knight's eyes fell to meet the table top and she nodded slowly in reply to his question.

"Indeed.....I have seen brighter days. And you? How does life treat my dear friend whom I consider a Brother to me....."

She said with a warm look in her eyes. It was so good to have him back since only having seen him last during the time of his promotion. Taking a deep breath, the Garou sat back and eyed him curiously.....wondering for a moment how he had sensed she was having a bad day when indeed, he could see nothing at all.

[Chance]

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Chance gave a small smile, tilting his head to the side slightly.

"I as well have seen brighter days..." He spoke, unaware of her conflict within the council chambers, before adding "... Although, getting out this bar is a conflict within itself.''

Glancing down at the table himself, as a droid toitered up to Wei tootering. Quickly remembering what the Padawan had spoken to Xazor, Chance took the oportunity to inqire deeper,

"What, pray tell, is all the gloomyness about?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor sighed as she noticed his smile. He was so innocent and pure like the Light he served. She could not bare to tell him what her problem was.....though she knew that she must. She trusted him with her life....and this could not be too bad....could it?

"Chance.....you may not have known this of me....but I.....I have a problem. I am quick to anger and then....I use that anger. It's true....I do, and I have, very much so especially in the recent. That Padawan drug me into the Council Chambers to face my problem head on in front of everyone and....I did, then I told the Council off."

She said softly, lowering her head in shame. It was so hard to admit these things and tears stung at her eyes as she did so. Why am I this way? she questioned herself again. Sighing, she shook her head slowly.

"I know not what shall happen to me now.....I expect the worst."

[Chance]

"You're not the only one," Chance spoke, sencing surprise from Xazor. "Many apon many, myself being part of them, have used anger in bad judgement and still rectifiy themselfs of their mistakes."
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He glanced down at the table, sighing himself. "What you done must've been because of a good reason. Unlike me.."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor's eyes looked up to meet Chance's once again as he chastised himself. Lofting a brow, she shook her head.

"I went out to kill a man because he tried to take the life of my Brother. Perhaps that's good reason in my eyes.....but not in the eyes of everyone else."

This made her curious now as she looked upon him. He spoke of having no good reason for using anger....when had he used anger?

"Tell me now.....you have used anger against someone? Speak freely.....who am I to judge?"

She said softly with the same understanding in her voice that had always been there...


ooc: I like how you put the piccys up like that....very awesome! ;)

[Wei Wu Wei]

Wei was just at the door when he had realized that he remembered something else that could help with her anger. If she could not fix her short temper, then she would have to do something else with her anger. But he wasn;t sure she would appreciate more advice from him. She didn;t seem to like the idea of a Padawan teaching something to a Knight.

[Chance]

"I--" He started, somewhat afriad of the truth he was to reveal, "I.. killed... a tribe of people... mercilessly.."

Faltering, the Blind Knight stared down at the table with blasing blue eyes before continuing, "I was.... angered and sad.. all at once.. the men of the tribe.. they--they kil--lled Kanji, I couldn't see the bullet that did it.. and I blamed that on Vega Van Derveld.. then-then-- I just... attacked.."


ooc: Thank yas, Couldn't describe the facial expression well so pics did it for me :) :D

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor listened intently as Chance spoke the words. Her jaw about dropped when he said something of Kanji......being.....killed. Her heart stopped inside of her chest and all the Garou Knight could do was stare.

"He's...........no............no it can't be!"

She said as tears stung at her eyes once again. Suddenly they fell and cascaded down her cheeks. Wei escaped her mind momentarily though she felt him looking upon her. Whatever he had to say, he would have to seek her out later, for now was not the time for anything else. Sighing inwardly, she took a step back and inhaled deeply before saying anything.

"Perhaps others may not have thought it done in justice.....I would have done the same thing, sadly. You learned this from me!"

[Chance]

Instantly, "No! I did not learn this from you, Xazor. Nobody could've taught me of what I did, it was pure... pure..." He couldn't finish the sentance before his head struck the table harshly. Trying to keep the tears at bay, the memories from coming back, and the dreams halted, Chance rose his head and gave Xazor a meaning filled stare.

"If it's anyones fault, It's mine.. I let my guard down long enough for that Dark Lord to rob me of my sight. Do not blame yourself!"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor shook her head and sighed to herself.

"No, sadly enough I am at fault. It was I who did not teach you well enough to defend yourself. It is I who was in control of the situation inadvertantly."

She said softly as tears formed in her eyes. Her gaze fell to the table top once again and she let the moisture fall.

"I'm so sorry Chance....I'm so very sorry...."

[Chance]

Ach, she kept blaming herself for everything!

Chance slid both his arms onto the table and crossed them over each other. Staring into Xazor's tearful eyes, he began to speak.

"Listen, It isn't the teachers fault if the student does not listen well enough. It's my fault that I didn't pay enough attention and carelessly defended myself, sure, I defended against you quite well... but your not a Dark Jedi Lord!"

Pausing,

"You taught me well, and we both knew it. If you had not, then I would not be here talking to you, now would I?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor's eyes went from the table and met his. Her heart sank as he spoke and she shook her head.

"But look what he did to you! Augh! If........if certain situations were not holding me back I.........I'd go and blind him myself. I'd blind him from life!"

She growled and slammed her fist into the table.....breaking through the old wood. Sighing, she sat back as blood poured from her knuckles.

"I'm........I'm so confused.............."

[Marcus Telcontar]

The only mistake you made in my opinion is you didnt go and gut the bastard with a blunt razor blade.

Where was he? Didn't matter. He was not in the bar, but he was listening in from where he was.... in a medical ward, wondering if he would ever see again.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor had attuned herself out from her Life Bond with Marcus until she felt a great pain sting at her eyes. GAH! she thought to herself and winced slightly as he spoke in her mind. Focusing in, she tried to see where he was by looking through their Bond and seeing through his eyes.......but...........she could see nothing. Shaking her head slightly, she nodded in agreement to the Jedi Master's words and sighed, though she was even more confused now.

Thank you for supporting me Marcus....it means a lot. But a question.......why is my imagry of your location.......broken? I see nothing......

Her attention was drawn to the blood upon her nuckles and she sighed to herself. Perhaps she would be taking a trip to the med bay soon as well.....though her natural healing powers were doing nice work on their own. This day had 'opened her eyes' to many things now.......many.......

[Chance]

"Xaz, let me handle my own problems," He spoke softly as she sat back to nurse her wounded hand, Things were troubled enough for her than to add the worry and rage from Vega.

"Once I find him, I'll resolve the problem mysel---" Pausing, he looked at her with a questioning face, she seemed to be talking to someone, but noone else was there?

"What is it?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor sighed and shook her head. No one knew of her Life Bond with Marcus but Helenias and Dasquian. Her heart skipped a beat as she became aware of her possible 'give away' to the hidden fact.

"Nothing......I just feel a headache coming on."

She lied.....and did so pretty well. Sighing, she sat back and covered her hand with her other, realizing that she had broken a bone or two.

"Just be careful Chance...I would never forgive myself if something happened to you....."

[Chance]

With furrowed brows, Chance studied her for a moment before leaning back and relaxing. The hole in the table was pretty big, to divert his attention, and probally get replaced sooner or later.

"I got away from him the first time," He spoke, lifting his head up and pumping his fist into the air somewhat cartoonish, "I'll live through the second run!"

His little stunt didn't seem to be cheering the Knight up...

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor sighed and offered him a saddened smile.

"I'm sorry if my own problems are bringing you down. I'm supposed to be strong here, right? I guess the misconception of Knights and Masters rings true with my name...."

She said softly, eyeing the large gap in the tabletop. Hopefully it would be fixed soon.....though if she really wanted to, fixing it by means of the Force was an option. She did not feel up to it though...and so she refrained.

[Chance]

"Not a soul in this universe can be perfect, Xazor." Chance replied, waving a hand over the hole in the table and flexed the Force to bring the shattered wood together.

"It's like an endless cycle, something breaks and nobody want's to take the blame cause they want to be perfect in every way. You, on the other hand, take mistakes hard but then rectify it in some way. Like the new life you gave me,"

The peices of the table wouldn't converged smugly, so they fell to the floor again as Chance dropped the concentration, "Sometime's life gives you another pothole you have to cross before getting to the sunny beach.."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor sighed to herself as she watched Chance attempt to fix the hole in the table. His words held great depth and meaning and she nodded silently as he continued speaking.

"You gave yourself that new life though....it was you who made the choice, Chance. I was just the teacher.....and in order to have this life, one must learn, no matter if they are Padawan, Knight, or Master. I suppose there are lessons for all...."

She said softly and then moved her hand over the hole in the table. Concentrating deeply on the Force, she created the illusion that the hole was bigger and the pieces smaller....thus making it easier for the pieces to willingly fit together as before. They did so, going back to their original tight-knit form and then she broke the illusion of openness. The table was good as new.....or, close to it. She smiled and rubbed her hand over the spot with her throbbing hand.

".......And for the things we forget, I suppose reminders are not such a terrible thing. When one forgets the way, their pride can keep them from asking direction. If they drop it though....they'll find that sunny beach."

[Chance]

"I needed a cataclyst to actually move forward torward now," Chance watched as Xazor reformed the table too new and brushed at it with her injured hand. Reaching over, Chance sent calm waves into the wounded area, the bones and tissue reknitting together and the pain dulling as she continued.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," He responded as she finished, smiling.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently as Chance healed her hand. She could have done it herself, but her pride had gotten in the way....and it was good to see that he still remembered her lessons of healing.

"Indeed.....so once we reach that sunny place.....we pick up and move on with ourselves and those around us who we love."

She said softly with a nod of self confidence as she flexed her healed hand. A smile crossed her lips as she looked at her blind student. The Garou was so proud of him and how much he had learned....now he was teaching her lessons in life....and it was perfectly fine.

[Chance]

"Exactly!!" He cheered, grinning broadly..