The Fine line.

[Tyreal Dalarsco]

I've been friends with this girl scince forever, and the line between extremely close friends and couple is very blurred.
We havn't actualy said so, or gone on an actual date, or kissed, but we talk to each other about everything, and I've put my arm around her on ocassion, etc.
What side of the line do you think we are on?

[xsmokingmanx]

I can't tell you I was that close to a girl once and it end weird. You see for the longest time she had a crush on me and I didn't notice it I thought we where just really good friends. By the time I started to think we where begining to be more then friends she was tired of wasting her time on me and started looking else where.

It usaully ends weird when your really good friends and you attempt to move it to the next level.

[Wei Wu Wei]

Your straddling the fence. Keep on like you are. Don;t try to advance the relatioship at all. Go just like you have been! You are the man!

[Tyreal Dalarsco]

Yippy! I didn't screw something up for once!

[Sanis Prent]

Kiss her. You'll never know if you don't try.

[Tyreal Dalarsco]

I think THAT would be the worst possible thing I could do.

[xsmokingmanx]

Yeah but that can make freindship weird if a freindship is all it is.

[Dae Jinn]

Yeah, maybe she's just too shy to make the first move. :\ I wouldn't just make out with her, but a simple kiss would be okay :lol

[Tyreal Dalarsco]

No, that would probably end painfully in both senses of the word. She wears big boots.

[Wei Wu Wei]

:lol Dude, just let it flow. Do what feels comfortable around her, ok? If you have doubts about doing something, like kissing her, don;t do it, ok. Just relax, and have a good time with her, ok? Flow with the situation. It'll end up one hell of a lot better than if you tried to do something and you messed it up.

[xsmokingmanx]

don't kiss just ask here how she feels maybe. Then you won't get kicked in the jewels.

[Tyreal Dalarsco]

That last post was probably the smartest thing I red all day.:lol

[Sanis Prent]

DO NOT ask...arg that is moodkillingly lame.

[Dae Jinn]

just do what you think is best. sheesh :rolleyes

[Nathanial K'cansce]

What, asking to kiss or asking how she feels about you?

**Asking if one can steal a kiss works, trust me :angel **

[imported_Taja Loraan]

Or.. just kiss her on the cheek, maybe? o_O

[Jehova Eaven]

You're in the friend zone! Ah... the pit of eternal misery and loneliness.... sorry the friend zone thing happens to me a lot... Maybe its no tthe friend zone in this particular situation...

[Nasseeri Haalleerraa]

Give her a big one-armed hug, a kiss on the cheek and see what her reaction is.

If she didnt like it, you still save face by saying it was a 'friend' thing. And if she does like it....you'll probably know soon enough.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Good advice. DO NOT kiss her on the lips if you think you might be in the "friend zone!" It might freak her out. Unless the mood was right.....argh, its a hard question. Sometimes you just KNOW. And when you don't, that usually means it isn't right. :)

[Ryla Relvinian]

You could just ask her if she's got a crush on someone else... if she says no and then giggles and blushes, it's probably on you. If she says no with no blushing and giggling, she's just friends.

Or, you could just say, "Hey, I think I'd like to take you out on a date. You know, the you-me-dinner-movie thing. What about friday at six?" and go from there. The best dates always start with the best friends, at least from my experience. That way you've already covered that whole uncomfortable getting-to-know you stage. Just listen to her, ask her about herself, her family, how school is going, what her plans are for later in life... Be cool, take it slow, and good luck. :D

[Riley Chambers]

Ask her. A girl likes honesty, but be careful. Some things could be said that could make the situation rough.

[James Prent]

Women are like pirahnnas. Pirahnnas who may or may not have eaten already. Sometimes its ok to get into the water, and sometimes you get eaten.

[Sanis Prent]

I like my women like I like my coffee...in a paper cup, with a spoon stuck in em!

Seriously...I've never had a problem in communicating my feelings with girls. Sometimes, it just happens. Its really not something I can explain :)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

James' comment was very 'tongue in cheek,' btw. Speaking of tongue in cheek...*wanders off to get some*

*i WISH*

[Figrin D'an]

Well... I shall mearly say to be tactful, no matter what you do, and be prepared for a myrad of responses/reactions I've been in this situation a couple of times... it's not easy to deal with, but in the long run, it's better to find out for sure what the other person is thinking, be it favorable or not. The second-guessing and regret of not finding out is something that you will think about for a long time if you don't get a definitive answer.

[Sith Ahnk]

Originally posted by Lilaena De'Ville
James' comment was very 'tongue in cheek,' btw. Speaking of tongue in cheek...*wanders off to get some*

*i WISH*

Don't worry, I can make your dreams come true. ;)

I find the best way to get a girls attention is to have one night stands with those close to them. Her sister, her best friend... after this she'll be honest about how you feels about you without worrying about how you feel. And honesty in a relationship is key! If you don't have honesty, you don't have a relationship!

So go out and you should be able to get any girl! I can't, but I will someday! Con't hold me down forever!

[Sene Unty]

Ehhh just jump on her....girls like that!!!!!!!!!

[Sith Ahnk]

Originally posted by Sene Unty
Ehhh just jump on her....girls like that!!!!!!!!!

Unless she has bad knees.




Oh, you meant JUMP on her...

[Seerrasseei Tsseerra]

*bops Anhk and Sene* :mad

[Leeloo Mina]

....o_O

And no doesn't always mean yes.

[Tyreal Dalarsco]

I'm realy not sure what to do. I wouldn't want to accidentaly ruin the friendship, but she seems to be dropping hints, but I've mistaken carcasm for hints before. . .
God, women are like hedge mazes.

[Wei Wu Wei]

AAAAAHHHH! Sarcasm! I don;t do sarcasm well either, pal. As I said, just flow with things. Just forget about the ins and outs and all the details. Don' t focus on what could be, or should be, or whatever. Focus on what is. And what is right now is that you are very good friends with a girl that you like. Don;t worry about hints, or whatever and just go with it.

[Tyreal Dalarsco]

It's not realy a consious liking, but the feelings are there?
And on an unrelated note: Wei, are you in Mountain Time? We seem to be on at the same time an awful lot.

[mis feasance]

I know most of you dont know me but take it from personal experience, if you tell her it will end up better. I have wasted lots of time because the guy didnt say anything and once he did, it hit me " i really like this guy". I have always been honest with a guy that I like, especially when we were close. Even if we didnt end up together I felt better, the air was clear, and in the end our friendship was better for it. Just my two cents. Hope it helps. :)

[Silus Xilarian]

My only advice is, do something to make your feelings felt...If you have a relationship that you actually worry about ruining, then you wont ruin it just by making your feelings known. In the event she say no, then just put it behind you and continue being friends. If the answer's yes, then you'll reap the rewards.......

But.......

If you wait too long, you'll lose your chance, and you'll never forgive yourself.....

(BTW if you just wanna get in her pants, then this is the wrong discussion :p)

[TC-10]

You could just do like Master Xilarian....

Club her in the head and drag her back to your cave. It seems to circumvent the awkward and self-conscience actions you humans express when courting.

[mis feasance]

If you just wanna get in her pants, and I am not saying that is the case, then you will almost certainly ruin the friendship and any possibility of a relationship. Be careful on that subject, most girls are ver suceptible when it comes to sex because so much stigma surrounds women and the decision to have sex.

[Silus Xilarian]

most girls are susceptible to sex???

The why do I have to try so hard? Have I found a new breed of women who dont enjoy the rigors of sex? Or am I just ugly?:)

[mis feasance]

no you are not just ugly, what i meant is that girls are suceptible to the stigma around sex, not sex itself. they enjoy sex but are not duped into bed easily necessarily

[mis feasance]

i have a feeling every statement i make i only make this worse. :)

[Silus Xilarian]

ooooooooooooh ok....yah that sounds about right, about the difficulties in duping females into having sex....Theres hope for me after all :cool

[mis feasance]

there is hope for everyone, ...keeps interesting anecdote to herself :0

[Silus Xilarian]

Why cant women just be like men and have sex when its convient....sheesh :)

[Wei Wu Wei]

OK, at anyrate. Ty, we just might be. I live in Georgia, USA, and I have no clue what time zone that is. As for what Silus is saying about sex....if you ever ever ask a girl to have sex with you, kiss the whole relationship goodbye. You don;t ask a girl to have sex with you. It just happens.

If you want to express how you feel, then one day just take her by the hand when you go walking somewhere. If she takes her hand away right then, she's not interested, and to anyone else it looks like you two just bumped each other's hands. If she lets you hold if for a while then takes it away, then you are more than likely on your way to a boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship. It is best to hold her hand when you two are walking alone, or if you two are out at night. Gives her the impression that you not only like her, but it makes her feel safe. That's how it has been with all the girls I have held hands with.

[mis feasance]

I appreciate the validity of the hand holding scenario but it is not completely true that you cant just ask a girl to sleep with you. It all depends on the girl. Most guys underestimate how much a girl actually likes sex.

[Wei Wu Wei]

I just always got the feeling from most girls I talked to that once a guy asked a girl to have sex with him, for whatever the reason, the relationship was shot. Sure girls like sex. I think everybody likes sex. I just don;t think out right asking to have sex is the best way to do it. BACK ON THE SUBJECT PEOPLE! START ANOTHER THREAD IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT SEX! CAN;T YOU SEE THE MAN IS TRYING TO GET SOME ADVICE?? lol Tyreal, if you think this thread is getting hijacked, but want to talk some more, Pm me. I'll be glad to listen and help however I can.

[mis feasance]

it was not my intent to"highjack" the thread, i was just talking and seeing where this went.

[mis feasance]

it was my intent to give the insight of a woman who has been both at the receiving end of this situation

[Silus Xilarian]

Sorry, wasnt trying to hijack, just got off on a tangent...Though it is a credible conversation somewhat, but im sorry :)

[Wei Wu Wei]

Not pinning it on you. Sex might or (hopefuly)might not be an issue for the guy, but hes asking for advice. If he asks about sex, we talk about sex. Right now the guy just wants to let a girl know how he feels. So we should keep it narrowed down to that. PRevents confusion, don;t you know?

[mis feasance]

anyway. as to advice on the relationship, just tell her how you feel. honesty is always appreciated. if she is really someone worth being with (as a friend or otherwise) she will be honest too and then there will be nothing lingering between you.

[Judas Escariot]

Freinds with benefits!!!!! yep heh heh..............
sorry were we being suttle?

[Gurney Devries]

I'm hardly the best person to ask for relationship advice, but...

Try doing a couple of date-like things with her. Take her out to a movie. Have dinner for a while. Once she's comfortable with this, sit down and talk to her about going out.

[Sanis Prent]

One word. Roofies.














JUST KIDDING!!!!


Just say no to drugs ;) Especially Roofies.

[Sith Ahnk]

Originally posted by Sanis Prent
One word. Roofies.

I always wondered why everyone liked you here...

*makes note never to accept drinks from Sanis*

[Tyreal Dalarsco]

*Rips a hole in cyber-space and pulls a hammer from Transfandom.com, then starts to beat Sanis and Silus.*
And Wei, you are a few time zones East of me.
I'm in Alberta.

[Silus Xilarian]

You have issues :)

[Tyreal Dalarsco]

Well so do you.

[Wei Wu Wei]

WE all do! That's what makes us unique! Buy an issue of Wei Wu Wei! It's free except for that damn sales tax.

[Tyreal Dalarsco]

Nice one, man.