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View Full Version : How do you talk someone out of Suicide?



Tyreal Dalarsco
Nov 4th, 2002, 07:44:32 PM
My friend recently moved out to the country, and he's been having a hard time fitting in there.
Tonight, he started talking about taking his own life. Everything I say seems to do nothing or make matter worse, PLEASE help me, it's a life and death matter.

Zeke
Nov 4th, 2002, 08:22:11 PM
He's acting on emotion. Make him think logically.

Morgan Evanar
Nov 4th, 2002, 08:24:54 PM
Call a proffesional if he's really serious.

Blaine
Nov 4th, 2002, 08:26:52 PM
Yeah, I'd say you tell someone, whether he likes it or not. It'll save his life.

imported_Firebird1
Nov 4th, 2002, 08:44:31 PM
All you can do at this point is tell his parents, or see if the International Red Cross can help in some way.

imported_Taja Loraan
Nov 4th, 2002, 09:44:30 PM
I knew someone who was really suicidal, though not very well. Telling them to just cheer up doesn't work.. I told her about my own experiences and how stupid and pointless the reasons are, no matter how depressing they may seem at the time. She came around.

Telling parents doesn't always help. Depends on what they're like.. they might just think you're going through another "phase". -_-

Nasseeri Haalleerraa
Nov 4th, 2002, 11:09:23 PM
I had a friend from TalkCity that had told me in detail how he was going to kill himself, where and when, etc. I stayed onling and talked to him for about 5 hours, crying my eyes out the whole time.

I even contacted a CSA (one of the big bosses at TC) and they tries to help. Since I didnt know him all that well, it turned out that every few months he would pull that stunt with someone. Not that he was joking...he wasnt. But he didnt really want to kill himself either.

Blaine and Firebird are right. Tell someone , anyone! He may hate you for a while (my friend hated me for months) but if it will save his life, then its worth it!

Lilaena De'Ville
Nov 4th, 2002, 11:11:55 PM
A permanent solution to a temporary problem, as they say. Best of luck, hope everything is ok.

imported_Grev Drasen
Nov 4th, 2002, 11:23:15 PM
If your friend is not bluffing, good luck with the situation, and I can only say I hope he doesn't pull anything stupid. People romanticize suicide too much, and seem to forget it's not temporary. But for some people it is the only way out, and I can't blame them for it.

Riley Chambers
Nov 4th, 2002, 11:40:31 PM
Everyone else has the right idea. Tell someone, a professional or adult can handle it better than any of us can.

Judas Escariot
Nov 5th, 2002, 07:53:01 AM
Well if you encourage him sometimes he can scare himself and he'll change his mind about it.....reverse psychology it works sometimes for some people...

Leeloo Mina
Nov 5th, 2002, 08:44:36 AM
If you call someone, it could help or it could make things worse. If he hasn't done anything and you call the police or something, he can always act like he has no idera what they're talking about.. and kill himself later without telling anyone.

If you try to encourage him, it'll probaly scare him out of it.. He probaly wants people to be sad that he's dead. Maybe you should tell him that he's not going to be able to see how people react to his death.. if that's what he's wanting.

If he's actually wanting to do it, he probaly wouldn't have told you.. I mean, he probaly wants you to stop him.

I tried to kill myself a few years ago.. no one could have talked me out of it, and I didn't tell anyone before I did it. I was in the mental ward of the hospital for a little while. It just made me hate my parents and want to kill myself after I got out of there.. I was afraid that I'd fail again and get sent back there - for longer this time.

Maybe you should tell his parents to keep an eye on him.. If he's going to try slitting his wrists, he's probaly going to live.. It's rather hard to cut deep enough AND sit and wait to bleed to death.

Shawna Brunet
Nov 5th, 2002, 11:13:24 AM
Suicide is a defeatist's attitude; a cry for attention, an outlit for pain, the surrender of ones life with the will sapped out of a future yet to transpire. Medication can only do so much. People by nature need to fit in somewhere in life with at least someone, or they fall into the abyss of their own convictions, which can lead to utter madness and a warped view of life, as pessimism is ultimately its aftermath.

The problem with the internet is many people can become befriended as easily as forgotten. In real life, it is far less easy to forget the vivid eyes of a soul in conflict. Everyone should learn there are millions of eyes before monitors just begging for help. Time to lend the hand and forge the connection of civility. If it is through the internet, then so be it, its a beginning of a bond.

Sith Ahnk
Nov 5th, 2002, 02:10:18 PM
I found that talking about how you feel is suprisingly relieving. About 70% of teenagers have attempted suicide, so most are totally understanding. Don't tell his parents... they usually look the other way. My parents looked the other way and I just about bled to death. If you think that they want someone to talk to, talk to them. If you think that they're about to kill themselves and no talking will help, call the police. They might be pissed and thier parents might freak, but if he's alive... hey, nothing else matters right.

That way if he's legit, he can get a counseller and they'll talk and hopefully he will feel better. If it was a cry for attention than he spent the night in jail! So either way he got what he needs.

Gouyen Chee
Nov 5th, 2002, 03:04:10 PM
File this under "Been there, done that, have the scars:"

Suicide is a cry for attention. The suicidal person is at the end of his/her rope -- the pain of living exceeds the ability to cope with it. So talk to that person, let him/her know that s/he is not alone. If you've had similar experiences, you might want to share them to let the person know that his/her problem is not unique. The suicidal person is usually feeling all alone, abandoned by the world, and that his/her death really won't matter in the scheme of things. Let him/her know you care, that it will matter if s/he dies. I think that this plan would work even if the person is feeling spiteful towards others -- the "they'll really miss me when I'm dead" attitude.

Pay attention to that person -- his/her hurt is very real and s/he is the only one who can truly judge its severity.

If things get too bad, such as writing suicide notes and detailing plans for commiting suicide, don't be afraid to seek professional help -- although I'd stay away from suicide hotlines -- they tend to be so overworked that people get put on hold for extended periods, which does nothing to one's psychological state. Your best bet is to have the person go to the emergency ward of a hospital or to an urgent care clinic -- there they can be seen by medical professionals and get on the road to some real help.

Suicide is the most extreme manifestation of depresson, which is a medical condition and can be treated, which is why I suggest going to a hospital emergency room for treatment.

Best wishes for you and your friend.

Lex Blaine
Nov 5th, 2002, 08:40:10 PM
i was really suicidal at one point and i knew exactly how i was gonna kill myself, everything was going bad, and people that i thought were my friends didn't help at all, but its good that you want to help... really the only thing that made me change my mined, which was only a month ago, was that i started getting involved with church and prayer... if your friend is spiritual or anything like that, or even if he's not, getting into his religion could sooth him... oh and spend alot of time with him cause maybe this is just a major cry for attention... maybe he's jux lonely cause i know that i was... and if you care about him this much... jux express it... i know if my friends and ppl did that to me... i probably wouldn't have even considered suicide.

Wei Wu Wei
Nov 5th, 2002, 08:51:05 PM
I have never been suicidal per se...It's not that I wanted to kill myself, but rather I wanted not to be alive anymore. Talk to the person ask them how they feel and why they feel that way. A lot of questions may annoy the poo out of them, but if yu can get them to open up and talk about it, then by all means please do. I talk about how I feel every single day. It really does help.

Nemesis
Nov 5th, 2002, 10:34:13 PM
First, you have to call someone. Whether it be his parents or a professional. True, he may just be looking for attention, but better safe than sorry. In the end he'll thank you for it.

Second, talk to him as often as you can. Often potential suicide victims have a "no one cares" attitude. If you prove to him that there are people who care then he may find some comfort in that.

Lastly, I urge you to tell someone. He may be suffering from clinical depression as I was when I attempted suicide. If so, then there is little you can do on your own to save him. I know it may seem like a drastic step to take, but even the talk of suicide is not to be taken lightly.

My best wishes to you and your friend.

Shawna Brunet
Nov 6th, 2002, 07:29:06 AM
So many attempted suicides and cases of depression I see in here. I blame society and its imperfections in a highly technical world void of caring humanity. Its as if machines have replaced what needs to be scrutinized....the well being of the populace.. Some may not believe in it, but I bet God had intervened in those desperate attempts, or a Guardian angel, call it what you will.