underwhelmed (Jeran)[Finished]

[Dae Jinn]

The lights of Coruscant shone dimly into the window of Daetana's bedroom. Her home, the Dungeon, was on one of the lower levels, practically the Slums. The outside looked ragged and filthy, while the inside was warm and inviting. The walls were painted dark colors, the furnishings were shades of red and white.

Daetana lounged on a plush red chaise with a data pad. Her life had changed greatly in the last few weeks. She had lost her child, her husband. She had burnt down a hotel in a fit of anger, despair...And now she didn't even want to leave her home. Her pilot sat on the floor next to her, and she absent-mindedly played with his black hair. He was the one who had found her sobbing and bloody in the street. He had brought her home and was now spending the days with her, keeping an eye on her. He himself had a data pad that he was reading intently. Dae sighed heavily and tossed hers onto the floor, watching it land with a smash. She spoke to her pilot in a rough, gutteral language, Saiya-jinn.
"I'm going for some air...."
She rose from her seat and went to a large set of glass doors, stepping out into the night air onto the balcony. She leaned on the rail and looked out into the darkness, and sighed again.

[Jeran Conrad]

Somehow, he had found her. He wasn't sure how--he never was, really. It just seemed that he had wandered, following a scent until he had found its owner. This scent, he knew too well. It had been several times that he had followed the scent. Several times he had come close to its origin. He had seen her many times since their first visit--he could never bring himself to talk to her. Now, it felt as though she needed him. He wasn't sure how, but he needed to be here.

He had dispatched a single Dark Jedi, three alleys back. The man had been a two or three-month padawan, by the looks of him. He was raping a young woman, a woman of pure innocence, by her smell. Much like a Dark Jedi. It had been quick and silent, dispatching the evil and sending the girl on her way. He had other business here.

Her house was located in a slum area of Coruscant. It was lost among darkness and shadowed by great, broken, bohemths of power jutting up around it. Much like her, it seemed.

It was easy to climb up to the small balcony. He had peered into the window to observe her--see if she was there. Already, he had jumped down three times and left her home. He felt like a curious animal or a nervous boy. But he kept coming back. Why? He felt needed...felt safe here. There was no danger.

When she came to the doors, he almost jumped down. But he stayed--she hadn't noticed him yet. He was silent and shielded. He squatted on top of the rail in the dark corner as she peered over the balcony, into the darkness.

She wore a small, red-type pajama. Over her was draped a dark black, silk robe. It hugged her beautiful body in the wind, her curvurtrues sculpting the woman inside of it. She sighed heavily.

"It has been too long," he spoke softly, though he knew she would be startled. It was ok.

[Dae Jinn]

She jumped. turning to the source of the noise with a low growl. Then she blinked. She stared at the person on the railing and walked slowly up to him.
"Jeran.....?"
She knew it was him, she could tell him by his smell. That wonderful smell, she had missed it. She frowned, tears starting to well in her eyes. "Jeran..."

He felt a sudden sting on his cheek and heard a loud smack as her hand hit his face. She glared at him angrily, tears now running down her cheeks. Dae clenched her hands at her side.
"Why are you here...why did you leave me before...why Jeran?!?!"
Her robe slipped open in the breeze, revealing more of her small red night gown, more of her fair skin. She left it open, billowing in the breeze as she stared at him. Finally she just broke down, sobbing, sinking to her knees.
"Oh god...I'm sorry...."

[Jeran Conrad]

The sting of her slap on his face hurt far less than the sting to his heart. It was true...he had left her before. But he had left her for so many reasons. So many things had caused him to go--he couldn't explain them. He wouldn't explain them. Not now.

"I...I'm sorry..." He could think of little that would soothe the weeping Dae before him. She was emotionally distraught, and he could easily see that there was more to her grief than just him. "You have been under so much stress lately...you got hurt by someone else..." He could sense her feelings. "I came because I thought you wanted me too...I thought you needed me."

He came to his feet, kneeling before her. He cupper her shoulders in his hands, letting her sob before him. She hid her face from him.

"I left and I can't apologize for that. I did it. I'm sorry. But I don't want to see you hurt like this." He thought to explain to her that he had followed her for so long. He thought to tell her he had seen her husband, seen her life. But he would not. "I came because you wanted me to come. The Force did, maybe. I don't know." He felt the tears in his own eyes as she cried.

[Dae Jinn]

She hung her head, tears falling onto her knees as she sobbed harder at his mention of her husband. She didn't think about him, of them, or their child. It hurt too much, it made her sad, sick. She didn't even wonder how he knew about it...She wrapped her arms tightly around him, her head resting on his strong shoulder as she wept harder. Dae squeezed him tight. She whispered softly between sobs.
"Please...just hold me....don't let me go again..."

[Jeran Conrad]

The wall of pain, suffering, and emotion he had built to keep others out of his heart collapsed.

He squeezed her tightly. He held her--letting her cry. Letting her sob, weep, wet his chest and shoulder with her tears. Her body jerked as emotion poured out of her and into the him. He felt his own eyes well up with tears, but he was able to hold them back. He gripped her firmly--he would not let her go.

He was so hurt to see her in this state. He wanted to leave--to run into the woods and not come back. He was emotionally weak, and he wasn't use to these types of interaction. But he had to stay. Something compelled him to stay.

"I won't leave you. I won't." He spoke softly into her ear, bringing on hand up to stroker the back of her head, tocuhing her hair. He held her with the other, keeping her close as she cried. "It's ok. I'm here. It's ok."

[Dae Jinn]

She sobbed harder, not able to stop. All the hurt and sadness she had kept bottled up inside flowed out with her tears. She sniffled, her body shaking as she tried to regain her composure.
She took a deep breath, leaning back. Her face was still wet, but her cheeks flushed slightly.
"I'm sorry I slapped you...." She reached up and gently stroked the cheek she had smacked. She smiled weakly and whispered to him. "I'm glad you're here. I missed you....I..need you with me, Jeran..."

[Jeran Conrad]

"I've missed you too..." He spoke with happiness that she was not upset with him any longer. Her forgiveness was pure. It was inspiring to him. Would he have done the same? To be a better man, yes he would have.

His smile faded as he thought of what he had done. He had left her. He had his reasons--and he still thought them legitimate. However, something had drawn him back to her. Something greater than logic or reasons.

"Things have been rough for you...I know. You may wonder how." He didn't know if he should explain all things to her. But he guessed it was too late now. "I have been watching you here and there. I'm sorry if it is suprising or shocking. I travel so much--you know I do--and I have contacts. And I...well, I wanted to look in on you. How do you think I knew you were here now?" He smiled, waving to the pilot that stood at the balcony now. He waved back, acknowledging Jeran. He closed the blinds, giving the two their privacy.

[Dae Jinn]

She smiled and shook her head. That explained why her pilot had been hanging around so much. Not only was he worried, he was doing a favor for Jeran. She watched the pilot close the blinds and looked up at Jeran. With one hand she brought his face back towards hers, leaning in and touching her lips to his softly, tenderly kissing him. She pressed her body tight against him, her arms still wrapped tightly around him.
She pulled back, and gave him a quick peck.
"Are you staying this time? No more leaving...?" She asked, her lips forming a tiny pout. She couldn't bear it if he left again. Their last meeting had been wonderful, and for reasons she still did not know, he had left her in the night. She had no idea where he had been all this time, but now he had found her once again. Just like she hoped he would.

[Jeran Conrad]

Her kisses felt so good to him--like they had on the night they spent together. But the sting of what he was still haunted him. He seldom looked her in the eye, and as she spoke he looked down to the ground.

"Are you staying this time? No more leaving...?" she spoke. He sighed to himself silently. He really didn't know the answer.

"I can't really answer that. I am with a group now..." He watched her eyes shift. "I know, it's not like me to join a cause, but I think these guys might have some potential. I could be very wrong--I don't know. But they...well, I guess we--are The Plague." He thought about it too much. He didn't have many words for these moments.

"We hunt the darkside, Dae." That was all he could say. She knew what he pledged his life too--so did he. He was destroyer of the dark, warrior of the light. She...well, he she wasn't exactly an angel...niether was he for that matter. Too many thoughts, so jumbled. He knew he couldn't promise anything.

[Dae Jinn]

She bit her lower lip, fighting back tears. She knew how he was, how he was devoted to his cause. She felt stupid for expecting him to stay here with her, a darksider....

She slowly let him go and stood, closing her robe. She folded her arms over her chest and took a deep breath, trying to stay calm, trying to keep her emotions in check. She kept her eyes on the cement floor of the balcony. She couldn't look at him now.

"Then I guess you aren't staying...."

She turned quickly, going back into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Dae crawled up onto her huge bed, pulling the covers over her body and laying with her back facing the door. Tears escaped, rolling slowly down her cheeks. A small sob slipped out and she couldn't hold it in anymore. She started to sob harder, pulling the covers over her head.

[Jeran Conrad]

He heard the words and watched her storm away, slamming the door behind her. She didn't know what it felt inside of him. Maybe she was upset; perhaps she was hurt. He had no heart to say things like this to her and he had no heart to let her cry about them.

He followed in slowly and silently, shutting the door softly. She cried on the bed...sobbing. He didn't know if he should approach her. Would she recieve him? He didn't want to hurt her...but the truth remained.

"Dae..." He reached down to touch her shoulder. He stood beside her bed now, tears starting to well up in his own eyes. "Dae...I'm sorry...but I...it's hard...I can't..." He didn't know what to say.

[Dae Jinn]

She rolled over, pushing his hand off her.
"Don't..." Her voice was weak she looked up at him with sad eyes. She saw the tears and it made her sob harder.
"Jeran..."
She rose to her knees, brushing a hand across his cheek, wiping away the few tears that had fallen. She looked at him as she gently stroked his cheek, her other hand taking his. Her sobbing had stopped and now she pulled him close, holding him to her, stroking his back.
"Jeran...will you stay for one night? I won't force you to stay with me....As much as I want you with me, need you with me, I won't make you betray your beliefs." She whispered softly into his ear, still holding him.

[Jeran Conrad]

He felt her touch. He wanted to stay. Every part of him wanted to stay with her, to spend the night with her with no regrets and no thoughts of what may come. Leaving behind care and throwing caution into the wind, he wanted to jump in.

The logical part of him held him back for a moment. He didn't want to hurt Dae. He didn't want to cause her to believe something that wasn't true. It was true--he had feelings for her. He just...couldn't...he couldn't. He....


Her touch was so soft.......

She was beautiful.....

She poured honey into ears that craved sweetness.....

He held her and brought her in for a kiss, without saying a word. Squeezing her body against his, he laid her onto the bed, kissing her firmly.

[Dae Jinn]

She laid back on the bed, sinking into the soft mattress. Her legs wrapped around him as she kissed him back with increasing passion. She pressed against him, pulling back from the kiss gasping for air.
"Jeran." She said breathily. "Please be with me...I need you now..."
She leaned back, reaching for the lamp that sat on the bedside table, knocking it to the floor before kissing him again. In the darkness, she let all her bottled up feelings, all her wanting, craving for him out. She kissed him softly, her tongue slipping into his mouth, moving with his. Her hands pushed his heavy coat off, letting it fall to the floor, her soft warm hands pulling up his tunic and roaming over his bare back. Dae loved the feel of his hands on her skin, loved touching him, being with him. She wouldn't rush this, she wanted this night to last forever.

[Jeran Conrad]

He let her guide him into the bed, kissing him all the way. She was strong with her feelings and acted on them. He followed. Rolling onto his back, she sat atop his lap, her hands roaming his bare torso.

As she removed parts of his clothing, his hands probed her. She wore little. He removed her robe and let his own hands touch her bare back, only contained now by her chamisole. Her touch was soft against his back and his stomach. His muscular physique heaved as his breathing picked up. She ran her hands across his skin, and he no longer needed to think about whether he would stay or go.

He pulled her closer to him as he admired her soft sillouette in the darkness. Kissing her again, and moving to her bare neck and shoulders, he held her close. There was little turning back now. He wished the night would never end, as they were together here, alone, and in the heat of passion.

[Dae Jinn]

Their passion lasted long into the night, and they fell into an exhausted sleep as the sun was peeking into the windows. Dae rested her head on his bare chest, her body resting on his. She could feel his chest rise with his breathing, hear his heart beating and a small smile curved her lips. She had left no marks on him, and it had been a gentle wonderful night. She leaned up and planted a simple kiss on his chin.
"Mmm, Jeran."
She nuzzled his neck, trying to wake him. "Jeran....time to wake up."

[Jeran Conrad]

He woke startled, almost rising completely out of the bed. The night before had been...well, it had been wonderful and he had shared it with a woman he cared for. However, he was surprised that he had woken up so late and that she had risen before him. He touched her cheek and let his body relax--he was in a safe place and in the company of kindness.

"Mmmmmm..." He growled and purred at the same time, holding Dae's body next to his own. Slowly rising from the bed--gently letting her off of him--he met the cold air of the room on his naked skin. He tucked the blankets back over Dae, and reached down for his pants. The morning--about 9 am now--was still cool. Pulling his pants up to cover him, he strode out onto the balcony.

"Don't worry, I'm not goin anywhere," he said back to her with a sly grin. He walked out to the balcony and put his hands on the cold metalic rail. He took a deep breath, letting the smell of the morning seep into his nose. It was filled with stench of concrete and steel and trash...the city. Blech.

Coming back inside, he stood in the doorway, admiring Dae. She hadn't covered herself entirely, and he smiled at her beauty. She was a gorgeous woman--only exemplified by her playfulness and personality. He wanted to stay with her in bed all day--he would have enjoyed it much. But he was a creature of habit and routine, and it was time for his morning jog.

"I'm going to go out for a jog. I will return--no worries." He smiled to her again and grabbed his tunic. Pulling it over his torso, he reached for his lightsaber and clipped to the seat of his pants, concealed from view. "Might need this in the city, eh?" He chuckled.

[Dae Jinn]

She lay in the bed, smiling as she watched him rise from the bed, watching his body as he dressed and strode out onto the balcony. His wonderful body that she had made love to only hours before. The bed room was cool, and she was only half covered by a comforter. She laid back on the pillow, watching him, smiling when he smiled at her.
A small frown came on her face as he pulled on his shirt. She had wanted to spend the day in bed with him, but he had said he would be back so she simply nodded and gave a little laugh as he made the comment about needing his saber.
"Unfortunately, that's the kind of world I chose to live in. Be careful and don't be too long. I'll start to miss you as soon as you leave."
She rose from the bed, letting the covers fall where they may, walking slowly over to him and kissed him softly. "When you come back, I'll have a nice warm bath waiting for you."
Her arms wrapped around his neck and she kissed him once again, not wanting to let him go.

[Jeran Conrad]

He smiled as she kissed him. "Sounds great," he replied, strapping on his light running boots for the jog ahead. Ready for the run, he headed outside.

The streets were moderately busy--he guessed. He wasn't sure what city likfe was really like. A few scattered pedestrians here and there, a couple of broken-down speeders, and the trash from the night before littered the beaten old streets. The slums were ugly--more so by the battle-wearied buildings of the old regimes. Nonetheless, the ground was flat and gravity existed--two key elements of a run, he thought.

He started with a light jog, dodging beings and trash. He eventually increased to a brisk sprint for the final 100 m, but as he wound down to the final stretch, he slowed to a cool-off pace.

Returning roughly 30 minutes later, he came to the dirt court-yard of the complex--he preferred grass, but this would do. Stretching for about 15 min, he felt refreshed. It had been a particulary eventful night, and the refreshing exercise made him ready to face the day ahead.

Returning to Dae's home, he found himself alone in the place. Entering the front doors, he came into a small hallway. The walls--as they were in her bedroom--where black, creating a dim light in the home. In a good contrast, the floors were white. Jeran usually liked greens and browns, but this wasn't too bad.

He passed the stairs to her bedroom and peeked his head into the other rooms. To his right was a parlor and sitting room--it was very much decorated in older decor. It's style was classic and very elegant. To his left was the kitchen--very modern, but retainind a classic feel. It was very interesting.

He could smell a certain scent and hear the sound of water from above. He climbed the stairs to her bedroom, seeking the bathroom. Finding the bathroom, he saw the door cracked a bit. The steam of the hot water seeped from inside the room. He wondered what she was planning.

Peeking into the bathroom, he could feel the humidity of the moist air. He could use a shower.

[Dae Jinn]

Dae sat on the floor beside a large claw-footed bathtub. One hand lazily testing the water tempurature, she turned when she sensed him near-by. She smiled up at him.
"How was your run?" She asked, taking her hand out and drying it on the towel she had sitting next to her on the clean marble floor. She was dressed in another robe, a kimono-style one of black silk with a red cherry-blossom pattern, her black hair was still a mess from bed. She rose to her feet and opened the door, taking his hand and pulling him inside the room, closing the door behind him. The bathroom, in contrast to the other rooms, was a pale off-white, with white fixtures. Light shone in through two large windows, barely dimmed by the light curtains that covered them.
Dae gave him another soft kiss, smiling. "Your bath is almost ready."

[Jeran Conrad]

"Sounds great," he replied softly, kissing her back. He turned for a moment to strip his clothing. He stripped down to his pants and tested the water with his own hand--it was just perfect--hot, but not too hot. He liked it almost too hot. Still holding her hand, he strode to the sink to examine himself in the mirror. He usually used the reflective properties of rivers and streams for this task, but a real mirror would do nicely.

His features were rough--he needed a shave. The bristles that poked from out of his face must be distracting to her touch. Also, his hair was quite shaggy. Perhaps it was time for a cut--she might like it shorter. The cut above his left eye--from a previous fight with Wraith--was distracting to his overall handsome appearance. It was in that moment that he realized what he was doing. He was thinking of all of these things for her...he felt silly, but as she stood beside him and looked at him in the mirror, he liked the sight of the two standing together.

"Ready yet?" He asked, breaking the thoughtful moment.

[Dae Jinn]

She watched him study himself in the mirror, smiling. He was a bit scruffy, but it suited him. She held back a laugh as he continued looking himself over; it didn't seem like him at all. He didn't seem like he would normally be concerned with his outer appearance, but would care more about who he was inside. She stroked his chin.
"I should send someone to get you a razor, and anything else you may need while you're here."

She left him at the sink and went to shut off the water. The tub was full and steam rose off the water. She gave him a grin and a playful wink.
"Did you want me to join you?"

[Jeran Conrad]

"You are a grown woman. I think you can make your own decisions." He said it with a grin and removed the last of his clothing--his pants. Lowering hiself into the bath, he let the hot water clothe his entire body. It felt good against his stretched muscles and tired bones. He lowered his entire self into the water--up to his chin. The cleansing liquid covered his body and warmed him. It felt very good.

Pulling one of the washclothes from the rack, he began to run it over his skin, cleaning all sweat/dirt/and general grime from him. He headn't bathed in two days or so (he wondered how Dae had tolerated him!), and this one he would savor.

[Dae Jinn]

She reached over, ruffling his hair and grinned back.
"I think I'll let you enjoy it."

She took the wash cloth from him, soaping it back up and washing his shoulders, his back. She took each of his arms and washed them, his chest, his neck, leaving him soapy and clean.
She dropped the cloth into the tub with a small splash and laughed.
"You finish up, darling," She told him, leaning over and kissing him yet again. She loved the feel of his lips on hers. She pulled back, grin still in place. "And I'll go downstairs and fix us some breakfast."

Dae rose to her feet, leaving Jeran in the tub and walking slowly downstairs to the kitchen. She took a fry pan from it's hook above the stove then went to the fridge. There wasn't much in it, she made a mental note to go shopping later. There was enough to make a nice little breakfast for Jeran. She normal wouldn't cook anything herself - she had a personal Chef for those sorts of things - but she wanted to do this for him. She laughed to herself, knowing she was doing this just for him, because she wanted to make him happy. She cracked 4 eggs into the pan, adding milk and stirring it. It wouldn't be a fancy breakfast, but she hoped he would enjoy it.

[Jeran Conrad]

The hot bath soothed him. As he cleaned his body, he wondered how long he would stay. How much longer would he delay what he didn't want to face? As long as he could stand it, he guessed. He emptied the water and began to replace it with new, preparing it for Dae. He wished to return the favor.

He dressed himself--putting on most of his clothing, minus his outter atire. He gathered his things together and put them in a neat little pile--preparation for when the time came. Something caught his nose. Eggs? His stomach churned. Turning the water off, he headed down the stairs.

Peeking into the kitchen, he saw where she stood. She was preparing breakfast for him and...humming. Singing a soft tune to herself. She seemed to be rather happy, enjoying the time they spent together. Of course, he did too. Maybe more than even she. But the reality of their time limit was upon him.

His hands slid across her back and down to her waist, where he held her from behind. Pulling her tightly against his body, he kissed her neck gently.

"It smells very good," he said, smiling as he kissed her neck again. "I started water for you--it is ready when you wish."

[Dae Jinn]

She closed her eyes and smiled softly as he ran his hands down her body, tilting her head as he kissed her neck. She giggled and kissed him back.
"I just hope it tastes as good as it smells, I haven't had to cook in a long time...." She paused, adding some meat and cheese to the eggs for omelets. She pressed her body back against him without even realising it, just wanting him near. She looked back at him with a slight grin.

"You know...I actually feel, normal. I guess most normal people get up, bathe, dress, cook breakfast and then go about their normal lives. With-out a second thought about the Force, the Darkside or the Lightside. I kinda like it..." Her voice got quiet and she looked back down at the pan, cheeks getting red. "Silly huh? I'm supposed to be this big bad sith, and I'm actually enjoying having a little happiness in my home...A little taste of normal life..."
She sighed and turned off the stove. Moving so she was facing him, she put her arms around his neck, gazing into his eyes sadly.
"You're going to have to leave soon, aren't you?"

[Jeran Conrad]

The moment seemed too good to be true...and it was killed by her comment. It wasn't her fault--it was his. She could see it in his eyes. He knew he was going to leave, so it was no wonder that she could tell. Especially after what he had shared with her. They had been together--and when tha that happens, a special bond is formed between to souls.

"I don't wanna think about it now. I want an omlete." He pecked her on the cheek and reached for one of the plates. He wanted to avoid the topic at hand, and he was generally pretty good at that. He sat both of the plates on the table. Sitting, and taking a big bite, he tasted the breakfast.

"Mmmmm...very good. Ya know, for someone who is such a 'big bad Sith,' you can cook pretty well, Dae." He smiled at her brightly--she brought out almost a kiddish spirit in him. With a more serious look, he gazed at her. "You will be a good mother..." It was an awkward comment, but he wanted to speak what was on his mind. She would--she was a wonderful spirit. He hoped one day, secretly, to change her. Convince her of the Dark Lie. That would come another time, he thought.

[Dae Jinn]

She sighed, shaking her head but smiling. She sat next to him at the table and took a bite of her own food. She didn't want to think about it either.
"Thanks. I wanted to make something special for you...Sorry I don't have a lot here. I need to go shopping, maybe we can go later..." She blushed again, It made her feel silly, she felt safe and content with him. She had been with only 3 other men, but none of them had made her feel the way Jeran did. She wanted to take care of him.
"You will be a good mother..."
She looked down at her stomach, thinking of her baby. The one who she had lost. She sighed and played with the food on her plate. She returned his gaze, her smile coming back in spite of her sadness.
"I think you would make a wonderful father. One day..." Again she felt her cheeks burn. She laughed, not knowing how to word what she was thinking; how she wished he would stay, how she wished they could forget their chosen paths and just be here like this forever. She knew in her heart it would never be, there would never be a "normal" life for her, for them.

[Jeran Conrad]

Jeran paused when she spoke those words. Afterall, it was only fair--he had just made the same comment before her. It felt different...recieving it rather than giving it.

"I don't think I would." He said, his face more serious. "I mean, come on Dae. I can't even stay here with you--how could I be a father?" He looked down at his eggs as he spoke. He really liked being here with her--he really, really did. If he could, he would quit this hunting, this fighting, and settle down. But he couldn't. He couldn't. Master Kias...he could not fail him. Not now. He had so much work to do. The universe was plagued with the darkside--everywhere, all around him. He could never eliminate it all, but he would die trying. He would die trying.

He would face as many as he could. He would destroy as much of this sick, twisted darkness that he could. He would dispatch the evil that had destroyed his life. Every last one...Dark Jedi...Sith.......Dae?

"I don't know. Not a good idea for me." He stood, finishing his eggs. He brought the plate to the dishwasher, placing it in its spot. He leaned against his chair now as Dae still sat, finishing her breakfast.

[Dae Jinn]

She stared hard at her plate as he spoke.
"I mean, come on Dae. I can't even stay here with you--how could I be a father?"
She bit her lower lip and exhaled, making a whimpering noise. SHe didn't want him to leave, not again. She set her fork down as he came back and sat.
"Well...why couldn't we go with you!? I mean..I could go with you when you go...." Her voice cracked and she was on the verge of tears again. "I don't want you go. I can go with you...I can...."
She pushed her plate away angrily, sending it skittering across the table and smashing onto the floor. Her hands clenched into fists at her side.
"When you go...I don't know what I'll do....." She whispered, getting up and going to pick up the pieces of plate and eggs that were now on the floor. " I hate this...You make me want to be good...but..."

[Jeran Conrad]

Jeran could see the desperation in her eyes, hear the fear in her voice. He watched her push the plate away and pick it up off of the floor. But what she said...it gave him hope...

" I hate this...You make me want to be good...but..."

"Dae...what are you saying?" The fact that she had said that, his aspirations to her being redeemed flared as she spoke. He dropped down to her. Stopping her from picking up the mess, he grabbed ahold of her hands. She had begun to tear up in her eyes. He held them softly, bringing her closer to him. "What did you mean, Dae?" His eyes were intense. He wanted to know what was happening. What was she thinking?

Was this real?

[Dae Jinn]

She looked down.
"It's nothing..." Tears had started spilling down her cheeks. She pulled her hands from his, starting to pick up the broken pieces. Her hands were trembling as she picked up a large jagged piece. It slipped, slicing her palm, but she just kept working, tears streaming down her face now.
Blood trickled down her arm as she stood, taking the pieces to the garbage. She stood there, away from him, silently looking at the floor.
"I didn't mean anything, it's nothing, Jeran..." her voice betrayed her sadness, as it came out as a series of sobs. "I told you before...I don't think I can change....even if I wanted to..."

[Jeran Conrad]

The goodness...the hope that had been formed in that moment slipped away as she made her comment. His face looked down a bit. He had hoped that he had found a real change in her, a real chance to make things good and right and...

It was gone.

He stood up, standing away from her. He felt a fool for believing what he did. Maybe she cared--maybe she did. But there would be no changing her. He felt so ignorant.

"I need to go," he said, heading towards the staircase that lead back to her room. Briskly, he began to scale the stairs.

[Dae Jinn]

She stood in the kitchen for a moment, watching the blood drip down the hand to the floor. Tears fell in a steady stream from her eyes as she stood silently, listening to him going up the stairs.

She wanted to stop him, to scream at him. But she couldn't, she wouldn't change him. She couldn't change him. He was so stubborn. She sniffled and wiped at her tear-streaked face with her bloodied hand, leaving streaks.
Slowly she followed him upstairs. He was in her bedroom, gathering his things. She walked past him, sitting at the chair in front of her dressing table. Going into a drawer, she took out a roll of bandage, starting to wrap up her hand. She looked back at him in the mirror.
"I hope you know that this is killing me inside Jeran..." She finally said, her voice soft and sad. The tears started to come back. "I don't want you to go....I...really care about you..."

She looked down, mumbling. "I..love you...You make me want to be good....you really do....But I'm scared...."

[Jeran Conrad]

His heart ached blood at Dae's words. He looked away, continuing to pack the rest of his things. He tried to keep his mind on other things--on survival, his next hunt, perhaps even his next ship of this concrete maze. It didn't help--his mind was on her and her alone.

He put his things together quickly and put on his outer cloak. He looked back at her, meeting her eyes with his own.

"I..love you...You make me want to be good....you really do....But I'm scared...." His heart cried out, aching in pain. He couldn't stay here and hear this anymore. He wasn't good at these things--he wasn't prepared for this. He was weak with his emotions, and Dae was making him weaker at this point.

"I'm sorry," he uttered the words, tears leaving his puffy eyes. With that, and with cowardice and fear of his emotions, he made his way past the woman he loved and out onto the balcony he had arrived here on. He took one look back into the glass doors.

I'm sorry...I love you too...But I can't do this.

With less than a second's delay, he hoisted himself over the balcony and onto the soft ground one story below. His steps--quick and firm--echoed in the morning alleys as he left Dae Jinn.

[Dae Jinn]

Dae stood at the glass doors, a hand resting, holding her up. She felt as if her world was going to come crashing down at any moment. Again, feelings of sadness and doubt nagged at her as fresh tears fell.
She rushed out onto the balcony, leaning on the rail, staring down at the street. He was already far away, but she called out to him.
"Jeran!!"

He paused, but did not look back. She sobbed, trying to regain some composure. She called his name again.
"Jeran...Please don't go...Please..."
He started on his way again, and she felt anger rise up in her. She had been hurt enough, by her husband, by losing her baby, losing her family, and now him leaving, she couldn't hold it in any longer.
"Fine!!! Leave!!! Don't ever come back!!!......" She felt her face flush, hot tears burning her eyes. "I love you and you just leave me...You always leave me!!! Well, go ahead!! Go!!!"
She turned on her heel and stormed back inside, slamming and locking the balcony door before collapsing into a sobbing mess on her bed.

[Jeran Conrad]

He wouldn't stop to look back. It hurt too much. Each of her cries hit him like a ton of concrete, all crashing on his heart. But he couldn't turn back. It would be worse the next time. Worse to hear her cry if he stayed, if this continued.

"Fine!!! Leave!!! Don't ever come back!!!......" ... "I love you and you just leave me...You always leave me!!! Well, go ahead!! Go!!!" He couldn't bear to hear it. He paused in the street, hot tears stinging his eyes with burning emotion. He turned to face her, even if it was to say goodbye. It would be better than nothing. Turning to face the woman he had just left...

She was gone. He heard the balcony doors slam shut with great anger as she dissapeared. He turned sharply on his heel, a soldier falling back into rank. He wouldn't. He hoped she wouldn't worry, because she wouldn't have to--he wouldn't.

He wouldn't ever come back.