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View Full Version : Look at my poem and criticize.(or compliment)



Tomak Ohara
Oct 15th, 2002, 07:28:19 PM
i have a poem. Please take it seriously and tell me what ya think.

Beautiful

She looks into my eyes, and I stare into hers. Her beautiful pools of jaded glass. I run my fingers through her long cinnamon hair. I touch her clean crimson lips with mine. I pull away from our embrace to look into her face. Her features make her as beautiful as the deep blue ocean itself. Her personality makes her truly unique to the mind and heart. Her touch as soft as a raindrop upon a flower. Her body fits the description of teardrop. Not one of sorrow and sadness, but one of happiness and rejoice. Lastly, her heart. Her heart that serves a man so well. Her heart that loves with such grace. Her beauty and her affection for another man shall wait. For I am not worthy of such treasures.

Angelica Shin
Oct 15th, 2002, 08:12:13 PM
Beautiful.

*sniff*

I like it.

Rognan Dar
Oct 15th, 2002, 09:01:01 PM
Not bad :)

Angelica Shin
Oct 15th, 2002, 09:04:45 PM
Not as good as <a href=http://lilscrewup.diaryland.com>my poems</a> tho.


j/k...Tis a great one Tommy.

Oriadin
Oct 16th, 2002, 09:21:04 AM
Pretty good
But doesnt a poem
Have to be layed out
In lines
Like this?

Leeloo Mina
Oct 16th, 2002, 09:24:54 AM
That's good.. :)

And Usually poems are laid out like that.. but not always.

Sene Unty
Oct 16th, 2002, 12:54:16 PM
Poems can rea


lly be arr



ayed any


way the


person writing
th


em
sees
fit.

They dont have to make sense...it can look like this for example :D