It ain't a sin to get knocked down...

[Jackson DeWitt]

<a href=http://www.swforums.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=23710>...its only a sin when you don't get back up.</a>

Jackson couldn't sleep. Couldn't eat. Couldn't eat even if he could afford to eat. Nerves were still running on empty from earlier today...when the greatest dream of his life had been denied. Now, he sat alone at a table in the B&G. He'd run the two and a half miles of sidewalk and pedestrian bridges to get there. It saved cab fare. He needed to run, so he could think. Now, he didn't know what to do.


No...


He did know. He knew exactly what he needed to do.

"...they said I could come back later..."

Deep in Jackson's heart, the battered, bruised, and ruined remains of his dream began to kindle with a weak, new flame. Or was it the same flame? The same flame that ran up into his eyes to cause a defiant twinkle, when somebody called him a worthless runt, or told him that he needed to accept things as the way they are. Slowly...the corners of Jackson DeWitt's mouth began to turn upwards again. So somebody had told him that he'd never make it...again.

It would be just another tally mark.

Reaching into his bag, he tugged at a small datapad and a stylus. Water was free, and Jackson drank it gratefully, as he arranged his thoughts in order. He tapped the dropbox that denoted where to transmit the message he was about to write.

HOME


Dear Mom and Dad,

How are you? I am writing to let you know that I have made it safely to Coruscant. I would send you a postcard, but I can't afford one at the moment, and even if I could, it wouldn't be able to show you how beautiful it is. There are so many people and buildings, its really nothing like Tattooine at all! There are buildings so tall that you can't see the tops or bottoms of them. I think Danny would have a fit of vertigo, so don't tell him about the heights. I promise to send home a small amount of credits, once I have earned enough to take care of my meager needs. I realize that my absence is difficult for the harvest, and I want to be able to help out in any way I can, no matter if I am on Tattooine or halfway across the Galaxy! Tell Paul that he can take my side of the room, but only if he helps with my share of the harvest. Mom, I will look for a snowglobe. I promise. Dad, I will send a picture of the Senate building with due haste.

My first day has been very busy. I have found work in the Academy, helping to clean the training grounds. One of the Jedi, named Zeke, was very gracious to hire me, and has even offered me a place to stay while I am here. Don't worry Dad, I am working for it. Waste not, want not. My visit to the temple was exciting, though I was told that they are not currently accepting my application as a Padawan of the Order. I am undaunted, and will try again. It is only a matter of time, and you know I can do whatever I set my mind to. I hope this letter finds you well, and the rest of the family too.

With Love,
Jackson


PS: I will make it...watch me.

Jackson sat back, finishing his glass of water. With a heavy sigh, he tapped the SEND button, whisking the letter away into subspace. For now, he sat back, watching the bright neon lights of a thousand passing vehicles fill his booth's window, as they sailed through a forest of durasteel and glass, hung under a twilight sky.

So ended the first day of the rest of his life.

[Oriadin]

Oriadin had been looking for Jackson since hed left the recruitment incident. Finally, he found him sitting all alone in teh bar and grill. He looked down beat, disapointed and Oriadin couldnt help but feel he should try and do something for him. He walked over to him and asked if he could take a seat.

--Im sorry for what happend before. That must be hard to take. Please, dont leave just yet. I know how interested you are in the Jedi. Why dont you let me give you a tour of the temple? I dont know how the council will feel, but I could ask if you can stay here for a while, even if just a little while.--

Oriadin was thinking quick and on his toes.

--I could use an assistant! You could help me out with my studying. Im sure I could put you up for a little while if you like.--

Oriadin checked out that mans belongings.

--Its obvious you dont have much money. At least help me out for a little while, earn some money, then you could apply to become a Jedi again, or go home. It would be up to you. You never, know, I may be able to give you some tips.--

Deep down Oriadin felt that Jackson didnt have what it takes to be a Jedi. He wasnt the smartest and he didnt seem very strong in the force at all but this man had an iron will and a lot of heart, and Oriadin respected that. He was a Jedi, and his job was to help people. That was what he intended to do.

[Sene Unty]

Sene had followed the young man from the recruitment center the same as Oriadin. He could sense the despair that rolled of the young mans heart. It was like a beacon in the darkness. At the same time however, he could sense his determination.

Walking into the Bar Sene spotted Oriadin in conversation with the young man. Through the force he could hear the words spoken.

They were good words that held a vast amount of possibilities for the young man. He hoped he would take it.....

Stepping slowly to the two men, Sene put an arm over Jackson's shoulder and spoke:

"I would like to help you too Jackson. I think both me and Oriadin here can give you a pretty good tour of the temple....and why stop there? Why not a whole tour of Coruscant?"

He smiled and hoped the young man would accept the offer from Oriadin and himself.....

[Jackson DeWitt]

He looked up, hearing Oriadin and Sene's words.

"I'd like that very much, Mr. Oriadin, sir. I don't wanna be a burden though, sir."

He smiled a little.

"If it isn't too much to ask, I'd appreciate it a whole lot. Its been a bit of a long day, sir, and some good news is sure welcome."

He sighed, returning to look at the window.

"Y'know...I've never seen anything this big in all my whole life."

[Oriadin]

Oriadin let out a small laugh and sat opposite Jackson.

--Please, call me Oriadin. Sir is someone of higher stature and we are all equals here.--

Oriadin looked around the room, as if he were getting a feel for the place.

--Yep, this is indeed a very big place. Even I still manage to get lost at times! So... how about the assistant bit? You interested? Im sure I could use someone like you. You seem to have a great knowledge of the Jedi. A keen interest of mine infact. Im often at the archives studying up on Jedi Lore and old stories. History. Oh, er, you gotta place to stay?--

Oriadin was being as friendly as he could. The man had taken a serious knock today so it was the least the padawan could do.

[Jackson DeWitt]

"Well, Master Zeke offered me room and board, but I'm workin for a place to stay. I wouldn't have it any other way, and he was generous enough to let me clean the Academy grounds and training areas."

He smiled at Oriadin's offer.

"I think Jedi history is about all I'm good for, to be honest. Its not like real learning. I'm a terrible student...probably need a blind dog to find my way around those archives. But I'd be obliged to help you, Oriadin, if you'd like. "

[Oriadin]

--Sure thing. It would be nice to discuss a few of the Jedi ideals with you some time. It was good of Zeke to take you in. He can be a little... wacky at times, but he is a good man. If you need anything, let us know and I will be happy to see what I can do for you.--

Just then he caught sight of one of the droids and signaled for them to come over. He ordered an ice water. The droid awaited orders from the others around the table.

--Im sure Sene here would be interested to know a little bit about you. Where your from, what your family is like and how you come to be so interested in the Jedi. I know I am.--

[Jackson DeWitt]

"Well, there's not much to tell. I'm from a big moisture farming family on Tattooine."

He paused, adding more.

"Mos Espa...or around those parts, at least. Not a place to be if you get bored easily. About the biggest happenings are when a merchant comes in, or junk peddlers make their rounds. There's the boonta festival, but...thats mainly for the city people, and my family lives on the outskirts."

[Sene Unty]

Sene sat down next to Oriadin and when the droid came over, ordered a water as well.

"I'm sure its not that boring. The night life around here is....interesting to say the least. You can pretty much get anything you ever wanted here on Coruscant. However, its easy to get bogged down in the overwheling size of it."

He smiled.

"You'll probably learn your way around quick enough."

[Jackson DeWitt]

"There seems to be all kinds of places to go. I saw a lot of clubs and other nice things coming in frm the spaceport. I'm sure it would take a lifetime to see it all...but I just don't have time for all that, and I can't let it distract me. Its a pretty place, and I love it already, but I also know why I'm here. I was born for this."

[Oriadin]

Oriadin smiled. Jackson was very determined and Oriadin wondered how he would take it if he would never make Jedi. You couldnt choose to become a Jedi, the life of a Jedi chooses you.

--Jackson, tell me why it is you think you could be a Jedi? Have you shown any Jedi traits?--

[Jackson DeWitt]

"Well Oriadin, the way I figure is that if a Jedi puts his mind to somethin, no matter how big the task, that somehow he'll come out on top of it. Its all in the mind, and I'm not talkin about being book-smart, cause its the kind of thing you either have or you don't. I ain't never been no scholar, but I know things like that, and I ain't never shrunk from no challenge, even if noboby will give me a second thought. Dad calls it bein a damn stubborn fool, and Mom calls it bein a bit like my dad. They said I was born small, but I'm just bigger than other folks on the inside."

He smiled.

"Sounds like a Jedi trait to me, if any."

[Sene Unty]

Sene smiled. Indeed his determination was a Jedi trait.....

"Strength of character is always something we Jedi pride ourselves on. From what I have seen, you are a strong willed man, who's heart could out weigh his knowledge. Being booksmart is not the most important thing in the world. Common sense is always crtical."

"You are right in your assumption: Determination is a Jedi trait."

[Oriadin]

Oriadin smiled, but it had a sympathetic look about it.

--Determination is not a triat of being a Jedi but a triat of being a good man. Of being good natured. Both of which you seem to be.--

Oriadin was trying to word things so he wouldnt hurt the mans feelings but he was struggling to find a way to say that you need that something extra.

--Jackson, your determination serves you well but I feel that to become a Jedi takes something more than the will of a man. The force has to be with you. Most people that come here have had experience of being able to do extraordinary feats, such as move things with their minds. They can feel things, sense things. Even superb reflexes. Do you experience any of these things?--

[Jackson DeWitt]

"Well no...not yet. But I will, soon!"

[Oriadin]

Oriadin again smiled. Hoping that Jackson wasnt just building himself up for a big fall.

--Im sure you will. So, what is it you like about the Jedi so much? You ever come into contact with a Jedi before comming here?--

[Jackson DeWitt]

"No, I've never met a Jedi before...well, before yesterday at least. But livin on Tattooine, you can't help but hear the stories. I mean, its like there's somethin in the water, what little you can find at least. Anakin, Luke, and countless others...its like the whole place has a lore of its own. I grew up with nursery rhymes about these people...its in my blood, and I've always known that I had what it takes to one day, go out and be just like them."

[Sene Unty]

Sene shook his head.

"If you have never touched the force before, then how do you think you ever will?"

It was a tough question....but it was someting that needed to be asked.

[Jackson DeWitt]

"Maybe just knowin and chasin my dream is enough...like I can see my destiny somehow. You gotta believe me when I say it, it ain't a matter of me thinkin I can. I know...its like I've always known, clear as day, that this is what I was put in this universe to do. I may not know all the roads and pitfalls along the way, but I ain't never lost sight of the finish line, and I don't intend to when I'm close enough to smell it, either."

[Oriadin]

--Why is it you want to be a Jedi Jackson?--

He said bluntly

[Jackson DeWitt]

"At first, it was just something I always wanted to do...always knew I'd do. More I thought about it, and more I told folks, the more they told me I'd never do it. For a while, I almost believed them...but a Jedi is someone who can make the impossible come true. If I was doin it for my personal gain alone, it would be for the wrong reasons. If I was doin it just to show the naysayers I could do it, it would be for the wrong reasons. I ain't saying those aren't a part of it, but I've been doin a lot of thinking, and I figure that there are two kinds of people in this world...dreamers and doers. I've been dreamin all my life, and the doers don't like it...but not cause they don't dream. Its cause they don't do their dreams, and they desperately want to, but don't want to risk what little they got on a crazy idea. I figure if a guy like me can grab hold onto a big shining star, then maybe there are other people who can see me, and they know that dreams are real...and that is powerful. If you give a man the ability to grab hold of a thing like that, then you've really set em free."

[Sene Unty]

Sene listened to Jackson's response, and when he was done responded:

"So you want to be an example to those who dream of this, but don't do it?"

[Oriadin]

Jacksons reply was interesting to say the least and would have asked the exact same question as Sene, had he not got there first. He was curious to hear Jacksons reply to this.

[Jackson DeWitt]

"No, not just this. I'm talkin all kinds of dreams...each one's a bit different. Everybody looks somewhere for inspiration, in a thousand different ways, for a thousand different things. If I can do what some have done for me...there's magic in that."

[Oriadin]

Oriadin nodded curiously.

--Ok, why is it you dream of becoming a Jedi then Jackson?--

[Jackson DeWitt]

"I guess cause I'm not the only little guy out there, and I know how life looks from that perspective."

[Maximas]

Maximas sat alone in the corner with his whiskey. He couldnt help but over hear the conversation. He desperatly wanted to laugh. There was no way this fool would ever become a Jedi. Hasnt even got any traits? Hes nothing more than a Jedi fan boy he thought to himself.

[Oriadin]

Although Jacksons motives for wanting and dreaming of becoming a Jedi, they were also slightly worrying.

--Jackson. Most people who want to become a Jedi to it to help people. To pretect people who cant nesseseraly look after themselves. We are rolemodels and keepers of the peace. To seek to become a Jedi because you are small, or weak or not as clever as some people is to do it for the wrong reasons. Its as if you want to become a Jedi to prove people wrong, which is for personal gain.--

He spoke softly, not wanting to upset the man but to explain to him why people should want to become a Jedi.

[Sene Unty]

Sene nodded at Oriadin's statement......personal gain was not something the Jedi accepted....you had to do this for something greater.

Sitting back in his chair he waited for Jackson's response when he overheard a mans scoff. Looking over Jackson's head he saw a man sitting with a whisky in hand laughing. Through the force he could sense resentment coming from him. He must have overheard the discussion between the three of them.

Standing to his feet, Sene moved over to the guy. When he was inches from his chair he leaned in close gathering the mans attention to him. He whispered his question slowly:

"Do you have a problem with what we are saying?"

[Maximas]

Maximas turned around to face Sene. He just looked at him blankly for a few moments before lifting up his glass and taking a sip of his drink. He then looked round to see Jackson then turned back to face Sene.

"No, no problem."

He said, trying not to burst out laughing in the mans face.

"This boy here doesnt have what it takes to be a Jedi. Look at him."

He shook his head and chuckled to himself.

[Jackson DeWitt]

Jackson drummed his fingers on the table for a moment, then suddenly stood from his seat.

"I've got to go."

He didn't look at any of them as he left, because he didn't want to hear the same answers. Maybe some other day...

[Sene Unty]

Sene watched Jackson leave and shook his head. Damn. That was not the way he wanted this to go down. Turning toward Maximus he did not hide his growing anger.

"Who are you to judge like that? To point fingers and scoff. Are you so great that you can throw around accusations like nothing? I'll tell you what. That man has twice the amount of sheer grit and determination as you. I only have to look at your sad display here to know that."

Turning away before he could respond, Sene grabbed his water and found a new place to sit at the bar....as far away from Maximas has possible.

[Oriadin]

Oriadin had come into contact with Maximas before. He seemed to have no patience for anyone and was very much about himself. He was a show off and to be honest, Oriadin hadnt seen anything special of him to warrant the way he acted. Oriadin got up to try and stop Jackson from leaving but he was gone to quick. Oriadin took a long hard look at Maximas. He had no expression on his face what so ever.

Sene decided to speak up. He had a go at Maximas. Oriadin chose not to say anything and instead sat back down in his chair. Sene decided not to sit next to Maximas and moved to a much further away table.

Oriadin sat there thinking. Perhaps there was some truth in what Maximas had said, but he went completely the wrong way about it. Jackson had a heart of Gold, and did not deserve to be treated like that.