Separation: Pain and Sorrow (Complete)

[Taylor Millard]

Pain...he felt it as he staggared from his room. His arm was slick with blood and he felt as though he was about to lose conciousness.

"She...bit me..."he mummered as he fell on the floor, trying to use the Force to heal this wounds.

"s'Il bit me..." Millard felt conciousness leave him and he started remembering...

They'd been in bed, enjoying the company of each other. Taylor and Lok's lips were as tight as their embrace.

Millard did enjoy this part of their relationship, though he preferred to just be around her.

Lok started to kiss down his neck, biting lightly on his neck.

It was then is happened...the bite turned harder and harder. The Dark Jedi felt his fiance's body being to change...muscle's realigning and the smuggler's hair growing.

He tried to push her off of his body, as he knew what was going to happen.

But two minutes later it was too late. Loklorien s'Ilancy was a vornskr...and her teeth were ripping into Millard's shoulder...hard.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

He'd done it. Inadvertant as it may have been, and no matter how innocently used, he'd still done it. And now she'd changed. It was painful. It was always painful, but oddly this time seemed to hurt more than usual.

His use of the force had first caused a spike in her senses; like a sudden jump in static that took over her auditory senses and consumed her, jolting her mind terribly. It hurt, and when it happened again, she had a split second of realization; that he'd for some reason used the force, before she felt the change. The sickening thwock of dislocating joints, that otherworldly fluid sound as her muscles reshaped, and the color draining from her world. She let out a cry, curling into herself as she changed, feeling the bones of her face elongate, her teeth growing to points... she could feel her fingers thicken, feel her nails harden as both feet and hands changed into paws.

Her eyes had shifted to a tawny yellow sheen as hair traveled like wildfire over her body, covering her from muzzle to tail in a silver coat, lush and soft to the touch.

s'Il growled, closing powerful jaws on Millard's shoulder, tearing through skin and muscle as she wrenched powerful neck muscles left and right, ripping flesh and sending blood everywhere. Her teeth severed tendon and even crunched through Millard's collarbone, breaking it with a savage twist that drove bone splinters into the surrounding muscles. Paws held him down, her claws raking his chest as she tore into him with vicious intent.

His use of the force had sent her into a blind rage, and as he managed to push her off and stumble from the room, she stood on the bed, head lowered and blood dripping from a snarling maw. A low growl pierced the air as she stood stock still, chest heaving with her exertions, and in a burst of movement she shot from the bed, claws scratching along the hardwood floor as she ran after him.

[Taylor Millard]

Frell... Millard had to protect himself somehow. He knew Imperial Intel had a camera in his room and they probably saw what had happened.

If he could protect himself...he'd live.

"Lok...please...don't do this," he grabbed Lok by her vornskr throat and tried to keep her off of him.

"Please...don't do this..."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her jaws snapped, sending blood flecked saliva in all directions as he did his best to hold her at bay. It did close to no good as she ran her claws once more down his chest, raising red welts and leaving blood streaks in their wake. Twisting her neck from his grasp, the vornskr dove for his side, her teeth burying themselves into his flesh once more before she began tearing and pulling.

She pulled away to growl in his face, then swiped at his cheek with a strong paw before latching onto one of his arms he used to hold her back, and with a malicious tug, pulled the arm out of its socket.

[Taylor Millard]

"OW!" Millard shouted as he felt his arm separate. He'd have to use what he didn't want to use, he swore he'd never hurt her, and...now he'd have to.

Millard prepared to use the Force to push s'Il back. Not to hurt her, but to keep her at bay.

So much for my arm, Millard slammed his free hand into Lok's vornskr ear, hoping it would release his captured arm.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She yelped a little, shaking her head from the blow, but the strike did little to deter her from her prey as she reared back, letting his arm go in the process.

Another low growl, then she dove in again, going for his already mauled shoulder and sinking her bloodstained teeth into the wound. Standing over him, the creature shifted her stance while taking a better hold of his shoulder, tightening her jaws and lifting him up just a little, intending to shake him unconscious.

[Taylor Millard]

I didn't get to where I am now by using the Force as a crutch.

Millard somehow positioned his feet with just enough leverage to flip the vornskr over. He heard something pop in his shoulder and felt tightness in his neck.

If he didn't stop Lok now...he'd be dead within hours.

But s'Il was on her back now and she had to roll over to get a better grip on him.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

The vornskr rolled to her feet, letting Millard go in order to regain her footing. She backed away a little, snorting blood from her nose before giving the man below her an evil yellow gaze as he did his best to stop her.

She opened her mouth, exposing rows of sharp teeth, and running a tongue over them, licked at any excess blood on her muzzle. She stared at him, growling, and tensing her muscles, leapt once more onto him, this time locking her jaws around his arm and shaking it from side to side with terrible force.

[Taylor Millard]

"You there freeze!" A mechanical voice came from behind the vornskr.

"It's got the Grand Admiral! Get it!"

"DON"T KILL HER!" Millard yelled surprising the two stormtroopers as they burst in.

"Just stun her!"

Blue stun bolts flew towards s'Il threatening to send her into unconciousness.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Yellow eyes turned to regard the stormtroopers, and the vornskr let a low growl form in her throat as she released Millard to face the new arrivals more fully...

And then they fired, bolts lancing at her as she stood, blood dripping from her mouth. She turned then, offering on last snap of her jaws at Millard before tearing away from the stormtroopers, her claws scraping along the floor as she sprinted down the hallway, stun blast following.

[Taylor Millard]

"Grand Admiral are you all right?" The stormtroopers tried to help their leader to his feet, but Millard waved them off with his good arm.

"Get a medic up here with a bacta patch. And hand me that comilink."

He gripped the comlink, giving one last order before collapsing uncouncious.

"Attention all personall in the castle. There is a vornskr loose in the castle. Do not...I repear do NOT shoot it with regular blasters. Stun Beams only. Millard out."

And then he collapsed.

[Eluna Thals]

As the vornskr padded down the hallway in full flight, a red-clad blur ambushed it from an intersecting corridor. In a flurry of motion, the vornskr was skidding backwards, the handiwork of a mathmatically-sound scissor kick that intersected across the beast's fleshy front shoulders. As S'Ilancy began to right herself, the red figure also rose, cocking an eyebrow at the animal as she smiled. Suddenly, she squatted to her haunches, canted her head at an angle, and blinked. Green eyes shifted to emulate the animal's tawny yellow orbs. The human replica droid's lithe form was built for precise motion, symmetry and grace. She lowered her center of gravity in a curious stance, resting back on a curled leg, with her foreleg stretched forward, parallel to her same-sided hand, with palmdown. THe other raised high above, like a ballerina in pirouette. The entire form had a demeanor of comical, which cleverly hid the fang of deadly capability.

The stormtroopers wisely gave appropriate room.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

s'Il steadied herself, shaking her body in an effort to overcome the kick she'd been given, and casting her yellow gaze at this new threat, crouched low, watching everything the woman did with a shifty gaze. She growled, taking a few steps back, and the fur over her shoulders bristled in anger at having been knocked back. The beast snarled, letting out a bark that echoed through the corridor.

Muscles shifting as she moved, s'Il sidestepped slowly, beginning to walk a perameter around the woman in the attempt to once more continue her flight. Fangs bared, she kept a close eye on the other's movements, ready to attack if need be.

[Eluna Thals]

Mimicked tawny eyes followed the Lupine's movements, as her centerline shifted accordingly. Suddenly, Eluna froze, twiddled her outstretched fingers toward the vornskr's muzzle, winked, and air-kissed. In that moment, her bent leg that supported her weight sprung, pitching Eluna toward and above S'Ilancy, her graceful figure falling fluidly into a hands-free cartwheel. Upon descent, her pointed toe knifed through the air, popping audibly across the vornskr's sensitive, cold, wet nose. Eluna, now upright again, smiled broadly, and her body distorted into the angular fighting form of Chi'Ato, a Trandoshan martial art which favored grappling and close quarter striking.

[Thomas]

He was cursing over and over again as he ran down the hall towards where s'Il had run off.

Taylor was hurt...badly, I've failed. was all that repeated in his mind as the Imperial Guardsman held a heavy blaster in bare hands.

He'd been sleeping, as was his usual routine at night. His charge was supposed to be safe at night, especially with s'Ilancy next to him.

But she'd turned on him, in Thomas' mind she had, and any trust she had with him was over.

He had to stop her...and stop her quickly.

He saw the vornskr crouched in attack position, ready to take out the latest recruit, Commander Eluna Thals. Thomas knew Thals' secret of being a Replicant...now he hoped she'd be able to survive.

The Imperial Guardsman raised the heavy blaster rifle, and fired a stun bolt directly at s'Ilancy.

He would succeed in his mission.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

The blow to her nose hurt, and the vornskr stumbled back, lowering her head and bringing her paws to rub at her snout in an attempt to alleviate the pain. Snorting almost uncontrollably to rid herself of the hurt, she shook her head, backing off quickly. She watched Thals, tilting her head to one side as a growl grew in her throat once more. She snapped at the woman, crouching low.

And then another sound reached her ears, and she turned her yellow gaze at the man running down the hall at her, his blaster just recoiling from the shot he'd just fired.

The bolt hit her solidly in the side, and she let out a yelp before falling to the floor, unconscious.

The sound of shifting muscles and bone could be heard then, as s'Il once more shifted into human form; the fluid-like noise an odd one to say the least as she changed unconsciously. Her head broadened out, and her limbs grew long once more, the once silvery fur now gone, and her teeth no longer sharp or fang-like. Her tail was gone, and had she opened her eyes, they would have once more been their original metallic hue.

But they wouldn't be opening any time soon. Lok s'Ilancy lay unconscious, and very much as naked as the day she was born; Thomas' stun bolt having found its mark with deadly accuracy.

[Thomas]

"s'Ilancy is down, I repeat s'Ilancy is down," Thomas said in his comlink as he shot the lupine again.

He didn't care if she was unconcious or not, she was still getting another shot to be safe.

"Commander, let's get her to the brig. And get her some clothes too. I want heavy security on her at all times. Set blasters to stun...Millard still wants her alive for some reason.

"Let's move."

He grabbed the conconcious smuggler by her arm and hauled her up.

[Eluna Thals]

Eluna stood, a pout on her face as the fun abruptly ended. She huffed a bit at Thomas, throwing back red locks over her shoulder as she blinked her iris color back to default. She looked down at S'Ilancy as she changed...and looked at her, still and nude...lying on the floor.

...she was still pretty.

Eluna knelt down, tilting her face slightly, as she licked trace saline that rested on the unconcious Lupine's cheek. Rising to her feet, Eluna blushed, a debaucherous smirk on her face as she walked away...

[Thomas]

Thomas held his anger in check. But his voice said it all.

"I don't believe you, Thals," he snarled, as he hefted s'Il.

"Lok shreds Millard and all you can do is lick her face. I don't care how good you are, you're sick. Now give me hand with this. And get some clothes for her too."

Count one person out of guard duty.

[Eluna Thals]

"I'd think the Grand Admiral would consider safer sex."

Eluna mused with a sideways smirk, stifling an urge to giggle at the guardsman's chastizing.

"How about I shoulder the heavy stuff, and you stick to fashion detail."

She winked, heaving S'Il's limp form nonchalantly over her shoulder, and patting her backside as she did so.

[Thomas]

Thomas growled, his own eyes dangerously flashing.

"Commander, I order you to give the..." he choked on the word "s'Il"...

What was she now? Still Millard's fiance? Still someone who Millard loved? Thomas was unsure...but he didn't trust Thals with s'Il, no matter what.

"Get the lupine straight to the brig. No side trips. That's an order."

[Eluna Thals]

She casually saluted with her off-hand

"At once."

She started off at an energetic pace, affected little by the weight of S'Ilancy's burden. The trip to the brig went with little incident, apart from the occasional imperial officer catching an eyeful of a beautiful, naked woman, hefted by another beautiful woman who was clad in a uniform that outranked their own.

In a word...they knew instantly to know that they had seen nothing at all, whatsoever.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

4 hours later

A single metallic eye opened, and a groan escaped s'Il's mouth as she sat up, her muscles sore. A hand went to the back of her neck, and she rubbed lightly, eyes still half open. Shoulders rotated, as if the motions would ease the lingering pain, and her other hand found its way to her left side; it tingled slightly, and she furrowed her brows in confusion at the hard surface she sat on.

She stopped, taking stock of her surroundings and her confusion doubled.

"What the... "

She was in a cell. A detenion cell.

Something had happened; and the fact that she had no rememberence of what had transpired to land her in the brig caused her heart to skip a beat. She scrambled to her feet, having to sit down once more as the blood rushed from her head.

Another groan, and she lifted her gaze, taking in the sight of the red robed monolith standing over her. It was just a little daunting, and she pushed back against the wall, pressing herself against its cold surface as she kept her gaze on the eyes she knew were behind the black visor. Eyes that she could tell were smoldering in barely controlled anger; just the way the royal gaurd stood told her that much.

s'Il's mouth went dry as she continued to look up at Thomas.

She let out a suddenly shaky breath.

"What happened... "

[Thomas]

"You do not remember?" Thomas glowered at the lupine.

s'Il shook her head still trying to clear it.

"The Grand Admiral is in the medical wing, in surgery right now."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She surged forward as best as she could, staggering once more to her feet.

What had she done? Had she done anything?

"I can't remember anything...

"Please... " she reached out to the gaurd, outstretched fingers grasping a fold of his red robes in near desperation. "What happened... ?"

[Thomas]

Thomas sighed. He knew how Taylor felt for Loklorien, and knew they were to marry. But if she was going to change into a vornskr at every time....

"You changed, and latched onto his body," he stared at her, "He was able to give the order to have you stunned, before he passed out."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She assimilated this information in silence; her eyes closing in a sense of finality.

s'Il shook her head, her grip still firm on his robes and she looked up at him, utterly crushed.

"What's going to happen now...

"To me... ?"

[Thomas]

"That's up to Millard," Thomas replied, "His decision will probably be different from what I recommend."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

s'Il hung her head.

"I can only guess what you'd do with me."

She stared off into the distance.

"... How bad... " she spoke finally.

[Thomas]

Thomas placed a hand on her shoulder.

"He'll live. His surgery should end soon."

He tapped her shoulder lightly with his gloved hand.

"He was apologizing all while he was getting ready to be sedated. He says it's his fault.

"And I believe him."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her jaw tightened as Thomas spoke.

"No. It wasn't his fault. It was mine. I should have left as soon as I was stung. It's all my fault."

She sighed, sidling away from the royal gaurd, and making her way to the corner of the cell, she lowered herself down. Wrapping arms tightly around drawn up knees, she let her head thunk against the wall.

"I should have just disappeared."

[Thomas]

Thomas knew he couldn't trust Lok anymore. It wasn't her fault...and he said so.

"We both know Millard is a Force User. He should have been more careful. And Millard's only going to go after you if you disappear."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She clenched her teeth, refusing to look at Thomas or concede his point.

"It wouldn't matter; I'd just keep running. I've done it before.

"The last thing I want to do is hurt him. I'd do more harm just being with him."

Her eyes closed. "Why would he even want me around anymore... ?"

[Taylor Millard]

"Because," a strained voice came from outside the cell, "I love you."

Taylor Millard, hobbling with a sling on his left shoulder, came into the cell room.

"Let her go, Thomas, and leave me with her."

He saw the shock on Thomas' face.

"I am not using the Force...she cannot hurt me if I do not use the Force. Now go."

Sighing, Thomas walked out of the room.

Taylor turned to his fiance, "Are you all right?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She couldn't look at him; instead staring past him at the closing door as it shut her alone with Millard.

Right now she would have rather been locked in the same cell with a starving rancor. s'Il didn't move, instead she remained curled in the far corner, her head lolling to the side to avoid even looking at Millard.

A single finger twitched, and she sighed.

"I'm fine," she finally offered.

[Taylor Millard]

"I don't even need the Force to know that you're lying Lok," Taylor replied and walked to her.

He grimaced, then sat down next to her.

"I'll be all right. It's my own fault."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

A metallic glare was all that greeted him as he sat, and she stood.

It hurt just to be near him; to look at him and know that his injuries were something inflicted by her.

Looking down at him, s'Il backed away as if he had the plague.

"No, it's mine. I knew you used the force. I should have left as soon as I got stung but I couldn't bring myself to go. And now you're paying the price of my selfishness."

Her teeth ground as she mentally chided herself.

"I have to go."

[Taylor Millard]

"NO!" Millard felt his rage rise, followed by intense sadness.

"Lok you can't leave. What happened happened...we deal with it and go on."

He got to his feet and walked over, "Don't go. I can't live without you."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"But you can't live with me either... "

She retreated from him, her mouth opening though nothing came out. She hit the wall, doing her best to shrink into it.

"Please... you don't understand."

[Taylor Millard]

"Then turn me into what you are. I want to be with you," Millard almost pleaded.

"Please."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She stared at him, unbelieving of what she was hearing.

"No; I can never do that... you know that as much as I do."

Sliding down the wall, she curled in on herself.

"You won't let me go... ?"

[Taylor Millard]

Millard sighed.

"It's your choice Lok. I cannot force you to stay or to leave. I want you to stay. I need you to stay."

He wrapped his arms around her.

"But if you go anywhere, I want to go with you."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"No, you don't want to go with me."

She remained rigid in his embrace, at a loss as to what to do next. She was terrified to even touch him now; petrified that his very touch would incite yet another transformation.

"Taylor... " she choked, having nothing else to say beyond his name.

[Taylor Millard]

He simply held her.

"It's your choice. If you leave you leave...but I will hunt you...and I will find you."

He kissed her forehead, "I love you Lok. Please...don't go."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"What would you do with me... if I stayed... ?"

She wasn't fooling herself though; the moment he let his gaurd down, she would run. In her mind the safest thing for him would be if she simply dropped out of existence.

s'Il loved him too much to risk hurting him again.

[Taylor Millard]

"The incident would be forgotten. I would be more careful during our 'personal time'. And perhaps even have an yslamiri brought into the room while we sleep. That way, I cannot use the Force."

He stroked her face.

"Sound like a good idea to you?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

A nod was all that greeted his suggestion, and she let her head fall against his chest.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

[Taylor Millard]

"It's not your fault, dear, how many times do I have to tell you that. What happened happened...we move on and deal with it. Okay?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her eyes closed as she inhaled deeply, then let it out in a shaky exhale.

"Fine."

But she still refused to believe him. She knew it in her soul; what she'd done crushed her, and she knew she had to escape. If he hunted her, then fine. She could deal with it and take the appropriate course of action.

Only one person would accept her now; and no matter how much Millard professed to still wanting to be with her, she couldn't bring herself to believe him.

Diego Van Derveld was the only one she could run to now.

And she had to be on the move soon.

As soon as Millard turned his back she would be gone.

[Taylor Millard]

He knew she was going to go. Taylor wasn't stupid. When Lok made her mind up, she normally would do what she thought was right. Millard was the same to a degree.

"Where will you go if you leave?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Somewhere where I wouldn't be able to hurt you," was all she said.

And as much as it hurt to tell him what she said next, she still managed to choke out the words.

"... somewhere where you wouldn't be able to find me.

[Taylor Millard]

Millard's eyes glowed dangerously...not by use of the Force, but by his own interal systems.

"My dear Loklorien...there is no way you cannot escape me. If you choose to leave, I will honor it...but I will also find you. You are my fiance and the only one I love.

"This Empire means nothing if you are not here. Please understand that."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Don't say that. Your Empire was around long before I was even born; I've got no bearing on whether it lives or dies."

She pulled away then, looking off to the side.

"I'm a liability now."

[Taylor Millard]

Taylor looked at her.

"Leaders can be replaced. You can't."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"You say you would honor my wish to leave; why hunt me then? What would you do if you caught me?"

She still refused to look him in the eyes.

[Taylor Millard]

"I'd find a cure. Or a way you can be around me without the worry of you changing," he said still looking at her.

"I will honor your wish to leave, but I would still hunt you. Allow me a bit of selfishness please. I apologize. I want you around."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

For now s'Il only listened to his words, standing in his arms motionless.

"Don't apologize; please. You're not the one at fault; I'm the one who hurt you."

She sighed, eyeing the cell; no, cage she'd been placed in. Would Millard keep her here to stop her from leaving, even though he professed to letting her leave if she wanted?

"Am I staying here from now on... ?"

[Taylor Millard]

"No...I would not incarcerate you. I've done it once for breaking the law. You broke no law here."

He pressed a button, opening the door to the cell.

"You're free to go."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her jaw clenched as she watched the door open, and finally looking up at Millard, she met his eyes, her own seemingly devoid of emotion as she turned, stepping out.

She stopped to look up at Thomas, blinking slowly, then turned and slowly headed off in the direction of Taylor's room, shoulders slumped, eyes downcast, and bare feet pattering slightly on the hard floor.

[Taylor Millard]

"You're nuts to trust her," Thomas muttered as they watched Lok's slumped figure walk from view.

Millard stared at his bodyguard, "It was my fault she changed to begin with. I used the Force without even knowing and Lok changed.

"She cannot help what happened to her, Thomas. But she is still the woman I love. And I will stand by her."

He glared down the hall pondering the current situation.

"Talk to all stormtroopers involved in Lok's apprehesion. They are to speak of nothing of this. And you are not to mention this again either. Is that understood?"

Thomas nodded, taking up his Force Pike and following Millard's gaze.

"She will leave you know."

Millard nodded, "I know Thomas...and I will follow her."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She couldn't stay any longer. This she realized as she shuffled miserably through the halls of the castle on her way to the bedroom, and after a few more steps her mind had been made up.

She didn't know how long she had before Millard would follow her back, and she was sure it wouldn't be long, so as she stepped inside the room, s'Il made her way to one the closet.

She pulled on a pair of worn trousers, and an equally old shirt before shrugging an overcoat on over her shoulders. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she slipped her boots on, strapping the buckles tight. She knew Millard had no illusions that she would leave, and that he would also do whatever was in his power to bring her back.

But that was if he could.

s'Il only hoped Diego would take her in; hide her.



Ten minutes later s'Il was taking one last look of the bedroom she'd shared with Taylor Millard; it had been wonderful while it lasted.

Why does everything come to an end for me; except for me...



Her eyes swept over the letter she'd left on the nightstand...

Taylor,

Gods. I knew something would happen; I just didn't know what, nor could I have ever suspected that something like this would be the thing to pull me from you. I don't want to hurt you. That's the last thing I ever want to do. But, seems that I can't even not do that. I can't tell you how much it hurts me to write this, but it's something that needs to be done.

It would have been nice to spend the rest of my life with you.

Just remember I love you; I always will. Nothing will change that. But it's because of that love that I'm leaving you now. I'd never be able to live with myself if I did something like what I just did again; hell, I can't even look you in the eyes anymore. I con't tell you how much that kills me.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

Lok


She was striding quickly down the corridors of the castle, and soon enough her pace quickened into a run; a desperate run to leave Balmorra. her boots pounded the floors as she fled.

She'd catch a civilian flight off-planet. She left everything with Taylor but the clothes on her back.

Her ships. MMU.

The letter.

And the ring he'd given her the night he'd proposed to her on Omar Prime.