Thesis statement.

[Wei Wu Wei]

Ok, guys. I am writing an essay and I need people to look over my thesis statement. I need it to be checked for grammatical errors, any hints of uncertainty, etc. English teacher ways to get lots of people to proofread my stuff, so i thought, "why not get my peeps on the message board to help me?" So, here it is.

In the book, The Woman Warrior The narrator's mother, Brave Orchid is a complete B****.

Thanks for your help, guys.

[Taylor Millard]

That's your thesis statement? O_o

[Zeke]

Hm...it could be interpreted as an opinion as opposed to actual fact. Unless the paper calls for your opinion, its best to write on facts. Maybe a rewording to prevent it from sounding like an opinion?

[Wei Wu Wei]

Well, half of the book supports that statement. I'd call it a fact.

[Taylor Millard]

I'd still be careful about that sort of thesis sentence. It might be fact, but English teachers are strange. It could be taken as an opinion. I would reword it.

[Levi Argon]

Considering bitch is a slang term it may be frowned upon. If I were you I would word the statement more conservatively and professionally.

"Brave Orchid, mother of the narrator in the novel, 'The Woman Warrior' can be described as, in the most blunt of terms, a bitch."

[Taylor Millard]

You'll want to give reasons too. That way you can focus a paragraph on each reason.

[Levi Argon]

What exactly is a thesis statement? Your essay structure is leaving me a little confused.

[Wei Wu Wei]

lol. Ok, ok. I take it I am a little General. In this essay I am to talk about what a character from the book is like, and then explain my resaoning with specific areas of the book. Sorry, but the word "bitch" just seemed to fit the bill.

[Gouyen Chee]

How about saying she's rude, obnoxious and domineering (fer instance), in short, a complete bitch. That would give you something to hang your following paragraphs on that still contains your singularly blunt assessment of the character.

P.S. I majored in English Lit. :D

[Wei Wu Wei]

Oh cool. Yeah, I'm rewording as we speak. Paper has to be 5-6 pages in length.

[Taylor Millard]

While I didn't major in English Lit...I agree with Gouyen.

[Levi Argon]

(Took English Literature for GCSE and A-Level.)

I was thinking that the term bitch is a nice way to represent how awful this character is and one thing that is very important in English Literature; do NOT write solely about fact and reinforce the evidence with your own views and opinions. Don't be afraid to get involved in the piece you are writing, allow to come from both the mind and the heart. There's nothing worse than reading an essay based on fact alone, make it interesting and use as many language techniques as you do point out.

[Wei Wu Wei]

Too cool. I am beginning work on my essay right this very second. I'd post my essay for people to proofread when I am finished with that, BUT I don;t think I could post 5-6 pages worth of essay, and I really don;t think anybody would want to proofread it even if I made it an attachment. But if anybody is willing to offer, please let me know.

[Taylor Millard]

You could always PM people.

[Leeloo Mina]

If I'd only known these boards could help with HS...

:cry

[Wei Wu Wei]

True. Very true. Who wants to proofread my paper when I have finished writing it?

[Daiquiri Van-Derveld]

What about "shrew" or "shrewish"?

[Morgan Evanar]

Actually, it would be more efficient if you just posted it. I read so fast that proofreading something several times doesn't bother me (unless I'm doing the editing while my eyes begin to flutter and the keyboard gets drool on it. Then its time for bed =] )

[Kaytor Surna]

*Is so glad her humanities teacher only makes her write 5-6 paragraph essays.*

She still hates me though. Wei's sentence could be used to explain my teacher very well.

[Jehova Eaven]

I hate college, they keep trying to make me think... don't they know that I don't think?

[Wei Wu Wei]

Parts of the Woman Warrior were totally random and in my opinion, quite pointless. LIke she talks about a baby born without an anus, and it tries so hard, and makes faces like itis really trying to take a poo, but cant get it out. And then her Grandpa lays his naked penis on the dinner table and starts laughing for no reason. It was lame.

[Seerrasseei Tsseerra]

o_O what kinda of school do you go to?

[Xazor Elessar]

o_O

Whoa.......okay, sounds like an (ahem) interesting (riiiiight.....) book. :lol What kind of school do you go to, Wei?? :lol

[Dante]

umm... if the essay is as icky as that, i dont wanna read it, but ive got nothin better to do, so i could proof it for ya.

ps - am doin gcse english lit