PDA

View Full Version : Angina Pectoris



imported_Taja Loraan
Sep 24th, 2002, 03:12:14 AM
Coruscant was, indeed, a city that lived.

Taja's first excursion to the planet had been for no purpose other than for the sake of extending her knowledge of the universe. At the time, she was little more than a wandering learner, completely lacking in aspiration.

Observation was an implement that could be sculpted into serving a variety of masters. Prolonged scrutiny of any culture inevitably resulted in the dividing of one's future into two very different destinies: good and bad, right and wrong. Righteous or sinful. It is then, once this choice has been made, that the fruits of one's laborious studies can be employed.

The decision had not been so simple a matter for Taja; she progressed irrevocably down one path, only to veer around and follow the other. And then that, too, proved to be a lost cause. Though she harbored few regrets for her failures ... as cliched as the saying was, whatever didn't kill you, made you stronger.

And for the first time, she was learning to manipulate this hidden strength to her own will. As a Dark Jedi.

This visit was, however, not intended for conducting the Hand's business. But considering the nature of Coruscant's metropolis and its residents, it would more than likely become such ... Even though Taja was sitting inside a lackluster coffeehouse, as ordinary as they could come. It seemed that these places were magnets for attracting attention, especially of the aggressive sort.

At least, this was what she was hoping for; violence always made for more interesting observation.

SashaKovalev
Sep 24th, 2002, 08:16:13 AM
He had only been to this city once before. But he hadnt really seen it. He’d arrived as an apprentice, at the time of Lord Dyzm, on the ship of one of the masters of the Sith order, Live Wire. Along with him had been her apprentice, Darth Krieg. Sasha wasn’t sure what had become of him, for he seemed to have been missing for quite some time, but such was the way of the Sith life, and there was little time for worry, sorrow, or regret.

He had been escorted, on official business, from the ship directly to the apartment kept by the order in the heart of the city. He had viewed the city from the roof – but only for a brief time before it had been interrupted by Maester Wargrave. His battle with the two apprentices had been child’s play. And Sasha had returned to Corellia with various wounds, among them his pride.

Despite this last visit, he did not hate the city. It was teeming with excitement and adventure, and that was exactly, what he lived for. That and the lure of the dark side.

He had come in late last night and stayed in the same place where he had almost lost his life the last time. He had stood on the roof, thinking of the mistakes he had made the last time he’d stood there, and how far, now, he had come in his training. Far enough to have been knighted.

This morning, he had taken the elevator down to the lobby and out the front doors to the street where he had begun walking. His hair was still wet from his shower, and it curled slightly at the ends from the fact that it was a bit too long, giving him a tousled, just woke up sort of look about him. His lightsaber he carried, for the city was a dangerous one. Hat and he never went anywhere without it.

It was late in the morning, and the streets were a bit quieter than they had been only hours before when people were rushing to get to work, or to school. He wasn’t hungry just yet, but he did want a coffee. And so he pushed open the door to the coffeehouse, and stepped inside.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly as he made his way to the counter, ordered his coffee, and then made his way over to the other counter where he could add milk and sugar. When this was done, he turned and was just about out the door when someone on the other side threw it open. It knocked the coffee from his hand, spilling all over him, and the woman who had been sitting at a nearby table.

imported_Taja Loraan
Sep 26th, 2002, 11:30:37 AM
"Frell!"

She sat bolt upright in her seat, knocking over the stool in doing so. The scalding hot liquid had soaked through the thick material of her corduroys and gloved hands, which were conveniently folded on her lap at the time of the man's accident (or so she hoped was the case). At least the consequent injuries would be concealed; Taja was more vulnerable to heat than the regular patron.

It was ironic how warmth had only recently been a comfort she was violently deprived of. Following her 'return' of sorts from the depths of lunacy, she exercised practically no control over her own abilities - the same which otherwise regulated her cold blood.

But as time elapsed, the shadows gradually yielded once more to her control, coating her body (and mind) almost as a second skin. Whatever little heat was requisite for her to function was kept trapped and the surplus converted into glacial temperatures, causing Taja's touch to feel deathly cold.

It was paradoxical, but a truth nonetheless. The boiling coffee had penetrated that invisible layer and thus burnt her sensitive skin.

"That really wasn't very nice."

Her words were laced with sarcasm as she shook her hands fiercely in an attempt to somehow cool them. The man was quite perceptibly a Sith and from her experience, kindness was lacking in their vocabularies.

SashaKovalev
Sep 26th, 2002, 05:36:12 PM
“What the &@$*??” He cursed, coffee splattering all over him and the woman nearby. Whoever it was behind the door heard the anger and disappeared, apparently leaving the scene of the crime to find coffee elsewhere.

That really wasn't very nice. Her voice dripped with sarcasm and he turned from his glare at the door to look at the woman who had also fallen victim in the great coffee massacre.

Violet eyes stared at her for a moment as she shook her hands. He thought she was doing it just to rid them of the coffee, not because she had been harmed in any way.

He stooped to pick up the fallen cup and shoved it into the trash receptacle before replying.

“I’m not known for being nice.” He retorted, making a mockery of the last word that he spoke, having it drip heavy with distaste. It wasn’t that he was typical of most sith, unfeeling and hellbent on destruction of everything in his path, but he was quick to anger, and had little patience for stupid people.

He sighed.

“But Im not known for being a real jerk, either.” He reached for some napkins, holding them out to her.

“Even though you’ve apparently already formulated that opinion of me in the two seconds it took for me to pour coffee all over you.” A slight sparkle of amusement dancing in his eyes, and an almost impish expression briefly crossed his normally serious features.

imported_Taja Loraan
Oct 3rd, 2002, 11:55:10 AM
"Am I to believe otherwise? I thought your kind liked being deemed as nasty little creeps."

Glancing at the nearby customers, she kicked the stool back into an upright position. The few people in the tavern barely acknowledged the incident and those who did reacted with no more than a low grunt; it was too early to care. Only the barkeep frowned, his eyes narrowing suspiciously but even he returned to his business once Sasha had dealt with the mess.

She studied the man's features while he spoke, her apathetic gaze piercing far deeper than just skin and bone. What she saw mirrored herself in many ways: he was not as malicious as certain others belonging to the same faction, and yet harbored a rage that was fatal if unleashed. However, whereas Taja kept this anger buried within ... Sasha adapted it to fuel his thirst for power, as was the case with most Sith.

As he handed her the tissues, the Dark Jedi's lips curled upward slightly in a thin smile.

"On that note ... Taja Loraan."

For a moment she considered extending a hand in a friendly gesture but, given the nature of her wounds, decided against it and instead simply nodded.

SashaKovalev
Oct 3rd, 2002, 12:30:27 PM
I thought your kind liked being deemed as nasty little creeps.

He raised an eyebrow. His kind. For a moment, he wondered if the lightsaber had tipped her off, but he knew before this thought was fully processed that there was more to it. This much he could feel within the force.

He rolled his eyes.

"Creep, perhaps. Little...no, never." He replied easily. Her gaze was apathetic as she looked at him, seemily studied him. He was used to this to a degree, for he knew he did the same to others...sized them up. But the way she managed to look as if she didnt care, while her eyes burned holes through him was slightly unnerving.

When she introduced herself, he nodded, committing her name to memory.

"Im Sasha." He replied. He didnt often give his last name, not to be secretive, but more because on the small planet he'd come from, where most people knew each other, it hadnt been necessary.

"And I dont normally introduce myself by throwing coffee on people...."

He glanced back at the counter, then to her.

"Can I get you a coffee or anything?" He offered.

imported_Taja Loraan
Oct 6th, 2002, 11:48:44 AM
Taja snorted and shoved past him, her petite frame knocking unusually heavily against his shoulder. She paced forward and slid into a quiet booth by the side of the cafe and, looking behind her to motion for a server droid, noticed that the man had followed her over. Shrugging, she idly kicked her feet up on the tabletop.

"No thank-you. I can get my own," she finally answered and, with a scoff, added, "and I doubt I'm as likely to spill mine."

SashaKovalev
Oct 7th, 2002, 07:18:22 AM
His violet eyes narrowed as she shoved by him. She was petite, and while the shove wasnt as hard as it would have been from someone bigger, the point taken was the same. His violet eyes narrowed as his temper was tested.

He'd been trying to be polite, and it hadnt been his fault coffee had been spilled in the first place.

Her rudeness to him only added to his opinion of this planet. He'd been trying to give it a second chance, but this attempt seemed to be a waste of time.

"And you're probably less likely to win any awards for being forgiving either - not that it would matter any to you." He replied, the tone of his voice quickly changing from apologetic to cool, perhaps even annoyed.

He suddenly didnt care so much for coffee anymore. Not here, at least. He was plenty awake with the annoyance and...anger that were pumping with his blood through his veins.

He knew he shouldnt have let her little comment get to him so much, but it did.

imported_Taja Loraan
Oct 9th, 2002, 10:00:04 AM
"You're right. It wouldn't."

The corners of her mouth twitched and she bit down on her bottom lip, as per habit; her moody attitude had apparently peeved him off, and he was making no real attempt to disguise this fact. He seemed likeable enough, but the added haughtiness caused by his Sith teachings made Sasha that much more enjoyable to watch.

Uncrossing her legs, she tapped the space across from her with the heel of her boot. "Care to join me?"

SashaKovalev
Oct 9th, 2002, 11:59:43 AM
He'd been about to turn for the door when she'd asked him if he wanted to join her.

She didnt want a damn cup of coffee from him, but she wanted his company?

Women, he thought, shaking his head, were really too confusing. Particularly when he'd only just woken up a little bit ago.

"Im not sure if I care to or not, but I suppose I will..." He answered, his voice carrying a bit less annoyance, perhaps bordering on intrigue. He paused for a moment, and then finally slid into the seat across from her.

"I'd suggest starting over, and pretending I never spilled coffee all over you, but you seem to be the type to hold a grudge..." He commented.

imported_Taja Loraan
Oct 15th, 2002, 03:17:59 AM
She tutted and waved her foot from side to side in disapproval; the soles of her boots were directly in Sasha's face as her legs were still raised on the table. "And you say I'm quick to judge." Taja smirked. "I'm just not very keen on men always paying. Too chauvinistic for my liking."

The catering droid had by now reached their booth, and she ordered two cups of coffee before turning to him with a raised eyebrow. "So what's an evil Sith like you doing on a Jedi-infested planet like this?"

As the droid was about to leave, Taja stopped it again. "Anything else you want?"

She shrugged.

"It's on me."

SashaKovalev
Oct 15th, 2002, 08:01:48 AM
As she tutted, wiggling her foot in disapproval, he moved his chair slightly, then tipped back in it, balancing it on the back legs. His mother, his teachers, had always told him not to do this, but it seemed it was a habit he would never break.

He rolled his eyes at the suggestion that getting her a cup of coffee after spilling his all over her was chauvanistic. He'd been raised by a single mother and had enough respect for women not be be a chauvanist. His offer had simply been out of respect - something his mother had drilled into him during the 17 years of his life that she had been alive.

He shook his head in answer to her offer of anything but a coffee.

"No, thanks." He replied, and waited until the droid had left before he answered her question.

He shrugged, as if the jedi didnt bother him all that much.

"The jedi are everywhere. I not going to live my life according to where they are or where they arent." He replied.

"And Im actually just here to give this planet a second chance. My last visit here was not exactly the kind I'd like to write home about..."

"What about you?" He asked.

imported_Taja Loraan
Oct 15th, 2002, 11:53:49 AM
Picking up on his surface thoughts, she grinned. "Pardon me if I seem hypercritical. Too much respect is something I have, quite frankly, become sick of," she said, thinking back to her ... former self. Of course, that facet of her was still, and perhaps forever would be, very much alive in the furthest recesses of her mind. That little corner where every whisper sounded so loudly - and yet so obscurely -, it was hard to tell them apart from her own thoughts.

And yet, were her thoughts ever really her own?

Blinking her mind back to the present, she offered an artificial smile and laugh. "Now I opt for downright bitchiness. Think I'm pulling it off well? And as for why I'm here. Observation, my sweet. Observation ..." Her voice trailed off as she turned her head sideways to look out the window.

SashaKovalev
Oct 15th, 2002, 12:34:13 PM
He gave her a look to indicate that he didnt approve of her skimming his thoughts. It was his fault, he knew, for leaving them there on the surface for her to pick up on. They were harmless enough, and so he said nothing about it. His glance would be enough.

And if she picked up on it, his sarcastic thoughts of her being rude to snoop. Most force users did it - anything that would put them at an advantage.

As the server droid returned with their coffees, he returned his chair to all four legs.

He added some cream, a hell of a lot of sugar, then kicked back again and looked to her.

"Yeah, I think you've got the bitch thing down perfectly." He replied. It wasnt insulting, the way he said it, only merely agreeing with what she had just expressed.

"And what are you observing?" He asked, taking a sip of the coffee, testing first to see how warm it was.

imported_Taja Loraan
Oct 15th, 2002, 01:19:18 PM
"You," she answered, her gaze outside the window unwavering.

Another voice simultaneously nudged its way into Sasha's mind. Its tone was mournful, even repentant. She was cursed with the ability to hear anything and everything ... So much so that it was at times difficult to distinguish between the subliminal whispers and actual speech.

You know, I really can't help overhearing. You think too loudly.

SashaKovalev
Oct 15th, 2002, 01:59:17 PM
You

For a moment he stared into his coffee, his senses coming alive and the gutteral instinct of survival kicking in. But he felt nothing from her to indicate he should be concerned for his health just yet, and so he relaxed slightly. As much as he would allow himself in the presence of another who was clearly a force user, though not one he was familiar with or had a good guage on.

He heard her tell him, almost mournfully, as if she hadnt wanted to hear them in the first place, that he thought too loudly, and for a moment, he smiled into his coffee to try to hide his anger with himself. This was true. All too true. It was his weakness, and no matter how strong he would come to be in other areas, his thoughts and his emotions would always betray him.

"Why me?" He finally asked, violet eyes staring over his coffee towards her.

imported_Taja Loraan
Oct 19th, 2002, 11:26:24 AM
To Sasha's surprise, the Dark Jedi began quietly humming a tune, still refusing to meet his gaze. However, it did provid, in a twisted sense, an answer to his question ... though perhaps not the one he might have expected. "I find you fascinating ..."

As she whispered the next lyric, her head snapped around but in place of her hazel irises, there were now two crimson pools, absent of any whites and purely blood-red save for a narrow black slit in the center of each.

"Your eyes are full of bleach."

SashaKovalev
Oct 21st, 2002, 11:51:32 AM
As she began humming a tune, still refusing to meet his gaze, he felt frustration slowly building.

I find you fascinating ...

His cheeks might have flushed briefly, but he didn’t have time to really think much about these words. Only moments after she’d spoken, her head snapped around to face him, her pretty hazel irises replaced with creepy crimson pools, purely blood-red save for a narrow black slit in the center of each.

Your eyes are full of bleach.

He was quite used to the changing eye colors, for this seemed, in this galaxy at least, to be relatively common. But he would be lying if he tried to claim that red eyes didn’t still bother him, no matter how many times he had seen them.

He wasn’t sure how to take this next comment. Yes, his eyes were an odd color, something he had inherited from his mother. But her eyes….well..she was one to talk.

“Whats that supposed to mean?” He asked, shifting slightly in the chair, the only visible sign that she made him slightly uncomfortable.

imported_Taja Loraan
Oct 23rd, 2002, 02:49:43 PM
She remained perfectly silent, but the same did not apply inside Sasha's head. Taja, the cafe, and everything that would normally have been perceptible to his vision were suddenly snatched away, to be replaced by a face he was all too familiar with.

"Sasha ..." it breathed.

The woman smiled down warmly at him, and gently caressing his hair as only a mother could, drew him to her bosom. The Sith could feel hot tears burning the back of his neck. The strength of the embrace and of her cries suggested a finality that made his skin tingle with fearful anticipation and he hugged her tighter, not wanting to lose her for a second time.

But all too late, she was pulled viciously away from him. Her anguished screams drowned his senses, for not only did he hear her wails, he also felt her pain acutely, as if it was his own. His stomach churned, and his insides were set ablaze with an invisible flame ...

SashaKovalev
Oct 23rd, 2002, 03:21:52 PM
It had felt so....real. And he had been deceived by it. Deceived enough that as he recovered, his insides churned sickeningly, and the hot blaze of anger threatened to make him explode.

His chair set back down on the floor with a screeching thud of metal and in an instant he was on his feet, overturning the table between he and Taja.

Anger flashed in his violet eyes as he glared at her.

Abusive, sadistic, and whore being among the only speakable words that he growled at her. The others were rather...foul.

imported_Taja Loraan
Oct 28th, 2002, 11:23:37 AM
She stared placidly at Sasha as he seethed and fumed and cursed. Her face, nor her gaze, flickered once, and the upturned table gently returned to its normal position. She again placed her legs on its grimy surface and waited patiently for the tirade to end. Once it seemed as though he was at a loss for more offensive words, she took a sip from her as yet untouched cup of tea.

"Are you done yet?"

SashaKovalev
Oct 28th, 2002, 11:46:44 AM
Are you done yet?

"Am I done yet?" He demanded in return. He could feel the heat of anger flushed in his cheeks.

He barely noticed the other patrons of the coffeehouse as they stared in a mixture of horror, disbelief, or as one would when passing by an accident.

"Yeah, I am." He stated as he turned and pulled open the door of the coffeeshop. As he did so, the person who had been leaning on it from the outside to come in fell at his feet.

Again, he let go a string of curses, and with perhaps a bit of help from the force dragged the startled person to his feet. Glasses were canted off the man's nose, and his newspaper had scattered across the floor.

The angry young knight shoved the man out of his way and stormed out of the coffeehouse, slamming the door behind him.

He stood just outside the door, wrought on some form of destruction. Her illusion had rattled him, and for this, he was angry. And he needed something, somene to take this out on.

imported_Taja Loraan
Oct 30th, 2002, 03:44:21 AM
"How does it feel..." the by-now familiar voice whispered softly in his ear, her breaths falling gently on the back of his neck, "...to have a heart?"

SashaKovalev
Oct 30th, 2002, 09:08:01 AM
Her voice was too familiar by now. Her breath on the back of his neck causing a mixture of emotions. He hated her for what she had done to him, yet, being a Sith, hatred and anger were familiar emotions, emotions that caused the rush of adrenaline that he craved. In this state, his senses were heightened, and the heat of her breath on his neck, contrasted with the cool air of the outside awakened something within him. For a moment he didn’t move. He didn’t reply.

And then slowly he turned his head to look at her.

“How does it feel to be without one?” He countered.

imported_Taja Loraan
Nov 4th, 2002, 12:26:45 PM
"I can't remember," she said, chewing absently on her bottom lip. For years whatever compassion she knew - or any other feelings, for that matter - had been kept buried deep within the darkest recesses of her mind. Calling for release, just to be ignored and driven to the brink of insanity. Months had passed since then, but did she miss it? "Empty. So... empty..."

Yes.

As Sasha turned to face her, she again looked away from him. Her eyes, having regained their natural pigmentation, now stung bitterly. Love? No... her heart was capable of only the gravest sorrow and pain. What she had made the Sith experience... she too had felt all the emotional turmoil within him. All she wanted was to sense that bonding that came with family. A link she had never truly known, and one that her son was also deprived of.

She pivoted on her heel and began to walk away from him. "I'm sorry," she mumbled to no one in particular. "I'm sorry..."

SashaKovalev
Nov 4th, 2002, 02:17:14 PM
I can't remember

He shook his head in response to her answer, as if he deserved some sort of real answer from her after what she’d just put him through.

Empty. So... empty...

She seemed to be mumbling to herself, and then she looked away from him. And without a word, she pivoted on her heel and began to walk away from him.

I'm sorry…I'm sorry...

He reached out for her arm before she got very far. His gesture was light – not a demanding or angry tug.

“Why did you do that?” He asked

imported_Taja Loraan
Nov 9th, 2002, 02:54:36 PM
She faced away from Sasha, even as he gently motioned for her to stop. The tears were becoming harder to restrain by just blinking back and she wiped her hand quickly across her eyes, hoping his attention was too occupied elsewhere to notice.

"I..." her voice broke as soon she began and she cleared her throat loudly, shaking her head to empty it of all its distorted thoughts. "I," she started again, then stopped just as suddenly. What was she doing?!

"No reason," she finally replied, hair falling over face to hide her strained features.

SashaKovalev
Nov 11th, 2002, 09:51:09 AM
He’d seen his mother cry enough times to know a woman who was crying and trying to hide it. His mother had cried nearly every day of his life that he remembered, though, he had never, while she was alive, understood why.

Taja continued to face away from him and twice tried to answer, her voice breaking as she did.

No reason

With enough pressure, she finally turned to face him, her hair falling across her face in an effort to continue to hide.

In a familiar gesture, one he’d done often with his mother, and later with girlfriends, he reached to brush the hair from her face, tucking it gently behind her ear.

“And why are you crying now?” He asked. He didn’t believe she’d truly acted for no reason at all, not if it affected her so much right now.

imported_Taja Loraan
Nov 25th, 2002, 07:24:28 PM
He pushed the stray locks of hair away from her face, but one hand was still resting on Taja's arm. She stared at it for a minute before grabbing it in a vice-like grip, her fingers wrapping viciously around his palm, nails digging into his skin. At once a torrent of images flooded his mind, but not the illusions the Dark Jedi had conjured using what already existed in Sasha's heart. These were fragments of her past... memories that she had, in all the years since she left her homeplanet, shared with only her Master.

The flashes lasted for only a few seconds, but had within that time conveyed to the Sith all her resentments, all her regrets... all her guilt for having abandoned her own infant child. And with it, he felt her need to make amendments, evoked by that small glimpse she had caught of Sasha's history.

Taja loosened her grasp. Her fingers still rested on the back of his hand and she looked imploringly into his violet eyes. "Will you help me?"

SashaKovalev
Nov 25th, 2002, 08:58:46 PM
In the few second before her memories hit him, he had almost struggled, for her vicelike grip and her nails digging into his skin had surprised him. He had expected her to behave as she had before, only...instead he was assaulted with memories that were not his own.

Memories that belong to a mother, the mother of an abandoned child. At once he felt regret, resentment, and a flood of guilt wash over him. Her feelings. Her grasp slowly loosened, but yet, she clung to him, and her eyes looked to his, imploring him to help.

He understood now, something about her. And more than that, he understood how her child felt. He had always wondered about his father - who the man was and why he had left - he had no doubt that even if Taja's child was happy, the child would want to know the story of its mother.

Slowly, he nodded, his expression serious and compassionate.

"Yes," He began, "I will help you."

imported_Taja Loraan
Dec 4th, 2002, 06:28:09 AM
Just as soon as he had voiced his avowal, Taja did something quite unexpected, both in the sense that it was done by a Dark Jedi and that it was to a Sith: she reached up on her toes, wrapped her arms around Sasha's neck, and pulled him close in a hug. "Thank you," she breathed. She then moved away smiled, slightly but genuinely.

SashaKovalev
Dec 4th, 2002, 08:18:50 AM
Her hug was unexpected, particularly in light of what, up until only moment ago, had seemed like a rather emotionless person. He knew, and this experience only furthered the knowledge that people were not to be judged by looks, nor by first impressions. Always, people would harbor surprises – particularly force users.

By the simple fact that most sheltered their true feelings from others, kept them inside as a protective mechanism. And he knew now, that there was more to Taja than she usually let on.

As she wrapped her arms around his neck, he allowed himself the natural reaction of holding her close. Not in any sense was the gesture romantic, but rather as a brother and sister might share.

When she pulled away, and offered him her small, but genuine smile, he tucked this vision of her away. He knew it would be rare that he saw her in this light, and for some odd reason, he wanted to remember it.

And then he offered her his arm, so that they might take a walk.

“Not that it matters what I think,” He began as they walked, “But if it offers you any sort of consolation, I think you’re doing the right thing” He stated, referencing her desire to make amends for mistakes in her past concerning her child.

imported_Taja Loraan
Dec 27th, 2002, 04:15:17 AM
Hooking her arm around his, she slowly fell into step beside Sasha and furrowed her brows in thought. "I hope you're right... I really do," she mumbled. "And it does matter what you think."

They walked together in silence for some minutes, before Taja looked up at him and asked tentatively, "If you don't mind my asking... what exactly happened..? With your mother, I mean..." She paused, hoping the Sith would not be offended by her inquiry.

SashaKovalev
Dec 30th, 2002, 02:20:11 PM
If you don't mind my asking... what exactly happened..? With your mother, I mean...

Violet eyes stared straight ahead as they continued to walk. There was no falter in his stride, and the only visible sign of possible discomfort was the silence between them. He didn’t answer her immediately,, but instead kicked at a pebble. Finally, when he was ready to speak, he cast her a thoughtful glance. His broad shoulders shrugged and he sighed softly.

“She died of a broken heart, I think.” He finally answered.

He paused, reflecting for a moment on memories of his mother. She had been a strong woman, but there had always been something about her that seemed to be missing. Her body had been with her child, but her heart and mind had died along with her husband.

“My father died when I was very young. I don’t remember anything about him. I only remember my mother struggling to make ends meet in order to give me a place to call home. I think she just hung in there long enough to be sure I’d be ok on my own and then she gave up.”

He shrugged again.

“She was sick for as long as I remember. I’d come home from school and she’d be sitting there, just staring out the window. Or crying.”

These memories floated close enough on the surface of his mind that had she tried, she would have easily picked them up.

“But at least I had the chance to know her.” He added, the anger at never knowing his father simmering just below the surface.

“What are you hoping will come out of your search?” He asked, referring to the fact that she now planned to find the one she had once abandoned.

imported_Taja Loraan
Feb 24th, 2003, 09:11:31 AM
"I'm sorry," she repeated again, although this time the apology was meant as a sign of understanding rather than the confused mutterings of someone reliving a painful memory. The Empath could easily discern the thoughts and feelings on the outer rind of his mind without even intending to, and she sensed the same intense, varying emotions he felt, past the outmost shell and through into his inner coil. Sighing heftily, she rested her head on Sasha's shoulder.

"I remember my mother crying," she continued. "She was so weak... I admired her perseverance, but I hated her for being so frail. She could never stand up to her husband --" here she paused, her mouth contorting with distaste, "-- my father. And when she did, it always ended in tears, or worse."

Her eyes glazed over and she pulled herself closer to Sasha's side, as an unconscious gesture of dread. She could see the little blonde-haired child, clutching fearfully onto her elder brother's sleeve as they cowered from their parents' abuse, verbal and not; the rebellious teenager, loathing their every word and action and slowly detaching herself from reality; and finally, the young girl who ran away from home with what she had then presumed to be her 'knight in shining armor', later witnessing the assassination of her own father.

No, life isn't all peaches and cream.

"I recently went on a trip to the planet Cayss, once allied with my home-world, to search for information on... well, I don't really know what I was looking for, but I found it. Apparently my brother is still alive out there, somewhere... and he's no longer a Jedi. Complete switchover." Taja smiled subtly and gave a small, weary chuckle. "Is this story cliched or what? But as for what I hope to discover..."

She mirrored his shrug, heaving her shoulders nonchalantly. "Everybody needs to feel as though they belong somewhere, right? Someplace to call home... someone to call family. Have you never been curious about your father?"

SashaKovalev
Feb 24th, 2003, 09:40:45 AM
“Curious?” He repeated, shaking his head in irritation, not with her, but with the topic that had for years and years haunted him.

“Ive been <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont>ing angry is what I’ve been.” There was emotion in this statement, an anger that simmered just below the surface and bubbled over as he thought about it.

He made some effort to control these emotions, though it was difficult for him. He released a controlled sigh, as if he’d been counting to ten.

“My mother never told me anything about my father. And for most of my life, until recently, really, I’d wondered if she even had a clue who my father was. Yeah I was curious. I wanted to know what traits I got from him, where I came from….”

He shook his head.

“The same questions any kid wants to know about their parents. The same things your kid probably wants to know about you.” He added pointedly.

“So you want a family now? You want to find this kid and try to be a family?” He asked, repeating what he’d taken from her last statement about what she now wanted out of this.