If it aint broke, BREAK IT!!!

[The Preacha]

*Thar it is.....da Bar n' Grill. Da place where's I beena sermonizin' fo da past a..10...12....da...well.....its beena long time since I started. Well 'ats beside da point. Dem heathens in thar aint seen the light yet, but all 'ats gonna change.

Sees I gots me an idea that'll show 'em the way ta....*

"....REDEMPTION!"

*OOPS! I cupped my hand over my mouth and ducks behind the bushes aside da bar, again. I forgots I was hidden out. Can't let the DEMONS know what I plan ta do.

Then I saws it. One o' dem flyin' motor skooters came a' traipsin ta the front o da bar. I been watchin' that feller come and go fer the past week on 'at thar machine. He always comes at da same time everyday and leaves at da same time everyday.

Sees I figer if'n they won't listen ta a walkin' minister. Maybe they'll listen ta a......FLYIN' PREACHA. But first I gots ta get me that thar skooter, 'en I'll have their attentions.

Hope he don't mind donatin' his 'cycle to the cause o (hand over heart) the BRONZE TUNA!

Alriiiiight, almost ready.*

[Inu]

A voice came from behind the Preacha, edged with malicious intent.

"Spreading the good word again, monk?"

[The Preacha]

*My plottin' wuz cut short by a voice behinds me. I turned about to see nun other than.....DA FUNNY MAN.*

"Yes, I plans on sermonizin' and preachafyin' about (hand over heart) the Bronze Tuna! Now lessin' you want another bath in purifyin' water, I suggest yuse stay outta the way o'.....REVIVAL!!!"

[Inu]

"Ooh, 'REVIVAL'!" he mocked. "Go on then, let's see it."

Once this monk had made a sufficient fool of himself, the Jackel would be on hand to rid the Bar and Grill of their religious pestilence.

[The Preacha]

*With that settled n' all, I wents back ta da plan.

There 'e goes, now its time.*

"AH HA!"

*I ran over an' jumped atop da skooter.

Now if'n I only knew how ta work this thang*

[Inu]

Inu-Aku was next to him in a flash.

"That one."

He tapped a button on the machine's control panel and it took off, the Preacha struggling for control.

Hey! That's mine!

Inu-Aku tripped the man as he tried to follow and pressed his face into the dirt with a foot.

"Get over it. He'll be back soon enough."

[The Preacha]

"SWEET MOTHER O'....."

*I wasn't able ta finish my sentence 'cause da skooter ups and took off sa quick after da funny man touched dat thar button. I went ta flippin an' aflyin' EVERYWHERE.*

[Inu]

Inu-Aku laughed.

"Where's the revival, monk?" he called out as the Preacha came by at a tremendous speed.

[Marcus Telcontar]

"I believe" said a cold and emotionless voice from behind Inu-Aku "you and I are about to have a discussion"

The speeder bike, switched off, commanded to by the Force, used to hit the kill switch. The Bike sank gently to the ground, while from the shadows, a hooded and cloaked figure came into view.

[Inu]

Inu-Aku moved, and the man stood to reclaim his speeder bike. The Jackel grinned wildly.

"And what is it we are discussing?"

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Manners"

The jackal suddenly gained a good 10 meters of height, hnaging upside down...... and being moved so his fall would be above a garbage shredder.

"No matter how obnoxious a guest is, they are to be left unmolested, unless the Jedi say differently. Besides, the Preacher amuses me. Nice view up there?"

[Inu]

"Very." Despite his danger, Inu-Aku's attitude didn't change. "He amuses me as well. So I will help him in his quest for...REVIVAL!" In a perfect imitation, no less. "The monk wished to hijack the speeder. I helped him. I have done nothing to wrong him...yet..."

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Really. Well, let's say that the issue of the Speeder, I will take up with Master Preacher in a moment. Now, if you like causing trouble, I'm the consequence."

The jedi Master let his grip on Aku go. Damn, his aim sucked - the other only hit the side of the shredder and bounced outwards. Still, that had to hurt. Now, wehre was this Preacher character gotten to? Stealing speeder was a no go here.

[Inu]

Inu-Aku hit the shredder's side, face inches from the shredder itself. His eyes widened with the sharp pain, then he landed outside, sitting, glaring at Marcus. The man had a powerful force around him, clearly he was a master of the light. The Jackel cursed. Another added to the list of vengeance...this one would be the tallest order to fill.

[The Preacha]

*Dat skooter came a hoverin' down real slow like, not dat I'm complainin' nun. My preachin' mask wuz all sidewayz and my hair wuz apushed back, not ta mention the plastered look on my face with my mouth all open.*

"Did anybooody...getta goood looook......o' dat baaaantha what run over......me."

*'En I fell off'n da cycle, face first.*

[Diego Van Derveld]

A pair of nondescript work boots stood in front of where the preacher fell, the weight of their wearer causing the black loam soil to depress slightly beneath.

"Another test of faith, preacher?"

[The Preacha]

*I raized my head up a bit and who duze I see? Nun other than.....HAIRY MAN!!*

"No thank ya. I tink I'll justa lay har a minute...."

*My head fell back inta da dirt.*

"....or two."

[Diego Van Derveld]

Diego canted his head to the side, a thin smile on his face.

"Isn't sloth one of those deadly sins you preach against?"

[The Preacha]

*I raised my hand up wit my face still asuckin' dirt.*

"Whoever wrote dat never rode one o' dem satanic pieces o' mochinery."

*I den pinted at da flyin' skooter.*

"I tell ya I think thar outta be a law agin 'em."

[Diego Van Derveld]

Diego's smile broadened.

"Oh I agree. If a man can get to a place on his own feet, then he should. Its the only way to travel."

[The Preacha]

*I puts my hands adown sose I could lifts myself up again. When I gots back to standin' I took a look at da skooter, den back at da hairy man.*

"I'll tries ta 'member dat."

*I took a big o' kick at da cycle, landin' right on its side.*

"OOOOUCH!!!"

*I said as I grabs my foot. I'll 'member not ta do dat neither.*

[Wei Wu Wei]

Wei smiled. "Poor preacher."

Wei saw Inu. "Still trying to kill that monk? You'll never do it if he keeps hanging around the Bar and Grill, I am afraid."

Wei righted the speeder and laughed. The Preacha was a fun person to watch.

[Diego Van Derveld]

Wei's comment elicited a thin smile from Diego.

"Anybody can be killed. Anywhere. And especially when its impossible. I've seen enough in my life to know that we're all going to die."

[Inu]

Inu-Aku squinted through one eye at Diego as he shook off the sharp pain in his back.

"At least YOU have a brain in your head."

[The Preacha]

*I stared at funny man who wuz astill recoverin' from da fall he had atop dat der dumpster.*

"Are you su.....sug...sugges.....are yuse tryin' ta say I'm CRAZY!!!"

*I whipped my head about alookin' round da whole place. My wild eyes was a flyin' from one end ta da next.*

"That does it! Somebody fetch me my PREACHIN' STICK!! I thinks this har demon needs a lesson."

[Inu]

The Jackel laughed, painful due to his fall.

"You can teach me a lesson no more than I could defeat the high and mighty Jedi standing there."

[The Preacha]

"Why I outta come over der an' brain ya!!!"

*I rolled up my sleeves and astarted walkin' taward da funny man.*

[Marcus Telcontar]

Marcus stepped in front of the Preacher

"Hey mate, this is not the place for a fight. I dont mind you shouting and stuff.... but if you fight or damage property around here, it becomes my problem. Understand? "

OOC : This here preacher reminds me so much of the one in Judge Dredd. Is it based on that?

[Inu]

The Jackel laughed again and stood, grinning wildly, eyes flashing with anger.

"You want a fight, monk? Surely you jest!"

[The Preacha]

*I looked at da fellar what told me not ta fight. He looked like a good guy sose I guessed I wouldn't upset him.*

"A'ight, no fightin' har."

*Den I looked at da funny man.*

"But if'n I catch yuse off dis har property, I'll whomp ya good!"


OOC: Well, I've never seen Judge Dredd, but The Preacha is based on the stereotypical sidewalk "preacher" that is really nothing more than some poor soul who's a bit off his rocker. Throw in a little.....okay a lot of Southern slang, some ghetto speech, and the never ending desire to cast out DEMONS and there you have it.

Just for the record, I mean no offense to any of the Christian faith. I myself am a dedicated Christian. The Preacha is simply a humorous lunatic. (If ya can't poke a little fun at yourself, who can ya do it too?:D :lol )

[Inu]

Inu-Aku growled low.

"Very well, monk. We have a deal."

He turned and walked away, fists clenched, fighting the burning desire to turn and kill the man where he stood.

[Wei Wu Wei]

WEi leaned on the wall to watch. "So, Mr. Preacha, I havce a question. What sorts of duties do you perform as a Preacher? Besides evangelizing, and casting out demons, and such as that."

[The Preacha]

*I thought about da man's questarisin'.*

"Well.......ya sees that is my dooty. Oder 'an dat, I just tries ta get donashuns sose I kin continyu da work o' (hand over heart) da BRONZE TUNA! A man's gotta eat ya know."

[Wei Wu Wei]

Wei nodded. "And sir, I would like to know what sorts of demons are in the Bar and Grill. Everyone that visits Yog's are usually very well-behaved. No one does any thing wrong or evil."

Wei didn;t really know what was wrong with the bar. He knew that soem people abused alcohol, but he had never seen it done in the Jedi establishment.

[The Preacha]

"YA SEES..."

*I spoke a bit loudly. I hunched over in my sermonizin' pozition. My preachin' grin wuz aspreadin' all over my face like jelly on toast. Strange how most folks thought it wuz just crazy lookin'*

"...that's just it. Deem evils and demons is so evil and....de....demoni.....evil like, they disguise derselves sose ya don't know 'at they're there."