Not your usual meditation. (open)

[Pierce Tondry]

The Jedi complex had some truly spectacular open air gardens. They were several acres long, filled with plants of all kinds, and just the sort of place to get lost in if you didn't want to be found.

Pierce Tondry stood in a small clearing among trees, hidden from the general public. It was just the right place to be if you wanted to meditate, and that was exactly what Pierce was doing, away from his ysalamiri, trying to hone his contact with the Force.

Just not in the usual way.

From the 'ready' stance he'd been in, Pierce shifted, setting his body into the starting stance of a martial arts form. Slowly and deliberately, he moved to the next step, reminding himself of the movements as he ran through them.

Martial arts were either used, or they were lost, and Pierce was not about to lose any useful combat skill.

When he'd finished the slow run, Pierce began another, faster run, much more like how he would perform in an actual fight. Twice he performed the fast run, losing himself in the swift and sure movements. By the end of the second run a slight sheen of sweat covered his bare chest.

Somewhere inside himself, he'd almost felt the flicker of something deeper, something he thought was the Force. But truthfully, he wasn't certain- of the three main Jedi attributes, Pierce seemed to not have any facility with Sense or Alter, Sense being the most important. His Jedi Master, Morgan Evanar, had suggested several things he might try: wear a ysalamiri to try and make the difference between Force and Force-less more distinguishable, observe other students who had no trouble with Sensing things to try and pick the ability up, meditate to see if there was some way to develop sensory abilities naturally.

Pierce went to where he'd set his water bottle, shirt, and towel and sat on the grass. Maybe there wasn't a solution; maybe Pierce was doomed to stay half a Jedi no matter what without any control over the flashes of ability he exhibited.

It would be nice, he decided, to have someone else to talk to about this.

[Helenias Evenstar]

It wasn't my habit to walk the gardens that surrounded the Jedi's living quarters, but today I did, for I sought solitude. I had much to think about and much to consider. I stepped sliently and barely there was any telltail trace of where I walked, so light were my footsteps. It was an ability of my race to move silently and not be seen if we wished.

As I walked, I did hear some sound. It was more than likely a student or antoher Jedi walking throught the natural beauty as I was. it was not normally like me to be curious whom it could be, but this time I moved closer to see whom it was.

First thought that crossed my mind was that the man running through a martial arts kata was rather handsome and was quite... buff for want of another word. I might be a Jedi Knight, but I was also a woman and females do notice those types of things, no matter what they might say otherwise.

The second was that it was someone I had seen before - at a distance and not here. The name took me a moment to recall, but when I did, it bought a half-smile to my face. When Pierce sat down, I moved from where I had been standimg and walked silently to where he was.

"Good day to you... Pierce Tondry I believe? I am Jedi Knight Helenias Evenstar"

[Pierce Tondry]

Pierce's head shot up- he'd been so focussed on this problem of his that he hadn't paid attention to the noises which, in retrospect, were telltale of another being's approach.

It was a woman- an attractive one, with the kind of skin tone that conceals an inner muscular strength. She had the kind of eyes that measure you gently, like a person who smiles even as she states with certainty that she can kill you but won't if you leave off. Her hands, her manner, all suggested an upper-level awareness and confidence.

For the most part, Pierce would have expected her to be a Jedi because of this unique combination of traits, but there was something else there, too. Something which he knew, but couldn't place.

It made him uneasy, and the fact that she'd caught him unawares increased that unease.

But there wasn't any apparent danger yet. "You believe right," he told her. He took another drink of water and began to wipe himself off with the towel, continuing once he'd finished. "And I gotta hand it to you for marking it. Most people don't know or care about that name anymore. Kind takes the family name down a notch, but that's life."

Pierce stood again. "Hope you don't mind me continuing, but I need the practice. Use 'em or lose 'em."

Pierce assumed the ready stance once more, then began moving through the attacks and blocks of a second form. "I understand you took care of my son for a bit," he said as he moved. "I want to thank you for that. He means a lot to me."

[Helenias Evenstar]

"No, I o not mind if you continue.... and I must say it was quite an experience looking after Jax. A feisty child he is. It's amusing - of all the things that I believed I would do as a Jedi, running a quasi child care service was not on my list of expectations. To be frank" I added quietly, "Being a Jedi is not what I expected at all"

I watched quietly as Tondry started the second kata - I observed his technique and balance without comment, but in my mind I was impressed. I waited until he finished, before seaking again.

"Where, might I ask, did you learn your technique? It is rare for a student of the Jedi to be as well versed as you obviously are in combat."

[Pierce Tondry]

Pierce swung his left leg up, over, and around into a hook kick, then spun into a pair of sidekicks using the same momentum. His kicking foot came down into a firm plant and he crossed his hands in a low axe block to finish the form.

"This?" he asked. "This is just something I've been developing in my spare time. It's sort of a combination of three styles: Chandrilan kickboxing, Imperial grapple technique, and Noghri close combat. These early forms tend to favor the kickboxing technique. Later ones pick up on the other styles, but they're all mixtures in some form or fashion. Sort of the best of the Empire's memory."

Empire. He glanced over at his shoulder, eyes narrowing. "You're Lord Fire Blade, aren't you?"

[Helenias Evenstar]

I nodded in acknowledgement. I had made no secret of my previous Imperial connections or even of the name I had used. I held no shame of it.

"Indeed, I am - Lord Fire Blade II, to be accurate. The man I call Grandfather was the first to have that name and the armour. He served The Emperor and it was a strange twist of fate that he was not on the Death Star when the rebellion destroyed it. He was the one that introduced myself to The Royal Guard, he trained and coached me, it was he that drov me to excell beyond anything other Guards could do. It's also a strange twist of fate I now find myself one of the Jedi I hated so much when I did wear the red of the Guard. How about you, Director? I would never have expected you to learn to be a Jedi as well. How did this come about?"

Director How easy it was to slip into an attitude of differal to the Deputy Director of Imperial Intelligence. I wondered if he had ever worked out that Lord Fire Blade was a woman, when we were both Imperial.

Another strange twist of fate, this was. Two Imperials, myself now a Jedi Knight and from what I had heard, Tondry learnig to be one.

[Pierce Tondry]

Pierce chuckled quietly to himself. "I knew it," he said. "I told them the balance wasn't off because of the armor. Women walk different, I said, and I was right. Guess that means I win the pool."

"To answer your question," he said, more loudly and directed at Helenais. "It was a choice forced on me. I'm- or I was- second in command of an Intelligence division. Your top priority in that instance is to keep all your men alive so that the information flow doesn't stop. Well, the Empire pulled a fast one by dissolving on me, and without support it was either work for the Remnants or find a new source of support."

Pierce stopped in the act of bringing himself to another ready stance. Fate had sort of thrown him a monkeywrench about that point, hadn't it? He'd found his grandfather and come into possession of a whole new source of information. "Except that when you're in a leadership position, you've got to consider more than just the safety of your men. You've got to consider what exactly you're doing with your time, and what I realized I was doing was just carrying out spiteful information raids directed by Ysanne Isard. She would point and we would destroy and steal but in the end you kinda wonder if you actually need to go destroying and stealing in order to get what you want. She and I had some pretty violent disagreements on that score. Then people lined up behind us."

Pierce's eyes sought the sky through the canopy of leaves above him. "I ended up betraying her half of Intel to the New Republic on guarantees of safety and clemency for those who willingly followed me. Suddenly, I was a Lieutenant in the NRI and things were all clear again. I had an enemy- Isard. I knew how to find her and take her down, and what information was needed to get the job done. And when I found out what rat warren she'd been hiding in, I confronted her and shot her dead."

Pierce's lip twitched. "But then Jax was born, and that's when it all fell apart for me."

Helenais had been quiet so far, so Pierce decided he might as well finish the story. "When you have a child, everything changes. Suddenly the universe is one big threatening place that you want to make safe and I had to face facts that nowhere that flew an Imperial banner would be safe for him. Everything the Empire used to stand for was gone- either betrayed by people like Isard who couldn't manage what was left, or betrayed by people like me who couldn't stand them. I used to have an office on Coruscant in a penthouse, a rifle that I took care of, and troops that looked up to me. Now, I share a tiny office on Arcan IV, the rifle's gone, and no one cares who Pierce Tondry is except for a grandfather, wife, and son I don't get to visit."

Pierce quietly drew himself into the ready stance he'd been about to go into before his monologue and began to go through the third kata.

[Helenias Evenstar]

I had to smile, even slightly. I had heard the whispers, the speculation. Even as I was tall for a female, I was not tall for the Guard. I was also faster and less strong. It was mearly the fact that I could defeat any on the practice floor, where questions ended. Questions as to whom I was and why I did not physically fit the Guard. One fist or a fell kick would answer that question. If they had seen I was a woman, there would have been no way I could have risen to where I had gotten to. As Tondry told his story, I felt that I could empathise with him.

"I can well understand Pierce. I was a devoted servant to The Empire for tens of years - dont look surprised, I'm not human. I've probably been alive longer that you have by a few years. Unless you have passed your 80th year? - be that as it may, I served with honour until I was sent to kill a Dark Jedi thatwas building a fierce reputation. He was called Venom then."

Shaking my head, I recalled that time, years ago.

"It didn't end like I had planned. I found out he was not all he seemed to be and I fell in love. We married even - I put aside everything for him. Yet, when he was seemingly killed, I went back to The Red - but empty it was. Empty of meaning. What is The Empire, but an empty shell? In losing him, I found myself doubting all, even when battling the Jedi. Even when I served with even more honour. Empty, a shell. For years. Not long ago, to my shock I found he lived. Right here as a Jedi of all things. my world had meaning and I was coming for him when he was killed, this time seemingly again for real, in the snows of Whitetown. It made me realsie what I was truly yearning for and what I wanted. This... fighting and serving of a mere shell, what is that? As you said, the Empire died a long time ago. It took the second death to realise that for mysef. So.... here I am. "

"But, what I thought lost, I gained and more besides. I gained hope and I gained a vision. I gained friends and truth. I gained a daughter 5 years older than your Jax, who showed me what you know - this Galaxy is not safe for the innocent. That is what I want, I want my daughter to grow up as a Jedi and not face the fear and the Darkness that we do. I dont want her to know war, as I have done. I dont want her to look at her hands and see the harndness through constant weapons use. More than anything else, I desire a place where Marcus and I can escape to and not worry - where we can love and grow old."

I sighed, looking away. "I wish that time was now, I truly do. It's now what I continue on for now, it's my dream. It's what drives me to achieve all I can. It is funny..." I ended, switching topics for a moment "... I have a magnificent rifle. It is a work of art and I keep it in top working order. Whomever had it before me lavished much care on it, like I do now. I was in luck, I found it on the streets of Arcan, the night tha it was.... what? Have I said something amiss?"

No mistake, that caught Tondry's attention. Why?

[Pierce Tondry]

Pierce had screwed up the left side of his face very intently. "I lost a rifle- my personal rifle- that same night. I'd started out with it, but dropped it during the fight where Marcus beat the hell out of me. I didn't think to go looking for it at the time, and when I went back for it later, it was gone. I always figured he'd taken it, but I never did think to ask him about it. Been too busy I guess."

"Been my experience that things like this usually turn out to be pretty surprising coincidences," Pierce went on. "You don't happen to have that rifle somewhere around, do you?"

[Helenias Evenstar]

Marcus beat the hell out of him? Tondry had come across Marcus ina fight and had been left alive to tell about it? That was interesting in itself.

Wonder if it had anything to do with the Imperial coming here? But that was a question for later. For now, Tondry had asked one for myself.

"Well, yes, I do have it nearby. That's not a weapon to leave in general stores or unguared for long - I have it in my personal weapons locker. Would you like to finish first or come along now to see if it is yours?"

[Pierce Tondry]

Pierce laughed. "I've always been a patient breed of man," he replied. "And I'm told that patience is a large part of being a Jedi. It's probably just a funky coincidence anyway, but I can wait. I want to get this practice finished, anyway."

Pierce set himself and began moving again. "You know, it's funny, but when we get done with everything here, I'm probably going to go back to my personal file stores and start backchecking your life history," he said, addressing her during the kata. "Not that I don't trust you, understand. I just have this funny need to see how things fit into place."

Pierce whipped through a final series of kicks that blurred his legs with the speed of his motion. Helenais hadn't responded to his earlier statement; she was probably being polite and waiting for him to finish. Which was okay, because his earlier dilemma was now returning to mind and he had another question he wanted to ask. "I guess in eighty years you get a pretty good understanding of this Force thing, huh? How to sense it and all?"

[Helenias Evenstar]

Now that Tondry had finished (I knew how much I hated being interrupted while practicing - so I extended the same courtsey) and in the end of his kata, he had presented a whole series of questions to answer. Or statements to comment on.

"Oh I would imagine there would be interesting things to see on my file - on the three names you might have. Lord Fire Blade, Eileen Cross, Helenias Evenstar. 'm afraid that there would be a lack of information on my real name - as you might understand, my real past has been kept silent and secret. I've probably told more of what I really am since I came to this place than I ever have"

An odd question he asked about the Force -I pondered for a moment before answering.

"Sensing and understanding how to use The Force is a matter of time, study and self belief. As your experience grows, so The Force is more pliable to your commands, the easier it is to hear it's will..... oh dear, what a typical Jedi answer. That's not really what you wanted to hear, was it? Mouthing off standard cold and emotionless Jedi responses? Well, I wont lie to you - being a Jedi is moe than waving your hand and screwing with minds or lifting rocks. It's in your heart. It's your attitude. It's how you respond to life. I could show you how to spit fireballs from your backside, but what does that mean without resposibility and compassion? What is learning without a true willingness to learn? Yes, the Force comes easier with time, but understand there is so much more with it's learning. With that in mind, in 80 years time, even old and bent, you would be a truly formidible Jedi"

Much like Marcus is now I thought silently... except he was so long lived, even at 110 years old as he was now, it was only a quarter of his lifespan. Who knew what he could do?

[Pierce Tondry]

There was something in her words that struck Pierce, something she was saying about spirituality and empathy, that somehow seemed to tie in to some of the things Morgan had been teaching him.

Maybe there was just something in Morgan's words that he'd missed. He'd certainly been trying to adjust his way of thinking, moderate some of his tendencies that brought out the "avatar of justice" in him, but maybe there was something more to that. I mean, it made sense that just being able to sense things had no point in and of itself. You only needed to be able to sense things if they were relevant to you.

Whatever it was, Pierce would need to find it, and soon. Not being able to sense so much as a fly when he'd seen kids juggling rocks without hands was starting to get old.

Pierce was silent as he went through another kata- this one very different from any of his previous ones. It included many more twists, turns, stylized slaps, and pressure point strikes than did his previous kickboxing techniques. It reminded him of where he'd learned the Noghri combat style, and what had happened then.

"I don't really need to spit fireballs from my backside," he responded thoughtfully after finishing. "But, maybe- ah, I don't know. Maybe I'll figure it out."

A thought struck him and he turned to look at Helenias. "So how do you respond to life? What's in your heart?"

[Helenias Evenstar]

Now there was two highly pointed questions. It felt liek to me almost a test, so aI paused, thinking and considering., before speaking.

"I've learned that life throws all sorts of challenges at you - you never give up and you never stop learning. You never know what the future may bring. Even if I can see the future better than other Jedi, even I can not see all paths. And I'm not sure I want to. How boring would our ecistance be if we knew all? But in the end, I could say all I want, but it is in what I do that shows how I respond. It also shows what is n my heart.

I may have a reputation for violence, but that is a shallow view. I came here because I believed that what I wanted, peace and freedom, is not something that can be won by talk and sitting back doing nothing. I am a woman of action and act I will. But not without thought however beforehand... blind reaction is wrong. I never expected or even wanted to be a Jedi in earlier years, but now I see it is the way I can be of greatest service to others, to defeat evil. And in the end to achieve what I want most in my heart - a galaxy where my children need not fight, but live in peace and safety. I want a place where corruption and deciect can not exist...."

I shook my head.

"Listen to me, I sound like some sort of freshmen idealist, not someone whom has seen what the Galaxy really is and how futile those wishes can be. Well, maybe. I do know that while there are some willing to fight on, the dream of peace can continue on. What I do understand now after coming here is that fighting is not necessarily by guns and sabres. Compassion, forgiveness, healing, putting others first, turnign the other cheek..... Other weapons that peace has... weapons the Dark Side just can not understand nor deal with. Kill someone and another might take their place to fight you. Feed that person and he tells others of the compassion and not only that, you have a ally for life. Something evil just does nto understand how it can happen"


(TTT!)

[Pierce Tondry]

Pierce laughed. "Sounds like you want a lot," he murmured. "But I'm pretty much guilty of the same thing. I just want to give my boy everything I can, and somehow that means 'make the universe perfect.' I dunno- maybe I'm being too self-centered. Maybe I'm just seeing what I want for my son, and not what other people need. Maybe not even what he needs."

Pierce suddenly leapt into yet another kata, swinging, sliding, stepping, ducking, and slapping. His eyes were hard and seeing targets Helenias could not see- his own perceived faults and failures. "Maybe I'm just an idiot," he ground out between breaths. "Maybe I shouldn't even be trying to raise a son."

[Helenias Evenstar]

Maybe I shouldn't even be trying to raise a son

"A thought I had often had with Jina. What was I doing thinking I could possibly look after her? But I will tell you something.... if you don't, who will? A Jedi Pierce, may be many things, but there is responsibility. When Jax was given to me to look after, I did so, not because I wanted - to but because it was my responsibility to do so. He is your son. It may not bring you any comfort, but he is not the son of anyone else - he is yours. Even if you did not want to try in the first place"

"But I sense you do want to try and you want the best for him. Then do so. And more than that, do not pretend to be something you are not. Children have ways of spotting falsehoods adults cant guess at. And... "

I leaned against a tree, sighing.

"I had a dream of Jax once. He was a young man, coming into the time of his life where he becoming a Jedi Knight. But even if he was near brilliant himself and earning a name for himself, by himself, always he compared to others in hi life.... his mother, Jina, his Auntie Helenias... " I smiled softly at that one "but most of all, he tried to compare himself to two Jedi - one might be obvious. The other, above all was his father. And always he felt lacking to the greatness of his Father. Could that come true? I dont know. Always is in motion the future and I know that better than other Jedi, for I can see into the mists of time to be better than others know"

Again I sighed, looking away into the distance.

"I have seen so many things, Pierce. My gift only really came alive when I came here, but already I have seen a time when Jedi will die, Marcus might fall and times of darkness and trial. I think however, in the midst of this chaos, you'll be doing the right thing with Jax. It's in your nature, whether you realise it or not, I sense it. What I have heard of you just tells me how right that feeling is."

[Pierce Tondry]

To listen to Helenias speak was, on the one hand, a complete and utter waste of time to the Intelligence agent in him. Things happened, or they didn't- you didn't second guess the future, you acted on the present, put in the effort, and if things didn't turn out how you wanted, then you got right back in the saddle and tried again. Listening to spectacular tales of the future and of placement of responsibilty wasn't worth the effort the ear expended.

But another part of him was a father, and Helenias words struck home. Jax was his child- no one else's. It remained for Pierce and Pierce alone to make certain Jax grew up into a healthy, happy boy. No one was going to do it for him. No one would care like he would.

Pierce opened his mouth to speak, but stopped. What could he say in response to that? It had to be something eloquent, something truthful. Something real.

"Yeah," he said eventually. "You're right."

Pierce bit his lip and thought for a second, then took a stance entirely different from anything he'd done previously. He began to move sharply through a series of manuevers- kicks, punches, slaps and slides that were also somehow holds, blocks, and tackles. Always, the fight seemed to be turned around into something that neutralized his opponent's strength and attacked. This was shown ever more clearly in the kata's last step- a forward, palm open push was followed by a simple, graceful step that bled it into the ultimate fight-determining move: a snap of the neck.

Pierce called it the Death Kata, because it was designed, without mercy, to reduce an opponent's options until they had no choice but to fall. The progression was sharp, yet fluid, like swells on a beach that inevitably led to the ninth wave, the wave that went farthest up the sands.

Pierce then dropped to a cross-legged sitting position on the ground, drinking more water and mopping his face and chest with the towel again. "It's too bad the future is so uncertain," he said thoughtfully. "If it wasn't, people would want a lot more of it."

[Helenias Evenstar]

"It's too bad the future is so uncertain," he said thoughtfully. "If it wasn't, people would want a lot more of it."

"Then step into my boots for a while" I replied, my voice quiet and serious. "Let me tell you about seeing the future. Really seeing the future. Not the nonsense of fake mediums or star gazers, but of a Jedi. I might say uncertain is the future, but what I see I know will come to pass - what it means and how to work out what it means, that is the real question. There are visions I have that I know will come to pass. What they mean however, I do not know. And do you want to know the true sign of a seer? They are unafraid to give bad news. They are also unfraid for people to try to prove the wrong.

"Pierce, I have faced off Jedi Masters, I have faced of enemies terrible in scope but the single thing that frightens me is what the future holds. I know too much. Would you think people would want to know when they die? When disaster strikes? When events come thy can do nothing about other than despair? What if I was to tell yu Jax was to die of an incurable cancer that would wreck errible damage on him and cause him to die in pain? You want the future? I will tell a future and see if you think that knowing the future would be such a wonderful thing!"

I took a breath, composing my thoughts, closing my eyes to bring back to memory what I had seen.

"I have a Jedi Knight here, Xazor Dawnstrider, whom wanted to have me as a mother, a guiding hand if you will. I agreed. She is pregnant with her first child. When the time comes for that child to be born, she will be caught by an agent of evil. While she can't escape, the father of the child, Dasquain Belgaric will face a choice - the wrong chioce taken, he dies. My husband, Marcus.... he will face an enemy so great that he could have to sacrifice himself so others may live. Other Jedi will die at this time too. I feel I have not seen all either and as the time comes, more shall be revealed"

"No Pierce" I continued "You do not want to know the future with certainty. You would have no hope. No reason to continue. The future needs to be uncertain for a reason, else how would we find the energy to go on? But I will tell you, in this I see you involved too. How, I dont know, not yet. I knew I had to be here today and now I know why. To meet you. So - let me tell you of a future. Not yours. Lilaena De'ville. What if I were to tell you I have seen Marcus, sabre in hand, in a cave standing over De'ville? That is a certainty to come to pass. But what does it mean? Does it mean he is protecting her.... or does it mean he has just killed her?"

I looked directly at the face of the former Imperial, trying to read what was going on in that mind of his. What did he think of what was just said?

"It happens just before Xazor gives birth"

[Pierce Tondry]

For something said in humor, Helenias had certainly taken the wrong meaning.

Intentionally, though.

He coughed, then coughed again. "I guess," he said, then stopped. What could a person actually rebut a vision of the future with? What was there to say?

His eyes wandered around. Memories of his previous fight with Marcus leapt into his mind. Marcus was a formidable opponent. Would he be forced to fight the Jedi Master again?

Because Pierce knew that even if he found distaste in some of the things he'd learned Lilaena was up to, she was the mother of his child. That wasn't a bond easily severed.

Was it him? Was he, Pierce Tondry, the evil that Marcus would have to be sacrificed to, over a woman with a core of good seeped in evil? Was Lilaena the evil? Was it someone else entirely? Was there some way he could navigate the winding roads of this possibility stream and come out with himself and those he cared about safe?

What choices would bring about that? Which ones would prevent it? Pierce opened and closed his hands, feeling immensely powerless.

"I guess," he continued. "That I'd better get this Jedi thing figured out fast. I don't seem to have a lot of time, not if I'm gonna get sucked up in this too."

[Helenias Evenstar]

"Well, I wish you good fortune with it then. Your strength will help others, for many Jedi are sucked into this... whatever it is. Why it centers around a child's birth I am yet to figure out"

I shrugged, before turning for the Jedi buildings.

"I have to go now, but it has been a pleasure to meet you Pierce. Tell you what, why not come past the firing range say in two days time, I'll bring the rifle with me and you may see if it is yours"

Something else came to my mind.....

"And if your availible, I might have something that would interest someone like you, if your interested in a change in job and person you report to"