Sevaan Evine
Sep 8th, 2002, 05:20:03 PM
"What are you doing here?"
"I live here."
"Not lately."
"Kas...Please, don't go into it now."
"The woman shook her head, angrily, back turned to her sobering husband. The dishwater sloshed onto the countertops as she hurled the china plates into the sink.
"Of course not Sev. We don't ever "go into it" do we? We never talk about it. Because hey, if we don't, then it never happened right?"
Sevaan raised a weary hand.
"Kas..."
"Well it did! It did happen! And I'm not going to forget about it!"
Her eyes were teary, but she refused to let the salty drops fall.
"I won't take down his pictures. I'm not going to keep his room locked up. You're not the only one who lost a child Sev! My baby was killed too! My baby was killed too!"
Sev stared at the floor. His voice was hushed.
"Not now..."
Kas turned around angrily, her red hair reflecting her anger.
"Yes, now, Sev! Now! I'm tired of this. It's been a year... you can't keep doing this! I can't take this anymore! It's like you're gone too... even when you're here."
The man kept his gaze down. There was no fight in him anymore.
"What do you want me to do?"
"I want..."
She gripped the dish towel in her hands, knuckles gone white. It was then that he noticed her wedding band was gone.
"I want you to make a choice. Either come home at night... come home or leave. But I can't live like this anymore."
He nodded.
And left.
**************
It was late. Early, rather. The cup of coffee on the table had long since grown cold. He hadn't moved for hours. Just ran his finger along the rim of his mug. Round and round. But tonight... this morning, his eyes weren't empty. They weren'y distant. They were very much alive.
He had called her.
He had called home and talked to her. She was married again. Married with a child, a little girl. How was it that Kas had moved on? How could she live with it? She said she was happy... but how could she be happy after what had happened?
It was a puzzle that Sevaan couldn't figure out. It baffled him. There was no such thing as happiness anymore. There were only actions. Perhaps... he had thought that perhaps if he could help others keep what he lost... that maybe then he could be forgiven. Forgiven for what he had done. But Kas... she was far past that point, at least it seemed that way to him.
Moving for the first time that night, Sev brought the cold java to his mouth, not even noticing the temperature.
"Was I forgiven?"
The question hung on the air, taunting him with the answer that was invisible to his eyes-- the eyes of a father that had failed his child.
"I live here."
"Not lately."
"Kas...Please, don't go into it now."
"The woman shook her head, angrily, back turned to her sobering husband. The dishwater sloshed onto the countertops as she hurled the china plates into the sink.
"Of course not Sev. We don't ever "go into it" do we? We never talk about it. Because hey, if we don't, then it never happened right?"
Sevaan raised a weary hand.
"Kas..."
"Well it did! It did happen! And I'm not going to forget about it!"
Her eyes were teary, but she refused to let the salty drops fall.
"I won't take down his pictures. I'm not going to keep his room locked up. You're not the only one who lost a child Sev! My baby was killed too! My baby was killed too!"
Sev stared at the floor. His voice was hushed.
"Not now..."
Kas turned around angrily, her red hair reflecting her anger.
"Yes, now, Sev! Now! I'm tired of this. It's been a year... you can't keep doing this! I can't take this anymore! It's like you're gone too... even when you're here."
The man kept his gaze down. There was no fight in him anymore.
"What do you want me to do?"
"I want..."
She gripped the dish towel in her hands, knuckles gone white. It was then that he noticed her wedding band was gone.
"I want you to make a choice. Either come home at night... come home or leave. But I can't live like this anymore."
He nodded.
And left.
**************
It was late. Early, rather. The cup of coffee on the table had long since grown cold. He hadn't moved for hours. Just ran his finger along the rim of his mug. Round and round. But tonight... this morning, his eyes weren't empty. They weren'y distant. They were very much alive.
He had called her.
He had called home and talked to her. She was married again. Married with a child, a little girl. How was it that Kas had moved on? How could she live with it? She said she was happy... but how could she be happy after what had happened?
It was a puzzle that Sevaan couldn't figure out. It baffled him. There was no such thing as happiness anymore. There were only actions. Perhaps... he had thought that perhaps if he could help others keep what he lost... that maybe then he could be forgiven. Forgiven for what he had done. But Kas... she was far past that point, at least it seemed that way to him.
Moving for the first time that night, Sev brought the cold java to his mouth, not even noticing the temperature.
"Was I forgiven?"
The question hung on the air, taunting him with the answer that was invisible to his eyes-- the eyes of a father that had failed his child.