Okay, for the LOTR haters.....

[Marcus Telcontar]

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/50reasons.html

50 reasons why LOTR sucks

[Zatania Duvall]

LOL That was a hoot. *isn't an LOTR fan*

[Diego Van Derveld]

I am...but barely. The Tolkien-rabies have not helped me enjoy it.

[Severen Morkonis]

I think the guy that wrote that needs to watch the movie again....some of it is correct but that other half aint..for intence.



Return of the Living Dead.

If you watch closely during the Inn scene, Frodo and his crew are shown getting stabbed by the Ring Wraiths. Then, five seconds later, they are fine again. Note to the director: try proofreading your movie before you release it to the public.

You see the 9 black riders ride into town right?..the guy you see next cowering under the table as the 9 go by with there sword IS the barman!...(watch the guy that said he aint seen Gandalf in six months)...so that indercates to me there in that Inn...then there start there stabbing of stuff then there raise the bed sheets and feathers fly everywere...IE thats not them!....then you see aragorn looking at them across the street...


26. Homage or theft II?

The wise old wizard character was stolen from Harry Potter.

UMM...LOTR was wrote before Harry Potter right?

Like i said..that guys gotta watch the movie again...

[Darth Viscera]

"The Hobbit" was written in 1936. "Willow" was made in 1988 (or 89?). Warcraft was made circa 1994. The following sums up the idiocy of that guy:


What's that smell?

As bad as the Lucasfilm leaks were last year, the filmmakers of The Two Towers already have the novelization out in paperback. I've seen it at Barnes & Noble already. As if we needed any less of a reason to go see it.

Uh duh. Circa 1956. Seriously, why is it so hard for this guy to understand that the movie is made from a decades-ago-published series of novels? The third credits screen in the movie is "Based on the book by J.R.R. Tolkien". Honestly, to have taken the time to write 50 farcical reasons why LOTR shows flagrant sucktitude just because you misconstrued the movie...jeez, lamer.

That guy needs to be smacked as a dumbass for asking every one of those 50 questions. 1 smack per question.

[Marcus Telcontar]

It's a joke I believe - a classic troll. Laugh at it :)

[Bette Davis]

Gold: The Stretchy Element.

The ring, which is seen to be at least two inches in diameter at the beginning to fit the polish sausage-sized finger of Sauron, suddenly fits Frodo's child-sized finger later. I guess this movie takes place in a world where rings magically change sizes on their own.

BUT IT WAS a ring that magically changed sizes!!

:lol Its funny. :) Yes its a joke, has to be. :) Unless he really IS dumb, but I think he's just being silly. :)

[Bette Davis]

48. Casting, IV.

Why couldn't the Ranger have been played by a monkey?


^:lol:lol

[Vega Van-Derveld]

Legolas shoots arrow after arrow at his enemies, and yet the number of arrows in his quiver never decreases. I guess elves have glands on their back that secrete arrows.


:lol!!

[Dark Lord Dyzm]

Of course it is a joke, no one is THAT Stupid... except mabye some of my former classmates at my High School



The mutated muscular soldiers of Mordor turned out to be hilariously ineffective soldiers, a dozen of them held off by a single dying human. Apparently they made the beasts by crossing Orcs, Goblins and the French.


It is funny becuse it is SO True!

(Please Note, I am 75% German, 5% French, 5% Irish, 5% Polish, and 5% what ever, but they tell me its English. This is rough estimate, but going by this, I have a claim to make fun off all the following races of people with out sounding like a bigot. Its all in good fun. )
>D

[Morgan Evanar]

Millions of copies of the LOTR DVD have thick black bars at the bottom and top of the screen throughout the film. Didn't anyone catch this? You know what happens at the end, in the extreme foreground and extreme upper sky? Neither do I. Bush league, guys.

I dunno. It might help if you found someone smart enough to know what "widescreen" meant.

[Vega Van-Derveld]

The character of Elrond was based on Agent Smith from The Matrix.

:D


Liv Tyler's immortal elf volunteers to give up her eternal life for a single romance with a human man. Could any man really be that well endowed? I find it unlikely.

:lol

[ReaperFett]

SW was a novel first too you know :)


And it was obvioyusly as joke. Made funnier by some not noticing this :)



Why couldn't Gandalf have been played by Bruce Campbell?
YEAH! :)



I dont hate LOTR, I just find it woefully overrated

[Sorus]

The concept of the violent dwarf was based on Al Pacino. :lol

[Diego Van Derveld]

Did someone say plot hole?

Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman.

:lol BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

[ReaperFett]

lol :)

[ReaperFett]

Percentage of protagonists in Fellowship who are white: 100. Meanwhile the black antagonists and their black crow spies and their black glass seeing ball inhabit their black towers and perform black magic. Gosh, I wonder if there's some symbolism there?
Thats how some SW critics think :)


Give me one reason that story couldn't have been told without all the fighting.
lol :)


The ring, which is seen to be at least two inches in diameter at the beginning to fit the polish sausage-sized finger of Sauron, suddenly fits Frodo's child-sized finger later. I guess this movie takes place in a world where rings magically change sizes on their own.
I love how he enboldened the joke :)


Why didn't they take horses on their quest? Or even better, why didn't Gandalf's giant flying bird friend haul them into Mordor? Watch out, Frodo! All of your methods of transportation have been swallowed by the Dark Lord of the Plot Hole!
LOL! :)


We all saw Gandalf fall into the molten core of Middle Earth after his battle with the firebeast thing. Well, I guess the Gandalf action figure must have sold well, because in the slap-together sequel coming up this year Gandalf is back. I wonder if they'll even bother to explain it. Maybe he'll be resurrected via voodoo, a la the corpse in Weekend at Bernie's II (look closely and you'll notice LOTR steals several elements from the WAB films).
Bonus marks for mentioning the TRUE classic, WAB!


Legolas shoots arrow after arrow at his enemies, and yet the number of arrows in his quiver never decreases. I guess elves have glands on their back that secrete arrows.
DASQ! I want answers! :)


We all saw Gandalf fall into the molten core of Middle Earth after his battle with the firebeast thing. Well, I guess the Gandalf action figure must have sold well, because in the slap-together sequel coming up this year Gandalf is back. I wonder if they'll even bother to explain it. Maybe he'll be resurrected via voodoo, a la the corpse in Weekend at Bernie's II (look closely and you'll notice LOTR steals several elements from the WAB films).
Bonus marks for mentioning the TRUE classic, WAB!

[imported_Lance Stormrider]

<_<....Erm

[Admiral Lebron]

I'm a Tolkien fan and found it hilarious.

[Diego Van Derveld]

My only wish is that they eventually make Discworld movies, since they're doing all this. Then, I would have a reason to be excited.

[The Ripper]

Ditto on that :)

[Diego Van Derveld]

With Bruce Willis playing Captain Vimes, as it should be!

[Vega Van-Derveld]

:D Annnnnd.. Dolph as Wolfgang!

And ??? as Angua :x

[Diego Van Derveld]

I still think the Mr Stamper guy would be a better Wolfgang :) But Dolph is a sure-fire candidate.

Angua...I'd have to say Milla Jovovich :D

What about Captain Carrot? I think Brendan Frasier, or the guy who played Perdy, The Tick, etc?

[Vega Van-Derveld]

Frasier would work for Carrot. And Milla for Angua? :o I think Hudson Leick! :D

[Diego Van Derveld]

Who's that?

[Diego Van Derveld]

(Is now informed)

...well....I think either would do nicely :D

[Vega Van-Derveld]

Milla is too thin and weak looking :mneh

[Diego Van Derveld]

Thin yes.

Weak no.

She seems to put on a little weight since the 5th Element, and looks awesome in Resident Evil. Plus, she's got that slightly feral look about her :)

[Vega Van-Derveld]

Pshh.. Leick all the way for me :p

[Diego Van Derveld]

And what of the others?

I see Sgt Colon as Drew Carrey, but can't really imagine any of the others in my head.

[Vega Van-Derveld]

The Patrician has to be Jeremy Irons.

Death, gotta voice him with Christopher Lee.

Nobby... Tony Robinson :D

[Diego Van Derveld]

I have no idea what Nobby looks like. The descriptions seem rather vague :)

As for the Patrician, good choice :)

Death needs to have a more...noticable voice. After all, he speaks in all caps :)

[Vega Van-Derveld]

http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/4108/sketches/nobby1.jpg

:p

James Earl Jones for Death's voice maybe..

[Diego Van Derveld]

maybe, if you could add some reverb and other cool effects, a la the wizard of oz.

[Vega Van-Derveld]

Bob Hoskins for Colon maybe :lol

[Diego Van Derveld]

No idea who he is :)

Colon reminds me of the dad from the Family Guy cartoon.

[Vega Van-Derveld]

:lol Yeeeah..

Hm. What about a voice for Detritus? :x

[Diego Van Derveld]

Whoever did all the orc's voice-ins for warcraft :)

[Nathanial K'cansce]

This thread makes me want to watch LOTR again.

[Vega Van-Derveld]

Hey! No going back on topic, I was enjoying the hijack :mneh :)

[Nathanial K'cansce]

...Technically, I'm not on the current topic. I hijacked the hijacked, which took over the first topic to make the second new one...

:crack

[Vega Van-Derveld]

Confuzlin :x

[Diego Van Derveld]

I think Rowan Atkinson would be perfect for Nobby :)

[Vega Van-Derveld]

:D Yeah, he would make a good Nobbs

I would say Eric Idle for Rincewind, but ya haven't read any Rincewind stuff yet >_<

[Diego Van Derveld]

:( so tragic.

Though I did buy Eric :)

[Vega Van-Derveld]

:D YAY. I haven't read that one, you need to tell me what it's like when you're done :)

[Diego Van Derveld]

On the top of every page, it has "FAUST" written, like its supposed to be the title of the book. But instead, its crossed out, and in very scraggly handwriting, "ERIC" is written in.

Interesting :)

[Vega Van-Derveld]

Hmm... Weird o_O

[imported_Lance Stormrider]

:(.........How come everyone is hijacking and not me....:(..................................;______; .........Me feel like a loser....

[Seerrasseei Tsseerra]

the sad thing about this guy acting like such an idiot is that he probably isn't kidding....over my wandering for various animes, I found hundreds of idiots like them especially with the DBZ people, emailed lots of them about mistakes and idiotic things said......it's sad that ppl this stupid walk among us....

[ReaperFett]

Seer, it is obvious he is joking. He enboldened the part about the ring being magical and shrinking :)

[Seerrasseei Tsseerra]

never know, fett, I ran into ppl I thought were joking several times on various sites but honestly they weren't.....

[imported_Lance Stormrider]

Daddy's right :mad

[Seerrasseei Tsseerra]

oh shush you...*bops Lance with FWI*

[imported_Lance Stormrider]

FWI?

[Aki Raa]

FWI- Force Waffle iron.

*goes back to reading*

[Seerrasseei Tsseerra]

yep...*bops Lance again* >D

[Wei Wu Wei]

lol....Someone needs to shoot that guy. I don;t think he realized that there was ever books before movies were even invented.

[imported_Lance Stormrider]

o_o..*runs?*

[Sanis Prent]

^_^;

I found Eric Idle's Death Song :D :crack

[Dasquian Belargic]

:crack YAY

[Sean Piett]

Eric Idle! Death Song?

*Gets on Kazaa*

[Laine Eldarado]

Did someone say plot hole?
Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman.


:verymad

[Diego Van Derveld]

Oh hush your hormones :lol ;)

[Laine Eldarado]

Typical male response:rolleyes

:)

[Dasquian Belargic]

:mneh Diego

[Diego Van Derveld]

>_< Not in public, at least! :mischief

[Seerrasseei Tsseerra]

* :headbash es Diego* oh shush you.....