Solitaire Unraveling [Xazor]

[Salemn Lysce]

Salemn leaned against the corridor's walls, looking up at the hall's lights. They were placed within the ceiling, oval-like in shape, and glared brightly in her eyes.

Sighing, the Jedi Knight clenched her hand into a fist and slammed it against the wall. Why, why can't I remember my past ?! Her brown eyes suddenly narrowed as a foreign emotion began to enter her body .. Anger. What .. What is this ... Her thoughts became to become distorted as she looked back up into the lights. The newly-formed tears in her eyes made her vision blurry, causing the lights to spread throughout the whole room.

It's all so beautiful .. What am I doing in a Heaven like this ? Why am I tainting a place so pure ? Her 'anger' became to form into depression - the tears streaming down her face.

Letting out a mental anguished scream, she slumped down to the ground and kneeled, placing her forehead on the floor. Closing her eyes, Salemn took in a deep breath and sent out a mental message to someone she knew could help - Xazor.

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight Xazor walked down the halls of the Living Quarter. It was a beautiful evening out.....a full moon rested softly over the large complex that the Jedi lived in day in and day out. As she looked for possible disturbances with her eyes, she kept herself completely open to the Force for guidance to those that may have trouble sleeping or were not asleep at all. For some reason.....her heart went out to those tourchered in the Night.

As the Garou searched, her attention was drawn to a faint crying sound. Her ultra-sensitive ears picked it up and she listened....it was a girl.....someone she knew. Closing her eyes she stopped and then heard a mental call from......Salemn. Opening her eyes, Xazor began walking a bit faster down the hall until she turned a corner at a large man-made fountain of two angels. Water sprung from their hands which outstretched toward the Heavens. Smiling softly, her gaze came to rest upon the smaller figure of Salemn.....who was slumped over, crying....in the hall.

Walking over to her slowly, the Knight tilted her head to the side as she eyed the girl that sat against the wall. A sort of anger and deep sadness radiated from her spirit...and it hurt Xazor to see such suffering. She stepped forward a few paces and then slowly knelt to her knees.....placing a hand upon Salemn's shoulder, and with her free hand, she lifted her chin up so that she could see into her eyes.

"What is wrong, young one? Your spirit is in distress.....is there anything I can do?"

She spoke softly, hoping that her calm words would sooth the girl's mind and heart. The Knight drew upon the Force and sent it down her arm, into her hand...and then into Salemn, offering her a comforting wave of the Force to surround her and calm her down as she waited for any sign that the girl could use her help....at least someone to talk to.......

[Salemn Lysce]

< Xazor .. Is that really you ? >

The Jedi Knight's face was blurry, but seemed so radiant in the light. It was almost like peering into the face of an angel.

< My spirit .. I wish I had one, but somehow, that is not why I distress myself tonight ... >

Taking in a deep breath, she reached up with a pale hand and touched Xazor's face, trailing her fingers over the cheekbone.

< You're so beautiful. >

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor nodded at Salemn's question and moved a bit closer to her...waiting to hear what she had to say.

"Tell me of this....something lies to the root of your distress and perhaps you are ignoring that? Only when you find what it is, will you be able to help yourself..."

She said softly, and as she spoke, the girl took her hand up to Xazor's face and spoke of her beauty. The Knight blushed slightly and tilted her head to the side to eye Salemn curiously.

"And you are beautiful as well....such a lovely creation of the Force..."

The Garou said softly, reaching her hand up to rest upon the girl's. She squeezed it lightly, letting her see a reassurance in her eyes in hopes that she could help this Knight with her troubles....

[Salemn Lysce]

Salemn's hand dropped to her side as she looked back down, not wanting Xazor to see her face anymore. She felt horrible, like something black and twisted grew inside of her.

< .. Nash left me. >

She began to draw an invisible pattern on the white floor while continuing to explain.

< Most of the time I was here I had to train by myself .. Ever since his mysterious disappearance. He just came by to see how things were going earlier, and I found out about his presence and asked him to see me in Yog's. I really thought that he was going to stay .. I really thought .. >

She couldn't go on any further and struggled to stifle her gasp of mental pain. Things had to be so easy for Xazor now, with the whole GJO in the palm of her hand and a lover - not to mention that a child was coming on its way !

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor tilted her head to the side, a look of sadness in her eyes for Salemn. How she had grown in her time here at the Jedi Order. Once a very shy young girl.....she had come out of her shell to be an outgoing and skilled Jedi Knight.....a young woman.

"Salemn.....all things happen for a reason. I know this is a difficult time for you.....I have face too many to remember myself. Tell me about this. It is good to speak of your feelings.....keeping them bottled up inside will only hurt you more...."

Xazor paused and eyed the Knight curiously, recalling the fight that she and Nash had shared not too long before this time. He lashed out and attacked Xazor with vengence and violence. It was a side of him she had never seen nor had hoped to. It was such a startling realization.....but at that moment, she knew he was close to the Darkness.

"And perhaps we should go somewhere besides the hallway......"

She wished to make Salemn comfortable at the moment.....and sharing feelings and such out in the open was not always something one wished to do......

[Salemn Lysce]

< The hallway ? .. Oh, yes ... >

She had forgotten they were in a hallway and brought a wry smile to her face. Standing up, Salemn sighed and reached up to push a loose strand of hair away from her brown eyes. Xazor was always so kind to her.

< My room is just down a little ways ... >

She took a step forward before pausing and looking back at Xazor, uncertain.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently and walked with the young Knight a bit of ways down the hall. Once they reached Salemn's room, the Garou opened the door and moved to the side for her friend to enter first.

"This is really nice....."

She commented softly as they entered together. Once inside of Salemn's quarters, Xazor looked about for a seat.....not wishing to make herself comfortable before her fellow Knight did.....and then they would talk.....

[Salemn Lysce]

< Is it really ? >

Xazor had seated herself on one of the chairs that sat propped up in the corner. Nothing had really changed since last time she had come in to help Salemn with her "issues". The window's curtains were pulled aside to let in some light, while a dresser stood next to the 'Xazor's chair'. On top of it was a white vase with an orchard hanging in it.

The only thing that changed were the shelves hammered onto one of the walls. Herbs in glass containers were everywhere, claiming the space as their own. For the past year, she had been fascinated with plant growth and had taken a special interest in herbs.

There was also another change - where there was an added room for her bed and a bathroom.

Taking a seat at one of the other chairs across from Xazor, Salemn leaned back and sighed, reaching up to massage her temples.

< Unlike so many other Jedi, I personally have nothing against the Sith or Dark Jedi. It is when someone close leaves for that path ... Surely you must know what I speak of. >

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor nodded gently and smiled. The last time she had been in Salemn's room, it was very dark and she could only see with her Night Vision....not necessarily there for sightseeing besides. Salemn's words hit home and she nodded solemnly.

"I feel the same. I have had several Sith friends....but the Darkness always destroys them. I currently have a Dark Jedi friend.....Vega Van Derveld....and he has even trained me in my own Garou ways....and has helped me understand my culture. Yes, I understand what you speak of....for I live by the same principle....."

She said softly, a wisdom through experience shining through her gentle eyes. It was a sad thing when someone left for the path of Darkness.....for a cloud would always hang over their head as along that path they tread. The Knight lowered her head and the names of the Fallen entered her mind.....

[Salemn Lysce]

< It's harder when it's your own Teacher. After they teach you that the Path of the Light is the only way to true inner peace and then leave - it makes you wonder ... >

Her hands dropped down to her side as she crossed her ankles, looking down in her lap.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor leaned forward and placed her hand under Salemn's chin, lifting her eyes to meet Xazor's once again.

"All things happen by will of the Force. We have not got all the answers, nor should you expect that of him. I know what you're going through......I have felt it as well."

She said softly, her hand going back to rest upon her own lap as she eyed Salemn for a moment.

"I too have been a hypocrite in my life.......I have seen others do the very same thing and come back from it. Sia Lan Darkheart.....she was a Knight and fell several months ago....but she has returned to the Order. Maybe it takes time for some to see the Light. My own Daughter has fallen.....but I know that the Light is still within her......"

[Salemn Lysce]

< Natia has told me of her decision .. But ... It makes me wonder. Are we all pawns being played by the Force ? >

Her brow furrowed slightly as she frowned at this thought. Xazor didn't have all the answers, but surely she knew most ... right ? A part of her knew that it was expecting too much from one person, but after all Xazor had accomplished, well, it was hard not to.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor shook her head and sighed, a smile crossing over her lips gently.

"No, we are not pawns of the Force. The Force flows through all things....remember that? We weild the Force for the cause of the Light. It does not weild us, though. We make descions every minute of every day...and the Force has no bearing upon those choices. I could have decided to stay a Sith all of my life and I would have never come here...but there was a desire in my heart to do so...and it was my choice. We'll never know what makes people choose the paths of Light and Dark...Fate does play with our futures to a point...but above all, we are the ones who choose to do what we will."

She said softly, speaking from her deep experiences. Hopefully this would make sense to the young Knight...for she knew no other way of explaining it....