Broken Hearts.....

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight Xazor, stood in the middle of a large room in the Temple. Her white robes flowed around her and the sleeves fell past her hands in graceful cuts. The silver in her deep blue eyes glinted in the light that they caught.....offering a hint of tears on the approach. Slowly she turned and looked out the window.....refusing first to see the one who was about to walk through the door. Pushing the long Garou Warrior Braids from her face, she let them fall behind her....the golden coins clanging together softly. Her heart skipped a beat but it was nothing in comparison to the ache she felt in her soul. Slowly she covered her wedding ring with her right hand.....touching it gently with her forefinger and thumb before letting her hands drop to the back of a chair as she stood in waiting.....in the sad silence.....

[Shade Magus]

A man walked into the room and stood in the middle. His hands were clasped behind his back and his legs slightly apart. Anyone who knew this man before could tell that a change had come over him. He was now more humble, more plain, and somewhat confused on what to say.

"Um.......Miss...no...I mean......Xazor...how are you?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Suddenly she was aware of his presence.....Shade. Her heart lept out of her throat and she turned around to take him in fully. He had changed.....more so for the better.....better than she had in their private lives anyway. Sighing, she walked over to him and knelt to the floor, lowering her head in a respectful manner.

"I fare well...I mean......I am okay....I guess. How are you?"

She questioned softly, rising up to her full height to look him in the eyes. It pained her heart so to be there at that moment to do what they must. Speak of these things and resolve everything....pick up the broken pieces and move on......

[Shade Magus]

"I am well. I have done ok for the time I was gone."

Shade turned his head and looked out the window for a moment and then turned back.

"You are still easy for me to read Xazor, and believe me, neither of us has done better than the other."

Shade smiled a little.

"If anything I am the one in worse condition...."

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight looked up at him with a curious expression.

"I know.....and you are so because of the pain I have caused you. I'm so sorry Shade.....I never meant for things to go wrong...."

Tears fell from her eyes and she looked down at the floor, her heart was pounding in her chest......wishing that he would say something or anything just to break the terrible silence.....

[Shade Magus]

Shade walked over to her and lifted her face to look her in the eyes.

"You have no reason to be sorry. I have learned a lot on my.......journey......."

Shade was silent for a moment.

"...it is the Force that leads us. If this is what was to happen then it was the will of the Force. There is nothing we can do about it except live. We made a promise to each other to ensure the other was happy and I will keep my promise. Even if it means no being with you, then atleast we can still have a freindship......that is if you still want one.."

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight looked up into his eyes as he held her chin up. His words made her tears fall even more so than before.

"Yes, yes of course I wish to hold a friendship with you......Shade, I love you and that will never change......even if we cannot be together. I want you to be happy above all else.....especially after what I have done to you....."

With that, she wrapped her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. How weak she thought she appeared but that was the last thing on her mind now. Her heart was broken for breaking his heart.....she had brought pain on both of them but mostly herself.....

"I'm so sorry......"

[Shade Magus]

Shade held her for a moment, unsure of what to do. He then began to rock back and forth.

"Shhh......everything will be ok....I promise....."

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight took comfort in his words.....hoping that their friendship would not be one of pain.....everytime she would look at him she would think of what she had done.

"You must......hate me......you must think I'm a terrible person. I am....I broke our bond and the future and....and your heart...."

More tears poured out now.....this was so hard for her now....but it was a time to grow. Her heart continued to ache and it would for some time....but eventually they would see this in a different light....and maybe in the future they would be great friends.....

[Shade Magus]

Shade sighed and released their hold. He then turned aaround and hung his head low as he began to speak.

"I cannot pass judgement on you Xazor......if it had not been for my leaving then this could have very well been avoided. If anyone is to blame then it is I."

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight shook her head and lowered her eyes to the ground.

"But you did nothing wrong.......it was me.......I could have stopped myself...and I did several times when you first left but....the temptation was so great......"

She paused, seeing the hurt in his eyes as he looked away from her. What had she done? Now it was too late.....

"I can't make excuses for myself......I have nothing to say except I'm sorry and I know that it won't help........"

[Shade Magus]

"Xazor you do not understand. I am happy for you. You have found someone that will be responsible, someone that loves you and that you will love."

Shade turned around. Making his choice on something he had thought about long and hard.

"And besides.....I am sure you would rather have a Jedi to protect you than a common man."

Shade stood there and let the room and even himself absorb what he had just done.

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight furrowed her brows and thought about what he had said.

"Com.......c......common man?! What are you talking about? You're a Knight! Did you bump your head or something Shade?!"

She questioned in disbelief. Had he just given up being a Jedi? This made no sense to her.....

[Shade Magus]

Before he even spoke the answer was known. His connection to the Force was disconnected.

"No.....I am not a Knight. A Knight would not have acted as I have. I misused the Force and my powers as a Jedi, the only thing to do now is to do the right thing. If I remain a Jedi then I will most certainly turn to the darkside....."

Shade gave a deep sigh.

"You youself saw me in my fight against my brother. You saw what happened to me. I can not risk that again, and after being gone so long.....going through what I have been through and seeing what I have seen......I can no longer be a Jedi......it just would not be right."



OOC:If you have read any of the New Jedi Order books then I am kinda going to play this off like Jacen did.

[Xazor Elessar]

ooc: Haven't read 'em...... :(

ic:

The Knight looked down to the side at the floor. She could not believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

"But people change! Look at me.....I was Sith and then I became a Jedi! I didn't even go Dark Jedi between times!"

She could tell though that he was serious....and there was nothing that she could do to persuade him otherwise.

"Where are you going to go, though? I mean....if this is because of me.....I should be the one leaving....."

[Shade Magus]

ooc: well in them Jacen decides to stop using the Force for awhile to figure out who he is and what to do to help others and that is kinda what I am doing.

IC:
"Xazor...this choice is mine and mine alone. As to where I am staying, I have talked with others and it was agreed that I could keep my old quaters and help around with fixing ships and maintaining everything."

[Xazor Elessar]

ooc: Okay, I see! :D BTW, there is a thread with Das and I in the LQ where I am moving out....so you don't have to worry about it. :)

ic:

The Knight looked at him curiously and sighed.

"I will move my things out today then.....I'm sorry so many things have gone wrong, Shade.....it was never my intention...."

She said softly, sadness still painged at her heart and held onto her voice as she stood watching him......

[Shade Magus]

Shade smiled, hoping it would bring her some comfort.

"Don't worry, take you time. As far as I know I am still able to use the training grounds for hand to hand combat so I was thinking of taking advantage since it has been awhile since I practiced. After that I was thinking of going to the B&G for awhile to meet old and new freinds, besides....I heard there was a new saiya-jin around. It would be nice to meet them. I haven't seen one of my kind since I faught my brother."

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight smiled to herself and nodded.......something in her heart told her that all would be well and work out.

"That sounds like a good plan. Yes, there are a few Saiya-Jins around.....I don't remember who exactly....but I am sure that I greeted them in the Academy at one point or another...."

She paused and sighed to herself.....still not believing that this had gone so....well. Wiping a few stray tears away she smiled and looked up at him.

"I want to see you happy again.....your smile is faded and your eyes are not like they used to be. On my old planet....if I had done this there, you could have killed me and I would have had to go along with it. Why do you even spare me now with your words? You really have nothing more to say on this?"

She questioned softly, not wishing to drag it out still....but she just had to know that one last thing before they could move on and talk like friends....

[Shade Magus]

Shade's eyes darkened for a moment as his memories turned towards the time he was absent.

"While I was gone I witnessed many, many terrible things. Some of these things I helped cause just by being there. I swore to myself that I would have revenge for the things done, but now I see that revenge is pointless. All it does is call for more."

Shade then shook his head and smiled.

"Besides, you are a freind still and I would never hurt a freind."

Shade peered closer before speaking more.

"Another question?"

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight noted the darkness in his eyes....but took some comfort in his words. Shaking her head she sighed to herself and looked down at the floor.

"Yes, one more question.......you will not hurt Dasquian......will you? If so, then as I said before....take me out know so that I will end the suffering of all I have affected......"

She said softly, sadness woven into her voice. Her eyes were moist from past tears and ones that wished to escape yet.....

[Shade Magus]

"As I have said I am not seeking any type of revenge."

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight nodded gently and looked up him, still concerned for his feelings.

"Then I am finished speaking. I wish not to upset you any further than I have."

With that, Xazor reached down to her finger and took the wedding ring off, the removed a silver chain from her neck and placed the ring upon it. Clasping it back behind her neck, she looked up at him for a moment.

"Symbol to all that you're still my friend.....and I will keep you in my heart forever....."

She said softly, looking down at the floor. A bit of tension was still in the air and she wondered why he was so.....different.

[Shade Magus]

"....and you mine Xazor....."

Shade turned and faced her.

"If there isn't anything else then, I will be leaving..."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor sighed to herself and looked up at him, a tear escaping her eye.

"I bid you leave then.....may the Force protect you in the dark places you may travel.....I just hope we'll see eachother again...."

She said softly......an unremovable sadness painging her heart.....

[Shade Magus]

"Good-bye then my lady..."

Shade turned and walked out the door and that was it. Nothing else. What had been done was over and now it was just time to deal with it.