Tears And Beers......

[Xazor Elessar]

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy
Wherever you go Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

___________________


The Knight moped into the bar, too many things rested upon her mind and slowly they were driving her mad. A song played over and over again in her ears and she couldn't take it any longer. Slowly she made her way to the back corner of the Bar and Grill, and sat within the comforts of the shadows, save for a little candle that burned softly in the center of the table. A service droid came over and took her order of three beers and a flask of Corellian Whiskey. Sighing, Xazor placed her chin in her hands, resting her elbows on the table.....and let the tears flow freely down her cheeks for the first time in a long time.....

[Marcus Telcontar]

"I'd ask what's wrong, but I could have a bit of an idea"

The shadow of Marcus crossed her table, stopping.

"Mind if I take a seat?"

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight looked up and saw Marcus.....her heart skipped a few beats and she nodded, not stopping the tears that continued falling from her eyes.

"Go ahead......"

She said softly, but the words were broken from the dryness of her throat. Sighing, she looked down at the table in utter shame. He knew everything.....and now she would have to tell him everything anyway. But a part of her hoped that the Jedi Master would be able to help.....

[Marcus Telcontar]

"You know" he started as he was sitting down "You really have made some mistakes with your private life that your going to have to deal with now. But then again, when I was your age, it was nothing compared to what I was up to, so whom am I to be judgemental? That is something I will not do."

He leaned back, causually, taking out his pipe.

"Need an ear so you can spill out your heart, or you prefer not to? "

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight nearly choked on her tears as she sat there....and then her four drinks were brought back. Sighing, she took to the Whiskey first.....and drank it hard until half the bottle was gone, leaving the Knight choking again.

"I know.......and I'm so sorry....."

She cried out, shaking her head in disbelief. Her heart ached so badly but she had brought it on herself. Sighing, she wiped a few tears away and nodded once again.

"If you're willing to listen to my terrible stories. I don't......I don't know where to begin even......"

[Marcus Telcontar]

"The one thing you should not do is drink when you are sad. It only amplifies the emotion, it does not take it away - and of course I will listen. If I was not willing, would I be here?"

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight sighed and set down the Whiskey, fixing her eyes upon the wise Jedi Master.

"Okay....well.....I love Shade.....at least I thought I did. We were so happy together....then he left.....temptation seemed to wave it's hand in front of me even while I was sleeping. Well.....I couldn't stand his absence.....I was so selfish. I always have had feelings for another though....."

She became silent, taking in the reality of everything that she had just said. Marcus knew everything.....but she was repeating it for both of them now......she paused just before a major break in her story......

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Aye.... I know. I have had chance to speak to Dasquain. And I know what you speak of as well and understand. Would you prefer we go for a walk outside? A bar is not a good place to unload a troubled heart"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor sighed to herself at the mention of Dasquian. He knew.....how could she have guessed? Nodding to his question, she moved out of the booth and stood shakily on her feet, nearly falling over from fatigue. She would leave her drinks there for someone who "needed" them.

"Please...let us go......"

The Knight said softly, waiting for Marcus to lead the way outside.....

[Marcus Telcontar]

it was raining, a light misty drop as they exited the Bar and Grill. He looked up, remembering all the times such rain would happen on Dagobah. He put his hood up, to protect his head.

"One day I am sure we should take the Bar and Grill back to Dagobah. That planet had a certain charm about it when it rained - here it's just plain misreble. There is no beauty or true connection to The Force on Arcan IV, only dirt and misery, despite our attempts to make things better. The Jedi were virtual outtcasts when they came here, now.... their light grows once again and Arcan is a poor place for that light to be mounted. We should consider moving"

His feet splashed in a puddle as they walked down the lightly foot trafficed walkway, the street lights hardly penetrating through the murk.

"I also wanted to talk to you my friend. I have had a great many things on my mind lately .... I've been thinking of my home that you came with me to and how it's rain is a delight to walk in. The sun and the hills, the cliffs and valleys. I think the time is coming for me to leave anyway. I'd ask if you would care to join Helenias and myself, but you have much to do here.... but firstly before I speak more, tell me what burdens you so"

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight let the ran fall upon her face. It mixed with her tears and left the only indication of her crying: red eyes. Taking a deep breath, she listened as he spoke of Dagobah. Having never been there, she listened more intently....nearly forgetting her own problems. He then mentioned leaving....and she shook her head, wondering if he was to go for a long time.....she didn't care, she wanted to go with.

"Please.....take me too......I need to get away from everything.....I....I just need something that I can't find here......"

She said softly. Her heart knew what it was she sought.....peace that seemed to give her a taste and then disappear. It was frustrating....and she did not understand. Again, her problems came back to haunt her and she looked down at the ground as they walked.

"I'm pregnant now.....as you know. Now you must swear to me that you will not breath a word of any of this. But......the baby is to be a girl.....and she is.......she is not Shade's......"

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Doesn't really surprise me Xazor, not at all. I'm not going yet, but I am considering. I only stay because Helenias is here and she becomes more involved with the Jedi everyday. Is that a good reason I wonder?"

His footsteps continued to ring out softly in the splashes of water, his mind reaching out and calming hers by his very presence and father-like love.

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight smiled gently and nodded. Indeed....his love for Helenias was strong.....it was good to see someone doing well in life.

"It doesn't surprise you? Well......the baby is......Dasquian's......"

She said softly. His mind reached hers and calmed her through a love that only he could possess. It was strong and father-like....relaxing and calming for her spirit.

"I.....I have no where to go now.....I had to leave Shade's quarters.....and I cannot live alone......."

[Force Master Hunter]

Good old Marcus, right on time. If there was one thing he could trust, it was the Jedi Master. Not much else could be depended on, but he could be. The Bounty Hunter threw the fake death stick to the ground, it's cover no longer needed. His sunglasses glinted with water as he wrapped the trenchcoat about himself, to protect his frame from the chill and the dampness - seemingly silly when his head was uncovered. Gloved hands flexed and relaxed as he fell in to following the couple, trusting that the Master could do as he said - distract Xazor Leo Dawnstrider enough so she would not know she was being followed, for he needed to see if she was the person Marcus told him she was.

And if so, there would be a third in the conspiracy. Jedi Master, Bounty Hunter, Shape Changer.

His rail guns sat well on his hip, still not quit eused to their weight, but giving him a degree of comfort. Maybe he was ex-Jedi but the hardware gave him a true edge if it came to that. But with the fact she hadn't turned or seemingly gotten suspicious, there would be no need for the guns, not this time.

Paitence, Marcus had preached, his time was coimng and coming soon. Man, he hoped so. There was so much evil in the Galaxy, he was getting impatient to begin wiping it out.

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight sighed to herself, thinking of all of her troubles. She thought of Dasquian.....then of Shade.

"So you have spoken with Dasquian? I suppose he probably thinks badly of me in secret and I don't know it. Things seem so good at times.....but just as my sky begins to brighten, another cloud comes and covers up the sun......"

She let another tear fall from her eye as she looked down at the wet ground below their feet.

"Do you think I'm a bad person, Marcus? Do you?"

The question was honest and straight from her heart. She wanted to know and if he didn't tell her the truth, she would know from his thoughts. Her intent was not to put him on the spot....but it was important that she knew how other viewed her.....at least to her it was important.....

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Spoken to Dasquain I have. He loves you, that is for certain and is concerned for you. Your not a bad person, you are however young with much to learn and to experience in the world. It is easy for me to say what is right and wrong, for I have seen and done much - experience is one fo the greatest teachers if you are prepared to learn. You have a stout and good heart, but you must always remember, learn from your mistakes and never repeat them"

A presenence behind him immediatly put him on a quiet alert. Gregori. The Master began to without the Knight's knowing, smother any way she could feel the Bounty Hunter following them in the Force, for it was important she was not aware. Such a thing took care and strength, for he was basically creating an illusion to fool a very good illusionist herself. It took someone greatly learned to pull this one off and by the sense of the younger Jedi, he was successful - so far.

[Xazor Elessar]

The Knight listned intently to his words and smiled to herself. He was such a good person and he had a kind heart....how could she have ever doubted his thoughts about her?

"I bet you have not made mistakes as bad as I, though. And I am ready to learn now.....I should have been mindful of my feelings before. Why do all of these things happen?"

She questioned softly. Suddenly her ultra-sensitive ears perked up as she heard a twig break behind them. It was not unusual....perhaps someone else was walking on this cool eve. Suddenly then a strange wave came over her mind, giving her a feeling of a head-ache. She had only experienced such things when others tried illusions on her......a very skilled illusionist. Shaking her head, she got rid of the pain and looked over at Marucs, paying it no mind. Probably from crying too much.... She thought to herself. Sighing, she continued walking alongside the great Jedi Master...and friend......

[Marcus Telcontar]

"Who knows why bad things happen to good people? I will not question The Most High on that one. And you think you have done some mistakes?"

He did have to laugh softly at that one.

"110 years is a long time to live for most beings and it gives you a lot of chances for some terribly big mistakes. When you reach 110 years, you will know that there is youthful inexperience and true mistakes of judgement. I would say yours is no more than inexperience and you will learn"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled to herself and listened as he spoke. He was confident in her....more than she was in herself. She noted his light laughter...and took it as a sign that all was well.

"I have a five hundred year lifespan....."

She laughed slightly, thinking about why the Garou had to live so long. There were times that she wished not to be living....but after thinking about it for a while....she always decided that she would miss all to much if she was not.

"If this is only inexperience....I hate to see what my mistakes look like....."