Nightmares of a Phantom Past

[imported_Terran Starek]

Don't let your heart guide you! Only anger! Remember why you are here!

The voice called out in the night. The village was burning. Smoke clouded the eyes the victims as fire ravaged the small homes and shops. There, in the middle of the courtyard, stood a dark figure. He was tall and handsome, but his mouth was twisted. Twisted in a mocking grin at the flames. His crimson saber illuminated his face. Who was he?

No one escapes! Do you understand me? If you do not have their heads, I will have yours!

The voice screamed at the man. A voice unseen. A strong, commanding voice. Very harsh but fatherlike, he thought. The man turned swiftly kicked the door in to a small house, untouched by flame. He entered the house, scanning it for life. There was none. He began to leave--but wait. He heard something. A breath. He turned and stared into the darkness. Then it hit him. One of the desks was overturned. He struck out with the Force, throwing the desk aside, to reveal a father clutching his son in the corner of the room. They were terrified--frozen at the site of the terror that had entered their door.

He froze. His eyes met the eyes of the father. His heart ached for the man. Their eyes were locked and the father silently pleaded for his life.

Please...I...please don't do this...I'll give you...

The dark warrior turned away from the man and regained his composure. How dare that feeble man make him second guess himself. He didn't have a choice! Didn't he understand that? I HAVE NO CHOICE, his thoughts cried out. He was tired of this exchange. He struck out with the Force, throwing the boy against the wall, breaking his neck. Then he turned to the father. Lifting the man into the air, he choked the life out of him. All the while, tears streamed down his face.

He dropped the body, and fell to his knees. He didn't know how much longer he could do this. No weakness could be shown, though. His heart ached. But he'd have to get rid of his second thoughts here. His father would not tolerate this cowering in his presence.

You ok babe? a soft voice called to his as a hand touched his shoulder. He spun around quickly to greet the face of a beautiful woman. She had long braided hair and wore dark clothing--much like his own.
Yes, I'm fine. he stuttered. Would you expect anything else? Isn't this mess beautiful? he commented on the destruction and the chaos.

Gather yourselves and return to the ship!

The voice called out. The two warriors left the home together and ran towards the starship they had arrived from. The glowing light of blue and gree sabers lit the opposite side of the courtyard. The Jedi had arrived. The Sith were done here. As they got to the hatch, the man stopped and let the other enter first.

Thank you, Chase my dear. she spoke and took his hand. As they entered the ship, it took off and jolted the passengers. The man--Chase?--gazed out the window at the space port. He began to scream and plead with the flames.

STOP! STOP! STOP!!

"STOP!" Terran awoke suddenly, screaming out into the night. He nearly fell out of his bed. He was sweating profusely, the sheets and blankets soaked in the salty liquid.

"Wow, what a nightmare," he said softly. He hoped he hadn't awoken his roomate. He dressed in some robes and left the room--he couldn't sleep now. He was too worked up. Heading down to the lounge quarters, he got some water and sat on one of the couches. The dreams had been becoming much more frequent as of late. They were bad--so real. Like they were trying to tell him something. But this woman--the woman that called him Chase...she now became more familiar. That was what puzzled him. Sometimes, when the fire lit her face or when her eyes met Terrans...she strangely like Xazor.

"Wow," he thought. "I need to see someone!"

[Chase Starwalker]

ooc- im assuming you are talking about the GJO living quarters? if not, i shall delete my post..:)

Chase's eyes were heavy. This had been the third night he hadn't been able to sleep. Insomnia was not all what it was cracked up to be. Time for a drink... Chase made his way downstairs of the Living Quarters and filled up a glass of water. Turning, he was suddenly started by a man already sitting on one of the couches. What was he doing up at this hour?

"Can't sleep either huh?" Chase smirked as he took a seat on one of the opposite couches. He extened a greeting..."Chase Starwalker, nice to meet you."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor had been wandering the halls of the Living Quarters as she did every night. Her job....or so she thought, was to make sure everyone was asleep. If one could not rest, she comforted them until they could. Her heart especially went out to those victimized by dreams in the night. She then heard something....yelling, and then a door opened and someone walked out into the hall. Silently she moved with stelthy steps until she turned the corner and saw a tall, dark figure walk toward the lounge.

Questioning him in her mind, Xazor followed quietly.....her deep blue robes followed gently behind her on the ground. The long braids in her blonde hair were graced with golden coins which clanged together softly.....echoing off the walls. The light shined on his face as he entered through the door of the lounge and sat down alone. It was Terran......a man close to her age which she had greeted a few days ago. For some reason he had felt so familiar to her.....warm and comforting all in the same. She had honestly not been able to stop thinking about their meeting....and now she had the chance to talk to him again.

Smiling, the woman crept into the shadows of the room. In her hands she had held a small candle that lit her way the whole time she followed him.....walking silently through the halls. The bit of light it emmitted cast a glow upon her face, revealing the soft smile that she wore that night. The Knight moved out of the shadows and came to sit beside Terran.....a look of conern etched her features breifly as she eyed him.

"Are you alright my friend?"

Her voice was soft and soothing as she spoke. From herself she emmitted a certain peace.....an inner glow that calmed the fearful and rested the nerves of the uncertain. Hopefully she would be able to help the new Padawan with his needs......no matter what he faced, she had vowed to be there for those that needed her, himself included.....

[imported_Terran Starek]

Terran was greeted by peace from both Chase and Xazor. He felt calm and assured that what had troubled him in his sleep was only that--a nightmare and that he would be ok.

"Nice to meet you. I am new here at the GJO. My name is Terran. Waiting for a master. Up as well? I guess it's a new place and a strange bed I will have to get used to." Chase was tired as well, and Terran could sense that he had been having trouble with rest lately. The bags under his eyes proved this to be true. He was comfortable, sitting here on this couch, letting Chase's aura reassure him that he was safe.

He turned to see Xazor showing her presence. He wondered how long she had been there. She was truly excellent at hiding her presence when she wanted. He was taken back by her face--he had seen it since their last meeting. In his dream...no, that couldn't be. Coincidence, maybe? Maybe he was so taken back by her beauty earlier that he was already dreaming of her. A scary thought that she had affected him so much! But she was so kind and gentle...it was hard not to connect with her. Besides, they had a special bond he had felt from the begining. Something that went deeper than anything he had felt for quite awhile.

Are you alright my friend?

She spoke to him softly. He looked into her face, still a bit spooked from the dream. But he would not burden her with his hellish nightmares. He chose to stay strong, and hide his feelings. He didn't know if he could fool her, but he thought she wouldn't need the baggage he carried thrust onto her. Chase niether.

"Yeah...I'm ok. I just...well, I had a nightmare. It was rough," he managed to squeeze out. He had a feeling he wasn't fooling her. "But, I should be ok, thanks." He turned back to his water, smiled falsely, and took a long drink.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor had seen his looks at her and now he completely stared....not for too long but long enough for her to wonder what he was thinking about. She could have easily delved deeply into his thoughts and found out....but she refrained from doing so and left him to his privacy. Indeed, though.....he was not fooling her. She had seen this too many times to believe the false smile he put up to her.

"Terran, I am here to help you. Sometimes talking about these things makes one feel better. I think you would too if you let yourself trust me and Chase....."

She dropped the last name heavily as her thoughts suddenly, for no apparent reason, drifted back to......him. Her first fiance and husband to be....killed three days before their wedding. She slapped herself back into reality and studied Terran's face....still pondering how he felt so familiar to her and why they had connected instantaniously. Shrugging it off, she waited for his answer as she softly set her candle on the table beside his water...

[imported_Terran Starek]

"Thank you," he said weakly. He appreciated the concern she had for him. It warmed his heart. Chase looked at him as well, and he felt comforted by their presences. Chase...

"I have been having nightmares for quite awhile," he spoke. "They are horrible--full of killing and destruction. But the worst part is, I am the one doing the killing. I don't really understand. I believe that dreams open knowledge to us. Yet, what would the Force be trying to show me through these terrible dreams?" He pondered the thought himself. He looked up again at Xazor. His eyes caught her gaze again. Something was there again, ever elusive. He tried to figure out what it was, but he couldn't. He probed her face for an answer, but before she could answer didn't he need to ask a question? Something was on the tip of his tongue and he could not let it free.

"Maybe just nightmares, eh?" He tried to reassure himself that he was ok. He took another sip of his water.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor listened as he spoke....the description that he offered was all to much like the dreams that she used to have.....the dreams that others she knew used to have as well.

"Where are you from, Terran, hmmm? I used to have nightmares of my past.....my memory was erased except for what I was brought up to know.....the ways of the Sith. Many a things happened in my life....but when I came here, I began to have dreams of the past I never knew. That is how I came to find my Father......"

She paused thinking about this for a moment. Indeed, dreams opened up a whole different realm to oneself. The Knight smiled and shifted her weight in the chair before eyeing him. She caught his gaze.....it was the same as before......curiousity was ever present like he was searching her for something. In return, she offered the same look....wondering what it was that drew them to one another.

What are you thinking about?

She decided to ask in his mind....through Force speech, in hopes that he was able to respond. After thinking a bit more, she decided to speak again.....

"I stongly believe that dreams manifest things to us that we cannot see while we are awake. The Force is strong willed and if it has something to tell you....believe me, you'll know."

The Knight smiled gently and sat back, looking at him once again, wondering what he was to say to her words....

[imported_Terran Starek]

What are you thinking about? the voice spoke in his head softly. He felt the words and remembered the voice. From somewhere else. Xazor had never spoken to him through the Force before, but it felt like she had. He remembered how her aura felt.

I'm thinking about you and... he answered in her thoughts, but trailed off. He couldn't finish. He didn't know what to say. But he couldn't hide it from her anymore.

You...well, someone just like you, was in my dream. I can't explain it. he finished. He knew he wasn't being very clear, but he was having trouble trying to explain. It was a feeling he got.

"I agree with you, Master Xazor. I think the Force has spoken to me, and maybe I should meditate on these dreams to discover what it wishes for me to know." He paused, scanning her face. She had mentioned that she had been victim to her memory being erased. He wondered how that felt. "Can I ask you a question? What does a memory wipe feel like?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor listened intently, eyeing Terran carefully as he spoke in her mind. His words hit something inside of her.....something familiar that she had once said to the man who ended up being her Father. Smiling, she looked away....past Chase and Terran.....and then focused her attention back on her friend.

You're thinking about me because someone just like me was in your dream? Tell me......what was in your dream?

She questioned in his mind.....wishing for him to give her details. She hoped that he would not feel uncomfortable with telling her so. His question shocked her a bit and it was difficult for her to think of how it felt.

"It was like I was born.....twice......but I could not remember the first time.....I forgot everything from that time and before....but I could remember everything else. I had terrible nightmares.....which came to be what my past was. I saw people in those dreams which came to be my today....my life."

[imported_Terran Starek]

Like being born twice...how odd. Terran thought about her description of it. He thought about what she had said. It made sense, he guessed. Afterall, he had never experienced it before. How was he to know? He was thankful that she shared her experiences with him.

He could not ignore her voice in his mind. He wanted to tell her what happened...wanted her to understand.

I stood in the middle of destruction--although it wasn't really me. It was a dark shadow of me. The man looked just like I do; but he was a dark warrior--a Sith. There was killing and flames and I was part of it all. I killed people. Innocent people! I would never do that! Terran paused. He thought about how real the dream was. He wanted to cry for the people who died.

And then...and then someone joined me. It was...well, it was someone who looked just like you. Only a dark you. It was like you were a Sith too. I hope this doesn't offend you. He thought about what to say next. He wasn't sure if he should; but he couldn't hide anything from Xazor.

You called me babe. We were...well, we were together. Together we watched the flames and the lights of others go out. He let it all out. He would not hide it from her. Besides, he was sure she could figure it out anyway.

"Sounds like the memory erase could be quite a tramatic experience," he said, to make idle conversation. The whole time he was thinking about what he told her, and he looked into her face, waiting for her response.

[Xazor Elessar]

The words that flowed into her head were very unexpected. For some reason....she had seen everything that he was talking about. I called him babe..... She thought to herself and then seemed to drift off into space. Quickly she snapped back into reality.....realizing that his dreams were more meaningful than she had first suspected.

No no.....you didn't offend me....I used to be Sith, remember? I.....I burned down villages in reality......and so did.......

She paused and again seemed to drift off. Her eyes searched his face....wondering why she could not pull all of this together. The story......it was so familiar.....his face....his.....presence....

"Yes, a memory erasal is a very traumatic experience.....especially when you begin to have flashbacks and nightmeres.....the confusion of seeing someone's face and remembering them.....but not really. It is terrible...and it happened to me....."

She said softly, her eyes still searching him. All of this was so confusing and yet......it all made sense. The Knight sighed and placed her elbow on the arm rest, then rested her head in her hand as she pondered over this great....mystery

[imported_Terran Starek]

...and so did....." she had said. So did who? Someone kept coming into her mind. Someone she would not reveal. Who was this person? Terran thought maybe he reminded her of this person in some way.

Is everything ok? he reached out to her mind. What are you thinking? He saw that she was puzzled by his dream. Something in it had stirred emotion in her. She was not proud of her past--but Terran could tell she had made ammends with it. Why was this now puzzling her? He felt sad for her. Someone like he, who had just appeared here at the GJO, was staying his first night in the Living Quarters, would cause her discomfort! He felt a little ashamed.

"I'm sorry, Master Xazor. I know you wish to help; but I do not wish to burden you," he tried to comfort her that it was ok not to have an answer. She was so wise and experienced, that it seemed odd that he would comfort her. He tried nonetheless.

Still, the way she had looked at him...through him. And the name Chase. What did it mean? This puzzled him. He had to inquire.

What does Chase mean?

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently and nodded. Sitting up fully, she looked at him once again.......and then reached behind her back. The Knight pulled a long and wide, silver sword. On the blade was engraved the name, "Chase".....and on the bottom of the blade were the words he always reminded Xazor of, "Pain is weakness leaving the body." She sighed and ran her fingers over the name, and then handed the sword to Terran.

"Chase......he was my fiance. This is his sword.....it was his prized weapon. I took it after he was killed.....and I have kept it safe....and it has protected me.....just as he did when he was....."

Alive...... She finished the thought in his mind.....wondering if he would understand. Sighing, she loooked down at the pure silver blade.....looking at her reflection in it. Somehow.....when he held it in his hands.....it gave her a strange feeling.....a familiar feeling. Her eyes slowly drifted to meet his.

"And you have not burdened me.....I wish to find out what your dreams mean......"

Her words were soft but sincere. Something in her heart made her desire to find the meaning.....as if it was crucial to her own existance. Somehow.....someway......she would......

[imported_Terran Starek]

Terran examined the sword. He saw the engraved name and phrase. It was a truly beautiful weapon. It felt...perfect in his hand. The weight was distributed well and he felt very natural holding it. He felt as though he had held it before...

Arrgghhhh!! Deja vu, as far as he was concerned, was never good. He tried to clear his mind of the thoughts that seeped in. But he didn't know how to ignore them.

He looked at the blade again. Beautiful. He closed his eyes and pondered the blade. He had definitely seen it before. He tried to think when. He remembered himself as he was now--an orphan. No family, no family name. A name he took on from his research of the Jedi. A young man lost in the universe. But what before then? He didn't remember much. As a matter of fact, he didn't remember a thing. He had never really thought about it--he was too busy surviving. But now, he had time to just think about it.

This was too much for him. He was overwhelmed by the confusion in his mind. He got a bit nervous, a little scared of what he might find out.

"It's beautiful," he said. It had belonged to her once fiance, Chase. Who was Chase? And why was he in my dreams!! Terran nearly cried out in his mind.

"I'm sorry. I guess this nightmare was quite a shock. I think...maybe there are a lot of things to be shown..."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled and took the weapon in her hands. She rose to her feet and smiled, then began to do a sort of form with it. She grinned to herself as thoughts of a previous time entered her mind.

Chase: "Come on.....you know you want to try it out......"
Xazor: "Alright.....if you insist"

Xazor was holding the sword in her hands as he held another. She looked at him for but a moment before she turned around and faced the wall. Suddenly she whipped around to her right with a loud yell and he blocked the strike....but she made him retreat his blade with a quick maneuver with her wrist. He stepped back and held up a hand.....a look of shock on his face. Xazor was a bit shocked as well.

Chase: "Someone's getting better.....and it isn't me.....you've become a really tough Warrior. I'm proud of you....."
Xazor: "Keep practicing.....maybe you'll catch up someday....."

She winked and kissed him gently, then returned to him the sword. He strapped it to her back and then they walked out together. Suddenly Xazor snapped back into reality and was facing away from Terran. She spun around to her right and swung the sword hard, letting out a battle call. The blade came to rest at his neck......where it had intended on Chase so many years ago.

The Knight flushed crimson and quickly pulled the weapon away and turned around again.....extremely embarassed by what she had just done. It's beautiful..... She thought about the words in her head.....recalling how Chase had felt when he constructed it. Perhaps she missed him so because her husband was away.....but she knew that was not the real reason. He had been her true love.....and he had been killed. How she wished to return to those times and repay his killer a visit....but she was a Jedi.....and she couldn't.

"Yes indeed.....some nightmare it sounds like....the Force will reveal more.....it always does."

[imported_Terran Starek]

Terran was mezmorized by her technique. He sat, watching her graceful form shift and flex with the blade. Her mind was elsewhere--most likely on...Chase. The blade had conjured up feelings in him that he could not explain. He watched her softly swing the blade, and in that motion felt something in his spirit like none other. He had seen her before. He knew it. It wasn't a thought, a premanition, or a guess. No, he knew he had seen her before with this very same blade, her face lit by soft light. He had seen it in her hands before. When? When? He almost cried out to the Force Why are you doing this! Let me see the truth! But he regained his composure just as Xazor brought the blade swiftly to his neck. She pulled away nervously--she had been lost in a vision.

"It's ok," he spoke. He could feel that she was discovering something just as he was himself. He looked back into her face. She saw something in him. Something he couldn't exactly pinpoint. But he allowed her time to think.

"That blade..." he paused. Should he really mention it? "Strangely, it feels familiar." He looked down into his water and thought how stupid it was to say that.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor stopped at his words and shook her head. She walked over to him and knelt down on the floor before him. Her eyes searched his deeply.....desperatly seeking in the Force answers to the concerns on her mind.

"No.....don't say that....."

She whispered softly as she laid the sword at her knees. Looking up again, she brought her hand up to his face and touched his skin with hers. It then hit her.......a feeling.......a look. His look....and the feeling of his skin against hers. The woman shook her head once again and looked into his eyes.

"I.....I should go......."

She took her hand away from him and looked away.....regretting that she even wished to go. The Knight sighed and put her hands in her lap......as a tear fell down her cheek.....

[imported_Terran Starek]

Her touch...it reached into his spirit and unlocked many things. It was more than a touch, it was like she had the key to something that had been locked inside him for so long. He knew, the moment he had arrived at the recruitment office of the GJO, that he recognized her. He knew, after his nightmare, she would come to him. He felt her aura like he had never felt another's aura in his life. It was something deep inside him...was it love?

He thought about the nightmare. He thought about the destruction, the screams. He thought about the evil grin that twisted his face. Could it be true?

"I should go--"

"No," he interrupted her. "Please...stay here for a moment longer." He reached up and with his finger softly wiped her tear away. He looked into her eyes. Dropping to his knees, he kneeled right before her.

"Please," he pleaded with her. His eyes met her gaze and he grabbed her hands. "Please. I have been missing something--some part of my life. I know you can look inside my head. I know you can probe my mind." He knew he was asking a lot of her. This journey into his thoughts, into lost shadowed memories...it would be painful for her. It would weaken her body and tire her mind. But he had to know. He had to. He brought her hands to his face as he rested his head in them.

"Please...Xazor...who am I?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor shook her head, and looked into his eyes. She knew that she had to do this......she had to unlock his dreams for him.....she could do it.....and she would.

"I.....I will......"

Her hands slowly traced up his face until they were resting at his temples. Closing her eyes, she dove into his mind.....deeper and deeper until she stopped.....and began to search. Suddenly it hit her like a wave. His nightmares......images......feelings, thoughts, and emotions.....entered her mind as if they were her own.

Fire consumed everything around a young man. He fell to his knees and tears flowed from his eyes. Then a woman came through the door of the burning structure and he ceased his emotion. Without saying anything, he moved over to her. You ok babe? the question hung in the air. He nodded and took her hand......and they left. She gently squeezed his hand and turned to face him, then kissed him on the cheek before they departed on a large frieghter.

A jolt went through Xazor's body at this image....this......memory. She continued searching and suddenly came across another. A young woman sat upon a large rock.....and a young man knelt before her....on one knee. In his hand he held something....a ring. Joy spread across the woman's face at the four words that he spoke in the form of a question. She wrapped her arms around him.....and then he slipped the ring onto her finger.

Again, a jolt ran through Xazor's body. She continued on, though.....and ran into another image. A woman knelt before a new man.......a dark and powerful man. He slapped her across the face....and then smiled. She took it without reaction. Then she turned her left side to him.....and he took an encryption tool and marked her. At this image, Xazor pulled her hands away and fell to the side. She was breathing heavily and her heart beat at an abnormal pace. The Knight shook her head and did not say a word......there was nothing she could say. She was face to face with a......ghost.....

[imported_Terran Starek]

The images that Xazor released flooded through his head and were being played back to him like he was watching a holomovie. He saw her again in the village. He saw the proposal...the love. He saw the mark she was scared with...

Then she let go and fell to the ground. She was tired from the energy spent to perform such a task. More than physical weakness, she was stunned. Shocked at what she saw. Immediately after she let go, Terran too fell backwards, breaking one of the small lamp tables and the antique lamp on it. He crashed to a sitting position, eyes widened in awe. He couldn't believe it. He was...he knew who he was. He had a history! A past--something he couldn't have claimed 3 years ago alone on Yavin. Or for that matter, something he couldn't have claimed three minutes ago.

Then, like a hovertrain, it hit him--it was not a past to be proud of. He was horrible. Evil. A Sith Knight named Chase--Chase something. What was his birth name? It was still unclear. It was all reopenned to him. He remembered everything. He remembered his fights with Lord Kama about killing. He doubted the order and he doubted the path of the Dark Side. But he could not let that be known publicly. And so, he lived his spirit of good through Xazor--the beautiful woman she was. How he loved her. He saw so much good in her--she was brainwashed. He knew it. Kama had told him a long time ago. She had no idea of her real past. He had believed that by spreading the knowledge of the light and convincing her to reconsider, he could save something--someone's soul, for it was too late to save his own.

Finally, Kama caught on to his secret beliefs. He had watched Chase closely, but his secret study had always eluded the nose of the Dark Lord. Now it was too late. He had encouraged Xaz to run--but she still felt a small connection to the Order. But after a certain incident, she fled.

Just like a Sith Lord would, Kama knew her weakness. So he had the other Sith capture the Knight. They struggled with him--he was truly an excellent warrior. But after a few of them fell, Chase was weakened. He was finally captured. Kama loved this one like a son though, and he could not bring himself to strike him down. No matter what, the ties were too strong. So he did the next worst thing: banished him to survive on his own with no food or supplies. The great ship of Kama hovered above the tattered surface of Hoth, as the gangplank opened.

Face death traitor! Look your fate in the eyes and you will know you cannot overcome the dark side! Kama kicked him in the stomach. You will remember nothing, and your precious love will be hunted down and slaughtered! You will never be together again! With that, Kama wiped his memory and threw him into the icy hills of Hoth.

Amazingly enough, he survived. He found a small, deserted outpost and used it to radio for help. A space pirate, Biggs Sabot, landed and took the young man in. He remembered nothing, which Biggs thought was good. Afterall, he didn't need a passenger with baggage on his trip.

ooc: will continue, hold on

[imported_Terran Starek]

Biggs trained him in the honorable mechanics of freighters and the not so honorable mechanics of thievery. But the man would never commit wrong. He felt too good in his heart. He felt a secret connection to some kind of force around him--something he could feel and sense but not see. Biggs believed nothing of this nonsense.

"Bah!" he would grumble. "Ya ain't senseing feelin nuttin but hunger pains, if ya ask me. We haven't eaten in 'bout three days, I 'd say!"

One day, when the freighter touched down in Courscant, the man picked up some books on the ancient religion "The Force" and about the old warriors of times past, "The Jedi." He read and read and was fascinated by the texts. He realized that he was closer to these truths than Biggs would ever allow. Having no name still, after three years, he dubbed himself Terran Starek, after an ancient Jedi Knight he had read about. That was when he made one final request of Biggs.

"Biggs," he asked. "Can you get me to the Greater Jedi Order?"

Biggs let out a big sigh. "Aye lad, I can. But we may'n ever see each utter again," he stated with a look of sadness in his eyes.

"I know Biggs. But...I need to be there. It is fate." Terran pleaded.

"Ok then! Ya can't ignore the heart of'a young man, now can ye?" He laughed alloud. And that was how he eneded up here.


He looked back at Xaz...she was petrified. He could not read her thoughts, but the word ghost kept coming to his mind. He didn't know what to say to her. It had been so long. So long since he had laid eyes on her...his fiance...his love.

"I...Xazor, I can't believe it..." he stopped. A sick feeling gripped his insides. All of a sudden it hit him. The dreams, the Sith Order. What he had been...horrible! He rose and began taking steps backwards.

"I was...I was a Sith!?!? I...killed..." he got more and more sick to his stomach. He stumbled backwards into a dark corner of the room and began remembering all of the deaths he had caused. Silently and softly, he began to weep...

[Xazor Elessar]

Everything came to fast to Xazor. She had dreamed of the day when she would meet him again......Chase Konrad.....her finace....the love of her life. She imagined that she would have a thousand things to say to him.....but alas, she was speechless. Tears fell from her eyes once again and then her thoughts were disrupted by his cry. "I was...I was a Sith!?!? I...killed..." The words echoed throughout her mind.

The Knight slowly rose to her feet and fell onto the couch, then lowered herself to the ground and crawled over to the man in the corner. She looked at him, then brought a hand to his face.....slowly lifting his chin up so that their eyes met. With her hands she gently wiped away his tears.

"Ter......."

She paused, thinking about the name which he now bore. At first she did not understand.....but then it hit her. He would have had to rename himself if he could not remember who he was. The Knight looked down at the floor and then back up into his eyes.

"Chase......"

She had called him by his name.....and an eerie silence was cast upon the room. Her deep blue eyes looked over him until they came to rest on her hands which she had dropped into her lap once again.......

[imported_Terran Starek]

As she caressed the tears from his face, more of them poured down. He was weeping. So much had been revealed. It had been such a sweet and sour mix. On one hand, he was ruinted with the love of his life. On the other...he almost wished that he didn't remember his past. What a horrible one it had been.

But with Xazor in front of him, he realized how much her presence eased his pain.

Chase... she spoke his name. His real name. Chase Konrad. His birth name. He looked her in the eyes, the stinging tears clouding his vision. He could not think, he could not reason, all he could do was feel. He pulled her close to him and buried his face in her shoulder. He cried--harder and harder. So much pain...so much death...but love. Love in the midst of his life which was a nightmare. Xazor was a rose in the garden of weeds that he had lived in. A bright light guiding him in the dark tunnel that was his life. Now, she was here again. His sould cried out to her.

He raised his head from her shoulder and looked at her once again.

"Xazor...I've missed you..." He couldn't think of much to say. He didn't feel like this was a time for words anyway. And so he found himself into her arms again, softly crying.

[Chase Starwalker]

Chase sat quietly and reflected on what was being said. Unbelieveable... He didnt know what to say or think as the two embraced.

[Xazor Elessar]

Tears now flooded Xazor's eyes as she saw more from Chase's. She embraced him tightly when he brought her close and cried into her shoulder. How it had been so long since she had seen him. Every night she had dreamed about him........every night she had dreamed about this day when she would once again be in his arms.

It was sad and happy all at the same time.....it was so sweet and sour that it made her cry at the thought. She ran her fingers through his hair and cried into his shoulder as well. Pulling away, she looked deeply into his eyes and found what she had been searching for. Now she knew the truth....he had never been killed.....and both of them had fulfilled their dreams.

"Xazor...I've missed you..." his words rang clearly through her mind. It made more tears fall for she could say nothing in return. Thoughts.....feelings.....and emotions ran through her like a torrent. She had completely forgotten about the other Padawan in the room who was completely and utterly shocked at the revelation that took place before his eyes. Xazor continued to hold her past lover tightly as their tears mixed.....

"Chase......I tried to not believe it......I tried to think that.....that you were alive. I have searched for you since that day.....and now.......here we are......."

More tears poured from her eyes as she spoke the heartfelt words. How she had longed for him since she witnessed his "murder".......it had all been an illusion. Under past circumstances, she would have hunted down Kama and given him what he deserved for the torment he put her through.....but she would not.......she was a Jedi and could not. So she sat in the silence of the room. She could hear their light crying....the beating of their hearts and their breathing. The candles around the room crackled and popped occasionally....but there was nothing else to be heard.....

[Marcus Telcontar]

He flicked another page, concentrating on the words on the flimsy, for this was a real book, not a datapad. Real pages, witht he scent of printing long done, writing's sketched with an ink device, dark words flowing from the hand. Illustraions painstakingly drawn. This book was not just a work of knowledge, it was a work of art, with leather bindings and embossings. It was his Book of Arcane Knowledge, a treasure he had found years ago and had guarded, keeping secret - fo rthis had techniques and knowledge that would not be good to fall into the wrong hands.

Tonight, his readings were on weather control, not the smaller version some Jedi and Sith attempted, but influencing planetwide conditions. Written by a Jedi Master 2500 years ago, it highlighted the type of skill and power needed. The control, real control. Study was what he continued to do, even if he was supposed to know techniques and had power like no other Jedi alive. His true powers he kept quiet and it was a long time since he had been forced to call on the fullest extent.

BUt even a Jedi Master would find it hard to concentrate with the backwash of emotion coming through the Life Bond right now he shared with Xazor. Now, she was a good Jedi Knight and a good friend, via his wife Xazor was even now a daughter to him. But really, she had to learn how to control her emotions better. Thence, he closed his eyes and concentrated, bringing, the Life Bond from what he called "passive", to "Actice" - from being aware fo Xazor, to experiencin what she was experiencing, to know what she was thinking. And now he would be able to speak mind to mind to her.

Xazor..... what is going..... oh...oh. My apologies. I
l'll leave you alone

In a few seconds the whole reason was exposed to him and he felt a bit embarrassed. Okay, that would explain why he was getting the strong emotions from Xazor

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor was suddenly aware of Marcus's voice in her mind. She sighed and wiped some of her tears away as she could sense his thoughts through their Life Bond. She knew that he was concerned about her emotions....but she could not help think of the time he was reunited with Helenias...

I'm sure you know....and it's fine, really....

She spoke in his mind, keeping her gaze fixed on Chase. Her heart still ached as she looked into his eyes....realizing how much she had lost due to the unfortunate events that occured before she came to the Jedi Order....

[imported_Terran Starek]

Emotions swelled inside of the chest of the man Xazor held. Love--hate--grief--joy--all the feelings, like colors in a rainbow, were painted on his heart and bled together to mark the unrest he felt. He looked up at Xazor and looked for guidance in her eyes.

"I'm back, Xazor. I'm back! I'm real, you know that now," he caressed her cheek with his hand. "I was so wrong...so horrible. I have crimes to pay for, nightmares to clear with meditation. But I am back and you are here." He gazed at her again. She was as beautiful as when he first met her. Her eyes, her soft hair...her aura was just as intriguing and caring as it had always been. He was still in love--would always be in love with her--and in this moment, he realized that he had found the piece of his life he had been missing for so long.

"Xaz...we...you and I...we can be in love again..."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled at his words. Indeed he was back...but that posed a problem to her....I never fell out of love with him.... She thought it over and over in her mind. Shaking her head at his words, she smiled.

"I too had much to make up for...but I have...and now I am a Jedi Knight...a Council Member! I have given myself over to my Order and I have come to peace with my soul...."

She smiled thoughtfully and brushed some loose tears away from his cheeks. A few fell from her eyes, but she let them. Sighing, she continued to look into his eyes...realizing how long it had been since they last saw one another. She had been preparing for their wedding....and then her whole world was shattered into a million pieces.

"Xaz...we...you and I...we can be in love again..."

Then his words completely shocked her. She dropped her jaw and looked at him with wide eyes. Suddenly a torrent of unstoppable tears came from her eyes and she looked away...a bit of horror in her heart at the realization that she would never be able to have him again.

"I......I......"

Can't...she finished the sentance in her head, hiding it from him as she turned to look into his eyes once again. It would completely break his heart to find out that she had moved on and married....it would completely break his heart when he found out that she still loved him as deeply as before, yet could do nothing. It would completely break his heart if she even breathed one word of....Shade. How badly she wanted someone to walk in and ruin the moment...how badly she wanted to just run away and forget that he existed...but she couldn't. She loved him...and she had loved him first...before there ever was a Shade in her life. She had given her heart, mind, body and soul to this man that was in her arms...and then he "died"...and with it, he took what felt to be at least half of her.....

"I'm sorry...."

She couldn't bring herself to speak the truth, so instead, she held him closer and wept into his chest as she had done so many times before...when they were together and he was there for her...so many times before he was taken from her. Xazor knew he wouldn't understand....and his heart would break ten times over....and she couldn't do that to him...she didn't want to do that to him. In her mind she almost wished that she would have never met Shade...and now they were married...and she was secretly carrying his child.....

[imported_Terran Starek]

He felt the love pouring from the heart before him. It was wondeful--more wonderful than anything possibly imaginable. The Force...bless it! Let it live and thrive! It had brought him back to his soulmate! Back to his love! Back to heaven, where he belonged. He looked into her mind for any thoughts--there were none. He loved the ability to bond with people and speak telepathically. But more than that, he swelled in moments like these, when two souls were together--without thoughts or speech. Just connection.

He had asked the question of her to return to him. He asked he her to resume the life with him that they had shared before. Only this time, the love would be guided by the light side of the Force, in a hunt for knowledge and growth together. He knew she loved her--he knew it. It wasn't even really a question so much, he thought, as something that just traditionally needed to be said. But something else happened.

I'm sorry....

She didn't say yes, she said I'm sorry. Chase thought about this for a few seconds, turning reason and logic over in his head. He realized that she was apologizing to him. That had to be it. She was sorry for what he had gone through. She was such a caring soul--one reason of many just why he loved her. She was just apologizing that their meeting here had taken so long to take place. He understood. She couldn't be saying anything else.

"It's ok, Xazor," he reassured. "Please, forget the past! Forget what has happened! We have a new future together. A beautiful one, Force willing." He smiled at her and kissed her--softly, like times of old. "We can be together again. You an I--here! In this wonderful place full of support. I am so excited. What could stop us now?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor looked into his eyes as he spoke. He hadn't understood what she meant......and it broke her heart. Suddenly then, he kissed her......softly.....just as he used to do. She closed her eyes and did not object physically.....but in her heart she wept. Pulling away, he began to speak of their life together.....how they could be united here....now. She gently placed a finger to his lips at his ending question. It was the first finger of her left hand....and on her ring finger laid a beautiful golden ring with a large diamond in the shape of a heart. It was her wedding ring and it shown brightly in the bit of light that it caught.

She had not realized that it was this hand which she had brought so close to him. She had not realized that he would probably see it.....and question her......or storm out. Many thoughts swirled around in her mind of ways to make this work.....but she could think of none. Quickly she brought her hands down into her lap and looked deeply at him......wishing this had happened about six months ago.

"I'm........ma........making plans for us in my mind right now......"

She winced when she spoke the words. She lied.....she lied to him, she lied to herself......and he would find out. Kicking herself mentally, she turned away......a stray tear fell from her eye and caressed her cheek as it fell.....leaving her with a horrible feeling in her stomach. She had not completely lied.....they did have much catching up to do......but what she wanted to say, was not spoken at the slightest.....

[imported_Terran Starek]

She touched his lips with her hand and he stopped speaking. Her hand was soft and he wanted to take it and hold it. He looked down at it--and quickly, she returned it to her lap. Something wasn't right here. He wasn't sure what it was, but he felt something...wrong. He looked at her, waiting for her answer to his question.

"I'm........ma........making plans for us in my mind right now......"
She spoke, but it didn't sound right. There was a problem. He searched her face for the answer. She was saddened and worried about something. What? He, at this moment of discovery, was overwhelmed by joy and exstatic that they could reconvene to mend the relationship lost by lies. It was lies that had torn them apart. But only the truth would be found in the light of the GJO. he knew it for sure. Yet, she seemed to be somewhat sad.

"Xaz," he looked deep into her eyes, penetrating into her soul. "Talk to me, my dear. It's Chase. You can say anything, and I will understand. You know how I care for you. I am here for you." He touched her cheek gently, in the most reassuring way possible. "What is troubling you?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor placed her hand on Chase's as he touched her cheek. She looked deeply into his eyes and more tears fell at his words. Shaking her head slightly, she continued looking into his deep eyes......seeing past them and into his soul.

"I thought you were dead......I couldn't help it......I.....I moved on with my life like you wanted me to. I me....."

She paused, still unable to bring herself to speak the words that rested so heavily upon her heart. Before she spoke them, though, she leaned in and softly kissed him one last time....then pulled away to speak freely as he wished her to.

"'I met someone.......we ended up dating and.............then I ma.....then I married him......."

More tears poured from her eyes now and she buried her head in his shoulder, weeping fiercly from her soul. The words killed her and the very thought of Shade killed her now. She knew she still loved Chase.......but she had moved on thinking he was gone.....and she now loved Shade as well.......her heart broke over and over again at this moment until the pieces were too small to put back together again.....

[imported_Terran Starek]

She spoke impossible words. Impossible. He could not believe his ears. Trying to hear what she had said over and over, replaying it 100 times in his mind, he analyzed the phrase and rethought every syllable of each word.

I met someone...then I married him. She was joking.

I met someone...then I married him. No, it couldn't be true.

I met someone...then I married him. Stop it. Stop lying.

I met someone...then I married him. STOP IT! SHUT UP!!

The anger swelled in his soul. Anger remnant of what he was once taught in the Sith order. His eyes burned with anger, blurry with tears. He was fierce. Blood boiling, muscles on fire, he spoke to her.

"How could you..." he looked into her face with a face red with rage. "You...you forgot everything we had...and I..." He was so, so angry he couldn't think. She looked painfully sad--like she was in true dilema by loving him and being married to--someone else. So what. So what, he thought. Let her suffer. He tasted blood.

He started to stand, pulling himself away from her. She...she...she disgusted him.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor couldn't believe his reaction. His words hurt her so deeply. She had explained it to him like he wanted...and he lied. He said that he would understand...he said that he would support her...and he lied. In a torrent of tears, she pushed away from him and gathered her robes together and headed for the door of the lounge area.

"You said you loved me...and now...you lied. YOU LIED CHASE!"

With those painful words, the Knight ran out of the room in a flash of her robes fabric, and bolted down the hallway with barefeet. She continued to cry and it blinded her vision. She fell to her knees and skinned her hands on the carpeting. Crying still, she got up quickly and continued running down the hallway until she reached her room. The door was locked...she had locked herself out and the key was still in there.

She couldn't think and forgot to use the Force to unlock the door. Instead, she ran down the other hallway until she reached the doors to the outside. Pushing through them, she nearly fell down the large stairs but she caught herself and rushed out.

Oh Marcus how I need you now....

She called out to the Jedi Master through their Life Bond. Tears continued falling from her eyes as she ran out into the field out in front of the Living Quarters where she fell to her knees and looked up at the night sky. It was dotted with stars and the moon shown brightly down upon her. She shook her head and looked down at her hands...which had blood on them from the fall she took in the hallway. How she hoped that he wouldn't follow her. It didn't matter now if she ever saw him again....he hated her because she followed her dreams...

[imported_Terran Starek]

He stood in the now empty room. Chase Skywalker sat in the room, but Xazor was gone. And she was angry. Chase's own anger had finally calmed. He had settled and regained himself.

How stupid! You are so so stupid! he thought to himself. What did you do! What did you do to her.... he scolded himself. Pulling his hair down in front of his face. He had been so enraged. He had been so unforgiving. She had told him that he would understand anything. But he broke out. He became like the man he was...angry and scared. He was truly upset by his own behavior.

"You said you loved me...and now...you lied. YOU LIED CHASE!" He replayed her voice in his head. The words hurt. They hurt a lot. He didn't know how to feel.

He couldn't try to find her. He knew she was too upset with him. He was the last person she needed to see right now. But he was so, so sorry. He was working on this thing. This whole, anger thing. And it was rough when his past came into play again. He couldn't believe he had acted the way in which he did. How horrible.

He could only think of one thing to do. He reached out into the Force. Reaching deep inot the auras of those in the academy. Trying to find Xazor. He spoke softly in hopes that she would recieve him.

Xazor...please, I'm sorry. I was so wrong. I...I do love you. And...I understand what this means.

He hoped she would get his message. With that, he wiped the tears from his eyes, picked his sorry frame up, and exited the room. He sulked back to his own room and began packing his things...

[Marcus Telcontar]

Oh Marcus how I need you now....

Emotions flooded his mind - strong ones. He could feel the distress and bitterness, emotional pain. He could sense where she was, outside of the living quarters. He stopped reading, closed the book gently and placed it down on the table. Marcus knew why she called out, but in his opinion, he was the wrong person. He just didn't have a gift for empathy.

But he would go anyway, even if it really was Helenias she should be seeking.

--

Outside the night was cold. His breath fogged the air in front of him as his boots left clear footprints in the dew laden grass. Very silently and quietly, he approached Xazor, before stopping a good few meters away.

"Xazor? What's wrong?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor suddenly heard Chase's voice in her mind, but ignored what he was saying by putting up a mental block. She did not want to hear it. Now she hated him for all that he used to be and was now. Then a familiar presence approached her and spoke ever so gently. Looking up from the ground, her eyes met his briefly before she rose to her feet and ran over to him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and then the torrent of tears let loose again.

"Please keep him away from me! He...he lied to me and hurt me. I HATE him!"

The Knight couldn't say anything else as the scene unfolded in her mind over and over again. She shook her head and cried into his shoulder, wishing that she could just disappear at that very instant....

[Marcus Telcontar]

Very gently and very quietly he returned Xazor's embrace, drawing his lips close to her ear, so that he would hear his words. Very gentle and words said in a tone that showed his concern - and his love for a woman whom had by a chance occurance become a foster-charge to him, a adopted-daughter of Helenias.

"Whatever happens Xazor, hate is not of a Jedi. Do not worry, he will not approach while I am near"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor continued to cry into Marcus's shoulder, even as he spoke. But his words were calming to her soul, and she knew that he was right. She did not like how she felt right now......and hate was not of the Jedi.

"I'm sorry.....it's just so hard.......it isn't fair......."

She said through her mass of tears. It was so hard for her to deal with this now when everything was just starting to even out and she was on solid ground.....a good example......and then he had to come and upset the balance that she had achieved. The Knight let her tears fall as a means of a type of release, silently thanking Marcus for just his presence at the time. She knew that he was right......Chase would not come around while he was here, and for that, she was grateful.

How she regretted the things that she had said to Chase, but she could not hide the truth from him......she was a bad lier anyway. And now she had run away from him and took comfort from a man she loved who had become a second Father to her.....even closer sometimes than her biological Father, Verse......who had been away for some time now. So she stood there in his embrace and cried from the wounds of her heart and soul......

[imported_Terran Starek]

He kept trying to reach her in thought. But he couldn't. It was like she was blocking him or something. "Xazor would not do that," he thought. Of course she would! The words he had spoken to her. The thoughts he had when he was angry. He was horrible. Words hurt, and he knew it. He had messed everything up. It was a mistake for him to remain here. He was a fool--his foolish dreams and ambitions had taken him into places and emotions he didn't want to face. He could no longer trouble Xazor with his presence. She had a new life--someone new was blessed with her perfect love. He would miss that...but then, he guessed, dead people don't probably miss alot.

Pulling his napsack close to him, he finished a small note written on some old paper. It was for Xazor. His final goodbye to her. He finished it in tears. It was not easy to face the destiny that lay before him. He would have to be brave. Courage and strength.

Next, he hurried down his corridor, down to...Xazor's room. She might be there. She might not, he didn't really know. Hopefully not. He silently approached her door, sliding the note underneath it. The note read, in simple handwriting:

Dear Xazor,

A million apologies cannot completely erase the pain I have inflicted upon you. My conduct was wrong and my behavior immature. But please accept a million apologies. I promise I will make it up to you. I am going now. It is probably best that I leave. But I am going to finish something. I am going to destroy the past you had, so that it maynever stalk you and hurt you like it did on this night. I will take care of Kama--so that you may rest easy with the knowledge that he won't be hurting others. I will most likely die there. And with my death, your past will be just that--a history. I love you Xazor. I always have, and I always will. Please do not let a night of poorly chosen words ruin the love we had.

Chase Konrad

With the note delivere, Chase--no Terran. With his tragedy, his name would be burried too. Terran went back to his room in need of a weapon. His roomate, Dios Kane, had a plethora of weaponry. As the angel like man slept, Terran managed to take what seemed to be the least special lightsaber in the group--he didn't want to take any of Dios's best weapons.

His final stop--the space port. He ran until his legs ached to get there.

"Anything headed out soon?" He asked the traffic controller.

"Yeah, in about a half an hour we got an old freighter on his way out," the controller replied. Terran visited the pilot, and with his last credits booked passage on the flight. All he needed to do now was wait. He couldn't take his mind off of Xazor. She was so beautiful. He already missed her. She probably hates me, he thought. But her great spirit would be worth the sacrifice. He just wished he would have gotten a proper goodbye.

[Xazor Elessar]

Suddenly a wave of emotions hit Xazor like a ton of bricks. She opened her eyes and pulled away from Marcus and looked at him as if she was....listening....for something. Shaking her head, she realized the mistakes she had made.

"I'm sorry, I gotta go....I'll talk to you later and tell you what I have done...."

With that, she ran off toward.....the space port. She had heard Chase's words in her mind...she couldn't ignore it. She had made a mistake and now she knew that he was leaving. She couldn't let him do that...not now when they still had time to fix things. Once there, she questioned a traffic controller about a flight out, and he motioned to an old freighter. Sighing, she ran over to it as tears streamed down her cheeks. As she got in, the pilot wanted her money...but she had none. Waving her hand, she did a quick mind trick and made him believe that she already paid...and then she set her eyes on finding the one who still held her heart for reasons she did not know....

"Chase....."

She said softly as she suddenly stopped before the figure of the man that she had once loved...that she still loved. Tears fell from her eyes as she looked into his...and then down at the floor. Perhaps she had made a mistake by seeking him out. She knew that she looked stupid in front of Marcus for begging for his protection...and then running off. Now she stood in Chase's presence....knowing that he was trying to figure out why she was there.

"I let you go once.....I cannot allow myself to do that again...."

[imported_Terran Starek]

Something inside of him jumped when he heard her voice. It jumped with joy. He was so happy that she had come. He had to contain himself not to embrace her and tell her how he felt. But he knew it wasn't the right time for that.

"Xazor...I didn't think you wanted to see me again..." he looked into her eyes and knew that it was not so. She did want to see him--otherwise why would she have come? "I'm sorry Xaz. I didn't mean those words or those thoughts. I really didn't. They...well, this is so hard...and I am such a horrible man." He was at a loss for words. She had come back and that overjoyed him beyond belief.

"If you will say the words, Xazor, I will not leave you..." He looked deep into her eyes and awaited her response.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently and looked up at him, a sincere expression rested in her eyes.

"Please....don't leave...."

The words were spoken softly but they came from the depths of her heart. How she wanted him to stay and forget everything that had happened just a little while ago. It hurt her to see him in the state that he was....feeling that he was such a terrible person. She had nothing else to say now...she had said her piece and no matter the confusion in her heart now....she knew what she wanted....and that was to not let him go...

[imported_Terran Starek]

Then it was decided. His love--his love that he could not have--had spoken.

"I won't leave you...I know it is hard and kind of akward," he looked at her again. How hard it was not to buckle when looking into her eyes. But he wanted to stay. He loved her. He truly loved her. That would never--never--change. "But we can make this work," he finished. "I will be the understanding man you know, Xaz."

He believed in his words. They were genuine and from his heart. He would be understanding. And he would love her, in whatever way he could, without hurting her relationship wih the other man in her life.

"Come on," he said. "We better get off here before this guy takes off." He took her hand softly and led her off the ship. He wasn't sure what she was thinking, but he was happy. Not exactly what he had expected. Things could be better--he and Xaz could be together forever. But you have to make do with what the Force gives you, he thought. You can't change the hand your dealt. You can only play your cards in the best way to win. And winning, for him, was to be near his soulmate.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently at his words...glad that he would stay and glad that he would be more understanding than he had been. She allowed him to take her hand in his and lead her from the freighter that was about to take off.

"What do we do now?"

It was a strange question to ask...but since they were together...but couldn't be "together", she was wondering what his plan was. Perhaps catching up over dinner or a drink would be nice. She had so much to tell him, even if it hurt a bit...and she wanted to know all about what he had experienced in the time that they had been away from one another. Quietly, she walked with him in the direction of nowhere and everywhere....

[imported_Terran Starek]

"Well, I would think that we need to catch up. There are so many questions I have for you, so much of your life that I don't know. And maybe I could help you understand where I have been since then." He thought she probably had a lot to say. And the emotions were low now--not gone, but the state he had been in earlier was no time for two people to talk. Now he was receptive. He wanted to listen and to understand.

"I promised you that you could tell me anything. And I promise you I would understand. And...well...I broke that promise." It hurt him to say these words, but it was true. He had failed her. "But I won't let it happen again, Xaz. I won't. I will understand." He hugged her, hoping that she would hold him back.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled at his words and nodded. Yes, they did have a lot to catch up on...she had so much to tell him if only he would listen to what she had to say.

"Thank you for that promise....it means a lot to hear you say that."

She smiled and then was caught off guard by his sudden embrace. Her hands dropped to the side for but a second as she thought about this....and then she broght them up around his neck and hugged him tightly, closing her eyes and she rested her head against his. It felt so right to be in his arms again....as they once had been. And then she remembered something....something that hung around her neck beneath the necklace that her Blood Brother had given to her. It was a chain that held a single ring....her engagement ring to Chase. She had worn it on her finger until Shade proposed to her...whence she removed it and hung it on the chain around her neck...close to her heart....

[imported_Terran Starek]

As they parted embrace, he noticed that she was fingering something at her necklace. It was...it was the engagement ring he had given to her. She wore it as a necklace, and it hang close to her heart. And in that moment, in that instant, standing before her, he realized his place. She still loved him--he would always be close to her. And she close to him. And even though he couldn't be the number one man in her life, he would always be right there, pinned close to her heart. That's where he would stay: in her heart. It was a warm place to be. He thought how happy he could be there.

He could protect her--watch over her when times were tough. She had grown in wisdom where he had been away from the Force. But his physical skill had been returned to him through his memory gain. He was a grand fighter, and he could still protect his love. He had done it before, and now he would do it again. This made him happy--gave him purpose.

"We have so much to discuss. But it sure is late, Xaz," he said, fighting off a yawn.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled as she gently played with the ring on the chain around her neck. A smile lit up her face as she thought about what this meant to her now. She still loved him and would continue to do so....despite the fact that she was married. It was good to have him back in her life...even if it was in a slightly altrered manner. Nodding at his words, she remembered how late it really was...

"Yes, we do....but perhaps we should sleep first...and then spend all tomorrow together...."

She grinned and thought about the plans that they could make to catch up. They had a lot of catching up to do. Then an idea popped into her mind. He still needed a Master to train him....she sighed, seeing in her mind how she wished to do so....but she had so many Padawans. It seemed as though many had forgotten the situation....but she knew his fighting and learning style for all of the time they had spent together. It would be good for both of them perhaps, if she did train him. Brushing the thoughts from her mind, she took his hand once again and began walking back to the Living Quarters....

[imported_Terran Starek]

"That sounds like an excellent plan to me," he added. He accompanied her back to her room. It was the place she shared with her new husband and their--children? Indeed, there was much to talk about. But there were to be no more questions tonight. Xazor needed her rest, and he would not allow any more jabbering from himself.

He guided her to her bed. "Xazor, lay down here and get some rest. I will leave you if you like...or I can stay. Just let me know what you are thinking." Of course, he meant that he would stay and make sure she slept ok. He was always good at comforting her when she was tired or stressed. He hoped she would want him to stay.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently and nodded. Once in the quarters she shared with Shade, she quickly grabbed her pajamas and went into the bathroom and changed, then came back out and laid her robes on the back of a chair. Now she was comfortbly dressed in baggy black pants and a white tube top...nice for the coolness of the evenings....but it wasn't hot. She crawled into the bed and yawned after realizing just how tired she really was. Laying her head down on the pillow, she smiled up at Chase.

"Please...stay here and watch over me while I sleep...."

She remembered times past when he would do that for her...and it was always comforting, especially since her husband was away and her children were spending the night at a friends room. Slowly she shut her eyes and breathed in deeply, falling into the comfort of the bed...

[imported_Terran Starek]

He sat, on the edge of her bed, and gently caressed her soft hair while she drifted off to sleep. He touched her face, and realized that this was probably on the few times that they would be together like this. Running his fingers through her hair one last time, he kissed her softly on her forehead and pulled the blankets up around her. Then, he moved to a chair in the corner of her bedroom and sat silently in it, watching her breathe. It was comforting to him. She breathed softly and rythmically.

Then, he decided to examine the room. His eyes darted along the walls untill they rested on what appeared to be Xazor's wedding picture. There she stoud, absolutely beautiful in a long satin dress that appeared to be--maybe blueish and lavendar. There stood her new husband--a man whose name he did not yet know. He was a bit taller than Xazor, just about as tall as he. He had spikey dark hair. Chase thought of a lot of comments, but kept them all to himself. He rememberred his promise to Xazor. He would not disrespect her. He wanted to ask her about her husband. And about her children--as he noticed there were rooms provided for children in this apartment. This whole place had such a different atmosphere than what he had known. It was soft, and warm, unlike the rough, cold castle-like walls of the Sith living quarters.

He sat back in his seat and let himself relax. What a night, he thought. This would mark the beginning to a life of wonderful new things. It would probably not be easy. But definitely possible with Xazor here.

[Xazor Elessar]

As Xazor slept, she kept herself open to the Force and felt all things around her. She felt Chase run his fingers through her hair and touch her face...then kiss her on the forehead. It made her feel comfortable once again. She drifted off to dreaming...dreaming of their times together when they were Sith. It seemed like so long ago...yet too close. She thought of her feelings for him the whole time she had dated Shade...she thought about Chase at her wedding...on her wedding night....and the next day...the day after that. She thought about him all the time and she dreamed about him now.

In her sleep she only stirred a bit as some not so plesant memories of Kama slipped into her mind. How she would have likeed to destroy him...but she was a Jedi...and she couldn't do that. Once she rested peacefully again, she seemed to smile in her sleep...continuing to breath rhythmically as she did so.....as beautiful visions danced along in her mind....for she was in a completely different world where she and Chase could exist together.....slowly through the night, she would drift in and out of that world...and the worlds of many....

[imported_Terran Starek]

He awoke several times, finding himself dozing off in the chair. Finally, he found himself so tired that he nearly fell out of it. He needed some serious rest. So, he figured it would be ok to steal a pillow from Xazor's bed and sleep on the floor next to her. It was close as he would get, so as not to disrespect the bonds of marriage between her and her husband. How he wanted to lay with her and hold her, like he had long ago. But he had to keep those thoughts in the back of his mind. He loved her--there was little doubt about it. But he couldn't act on his love through physical display. He could still protect her on this night.

He dreamt peacefully. Of what? He wasn't sure. Waterfalls and soft woodland, he thought. Of a place where he wanted to settle down after he finished training at the academy. A quiet place in a forest somewhere. He had always dreamed of building his own house. He used to talk with Xazor for hours about the layout. He'd ask her what kind of wood should he use and how would the roof be painted. He and Xazor would settle into a nook in the woodland...well...not anymore.

But rest was easy and his mind was at ease. Probably because of the relaxing aura that Xazor exhibited. The room was quiet and warm. He rested easy.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor slept well through the night until it was about two in the morning. She awoke and sat up, trying to figure out what was keeping her awake. Pushing the thoughts aside, she looked for Chase around the room....but did not see him. Then just as she was giving up hope, she noted him on the floor beside her. It brought a tear to her eyes...and soon a few more started to fall. How he loved her....and she still loved him. Yet, he did so much, that he respected her new life...and slept on the floor without trying anything. She knew that he wouldn't....and it made her heart swell at the sight.

Quietly she laid back down and gently drooped her arm over the side of her bed and ran her fingers through his hair....then touched his cheek gently as her eyes softly rested upon him. She remembered times when he laid beside her and held her close...how warm he was, and how safe she felt in his arm. She wanted that back so badly, but then she remembered Shade. He had done so much for her too....and she did love him....but having Chase back made things better and worse. Taking a sheet from the bed, she covered him with it, and then laid back down, touching him with her hand again. As she laid there, she soon closed her eyes and fell back to sleep...her arm still hanging over the edge of the bed, gently resting on his side. And they slept...though seperatly...they were together in a way....and the peace of the night cradled them through the darkness...

[imported_Terran Starek]

He slept so soundly that he was surprised to awake to a soft clatter above him. Someone must have been getting in late. She had laid a sheet on him, and her arm hung beside the bed, dangling before him. He couldn't help but gently touch her hand and carress her soft fingers. He knew all to well that he couldn't crawl in bed with her. This would be as close as he could get. But it was close enough--he hadn't seen her in so long.

He had a lot to tell her in the morning. So much. They could talk maybe over lunch. But for now, he needed his rest. He lay his head back in the comfort of Xazor's dangling arm and slept.

[Xazor Elessar]

The dawn of the next day broke early and the sun crept through the large bay windows that overlooked the jungle below. As the ribbons of light slowly built upon the East horizon, it shown in Xazor's eyes and made her stir. She did not wish to wake from her peaceful slumber.....but day could not be avoided. Sitting up in bed, she looked down to the side and noticed Chase still laying there.....sleeping soundly as ever. It made her smile to think that he had stayed with her all night......on the floor, nonetheless.

The Knight quietly stepped over him and crept to her dresser where she opened a drawer and gathered some clean red robes in her arms, as well as proper undergarments and such. Then she crept to the bathroom and changed from her sleepware, to her traditional Jedi outfit. Undergarments came first, then a thin white sleeveless robe, a black robe with long sleeves that allowed the ends to hand way past her hands and way below her wrists.....and then her red robe with a cloaked hood. Smiling as she adjusted her clothing, the Garou Knight stood before a mirror and examined herself, then began to adjust the Garou Warrior Braids in her hair. Once satisfied with those things......she set to do a bit of make up to herself.

After finishing her morning routine, she left the bathroom and took care of the pajamas from that night, by placing them in the laundery.....then she quietly crept with bare feet, to the bed. Sitting down on the edge, she leaned over and pulled back a piece of hair from Chase's face.....gently running her finger down his jawline before sitting up once again. The sun was out fully now and it shined brightly into her room......bathing everything in sight in its light. A warm smile danced upon Xazor's lips as she waited for the man to awake and greet the day......

[imported_Terran Starek]

He awoke, slowly but surely, as the morning sun brightened his face and eyes. It was warm and the light was softly bright. He sprung up abruptly, as he always woke quickly. He guessed it was a safety mechanism. He seemed to spring to life every morning and usually with clenched fists. Mainly because of the night mares, he thought.

He turned towards the bed to check on Xazor and make sure she was ok. But he didn't find her sleeping--she was already awake. She looked over him while he awoke, like an angel. She looked like an angel as well. Yet here he was, with an old pare of pants and no shirt. He covered himself with the sheet--feeling a bit inappropriately dressed. He thought last night that he would have woken up before her.

"Good morning, Xaz," he said. "I, uh, I didn't think I would be out so hard. Guess I was tired." He sheepishly rose to his feet and grabbed his shirt off of the chair. Putting it on, he stood before her, a bit sleep worn. "Guess I should get some proper clothes on, eh?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently as she watched Chase wake up slowly. She remembered times when he would awake and sit beside her...watching over her until she too woke up. Now she did the same for him. She shook her head when he apologized for being "inappropriatly dressed", for she felt as though he was fine. No shirt on was not a big deal....it was just like when her Padawans trained with her on a hot day.

"Good morning to you, sleeping beauty..."

She giggled to herself and fixed a tought of hair that was unrufully out of place. A smile danced upon her lips as he suggested clothes, and then she remembered something.

"Hold on a moment...."

With that, she rose from her place and touched his shoulder gently as she walked over to a closet. From the top shelf, she pulled a good sized silver box. In the box were a traditional pair of Jedi robes, white in color to symbolize the new life that Chase was living. Black combat boots also rested in the box to accompany the uniform. Along with that were a pair of black, leather gloves, for use on missions and things of the such. Smiling, the Knight walked over to Chase and handed it to him.

"Here, open this before you get dressed. I think you'll be able to use what you find. Besides....I give all of my close friends a gift on special occasions......and well, your arrival is special to me....."

She winked slightly, hoping he remembered that he would be training soon. Today would be an exciting day for both of them....and the rest of their lives...well, that was up to the Force....

[imported_Terran Starek]

The gift she had given him was excellent! He did need some robes, and these would do perfectly. He thanked her and gave her a hug, knowing that he had a new master. A master he could trust and feel protected by. How he wanted to kiss her...but no. It was innapropriate. His behavior would change now. He would respect her as an authority figure and would fight those thoughts out of his mind. It would be hard. But he owed it to her. She had done much to heal him the past night. Their bond came to life again, and it would grow, he thought.

He used the bathroom to change into his new atire. It looked great on him. It was light, flexible material that would allow him to move well and breathe when it was hot. Of course it was perfect--it was Jedi. They had this stuff down to a science. Looking at himself in the mirror remined him a lot of the old days. The robes would be dark; jet black like the night. On his back, he wore a red emblem. It was the emblem of Kama. Thinking of this, he reached around and touched his back. There was no emblem stitched on. Just another daydream.

He had done alot of thinking. He had so many things to share with Xazor, and today he would reveal many of his recent thoughts to her. She deserved honesty from him, and only that. Of course, if he really wanted to fool her, it would be difficult to pull it off anyway. She could read him like a book and her telepathy was sharp. But he had nothing to hide from her.

He exited the bathroom and presented himself to Xazor.

"Well," he questioned, "how do I look?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor grinned when Chase came out of the bathroom. The robes fit him perfectly and the boots added such a nice touch. The Knight hugged him tightly and eyed him over, walking around him with an approving smile.

"You look wonderful! Like the Jedi that you are."

The Garou Knight smiled once again and adjusted the creases out of her own robes....red in color. She had many robes...but she felt most at home in the red ones...they really accented her blonde hair and made her eyes stand out as her most beautiful feature. She did a little fixing up of her room quick as Chase finished his own morning routine....probably different now than it was when they were training together as Sith.

"How about some breakfast to start our day of together?"

She questioned, smiling at her own suggestion. Though she had changed so much since he last saw her...little things remained the same...like the way she smiled. Her face became so animated to the point where her eyes seemed to glow. The way she carried herself...tall and proud, had not changed either, except it was not in a haught manner as in the past. Chase had changed too, but just like her, he was remained the same in many aspects...like the way he hugged her....as if afraid that she would break. So many memories...good memories, flooded her mind and she seemed to stare off into space...as she used to so many times when they were together....

[imported_Terran Starek]

"Sounds great," he replied. His stomach growled at the thought of some chow. This was gonna be hard, but by the Force he would make it work. She was...beautiful. Red really was her color. When he was with Biggs on the Flatliner, he would have dreams of a gorgeous angel in red, watching over him. He now knew who that angel was. It was the angel who had always been there for him. Though elusive at times, the place she had left in his memory had never faded.

They left the room together, he letting Xazor lead the way. He didn't really now where one would seek out breakfast in this place, so he just followed. She was so graceful in her movements that he--dangit! Stop that!, he told himself. You have to keep your mind off of her! She's not yours, you know...not anymore...

"So tell me about Shade," he asked, mostly to clear his own thoughts. He hoped that by hearing about the new man in her life, he would forget how much he wished it was still himself...

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently and shut the door to her room behind her. The Knight lead the way to Master Yoghurt's Bar and Grill where they would find some great breakfast. She smiled and let him catch up to walk beside her...and then he asked about Shade. How she missed him now that he was gone on a mission for a few months. It was such imperfect timing too....a few days after their wedding he left.

"Well....Shade is a wonderful man. He is a Jedi Knight here as well...and was promoted a few months before me. He was the first person to greet me when I arrived at the Recruitment Center. He was so kind to me...he showed me around and took me to dinner that night. We became friends instantly."

She paused, not wishing to reveal details of how the first day she arrived...she was kissing him that night. It made her think of her time with Chase and how he probably did not want to hear that. It would only break his heart further. Sighing, she smiled and continued.

"He is tall, about your height...strong, and he takes care of me. He would rather kill himself than to see me in any sort of pain. He has spiky black hair and it needs to be cut often..."

The Knight giggled, remembering how they playfully argued about the length of his hair....but she loved it. Now when she spoke of him, she glowed...just like when she told Shade of Chase...she glowed. He knew that she still loved him...he knew that she always would...but what he did not know, is that he would ever turn up because he was supposedly dead.

"He's funny and romantic...and he has gotten me out of a few binds....well, several to be acccurate. He respects me and he really loves me. He was so shy when he proposed...but when I said yes...you could see the joy spring from his heart."

The Garou woman smiled, exposing her elongated canines. It rarely happened unless she was very happy....or extremely upset. It was the first, though...very happy she was. How she missed him though...and her thoughts dwelled on his safety. She could still feel his life signature through the Force...so she knew he was alright.

"What else do you care to know of Shade...or myself? I have so many things to tell you....so do not be afraid to ask...I am completely open and I wear my heart and mind on my sleeve....just like times of old..."

[imported_Terran Starek]

"No, Xaz...thanks for sharing your thoughts..." he said. He really did appreciate Xazor for sharing. But it was difficult to hear about it. I mean, afterall, he was hearing about is...replacement. No! Don't think about it like that! Don't think of it as being replaced. Remember that she still cares about you. Don't forget that, he thought.

"I wanted to tell you something important," he said as they sat down in the Bar and Grill. "I...I ummm...well, it's about my name. I am keeping Terran Starek. Maybe it's not that big of a deal, but I wanted you to know. My past...I'm not proud of it. Everything about it was dark and horrible." Besides his engagement with Xazor; but he didn't think it was appropriate to mention that now. "I think that Chase should remain dead."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled, but got the feeling that he was saddened by her explaination. He wanted to know, though...so she did not understand. Sighing as they reached the Bar and Grill and sat down, she listened as he spoke of his name. It was sad to see that the past had affected him so...but she understood.

"That's alright...I understand. You have a lot to work through, as did I. I kept my name though, for my Father gave it to me...remember, it means "Innocent Light"."

She smiled, thinking about her Father...but then she was snapped back into reality, remembering that he did not know that she found her Father. A bright smile crossed her lips as she thought about where to begin.

"I have so many things to tell you...but the first thing, is that I found my Father...well, rather...he found me. He was my Master and shortly before I was promoted to Knight status, my memory came back as well as his...and we were united as Father and Daughter again!"

[imported_Terran Starek]

"That's great, Xazor! I remember how it troubled you so," he said with a big smile. Her life had changed so much. There were so many differences now, but yet they were the same people in their souls. How odd it was, he thought, that even though time had the power to change nations, planets, technology, and people, it never could change the heart. A good heart was always and will always be good; while an evil heart, one that is true evil, would never change. He had known few with an evil heart, as he believed in the good of people. But some that he had meant were as cold as ice...Kama...

"You must be so happy here," he spoke again. "I'm so happy for you, that you have found your place, Xazor. You are like a star," he paused, comptemplating wether or not it was ok to compliment her. He decided it was. "You are glowing with joy and beauty. I...I think I have truly never seen you this happy." He smiled again and took her hand softly. Letting go, he turned to the menu to order something to eat.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled as he complimented her and took her hand. It felt so good to be with him again......but she remembered that she was not really 'with him'. Her thoughts dwelled on her husband as she sat with the man who held her heart first. She sighed and nodded slightly.

"I have so many things to tell you, as I am sure you do for me as well. I adopted two children who are now my Padawans.....my little girl's name is Natia and she's eight.....and my little boy is Jedidiah and he is six. Both of them are so sweet. I am training eighteen some odd Padawans now as well......"

She said with a giggle. Sighing, she looked down at the menu to try to figure out what to eat. Everything looked so good but she was indesisive.....and her thoughts rested elsewhere.

"I have something very important to tell you.....and I can't keep it a secret anymore.....but....I'm.................pregnant. It will be my first birth child and I'm scared. Perhaps you did not want to hear that.....but I had to tell you, for you needed to know. I'm only about two months along.....which makes sense....I was married two months ago. I'm sorry if this hurts you.....to know how much I've moved on......but I had a dream one night. I was walking through the fields outside of the home we had shared together. Through the mist you came and I began to cry for I had not seen you for so long. You took me in your arms and held me tightly....and it seemed to last forever.....but then you pulled away and took my face in your hands and kissed me one last time. Your words were so clear before you parted, for you said...'I love you....so move on. I only want happiness for your life....my love.' With that....you disappeared and I reached out for you, but you were gone....."

The Knight said softly and without her knowing it, another tear ran down her cheek.....followed by a few more. She sighed to herself and tried to read the menu through blurred vision. Finally she made up her mind based on eating there in the past. The Knight shut her menu and let the tears fall onto it.....

[imported_Terran Starek]

She was so honest with him. There were never secrets between them, even in times when the information revealed was hard to bear. She always gave it to him straight--and he loved her for it.

It was true. Someone had stepped in in his absence and fallen in love with Xazor. He didn't consider it so much her fault. Afterall, who would not fall in love with her? She was perfect. No, he considered it the fault of chance and the mark of fate. It was The Force that ruled us; The Force that made our paths. One could only take what was given to him and do with it what he could.

"I'm glad you have a family, Xaz. I always knew you would be a good mother." He spoke to her softly and genuinely. He meant everything he said. "I should like to meet these children someday. And as for the unborn, your secret is safe with me. Don't worry, Xazor. The child will be a beautiful creation; for beauty creates beauty." He smiled at her and tried to be as warm as possible. It was true that he wasn't exceptionaly thrilled that the two would not be reunited; but he had to accept his fate. He had no choice.

"The dream you had...it fullfills it's purpose." He looked deep into her eyes, to make sure he had her attention alone. It was like the world around them disapeared as he spoke. "I love you. You know that will not change. Situations may always change, Xazor, but my love for you will not. For you to be happy is my only wish. And if that happiness comes without me, then it must be so. Just know that I will never leave your side as a friend...as a companion...as a soulmate." He said it slow and thoughtfuly, only to make sure she understood that he was not hiding any truth. The words he spoke were straight from his heart, and she knew it to be so.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled when he spoke with happiness for her. It was good to know that he supported her.....even though it was not he whom she was with anymore. She blushed at his compliments and smiled the whole time.

"You shall meet my children.....they will love you. You'll be 'Uncle Ch.......Terran'."

She smiled slightly, still wishing he would have kept his name as it was. The new one suited him well......but it was awkward seeing as though she had known him all her life as Chase. His words to follow made her heart stop. She knew that he still loved her....but it was still so deep. She looked down at the table and smiled to herself, then gently touched the ring around her neck.

"I know you do......and I will always love you as well and care for you....but you know the situation I'm in. I can't just up and leave because you came back......even though my heart would very much like to....."

She said softly, hoping he understood. The Knight shifted her weight in the seat and smiled as a server droid came to take their orders. She ordered her usual pancakes and Namana Juice....then left the air open for him to place his order as well.....continuing to wonder what was going through his mind.....

[imported_Terran Starek]

"I'll have the same," he spoke to the server droid. He smiled as Xazor; she used to make this for him when they were together. It seemed only proper that they share a familiar meal together. The server droid puffed away and Terran felt that they could be alone again.

"I understand, Xazor. I know that you have become such a strong Jedi here. You understand the importance of logic and reason over emotion. It's ok. Don't try to explain." He smiled at her again. He hoped his words would ease her pain. Knowing that it hurt her to part with him was reassuring. It meant to him that she had not fogotten what they had.

"Well, I have been thinking about training. I think I should seek a master now. It's time for preparation." He had a few ideas about who he would seek.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently, happy that he was supportive of her. Her thoughts wandered again to times that they had shared together. How she wished that she could be wrapped in his arms again.....laying together by the fire place in the home they had made together. The Knight sighed and looked down at the table but her thoughts were broken by his words of training.

"Oh really? And who were you thinking about?"

She questioned with an inquisitive look in her eyes. She too had thoughts of who would train him......but she had not said anything to him of it yet......

[imported_Terran Starek]

"Actually..." He hesitated. He wanted to reveal everything to Xazor--no lies! he had told himself--but he thought that maybe his idea was a bit too much. He had met her father--Master Verse Dawnstrider--his first day here. He was kind and he had a love for nature Terran thought could only belong to his heart. They had connected so well, that in that moment, Terran had become his padawan. Xazor and he were so close, that he thought it might pain her to have him finding guidance in her father. It would mean that Terran would be around the family much much more; and he wasn't sure if it was good for Xazor and himself to be seeing lots of each other. It could arrouse old feelings in the both of them.

"Well Xazor, I have been talking to some Masters lately. I think I have some good options and some good ideas." That would suffice. Not a lie but not the whole truth.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled and nodded gently, glad that he had been talking to the Masters and finding out things about them. She had a few in mind....seeing as though she had so many Padawans it would not be practical for her to train him.....but she knew who would.

"You should train with my Father! He is an excellent teacher....in fact, I was his Padawan as well!"

[imported_Terran Starek]

How did she do it?!? How did she do this to him? She was amazing. In one sentence, all of his concerns and cares were dropped. He knew that training with Verse would be fine with Xazor and a great idea.

"Actually...I have talked to him. We start training today. I have to meet him in the wood behind the temple." He smiled at Xazor, the excitement flowing from his aura. He knew she could feel it. But a concern did weigh heavily on his heart.


"This is going to be ok, Xazor? Even with Shade...I mean...you know, if I'm around." He poked the words out--embarassed to say them but he felt they were neccessary. " I told you I wanted you to be happy--and you know I mean it. It might be hard to be near so much, Xazor. You know...seing each other constantly. Maybe it won't be good for us. If it means I should leave the GJO..." He didn't finish. She knew what he meant.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled with joy when he spoke of talking with him already. Her heart smiled too...knowing that they would work so well together.

"You start today? That is so wonderful!"

She clapped her hands gently, filled with excitement. His next statement was a bit melancholy though....and she wondered why the situation made him so. But then he revealed it with his words. Shaking her head, she leaned across the table and took his hands in her own and looked right into his eyes.

"Leave? No...you can't do that! I did that to you....please don't return the favor! I want you to be close to me! Seeing eachother will only make our bond stronger....you know that we'll make this work. We always have..."

Her words were soft and heartfelt, hoping that he saw the sincerity in her eyes. She wanted him to train with her Father...they were very like minded and he was her friend.....it would all work out for the better, she knew it....

[imported_Terran Starek]

When Xazor was sure of something--when she believed in something and felt it in her heart and told it to you--there was no way to deny it. She had a way to convince him of things like none other. Maybe it was love; he didn't know. But something inside of him always trusted her and believed her.

"You're right. I shouldn't be so silly in my thoughts." He felt kind of embarrassed by the comment now, but Xazor had made things ok. Everything would be ok--he truly believed that. He had no doubts abou the future, he was just anxious to see it unfold. But patience is a virtue, and for now he would just have to wait it all out.

"We train today. He told me to meet him in the woods, to find him. I think it will be difficult, sensing his signature in a grove full of life. But, I think I will be able to do it. Afterall, I'm pretty used to the Dawnstrider signature." He smiled at Xazor and chuckled as their breakfast arrived.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor grinned at his words, glad that he was staying. She knew that her Father would give him a challenge while training...already she could see that.

"He's making you find him? Funny...that's how I started training with him too..."

She said softly, a smile spread across her lips. Their breakfast arrived and she took a fork in hand and dove into it. The Knight had been excessivly hungry, due to her carrying a child. The food was delicious and made her smile.

"So...I was thinking...we should spend more time together. Shade won't mind...maybe we could go somewhere..."

She suggested softly. Her mind scanned fun places for them to go and visit....


ooc: check your PMs, C! ;)

[imported_Terran Starek]

Terran definitely agreed--spending some time together would be good. They still--even after this excellent talk--had so much to catch up on. They wanted to learn about each other again. As for locations...he didn't really know of many vacation spots.

"Sounds great, Xaz. Where do you think we should go? When do you wish to leave?" Terran wasn't exactly busy as of late, so he could easily get away.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently and nodded, thinking of possible places to go.

"Hmm...we could go to Naboo...or my home planet, Eden? Both are very beautiful. And we could leave....I don't know, how about tomorrow or the next day? Sometime soon..."

She said softly, knowing that they did have much to catch up on. It would be good for them to have fun and talk freely...to share emotions that one might think unhealthy. To cry without being looked at funny....but just to remember....

[imported_Terran Starek]

"Eden it is, Xazor." He said with a smile. "I want to see your home planet. I want to relive old memories in a familiar place to you." He hoped that she would approve of this idea. He truly did wish to see the planet--he had heard it had mountains like Naboo and gardens greater. He loved nature--all life, teeming in a natural state.

"We can leave as soon as you are free, Xaz." He spoke and took a bite of his pancakes. Excellent, he thought. He had lived off of space rations for way too long.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled and nodded gently.

"My home planet is so beautiful.....you'll love it there. It's teeming with Nature.....something which I became extremely close to. I am a Mentalist and an Elementist.......as my Father is. You'll find that out and he'll teach you the ways of both as well!"

She grinned to herself and took a bit of her pancakes, then a sip of her Namana juice. It was so good.....she felt like she could eat them all day......since carrying a child, that is.

"So yeah, we'll leave tomorrow.....I'll just take a leave of absence and give a break to my Padawans for a little while....."

[imported_Terran Starek]

"Sounds excellent," Terran said as he was also eating his breakfast. It seemed that all would be well here; he was at peace. No matter who would try to steal his new life away, he would not allow it. He was going to become a great Jedi Knight. He would never give in or give up again.

"I should pack some things tonight." He said this aloud, half thinking to himself. "What should I bring? The standard warm weather atire?" He thought about the sights and smells of the nature of Eden. No doubt, it would be beautiful. He couldn't wait. He was thoroughly excited about the visit.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor grinned and nodded in agreement.

"Indeed.....I too will need to pack up tonight. My ship was being serviced yesterday...so it should be ready tomorrow morning! And yes...bring clothes for the warm weather....it is beautiful on Eden! Nature and everything there is incredible.....and it is so close knit under the guidance of Gaia. It is truly a wonderful place.....but just be aware.....every morning.....usually.....I wake up around five to meditate and watch the sunrise, and especially on a planet so rich with Nature! I may get up a few hours earlier than that!"

She laughed to herself in excitement....then thought of everything she would have to pack. It wouldn't take her long, especially when she was so excited about the trip......

[imported_Terran Starek]

Terran knew this was going to be one great trip. They could spend time together--as friends--unbounded by the rush of life on Yavin. Yes, it was true; the temple was a place of rest. But even a Jedi Master could get caught up in the bustle of academy life. It was nice to take a break and relax.

"Xaz...I'm so excited to start training today. Not only to meet your biological father--" for a split second he thought of Kama "--but to be trained by him?!? It honors me to have this oppurtunity, Xazor." He smiled to her softly.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled to herself and sipped on her Namana Juice before looking up into Terran's excited eyes. Oh how she missed him....but it would be good to rebuild their bond stronger than before....based on friendship. She smiled to herself and nodded.

"Indeed......I considered it an honor to be trained by him as well.....for he was my Master before I knew he was my Father. It took me several months here to figure that out. I would occasionally catch a glance from him here and there. One day he called me to his room and told me that he thought of me more than just a Padawan....but as a Daughter....so he adopted me. It was even monthes after that that we discovered together that he was my Father......"

She said softly, finishing off the juice that sat before her. It would be neat to watch him train with her Father.....they would make a good team.....

[imported_Terran Starek]

Terran's face grew soft and firm. He took her hand, stopping her from finishing her drink. He looked deeply into her eyes, knowing that it was one of the last times he would be able to truly address her without fear of hurting Shade's own feelings.

"I will become a strong Jedi Knight. A Great servant of the Force." He spoke with confidence, with pride. "I will always protect you. From anything and anyone--evil, Shade, Verse, myself--anyone who would ever try to hurt you. Our love is changed...but my devotion will never change." He smiled at her.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently and nodded, allowing him to take her hand. With her free hand, she gently caressed his face and looked into his eyes.....echoing his thoughts and emotions without saying a word.

"Yes.....our love is changed.....but like you, my devotion to you is like a rock.....unmoving.....unchanging. I gave myself to you, but then we were separated. So again, I give myself to you but in friendship.....in a different kind of friendship....something so deep and binding.....something different from everything and everyone else. And I accept your protection and love....."

With that, she set her glass down and took her hands to the back of her neck....untying the necklace that had the ring on it. A smile crossed her lips as she took the ring in her hand in held it before her.....then slipped it onto the ring finger of her right hand.....not the left of course.....but the right in sign of a deep and unending devotion and love that only their friendship could hold. She knew that he still had the silver engagement band somewhere.....and she hoped that maybe he would do the same symbolic act with her. The Knight held up her right hand, palm facing away from both of them....the back of her hand to the farthest right. Then when he took her hand they could "seal" the pact that they now shared.....

[imported_Terran Starek]

Terran saw her do this....he was amazed. He still meant to her what he had always wished. Just...different. But now, how could he even think to address her differently. He reached down into his pocket, pulling out a small, beat up cloth bag of something. Out of the bag he removed a tattered chain with a wedding band in tact. It was the only piece of his past he had ever owned--he didn't know what it meant. He just knew it was important.

"I...well..." He didn't need words. He pulled the band off of the chain and put it on the same finger that Xazor had. He held her hand, just like she had intended, and sealed the deal. He felt a real connection--a bond with her. He was so happy.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor grinned as she took his hand in her own.....confirming the bond that they shared. It was strong and would only grow stronger with time.

"For all of the times that I lay awake in bed.....wondering if I would ever see you again......wondering what I would say if I did......this makes up for those times and more. It's perfect....."

She said softly, continuing to hold his hand. Indeed, all things had seemed to work out in the end despite what had occured in the past. It made Xazor's heart soar to reconfirm this bond with her soulmate....

[imported_Terran Starek]

It was hard in that moment. A bittersweet time, he thought to himself. On the one hand, he was bonded closely with his love, his soulmate. He loved the fact that they could live together again. On the other hand, he could not love her like he did. That he missed...deeply.

"Xazor...I have something to say." He chose his words carefully, for he did not wish to offend or step on toes. He wanted her to know everything, though. This he could not hide. "Xaz...I still love you. I love you deeply, and I always will. No matter who...or what comes between us...I love you." She had to know that he still felt like this. He knew she would understand. This new bond would allow it to be so.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled to herself at his words and lowered her head, looking at the table for a moment before she searched his eyes with her own.

"I feel the same way.....but you know the situation I am in. Perhaps the Force wills it to be this way....it will be a great test to us and our strong bond. Nonetheless.....my caring for you will never end...."

She smiled gently and leaned across the table and kissed his cheek before sitting back in her seat. The events of the last day until now had all worked out in the end...and for that, she was eternally grateful....

[imported_Terran Starek]

He welcomed her kiss and hoped she felt that same grattitude returned.

"Well, Xaz, I think it is time for me to head to training. Your father will be waiting for me soon." He looked at her again. They were so different. They weren't kids anymore. It was strange.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently...feeling his gratitude at her friendly motion. He then spoke....he had to leave now. She lowered her head with a bit of sadness that he had to depart so soon...but she understood...training came first and especially the first day of it. She smiled and took his hands in hers, looking into his eyes for a moment.

"My Father will be pleased when he sees his new student....I can guarantee that. He is a good teacher...so learn all that you can. We will have to do this again soon....spend more time together...."

She said softly, squeezing his hands reassuringly as she rose from her seat. The Knight would see him off to training as he had once done for her so long ago....

[imported_Terran Starek]

"Of course! I love to...spend time with you, Xazor." He paused, because he wanted to say that he loved to be with her. But he knew that wasn't the case.

"However, I must go. Training starts very soon. Please, take care of yourself. Should we plan to meet again soon?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently and nodded, her eyes dimming with his words......for she knew what he wished to say.

"Indeed......tomorrow, perhaps.....or the next day. Maybe we can take a walk through the gardens....they're beautiful here......"

She said softly, noting in her mind how she had loved the gardens on Cysaria.....they were big and beautiful.....though her heart was dark and full of hatred at that time.....they brought a strange peace to her.....

[imported_Terran Starek]

"Sounds great, Xazor." He said this, rising from the table. He realized how late it was--it was time to get to training. He finished his juice and came to her side.

"Wish me luck...I hope the Force is with me today." He leaned down and embraced her. It was...well, like it always was. He didn't want to let her go. As he stood, he backed a few steps towards the door, never taking his eyes away from her.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently and fell into his embrace.....she too did not wish to let go but it was not time for that now....he was nearly late as it was.

"The Force is always with you......as am I......"

She said softly, walking over to him and taking his right hand in her hands......looking down at the ring he wore. She would always be with him.....even if it was only in mind and spirit....she was there.

"May you do well and bring honor to this Order.....and may the Force be with you....."

[imported_Terran Starek]

"And you, dear Xazor. And you." He hated to let go of her grasp, but it was true--it was time to go. He would bring honor to the GJO. He would bring a heart and devotion like none other. He promised that to himself.

And he knew, that though it all, Xazor would always be there.


END