A heavy heart (open)

[SashaKovalev]

He was a bit more reserved this time as he stepped onto the Saiatah High Roller. The last time he’d been on it, his life had seemed relatively care free. But this time, as he stepped on, he was just a little more mature, and a bit wiser after his recent experience.

He’d made the mistake of becoming blood siblings with a Jedi – something the Sith Order hadnt taken too kindly to. Lady Vader had given him a choice of sorts – undo what had been done, or suffer the consequences. In undoing what had been done, he’d lost his left hand – severed from his arm by his own hand – his own lightsaber. Willingly.

He was a proud member of the Sith Order. His dedication and loyalty had never been in question as far as he was concerned – and he proved this to Lady Vader that night.

And though his hand had been replaced since then – a mechanical hand with skin that very closely matched his own, so closely that unless he got an extreme tan, few would notice – it still weighed heavily upon him.

She had been kind to him when it was all over, taking him to the medical ward and speaking with him the way she always had. But he was hard on himself, and the fact that he’d disappointed her and forced her to give him the ultimatum she’d given him still bothered the young sith.

He hadnt ventured out of the palace grounds since then. He wasn’t up just yet to getting out. His arm still ached, though with each day the pain had greatly subsided, and he was still getting used to using this new hand of his. It reacted well to the nerve endings, and was stronger than his own hand had been – but it still took a bit of getting used to. And so he decided to get out a bit in a relatively safe location – a ship owned and patrolled by members of his order.

His violet eyes looked about, still taking in the newness of the ship. He’d seen much of it last time, but there was still much left to explore. Idly, unconsciously, the fingers of his left hand opened and closed, creating a fist, testing themselves, as he walked through the ship.

He was easily distracted by one of the dancers as she walked by. Being an eighteen year old kid, it didn’t take much to get his attention. His eyes followed her until she disappeared into the crowd. He’d considered going to the lower levels. He was more than curious about it, and what went on down there. He’d heard plenty of rumors, and wasn’t naïve about it - but common sense told him that he had better things to put his credits towards.

And so he continued through the ship and stopped for a moment to watch an interesting game of craps that was going on. Someone had been having a few lucky rolls. And then he continued on, looking about with mild curiosity as he walkeduntil he finally stopped at one of the bars. He walked up to it and looked to the barkeep.

"Just an Corellian ale, please." He ordered, his voice low and somewhat tired as his conscience weighed heavily upon him.

[Javus Parr]

(Javus was making his usual rounds and, it being around the lunch hour, had made his way into one of the bars to grab one of his favs: a greasy yet absolutely wonderful bantha burger.)

(As he approached the bar, he spotted the young man he had spoken with in length, and stepping up he patted the boy on the back, sitting himself on the stool beside him. He smiled broadly.)

Hey kid! How's it...

(As Sasha looked at Javus, the smile on his face faded slightly. He'd seen that look before, and it never ceased to chill him.)

...going... uh, rough... day?

(He inquired gently, as he had no idea what state of mind the boy was in, nor did he know how kindly he took to prying.)

[SashaKovalev]

At the pat on the back, Sasha turned. The last time he'd seen Javus, he'd been smiling. On this day he was not, but he made some sort of effort. Afterall, the ship's head honcho had been quite helpful showing him around the last time he'd been there.

But it must have been written on his face. In the sleepiness of his violet eyes, or the drawn expression, for Javus had instantly asked if he was having a rough day.

"More like a rough week. But nothing I didnt deserve." He replied, his right hand instantly coming to touch his left, as if making sure that there was truly a hand there.

"How are things with the ship?" He asked as he was served his ale. He reached for it and took a long drink of it before setting it back on the bar.

[Javus Parr]

(The bar tender gave Javus an inquiring look.)

Barkeep: The usual, Commander?

(Javus nodded.)

Sure thing, Dirk. With a side of curly fries.

Barkeep: You got it.

(As the bar tender went off to the kitchen, yelling the order, Javus looked back at Sasha.)

The ship's alright for the most part, and everything on it seems to be working like clockwork, which can or cannot make me nervous.

Had a bit of a problem with some cheaters at the Ithorian Belle Casino, but everything's been cleared up.

(He looked at the boy's ale thoughtfully.)

Man, you really must have had a rouch week to feel the need to errode the lining of your stomache.

(He chuckled softly. It was an attempt at some light hearted conversation. It seemed like the boy could use some humor.)

[SashaKovalev]

Sasha shook his head and wondered what kind of idiots would attempt cheating in a Sith gambling ship. They were either too smart, or too stupid for their own good, he decided.

He cracked a slight grin at the mention of erroding his stomach. Almost a small chuckle, even. His fingers traced the logo of the ship that was imprinted on the pint glass, then he raised it and took another drink.

He sighed.

"Yeah, it was a pretty bad week." He answered, his violet eyes on his beer, as if mesmerized by it.

"I did something pretty stupid, and got what I deserved for it." He offered. This was likely all he would offer about it, for it wasnt something he was proud of.

"Ever have one of those weeks?" He asked, looking up from his beer to Javus.

[Javus Parr]

(Javus let a hand massage his chin, then his cheek, thinking.)

Well, I haven't had one like that in awhile.

(His eyes narrowed remembering.)

Though I remember when I was about, oh maybe 16 or 17, of an incident.

I was showing off to some girl my dad's new hotrod speeder. A Corellian Firewind 250GTS. That baby sang when you hit the accelerator down to the floor.

Well, in the process of showing off my piloting skills, I didn't see the lumbering trash speeder coming from a side street. POW! Needless to say, the speeder was wrecked all the way up to the cockpit. Hell, I was lucky to walk away with only minor cuts and bruises. But the worst was the hammering I got from my old man. I think i would have rather been in a coma then have to go through that.

(He finished his story as his meal came. He smiled broadly.)

Ah! Now, if you're gonna sit hereat this bar, you have to order this!

(He raised the big, fat, greasy, bantha burger up at eye level.)

Yeah, it'll probably clog your arteries and send ya to an early grave, but hell, you only live once.

(With that, he took an enormous bite from the burger, closing his eyes and enjoying every chew.)

[SashaKovalev]

An amused grin came to Sasha's face as Javus told him of the hotrod speeder incident. He even tried to hide a snicker of amusement, rather unsuccessfully. But it got him out of the bad mood he'd been in for the moment.

He didnt have an old man to pummel him for anything stupid, but his mother had certainly let him have it when he was younger and screwed up. So he did understand what it felt like to have a parent angry at him.

"So did you get the girl?" He asked, considering getting one of those burgers for himself, though he wasnt all that hungry at the moment.

[Javus Parr]

(He smiled around a mouthful of burger and answered after swallowing.)

Actually, yeah, I did get the girl. She felt so sorry for me. It was the whole sympathy deal. I made out more like a bandit than i thought I would.

(He laughed and took a swig of his drink.)

Funny how life has a way of turning stuff around on ya. I swear, it's got the most twisted sense of humor I know of.

(He munched down again on the big burger.)

[SashaKovalev]

He took another long drink of his ale, finishing off the pint. Javus's story had a god ending. A happy ending. He supposed maybe his would too, eventually, but for now, it still bothered him. And there wasnt a whole lot that was going to change that.

He ordered another drink rather than a burger. He wasnt planning on getting drunk, and he wouldnt from two pints anyway. But he was rather enjoying drinking them at the moment, for the alcohol offered some sort of comfort that nothing else seemed to be able to provide.

As the second drink arrived, he let it sit there for a moment.

"When you were with the Imperials, did you have a commander that you looked up to?" He asked, his question seemingly unconnected to their conversation, but he was drawing the parrallel between a Sith disappointing his elder, and an Imperial disappointing his commander.

[Javus Parr]

(The question seemed oddly placed in the conversation they were having, making his euebrow raise slightly. Javus finished his bite before answering and nodding his head.)

General Venster. He was the one that pushed me to my every limit. I sometimes hated him for that, but at the same time I looked up to him. I remember wanting to be like him in every way.

(He set the burger down and reached for his drink, washing down the rest of the bite.)

The good General passed away some time ago. I've tried to live by his teachings ever since.

[SashaKovalev]

He finally reached for his pint and lifted it to his lips. He took a smaller drink this time, as if he was a bit more relaxed and not quite so high strung as he had been before.

"Did you ever really screw up with him?" He asked, referring to this General that Javus had admired.

As the barkeep took his empty pint glass away, he followed it for a moment before he looked back to the ship's commander.

[Javus Parr]

Screw up?

(Javus chuckled.)

Does flipping orders around construe as screwing up?

(The chuckle died, as he remembered.)

Yeah, I screwed up. Big time. i thought my Imperial career was finished.

I was only a cadet at the time, practically green all around, and the General had given me an assignment. An assignment all to myself. No help. I was gonna prove to him what a good commander I'd make some day.

He gave me a list of commands I was going to have to give to a squadron from the flight control tower. Well, me being me, I wanted to really prove my smartness, and memorized the whole dang list. Hence I didn't bring it with me for the job.

That's where I screwed up. I got a case of stage fright at the control tower, and switched orders around. The end result was two fighters coliding in mid air. Lucky for me, both pilots lived, but I was put on probation for almost six months.

But, after six months, the general came to see me, and gave me the exact same job again.

He was giving me a second chance.

I dunno... maybe he saw potential in me, or felt sorry for me. In either case, I followed through with the orders, this time taking them with me. My performance was flauless.

I think it was at that point he took me under his wing.

[SashaKovalev]

Sasha liked Javus Parr. The guy was just chill. Sasha liked that he was as honest as he was, and as willing to share these stories as he was.

Sasha listened intently and when Javus was finished speaking, he looked to him for a moment.

"I screwed up the other day." He finally admitted, ready to talk about what it was that was bothering him.

"I wasnt thinking and I agreed to something with a jedi that I should have." His eyes flickered to his beer, there was disgust and shame written all over his face as he reached for his beer and took a good slug of it.

"Lady Vader didnt think that was such a great idea." He added, a wry smirk on his face. He didnt either - now that it was a bit late to actually think about it - for the action had been done.

"And...she's forgiven me for it." He didnt add that he'd paid quite a price for her forgiveness. "But it still bothers me..." He added, his voice carrying the concern that he felt.

"I really screwed up." He added, shaking his had and sighing.

[Javus Parr]

(Javus nodded his head thoutfully.)

So you got in trouble with the boss too, huh?

(He slapped the kid on the shoulder good naturedly, a big smile spreading across his face.)

Well, look on the bright side, kid... you're alive. And like you said, Lady Vader forgave ya.

(He shrugged.)

We all make mistakes. You just have to make sure you learn from those mistakes and never do them again. And sometimes, you have to learn the hard way, but you do learn.

It's part of life.

(With that, he took another bite from his burger, enjoying life as it was.)

[SashaKovalev]

The kid finally began to lighten up.

"Oh I learned from it alright." He replied. And he wouldnt be making a mistake like that ever again.

He grinned.

"Does that mean you're going to give me a chance to fly this baby...I mean, if we all make mistakes and need to learn from them...."

[Javus Parr]

(Javus burst out laughing, nearly joking on the last few bites of his burger.)

Ok, kid, lets not get cocky now! You just got away from a near sticky situation. Lets try to live to tomorrow, hmm?

(He winked at the boy and finished off his burger in one last swift bite. Around the mouthful, he spoke.)

I said you could use the flight sims when the pilots weren't. Let's take one step at a time and take it from there.

(He noticed the young Sith was low on his ale, and waved at the bar tender over.)

Another round for the kid, Dirk, and bring me one for myself. We got some livin to celebrate to.

[SashaKovalev]

Sasha laughed. If he had lived through his last mistake, he didnt figure he was going to be dying anytime soon. Not that he took life lightly, but with the fact that he was lucky to still have his life, and the fact that he had a new hand to get used to, he wasnt going to be getting himself into anything all that risky anytime soon.

But the flight simulators...he was looking forward to getting that chance.

He finished his drink and pushed his second pint glass aside as the third was delivered. This would be his last for right now, lest his judgment begin to be a bit altered.

"How'd you learn to fly?" He asked.

"Your father?" He guessed, for Javus had mentioned the guy.

[Javus Parr]

(Javus shook his head.)

Nope. My father was a business man, running the family business.

I learned my flying from my uncle; my mother's brother. He lived only a few blocks from where we were stationed, and I'd go over and he'd teach me how to fly.

(He took a swig of his ale, and then continued.)

He was part of the Imperial Navy, serving in the training of pilots. He musta trained dozens upon dozens of pilots. And that was when I got my first taste of flying, and basically when I made the decision to join the Imperial Navy.

[SashaKovalev]

sasha nodded slowly, feeling somewhat jealous of the fact that Javus had leanred to fly from his uncle. He wished he'd had someone like that to look up to when he was growing up. Most of his friends had joined the Imperial Navy, and he half wondered if he would have made a different choice for his life had he had some sort of direction. And he realized, for the first time in his life, that he wasnt as angry about not having a father. Somehow, the man who had given him life, had given him a family - a Sith family.

"Did it take you long to learn?" He asked curiously, for he really was quite interested in learning to fly.

"How'd he teach you?" He asked, wondering if Javus had learned the old fashioned way - using a real ship, or by simulators.

[Javus Parr]

(Javus shifted in his seat to look at the young man.)

It's not so much that it took a long time. I had to really be patient with myself. It requires quite a bit of concentration; memorizing the layout of the console, memorizing what buttons do what, raise the landing gear after so much height off the ground, how to operate hyperdrives. There's a lot involved.

(He took another swig of his ale before continuing.)

As for how my uncle taught me, he basically did what I'm gonna allow you to do: he threw me into a flight simulator. Just like i had my uncle to show me what to do, you'll have some awesome pilots show you what to do.

(He nudged the boy with an elbow.)

And I might just popped in every now and then to see how you're doing and give ya some pointers in my spare time.

[SashaKovalev]

Sasha sighed softly. Everything took patience. Everything.

"Well I can memorize. And I can concentrate just fine." He replied quickly, trying to assure Javus he was perfectly capable of learning to fly.

"Even ask my old master, or Lady Vader..." He added. But then he grinned when he realized he was going to get the chance.

He even let out a whoop of excitement. He was, afterall, still a kid, and he'd been wanting to know how to fly for quite some time now.

"You're really going to let me?" He asked excitedly.

"When do I get to try it? Im gonna be a hell of a pilot, you just wait." He stated with the cockiness of a teenager who thinks they know it all.

[Javus Parr]

(Javus laughed.)

I'm sure you will make a good pilot. I'll see to that.

(He drank some more of his ale.)

And I'll see about scheduling some time for ya with the pilots on the sim level near the hangar. I'm sure they'd love to have a little prodige.

[SashaKovalev]

Sasha's cheeks flushed slightly. A little protege. He hated being so young sometimes. At eighteen, he felt like an adult, but everyone still treated him as a kid. He'd show them. He would. He show them he wasnt just a kid.

"This afternoon, maybe?" He pressed, not impolitely, but out of excitement at the prospect.

"Surely you dont have to keep a constant eye on things....you said yourself before you've got the best security there is. And besides, I'm sure the order would want me to learn to fly...they'd thank you for teaching me." He added, his voice slightly convincing as he spoke, an impish expression on his face.

[Javus Parr]

(Javus laughed.)

Sure, why not? Just go to the pilot's lounge this afternoon and I'll have the flight captain tend to ya.

(He watched as Sasha's grin widened even more, making him laugh harder.)

Kid! You keep smiling like that and you'll end up splitting your face in two!

(He stood, finishing off the last of the ale.)

I should get back to the bridge. You take care of yourself, kid. I'll catch ya on my off hours.

(He gave Sasha a comradly slap on the back, then thanking Dirk for lunch, he left the bar to continue his duties.)

[SashaKovalev]

Sasha for once didnt care that Javus was laughing at him. He was going to learn to fly - beginning this afternoon.

"I'll be there. I'll go right to the pilots lounge." He responded. And he would, as soon as he could calm down enough that he wouldnt look like such a kid. He wanted them to take him seriously.

"Thanks, Mr. Parr." He offered at the friendly slap on the back.

He grinned as the commander headed off to resume his duties.

And then a few moments later, his excitement concealed behind a rather serious expression, he headed off in search of the plots lounge.