Paths and choices... (Open)

[Alera Starreyes]

Once upon a year gone by
She saw herself give in
Every time she closed her eyes
She saw what could have been...
As darkness quickly steals the light
That shined within her eyes
She slowly swallows all her fear and
Soothes her mind with lies
Well all she wants and all she needs
Are reasons to survive...
And it's one more day in paradise
One last chance to feel all right...

The young woman sat on the cold ground, hugging her knees, tears streaming down her face. Silent sobs shook her shoulders.
It was night on this strange planet. It was all but devoid of life, mostly barren wasteland. The place suited Alera's mood well.
She looked to the sky. It was cloudy, and few stars were visible. There was no moon at all. Shivering, she pulled her midnight blue cloak tighter around herself. It didn't help. The cold was inside her now.
Emotions cascaded through the former Jedi like a waterfall. Pain, sorrow, fear, self-loathing, resentment, anger, loneliness... she almost couldn't take it.
It had happened again.
Alera closed her eyes, shivering from cold and fear, and wishing things were different...

[Dios Kane]

:: Dios had been walking around. He didn't know really where he was but after he left a bar from drinking he never kept track. As he was walking he saw a woman sitting by herself. He didnt know where he was so he figured she didn't either.::
Excuse me... are you lost?
:: He could feel... other things coming from her, not exactly warm ones but talking could usually help that kind of thing.::

[Alera Starreyes]

Alera might have been surprised if she wasn't so miserable. She turned her head to look at Dios, the silent tears still glimmering on her face. Her ice blue eyes conveyed an immense sadness as she looked the man over. "You could say that," she finally said softly, her voice hoarse. "Who are you?"

(ooc: TTT)

[Dios Kane]

Me? Dunno, I guess I'm Dios Kane. Who are you? You look sad.
:: Dios hadn't wanted to be so blunt as he sat down next to her but the drink had done a lot and it seemed to have flushed his silver tongue down the drunk toilet. He let the blood rush to his head for a moment as the drunk feeling started to fade. Much better, there wasn't a halo on anymore of the stars in the sky.::
Sorry, I can say a lot of things. What's wrong?

[Alera Starreyes]

Alera got to her feet slowly. "So many things are wrong... so many things seem wrong but may be right... so many things right seem wrong... I'm not even sure what's really right anymore..." Shaking her head slightly to shake her dark hair out of her eyes, she said softly, "Who am I, I wonder? I am called Alera Elenedui... but a name is something different from a person." She bit her lip, trying to keep herself from crying again.

[Dios Kane]

:: Dios stood there trying to think of something helpful to say. She had been hurt deeply and he didn't know how but he knew that much.::
Names are something people choose for themselves or a title bestowed upon them for doing something. A person... a person is seen by what they do.

[Alera Starreyes]

Alera nodded slightly. "Yes." She said softly, almost a whisper.
She was beginning to have doubts if she could live up to her name.
"I'm scared," she said, even softer. She found herself wanting, needing to talk about it... but she couldn't find the words. "I've... done something... terrible." Again, she added silently. How many times did this make now? Four? Too many. She shivered, tears starting again. "I don't know who... what I am anymore."

[Dios Kane]

:: Dios looked her up and down.::
You're a who trust me, a what couldn't cry about a problem. Not to open in anything that might cause more pain, what did you do?

[Alera Starreyes]

She closed her eyes. "I lost control again." Alera said quietly. "I was trying to help someone... but I ended up losing control of myself... my feelings... I don't know how many I ended up killing, but..." she put her face in her hands, sobbing openly. "Oh God..." Sometimes I wish I'd never been born, she thought.

[Dios Kane]

:: Dios knew about the losing conrtol thing. He had a while back to the darkside. And he had done some damage to.::
What exactly did you do?

[Alera Starreyes]

Alera sighed, trying to regain some measure of control over herself. When at last she thought she could speak coherently, she said, "I was trying to stop a man who I knew was planning on murdering someone. I was chasing him through the city, at night. I don't know for how long, but it was a long time. My anger was building up pretty strongly, but I was able to keep it in check... until... he ran into a bar to try and lose me. From what it sounded like, he'd moved something heavy in front of the door." She took a deep breath. "I used the Force to blast the door open. I forgot about the other people inside... ironically, the man I was trying to stop escaped." She closed her eyes. "I used to be a Jedi, you know." She said softly. "But my problems with control... I didn't want to hurt anyone. So I quit. But I wanted to keep helping people... so I've been trying to do what I've always done, just not as a Jedi. But it's... it hasn't been working to well." She bit her lip, shivering. "Maybe I should've just been a Sith," she whispered. "At least then..." she trailed off, then shook her head. "I just don't know anymore."

[Dios Kane]

:: Dios shook his head.::
I have to disagree with you there. Sith don't feel remorse for their actions half the time. And most don't cry over it. It doesn't matter what you did if you lost control. It sounds like something that couldn't be helped. If then, it's not entirely your fault. Look to the source and beggining of your problem, then slowly work you way through it. Redemption's not an easy thing to come by. Life can suck ya know, but trying to do good things can be hard, because it's easier to be evil and just not do what is right. At least you tried.
:: Dios was trying to speak from his heart here. He didn't know if what he had said would make much sense but he hoped it would be good enough for now.::

[Wraith Frostmourne]

"I completely understand where you are coming from, Dios," as Wraith walks in and secludes himself in a dark corner. "Yet, I do not understand why you say it. You are not a Sith or of Sith heritage. You are of the GJO, are you not?" Wraith then contemplates, prying into Dios's mind, trying to find the answer. Maybe there is some hidden evil within, he says to himself. All they see is his icy blue breath. Dios shivers, as he feels the icy presence of this unknown character. Wraith realizes he is no match for Dios, but is intrigued by this conversation.

[Dios Kane]

:: Dios felt the presence in his mind like a statue carved out of ice. He had no counter measure for this kind of intrusion other than just clearing his mind and letting the force flow. He sensed a dark entity behind him. He shivered as he felt a slight breath of wind go by.::
I'm surprised a sith would even understand what I said.
:: Dios tried to ignore the cold man behind him. He worried more over the woman next to him that seemed to need some kind of help.::

[Wraith Frostmourne]

Wraith delved even deeper into Dios's mind, trying to find the answer to the question that confused him so. "Apart from trying to enslave new victims, I have Talus to watch over things at my ship for a while. We got things straightened up. Now that I have some side time, I am going to try and find some rogue Sith training. Once I find out where this inner evil in you is, I will unlock it. Maybe you will even consider joining me in my quest." Wraith face made a smirk with enjoyment.

[Dios Kane]

:: Dios waved the sith off::
You're wastin your time, I believe that I have no inner evil. And if it's a quest to a bar, maybe I'll join you later, but the lady deserves a bit of attention right now. You later.
:: Dios didn't like the way this sith spoke about inner evils. He had dealt with his already, they had already been dealt with. Joining this icy sith would not be one of Dios' preffered things to do.::

[Wraith Frostmourne]

"I don not care about what emotional scars you or the girl have spoken of or concealed. If you were in your right mind you would listen to me. Bringing out the darkside in someone is the easiest way to go, as you spoke of, believe me, I know. I have no time for games, but I belive we'll be meeting again in the future, Dios." And with a grunt, Wraith stalked out of the room, the chilling winds went with him.

[Dios Kane]

Ignore that.
:: Dios hoped the woman wasn't as shooken up by the icy man as he was::

[Sukura Carme]

--Sukura watched the three, her silent bright blue, pupiless eyes taking in their actions. The Sith...Yes he was cold. Colder than she. And the girl she was broken inside or atleast felt it. Sukura was broken...shattered rather but those things were in the past where they should have been.--

"Now, now Dios, Sith feel remorse..."

--Sukura flashed behind him, her hot breath hitting against the flesh on the back of his neck, setting his hair on a stand--

"Atleast I do, I'm not really meant to be a Sith, But part of me seems to enjoy the utter pain I dish out to the most unfortunate...'

--A wicked grin danced over her lips but quickly vanished, her whole personality changing in the blink of an eye--

"That Sith..." --Sukura pointed to the man who had just stalked off-- "He knows nothing but hate and lust and the need for power. He has no right to say what and what should not be brought out in people, Because he doesn't know what's been brought out of him, Himself..."

--Sukura eyes flickered over to the girl, she could see right through her. She had hurt people, she had felt guilt. Her emptyness was getting to her. Her pain, she felt like nothing or so it seemed.--

"You shouldn't be a Sith anywho, Girl..."

--Sukura's voice sounded from her throat turning into a slight growl, her animal like behavior getting the best of her--

"If you were, you'd be one of the few Sith with a conscience and you'd get beat down for that as I do. You don't want to be a Sith, Love."

[Alera Starreyes]

Alera nodded. "Thank you," she said quietly. The young woman looked up at the dark sky, searching for the stars. Now none were visible. Another tear ran down her face. "I don't want to hurt anyone anymore," she said softly, voice wavering.