The Worst Babysitter

[Sanis Prent]

(Another morning on Arcan IV, and I was out the door again, locking up my temporary residence as I headed to the bar and grill. A few loose ends to tie up, and I'd be headed to Malastare for other business. It didn't matter to me. Layla was my mobile office, my mobile home. Wherever I roamed, I felt like I belonged. It was one of the benefits of having put down the lightest of roots in my most frequent haunts.

Arriving downstairs, I ordered a plate of scrambled eggs and some dewback bacon, reading up on some local holonews)

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

hop hop hop hop Daanarri hopped down the stairs, taking them two at a time. Saa never let her do this. Ever! She stumbled on the last step, and flew through the doorway, sprawling out in the middle of the floor of the bar.

"Ow!" She mewled, and struggled to her feet. "Sssanjisss!" Daani scampered over to him. "Whatcha doojing?" She peered at the holovids, and her hand snaked out towards the bacon on his plate.

[Sanis Prent]

(I glanced down at the hyperactive bundle of energy that had tumbled in my general direction. I sighed. It was too early in the morning to deal with a Cizerack rugrat. Couldn't they keep their kids on a leash? Finishing applying a drizzle of hot sauce to my eggs, I put the holo down.)

Just reading the news....HEY!

(It was too late, as Daani had inhaled two strips of bacon and another had half-disappered in her hungry mouth. I sat there, my mouth fixed...ready to spray forth a string of expletives, as I would have for any other person. But the rules changed with kids. I didn't wanna curse in front of Daani. Assuming there was any morality in Cizerack parenting, I'd be on somebody's hate list pretty damn fast, and it wouldn't do much to shine my already-tarnished image. So as each curse word came to the tip of my tongue, I snapped it shut...stopping several words before they even started, and just ended up muttering gibberish under my breath.)

...thats my breakfast, Daani! Don't your parents feed you?

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

She looked up at the forrda male mournfully. "No. My parents don't want me." Daani wormed her way onto the seat next to him, making him move over a little. "Saa said that you ate weak food! She said it wasn't good for a Cizerack to eat like you."

The impestuous girl looked at the eggs, and wrinkled her nose. "I think she's right. What is that?" She poked the eggs with a finger and then retreated quickly.

[Sanis Prent]

Its scrambled eggs, with cheese and hot sauce. They're gr...

(I paused...smiling in a sly manner as I looked down to Daani. No harm in taking advantage of of naive perceptions...especially if it meant I could eat in peace.)

...very bad for Cizerack! So only us forrda can eat them.

(My demeanor became mock-serious)

I eat alot of stuff like that.

[Saarrreeaa Meorrrei]

Saarrreeaa walked into the bar, looking for Taataani. Wherrre jisss that woman! Mother or no, she was never around when she was needed, and always there when she wasn't wanted.

"Sssanjisss!" She waved to him from across the room, and hurried over. "Oh, jyou have Daanji. Have jyou ssseen mjy motherrr? jI have to be awajy forrr a week -" she bent down and kissed him on the mouth, tasting the spiciness from the food he was eating " - and jI have to leave Daanji wjith herrr."

"Hji Daanji." The little girl grinned, and then gave Sanis's plate a worried look. Saa knew better than to ask why.

[Sanis Prent]

(I gave a nervous smile)

Your mother? Uh...no...can't say I have...

(...and couldn't say I wanted to. A level-headed Cizerack was enough. One that was a bit too eccentric and half-fallen from the apple cart was another. A Kowakian Monkey-Lizard would make a more stable parent than Taataani, though I couldn't deny there was love there. Really messed up love, but it was there.

Absentmindedly, I pulled another piece of bacon from my plate, handing it down to the dirty-faced imp hopping beside me.)

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani gobbled up the piece of bacon, and snuggled against Sanis' side, looking up at Saarrreeaa. Saa was loud and nervous. She made funny noises in the night with Sanis, and sometimes Cirr, but Daani didn't much care. She liked listening.

She pointed behind Saa. "Therrre ssshe jisss. Comjing thjiss way!" Daani dove under the table, and crawled over Sanis' legs to the other side of the table, hiding from her psuedo-aunt.

[Taataani Meorrrei]

A mock-scolding voice sounded from behind Saa

jYou know that jI'm alwajysss dojing aerrrobjicsss on Tuesssdajy morrrnjing, Sssaarrrrrreeaa! Rrrealljy, jyou ssshould rrrememberrr jI keep a busssjy ssschedule!

She grinned widely, adjusting her glasses as she tossed her lightly-sweaty hair back, adjusting the bustline of her workout suit. In the same moment, she caught sight of Sanis, grinning at him luridly.

And jI'm sssurrre that jyou could put Sssanjisss to worrrk forrr jyou jif jyou can't rrrememberrr. Forrr heaven'sss sssake...whjy even have a manssserrrvant jif jyou don't ussse hjim? jI mean...he looksss qujite able.

[Saarrreeaa Meorrrei]

Saa smiled a little, tiny smile. "jI'm sssurrre Sssanjisss would have rrreminded me jin a moment, Motherrr. But jI jussst needed to let jyou know jI have to go to Corrrussscant on bujisssjinessssss. jI can't take Daanji wjith me. Ssso jI'm gojing to leave herrr wjith jyou forrr the week, allrrrjight Motherrr?"

She brushed blonde hair out of her eyes, and tried not to stand too close to her sweaty mother. Where had Daani gotten to now?

[Taataani Meorrrei]

Taa's mouth was half-buried in a whole tuna when her daughter broke the news. Eyes widening, Taa vehemently shook her head as she swallowed, slapping her half-eaten breakfast on the table next to Sanis

Daughterrr...need jI rrremjind jyou that jI'm headed to jIthorrr todajy! jI have a wonderrrful tjime planned at a health ssspa, and jI jussst can't keep up wjith Daanji therrre. Besssjidesss, therrre'sss nothjing forrr herrr to do therrre, ssso that jussst won't worrrk.

She arched an eyebrow, her blue eyes turning to the seated hyuu-mann manservant.

hmmm....

She grinned toothily.

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani looked over Sanis' legs at the two females, and then peered up at him as they both regarded him. He looked a little worried.

She reached her hand up and snagged the last bit of bacon out of his hand, and then brought it down to her hungry mouth.

[Saarrreeaa Meorrrei]

Saa looked from her mother to Sanis, and then back to Taa. "Sssanjisss? Sssanjisss?!" She threw up her hands, "jI doubt that he - but..."

She trailed off. It was the only choice. "Sssanjisss, could jyou watch Daanji thjisss week? Therrre jisssn't anjyplace else forrr herrr to go. Pleassse? Cjirrr can't be trrrusssted wjith herrr, he'd leave herrr at one of hjisss boxjing matchesss and then who knowsss wherrre ssshe'd end up." Her eyes emplored him.

"Sssaa would fljip herrr ljid jif ssshe sssaw Daanji, orrr elssse jI'd take herrr wjith me." Saa walked closed and kissed him again, anticipating his yes.

[Taataani Meorrrei]

jYesss Sssanjisss, do thjisss forrr me and Sssaarrrrrreeaa. We'rrre both verrrjy busssjy women, and jI'm sssurrre jyou've got nothjing betterrr to do anjywajysss.

Her ears perked up, as she changed her approach with a smile.

Besssjidesss....jyou'll harrrdljy even know ssshe'sss therrre. Ssshe'sss verrrjy well behaved!

She laughed nervously.

[Sanis Prent]

(I could see what was happening here. I was born at night, but not last night, and I could tell when I was being set up. My eyes flitted desperately between Saa, Taa, and little Daani. Suddenly, my face looked aghast.)

....no....I...uh....

(Dammit!)

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani crawled up onto the bench seat beside the funny male, and smiled. "jI'd love to ssstajy wjith jyou! Majybe jyou can teach me how to fljy jyourrr shjip!" She leaned closer, and whispered mournfully. "Thejy neverrr let me do anjythjing fun."

Her tummy growled, and Daani reached for the half eaten tuna Taa had left on the table.

[Sanis Prent]

(I just sat there with my mouth agape, staring at Saa with a "How could you do this to me" look in my eyes, as the remains of the tuna slid off the table and into the little Cizerack hellion's clutches)

[Saarrreeaa Meorrrei]

Saa was looking at her chrono. "Mjy trrransssporrrt jisss leavjing. Rrrememberrr, jI'm gojing to smooth thjingsss overrr wjith Sssasssssseerrrji. jI know that the Da Soocha job went well, but ssshe'sss ssstjill upssset about Kessssssel." A brief, worried look flitted across her face.

"jI jussst hope jI make jit back jin one pjiece." Saa grinned cheesily, trying to make a joke out of a bad situation. "Anjywajy, jI do have to go, and jI am sssorrrrrrjy, Sssanjisss. But thank jyou." She kissed him passionately on the lips... long enough to make passers-by wonder if they were going to get a room.

Then with a pat on the head to Daani, and a peck on the cheek to her mother, Saarrreeaa dashed out the door, Cirr trundling along behind with her bags.

[Taataani Meorrrei]

Taa couldn't help but laugh. Sanis looked absolutely overwhelmed. If Saa had made him a more traditional mate, he would know how to take care of such things already. Sometimes you had to learn the hard way. She patted him a bit forcefully on the head, smiling widely as she did.

Don't be ssso upssset, Sssanjisss! Jussst thjink, jyou'rrre dojing Sssaa a favorrr.

She winked.

And dojing me a favorrr, too. And jI alwajysss make sssurrre to rrrepajy favorrrsss done forrr me.

She licked her lips in a lewd manner, but suddenly realized the predicament she was in again. She had to keep a distance from her daughter's catches. She smiled nervously, her ears lowering, then fluttering as she gathered up her things.

Well anjywajysss, jI mussst be gojing now! Bjye bjye, Sssanjisss! Have fun!

She laughed all the way out.

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani waved energetically to her aunt and 'sister,' nearly upsetting Sanis' cup of caf in the process. Her ears flattened as the cup rattled around, and she sank back into the seat.

"Arrre jyou gojing to take carrre of me? What arrre we gojing to do todajy?" By the end of the sentance her ears were cocked forward and she was practically crawling into Sanis' lap.

[Sanis Prent]

(I glanced down to Daani, feeling the blood drain from my face.)

Okay. We're going to Malastare. I've got things to do, and I don't need you to mess anything up. We're going to my ship, and then we're out of here.

(I finished whatever portions of my breakfast that hadn't found their way into Daani's mouth. Gulping down a mouthful of cold, bitter caf, I stood up, chasing my caf with a long nip from my flask.)

I hope you feel like a nap.

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani sat quietly watching him finish his meal, and then scooted off the edge of the booth after him. "Malassstarrre? Wherrre jisss that? jIsss jis betterrr than Arrrcan? jIsss jit prrrettjierrr than Carrrssshouljisss? Have jyou been therrre beforrre? Whatsss jyourrr ssshjip ljike?"

She scampered after him as he walked quickly out of the bar, snatching some fruit off of someone's table as she passed. Tossing it in the air and catching it, she scurried to catch up with Sanis. "Wajit forrr me! Do jI need to brrrjing mjy toothbrrrusssh?" She juggled the fruit, dropping one near Sanis' foot.

[Sanis Prent]

You brush your teeth?

(I muttered under my breath, as I walked ahead of her. I exited the bar, grabbing my gear on the way out. The idea of carrying the little kid around was a bit like trying to fix a repulsor drive with a mallet. I was ill equipped for the job.

I smiled...maybe I could put her knocked out in a stasis pod. Then again...maybe not. Unless I put candy in there...)

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

She shrugged. "Sssometjimesss...when jI rrrememberrr to." Daani had to take two steps for every one of Sanis' and she was hard pressed to keep up. Not that she minded.

Daani ate the fruit that was in her hand, leaving a red juicy smear on her cheeks and lips. "jIsss jit farrr?"

[Sanis Prent]

(I pointed to an elongated building down the road.)

The hangar's over there.

(Reaching into my pocket, I removed a pink cyllinder, tapping it on the side twice. As I did so, the cyllinder came to life, "eyes" and appendiges coming online)

Marcus...open the bay doors, and warm up the preflight.

(My voice lowered)

And...whatever you can stow or bolt down, get it done. We're gonna have a passenger.

[Marcus v4]

Marcus' visual receptors zoomed on Sanis' face.

Of course, Sanis. The milk in the refridgerator is two days past expiration. I will include it in the garbage.

He paused, processor's whirring

Then again, perhaps I can include it in Roddy's dietary supplement. Your dog is quite a garbage disposal. What species did you say it was again?

Once more, he paused.

Will your guest be requiring any special needs?

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

"Cookjiesss! jI'll need lotss of cookjiesss. And candjy." Daani grabbed Sanis' beltloop on the side so she would be able to keep up with him. She smiled sweetly up at the forrrda male, who was ignoring her as much as he could.

Something caught her eye, and her fingers released the beltloop. She walked beside Sanis for a few more steps, and then dashed off to look at what had caught her eye. She wouldn't go too far....

[Sanis Prent]

Well I have a dozen doughnuts and....HEY!

(She was gone in a dash, weaving between the legs of a few dozen passing pedestrians. Cursing, I ran off after her, having a much harder time of getting past the people on the street. When I caught up to her, she had found a half-eaten, squashed, and rather nasty looking remnant of a candy bar. She picked it up with her grubby fingers, leaving stringets of caramel stuck to the pavement, as well as bits of pebble sunk into the chocolate. Before I could pry it from her hand, she shoved the whole half-melted mess into her mouth.)

Agh frell! Spit that out now. You don't even know where its been!

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

The little girl, shocked at Sanis' bizarre reaction, opened her mouth and put her tongue out, letting the half chewed chocolate caramel drip out of her mouth. It plopped to the duracrete in front of her.

"Ewww!" She spit out a bit of grit, and wiped her mouth on her sleeve. "That djidn't tassste asss good asss jI thought jit would." She slipped a tiny hand into Sanis' and stood beside him quietly. "Ssship now?"

[Sanis Prent]

Ugh!

(She'd half gotten the gooey mess off her mouth, and half deposited it all over her hand, which now grasped mine. I begrudgingly held her chocolate-stained hand, pulling her along toward the ship)

Yeah...we're going, we're going.

(After a stroll, we made it to the hangar, and I led her up the gangplank, sitting her on a loveseat in the middle deck, while I went to the refresher to clean the melted chocolate from my hand)

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani sat quietly on the seat for a moment, and then hopped to her feet, looking around the room she found herself inside. Sanis was washing his hands in the 'fresher, and she energetically wiped her hands on her dress.

There was a little pink thing on a table...she hopped over, and flicked it with her tail. Two lights glowed, and it made a peeping sound. Daani bent towards it, and reached out a grubby paw. "Arrre jyou talkjing?"

[Marcus v4]

Aware of the approaching hand, Marcus skittered back slightly

If you are asking whether I am capable of vocal synthesis and communication, then yes, I am talking.

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani tucked her hands into the pockets in front of her dress. "jYou ussse bjig worrrdsss." She turned her back on the pink thing, and found the holochess table. Excited, she pulled herself into a seat, and switched it on.

Holographic monsters loomed above the circular playing area, and she giggled, waving her hand through the holograms.

[Sanis Prent]

(Exiting the refresher, I turned a cautious eye to Daani. She appeared to be talking with Marcus. That was a relief. Maybe he could play babysitter, while I tended to more important matters.)

Marcus, keep an eye on her. I'm releasing moorings, and we're outta here.

(With that, I was up the ladder to the pilot chamber)

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Moving a few of the pieces, using the buttons on the side of the table, Daani laughed uproariously as a large monster chomped on a smaller one.

Accidentally she pressed the off button, and all the creatures disappeared. She gasped, and her features crinkled into a little sad expression. Then Daani hopped down and started exploring.

She found her way into Sanis' bedroom, and started bouncing on his bed. It was covered with clothes and smelled a little strange. Something on the floor caught her eye, and she hopped over and picked up a magazine. Inside were lots of fems in various...hmmmm.... Daani flipped some more pages. Did all forrrda women do that??

[Marcus v4]

That is not appropriate for young children.

Marcus skittered toward the bed, visual receptors locking onto the magazine she held.

[Sanis Prent]

(Engaging repulsordrive and maneuvering thrusters, I released the mag moorings, angling Layla skyward. Smiling to myself, I cranked up some music. Marcus would be a much better babysitter than I would. I let the music relax my agitated nerves, accelerating into the Arcanian stratosphere once I had gained clearance.)

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani dropped the magazine in surprise, and then fell off the bed with a thump, landing on her feet, on top of the magazine she'd just dropped. Pages ripped, and her eyes grew wide with alarm. Quickly she shoved it underneath the bed.

"jIsss therrre anjythjing jin herrre that jI can plajy wjith? On the ssshjip?" Daani picked up the little droid, and held him with both hands at eye level.

[Marcus v4]

Marcus allowed her to pick him up, passing the time by running an olfactory analysis of the young Cizerack's exhalations. There was a 87.4% probability that she had ingested significant quantities of high-fructose snack foods, as well as portions of raw fish and rodentia of an unidentifiable origin. It was interesting enough to log for further examination. Marcus didn't forget about her question, however.

I am programmed with several educational forms of entertainment, designed to build memory and improve critical thinking skills. Would you be interested in activating one in particular?

[Roddy Two]

A muted growl comes from the nearby closet, as a shoe goes flying out...

rrrrrrr....

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

As the closet growled, Daani dropped the droid onto the rumpled bed. She crept closer to the closet, and ducked as a second shoe came flying in her direction. "Hello? jIsss sssomeone jin therrre?"

The little Cizerack looked around the corner of the door and into the closet.

[Roddy Two]

A growly, yet squeaky sound replied from the closet, crudely imitating Daani's speech.

H-ha...Eeeh-loooooowww...

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

She jerked back, and fell on her haunches in surprise at the sound emanating from the closet.

"Who arrre jyou?"

[Roddy Two]

A six-legged creature with blue fur scurries out of the closet. It stops immediately in front of Daani, sitting upright as it takes her in with its large dark eyes. Its ears perk up, and its antennae twitch, as does its nubby tail

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

She stared back at the forrda. Was it good to eat?

Daani reached out with one hand to poke it, and then the ship accelerrated into hyperdrive, sending her flying into the little blue thing and both of them back into the closet. She squealed and her tail thrashed around as she righted herself, making a mess of clothes and shoes alike.

[Roddy Two]

EEEE!!!

Roddy tumbled back along with Daani, eventually wheezing as she fell on top of him. His ears flopped to the ground, and he looked on the whole, rather trodden on.

wurf wurf...

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani scrambled back away from the forrrda. Then she reached out and lifted away a pair of boxers that were draped over the creatures head. "Arrre jyou okajy?"

[Roddy Two]

The creature slowly looked over himself, as if regarding its own form for the first time. Then, it seemed to smile, tongue lolling out of its mouth.

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

She giggled. "jI don't thjink jyou'rrre good to eat. Arrre jyou?" Daani poked the creature in one of its arms. "jYou'rrre a ljittle scrrrawnjy forrr food." She giggled again.

[Marcus v4]

Several Marcus modules skittered inbetween Daani and Roddy. One became the "spokesperson", turning to Daani in an effort to lead her away from the blue monstrosity.

Please stay away from the....dog. It is dangerous.

Another module chimed in

It hasn't had all of its shots.

Another module extended a spark zapper toward Roddy, posturing to use it if the creature acted rashly.

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani squealed and dashed out of the room, running up the passageway, until she burst into the cockpit. But inside the cockput was another little pink droid. They were everywhere!

She screeched, and leapt at Sanis. "Thejy'rrre trrrjying to hurrrt the dog!!"

[Sanis Prent]

The dog?

(I turned to her, not sure what she meant. I momentarily adjusted course, preparing the ship for hyperspace. Then...it clicked, and my eyes went wide.)

Roddy??!!

(I looked her over, suddenly concerned.)

He didn't bite, claw, or do anything else to you, did he?

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani stopped at his sudden questions. "No." She eyed him oddly. "But that...thossse pjink thjingsss arrre gojing to hurrrt hjim!"

She tugged on his sleeve, eyes full of concern for the blue forrrda. "Ssstop them!!"

[Sanis Prent]

Marcus, take over the jump!

(I sprung out of my seat, pulling Daani along by the hand. Going belowdeck, I ran into the galley, scooping a jar of peanut butter out of the pantry, and a six pack of canned beer from the refridgerator. I tossed the peanut butter to the Cizerack girl, along with a wooden spoon.)

Stay back, till I say its ok.

(Leaning around the corner toward my quarters, I pulled a beer can from the plastic ring, rolling it across the floor like a grenade...)

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani hid behind Sanis' leg, peeking out from behind the cover of his thigh, ears fully forward as the can rolled into the room.

Nothing happened. She looked up at Sanis, inqusitively.

[Roddy Two]

A blue blur exploded into motion, pouncing the can in a split second. Frothy foam spewed as it bit down on the can, shaking it vigorously before snapping the entire thing up in a series of growly bites. Then, it stopped, flopping back on its haunches, dark eyes blinking as beer dripped off its face.


......

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani jerked backwards as the creature leapt into action, but found the little forrrda fascinating. She whispered up to Sanis, "What jisss jit?"

She reached forward to touch the blue furry thing.

[Roddy Two]

Allowing the young Cizerack to touch him, Roddy fell backwards on his back, staring at the ceiling. He made a sound halfway between a purr and a snort, lying otherwise still

[Sanis Prent]

Its a...uh....a....

(I scratched my head, hand reaching down to rest on Daani's blonde tuft of hair)

...Roddy. Its kinda a new species....I guess.

(I watched Daani pet the thing, half expecting her to lose the arm from the elbow down. Yet somehow, the normally spastic and hyperactife fluffball was relaxed. The beer helped, I'd learned days ago. But, it was rare to get a reaction like this.)

Wow...you certainly have a way with him.

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani giggled and skritched the roddy's tummy. "He'sss cute! Doesss Sssaa know about hjim?"

She sat back on her haunches and looked up at Sanis again. "Wherrre arrre we gojing agajin?" Roddy was making rumbly noises in his throat, like a purr. She giggled and tickled him under his chin.

[Sanis Prent]

No...and the less she does, the better!

(I closed up the fridge, keeping a lead pipe handy in case Roddy spazzed out again. Daani practically had Roddy eating out of her paw...er...hand. It was bizarre. Maybe her coming along wasn't such a bad idea after all.)

Well, we're going to Malastare. They have pod races there. Ever been to one?

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

"Pod rrracesss? No, jI've neverrr been to one!" She hopped to her feet, Roddy becoming slightly disgruntled that she had suddenly forgotten about him. "jI've ssseen them though!"

Daani pulled at the beers in his hand. "Can jI gjive hjim anotherrr one?"

[Sanis Prent]

Uh...

(I scratched my head)

One. I guess. As long as he doesn't eat you or pee on the furniture. Thats about as low-key as I've seen him in a while.

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani looked up at Sanis, puzzled. "What jiss wrrrong wjith peejing on furrrnjiturrre?" Then she giggled, smiled angelically, and darted away to play with Roddy. She hoped they got to Malassstarrrrrre..? soon.

She held out the can to the blue beast, and then set it down, sitting a little ways behind it, so she could see the eating machine in action. Somehow Roddy reminded her a little of her older brother...

[Roddy Two]

Roddy leaned forward, sniffing the can cautiously. Suddenly, he was all teeth, snapping up the can in a quick bite. As he chomped down, foam spurted out the sides of his stuffed mouth as he crunched it up. Finally, Roddy managed to get the can down, swallowing it as he wiggled around on the ground. He sat up, blinking at Daani, and burped. Then, he leaned to the side, and coughed up a neatly compressed beer can, amidst a sheen of phlegm. Snuffling, Roddy tucked his hind legs into his mouth, and rolled backwards into Daani's lap.

[Daanarri Raurrssaatta]

Daani giggled and ruffled his hair. "He'sss cute!" With her other paw she flicked the regurgitated can away.