Lost at Sea

[Gia Van Derveld]

I walked down the dirty street, from the tiny room I rented on Arcan IV. My credits were running out fast, but still I spent what little I had down the street at the Bar and Grill. It was just a hole in the wall joint, but lively.

And the rum wasn't too expensive.

Brushing my long dark hair out of my light blue eyes, I pushed the door open, and avoided the gaze of the guard. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked to the bar and straddled a stool. The 'tender walked over to me, Bisel, I think his name was.

"Gia...here again?" He was wiping out a glass.

"Yeah." My head ached. "The usual."

"This isn't healthy. You know, I shouldn't discourage you from buying, but honestly, you need to -"

I stared at the man, trying not to cringe away from his gaze. "Please. Just give me a glass. I'll only have one."

He sighed, and poured me a glass of rum. I took the drink and retreated to a far table. Whenever I sobered up, the memories came back. I tipped the drink back, letting release touch my tongue. Gonna need more than one...

[imported_Akrabbim]

He watches her enter the bar yet again. She's been here almost daily for the last month. Every day it's the same. She drinks till she runs out of money, then begs for a little more... all to ease the pain. His skill as an illusionist affords him a large degree of telepathy, but her pain is so strong that he almost doesn't need it. Without even trying, he can sense a face, a face of someone close to her. Or one who used to be. He quietly joins her at the bar. He stares straight ahead, not looking at her.

This won't fix it, you know. It never does. It's meaningless to do this to yourself.

He reaches into her mind and draws out the man's face. A husband perhaps? He creates an illusion of the face on the bar surface. He turns toward her.

It's him, isn't it? Is he the reason you've been trying to kill yourself with rum day in and day out? Maybe I can help.

[Marcus Telcontar]

At the other end of the bar, a lone Jedi Master watched without comment or expression on his face

[Gia Van Derveld]

My hand shook as I slammed the glass down, spilling alchohol all over the table top. "I- I...don't know what you're talking about." I licked my fingers, and a serving droid trundled up to clean up the mess on my table. "Frell it!"

I'd nicked my finger on the glass..apparently there had been an edge of glass there. I squeezed it, letting the red blood well up. "Meaninglessness is better than what I do have."

[imported_Akrabbim]

Akrabbim recoils internally at the backlash of pain. He takes her hands, holding them still so she can't retreat.

No... that's not true. Your life may be bad... but it need not stay that way. I am a Jedi. I can and will help you.

And I can also read minds. I won't delve in without your permission, but some of your thoughts are so strong it's as if they're broadcasting to me. So there's no use lying to me. What is causing your pain?

[Gia Van Derveld]

I jerked at my hands, trying to get them back. I didn't like being this close to him. Too easy for... But not all men were like Jahn.

My finger was probably bleeding on him. "I...let go of me..." My voice was almost pitiful in its timbre, and I couldn't help the tear that slipped out of my eye. I was finding it hard to breathe, as terror mounted in my chest. "Please..." I tugged at my hands once more.

[imported_Akrabbim]

He gently releases her hands.

Shhh... it's ok. I'm not going to hurt you. I want to help you. But you're going to have to open up a little.

Akrabbim brings up the image of the man's face, floating just in front of her.

Who is this man, that merely thinking of him brings you so much pain?

[Gia Van Derveld]

I closed my eyes. "He's my husband. Or, was. I don't know." I rested my face in my hands, hiding from the appariation in front of me.

I felt the cravings for glitterstim strong in my body, and wondered briefly where I'd find some tonight. It was all his damn fault. Frelling Jahn. "Please, I just want to ...to..." die.

[imported_Akrabbim]

Akrabbim dispells the image of his face. He takes hold of her shoulders and looks at her closely.

No... you don't want to die. You may think so, but your problems can be dealt with. I promise I will help you do so.

What did this man do to you? You can tell me... he can't hurt you anymore.

[Gia Van Derveld]

I look up, my light blue eyes meeting those of the Jedi. "He used to hit me. But I can't forget him, or what he did to me. And I can't...can't...." Tears welled up again in my red-rimmed eyes, and I pulled away from his touch.

"Please, don't touch me." I shrank back in my seat.

[imported_Akrabbim]

Akrabbim folds his hands in his lap.

He won't ever hit you again. That I promise. And you can't forget anything, can you? Your memories... the ones I pick up... they're too clear, too sharp... is there anything you forget? Nevermind, it doesn't matter. I'm not offering you ignorance, I'm offering you freedom from your past. Let me help you. What is it you need? If I can, I will provide it for you.

[Gia Van Derveld]

I shook my head and shrugged. "I don't know what I need. Sasseeri... she offered me oblivion and I took it. But then I only wondered what had happened to Jahn. I didn't forget him, just the bad things about him. And then I got my memories back..and ...I...I just want..."

I looked at a serving droid, and recognized something different about it. Oh no, not here. Not now. My hands were still shaking with the need for spice. Sometimes I got it here in the bar, under the noses of all these Jedi even. And it was going to happen again.

One of the droids had been altered by a dealer. This droid was approaching me. I tried to wave it away, but it chirped and handed me a drink. There was a small black package in the bottom of the glass of dark ale. It was hard to see, but it was there. I hurriedly set the glass down to the side, and blurted, "I just want to be able to get on with my life!"

[imported_Akrabbim]

Akrabbim listens to the woman's words, wondering what lies beneath her exterior. He has to find some way to help her. The obvious solution for the time is to get her to stop drinking to avoid her problems and actually face them.

For an illusionist, simple enough. Covering himself with an image of him simply sitting still, he reaches over and quietly replaces her drink with his own glass of water. As he sets her drink on the bar, he notices a small dark spot inside. Probably not your average beverage.

He drops the illusion over himself but makes the drinks appear as they were.

One thing I can tell you for sure... you'll find nothing good from dealing with Cizerack gangsters. But what is it that keeps you from going on with your life? Why do you come here to drown yourself in alcohol so frequently?

[Gia Van Derveld]

My hands shook still, and I sat on them to conceal it from the Jedi. "I have no skills. No job. I...I just don't know how to go on with life. He was everything...everything to me." I sniffed hard. "I don't even know if the marraige was legal."

I looked at the drink, and then turned to look for a droid. "Can I get some water?"

[imported_Akrabbim]

Don't worry about any of that. You have some skill. Everyone does. As for a job, there's always some odd job open here or there.

As for your marriage... you have to let it and him go. And life does go on, even without him... how does he have such a hold on you?

[Gia Van Derveld]

I sighed heavily. "I...I don't know."

Leaning back, I closed my eyes. "Just leave me alone." The droid arrived with my water, and I drank some. "I suppose with my memory I could get a few different sorts of jobs. But ...I dunno...i just don't feel like doing anything at all." I set the drink down, and pushed the other one to the side.

"I'm just a pitiful drunken spice addict. Not worth your time, Jedi." I laid my head on my arms on the table, and closed my eyes again.

[imported_Akrabbim]

Akrabbim just sits there for a moment and ponders what the woman is saying. After what seems like several minutes, he speaks.

No.

No... I will not leave you alone. And no, you are not a waste of my time. I want to help you. And I'm not going to stand idly by and watch you spiral into oblivion.

[Gia Van Derveld]

I looked up. "Why not? Want to take me in as a charity project?" My tone was bitter. Why was I pushing him away, a being who actually wanted to help me?

"What should I do?" The pitiful tone was back. Dammit. My eyes were welling up again too, and a tear slipped down my cheek.

[imported_Akrabbim]

It's not charity... I just don't like seeing people in pain... especially people who could be so much more.

As for what you should do.... well, in the abstract sense, you should look to the future and move on. In the present, practical sense, we should cheer you up. What do you do for fun?

[Gia Van Derveld]

I wiped my eyes, and sniffed hard. "I don't know." My fingers fumbled for my drink. "I'd just like to do something different. That I haven't done before."

I peered into the glass, and took a drink, intending to catch the black package in my mouth. I'd take it out later. But when I drank the liquid...it was water! I set the glass down, startled.

[imported_Akrabbim]

He chuckles slightly at her confusion, and drops the illusion.

Sorry... I can't let you have that. It won't do anything but make things worse.

But you say you're looking for something different... well, I'm not sure I can offer you anything to do that's new, but I can show you something you've never seen...

Akrabbim concentrates and conjures up an illusion. As Gia watches, four womprats cartwheel across the bar, two coming from each direction. They link arms and do the can-can for a few moments. Then, two do front flips, landing on one of the other womprat's shoulders. Finally, the last womprat jumps onto the shoulders of the top two rats. They all stick their arms out and yell, "Tada!"

How's that?

[Gia Van Derveld]

I blinked, as the creatures rolled through the bar and grill, and felt a smile creeping over my face. "Thats...amazing!" The womrats dissolve into air, and I peer at the spot where they'd been. "An illusion... I could not tell the difference."

"I know I shouldn't do glit, I'm trying to stop. But Jahn got me addicted to it. I didn't know what it was at first, I do now." I lifted my hand. "I get the shakes if I don't have it. It only gets worse from there on out." My smile faded a little. "Its eating up what credits I have." To tell the truth, I was scraping the bottom of the barrel and then some already.

[imported_Akrabbim]

Akrabbim peers at her closely.

You'll never lose another credit to this garbage. That I promise you. But for the more immediate problem... I'm afraid you'll have to let me touch you for a moment...

Before she has a chance to refuse, Akrabbim takes her head in both his hands. He delves in deep with the Force, looking for the area of her brain affected by the drug. He can sense a primal urge in a corner of her brain. He sends a signal into that area, half simulating the drug, half confusing the nerves so they don't know what to send. He slowly releases her head and addresses her.

This should work for the time. It's like giving you the drug, but there are no physical effects. I'll keep doing this until the withdrawal subsides. How do you feel?

[imported_Akrabbim]

Akrabbim sits for a moment, pondering. After several moments, he makes a decision. He stands, and places a card on the bar in front of the woman.

I fear there is little else I can do for you. On this card, there is a comm frequency you can use should you ever need to reach me. It is a secure channel, and I always keep a communicator near by. If you are ever in trouble and need help, feel free to call. But otherwise, I can't do anything to help you. I'm sorry.

Good day.