I'm bored, so you get a Fight Club question:

[Jedieb]

I'm on my summer break, it's past my bedtime, and I'm feeling frisky and off topicky. So, if you could fight any famous person, who would you fight? Feel free to name more than one.

My first fight would be with Cameron Diaz. Charlie's Angles proved she could handle herself. Plus, no matter the result, I win. Because you can bet I'd get grabby during THAT fight. :smokin

[CMJ]

So are we supposed to mean a "real" fight...or like a "fun" fight like the one you described? :)

[Jedieb]

A real fight. I just wanted to start with something fun. Actually, do both if you want.

Real Fight
Jay Leno
The whole time I'd be kicking his ass saying; "DAVE'S FUNNIER! DAVE'S FUNNIER!"

[CMJ]

Real Fight....is Arafat an option? ;)

Fun Fight....Gimme any cute redheaded girl. ;) As for a celebrity...I don't know...any attractive lady would work fine.

[Jedieb]

Cmon CMJ! I know it's late, but I expected better from YOU! I think WE may have to go a couple of rounds to get your creative juices going...

Fun fight
Yoda
Just because it would be cool to say I got my bags handed to me by an 800 year old Jedi Master.

[CMJ]

Geez man...glad to know I am respected so much by you. ;)

Hmmm fun fight....Adam Sandler...Cause I've been wanting to bitchslap that moron for years now. ;)

Nah, make that a real fight...cause I really do wanna beat that guy up. :)

[Jedieb]

Hmmm fun fight....Adam Sandler...Cause I've been wanting to bitchslap that moron for years now.

Nah, make that a real fight...cause I really do wanna beat that guy up.
:lol That's MORE like it.

But I'm tired now and I want to go to bed. I'll be dreaming of fighting Keanu Reeves. Because to me he's still the same loser from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. I'd give him a Matrix style beating he'd NEVER forget.
"Follow the white rabbit to your death you bass playing MORON!!!!!" :shootin :wings :shootin

[JonathanLB]

This is a funny thread.

Well, let's see, haha...

Playful fight, I definitely gotta say with Sarah Michelle Gellar. She can kick my ass any day! LOL.

Serious fight, I want a piece of that retard Mitch Albom. I know he's not a major celebrity, but he's gotta count. If not, then I'll go at it with Leo, stupid pretty boy. :)

[CMJ]

Steven Seagall...as long as I get the first few shots...maybe have him tied up to begin with. Hopefully I could take him out before it was his turn. :) That guy couldn't act his way through a wet paper bag. I despise him. ;)

[ReaperFett]

Keanu Reeves

"THIS is for Collateral Damage! And THIS is for the Matrix! And THIS is for Dracula! And THIS is for Much ado about nothing! And THIS is for Johnny Mnemonic! And THIS is for Chain Reaction! And THIS is forDevil's Advocate! NOW WHO'S THE ONE??? WOAH THIS!!!"










Sorry :)

[Marcus Telcontar]

Actually, from what I read and know, Keanu has done a lot of Martial Arts. I suspect you would git your butt handed back to you.

Real fight - Britney Spears. Please, I want to pan that bitch soooooo hard. N'SYNC.... that would be good too.

[ReaperFett]

but Marcus, it'd be 5 on 1!:)

[Quadinaros]

For fun, I'd like to fight Christopher Reeve. :x

For a serious fight, I'd like to kick the crap out of Haley Joel Osment. :rollin

[Charley]

The Question-Mark suit guy, who sells books on government funding.

[Morgan Evanar]

But the Devil's Advocate was a great movie...

Fun: mmmm Jennifer Connelly. *drools*

Real: Carson Daily, for continuing to do that TRL trash.

[darth_mcbain]

Originally posted by Lounge Lizard
The Question-Mark suit guy, who sells books on government funding.

:lol I would so like a piece of that action...

[Jedieb]

The Verizon "Can you hear me now?" guy. Another pathetic attempt by corporate America to push a celebrity on us. This guy isn't funny or endearing in the least. I'd rather watch reanimated road kill than this idiot. I never thought I'd see ANYTHING more annoying than Carrot Top, but that guy is evenmore annoying. At least the Sprint Trench Coat guy makes me laugh with his "must be the static" routine. The Verizon guy simply has to die.
"Can you hear me punching you into the next area code?
POW!
"Can you hear me punching you into the next area code?
POW!
"Can you hear me punching you into the next area code?
POW!

As for Keanu, I could care less that he's taken martial arts. I'd be more scared of a boxer or gang member than Keanu in white pajamas. Trinity would be a tougher fight than "whoa" boy. :evil

[CMJ]

Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell. I wouldn't mind decking either of those clowns.

[Jedieb]

Ghandi.
Because he's a pacifist and he probably wouldn't put up much of a fight. Easy victory. :evil

[CMJ]

LOL good call Jedieb!

You kinda mentioned one I'd love to destroy. Carrot Top would be ALOT of fun to kick the crap out of. ;)

[ReaperFett]

06-10-02 05:42 PM Post # 19


Ghandi.
Because he's a pacifist and he probably wouldn't put up much of a fight. Easy victory.

Isnt he dead?:)

[Doc Milo]

I kind of want to beat the living crap out of Ted Turner. Throw in Jane Fonda while we're at it. And Alec Baldwin. And Tim Robbins and Susan Serandon. Then, after I'm done pulling a Buff on all their @$$e$, I'll kick the crap out of the Evil One, that ex-first lady.

[Admiral Lebron]

Real fight... Arrafat.. I hate him... so much!
Fun fight...Denise Richards.

[JMK]

I wouldn't mind having a playful scrap with Rachael Leigh Cook, but for real, I'd hammer Bud Selig, Jeffrey Loria and David Samson all into the old age home. All at once. And I would use David Samson as a club to beat the other two to a bloody pulp. Then when I was done with him, I'd go and whip that Dell computer kid.

[Mu Satach]

hmmm....

Fun - Bruce Campbell. :D :D :D :D :D :D

Real - they've already been named, comercial freaks, pop icon freaks, if I think of someone I'd like to knock upside the head with a 2 x 4 I'll let you know.

[ReaperFett]

Mu's fun - the most obvious answer so far :)

[JonathanLB]

"But the Devil's Advocate was a great movie... "

This was a joke... or not?

The Devil's Advocate was absolutely one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life. I remember at the time calling it the #1 worst film ever made, but now it's just top 10 worst material, err, bottom ten more like it. It's a glorified porno flick, much like Unfaithful. If you want to see a girl naked throughout a movie with buckets of blood on her everywhere, so be it, but I prefer an actual plot that consists of good dialogue, acting, and something meaningful happening. The Devil's Advocate had none of that.

So my other REAL FIGHT request would be whatever STUPID HACK of a director made that appalling piece of crap. No offense to anyone who liked it or anything, but I hated it, and I definitely want my 2 hours back!

[Mu Satach]

Originally posted by ReaperFett
Mu's fun - the most obvious answer so far :)

I almost wrote "surprise!" after it. hehehehe...
;)

[ReaperFett]

Pacino was great in it. And that's it. A giant pile of turd otherwise

[ReaperFett]

I almost wrote "surprise!" after it. hehehehe...
lol:)

[JMK]

I thought it had one of the worst endings ever.

[ReaperFett]

Yeah, it was Dallas all over :)

[Mu Satach]

Pacino's fun in that one but when I finally saw it I was so happy I didn't spend money on it.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Real Fight: Denise Richards. I hate her! I'd love to beat her I-can't-really-act-but-I-have-big-breasts butt. *shudder* HATE I am using the word HATE in regards to Ms. Richards!

Fun Fight: Guy Pearce. I don't think I need to qualify that. :love

[ReaperFett]

I nominate LDs real fight as the best suggestion so far as a spectator sport :)


























<FONT SIZE=1> Dont hurt me:) <FONT SIZE=2>











BTW, that's MRS Richards now. THat or Mrs Sheen :)

[JonathanLB]

I would pay to see that fight! Her vs. Denise, hell yeah! :)

Denise is soooooo hot. Haha, who cares if she can or cannot act? Her body does her acting for her, lol. j/k ;) But seriously, she's enjoyable in some movies, at least as far as adding scenery.

*drools*...

[Lilaena De'Ville]

^ Reason No. 394,929,432 that men are pigs!

:lol

I am dead serious, too. I'd give her a black eye if I thought I could get away with it.

[Mu Satach]

oooooooOOOOOOoooooooooooooo.........

Guy Pierce... *drools*

Add James Caviezel to my fun list as well.

[ReaperFett]

Oh, Im a pig now :)


She was fine in Starship Troopers :)







Side note, over here Mr Sheen is a polish. She could do adverts for it! First time you'd use the words "Denise Richards", "Polished" and "acting" in the same sentence :)

[JMK]

Can't act????? Did you see her in Wild Things????

[ReaperFett]

not seen much, but I saw the highlights :)

[JonathanLB]

Nah guys are not pigs, only some of them are ;)

Just because any guy would do Denise Richards without hesitation doesn't make guys pigs, haha, it just makes them, well, guys! :)

"Add James Caviezel to my fun list as well."

He is one of my favorite actors after seeing The Count of Monte Cristo and Frequency. I think Monte Cristo is second only to Star Wars this year, and to be honest, I doubt even The Two Towers will be able to knock Monte Cristo from my 2nd ranking this year. I love that film, one of the best movies ever made IMO, just too well put together to ignore. I have no idea how a critic could give it 2.5 stars, jesus.

Frequency, although I already had high expectations, was INCREDIBLE. I absolutely loved it. Even better than I had expected. Wow, what a movie.

Hahahaha, seen the good parts of Wild Things, I have. Run a Denise site, my friend did. Give me the best clips, he did! Hahaha. ;) Oh of course I didn't save them to my computer... or did I?! :D

I saw what I needed of Wild Things -- that was a frickin' awesome scene!

Denise is great in Starship Troopers, lol

[JMK]

Wasn't he in The Thin Red Line too? Ooooohhhh, minus 5 for Jimbo!

[JonathanLB]

From what I understand, The Thin Red Line is absolutely the most painfully boring film ever made.

[ReaperFett]

He was good in the TRL :)

[JMK]

TRL???? With Carson Daly?

[CMJ]

Put me on the "I love 'The Thin Red Line' badwagon". But that's a whole other thread....:)

[ReaperFett]

I remember those wars, sorry, threads :)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Denise Richards:the worse excuse for a nuclear scientist EVER. Anyone remember "The World is Not Enough"? "I thought Christmas only came once a year.." THAT was the most horrible line I've ever heard!?

Plus the fact that the movie she did before the Bond one was "Drop Dead Gorgeous" (which I never saw). But, please! I make a better nuclear scientist than she does.

Wild Things...never saw it. Looked like smut to me. JUST LIKE DENISE! Smut!

Okay okay...I'm not quite done yet. My favorite movie with Denise Richards in it was "Valentine."

If you've seen it, you know why. >D

[Admiral Lebron]

I started the whole Denise Richards thing. I'm cool :smokin

[JonathanLB]

Man I loved that line!!! That was perhaps one of the best puns of the last decade, haha. Obviously Christmas comes about every day for that lady! :) LOL.

But yes, you would make a better nuclear scientist. That was so unbelievable, LOL, yikes. But she was the best Bond girl ever as far as actually being hot, and Bond girls should be hot. The rest of them are not hot at all, I have no idea what they were thinking. Now Halle Berry? Jesus spare us, that girl is not hot, she's not even very good looking whatsoever. Her acting abilities are incredibly questionable, and yes I saw Monster's Ball, she was not good in it either. The critics are full of crap.

[CMJ]

I must disagree...Halle gave one of the best performances I've seen from a female lead in some time.

[JonathanLB]

I guess crying and showing her boobies was a wonderful performance. I beg to differ, though. I thought it was at best mediocre, at worst just plain painful.

The movie was horrid.

[CMJ]

We've gone at least 10 rounds on that one though Jonathan. :) You know you're right...and I know I am. Arguing will accomplish nothing as we've both dug in our heels. ;)

BUT Halle was incredible in "Monster's Ball". :)

[Jedieb]

The rest of US know YOU'RE right CMJ, don't forget that. ;)

Yes reaper, we all know Ghandi's been dead for DECADES. Yet another reason why he's an excellent opponent. Even Jon could take out a pacifist corpse that's been rotting for close to half a decade.

Berre = hotness
Have we all forgotten The Last Boy Boyscout.

Real Fight
I'll go in the opposite direction of Doc. Bruce Willis, Drew Carey, & Charlton Heston. Then I'd bitch slap Nancy Reagan around just for the heck of it. :smokin

[CMJ]

LOL Eb...the Liberal vs the Conservative. Gotta love it. :)

Since I'm in the political center I can thrash the hardcore people on the left AND right. ;)

[JMK]

Boy how politically opposite we are. I sit here, drink a cold one, watch the game, and not give a damn about anything political.
I'm sure it'll bite me in the keister one day.

[Jedieb]

Oh, am pretty close to the center, I just couldn't let Doc have all the fun. ;)
Real Fight
ANYONE associated with PETA. Especially the morons who dress up in cow suits and protest across the street of a burger joint. I'd hand them their lunch and then I'd enjoy mine over their broken bones. My lunch would of course consist of every form of meat I could eat at one sitting. Stupid PETA.:shootin

[CMJ]

LOL, amen to that.

I'm a frickin' carnivore. :)

[JMK]

Nothing beats a 14 oz steak properly grilled on the barbecue. Except a big mac.

just kidding.

I meant a whopper.

[Jedieb]

More Ultra Liberals and Ultra Conservatives that deserve butt kickings;
Jane Fonda, Rush Limbaugh, Barbara Streisand, Bill Bennet, & that nimrod Bill O'Reily. Poor O'Reily and his Fox inferiority complex. My thrashing him won't make him feel any better, but that's not my problem! :evil :evil

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Halle Berry is a gorgeous woman. And she is an amazing actress..I, to my shame, have not seen "Monster's Ball" yet..but I plan on doing so.

As soon as I buy a VCR. ^_^;

Halle Berry vs. Denise Richards as Bond girls? Halle wins hands down. Did you even SEE her at the Oscars!? My God, her dress was breathtaking. I wish I could pull off a dress like that. (Not literally, you know what I mean.)

[JMK]

Phew, I raised my brow there for a second...

[Lilaena De'Ville]

:lol!

I'd also like to point out, Jonathan, if showing your boobies makes you a good actress, then Denise must be one too. MY bad, how on EARTH did I miss that?! [/sarcasm] :p

[Jedieb]

Lilaena, you must think Harvey Keitel is the best actor on the planet. ;)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

OMG is he ever!!!

:lol To be quite honest, I don't think I've seen him in anything. ^_^;

[Jedieb]

If you've seen Hung Lieutenant, I'm sorry, I mean Bad Lieutenant, then you've seem ALL the Harvey Keitel you need to see. shudder.....:x

[Anbira Hicchoru]

I'm choosing another, since this can't be answered with just one.

If I could fight anybody:

Its gotta be Christopher Reeves :evil

[Lilaena De'Ville]

That has to be the most horrible thing I've ever read! Charley! :mad I know someone else already said that..but why?!

[Jedieb]

Because I am ZOD! Kneel before me Superman! Kneel before ZOD!
Off to the negative zone with you bullies, you're both inhumane! Anyway, I'm taking on Stephen Hawkin next. :cool

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Because he's superman. If I can kick superman's ass....then I am a bad bad man :)

[Morgan Evanar]

Charley, you bastard! Thats evil.

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Can you imagine the utter coolness of drop-kicking the Man of Steel out of his electric wheelchair?

[Jedieb]

Guys I would NEVER fight people they're TOO damn cool:
Clint Eastwood
Harrison Ford
Bogart
Jimmy Stewart
Katherine Hepburn
Actually, I'd take Hepburn on. That damn voice of hers has earned her a punch in the back of the head. I don't care how old she is. While I'm beating up on the geriatric, somebody prop up Bob Hope, because I'm coming for him next!>D

[Lilaena De'Ville]

:lol *I* could kick his ass. Geez! Ever notice the wheelchair and ventilator he's on?!

Okay, after Denise Richards, who is numero uno on my "to be fought" list, I would love to beat the crap out of those people at the supermarket who ask for money right as you're leaving.

Them: "Support the Left Handed Blind Nuns in the Rainforest!"

Me: "I don't have any change."

Them: "Liar."

Me: "Yep! Wait, I think I *do* have something...." BAM! then I'd clock them right in the nose. "Thats for making up a phony agency and BOTHERING ME!

[Anbira Hicchoru]

I'd like to kick Jake Lloyd in the junk a few times, just to make sure that no Yippie-spouting spawn can ever be conceived from his evil loins in the future.

[Jedieb]

Charley likes to beat up the invalid. I like Charley. I want to go to the Special Olympics with Charley. We'd have lots of fun and lots of good exercise. Sure, we'd get arrested eventually, but think of the beatings we'd get to dish out!!!>D

[Lilaena De'Ville]

:lol!!! NOooo, you're evil!

[Morgan Evanar]

Addendum: I'd like to beat up JonathanLB because he simply can't think when proccessing audio-visual stimuli. And he has no taste in women.

[TheHolo.Net]

:|
:\
:lol

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Yeah. Me too. I'd like to tackle Jon to the ground, and beat him across the side of his head with his own hijacked pennyloafers. What a bastard. :)

[Jedieb]

Let's not get personal here. Plus, be realistic, the line to kick Jon's ass is as long as any you'll find in Disney World. Go after Reeves, that's sure to be a short line. 3 or 4 people at the most.;)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

I would also love to fight Adrian Paul. He's my Campbell Soup man.

Mmm Mmm Good. :D

[Anbira Hicchoru]

I wanna kick a Siamese twin in the nuts...to see if the other one feels it.

[Jedieb]

:lol

[Lilaena De'Ville]

>_<

[Jedieb]

I want to fight the Three Stooges. The ORINGINAL Stooges. I'll simply shoot Schemp and Joe if they try to get in the way. The Three Stooges, bar none, the finest Jewish athletes of the 20th century. Now that would be a fight for the ages...;)

[Anbira Hicchoru]

or maybe I could methodically poke a hemopheliac.

[Jedi Master Carr]

Man I feel left out, this thread is a riot, I have to agree with you about O'Reilly the man is a moron, I don't even really consider him a real conservative, he is a tabloid journalist (he comes from Inside Edition originally) the man is a phony and I' can't stand him either. Also here are my two nods
fun fight: Natalie Portman can't believe nobody said it before me :)
Real one: Adolf Hitler, sure he is dead but he was the evilest man who ever lived and I would have loved to have beaten the crap out of him.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

OOoh yeah, and I wanna beat up the Red Baron. How cool is it to be able to say you beat up the Red Baron?

[Doc Milo]

ANYONE associated with PETA. Especially the morons who dress up in cow suits and protest across the street of a burger joint. I'd hand them their lunch and then I'd enjoy mine over their broken bones. My lunch would of course consist of every form of meat I could eat at one sitting. Stupid PETA.

I'd join you in that fight, Jedieb!

My sister is one of those (while not a member of PETA) vegitarians. She makes faces everytime I bite into a hamburger. (Now she lives in Texas, where I hear they like their burgers still mooing. She must be tortured! :) )

I'd say I'm only slightly right of center. Actually, I'm just right. Period. :)

More politicos to beat the living daylights out of: David Duke; Mario Cuomo (and his son Andrew for good measure); Janet Reno; Strom Thurmond (for staying around FAR too long!); Robert Byrd. Celeberities-- Bea Arthur (sorry Buff); Oliver Stone; and you know who really needs a good swift kick? Chris Rock and George Carlin. I don't know why.

For fun, Alyssa Milano!

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Judy Dench!

How could I forget! I'd have to clock her dentures out for every "F-ing Miramax" movie about lesbian cowboys that eat pudding that I've ever seen.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

!!!!

I still think you should watch "The Importance of Being Earnest."

:lol

[JonathanLB]

"Addendum: I'd like to beat up JonathanLB because he simply can't think when proccessing audio-visual stimuli. And he has no taste in women."

You guys suck, seriously. lol. I have great taste in women actually, and Halle Berry is goddamn ugly as hell. She looks good as Storm in X-Men, sure, but her acting there was FRICKIN AWFUL, and in Monster's Ball it was just better, not good. No girl with that short of hair will ever or has ever looked good. It's just not possible unless you're a homo. I like girls with hair at least to their shoulders. Nothing wrong with shoulder-length hair obviously, that's great, but come on, if it's shorter it's like a frickin' guy. Berry is not hot. My best friend really likes her but she's just, eww, no. Sorry no thanks. I've seen 1,000 hotter girls easily, and that was just last summer in Las Vegas alone.

Also, I am a film critic and movie industry buff, I process "audio-visual stimuli" better than Yoda wields a lightsaber! "Much to learn, you still have!" "You assume too much!"

O'Reilly is absolutely awesome. I love his show, I love him. He's the man. I have read his first book and a lot of his second. He's totally awesome. Rush Limbaugh is a good republican, I like him too. :)

BTW, did I watch the Oscars with Halle? No. I do not watch a show that has no clue what it's doing any year, and when they f**ked over TPM, that was it. I made a vow NEVER to watch it again and I have stuck with that, and I don't intend to break it unless a personal friend of mine is up for an award and then it would be an insult not to watch. Or if I were ever involved in the movie industry and actually attended the event, ok fine because it's political, but that doesn't mean I have to respect them, like them, or think anything of them. What I think of the movies that come out in a year is 1000 times more important than what the Academy does. They're never right. What I think is always right to me :) So you tell me, why would I care? I wouldn't. I don't watch to see the skanky dresses or the STUPID acceptance speeches.

By the way, there has never, in history, EVER, EVER been a worse acceptance speech than for Halle, which I painfully had to watch on another entertainment show later on. It was the worst thing I have ever seen, and I hate emotional women who go up there and blab away for two eternities. It's pathetic. The guys never do that and for good reason, they aren't totally moronic about it, they realize it's just a stupid award from a stupid institution that never gets anything right. Watching the women accept their awards is one big reason I would never watch that show anymore. It makes me want to vommit. Obviously, they are not Jedi Knight candidates, can't even keep their emotions in check. That's not all women, it's just some, and those few who ruin it for everyone else, shame on them! They shouldn't be given any more awards. Stupid Halle Berry, you've just made me want to kick her ass into the middle of next week. I do not like raw displays of emotion. It's one thing if you want to have them in your own space and time without anyone else present, but I think when you are around other people and especially in front of the world, you should act calm and composed at all times, regardless of the situation no matter how good or bad. The Jedi have it right there, showing your emotions to other people is a weakness, unless they are very close to you and then, well, you gotta realize if you are opening up a weakness you are vulnerable. Best to leave yourself protected 99.99% of the time.

As for the Christopher Reeve comment, jesus, haha, talk about un-PC, well just un-cool in general. I love that guy. I feel sorry for him, he was the coolest, what a great person and a great actor. I wish he were still able to move around and all because he is the man. Superman and Superman II are still the best comic book movies ever. Screw X-Men and Spiderman, even though they had, in some ways, better characters to use, they still came up short. I still love both films, they are four star movies to me (I saw X-Men 4 times in theaters!), but you cannot top Superman or Superman II. Batman is REALLY close, like really close, but not quite there. It could not really be any better though, Tim Burton did a masterful job with that first film. The second film, uhh, sorry. Batman Forever is much better.

The line to beat me up? Haha, bring it on suckas! I'll grab my lightsaber and make you wish you'd never been born. I'll tear you so many new holes you'll be called the swiss cheese capital of the world! As you see, my Jedi powers are far beyond yours. Now, back down!

[ReaperFett]

And you have no taste in film, your point? ;)





But, please! I make a better nuclear scientist than she does.
Only one way to prove it. TO THE NUCLEAR REACTOR! :)

If you've seen Hung Lieutenant, I'm sorry, I mean Bad Lieutenant, then you've seem ALL the Harvey Keitel you need to see. shudder.....
Let us never speak of THAT again

I don't think I've seen him in anything
That was the problem with the scene :)

'd also like to point out, Jonathan, if showing your boobies makes you a good actress, then Denise must be one too
The Oscar winners this year were Halle Berry and Jennifer Connely. So yeah, seems that way :)

[Charley]

The line to beat me up? Haha, bring it on suckas! I'll grab my lightsaber and make you wish you'd never been born. I'll tear you so many new holes you'll be called the swiss cheese capital of the world! As you see, my Jedi powers are far beyond yours. Now, back down!

Ah, but your lightsaber is made of plastic. My shoe is made of leather and steel. Your ass is made of ass. Steel is harder than ass. I win.

[CMJ]

Oh wow Jonathan that was a doozy..... I have to respond, to almost all of it.

"I have great taste in women actually, and Halle Berry is goddamn ugly as hell. "

That second thought makes your first one invalid. ;)

"She looks good as Storm in X-Men, sure, but her acting there was FRICKIN AWFUL, and in Monster's Ball it was just better, not good."

I'll agree on "X-Men", but she was outstanding in "Monster's Ball".

"No girl with that short of hair will ever or has ever looked good. It's just not possible unless you're a homo."

Talk about a generality....

"I like girls with hair at least to their shoulders. Nothing wrong with shoulder-length hair obviously, that's great, but come on, if it's shorter it's like a frickin' guy. Berry is not hot. My best friend really likes her but she's just, eww, no. Sorry no thanks. I've seen 1,000 hotter girls easily, and that was just last summer in Las Vegas alone."

I never said she was the best thing since sliced bread Jonathan, but she is attractive.

"Also, I am a film critic and movie industry buff, I process "audio-visual stimuli" better than Yoda wields a lightsaber! "Much to learn, you still have!" "You assume too much!" "

LOL! No comment. ;)

"O'Reilly is absolutely awesome. I love his show, I love him. He's the man. I have read his first book and a lot of his second. He's totally awesome. Rush Limbaugh is a good republican, I like him too."

Yuck! I grew up a Republican actually, but when the Religious Right and morons like Rush took over the party in the mid to late 80's I felt alienated. I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal. Thus no party exists for me. ;)

"BTW, did I watch the Oscars with Halle? No. I do not watch a show that has no clue what it's doing any year, and when they f**ked over TPM, that was it."

*sigh* Not this again....

"I made a vow NEVER to watch it again and I have stuck with that, and I don't intend to break it unless a personal friend of mine is up for an award and then it would be an insult not to watch."

Plan on watching someday buddy. I plan to be up for one eventually. ;)

"Or if I were ever involved in the movie industry and actually attended the event, ok fine because it's political, but that doesn't mean I have to respect them, like them, or think anything of them. What I think of the movies that come out in a year is 1000 times more important than what the Academy does."

I KIND of agree with you, but I follow the Academy Awards like a great horserace. It's a ton of fun...

"They're never right. What I think is always right to me So you tell me, why would I care?"

I agree with them a fair percentage of the time. ;)

"I wouldn't. I don't watch to see the skanky dresses or the STUPID acceptance speeches."

Skanky dresses huh? Maybe you should hang out in clubs or something. Formal dresses are the OPPOSITE of skanky dresses.

"By the way, there has never, in history, EVER, EVER been a worse acceptance speech than for Halle, which I painfully had to watch on another entertainment show later on."

I don't know it was rather appalling.

"It was the worst thing I have ever seen, and I hate emotional women who go up there and blab away for two eternities. It's pathetic."

No the reson I thought it was a bad speech was she railed on and on about the race issue. While a significant landmark I thought she really played on it WAY to much in her speech. After awhile I began to squirm.

"The guys never do that and for good reason, they aren't totally moronic about it, they realize it's just a stupid award from a stupid institution that never gets anything right."

Dude Tom Hanks cried BOTH times he won an Oscar. I know there have been others, but he was very memorable.

"Watching the women accept their awards is one big reason I would never watch that show anymore. It makes me want to vommit."

Nice one man. The biggest Award the industry can bestow and since they aren't stoic you hate it. Are you British by chance? ;)

"Obviously, they are not Jedi Knight candidates, can't even keep their emotions in check. That's not all women, it's just some, and those few who ruin it for everyone else, shame on them!"

*sigh* What else is there to say?

"They shouldn't be given any more awards. Stupid Halle Berry, you've just made me want to kick her ass into the middle of next week."

Wow dude, you have alot of pent up aggression. The darkside I fear in you.

"I do not like raw displays of emotion. It's one thing if you want to have them in your own space and time without anyone else present, but I think when you are around other people and especially in front of the world, you should act calm and composed at all times, regardless of the situation no matter how good or bad."

Hey I TRY to act stoic too my firend, but I have broken down in public once or twice. It IS somewhat embarrassing for a guy to do...but oh well. :)

"The Jedi have it right there, showing your emotions to other people is a weakness, unless they are very close to you and then, well, you gotta realize if you are opening up a weakness you are vulnerable."

I think always HIDING your emotions is a weakness. I prefer putting on 70% emotions with people I'm not close to. ;)

"Best to leave yourself protected 99.99% of the time."

If you are always protected you can never love. ;)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

I would have cried like a baby, and probably gotten snot all over Oscar if *I* was Halle. :lol C'mon, it doesn't happen very often that you get an award like that.

OH and Fett...I'll "nuclear reactor" YOU if you're not careful. ;) Ah well. If only I *could* be an actress, it would be so much fun. :p Plus I'd get all my clothes custom fit. Thats the only reason I'd want to be a model..Custom fit clothing. Ahhh...if only I had money. ;)

(this tangent has been brought to you by MY FRICKIN' JOB)

[Jedieb]

Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot by Al Franken
I dare say it's one of the GREATEST books of the 20th century. But I'm still kicking Franken's ass for unleashing Stuart Saves His Family on an unsuspecting public.

People I'd help Doc beat the crap out of:
David Duke
Strom Thurmond
But I'm not touching Mario Cuomo or Janet Reno. Cuomo's a cool Italian from NY, my kind of guy. Plus, I have no wish to watch my back everytime I go through a toll booth. I'm not messing with Reno because she looks tougher than Arnold on 'roid rage. Screw that, I'll take on that Cruella Deville that helped fix the Florida ballot. :smokin

[ReaperFett]

OH and Fett...I'll "nuclear reactor" YOU if you're not careful
Sounds promising :)

[Jedieb]

One more for Doc;
James Carville
Because no one with that many nervous ticks should be allowed on television. He'd be hard to hit because of all the neck spasms and head jerks, but I'd pin him down eventually. Partisan attack dogs, both Rep. and Dem., I'm kicking the crap out of ALL of them!:shootin

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Originally posted by ReaperFett
Sounds promising :)

:lol I didn't mean it like that.


...or DID I?! :p

[ReaperFett]

you're the one who winked :)




Oh, another to beat up. The one who is with Jennifer Anniston in Friends. He is unfunny, pain should be inflicted :)

[Doc Milo]

Ah, James Carville. I'll hold him. You punch. Then we reverse....


While we're talking about Florida -- I'd like to take the entire Florida Supreme Court on. And Al Gore's attorney, what's his face -- and Al Gore for that matter. (Although, punching solid oak might hurt.) And I'd like to send a nuke up Saddam Hussein's butt and detonate it. And if we're still taking on the corpses -- I'd like to kick the crap out of the Marshall Supreme Court.

[ReaperFett]

Doc, the question was fight, not make a whole hitlist :)

[Jedieb]

Thurgood Marshall was one baaaad mutha! You shut yo mouth Doc!!! I'm thumpin' Kennedy, Scalia, and Thomas just for that. I'll show him what a high tech eletronic lynching is REALLY like when I stick a transmitting tower up his tight ass!

[Doc Milo]

Speaking of Kennedy's.....

The most corrupt family in the United States of America has a whupping coming its way by One Doc Milo -- and, for irony's sake, I'd like to do the honors at Chapaquitic (sp?).

[Lilaena De'Ville]

...remind me not to get on your bad side... :uhoh

[ReaperFett]

Dont worry, LD, you'd be so far down on his list it would take years to get to you :)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

:lol Good point. I feel better now.

Plus, who on earth would want to beat the crap out of me?! :angel Actually I can think of one person. No wait, two. But I live so far away now, I think I'm safe.

[ReaperFett]

Unless you count Counter Strike, when hundreds of four year olds enjoy beating the crap out of you :)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

>_< that doesn't count!

[ReaperFett]

Oh, sorry, dont you like people bringing that up? :)

[Taylor Millard]

I would want to fight...oh I dunno...Jennifer Connelly ;) I'm sure I'd let her win. :mischief

[Lady Vader]

:lol

This thread deserves the WTF Award!!

But, while we're on the subject...

*Brandishes claws.*

Who wants some? >D

.....

Hmmm... that can be taken in sooooooooooo many different ways... o_O

:lol

[Lilaena De'Ville]

*I* don't. *edges away from LV*

:mad @ Fett! Shush you!

:p

[ReaperFett]

must play you at CS one day :)

[Threepio]

I do not think that is necessary, Master Fett.

[ReaperFett]

Scared of my skills? :)

[Threepio]

Yes. :D

[Ilyn Pyke]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Lady Vader
:lol

This thread deserves the WTF Award!!

But, while we're on the subject...

*Brandishes claws.*

Who wants some? >D


::Brandishes nail-clippers:: >D

You poor deluded child you!

[Threepio]

*hands him another [/quote] tag*

[ReaperFett]

how generous :)

[JonathanLB]

What gives with the comment that you think I have bad taste in film? Was that necessary or did you just feel like being a dick?

I run a movie review site. You don't. Get back to me when you have become a SOMEBODY and I'll be interested in what you have to say -- until then, go be a dick elsewhere. Frickin wannabe fan.

[CMJ]

LOL Jonathan. I don't think you have bad taste in film...but comparing your "abilites" to Yoda is laughable.

I would laugh is someone compared my "abilities" to process film to Yoda. It's FRICKIN opinons man!! This is not how to wield a lightsabre of anything that dramatic. Geeeeeeeeeeez.

Once again...your anger shows through. Jonathan, I did not mean to offend you with my response, but your other post was so over the map I felt like I had to.

[JonathanLB]

HOW STUPID do they come?! That was a JOKE, and if that isn't obvious you are a DUMB IDIOT.

My anger, I'll show you anger. Get up here to Portland and I'll show you anger. Don't even go there with me right now, I've never been more angry and I've lived through 7,000 days or some stupid number like that.

Jesus some people are dense.

At least I'm not a wannabe fan like Reaper here. Thank the maker. As for you CMJ, a complete response to my post wasn't necessary as it was just a joke, so lay off it, ok?

[CMJ]

Uhhh In my first response I figured it was a joke. But then this latest semi-rant I thought was aimed towards me, which is why I felt the need to explain myself.

Glad it's all cleared up. Carry on. ;)

[ReaperFett]

Jon, I wasnt talking to you, I was talking to Morg, who always disagrees with me :)

[JonathanLB]

Very well, nothing was meant towards either of you personal, it's something totally unrelated to this forum, just I should go to bed, I cannot sleep because I am so F****** P***ED off. Nothing personal towards anyone, I should not even be posting but whatever. I will stop now.

Reaper is a good guy, jesus, the Dark Side I sensed there for a while in me, lol.

CMJ it was a joke dude, all a joke, I don't think all of my posts should be taken seriously, in fact most of them probably shouldn't ;)

Just like none of us take Darth23 seriously when he says Final Fantasy is a good movie! LOL, j/k

[ReaperFett]

Course it's personal, you called me a dick, a nobody and a wannabe fan. Suppose that's better than most reactions I get ;)

[JonathanLB]

haha, sorry. You caught me at a bad time and I feel like lighting up a lightsaber and killing me some Tuskens.

If I had to pick the character I identify with most closely at this time, it's definitely Anakin at his worst moments in AOTC or perhaps more like closer to Darth Vader. I would go slaughter Ewoks if I had a lightsaber and they were close by -- just for fun. Just so I could see the look of agony on their faces as I cut them to bits. I like Ewoks normally too, as a Star Wars fan, but as Anakin I'd like to see them all in Ewok Jerky packages for my own consumption.

[CMJ]

Man, dude..wanna talk about it? I'm on right now ya know...

[JonathanLB]

My best friend already tried that, I do not feel like talking about it. Emotions do not make sense and all I feel like doing is ripping something apart.

I just took my AIM list from 99 people down to 44, though, mostly just deleted all of those F***ING B***H girls on it. I figure if they cannot respond to me when I send them IMs just asking how they are doing, then why keep wasting my time? I just saved myself 30 minutes a day potentially.

I'm tired of acting like this... "Oh gee, I will just keep on trying to be friends with this person even though they do not show me the same friendship I try to show them. I will just keep trying anyway, because I'm Mr. Nice Guy." Screw that. I'm tired of Mr. Nice Guy. I want to see what it's like now being Mr. Selfish-I-Don't-Care-How-Anyone-Else-Is-Doing-Because-I'm-Busy-With-My-Own-Life-Guy. If any of those people want to send me a message, I'm here, and they can do so, but I'm not going to try anymore.

I just deleted two previous "friends" from the list because it's obvious they do not send me messages. I'm sick of having entire days ruined because someone ignores me or because they blow me off after two sentences, especially just after I am in a serious accident that was potentially much more dangerous than it was, and they have no idea nor do they even care. Obviously if I had been killed, would they even care? No. Life goes on. Those are not friends. I have just saved myself time by deleting them from my life entirely. Now they have to make the effort.

Someday, as I was trying to do before my luck started turning to crap, I will be in local papers, then I'll be on the radio, then I'll make the national scene, and I will be "an old high school classmate" to them, and of course they'll be interested that I finally did this or that, and I'll simply have no time for them because they are living their ordinary lives in ordinary America and I will be living far above them in social status and everything else. Then, we will see who has won in the end, but talk does no good, only action, and that's why if I simply withdraw and become more like Hugh Grant in About A Boy, I can get more done.

Less forum posting (this one being an exception, this is my home forum now sorta), less AIM chat, less anything, just work. That way, I will get somewhere.

No worrying about making new friends either, I have a few good ones, they are all I need. The rest of the people are not worth the letters to spell their names. Screw 'em.

I'm going to bed, and when I wake up it'll be a new day for me even if it is the middle of an existing day, and then I will start to rebuild what I was trying to do before and this time I'll get it right.

[CMJ]

I figured it was about a girl. ;)

Guys always are most volcanic when matters of the heart are involved.

[ReaperFett]

Just one thing dude. Dont let people not IMing you get you down. I once went 3 days without a single IM to me.

[BUFFJEDI]

Damn!! Jon went BUFF up in hereO_o

fight club ehh.
well I'd like to get my hands on Shaq, and show him what a real Superman is.I'd snatch that superman Tatoo off his arm and feed it to him.


I'd Love to get in a showdown with Jet li. With an ars beating like that , I could learn a few things :)


And of course just for fun, BEA Arthur :)
or Ms. Portman ;) or both at the same time :rollin

[Lilaena De'Ville]

>_< Both at the same time!? :lol

Aww, Fett and Jon, you should know that not being AIMed is NOT the end of the world. Actually I think I've broken Fett of complaining of that.

*hugs* to both. But not at the same time. :p

And I'd like to beat the hell out of ALL customers who think its all right to stay in a store after closing.

[BUFFJEDI]

:lol

Oh yeah!!! at the Same time :cool

hey, i'm greedy :)

[BUFFJEDI]

And I'd like to beat the hell out of ALL customers who think its all right to stay in a store after closing.

What kind of store do you work at?

[ReaperFett]

One with shoplifters apparently :)

[BUFFJEDI]

Fun fight
Yoda
Just because it would be cool to say I got my bags handed to me by an 800 year old Jedi Master.

Well EB(s) that's what you would get for picking on someone YOUNGER tha you :lol :lol :lol


Hey ,I owed you that for Hulking out on me and tossing me around, on other thread :D

[BUFFJEDI]

One with shoplifters apparently

:lol

[Jedieb]

At least you admit I'd toss you around if I hulked out. All is well. ;)

Real Fight
Chris Tucker
For ruining the 5th Element for me.
Bobcat Goldwait
If not for him, then Scrooged would have been PERFECT and quite possibly my all time favorite comedy. Stupid Bobcat!!!:shootin

[Lilaena De'Ville]

We DO have shoplifters. But mostly inconsiderate old people with money who think that my world revolves around serving them. We close at 8 pm not 8:15!! EIGHT!

We can't tell them we're closed either. It sucks! I just turn off the music and start giving them evil looks. :p j/k :)

[ReaperFett]

One word would get them out.










"FIRE!" :)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Nah. That would just give them heart attacks, and me a lawsuit. :(

And I loved the 5th Element!! :lol Oh well. Bobcat deserves a beating, though. Just for his voice. >_<

[ReaperFett]

yeah, but noone alive would remain :)

[JonathanLB]

It's not just a matter of AIM, trust me. I used to be that sensitive, and I probably still am to some degree, but it is much more than that.

It's not any one girl, one person, or anything like that. It's just general frustration and that has to turn to action, which it did. Now my contact list is not going to waste so much of my time.

I figure if Liz Dilorenzo and Ellie and the other Liz (I.). have any interest in talking to me, THEY can initiate contact this time. Otherwise, I am not going to continue trying.

I mean, what good is a friendship if you are the only one doing anything? It's obviously not a friendship. So let them figure out why I haven't bothered talking to them, and if they don't care, then they are not friends. If they call or they send me an IM, fine, then we'll see. But I am sick and tired of putting more effort into these things than I get back. It's ludicrous! If I didn't send Bryan IM's, he'd just send me almost every day anyway. Ben and I talk when he is actually on, which isn't much, but we are great friends and we hang out all of the time when he's in town. Sean too, we talk daily on AIM.

So why make EXCEPTIONS and continue to pursue relationships with people (friendships here, jesus, not a big deal) if they are obviously not interested in them? Screw that.

[JMK]

And just because the dark side is flowing through me at the moment, I'd like to fight any and all who support the separation of Quebec from Canada. Starting with Lucien Bouchard, Jacques Parizeau and Bernard Landry. All of them at once, because they're so spineless and gutless they'd probably kill each other off like sith. If these politicians from Quebec ever show up in your town, don't listen to a word that comes out of their filthy mouths.

[JonathanLB]

I remember that time when Quebec was really close to separating! I wanted to see it happen just because it'd be cool. In general, I like seeing unusual, weird things happen just to take me out of the monotony of everyday life, haha.

Stock market crash, whoo hoo! Not people dying en masse, though, that stuff ain't cool ;)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Uh huh.

For your amusement: California splits in two! REMEMBER when they were considering THAT?!

[JonathanLB]

Well Cali IS like two separate states, and it's too darn big. It should be Northern California and Southern California. You know a state is too big when you can't even generalize about the weather because in the North part it's horrid, like Portland, Oregon, and the south part is super nice all of the time.

Plus even people living in California consider those from the other half of the state to be totally different, haha. They got their rivalries going and all. "Those darn Southern Californians and their stupid Hollywood arrogance!" "Those stupid Northern Californians and their San Francisco gay pride!"

I dunno, just made that up, lol. Point is, it's a big state, too big. ;)

[CMJ]

Yeah Jonathan....except Texas is like at least twice the size of California. :)

El Paso the western most tip of Texas is closer to Los Angeles than El Paso is to the eastern edge of the state.

North to south we're just as long(if not longer) than California. Texas is bigger than many countries actually. Hmmm I still refer to Texas as my home...how odd. :)

There is a saying in the state "You can take a man outta Texas, but you can't take the Texas out of the man."

I'm a case in point. :)

[JonathanLB]

Texas...

lol. My friend thinks that is the worst state we have, LOL. I've never been there. Do they still have cowboys and Indians there?! ;) j/k

[CMJ]

Worst state....BAH!!!!! Has he ever been there?? If he has maybe he was out in the desolate area's like Midland.

:spank

:shootin

:duel

Texas has like EVERY type of climate there is! Everything from forests, to rolling prairies, to the beach, to a frickin' desert(western Texas). And No...cowboys and Indians are pretty much a thing of the past :x

[BUFFJEDI]

Having have lived in Dallas/plano ,I can say Texas was awesome .I kind of fell still like a TX boy.I can't wait to move back there:)GOD BLESS TEXAS the greatest state I have been to.

[CMJ]

You lived in the DFW region buff??

Those are my old stomping grounds!!! I'm from Denton, about 30 miles north of Dallas. I'll be seeing my beautiful hometown for the first time in months. :)

[BUFFJEDI]

Oh yes sir :) and I soooooo miss it :(. I only moved back to N.C to play soccer, But after my injury I had planned to move back,but I didn't and now I'm stuck here for atleast another year:(.

I lived in Plano (had a rich uncle :) ) I was so living the life:). I worked a Labares (dont remember how to spell it.And I also worked down in oaklawn(MOby DICK)ONLY because the money as GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[CMJ]

Ahh yes Plano...home of the rich people. That city and Highland Park almost rival Beverly Hills in sheer opulence. :)

[BUFFJEDI]

Got that right. It amazed me IF you look a certain way there,You could get away with anything.Million dollar homes,many that makes Jon's parents house look like a poor man's.I so miss it.Of course now when I move back there I'll have to live in richardson;)I have been to many places in the USA , LA NY SA and I really find NO city as great as DALLAs. It has everything you could want.FOOD everywhere, and the Women are Just awesome and easy :D I hope it is as I remember it whenI return :(

[CMJ]

Every big city has it's own charm. Dallas definitely does. I'm not sure if it's "better" than Los Angeles(since I'm really a suburb man) but it's cool.

I actually think the coolest major city is New Orleans(or Nawlins for you Cajuns). That was a really cool place. :)

[BUFFJEDI]

MAYBE,It was just where I was at BUT i thought LA was a nasty place. And I went everywhere on NO and I really found it quite nasty.everything seemed so dirty and the people were wierd.But it has been awhile so maybe it was just the time and place ??Or maybe I was just spoiled :D

[Jedieb]

I lived in the outskirts of Dallas for a year when I was 6. My in-laws just moved in from Plano a few months ago. They certainly didn't live in the upscale part of the city, but they did have a very nice home. I loved Texas, but that area of the state is just massive urban sprawl now. I can't stand it. I'm just not a city boy anymore, even thought I was born and raised across the river from Manhattan in West New York/Union City and the concrete jungles of South Florida. But I'd definitely rank Texas as a great state. Certainly more so than a rain soaked Pacific NW state. :p

[BUFFJEDI]

Your inlaws moved closer to you??:x ;)

[Jedieb]

I LOVE my in-laws! My father-in-law was a police officer in Tampa for 27 years. He's a great guy and my wife's Mom is very nice. My wife and I love having them around. Now we get to drop the kids off every once in awhile and have a night to ourselves. Now, if MY parents moved here then we'd start booking the therapy sessions ASAP.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

GOD BLESS TEXAS! :lol what a great song. :D

And I'm so sad there are no cowboys in Texas. :( :cry

[BUFFJEDI]

:lol :lol

that's really cool to like your in-laws. Not many can say that.It's also good to have someone you trust to keep the little one's so you can have a little QT;)

[BUFFJEDI]

And I'm so sad there are no cowboys in Texas.

CMJ will put on a stetson and wranglers for you :p