To Know You More.....(Knights and or Masters)

[Xazor Elessar]

ooc: So everyone knows, this is after my journey with Marcus Q'Dunn, which is after my wedding to Shade Magus.


IC:


A young woman sat in the courtyard of the Jedi Academy. It was Xazor Dawnstrider-Magus...a Knight...a Warrior. She smiled thoughtfully as she watched a pair of birds flutter around one another and sing in melodious tones. The day was beautiful and the air was warm as it touched her skin.

Taking in a deep breath, the woman felt something new....she felt renewed. No anger or hatred....no agression or cockiness laid within her soul anymore. She seemed....pure. It was odd, but an aura of Peace seemed to take up a permanent residence around her. Today, she was not looking for a spar....a battle....or a fight. This day she was seeking knowledge. She wanted to know more of the Force...she wanted to learn more and expand on her deep knowledge and abilities. Hopefully an experienced Knight or a Master would recieve the message she left in the Temple....and come to teach a soul that was finally willing to learn more.

[Navaria Tarkin]

"I sense a burden that has been lifted from your being, Xazor."

Said a woman behind Xazor. The figure stepped forward, demure and hood drawn, but the Knight knew who this was because the voice belong to someone that the Warrior Jedi recognized all too well.

"I'm glad you are back, my friend."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor turned to face a familiar figure...a friend and mentor, Navaria Tarkin. She smiled and bowed her head in respect.

"Greetings my friend....indeed, a great burden has been lifted from my soul. I feel very different now...but it is wonderful, and I am glad to be back."

She said gently, smiling as she continued watching the pair of birds flutter and sing through the air. She turned back to Navaria and nodded once again.

"Perchance did you see the holo-message I left in the Council Chambers? I seek to learn more....I wish to expand on my knowledge of the Force and such things...for I am open and willing to be taught. Anger and pride are not standing in the way anymore..."

The young Knight said softly, knowing that Navaria could see this change as well.

[Navaria Tarkin]

Navaria smiled at the sight as well, watching the birds swoop up and down, being carried by the whims of the breeze that gave them flight.

"Yes, I did. I have come to keep a promise I gave before you left."

She sat down next to Xazor, pleased so very much in hearing that the subtle anger and regret that was hidden in her speech was all but vanished.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled brightly, glad that Navaria had recieved the message. It was good to know that she had friends whom she could trust...and who would do so much for her.

"I thank you my friend....please, teach me all that you will. I am like an empty vessel wishing to fill myself!"

The light and her previous training, of course, filled her...but this Knight wished to know more, and Navaria was an excellent teacher. She would be able to help Xazor a lot....

[Navaria Tarkin]

"And I shall."

Finally, Navaria turned to look upon Xazor without the shadows masking her face as she pulled back her hood.

"After you tell me what has happened to enlighten yourself so much. I want to know you better again."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled as Navaria pulled back her hood, the shadows falling from her face. She thought about the question for a moment, and smiled even more.

"I realized that I am loved by many here...I have few enemies, besides those of the various Sith organizations and such....and even some of then have come to respect me. They judge me not on what I have done, but on who I am at present. If that is the case....then why must I dwell on my past? Sure, it is part of who I am...but it doesn't make me. I have come to see that I am serving something greater than all of our problems combined."

She paused for a moment and thought over the time she had spent with Marcus. The mission was indeed successful....

"I am a Jedi...I teach others, and I am taught. Anger...agression, fear, hatred....these things were standing in my way, and I could not see everything. I was missing a great deal. Marcus showed me things that were pure and at peace...I desired that peace when I came here but my past held me back...until recently. Now, I am completely at peace and nothing that happens shall bring forth anger from my soul."

The Knight spoke the words as they were written on her heart. She smiled brightly and took in everything around her.....for they too seemed at peace....

[Navaria Tarkin]

"How I wish you could have understood this by believing in our words and concerns while you were still here but... It takes experience and growth sometimes to really let go of what was and embrace what is."

She smirked absently at herself.

"I learned the same lesson not too long ago under Master Leia."

Navaria looked up at the two birds flying around still, chasing and dodging each other with simple grace and ease.

Strangely, they stopped their dance and dived towards the two Knights, slowing down enough to smooth land on the ground. Both of the avians looked at the Jedi and chirped back and forth to one another, seemingly unsure. Navaria smiled at them and one of them found their courage and hopped up; landing on her leg. The other followed but found her perch on Xazor.

"I asked her..."

She began, referring to the bird.

".. if you felt comfortable with my friend here, to join us."

Gently, Navaria used the tip of her finger, careful not to use her nail, to scratch the top of the finch's head.

"Sometimes animals can sense things that aren't visible. At times I think they have embraced the Force stronger then any Jedi Master that has walked."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor nodded and smiled in agreement with what her friend said. The finch hopped up the young Knight's leg and got close enough for her to scratch the back of its head. The little creature chirpped in happiness...a beautiful song resounded from its soul.

"Oh yes, I more than agree that perhaps animals have embraced the Force stronger that any Jedi Master....they do see and understand things that even I cannot."

She said as she smiled and continued to scratch the bird's head. She thought about this for a moment, thinking there was a secret lesson in this.

"They know that I am a good person...they have not judged me and neither has anyone here...I too wish I could have seen this earlier."

She said thoughtfully, continuing to pet the soft feathers of the little finch.

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Innocence is precious and readily lost with ease. We all loose it and it depends on our inner strength to see through it properly.

Not all of us are prepared for such a time and when our eyes grow wiser .... tired, we yearn for such purity."

Navaria bowed in silent thanks to the finch and it flew off to the nearest tree.

"We can find it here. With life. Life all around us. The jungles, the gardens where we sit ... it provides a focus for the Jedi as I have learned. Granted, not all Jedi are afforded such luxuries since in the Old Republic, young beings were trained on Coruscant. In my own time living once there and here, I can feel the connection stronger with less machines and what I like to call 'background' noise involved.

Perhaps you understand this by being Garou?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor listened to Navaria's words and smiled with great understanding. The Knight felt totally connected with Nature, especially in the jungles and gardens.

"Yes, I more than understand...and it helps that I am Garou. We are taught to be one with nature, hence why I am a Mentalist and Elementist. I have bonded with Nature and call it to my aid when I am in need...."

She said softly, watching the pretty pair of finches fly off to go their own ways.....

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Good. And it is in understanding that, that I believe you find your most usefull and peaceful meditations in areas like Yavin. And if not ... focusing on the serenity that you have found in these rich forests that have life beaming from one end of the planet to the next."

Navaria looked at Xazor.

"I think that would serve you well and be a good starting point."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor nodded and smiled gently, then closed her eyes. She immediatly fell into the Force and focused on the harmony around her...within her. She fell deeper and deeper into the Force until she was in a serene meditative state.

It is so wonderful to be calm and at peace with all things.....

She said in Navaria's mind. The Knight felt bathed in the Light, completely surrounded and drowned by the Force. It was incredibly, something she had never felt so purely before.....

[Navaria Tarkin]

Yes ... it is. Being in this state, so richly immersed in the Force, it can speak to you in ways that you were too closed to hear before.

The Force is always there, waiting and watching. Looking out for those that are sensitive to its nature.

Quiet your thoughts ... Focus on nothing at all and wait. Images of the past, the present and future can arise. Hints and possible portents that may be vital to a Jedi

She cut off her mind from Xazor, taking a back seat. Navaria wanted Xazor to demonstrate that she could do this on her own first, and then she could provide gentle nudging if needed. From what the Knight knew, Xazor was more physical in nature ... being a garou and all. This specific mediation would be useful to give her calm and peace .... along with learning another trait that Jedi can have ...

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor continued falling deeper and deeper into the Force. She had never been so submerged in it before. It was an incredible feeling. She felt so strong and so at peace. The Knight opened her mind completely.....and she opened her heart as well. Suddenly an image entered her mind of.....her mother. She could not remember her but suddenly it was as if they were together again. It was a perfect picture.....Xazor was but three years old and she was sitting on her Father's lap, her Mother was teaching her something......a song. The song played in her mind over and over, making Xazor remember that time. She remembered the song and softly hummed it to herself. Her Mother was so beautiful....now Xazor looked so much like her. Her Father was so in love with her. Then suddenly the image disappeared. How she wanted to reach out and yell to her Mother....but alas, she could never remember her name since her memories were washed away.

Xazor fell out of her meditation for but a moment before she was back where she belonged. Focusing on nothing at all, her mind was completely open....and somewhat vaunerable. Suddenly an image of her.....at sixteen.....receiving the rank of Sith Knight....and the Mark of the Most High....encrypted on her left bicept. She winced in pain as the procedure took place....but took pride in what it stood for. A tall dark figure approached her and laid his hand on her head as she knelt before him. He spoke some words, but she could not hear them. Then suddenly the image vanashed. This time her breathing had increased, but she remained deep within the Force. It was almost too much.....and she was completely cut off from all others. The Knight knew that this was meant to be...so she continued to listen to the Force.

Suddenly another image entered her mind. She was sitting in her room talking with her Father.....he was doing her hair in the Garou Warrior Braids and gold coins, which she bore now....this was not too long ago. A smile danced upon her lips but the image vanashed once again. Now they seemed to be coming more rapidly. Another one came to her mind....but this time, she did not remember this happening. Her Father and Husband were off together on a mission.....their ship crashed....they lived but were hurt badly. People took them prisoner.....and then the image ended. This could not have been the future she saw.....no.....it was the present. It worried her heart but she continued and opened her mind again....to see what the Force told her now. She waited but there was nothing until suddenly a bright light flashed in her mind. She was standing before the Council...her Father was in the room as well as her Husband....and everyone looked happy. Then some words were said to her....and she spoke, but she did not know what she was saying. Suddenly there was a great applause and she was ushered off to the Bar and Grill for a......promotion party. This was not the past either, this was her future.....when someday she would be promoted to Jedi Master. A smile crossed her lips once again as the image faded. A few questions had been answered....and she wanted more....but now when she sought it.....it was not there. She searched and opened herself....though about nothing and felt completely at peace. I don't need anything....... She suddenly realized that images and answers were not what she needed.....she had what she sought. This very peace was what she needed......

[Navaria Tarkin]

Xazor probably didn't know how much time had past. A good hour did it take for her to achieve the balance that required a Jedi to delve into the Force the way Navaria had wanted her to.

Navaria did not pry into what Xazor was seeing. That was private, especially while the visions were happening. Having another presence in her mind would not only provide a distraction but also could tarnish the images that she was seeing.

She knew the moment when Xazor had begun seeing what the Force was opening up to her. The garou's eyes started to dart back and forth at things behind those closed lids. Then it stopped and Navaria could feel the relax state that Xazor brought herself into once more ...

It was then she spoke.

"Tell me ... what was it that you saw?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled gently and shook her head as she opened her eyes.

"Things that don't matter....that is what I saw. I saw things of the past...when I was a Sith....I saw things of the present that could make me worry....then I saw the future and all things worked out despite what I saw."

She paused for a moment and closed her eyes once again, falling back into the Force. It was pure and deep....she felt no worry, or anxiety.

"I saw that I don't need anything else...for what I need I already have. This peace that I have felt for the first time...that is all that I need and images....reminders of my past and hints to my future....it doesn't matter. What is in the past is passed...and what is yet to come is up to the Force. Why did it take me so long to get this?"

She questioned softly, focusing on the beautiful feeling that suddenly engulfed her persona....

[Navaria Tarkin]

"The Force reveals to us what is meant to be revealed... always at the proper time. It is not something we can readily understand but I think in a nutshell .... you weren't ready to accept the truth or embrace it."

She looked at Xazor and closed her eyes, also letting her consciousness delve into the Force ... though not as deeply as her friend had went.

"You had a lot of growing up to do ... as do we all. It is all that I can really say in answer to your question. But remember .. always in motion is the future. There could be trials ahead that you weren't made aware of or the future that you saw may not come to pass."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor nodded in understanding. She would make that future happen...she would be a Jedi Master someday. Sighing slightly, she took in the great power of the Force.....letting the deepness wrap around her soul and consume her whole self.

"Your words are wise, my friend...and I thank you for them..."

She said with a greatful smile. Navaria was such a good friend and mentor...Xazor knew that she was lucky to have her in her life.....

[Navaria Tarkin]

"You had a lot of growing up to do ..."

Navaria repeated in her mind while Xazor complimented her upon her wisdom. It actually made the Knight sorry for what she was about to do but ... she had to be sure.

And thinking about it more briefly before Navaria quickly relaxed her mind and delve into the Force ... she was pretty certain that Xazor needed to be sure as well.

Sure that the turbulent emotions that the Garou Knight was known for was under control.

Xazor was quite open to being influenced and the state she was in, relaxed and trusting in Navaria ... she would not see this coming.

A mental link was created almost instantly by Navaria. She forced Xazor to return to the past she witnessed when she alone was experiencing the visions that the Force granted her ... but with a small twist.

The armies of Sith that invaded countless worlds ... in which Xazor was part of, swarmed her vision. It was like any other planet that came under attack ...

Everywhere she looked, reptilian riders squashed the opposers all around here. Red sabres screaming through the air as victim after victim was cut apart. Others were telekinetically ripped apart from the inside out by the more powerful Sith Warlords.

It was then that Xazor realized she was not part of the invading Sith .... she was running away in fear for her life from them. Running away from the very people that she served. Xazor was coughing from the smoke she inhaled as her home was burning down, her eyes stinging from the bright hot fire!

Fear was deeply rooted into the very fiber of her being. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears so loudly that it drowned out the screams of death and rape all around her.

"MOMMA! MOMMA!"

Surprisingly she recognized the voice as her own daughter. Barely five years old, crying out for her mother to save her from the walls collapsing on top of her. The fire had made her home unstable ... it was going to come down any minute. It was why she left in such a hurry! Celiane was right behind her! How could she have lagged behind!

Between the smoke, fire and masses of bodies moving, little Celiane had tripped and fell. She was too scared to make it the rest of the way on her own!

Xazor screamed her daughter's name and tried to run after her .. before the house came down.

But .... it wasn't meant to be. The last thing she heard besides 'Momma' was the familiar hum of a sabre, a strange sensation in her gut. Then a burning sensation that was almost euphoric before death took over ....

[Xazor Elessar]

The vision hit Xazor like a ton of bricks. Not only was it shocking, but quite disturbing. Her heart lept into her throat as she saw what was happening. She didn't know if this was the past or the future....but whatever it was, she wished it not to be. She closed her eyes tighter and tighter as the words "MOMMA! MOMMA!" entered her mind. All she could think about was the little girl she saw......and then the house collapsing on her little body. Tears welled in her eyes both in the vision and at that moment. Then she heard something all to familiar. This is my fate.....

"I DIE WITH HONOR THEN!"

She said outloud, a calm and peaceful smile crossed her lips as she realized that it was so close at hand.....and she would be one with the Force.....It was as if reality and falsehood had combined. She felt the saber cut through her neck...it seemed like forever.....but finally it was over. As I fall, so did thousands by my hands. I have attoned for my sins for now....I too am dead... The words floated through her mind. The Knight actually felt physical pain for a moment.....and then fell backwards to hit the ground.

She laid there for a moment....complete blackness consumed her mind. She saw and felt nothing.....just as if she was dead. Then suddenly she opened her eyes and fell into reality. She had broken a cold sweat and her breathing was heavy. The Garou Knight brought up her hands and quickly felt around her neck, then her right hand went to her heart as she continued to breath, not realizing what had just happened.....not knowing that Navaria had caused the mental images. All she could do was lay back down on the ground and breath as she calmed herself with the Force.....

[Navaria Tarkin]

She had no idea from where the vision came but before Xazor could really focus again, the scene shifted once more ... but not too dramatically this time.

The garou was still sitting on the ground, holding at her chest but the entire garden was deserted.

"You die with honor? No ... you die as a weakling! A weakling that's a traitor you pathetic little girl!"

The malice that came from the voice penetrated her body so sharply that it caused Xazor to jerk in realization as to whom the voice was.

The memory of hearing her voice in the Force vision made it possible that this voice was recognizable.

It was her mother ...

A woman that was clad in black robes and strategically place armor, walked into full view before Xazor. It was almost looking in the mirror with minor subtleties. The hair was of the same quality but it was darker in shade. Her eyes were devoid of the touch of silver that her daughter had, but the eyes were still blue ... And full of angry and bitterness.

She watched her mother's face shine with disappointment.

"I come to retrieve you from the Jedi and I find you are one ... Let alone the prodigal daughter of one! You've forsaken me! You've forsaken our heritage!"

Strong hands grabbed Xazor and forced her to stand.

"I never thought I would hate my own flesh and blood."

The smack across her face came without warning ... It was echoed throughout the grounds and it stung so terribly.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor suddenly jerked at a familiar voice. Mother.... She thought it and said it out loud. The visions were so real, the young Knight did not know the difference between falsehood and reality anymore. Suddenly angry words were shouted in her face. Xazor couldn't believe this was her mother saying these hateful things....it hurt so badly. She was pulled up to her feet and then yelled at again, the words echoed throughout her mind so loudly, and they stung at her already wounded heart.

"Yes......I am a Jedi just like my Father, the man that you once loved. I recall once, that you too loved me...but as the tides change, so do people..."

Suddenly she was slapped hard across the face. The blow stung terribly. The Knight looked at the ground for a moment before she looked up at the woman who was her Mother. Their eyes met briefly before Xazor turned her head to the side....and offered her the other cheek.

"If it prides you to hit me....do it....worse blows have been dealt to my body...but the worst of those to my heart. Now I stand before you....a person who has shed what I once was....I was just like you....but then I found what I needed....but if this is your desire...slap me again...I offer you the other cheek...Mother..."

The young Garou continued looking the other way both in the illusion and in the physical realm....waiting for another hard slap to cross her cheek. Only time would tell the woman's reaction to her words and her own actions....

"Like I said, Mother....hit me if it prides you so....it is not the worst wound I will ever suffer in my life...."

Her voice was soft and gentle as she spoke the words. No anger backed them as she used to be. There was a day when she would not have bothered to do the right thing....there was a day when Xazor would have hit her Mother back....but that day is no more.....

[Navaria Tarkin]

Xazor's mother held a beautiful face. A face that lost its appeal for it was twisted with anger and the softness within her eyes were set ablaze from it.

It shifted fast. Becoming amused by her daughter's lack of ... concern.

"I do not upset you."

She said matter of fact. Then, her eyes lit up ... the fire had returned but the fire was dancing.

"Those days are gone?!"

Sick laughter escaped her throat as she started to walk backwards, keeping an eye on her ever loving daughter. With a delightful skip in her step, she reached behind the bush and pulled out a familiar friend of Xazor.

Soolin was bound; hands and feet. She was brutally beaten, bleeding, and barely aware that she was somehow still conscious.

"I'd offer her to you, my dearest child ..."

She picked up Soolin painfully by the hair and grinned.

"... but you don't have the stomach to finish what we started. She's was the last of her kind!!"

The sabre came out of no where and Xazor had no time to react. She didn't even feel the danger coming from her mother to warrant anything like this. The blade was seemingly made of crimson fire and was a blur ... It lopped off Soolin's head in one fell stroke ...

"AND NOW HER KIND IS NO MORE!!! GLORY AND BLOOD IS MINE!!!"

And there her mother stood, mocking her daughter in laughter and the horror that she held out to her. Soolin's head bobbing up and down with each spasm of laughter ... Her friend's body... twitching its last ounces of life ...

Making amends with the wayward Jedi meant nothing ... It accomplished nothing ... All it did was make her friend an easy target.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor turned her head and watched her Mother's every move. She was twisted and evil now....something that she never was before. How could one change so much....the Jedi Knight would never know. Suddenly the woman pulled from behind a bush...her friend, Soolin....one which she nearly killed in a battle so long ago. Xazor held a serious face, her gentle eyes resting upon those of her beloved friend.....but then suddenly a saber seemed to appear out of no where.....and her head was taken off! Xazor's heart sunk as she lunged forward to stop the madness...but it was to late.

"Soolin!"

She cried out...but the life had been taken. Xazor turned to face her mother and she shook her head. The Knight inched closer to Soolin's body and she grasped the dead woman's hand in her own.

"You take what does not belong to you....even if it brings anguish to another. But you cannot take away from me, the peace that I have in my heart. You cannot take away from me, the truth that lives in my soul. I am a Jedi, and I stand here before you knowing that is so....knowing that I will never be like you, Mother...."

She paused for a moment and looked down at the body of Soolin, keeping her emotions in check though her heart hurt from such a tradgedy. Her eyes slowly drifted up to meet those of her Mother.

"You can never make me like you by doing these things either. And may the Force have mercy upon your sad soul....for not only have you committed a transgression against yourself....but you have also committed a transgression against the Force. May the gods watch over you and protect you from harm.....and from the future I see before you that shall bring ruin to your soul....."

[Navaria Tarkin]

The vision faded from Xazor's sight. Everything was as it should be ... both of them sitting on the bench, enjoying the beautiful day. Nothing had changed at all except if one was observent enough to take note, the sun was higher in the sky ... All the images that the garou had observed was indeed all in her mind.

"Interesting...."

Navaria said, breaking the silence. The Knight was staring off straight ahead, head slightly tilted. There was a faint smile on her lips.

"... when confronted with yourself, you said you would never be like that when indeed you were once that way but ... now, you know that nothing will let you stray from the path of Light.

Interesting."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor suddenly snapped back into reality...not realizing that everything she had seen had been in her head. It was a shock to see Navaria sitting beside her under the sun, enjoying a beautiful day. Her words were even more puzzling, until Xazor thought about everything that had just happened. She remembered sitting there with her friend and then suddenly terrible images had entered her mind....then it hit her...they were only images. She smiled slightly, though still shaken. Words were hard to come by at the moment...

"Interesting...because it was me....."

She paused for a moment and said the words quietly. It was sort of a question...but not entirely. The words were spoken perhaps in an attempt for her to understand better.

"No...nothing shall take me from the path of Light....."

She was still a bit in shock and stared off into space as she spoke the words softly. Her mind was racing a mile a minute as she tried to piece together everything that she saw and felt. So much had transpired in her head...and it was difficult to separate it all from reality....

[Navaria Tarkin]

Xazor was still shaken as was evident in the manner of her speech, and rightfully so. Navaria had put the girl through so much in such a short time and watched her try and piece together all the images in her head that she weaved.

"You're trying too hard."

Standing up, Navaria walked in front of her.

"If you try and absorb everything that had happened, you are going to drive yourself mad. This is better left to meditation, wouldn't you say?"

She held out a hand.

"I hope you realize why I did what I did ..."

What Navaria did to Xazor was not pretty, nor would she wish it on anyone but sometimes you had to be tough with those you cared about. Her motivations were in seeing if Xazor had found the peace inside herself and would not stray from the path of Light. Still being a Warrior, she was susceptible to the calling of intense emotions ...

Navaria understood that immensely. Just because she did not wish to call herself a Warrior Jedi did not mean that she was not one in spirit. Her true calling was healer and mentor... fighting only when necessary. But when she fought ... Her time being with Dalethria had shown her much of the ways of fighting and intense emotion. It was through those times that Navaria had become adept in handling her emotions and realizing her potential in different ways ... When she had the chance to let them flourish.

Now she waited to see if Xazor understood that Navaria only had the Knight's best interests at heart. That she would know that it was a necessary task but one that Navaria took no pleasure in at all....

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor slowly looked up, her eyes searching those of Navaria for a moment as she shakily took the woman's hand. Standing to her feet, she nearly fell over, but then regained her balance.

"I...understand. It was necessary....I needed to face my past..."

More words could come out this time. She smiled slightly, but it quickly vanished as memories of what she had faced ran together in her mind. She shook her head and looked at Navaria.

"It was so....real...."

She said softly, furrowing her brows together as she once again tried to understand what had happened. The Knight then remembered that it would be better for meditation, so she let it go. Her eyes met those of Navaria once again and she just stood there, unsure of what to do now....she was still in a bit of shock, but so very glad inside that she had proven to herself above all, that she would not stray to the Darkside....for the Light is where she belonged...

[Navaria Tarkin]

She did not let go of Xazor's hand in fear of the poor girl falling down. With her other hand, Navaria placed it behind Xazor's back to further steady the Knight.

"I know ... It had to be real. There would be no point in the test if you would think it wasn't real. Healing isn't the only speciality that I have."

Those eyes that were latching onto her for answers caused Navaria to frown deeply. She had to close her eyes briefly to collect her own thoughts and opened them.

"You want something from me?"

The words came softly, trying to sooth away the confusion that her friend was going through. Confusion wasn't the exact word... More like dealing with the suffering emotions and feelings that Navaria had made her think had happened.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor shook her head for a moment, thinking about Navaria's words for a moment. Her eyes searched the ground for answers that were not there, then met Navaria's once again.

"I have everything I want...I am a Jedi and my past is...behind me."

Her eyes searched the beauty of where they were for a moment. She still was not fully back to what one would consider, normal. Honestly, the Knight didn't know what she wanted now.

"Perhaps we should...go to the Temple?"

A place she had not visited in some time....and when she had last, it was not so great. Xazor was still greatly confused, but it was getting better with each passing moment as reality seemed to come into focus...

[Navaria Tarkin]

"As you wish."

It was the best to leave it this way. Xazor needed time to reflect upon what happened and if she wanted to talk to Navaria later, her door was always open.

She let go of her friend's hand and laced it around her arm, leading her way towards the Temple.

"I'll make sure you get there safely."

Xazor's mind was still scattered and she was still weak, mentally exhausted. The last thing Navaria wanted was Xazor passing out along the way and injuring herself.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled slightly and walked with Navaria. She was glad that her friend was taking her to the Temple...at least she wouldn't be alone.

"Stay with me....please..."

Her thoughts seemed complete to her, but they came out in a broken sentance. She wished for her friend to stay with her while at the Temple...maybe after a little while she would be back to full normality, and they could talk. Xazor had so many questions...yet she could not think of intelligent ways to ask them.

"So...I faced myself. But why has it taken so long....and why did it take something so drastic...for me to see?"

She questioned, again the sentance was a bit broken but it made more sense than the previous one. The sun was bright in her eyes as they continued walking and she squinted slightly to keep it from blinding her momentarily. Still many thoughts raced about in her mind as she contemplated her past, present, and future....

[Navaria Tarkin]

During the time it took to get from the gardens and into the Temple proper, Xazor was still trying to grasp what had happened without clear thought. Her words were still broken.

Even so, Navaria smiled and patted Xazor's hand.

"Now what did I tell you."

She offered jokingly. Xazor felt her head become less fuzzy and all those thoughts of what occurred in her mind, trickled away. The Knight felt more at ease.

Navaria wanted her friend to have her rest and was helping her in her own little way by using the Force to relax her troubled mind gently. It was quite easy to do with Xazor being so frazzled.

"You need your rest first. Don't give yourself a headache over this. Now is a time to rest and talk of other things while I take you to your quarters."

Once inside, Navaria did pause at that.

"That is where you wanted to go, or am I mistaken. The Temple is quite large you know."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor nodded and moved from Navaria's side to sit down upon her bed. A smile crossed her lips briefly as her eyes drifted to meet those of her friend.

"Yes...this is where I need to be...."

She said softly, feeling a bit better from the time they were in the gardens. Indeed....resting and speaking of other things would help her at this moment.

"Thank you for helping me back to my room......"

[Navaria Tarkin]

"It's the least I can do."

Clasping her hands together and resting them upon her belt, she smiled. Xazor was finally loosingly up and not dweling on what happened anymore.

"Now that I've kept my promise and escorted you back to your room, did you want to be alone?"

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor shook her head slightly and looked up at Navaria. She did not wish to be a pain...but being alone did not sound so wonderful at the moment.

"Please....I'd rather not, if it isn't asking too much....."

She said softly, hoping to not appear like a child. But then she remembered that it didn't matter....Navaria was her friend and she did not have to worry about things like that in front of her. She smiled slightly, hoping her friend and mentor would stay with her....at least for a little while.

[Navaria Tarkin]

How could she not stay? This was of course aftermath of what she put Xazor through. It was her duty to make sure her friend was of sound mind.

"Of course."

She pulled up a chair to the bed from the other room and sat down. For now, Navaria remained quiet, letting Xazor choose the time to speak and what to speak about. Even if her time is remained silent with her, at least the girl was not alone.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor smiled slightly as she noted that Navaria did not leave. It made her feel better to know that she would not be alone now. The Knight was quiet for a little while, her eyes looking about her room until they came to rest upon Navaria's face.

"Were you always so sound in the Force? Did peace always hang from your aura? Or did you too have a struggle?"

She questioned, knowing that this was personal information...but she wished to know. Perhaps others would have questioned the wholeness of her mind at this point, but she was better than before and nearly completely sound in mind. Her question was simple, yet complex in all the same. She hoped that Navaria would be willing to speak openly with her, for she had meant no harm with the question......

[Navaria Tarkin]

Her eyes widen at the question. Not out of being upset by it, just surprised. Of course it did seem the way the conversation could go because of what had happened.

Navaria regained her composure and chuckled a bit. More out of how ludicrous her story was then being nervous.

"It's actually quite a strange story about how I dealt with my own personal demons."

She looked at Xazor as if looking far into her past.

"I was not a stable child and with that came a long road of pain and suffering. It took me quite some time to find my grounding when I came to the Order."

Stopping there, Navaria eyes focused once again on Xazor.

"You may see me in a different light once I tell you these things."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor nodded slightly and smiled once again, glad that someone was willing to share there past as she had. The Knight focused her attention on Navaria and showed that she was ready and willing to listen. She had never heard Navaria's story and to be honest, she did not know her very well. Hopefully that would change and they would be good friends.

"That's what I told everyone when I came here......but they only saw me as someone who needed help....and I finally found it."

That time the sentance made sense, and she was proud of herself for coming back so quickly. The Knight smiled slightly, not wishing to announce that she was proud that she had made a sentance....but instead, she became quiet again and watched Navaria as she prepared to tell her tale....



OOC: Check your PM's, please! :D

[Navaria Tarkin]

"All right."

She felt comfortable in telling Xazor since the girl was willing to explain her own troubled past to her not that long ago.

"As you know my family name is Tarkin. As in the same Tarkin that destroyed Alderaan long ago. He was my grandfather ..."

It was said with great sadness. Speaking of her Grandfather always pained her heart ... All the evil that he had done...

But Navaria moved on, not dwelling on it for that long.

"He was a genius and used his intellect to subvert alien races and those that did not want to fall under the Emperor's rule. My father on the other hand, only wished to follow in his father's steps and joined the Imperial Navy and quickly soared through the ranks."

She couldn't help but smile and shrug.

"Our family was wealthy and powerful. We had many contacts in the political and military area on Coruscant, then known as Imperial Center ... my home and place of birth. The Emperor even held our family in great esteem. It was he that gave my father the position on the first Superior Star Destroyer, The Executor, under the command of Lord Vader."

It was quite a mouthful and the Jedi stopped. There was a lot to take in and so much to absorb for Xazor who knew nothing of her past. Navaria waited incase she wanted to ask any questions.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor listened intently as Navaria spoke. Her past was very interesting....it was as if a history book full of untold things had been handed to her. Smiling, she bowed her head slightly.

"Please continue...."

The Knight said softly, grasping most of what Navaria had said. It would be interesting to see where this led them in their conversation....


ooc: Sorry it's been so long since I posted to this. And sorry this post is so crappy....it's been a long day. :zzz

[Navaria Tarkin]

Navaria smiled thinly, happy to continue but not happy about the truths she spoke.

"Everyone that remembers history knows this part.

My Grandfather died on the first Death Star from the shot that Luke Skywalker fired. My father .."

Her voice still betrayed much sorrow for her father's death. They were close, closer then most children to a father that served the military.

"... he died as well, at the Battle of Endor."

She collected her thoughts, not wanting to dwell on the past. Xazor wanted to know about her, not watch her fellow Knight star into the corner remembering days long since passed.

"But, it was at the Battle of Yavin, that things ... changed. Father was away as always and my mother was the one that delivered the news of Papa's death.

Looking back now, it seems so clear, but then, I was but a child and didn't know any better. I was upset, saddened, angry and vengeful. My love for my Grandfather was strong and powerful and I cursed the Rebellion that day for his death.

It was a remarkable day.. The death of my Grandfather was the birth of my ... Sister ... so to speak."

Blue eyes sternly looked at Xazor so she would understand how significant this was for Navaria in telling her this story.

"It was the birth of Dalethria."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor listened intently and she could see the sorrow in her friend's eyes. Perhaps Navaria did understand her more so than she ever gave her credit for.....perhaps that is why she was such a good mentor to her.

The next words out of her fellow Knight's mouth shocked Xazor and quickly kicked her back into reality. Dalethria.....Dalethria Mal Pannis?! she thought to herself, nearly speaking the words outloud. She had met that woman before...and she was one to stay away from.

"You're sisters....with.....her?!"

The Knight questioned with sheer disbelief. She did not understand how someone so evil could be related to sweet Navaria. She shook her head, still absorbing the fact....but she could tell that there was much more significance in her words. She had things yet to tell Xazor...so the Knight nodded for her to continue....

[Navaria Tarkin]

Navaria knew that would have gotten a reaction from Xazor. The usual one unfortunately.

"Isn't it obvious? Think about it."

Xazor may not have put a finger on it until perhaps now, but thinking about Dalethria.. If she wore her hair down, was not so pale .... The eerie frozen anger that was set in her eyes...

Navaria and Dalethria could pass as twins. Very easily.

"Think about it ... Don't you sense something odd with me. Most Jedi do but do not really focus on it too long because of who I am."

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor's jaw dropped when she looked at Navaria more closely. A mental image of Dalethria visited her mind...and she compared the two. No.... the word ran through her mind as she thought of what this meant. She recalled Vega and the woman whom she had thought was his twin....was his clone. She quirked a brow and shook her head as she narrowed her eyes to study her friend.

"You're......her clone?"

She whispered the last words. It was so unbelievable to her...she did not know what else to say. Instead, she just nodded for the continuance of Navaria's story....

[Navaria Tarkin]

"Yes and no ... In answer to your question."

She opened her mouth to explain but stopped.

"I think ... we'll get to that later. That is a story all by itself how Dalethria and I became ... separated."

Xazor had that confused look again.

"To return back where I left off. Because of the emotional trauma that happened to me as a child, I ... created ... a playmate. I named her after one of my childhood books that I loved to read. That name was Dalethria. I'd talk to her openly as if an invisible friend and sometimes in my mind... all by myself. Dalethria would take my pain away. The pain of loosing my grandfather and my father. She took my anger and vengeance away. Everything that I hated about what happened to my family ... I just basically pretended it did not bother me ... But, it did.

Dalethria was just the one that had to bare the burden. Little did I know how real she was ...."

Navaria furrowed her brows in thought.

"Not sure when it happened but soon there were two voices in my head. One was myself and the other was Dalethria. As a child, I couldn't tell the difference. It was just my voice so of course I thought it was just me talking differently...."

Sighing, she looked to Xazor.

"... instead of making an imaginary friend, I created a monster."

And then she wondered what her fellow Knight thought about this.

"She was not always bad but there is only so much pain you can endure. Even ... Even if you are just a personality created by a mournful child that could not accept death and reality."

Navaria couldn't help but feel a sense of deja vu in all this... Like she was telling this all over again but differently. While she was searching Xazor for any hint, she noticed the wedding ring and a mental light went on.

She told this story to Shade. Just not as detailed because she knew Xazor better.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor lofted a brow at the first words Navaria spoke. Throughout her whole telling, Xazor couldn't believe it. They came to a point where Navaria stopped telling the story...and Xazor had to nearly lift her jaw from the ground.

"So....you created....you created Dalethria? How did she...you know...."

Then it began to click in her mind. She shook her head and looked at Navaria again for a moment, unsure if her thoughts were correct.

"Wait....did she take over your body? And then....they cloned her and got you?"

This was all too confusing for Xazor, especially after just facing some pretty terrifying things in her own mind. She had never known any of this about Navaria. It was odd to see her sweet and innocent friend in a dark light....

[Navaria Tarkin]

"I created an imagainary playmate like all children do.... Perhaps it was my fault in denying my pain, perhaps it was the force but somehow what I was in control of became in control of itself."

She sighed.

"I never purposely created Dalethria to be evil... but that is the end result of a child having to absorb anger and hatred. The only feelings they ever really knew or understood were those and that made her quite powerful over me own shattered and delusional mind.

I was not strong enough to fend her off and she became dominant ... My own existance was shoved far back into my mind. I was such a scared child that it was easy to overpower me.... My fear became my prison as Dalethria was free to do whatever she wanted... trying to prove to me that her was right...

Why hide my emotions when they can give me such power?"

Poor Xazor was listending patiently while waiting for the explanation of how she was inside a clone body. This was going to take awhile and it was best to start a the beginning.

"Have you ever heard of the Royale Order of Sith? Not the Rogue Sith Order led by Havok ... This was a group started by Hera and Eve. Oh, and bare with me. This will explain the clones."

Xazor noticed the word clones. Plural. Also, the Knight probably hadn't heard of them but at least it would be a good basis for her story.

[Xazor Elessar]

Xazor was just beginning to understand when the story took another turn. The Knight put her head in her hands and shook it.

"No, I have never heard of that group.....but please tell me more. This is intriguing and by me understanding you.....perhaps I will see how it is you understand me so well.....that would help....."

The Knight smiled wryly and waited for Navaria to continue telling her winding tale....