Hiding the past

[Evi Hawke]

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance,
for a break that would make it okay,
there's always one reason to feel not good enough,
and it's hard at the end of the day...

No matter how hard he tried, and God knows how he tried, the past just never went away. He couldn't erase it. He couldn't erase her.

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
theres vultures and thieves at your back
the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack

Reaching for his wallet, Evi pulled out the creased picture of his mother Blake. He hated her. There were no other words to describe it. Well there were some. Loathe. Disgust. He hated everything about her, everything she'd done. Angrily he tore the picture in half, and then in half again. He kept tearing until there was nothing but tiny scraps of the photo. It didn't erase anything. But it hid it.


it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

[Azhure Darkstone]

:;Azhure turned her head to a sudden feeling of hate the emitted into the room. Looking around she spotted someone with a torn photogrpah and wondered what had happened::

Anything wrong?

[Evi Hawke]

Evi looked up, startled from his thoughts. He gazed at the woman who had asked for a moment, not knowing what to say. There was something wrong but he couldn't, wouldn't rather, say so. Instead he gathered up the torn scraps and put them into his pocket, burying his true feelings farther.

"Not anymore."

No. not anymore. As long as he kept things hidden, as long as no one found out, it would be okay. He could keep it up, the hiding. It was part of a schedule, something solid that he could concentrate on. Something that lessened chaos from entering into his life. It was organized, as it should be. There was no point in expressing his feelings-- it was wrong to do so.

"I'm Evi Haw-- I'm Evi. May I ask your name?"

[Azhure Darkstone]

Azhure.

::She felt somethign wrong but did not say anything. Sometimes it was better not to ask if the person didnt want to share.
She nodded to the bartender for two drinks and looked around::

Have you just joined?

[Evi Hawke]

"The Jedi? Yes, just now actually. I came here to try and recuperate from the awful food on the transport."

Evi chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.