Airplane movies suck...

[Charley]

Okay...on my way to California, I watched Gosford Park.

Wow...that movie is lame. Okay, I'm moderately sentient, and I know its a "class struggle" movie...but in the middle of it all, it turns into CLUE. Yes, the movie about a board game...redux! Why was this movie nominated for best picture???

I didn't think it could get any worse.

Oh my God I was so wrong.

I watched the Shipping News on the way home. Kevin Spacey, Judy Dench, Kate Blanchett, etc. Sounds like a possible winner.

No! Not only is it bad...but its probably the worst movie I've ever seen. Worse than even "From Dusk Till Dawn". Worse than "The Blair Witch Project". Worse than "On Golden Pond".

The. Worst. Movie. Ever.

[JMK]

:lol

Well they filmed the Shipping News in Newfoundland, and you know what they say about newfies. Oh, wait, maybe Americans don't know. Ok, well basically, they're mocked in the same way blondes are. Could that be why it stinks so much LL?

[Charley]

In the immortal words of Ben Affleck:


-DO-NOT-SWEAR--DO-NOT-SWEAR--DO-NOT-SWEAR--DO-NOT-SWEAR-ing Miramax!

I think thats the reason.

[Nupraptor]

:lol

Actually, I quite like Miramax. They put out The Crow, Princess Mononoke, Pulp Fiction and a few other gems.

And hey - at least you *got* movies... they didn't play anything on the way back to Miami. :|

[Sejah Haversh]

I've not seen either, and have no desire to.

At least we had decent movies on my last plane flight long enough to have a movie. (Two years ago) Erin Brokovich, The Hurricane, and The Whole Nine Yards. I hated The Whole Nine Yards, the acting was terrible, and none of the jokes were funny.

The Hurricane was boring, and, I'm not even going to comment on Erin.

[CMJ]

To say I was disappointed in ""Gosford Park" would be an understatement. It wasn't bad...it just wasn't good...at all. While I did not HATE it, I was less than impressed.

[JonathanLB]

I didn't "HATE" it as in it didn't actually p*ss me off or anything, in the way that Mulholland Drive did (because it had potential, so it's like a wasted opportunity to me), but Gosford Park is HORRIBLE trash nonetheless. How it got a best picture nomination I have no idea. I totally agree with you, LL, that movie blew chunks big time.

I was trying to give it a chance as a critic, you know, trying to understand where it was coming from, but ultimately I didn't care about any of the characters, there were way too many of them for us to get much of an insight into any of them either, and it was ultimately among the top 25 most boring movies I have ever seen.

I am sorry that The Shipping News was not better. I will probably avoid that for quite some time, until it's one of the few movies I haven't seen it ;) LOL.

[Sanis Prent]

Never watch that movie, Jon. Its like the machine from the Princess Bride, it only sucks years off your life.

[JonathanLB]

Ok, ok, I will never watch it! lol. I will try to remember specifically not to see it.

Gosford Park had me looking at my watch at least 20 times, mostly towards the last hour. It was painful.

Even ask my mom, who liked the movie, about the guy behind us who was snoring!!! He literally fell asleep in the theater and snored through the last hour.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

*makes a mental note to avoid Shipping News and Gosford Park like the plague*

[Marcus Telcontar]

On the trip over to NZ there The Shipping News. AWFUL

On the trip back from NZ, there was Ameile. BORING.

Thank god for DVD laptops

[CMJ]

I must respectfully disagree on Amelie. ;)

[Jedieb]

I thought this was going to be a thread trashing the Airplane movies starring Robert Hayes. BLASPHAMY!!! And don't call me Shirley. ;)

[CMJ]

"An urgent note from a SW messageboard what is it?"

"It's a place where people sit around and post threads regarding movies, but that's not important right now!"

Those films are classics...especially the first one. :)

[ReaperFett]

And Shatner with his shushing doors :)

[Jedieb]

You know, the second was a bit weak, but practically everything Shatner did was hilarious. But as good as he was, Robert Stack was funnier. Every time I see him beat the crap out of Hari Crishnas(sp?) I laugh hysterically.


"An urgent note from a SW messageboard what is it?"

"It's a place where people sit around and post threads regarding movies, but that's not important right now!"
:lol :lol

"Young Padawan, have you ever seen a grown Jedi naked?"

[CMJ]

Stack beating all those guys up is my favorite part. :)

Oh by the way...your line...LMAO...that even topped mine. I gotta think of an even better reply. ;)

"My dad says you're kinda lazy and never try unless it's a Sith"

"THE HELL I DON'T! Look, I'm out there bustin' my butt EVERY NIGHT. Tell your old man to try to settle trivial trade disputes all the time."

[Jedieb]

This is how I envisioned this thread...:cool

"Wait a minute! I know you. You're Samuel Jackson. You played a junkie in Jungle Fever."
"I'm sorry son, but you must have me confused with some-one else. My name is Mace Windu. I'm a Jedi Master."
"You are Sam Jackson! I've seen all your movies. My dad's got all of them on DVD."
"I think you should go back to your seat now Joey. Right Yoda?"
"Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, bother anyone he is not, stay here we should let him."
"But just remember, my name is MACE WINDU. I'm a Jedi Master."
"I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you've sold out. He said once you started doing commercial movies like Die Hard 3 and Shaft, you turned your back on your craft. He even says Deep Blue Sea was a sell out and that you should be ashamed of yourself. Now he thinks you don't even try to act."
"The hell I DON'T ( grabs boy by collar ) LISTEN KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was in independent films. I'm out there busting my buns on every movie. Tell your old man to act in front of blue screen and make it seem believable!"
"Joey, like movies about Gladiators do you, hmmmm?"

Every once in a while I write something I'm truly proud of. This is one of those moments.:smokin

[CMJ]

ROTFLMAO...I can't beat that...but lemme try another one. :)

"I've got to concentrate... [Anakin's thoughts echo] concentrate... concentrate... I've got to concentrate... concentrate... concentrate... Hello?... hello... hello... Echo... echo... echo... Obi's holding me back ... back ...back ....back"

A lame try...I admit...I can't beat that Eb. :)

[Mu Satach]

:lol

Love Airplane. :)

[Jedieb]

No, no, CMJ, don't say that. I love that "concentrate" line. LOL it made me, really did. This is fun, let's see....

"Alright, now we know what we're up against. Every Jedi named Skywalker who had fish for dinner will begin violently whinning at some point in their teenage years." ( I wanted to go to Toshi station with Biggs and Tank! It's all Obi-Wan's fault! He's holding me back!)
"Just how serious is it Doctor?"
"Extremely serious. It starts with a minor complaint and babbling of the throat. When the virus penetrates the midichlorians, the Skywalker becomes dizzy and begins to have delusions of grandeur. ("You'll find I'm full of surprises." "I'm a slow learner.") They challenge Dark Side Masters who could school them easily. Then the poison goes to work on the central nervous system, limbs are lost, and then severe muscle spasms followed by the inevitable grueling. At this point, the entire digestive system collapses accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence and even more pathetic whinning; "Father..., please!!!!" "Yoda, do something before this evil old bastard cuts off my other arm!" Until finally, the poor bastards are reduced to a quivering, one handed wasted pieces of jelly."

That one wasn't as good, but, you get what you paid for!
:D

[CMJ]

Pilot: "My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're attacking the Death Star at 1800 hours. We're coming in shallow to avoid their big guns. They can't take out small man fighters."

Girlfirend: "When will you be back?"

Pilot: "I can't tell you that. It's classified."

[Jedieb]

:lol

Allright, the gauntlet has been thrown down. Let's see what the old man can do...
Yoda on his way to the Jedi Council Chamber
Zealot1"Excuse me, we'd like you to have this flower ( Yoda calmly drops his cane, Force Pushes the man, and begins picking up his pace)
Zealot2 : Excuse me sir, would you . . . ( Yoda ignites his lightsaber and cuts off one of his ankes )
Zealot2 : Donations for the Reverend Moon? ( Yoda leaps over his head while gracefully lopping off both of his arms )
Zealot3 : Jews for Jesus? ( Yoda turns off his lightsaber and Force Pushes him through a window in the Jedi Temple sending zealot3 plummeting to his death ) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Zealot4 : Read about Jehovah's witness? ( Yoda leaps up and head butts him, causing his head to explode)
Zealot5 : How about Buddhism? ( Yoda leaps off the body of the guy he just head butted, reignites his lightsaber and cleaves zealot5 in half )
Zealot6 : Help Jerry's kids? ( Yoda tunrs off lightsaber, tosses it in the air, jumps up, lands on the man's shoulders, catches the lightsaber, ignites it, then drives the blade into his skull)
Zealot7 : Scientology? (Yoda jumps off the zealot's shoulders, lights upon a 30 meter tall Jedi statue, does a triple back flip off of it and lands upon the zealot7's shoulders while he decapitates him with one graceful slash.)
Zealot8 : Avoid nuclear power? (Yoda turns off lightsaber, leaps into the air as zealot7 slumps to the floor, puts his ligtsaber back onto his belt, then unleashes a volley of Force Lightning against the nuclear power advocate that drives him against a nearby wall )
Zealot9, turns away in fear.
Yoda calmly calls his cane back to his hand and then slowly walks to the Jedi Council Chamber.

Sure, it would add another $20M to the budget, raise some Force Lightning issues, and possibly cost us a PG rating, but it'd be WORTH it!

[Jedieb]

With that little gem, I'm calling it a night. There's no school tomorrow and I'm going to take both the kiddies to day care and then sneak off to see AOTC. Goodnight folks! :cool

[CMJ]

Holy Cow Eb...that was FANTASTIC...hmmm lemme see here. :)

"Well, it's a big pretty white fighter with a red stripe, guns on the wings, a place for a droid in the back, and it just looks like a big Tylenol!"

Not as good...but funny. :)

[Marcus Telcontar]

The poodoo gonna hit the fan for this one....

[JonathanLB]

Have fun at AOTC, EB!! :)

"On the trip back from NZ, there was Ameile. BORING."

Well, I agree with you Marcus. I totally agree. It was BORING beyond belief. It's not that it was a terrible, insulting film, but any movie that boring is just unacceptable. My dad and I were insanely bored by it, but my old French teacher (I went to visit high school today, lol) really liked it, my Philosophy teacher (a guy) from LMU loved it, and my mom liked it. I still think it's mostly a chick flick. Not to say guys can't like it, just that girls like it MORE than the guys seem to, at least in my experience.

I personally thought it was horribly dry and boring. There was basically no plot there and the characters didn't interest me in the slightest.

[JMK]

2 Girls here at work saw and loved it. They're the only 2 that saw it.

[CMJ]

I couldn't wait for the old man, so I'm throwing another one up there for him to battle. Since his are usually funnier me having 2 shouldn't be a problem. :)

Yoda: Tell you something I am, all these years I've kept to myself. Mmmm hmm a Jedi I was in the clone wars. One night a badly wounded Jedi they brought in from one of the battles. At me he looked and said, "Yoda, the odds were against us up there, but we went in anyway. I'm glad. ObiWan made the right decision." Mace Windu that Jedi was.
Obi Wan: Mace Windu said that?
Yoda: Mmmm hmmm, at me he looked said to me he did, "Yoda," he said, "Some time, when the Jedi are up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, tell 'em to get out there and give it all they've got. And win just one for the Bad Mother F#$%r. I don't know where I'll be then Yoda, he said. But I won't smell too good, that's for sure."


Okay...bring it Eb. ;)

[JMK]

I think I'll rename this thread "Masterpiece Theater"! :lol

[CMJ]

LOL, more like "CMJ vs Jedieb...the quote wars" ;)

[Jedieb]

I like JMK's idea so I've started a thread we can all have fun with. We've kind of hijacked this thread and I hate it when that happens. I hope everybody gets into the spirit of things. Writing this stuff is a lot of fun. I'll copy some of my posts from here to the new thread, you do the same CMJ.

[CMJ]

Okay, make sure and read my last one. ;)