An Explaination

[Sage Hazzard]

I want to apologise first and foremost for my rudeness. Leaving without notification, especially if you're a Jedi Master, leaves many confused. Padawans go Masterless, RPs are wrecked, and buddies are left in the cold. Since I didn't notify a soul about my absence, no one knew when I'd return, or if I was even gone. So I must apologise, and perhaps explain. It won't make much sense though.

I'm a perfectionist. This is not anyone's fault but my own, I hate being subpar. In the fourth grade(first time I attended public school) I made my first non 100. It was a 95, I cried. This same commitment to excellence is what wrecked me while Roleplaying. I'd try and post every day, in every roleplay, with every character. At the same time I scrambled to maintain a working EZBoard with constant changing graphics(perfectionism) and make signatures for any wanting online user. My alternate names were and are as follows:

Sage Hazzard
Vice Hazzard
Avolon Bisel
Syrius Cline
Mercery Oracle
Kanon Krowe

My brother played Cypress Oracle and D'Mourning Orb. Now days he doesn't Roleplay either because of mainly the same problems. Plus he didn't have an interest in Star Wars to begin with.

Trying to juggle all these things caused me to neglect my studies, my writing(which is my goal in life, to be a writer), my social life, and my body's health. I'd get on at all times of the day, even 'till 2:00 in the morning. Now, that's not extremely healthy. Especially since that meant I slept until 12:00, then had three hours to do school work. Just doesn't translate to a good ruitine.

Anyway, I'm probably coming back soon. Maybe a week, a month, or maybe tomorrow, who knows? It all depends on when I have a good state of mind. When I do come back, I won't be exerting myself as much. I won't roleplay with all my characters 24/7. I won't be posting daily in every topic if it interfers with my personal life. In fact, I might start a new character and play him/her only. Don't worry, I most likely will inform everyone of who I'm playing. This isn't about secrecy, it's about starting fresh. Oh, and I'll still make signatures. Just for people I like. Yes, it's bias. I just have to be selective so I can maintain my time well. If I think you're hip than I have no problem doing a favor for you. Making graphics for every Tom and Harry is out of the question.

I don't expect anyone to understand or forgive me. I just wanted to express myself. Call me crazy but I like it when people have insight on me.

Thanks to anyone who reads this for taking the time out of your day. I might not check this message often, so thanks for any kind or unkind words you might offer to me. <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/image/emoticons_classic/smile.gif ALT=":)">

[Seth Darkserpent]

Remember the first rule about roleplaying...The first or most important, whichever.

Real life always comes first

<img src=http://www.thegjo.com/forum/smileys/magtongue.gif ALT=":p">

Don't worry, I understand everything you said in that post. Hope to see you back on the scene soon, but take your time. <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/image/emoticons_classic/smile.gif ALT=":)">

[Thanatos VanDerveld]

;; notices the striking resemblance ;; Would you like me to change signature pics or ... ? <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/image/emoticons_classic/laugh.gif ALT=":lol">

ANYWAY - No worries, Sage. Take all the time you need - I'm sure everyone here will understand.

[Satine Capashen]

Yeah, don't worry buddy. We all have Real Life too, don't we pplz?!

[Maia Shadoe Tharrinn]

I haven't met you yet but everything you said is very understandable and we have probably all been in your place at one time or another. So good luck an I hope you come back soon and will have found the peace of mind you were in search of. <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/image/emoticons_classic/smile.gif ALT=":)"> I'm sure all these great people will be here to welcome you back with opens arms and rps lol

[Sage Hazzard]

Thanks everyone. I thinking up my character now. His personality is vauge but I'm thinking Guy Pearce is no one has an attachment to his picture already. I was also thinking George Clooney or Bruce Cambell, but I think I should leave those untouched as homage to the Fettster. Or if Remy isn't using Jude Law, I'd love him. I'm thinking outloud now, ignore me. But if anyone does have info on Remy's attachment to Jude, I'd like the 411 so to speak. I'm not sure if he's changed character pics or not. Or if anyone has Jude's likeness.

Thanatos, go ahead and keep for now. Sage won't be coming back untill a little while after my OOC return anyway, so the character is in limbo as we speak. It'd be nice of you to stop using it when he does come back, but I don't really mind or care. If you don't mind having the save signature pic as me, I don't mind. I've never really seen the big problem with sharing the same picture, as long as it doesn't get out of hand. Just say our characters look a bit alike, who cares, it's make believe.

Thanks for the support pals. All of your warm sentiments are well received by me. Thanks.

[Vega Van Derveld]

I don't think Remy really roleplays here at SWfans anyway.

[Nichos Marr]

Yeah. He pops in a few times if at all, anymore.

[Aura Allei]

From one perfectionist to another, I hear ya Sage. I also hate to make a subpar post. I have been in a writer's slump for some time now, but just do the best I can. The truth is, perfectionism can be conceived as a vague concept, as each one strives to be their best, who is to say a post isn't perfect..

I am my worst critic..I am sure the same goes for the majority..

Don't beat yourself up. I have viewed a training thread of yours. You have a unique gift of writing and RPG skills, and have no doubt you shall be an aspiring novelist in time.

RPG as well as the internet can be addicting, so one must be aware of its hooking nature. I rp on 4 boards, but only use 2 characters at the Forums, and 1 character for each group. If you play too many characters, it will make you crazy, and take up alot of your rl time. As a writer, you no doubt need practice in multiple roles, but you can do that in your own personal writing, not internet RPG.

On the boards, it can be overwhemling to reply to and start numerous threads, let alone accomplish this in multiple nics. Take your time, and just enjoy yourself. Some of the best writers are obsessive compulsive in their tireless pursuits of perfectionism, as it takes tremendous dedication, time, and creative skills to be a writer. <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/image/emoticons_classic/smile.gif ALT=":)">

I am no stranger to that disorder. (OCD) My talkcity RPG leader is a perfectionist and an OCD person. My Dad is, and he strives too hard with his digital camera hobbies.

Just take it easy Sage, we all look forward to your return. We haven't met OOC or IC, but I hope this post is a good start. <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/image/emoticons_classic/smile.gif ALT=":)">

Aura

[Sage Hazzard]

Thanks. Even though I try to be perfect, it doesn't show. My writing has sucked for the longest time. By that I mean my RPing. This is mainly because I hate Sage's character. He was my first character on the boards(2 years ago)and he was/is bland as warm milk. I got him to Masterhood though, god only knows how. I think it was because although he was bland, I atleast knew how to fight with him. Oh well... At that time I had only written a terribly immature comedy script. It's funny, but it's not to be taken seriously. I'd love to tell everyone my movie ideas now(hint hint), for I love talking about myself. lol. I'm actually pretty young, so I do have time for improvements to be made. Even though I know I have a long way to go before even considering being taken seriously, I hope everyone doesn't judge my ability on Sage's writings. All his posts are done in under 2 minutes, without thought.

If you really want to read my best work, look for Kanon Krowe's posts. I'm going to bring him back, probably soon. He's more enjoyable to write for than all of my characters put together. Avolon, Syrius, Sage, they're all speaking parts. They don't have elaborate discriptions and colorful wordings. They're one liners, so to speak. Kanon has a sort of elegant grace, I like to think. I stopped writing for him because of debates I got in OOC with him. But I decided to forget all that and bring him back. I relised alot of people's arguments were right and I can make changes to adjust his character accordingly. He's actually based on a character in one of my better scripts, no joke.

In short, I'm getting back to the fun side of writing. And I want to thank everyone for putting up with the shallow characters I have portrayed. I'm now making characters with depth, like any character should have. I have no clue how I wasn't stoned to death for even thinking Sage could become a Master.... Forgive me, I'm writing to much again. <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/image/emoticons_classic/smile.gif ALT=":)">

To all my friends, don't feel you have to post here. I know you support me, I know you're glad I'm back, it goes without saying. So don't think I won't know that just because I don't see it in writing. I just wanted to say all the things in this thread to explain myself to others, and therefor get clearity on myself. Thank you. <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/image/emoticons_classic/smile.gif ALT=":)">

[Crono katon]

welcome back Sage