Confirming faith (Elieen)

[Anbira Hicchoru]

:: Anbira sat at his table, alone as he drank his hearty mead. He set his glass down, pondering as he pressed the end of a well-worn zansanar sprig into the corner of his mouth. He sifted through his memories he had gained...hoping for insight into an old friend, now seemingly long departed from this place.

Marcus Q'Dunn was the fist Jedi he had known. He'd first met defeat at his hands, and in turn, salvation. Though the feelings were vacant, it was a history known well to the aged Jedi. And now, he was vanished without a trace. Yet, the Force often left whispers behind. On the wind, on others. Nothing was absolute in that sense.

It was a mystery the Jedi pondered well. ::

[Elieen Cross]

"Look, I dont really care..... Devit, I dont give a frelling @#%$! Can you get that clear in your tiny mind? Now if I dont have that ammunition bought to me I will personally remove your bowels with my pike and use them for decorations..... No Devit, I'm not kidding. I dont make jokes. Do it"

I slammed the portable comm unit onto my table, thoughly annoyed. I hated petty datapushers and their procedures. I personally didnt carry the rank to really get things done.... but my reputation as someone short tempered and more than capable of creating a red smear where a person was before was spreading. I had heard it was much like what Tohmahawk was known for - except it was more frightening coming from a woman. It seemed males just didnt expect a female to be so capable of handing their backsides to them in pieces and hence I was building a real reputation.

My dinner arrived by way of a servant droid, which did brighten my mood. Steamed vegetables and a side serving of some sliced meats. Taking up the kinfe and fork, I set in, realising I was quite hungry.

[Anbira Hicchoru]

:: He watched a woman enter. Not just any, to be sure. Though he did not know her, he knew of her enough. Helenias Q'Dunn, Marcus' wife. With Anbira's current thoughts drifting into the realm of that particular enigma, it seemed as good a time as any to get to know her. A slight gesture from his hand, and her trays lifted off the serving droid, floating through the air, not to her table, but to Anbira's directly across from him. The Jedi rose, smiling politely ::

Won't you be so kind as to give an old man company?

[Elieen Cross]

And as I was about to brgin eating, my trays floated away. Oh great, a practical joker. I glacied around...

"Won't you be so kind as to give an old man company? "

Well, I had to give him points for style. Anhira Hicchoru, although I had never spoken to him as a Jedi, I knew of him well. One person I could respect and definantly not a joker. This meant he had something on his mind a wished to speak. I got up and walked over, placing herself in the seat opposite. Taking up my fork, I speared a sprout, eating it before speaking.

"That was a different way to ask me here"



I

[Anbira Hicchoru]

I may be considered morose and decrepit when my back is turned, but I manage humor when it is befitting. Prerogative of age.

:: Anbira smiled, seating himself as well ::

You are Marcus' wife, yes?

[Elieen Cross]

I dropped my fork in surprise.

"How in the Force did you know that?" I managed to splutter. "Only Morgan and Xazor know!"

As far as I was aware, hardly anyone knew the General that had sat in this place up to a few months ago was a Jedi. I hadn't even known that, not till after his death did I find out the truth.

Or maybe I had told someone else, I reconsidered. Grief had a way of blurring the memory.

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Wisdom and wizardry, madam. The Force sees some things. Thoughts, emotions, memories. The eyes confirm in turn. I've heard you pining for him in my mind. Thoughts so strong I can hardly sleep at night.

:: Anbira removed the sprig of zansanar from his mouth ::

I've known the man for many years. A far cry longer than anyone here, I must say. Yet his absence now is a mystery that perplexes me terribly.

[Elieen Cross]

time line wise my answer is goign to depend if this conversation takes place before or after Stone Cold in Love at SWForums. My answer will be different. Time base is 20th December, which was the dissappearence. 3 months on is the beginning of Stone Cold, which runs IC for two weels.

Please let me know.

[Anbira Hicchoru]

I've heard you pining for him in my mind. Thoughts so strong I can hardly sleep at night.

I thought this clarified it as being post SC. Hope it helps.

[Elieen Cross]

Pining?

My heart felt like it was in my mouth. What had Anbira heard? It seemed like my heart and my desire had dropped my guard, I so desperatly wanted to see him for myself.

"I.... " I choked, trying to hold back tears. "I... dont know. He was supposed to have died in an Imperial ambush and yet he was seen, only a week ago. I know it was him... I felt his presence in the Force before I had a chance to see for myself."

I gathered myself, took a deep breath, before continuing.

"I havent felt that presence for 10 years... but it's different. He's changed and what those who saw him tell me he's..... grown. I dont know, I'm only a loney woman wanting a dream, wanting what is gone. I dont know why he doesn't come back... "

"I dont think he wants to see me again. I was lost a long time ago to him and I think he's closed that chapter of his life and doesnt want to open it again. I dont know, I cant explain why he doesnt come back"

There, I had said it. My deepest fear. I had felt him in the distance, I knew it was him, but.... the changes. He felt... sadder and burdened. The Jedi that had seen him said he seemed to carry a great burden or weight.

I wish I could see his face again so I would know for sure.

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Then it is confirmed. I too, have felt his presence. Here. Around us. Yet far away. I sense wheels within wheels. Faces and shadow.

:: Anbira focuses his attentions on Eileen, using basic calming techniques to assist her in focusing her mind ::

I do not know the circumstances of his alleged demise, but we must go to the scene. Mysteries abound which are yet unseen.

[Elieen Cross]

"All you will find at the scence of his disappearence is snow and wreckage. Maybe bodies. Nathan West already investigated. He was definantly ambushed and he must have been badly wounded, because he left several objects behind... which he would never do so. Someone has since quietly retrieved those objects from where they were taken and made them vanish, or so I have found out in the last days"

I sighed. This was hard.

"If you want my advice, there is a deserted planet where The Sith Empire held a base, years ago. While he was to all of us Tohmahawk / Hunter, he would go there to be alone. If he's really alive... that's where I would look first"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Yet you have not?

:: Anbira was curious ::

Are you hesitant at what you may find?

[Elieen Cross]

"Yes I am. I'm certain he now knows of my survival - so why has he not come here?"

"If he doesn't want to be found, he wont be. For two years he existed right under our noses and for longer than that, he's been faking who he was. Even I couldn't realise the truth until whatever happened for him to leave without a trace. And besides..."

I had say it, though it hurt me dearly.

"... What if he does want anything to do with me? He hasn't come back here and he hasn't contacted me. Dont you think if he considered himself still my husband, he would at least call?"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

That is a presumption I am not at liberty to make. The deeds of the heart are mysterious.

No...I do not believe he would abandon you.

He never abandoned me. Though I betrayed him often, to avenge my past.

[Elieen Cross]

"Then explain why, if he knows I live and he knows I am he... why has he not returned?"

But now thinking....

"He hated the Jedi, Anbira. I blieve that's the reason no one worked out the truth. He hated the Jedi and what they stood for in the last few years, he hated their inaction and persistance at navel gazing and a self saucing society. Those are Tohmahawk's direct words that he spoke to me. He as Hunter killed the Jedi he hated the most, a clone of himself that for some reason three years ago replaced him in the order. Can you understand that, he disliked the Jedi Order enough that he would leave a clone of himself in place, fooling everyone and then pursue the course he believed was right? Have you any idea what a cosmic joke the Jedi that is so revered here was in the end an insane clone that was executed on a dead planet and then torched? Believe me, if it suited what he saw he needed to do, he would go to extraordinary lengths to make sure he could not be interfered with."

I put my fork down and looked away, staring into space.

"No, if he believed he had to, he would abandon me. It's been ten years since we knew each other were alive, what is love when it has been quenched by belief of death? You Anbira he would have seen as someone who needed to be drawn back to the Light and resuced from the death The Dark Side has. His motives would have been unselfish and pure. What motive would he have to reclaim my love, especially as the Jedi Code forbids such a thing? Even if he hated The Jedi Order, I think he believed in the ideals with a passion. Love is just a stumbling block, so if a man can be so driven to oust himself and create new identities and decieve the Council itself to pursue what he believed as right, then why would he come back for me?"

I wished I could believe that. I knew I could not. In reality, his not coming for me was tearing me to pieces. Why wouldn't he come? Had his love truly been quenched and I meant nothing?

[Anbira Hicchoru]

You are mistaken...

:: Anbira smiled ::

...about love. A man with no love has no principles, and nothing to believe in. You cannot stand for a thing without loving that thing.

We are not abandoned. I can feel that much.

You must take me to the place of his disappearance. Things are to be discovered, unseen by eyes, and unheard by ears.

[Elieen Cross]

"No. Where you need to go is where I suspect he might be if you want to have questions answered. That I can tell you where that is"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Perhaps later. That is not important at the moment.

[Elieen Cross]

"why do you want to go where he was ambushed?"

This was truly puzzling to me.

"I can recite what was there... I even managed to reach the site before the extreme weather beat me back. The crash site is about 70 degrees latitude, South. The nearest settlement is Whitetown, the southernmost settlement of Arcan. It has 12,000 residents who survive there by sheer bloody-mindedness. The only way in or out is Stratocruiser when the weather is good. Right now, it is winter there and the storms make transport impossible. The whole place is covered in snow 4 meters deep and temeratures more like Hoth.. Where Marcus weas ambushed, the remains of twelve bdies were found, most unrecognisable. His speederr was wrecked, his blood was found in it. One of the bodies was identified as his through his unique genetic markers - there was no mistake. He's not a human. Items precious to him were found about the place as well as the sword he took from the dead hands of Darth Turbogeek, his clone. That he would never leave behind, it's too dangerous to be left lying about. No reports of Marcus being seen in Whitetown are known and believe me, not just myself tried."

I crossed my arms, looking hard into Anbira's eyes.

"So how would you propose to do better? If he really survived, I can only conclude he was wounded in the fight to escape the ambush and holed up somewhere to recover. And then never returned here"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

You are explaining to me only what your eyes can see. I assure you, I have read this report. It does not interest me.

[Elieen Cross]

"Then explain what you think your going to find or what you wish to look for, because I dont see what the point in going there is."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

I'm looking for answers, of course. The type that cannot be seen, and if I could explain, I wouldn't need to go.

:: Anbira smiled ::

You must learn to let go of the tangibles. The world of discovery truly lies past the eyes and ears.

[Elieen Cross]

"IF you dare speak down to me like some sort of Padawan again, I will eat my meal somewhere else" I snapped. "Dont you dare try to patronise me. Dont you think I already know that? Dont you think I consulted the Force - and I still do now to solve this problem?"

True, I preferred to use my eyes and ears, to use my senses...

"The Jedi's mistake is that they depend too much on the Force. I managed to defeat Jedi because I am willing to go further and use my intelligence. Now you listen to me Anbira and you listen well. Meditating in the middle of a frozen forest, 3 meters deep in snow while a storm thrashes it's violence is not the way I would call right to find the solutions to any puzzle - It's a good way to get yourself hypothemia, even a Jedi, even if you can find a transport conditioned to get you there"

I was being reminded why Jedi got on my nerves. Damn it, didn't they think for themselves? And now I was one. Well, I was going to make sure I didn't blind myself by depending on the Force to the detriment of everything else.

"There are no answers other than he died near Whitetown on Arcan. On Xa Fel, A Padawan claims to have seen a Jedi of enormous power, the like only Marcus had, possessing a sword only Marcus can hold. If Marcus is really alive, I know he would go to a particular place, it is a planet of intense affinity to The Light Side of the Force. If Marcus is alive, then he was Force Master Hunter and Tohmahawk, who also used this planet as a home. Unless you look for more than Marcus, there is the answer to your questions"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

There is another.

:: Anbira spoke softly, his eyes distant ::

Another far more intangible, yet far closer.

[Elieen Cross]

So there was something else.

"Please explain what you think you might find"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

All I know is that something waits to be found. What it is...your guess is as good as mine. I can only see so much. Or to be correct, I dare only see so much.

[Elieen Cross]

"Right now, it's not possible to go to the ambush site. As I said, it's in the middle of winter storms and I barely managed to reach the area myself before I was beaten back. Even cold hardened speeders dont work in those conditions"

I made my voice gentle.

"I still think your best hope is the ex-TSE planet. What there is left of his life, it will be there. My heart tells me you would find what you want"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

:: Anbira smiles ::

I have ways of my own to deal with the elements. It can be done, if you are willing.

[Jost Olorin]

This was a most curious place, the old man thought as he walked closer. And if what he had been told was correct, this is where he would find the new breed of Jedi. Well, maybe not breed, but certainly new. And he was most interested to see them and meet them.

There was some sort of guard, armed with weapons he had never seen before. He paused as two of them stood in front of his path

"Good evening Old Sir. If you wish to enter, you must put your weapons aside" the guard nodded at the long sword at Jost's waist.

"Ahhh. But you would not deny an old man his staff that he leans on would you?"

"Certainly not. Just the sword"

Jost nodded, setting down Glamdring to rest by a pile of outlandish devices. Jost raised an eyebrow, expressing the surprise at the devices there. "I've been living by myself for too long" he muttered. HE nodded to the guards, who allowed him to pass and to ascend the stairs to he front doors. He pushed then open, taking of his peaked cap and standing tall, looked about the .... tapcafe?

This was serious? The Jedi owned a tapcafe? The Jed he had met had mentioned the Jedi were changed, but this he did not expect. He began to walk in astounded. What else was different in the Jedi since the times before The Darkness? He wasn't looking where he was going, thence his staff bumped the table where two people, a venerable man and a particularily beautiful young woman were conversing.

"Ahh, my apologies" he said "I should look where my feet are going...... ahh, but forgive me if you will if I ask a question. I'd like to meet a Jedi. I was told they are here"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

:: Anbira nodded to the man who looked even more aged than himself ::

Then you have indeed found them. I am Anbira Hicchoru, Jedi of the Order.

[Elieen Cross]

I also nodded to the old man.

"Helenias Q'Dunn. Why are you in need of talking to a Jedi?"

[Jost Olorin]

"Ahh, Jedi! I am glad to have met you, for I have journeyed long to meet... ahh, I get ahead of myself. My name is Jost Olorin and I was a Jedi before the Empire I recently discovered the Jedi arearising again and I came from my hiding place to see for myself. " He turned to look at the stunningly attractive young woman before continuing. "In fact, it was one with your name that set me on this path. "

[Elieen Cross]

I arched an eyebrow, looking over the old newcomer.

"Someone with my name? What do you mean?"

[Jost Olorin]

"You said your name was Q'Dunn, did you not?" he asked "I have seen another one with this name. A very strange but powerful man. Said he was Marcus Q'Dunn"

He could see there was some sort of odd expression coming over the woman's face - and the other man too.

"Have I said something wrong? You know Marcus?"

[Elieen Cross]

I hoped I wasn't gaping. It would have been hard, but I truly hoped I wasnt looking like a fool. Although there was good cause to be caught out and showing it. And being somewhat excited. I however kept control, making myself seem casual as I answered.


"Yes, I know of Marcus. I thought he was dead"

[Jost Olorin]

Jost shook his head.

"Ahhh no, far from it. He arrived at my home 4 months ago. He stayed there for 2 months and than left with my foster charge. I'm not sure where he went after that - he said to a place where he could rest up as he was badly wounded in an ambush, not far from my home."

He was just noticing the really, really strange and strong emotions coming off the woman. She was intensely interested. And so seemed the man. And now that he was considering, the name she gave seemed known to him.

[Helenias QDunn]

"Marcus... really is alive?"

I had to stop there and gather myself. Here was confirmation like I never dreamed. Sure, the Padawan had said she had seen him and a man claiming to be Macrus had contacted me, but here was something else. A man with no reason to lie - and I could see in his sense there was no deception.

"Old Master, this is important to me... are you certain this man was telling the truth? That he was really what he said he was?"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Alive, yes.

:: Anbira nodded ::

This only confirms one enigma of many I have sensed. There is some task at hand that he is set upon.

:: His eyes closed ::

...the shadow is darkest when the hand is close...

I believe he means to strike against the forces of darkness, but in the most tender of vulnerabilities. A wolf in sheep's clothing. But what hunts the wolf, and wears its skin?

:: Anbira's eyes opened, looking to Jost ::

Whatever insight you can offer will be accepted graciously.

[Jost Olorin]

"Yes yes, it was him. I could tell he was being truthful. He had no reason to tell me any untruths. So, you want an insight, yes?" Jost sat down, old age showing in the way he slowly and carefully sat.

"Well, if you want insight, I can tell you straight from Marcus himself. He told me he was getting far too close to the Dark side, he was wounded not just of body but of mind and spirit. It would seem on his last mission, he nearly fell into Darkness. He said he lacked guidance and a mentor. That I gave him. I returnn, he took my foster charge, Alaina Eldric as his learner. I much wanted to train her, but I am old now. Marcus only needed a small tap in the right direction again. If you want my opinion, he has gone somewhere quiet, where he can rest his spirit. There is much he didnt speak of, many burdens he has that he wont share. And yet... what he did speak of tells me he wont rest long"

Jost frowned, thinking as the wmoan's name was known to him. Marcus had said it and it held a great importance to him. "Helenias, your name he spoke of often. If I remember, he believes you are dead and you are someone important to him. Is this true? And Master Jedi, does that answer your question?"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

To a degree, it does.

:: Anbira sat silent ::

But if he lives, there is much I must discuss with him. There is a growing danger on the horizon, and yet very close to us all.

I don't suppose you would know how to contact him?

[Jost Olorin]

"Well, no.... I came here hoping to find that answer myself. I much desire to speak to Marcus... and I also would like to speak to my foster charge. I would like to know how they are faring"

He settled himself a bit, accepting a drink off a passing droid.

"All I can offer is that they left in the company of a woman. Leather clad, very uptight, quick temper. The name was Ravenwing if I recall"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Perhaps there is another way.

:: Reluctantly, Anbira reached into his pocket, and pulled out an unremarkable green stone, setting it on the table. He let go of it, but his hand never strayed far from it. ::

I would wish it would not come to this, but this mystery runs far too deep, and there is not much time.