Rejuvenation

[Navaria Tarkin]

Anbira had just left not too long ago, turning down the lights to Navaria's room so she could rest. Her body was tired and calling her to sleep but what had occured outside the Academy (http://pub56.ezboard.com/fgjofrm3.showMessage?topicID=279.topic) was still on her mind. The young Jedi's mind was spinning in the realization that she really healed a wound that should not have.

"For the Jedi...great things are often expected."

She turned on her side, tucking her hands underneath her head, as she stared straight ahead. A few strands of hair fell across her face that moved ever so slightly when she breathed. It still hurt to do so, but the pain was tolerable now.

The words that Anbira said kept her from sleeping. Navaria Tarkin never believed that she actually could hold that potential but one would think that being the "sister" of Dalethria, of course that power lay within herself. It took a miracle to realize that the Force was with her as it always has been.

Navaria would never doubt again.

[Shade Magus]

Shade had been walking by the room when he felt a disturbence in the Force. He noticed he was outside of Navaria's room and ponderd wether or not he should check it out. He had never met her before, only seen her. He didn't want to be rude and intrude, but he sensed something was wrong and he quietly knocked on her door.

"Hello...anyone there?"

[Navaria Tarkin]

OOC~ Just so you know, tis Navaria, not Narvina =P

IC~ She stirred lightly at the sound of someone outside her room. Still the young Jedi needed her rest but with the thoughts running through her head, it would be a most useless battle.

Navaria forced herself to sit up and reached out through the Force to let her visitor know they were welcomed.

Please... enter...

Her throat still needed time to heal and speaking through her mind would better. Hopefully, the Jedi would understand that.

[Shade Magus]

OOC: Yeah I know I thought i typed it right but i guess i didn't sorry about that.

IN:
Shade stepped into the room and smiled at the woman on the bed.

"Hey. My name is Shade Magus. I was just passing by and I thought I felt a disturbence in here and I was wondering if their was anything I could do to help."

Shade looked around, trying not to be nosey, but to get more familar with his surroundings.

[Navaria Tarkin]

OOC~ Tis alright <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/image/emoticons_classic/smile.gif ALT=":)">

IC~ The room was quite spartan. There was a bed in the far corner where Navaria was sitting. To Shade's left, there was a small kitchenette and to the right, a couch, table, and a few chairs neatly arranged before a holomonitor. Nothing adorned the walls for Navaria really had nothig to display. All that was taken from her a long time ago.

Navaria slowly stood up and brushed the hair away from her face. Her feet were bare but she was still wearing her inner robes as the Jedi approached Shade.

My name is Navaria Tarkin. I am recovering from ...

What would she call it.

... my efforts. Perhaps that is the disturbance you speak of?

[Shade Magus]

"I don't really know. I know I was passing by and something felt out of place...like a restlessness or something of that nature."

[Navaria Tarkin]

She leaned on the side of the couch and crossed her arms as if trying to protect herself.

My body craves sleep but it will not come for I am thinking too much

[Shade Magus]

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh..............is there anything I can do to help you with your thought? Or are they to personal?"

Shade nodded and closed his eyes. He had had many a nights like this for quite awhile. He then re-opened them and looked at Navaria.

[Navaria Tarkin]

Hmm...

It wasn't like what was troubling her wasn't well known to a certain extent. Her belief in herself and the power Navaria had taped today she could deal with.... it was other things that troubled her.

... well, it isn't terribly personal. Just by looking at me you might hazzard a guess as what is keeping me up this day.

[Shade Magus]

"Well...I can't guess all of it, but I saw you in the training grounds earlier. Does that have anything to do with it?"

Shade thought really hard for everything he knew about Navaria, but he knew very little. He didn't like to pry into people's business behind their back and didn't wan tto be nosey, so he tried to learn about people from talking to them.

[Navaria Tarkin]

Maybe not all knew of Dalethria which was odd to her since most have heard of the feared Sith Lordess. She wasn't one to complain however.

She smiled lightly.

Yes, that has to do with some of it. I performed healing on Anbira and it took alot out of me. The act itself was draining and the ramifications of it is keeping me awake I suppose.

[Shade Magus]

"Ahh....I know what you mean..although I myself do not heal others I have had to use my energy in such a way as you speak of."

Shade racked his brain for anything he thought that would help him know something about Navaria, and then somethin gcame across his mind. He didn't want to say anything because of the nature of the thought so he stayed on the subject at hand.

"So..why did you have to heal Anbira in the way you said?"

[Navaria Tarkin]

His voice... I healed the tissue in his throat so he could speak once again.

She felt a flicker of curiosity from Shade and raised her brows.

What is it?

[Shade Magus]

"Ahh....."

Shade knew as soon as he thought it the Jedi Knight would know he had something, so he offereed no resistance in his curiosity.

"Well...I was thinking about your name and why it seemed familiar and then I thought about something....you aren't by any chance related to Dalethria are you?"

[Navaria Tarkin]

She blinked and then settled down on the couch.

Well, my name seems familiar because most remember my grandfather firstly ... Grand Moff Tarkin. To think that it reminds you of Dalethria is disturbing.

A shiver ran down her spine and she rolled her shoulders to defend against its effects.

My face should be familiar because I share it with ... her. It is a rather long story.....

[Shade Magus]

"Well..yes of course it reminds me of Grand Moff Tarkin, but I have a brother who is a Sith. Him and I do not talk often except when I catch him spying on me. From what he tells me of his traing he has been taught a little bit of illusions by the Sith Lordess Dalethria, and he has mentioned the name Tarkin being associated with hers before........as for your faces I couldn't tell for I have never seen her before."


Shade felt a wave of angerpass through him as he talked about his brother and the Sith, but he quelled it and put it in the back of his mind.

[Navaria Tarkin]

A brother who is a Sith?

Her last breath was caught in her throat for the anger she felt coming from Shade was strong but swift. He was good in controlling such dangerous emotions.

Forgive my surprise...

Considering that Dalethria had trained longer then she, of course she would be training new recruits to futher the spread of evil. To continue the endless flow of hatred and rage that accomplished nothing....

She wrestled with on how to explain things to Shade but it probably would be easier with stating the obvious.

Dalethria and I are clones... but it is more complicated then that.

[Shade Magus]

Shade raised an eyebrow.

"How could it be more complicated.....I mean you can tell me if you want..if it is too personal then I'll understand."

[Navaria Tarkin]

Trust me... it gets far more complicated...

Navaria would eventually have to speak this aloud to someone, but a complete stranger? She was a stranger to everyone save a few individuals at the order...

Her eyes softened as she looked at Shade...

If you want to hear the tale... I can tell you. I suggest having a seat or getting something to drink... it will take awhile.

[Shade Magus]

Shade raised his eyebrow and nodded.

"Ok.....I'll just have a seat."

Shade looked around for a spare chair and spotted one.

"Is it alright to sit here?"

[Navaria Tarkin]

Yes... please do.

She waited for Shade to get comfortable before continuing. This would hopefully put much in perspective for Navaria and clear her mind of her troubles. Maybe even Shade came to her door for that purpose. To ease her soul... it couldn't be coincedence that he was here for the Force always had a plan... seen and unseen.

The brunette slipped a leg underneath herself and began.

I suppose it would be easiest to start at the beginning. My grandfather you know my father perhaps not. He was a decorated officer for the Empire... serving under Lord Vader aboard the Super Star Destroyer Executor. My mother was the perfect wife of a military family and then there was me... and my brother Marcus.

Everything was ideal...

Her eyes turned away, staring at nothing in particular on the couch.

.. when papa died, I was devestated but what I realize now but not then, only being a child... a knew part of myself was created. It was the part of me that could not deal with my grandfather's death or my father being away constantly to deal with the rebels. I had to be strong for my mother and my brother at such a young age... it was necessary for me to appear ... perfect.

All my anger and hatred that I had for the Rebellion was shifted away from my thoughts and into something else...

Sighing, Navaria turned to face Shade.

... that something was Dalethria...

[Shade Magus]

Shade looked at with a look of curiosity.

""Do you mean that you put a part of your own soul inot Dalethria? If so then how? How is that possible?"

[Navaria Tarkin]

The left side of her face scrunched together, upset with herself for not being clearer but it was such a mess trying to explain this.

I shall explain it like this.

It was tough talking about herself like this but it must be done.

You know about multiple personalities right?

[Shade Magus]

"Yes...I know a little about. Sometimes it seems that I have some myself."

[Navaria Tarkin]

She smiled, chuckling a little until a hacking cough overwhelmed her. It took a few minutes for her lungs to calm down before she continued.

Pardon me... my throat is still a bit rough.

It hurt to swallow but Navaria needed to try and regain some moisture. Perhaps something to drink soon...

As I was saying, I am the real Navaria Tarkin... not Dalethria. We are two separate personalities that shared the same body. She was the one that could deal with my emotional scars whereas I pretended that everything was alright and took care of my family. I just ... couldn't accept my grandfather's and then my father's death... So... she was created by my own insecurities.

[Shade Magus]

"Ahh...I think I am beginning to understand now."

[Navaria Tarkin]

I know this is alot to absorb... When I first came to the Jedi, I spent alot of time trying to piece everything together...

It was defiantely time for that water and Navaria rose from the couch.

Care for something? My throat is quite dry... then I can continue.

She asked, smiling slightly.

[Shade Magus]

"Some water will be fine."

[Navaria Tarkin]

She took two glasses from a cupboard and filled them with water from the sink. Navaria then walked the short distance back to Shade and set his glass down in front of him before sitting down. Her throat thanked her as the refreshing liquid helped to soothe the soreness away.

About half the glass was emptied before Navaria rested the glass between her hands, and continued.

When the Empire fell and the Rebels won... Coruscant, known as Imperial Center at the time, was plagued with riots. Noticeable people like my family were targeted. With Father away... we were quite helpless, especially being caught in the riots themselves.

It was a frightening sight ... alot of citizens were overjoyed that the Empire suffered such a heavy loss... others looted and beat up helpless bystanders. Stormtroppers fired into the crowds to try and stop them ...

My mother and father had planned that if anything happen like this on Imperial Center we would leave. And we did ... but at a price.

My brother was caught in the riots and only my mother and I were able to escape.

[Shade Magus]

"Oh.......I am sorry to hear..I can imagine how you musta felt....."

[Navaria Tarkin]

It's nothing I wish on anyone... he was my younger brother. I was to protect him...

The pain was coming back. All the loss and emptiness inside her heart was beginning to swell. It was something that always happened when one talked of loss and terrible tragedy.

For Navaria, it was a healing process. Something that needed to have been done properly long ago but was happening now. The hurdles that she had jumped getting her to this point was all worth it because now, Navaria could accept all that she had witnessed, felt, lost and done...

Mother and I escaped, as I said. We ferried from planet to planet until finally a home was found ... on Bakura...

[Shade Magus]

"That planet sounds familiar, though I don't ever remember going there."

Shade cocked his head to the right as he racked his brains.

[Navaria Tarkin]

It is far in the Outer Rim. A quiet, peaceful world that holds much beauty. At least ... before the Empire took control of it ...

She held up a hand and smiled, embarrassed.

I'm getting ahead of myself. For years, mother and I lived happily on Bakura. She worked as a waitress at the local tavern and I got into lots of trouble

The memories were so pleasant, Navaria couldn't help but wonder why she never thought about them more often.

I learned the fine art of slicing and met up with a Smuggler named Jac ... I joined his crew off and on ... which my mother never knew about. Finally she caught me sneaking out and Jac covered for me ... mom must have understood that a Tarkin needs to be flying around causing mischief at the very least.

That was my life. Making money, learning about life in space and living with mother. It was perfect ... until the plague came.

No one knew how or why it happened but the Black Seed Virus swept through many planets in the Outer Rim. It never reached Bakura but ... mother contracted the disease while visiting a friend. I didn't know how serious it was until high ranking officials put mother into quarantine after the medical doctors figured out what was wrong with her.

For days on end, I watched her die ever so slowly behind a window. Never being able to touch her, hold her, or tell her how much I loved her.

Not even the Jedi that came could save her....

[Shade Magus]

Shade sat silently listening. He knew what it was like to lose one you cared about liek that. He had watched a very close freind die that way. After her he had promised neever to love agina, but after finding Xazor he had given it another try.

[Navaria Tarkin]

The change in Shade's mood was hard to miss and she leaned forward.

I'm sorry ... I didn't want to bring up old memories. I can stop if you like.

[Shade Magus]

Shade cleared his throat and shook his head.

"Please...continue..that is if you want to."

[Navaria Tarkin]

Shade wanted her to continue and therefore her choice was made.

After mother died, something changed inside of me. The part of me that I ignored for so long came forth ...

Everything that I hated, loathed, wished to destroy because of my losses, erupted. I found myself locked away in my mind, shackeled with fear and pain while Dalethria came into being. She was stronger and I was weak ... I was the silent observer, feeling everything that Dalethria felt. The pleasure of the kill, the wonton destruction of anything because it was fun. She tried to make me understand what power was and tried to convince me that I needed revenge .. to take back what was mine ... and she was going to do that. I fell out of the Sith's ways for sometime, trying to regain some control over my insane counterpart. I was a smuggler once again and enjoying life. I still called myself Dalethria still but it was hard keeping us separate.

Then one day when I stopped on some planet with a co-pilot friend of mine, I ran into Sith Kat (http://www.swforums.net/forum/showthread.php?s=0d31fd2141d6a201dc32fa6b344aa576&threadid=8596&perpage=20&pagenumber=1). I could not escape my path and the darkness inside me was a beacon for the Witch to find me, to bring me back to the Sith. Once again, revenge was all too alluring. Dalethria wanted Luke and Leia to pay for what they did to our family.

If it weren't for Luke ... in Dalethria's mind, the Tarkin's and the Empire never would have collasped.

[Shade Magus]

Shade sat there silent. He was absorbing all he had heard. Never had anyone ever opened up to him like that before. He sat there. Thinking about the time when she was talking about. He had been born just a few years after all this had happened. He was clueless as hat to say so he sat there.

[Navaria Tarkin]

Her complete confession to who and what she was and what she had unintentionally created, caused Shade to grow very quiet and contemplative.

There was alot more to her story but it seemed that perhaps Shade had enough to absorb for one day. The Jedi felt relieved yet sad at the same time. Was she being too selfish in telling him all this? A complete stranger?

I'm sorry ... you were willing to listen and I needed someone to hear me ... I'm in your debt enough... I should stop now because it doesn't end there.

She laughed nervously and ran a hand through her hair, looking apologetically at Shade.

[Shade Magus]

"No...it isn't that. It is just that people aren't that open with me for the most part and I am kinda at a loss for words. I have known people to go through things so bad that they couldn't talk to anyone, and it took a long time to break down their walls to an emotionally stable level, but you are different. You opened up without even knowing me."

[Navaria Tarkin]

She chewed on her lower lip and removed her hand, feeling more comfortable after Shade had spoken.

I never would have done this a year ago ... alot of my insecurities are crumbling away. You being here has proven that ...

[Shade Magus]

"Well...I am glad I could have helped."

[Navaria Tarkin]

You have. Perhaps our next meeting won't be as ... draining. It's nice having another friend here...

[Shade Magus]

"Yeah...I know what you mean. For some reason I have been making a lot of freinds as of lately."

[Navaria Tarkin]

Then that is a good sign of growth on both our parts.

[Shade Magus]

"Yes it is."

Shade thought about his freind's and smiled. It was nice to know that somewhere there was always someone he could count on.

[Navaria Tarkin]

Navaria looked at the time and had no idea that so much time had passed. It seemed at that moment it registered how drained she really was and yawned.

Pardon me ... I guess there was another good reason to stop.

[Shade Magus]

Shade glanced at the time and nodded. He stood and held out his hand.

"Well it was nice meeting you Navaria. I hope that we can talk again sometime soon."

[Navaria Tarkin]

She took the offered hand and squeezed it gently.

Yes, I would very much like that. Have a goodnight, Shade.

[Shade Magus]

"Ok then...good-night."

Shade quietly walked over to the door and let himself out. BNefore closing he gave one more wave and then closed the door. He then walked towards his room. He had a lot on his mind. What Navaria had just done was something he had to do some, but when? To whom? He knew one day his past would have to come out, but not tonight. Tonight he would rest and think about his new freindship.

[Navaria Tarkin]

Navaria waved goodbye and felt that her heart and soul had been lifted. Not only did she find a friend, but she was able to talk about her life without fear or embarrassment. She could focus on the future, contemplate the Force and her purpose without a clouded mind and finally become the Jedi she wanted to be.

Getting up from the couch, Navaria turned down the lights and crawled back into bed. It was warm and comforting.

This time, the pain in her throat was not as severe and for the first time since coming to the Order... the young Padawan was able to have a good night's sleep.