The art of Peace

[Estelle Russard]

Estelle had watched many of the new recruits and some of the Masters teaching them since her arrival at the GJO.

Each different in approach and technique, but one common thread she noted in them all. They all knew they had the force ability within them. The padawans need to learn how to tap into such ability and weild it, but even in their "newness" they had a confidence that it was an obtainable goal.

Estelle had no such assurance.

She had desire and drive, but that did "not a jedi make".

She pushed open the door into the Academy, and slipped quietly inside to further observe the training taking place inside

[Estelle Russard]

There were a few people around at this time of the day.

Many were off doing the duties required of everyday life at the Academy, but some had the opportunity of remaining to train.

Estelle moved quietly toward an area not in use, and sat on a padded mat. She hoped to try to meditate and tap into an inner strength.

She was sure she had to have something within her. She wouldnt have been driven to come all this way from home just on a fanciful whim...would she? How she hated her self-doubt.

She could always just be a footsoldier, when she accomplished her basic training, she guessed, trying to make herself feel better. But that wouldnt be enough for her, and she knew it. She wanted to be a Jedi.

Somehow she would find what she was looking for.

She just had to.

[Estelle Russard]

She closed her eyes to meditate.

where to begin?

She tried to block out the sounds of the Academy surroundings. Tried to focus on some intangible "peace". Soon the sounds of movement and excercise in the room faded, without her even realising it.

She found her mind slipping to thoughts of home,family. Things that were comfort and familiar. Her parents, her brother. Friends. All faces smiling and accepting. She saw familiar streets of her home town. Heard again the "awakening" sounds of the early morning on her parents farm. Sounds she loved. Sounds she missed.

Estelle began to feel a pang in the pit of her stomach. A sadness - no, more a wistfulness. Homesickness probably. Not the "inner peace" she had been trying for.

This isnt right. I must focus

[Estelle Russard]

Moving to get herself a little more comfortable - as much as that was possible in this seated position on the floor - Estelle, again, tried to bring her thoughts and senses into focus.

She remembered back to the stories of Jedi in times passed. Of their victories, battles, even of their defeats. All tales that had been part of her growing up. Stories that had thrilled her as those who were of noble spirit, freedom fighters, who stood against the waves of darkness that threatened the entire galaxy. She thought of the bravery of the rebel forces that stood against Palpatines Imperialists. Ordinary men and women of all species doing extraordinary deeds for the greater good of all kind.

Estelle knew of the history of Obi Wan Kenobi. Of the Skywalkers. Of the great Master Yoda and others just like them. She could even see them in her minds eye and wanted to serve, just like them. Their crusade for balance in the galaxy - she wanted to be her cusade.

She thought of the Masters, Knights and Padawans here at the Order. How they stood against the Sith and defended those who couldnt defend themselves. Their example to her constantly inspired her. She wanted to be like that.

She knew she was on the right path. Her Master, ReaperFett was one she looked up to and strove to have his patience and understanding. His committment to the light.

She thought of Luke Skywalker and his time on Dagobah. And his confrontation of things of evil. His personal journey to the light.

Estelle's eyes popped open.

..his personal journey to the light.

Thats it.

Estelle knew what she had to do. She sat for a moment, almost stunned that she had had this revelation.

Thinking and wishing to be a Jedi was not enough. Just wanting it badly was not enough. Estelle HAD to know if she had what it takes to be a Jedi. And she was not going to find it in the safety of the order. She needed to be actively involved in the fight against the Darksiders.

She stood to her feet and headed toward the door. Leaving the room she had something now she didnt have when first coming in.

She now had a definite goal.