The Merc With The Mouth - Smuggling Bounty

[Jacen Himes]

<h3>On the Planet Faale</h3>
A backwater planet for a sewage water crowd. Hidden in a bunker are the leaders of a small but cocky crime syndicate.

"Has the Resistance Hand left orbit?" The leader of the ragtag bunch, General Grool, asked. His title was an honorary one given by his underlings. It had no military value.

"Yes sir, it has, sir."

"Indeed."

The ship was given to a smuggler by the name of Lok SIlancy. She was intructed to deliver the ship and to ask no questions. Easy rules to follow when your employer pays you in full, up front. It was hush-hush money.

The destination was Tatooine.

<hr>
<h3>Somewhere between Faale and Tatooine</h3>
The starship Pointblank hovered in space.

Inside the vessle, in the pilot seat, sat a costumed man.

"Do-do-do-dooo-do-do-do-de-do," the man humed elevator music.

A flesh mag was layed out in front of him. His eyes focused on it. He had already read the articles.....

<center><font size=1>OOC - All may join in but please PM me first to get the rundown on the story. It's complicated and planned.</font></center>

[MMU]

“s’Il!!!!!!! I-hate-this-ship!!!!!”

The small droid who had made the proclamation marched back onto the bridge of the Resistance Hand, his green eyes practically glowing with frustration. He was small, coming up only to s’Il’s knee, but his attitude and mental quirks more than made up for his size; he was an avatar, the Mobile Mainframe Unit of the Rascal King, or as s’Il simply called him, MMU. Little had she known that with the Rascal King’s advanced systems came a certain psychoses, and it made itself painfully obvious in the small droid.

Standing by the captain’s chair, MMU looked up at her as she sat, presumably slumbering, her feet propped up on the dash. Apparently she hadn’t heard him; a common occurrence whenever she allowed him to accompany her on her missions that didn’t require the Rascal King, or when she had been given a different ship to use such as the current situation.

Imagine……. him!!! An all-powerful starship capable of a myriad of complex equations and higher functions reduced to having to use such a small unit of transportation. What was the saying? Phenomenal starship power, itty-bitty avatar. Yes, that was it; that about summed it up.

And now, trying to interface with the Resistance Hand, he found the shipboard computer to be completely useless, only able to perform the basic tasks the pilot instructed it to. Not to mention it was an absolute bore to talk to. It was like watching ferrocrete set.

“s’Il!!! Did-you-hear-me?!”

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

The Resistance Hand flew through hyperspace on its way to Tatooine. s’Il couldn’t remember when she’d last seen a freighter this old and out of date, but she was willing to bet it had been in one of the picture books she had while still in diapers.

Anything for a buck…..


When MMU made his less than inaudible entrance, s’Il stirred only slightly, interrupted in her attempts to take a nap. The whole situation she was in made her tired; hurt her brain. If it was her choice, she would have refused to take this flying garbage can, but her clients had payed in full and up front. Strange, but against her better judgment she’d accepted the assignment. And so, in lieu of not being able to bring the Rascal King in bulk, she brought his brain in the hopes that he could help her with the Resistance Hand.

It was plain to see he hated the ship as much as she did, and he let her know it whenever he could. She opened a single eye, tilting her head to look down at the droid. It was strange, if not almost hilarious to see the Rascal King manifested in the little guy.

“I heard you, MMU,” she said tiredly, “I can’t do anything about it though, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.” Before he could argue her point, she reached a hand down and pushed him away. “Now go do something with yourself. I’m trying to sleep.”

[Jacen Himes]

"Okay, Smiley, I'm going to take a nap. Wake me when the ship comes into orbit," the merc said, yawning and heading for the doorway.

A computer screen next to the pilot seat had a digital smiley face. Of course, it wasn't always smiling.

"No."

"No? Listen you backtalkin-monocolored-smileyfaced-geezer, I'm in charge of this outfit. I give the orders!"

The door shut just as Jacen turned back to it.

"Cute, no nose. Now open the door before I digtally turn you into a dancing hat."

"I will most certainly not you motor mouthed child. You think you're the superior here? Highly wrong, highly wrong. I am the superior intelligence and logic, I am in charge. You are but a fool with a gun."

Hey, that reminded him.

"You're right."

One of his many hand guns, strapped to his hip holstered, whiped around in his hand to face the computer screen.

:rolleyes

"Shoot me, will you? Without me, you cannot fly this ship. You are inept."

Okay... he had to admit that part. He didn't know a nav com from a trashbucket.

"Why can't I get some sleep? It's like the entire cast of Stomp is playing on my head!"

His head had started hurting he'd been up for so long. Mainly tracing the last location of the bounty he was after.

"Shut up and sit down. You may sleep in your chair. To be efficient, one must be alert. You're most needed here, not in the bed chambers."

Now it was time for Jacen to roll his eyes. Not that the smiley face could see it with the merc's eyes under his suit.

"Fine."

He finally sat down and immediantly drifted off, almost defiantly to Smiley.

[MMU]

MMU huffed through the corridors of the Resistance Hand, his little feet clanking on the deck. As far as on-board ship computers went, the Rascal King was certainly an odd one. His memory hadn’t been wiped since the day s’Il acquired him, and over the course of the years he’d developed his own personality. The avatar s’Il had chosen for him only served to illustrate (not to mention cause) some of the ship’s peculiarities.


An hour of pacing later, MMU was back on the bridge. s'Il was still asleep; of course. Surpisingly nimble for a droid, he hopped into the copilot's chair, leaning over the front dash to check on their progress. Five minutes till they exited hyperspace over Tatooine.

"s'Il,-wake-up. We're-getting-ready-to-drop-from-hyperspace. And-don't-forget," he added "-you-promised-to-take-me-shopping-for-a-new-weapon's-targeting-system."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her head lolled to the side as she stared at MMU, and pulling her feet off the dash, she sat up with a tired sigh. "Fine," she yawned, stretching in the process.

"Did you remember to get your larger self to meet us here so we don't have to take this thing back home?"

MMU stared at her, the green glow from his visual receptors dimming noticably as the small antannae atop his head drooped low. Compounded with his sudden silence, it was answer enough. s'Il wished now more than ever that she could strangle him. "You know, for all your whining and complaining about having to be reduced to travelling in this POS, I'd think you would've wanted to find a way to remedy the situation as fast as you could. I swear MMU, for such an advanced starship as yourself, you can be a real....... real........." words failed her.

Frustrated, s'Il looked back to the dashboard, watching the counter tick down.

5.....4.....3.....2.....1.....0

The Resistance Hand dropped out of hyperspace with a shudder. Off in the distance, the planet Tatooine shone like a dirty speck in space, and s'Il angled the Hand in its direction.

She couldn't wait till this job was done.

[Jacen Himes]

"Crud!"

:idea

"I'm handling it, you little worm."

Wow... that was a new one, Jacen thought as he looked at the ever changing smily graphic.

As the Resistance Hand came into view, the Pointblank steered towards the sun. It was already in close vicinity, Smiley always thinking ahead. It veered around it, stopping as it settled behind it. It was close enough to the star/sun that it was hot enough to cook an egg inside the cockpit but safe enough away to keep the vital systems from being fried. The massive sun would hopefully mask the ship from the other ship's sensors, meaning they could creep in from behind.

[MMU]

After contacting his 'larger self,' as s'Il called it, to head for Tatooine, MMU dropped from the co-pilot's chair and onto the deck where he proceeded to dance around the cockpit. He even used one of s'Il's legs as a dancing pole, twirling himself around before vaulting away before she could smack him upside the head.

He was so excited that their mission was almost over that he started singing; a very odd thing for a starship to do, especially through his avatar.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

s'Il did her best to ignore the little avatar, but it was hard; especially when he started running around between her legs. She would have kicked him away, but he darted off before she could boot him.

Tatooine was getting larger, nearly filling the viewscreen, and she flicked on the comm, punching in the numbers for the contact she'd been told to meet. "This is Lok s'Ilancy," she drawled, her voice completely deadpan, "I've got your package."

No doubt the man on the recieving end was hearing MMU in the background, but s'Il didn't care. So he was a little psychotic and tended to break out in song; she'd learned to deal with it.

A text message scrolled out onto a side display, and she read the coordinates she'd been given. Mos Eikados Spaceport. s'Il had never even heard of the place, but if it was anyting like most Tatooine Cities, she wasn't missing much.

[Jacen Himes]

"You suck, Smiley. You just... suck!"

The ship had overheated, sending their descent to the planet quicker than planned.

>_<

"I must have miscalculated. Nothing to worry about... I'll simply--"

"Simply what? That ship's going in nice and smooth! We, on the other hand, are flying towards dirt in the express lane!"

>D

"We'll simply have to take the other ship with us."

"What the hell... You're looking awfully evil," Jacen commented, sinking back in his chair.

>D

"We'll bait them."

"We'll wha--"

"Silence!!!"

The comm opened, patching through the the Resistance Hand. Smiley did a good impersonation of a Huttese translator.

"Maddam, my Master informs me of a ship crashing towards the planet. If you would be kind enough to assist it you will be fully repayed in a large, lump sum."

The comm shut off.

"Smiley, you magnificent bastard!"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

s’Il reached out, groaning slightly as she keyed on the comm. “Yeah sure,” she drawled, uninterested and not really paying attention to the translator on the other end. “But tell your boss he owes me, you got it?” She flicked the comm off, not giving the person on the other end a chance to reply.

Activating the Hand’s external sensors, she located the crashing ship, shaking her head while steering towards it. She opened her comm once more. “To whoever poor sod is on that ship,” she said tiredly, “I heard you’re in need of some help. How do you want me to save your butt?”

[Jacen Himes]

Jacen jumped back in his chair, startled.

Smiley hit the mute button.

"Act... scared."

"Yeah, real stretch, us smacking terra firma in ten minutes."

The mute was released.

"Ah!!!!!"

:rolleyes .... Over acting, gnit, thought the computer.

"Well, miss, first let me thank you and the goddess, whoo-eeh! We might actually make it through this!"

Jacen was trying on his "moisture farmer" impression.

"Ah, you can start with latching a tractor beam on us, if you have one...."

:D , Smiley approved.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

The Resistance Hand was a flying piece of junk; there was no denying it. It had barely minimal defense capabilities, and the weapons were a joke. It was a dinosaur, a ship that should have been scrapped fifty years ago. It didn't even belong in the Coruscant Air and Space Museum; then again maybe it did, but only because it was a feat of engineering that the thing even flew. s'Il knew of tow rigs that were faster than this thing.


And it had no tractor beam.


s'Il sat back, her mind running through possibilities. MMU was still prancing around behind her, humming some ungodly tune, but she paid him no mind. This ship had to have something worthwile, something......God-forbid.....helpful onboard. Her eyes scanned the dash looking for any alternative to a tractor beam.

Her eyes narrowed as they caught sight of a panel on her left. Well how about that, she thought idly, This thing has towlines. I'da never thought.

She reached out once more to key on the comm, and a touch of dry humor found it's way into her voice. "Pal, I am the Goddess. Unfortunately, I have no tractor beam."


She let that hang in the air for a good ten seconds, a sly smile on her lips.


"However, I do have a towline. So just sit tight and I'll be there in two minutes."

Cutting the comm, she took the Hand into a turn, heading for the falling ship.

[Jacen Himes]

The mute was on now.

>_<

"Fool!"

"Hey, I saw that dirt eating grin, Smiley. You thought it was a good idea."

"No ship that small has a tractor beam!"

"Well, golly Smiley, that info could have been usefull, say.... five minutes ago!" Jacen slapped the Smiley Display Console.

He unmuted the comm.

"Thank you kindly, ma'am.... Oh and, only five minutes left 'till impact by my readouts."

The comm went mute again.

"Let us address this Goddess delusion..."

"Hey, ever heard of Lady Luck? She's a broad and I'll be damned if she didn't just save our rump here."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Keep your pants on," s'Il muttered, bringing the Hand in close to the other ship, pulling up just over the top of it. If she was going by what the stranger told her, she had roughly a minute left. The aim would be a tricky thing to pull off; she'd have to catch the hull in a spot that wouldn't jeopardize the occupant or occupants when the hook pierced the plating and latched itself on. She glared at her monitors, doing her best to line the crosshairs up along the maneuvering vanes.



32 seconds.



"Ok," she started, keying her comm on once more, "this is gonna hurt for just a moment-"

She punched the release, and the two towlines shot out from their launchers along the underside of the Hand, lancing toward the damaged ship below. The magnetized hook/claws punched through the hull plating of the maneuvering wings, and the spider-like claws clamped down, locking themselves to the hull while the high-powered magnet activated, securing the towline even more.

The Resistance Hand bucked as the weight of the other ship pulled on it, and s'Il cursed. She yanked on the controls, trying to steady the two ships.

The two crafts had already been skimming the atmosphere, but now they were plunging deeper, their hulls ablaze as they rocketed through Tattooine's upper skies.

"Lift, damn you, lift!" s'Il yelled at the Hand, straining at the controls to bring the two ships up out of the atmosphere. Slowly; painfully slowly, they started to rise, and soon they pulled up out into space once more.

s'Il set the Hand and its attached ship into a stationary orbit, and leaning back, expelled a long breath before keying the comm. "Well stranger, consider your butt saved. You're going to have to think of another way to get down to the planet though, cause I ain't towing you down. This mop-bucket wouldn't be able to handle it."

[Jacen Himes]

Jacen smiled a rather wicked grin. He looked to Smiley for support.

:mischief

He guessed that meant they were on the same wavelength. Jacen unmuted the comm.

"Well, let me come aboard, ma'am. I'll pay you say... ten thousand credits for a lift. See, I'm a wealthy business man down there. How's about it, eh?"

Jacen muted his side of the comm once more so he wouldn't need to stiffle his laughter.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

s'Il didn't mute her end of the comm, and she didn't stiffle her laughter in any way, either. "Mister, you must think I've got a stupid sign on my forehead if you think I'm gonna let you aboard this ship just like that."

He'd come up with his little solution just a tad too quickly for her liking. Just the fact that a Hutt translator had contacted her initially meant that this guy wasn't to be trusted. She leaned forward, still laughing a little. "Besides, I have half a mind to cut my tow cables and let you drift. I put us in an orbit that for now is stationary, but it won't stay that way for long. I may have saved you from the fiery inferno for now, but hell, everybody dies sooner or later. And if it came down to you or me who gets the privilage of going first to hell, no offense, but I'm gonna choose you."

She sat back. MMU had stopped his dancing and was now looking up at her, his green eyeports gazing at her. "But............. I'm feeling nice today. You got any friends, relatives, business associates planetside you can contact? Maybe they'll pick you up."

[Jacen Himes]

"Damn! She's either really smart or a huge bitch."

"Watch you're language you ingrate! I happen to think this women is the bee's knees."

"Please, spare me you're fogey terms of endearment and get me the hell onto that ship!"

"Very well, allow me."

The comm unmuted. Smiley did what only a computer could do, deliver a perfectly imitated Jacen.

"Ma'am, I can handle myself. The ship's sublight engine is working pretty well. I can get myself down to that planet if I inch it along."

Jacen had a "huh" look on his face that was priceless.

"Now, let's say we meet up in one hour at the Mos Eisley Spaceport so I can take you to my boss, for you're payment. He did offer you a reward for saving my kiester right?"

The duo hadn't heard the original communication between the real reciever of that package. She was supposed to land at Mos Eikados Spaceport.... Not Mos Eisley.

[MMU]

"We're not going to Mos Eisley, we're going to Mos Eikados!!!"

MMU had jumped onto s'Il's lap, eager to talk to the person on the other end. "s'Il's taking me shopping!! She's gonna buy me a new targeting system!!"


Suddenly MMU felt himself being picked up, transported over past the armrest, and dropped on the deck. Looking up at s'Il's scowling face, he instantly knew she was ready to spit bullets at him, and he let out a little robotic squeal of terror, running from the small bridge.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

s'Il watched as MMU ran from the bridge, her scowl deepset as she turned once more to face forward. She leaned back in her seat for a few seconds, her arms crossed over her chest as she weighed her options. She didn't particularly feel like meeting the man she'd just saved; a feeling generated by her desire to get the mission over and done with so she could get back on her own ship. No matter how insane it was.

She didn't bother keying the comm on, it already was. "Look. Mister, forget about it, ok? I don't need the money that badly, and I've got other things I want to do."

s'Il's fist came down on the tow cable release button, and the clamps on her end of the lines burst away. "So, like you said, if you inch along, you'll be able to make it planetside. It's been a blast. Have a nice life." s'Il cut the comm completely, and moving the Hand away from the other ship, she began her descent once more to the planet.

[Jacen Himes]

"Alright, Smiley, we'll have to do this the hard way."

Smiley's digital head nodded.

Getting up from his seat, he opened the locker behind him. Revealed were a weapons set. The usual: two shotguns, two repeating blasters, two blasters. He had two lightsabres with pull away durasteel blade. Meaning it was a regular sword until he detached the blade, allowing the laser to emit. A few little things here and there, and his get-up was complete.

Before strapping this on, he turned back to smiley.

"Inch us along, smiley. After I kill that freakin' scum, I'm going to spit on her grave."

"Agreed. Her lack of hospitality is most unsettling."

Smiley began the slow descent.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

The Resistance Hand streaked through Tatooine's sky, lancing towards Mos Eikados. The rickity bucket had done what she was supposed to do; which made s'Il just that much more curious. She had no clue as to what she was transporting, just that she was supposed to deliver the ship and whatever cargo it contained to Tatooine. Not that she really cared.

MMU had made sure his larger half would be at Tatooine in a day's time. And speakng of which, she'd have to give him a talking to when it concerned talking to strangers over the comm. They didn't need to know she was going to Mos Eikados. She shook her head as she brought the Hand over the city, and turning the controls slightly, she angled for the landing pads.

The Resistance Hand settled down easily onto the tarmac, and as s'Il undid her crashstraps, she shut the craft down. "Here's to hoping I never have to fly you again," she said idly, getting to her feet.

s'Il gathered her belongings which consisted of a small duffel, her guns, and an overcoat. "MMU!!! Come on! Get your can in gear!!! I want to get out of here as soon as possible, ok??!!"

[MMU]

MMU looked up from what he was doing, dropping the two ends of electrical cord he was about to connect together. One wire snaked out from an old microwave he'd found in the galley, and the other originated from a spare hyperspace generator which he had pulled from one of the toolboxes in the back of the ship. Out of boredom the little avatar had decided to hook various pieces of random equipment together, and already had an impressive collection scattered all around him, most of it hardly recognizable.

Hopping to his feet at s'Il's call, he spotted her stride by the door to the room he was in, duffel, guns, and overcoat in hand, and instantly forgot about his "inventions" as he ran to catch up to her.

"The rest of me should be here tonight," he started, staying close to her heels as she strode down the boarding ramp.

He watched as s'Il and the dockmaster exchanged a few words, but soon enough their conversation turned boring, and his processors wandered as he cast his eyeports around, gazing at the other ships littering the area.

Some looked familiar while others were completely foreign, but just before he was about to wander off to explore, he felt s'Il give him a slight kick. MMU snapped his head up to stare at her, but she didn't return the look, instead not even stopping her conversation.

The small droid concluded that she was psychic, and knew the exact moments before he was likely to go off and try to find something fun to do. Of course, thankfully, it didn't work all the time; he was able to do stuff every now and then without her knowledge.

His final decision was that her psychic abilities were selective, and that he'd have to do his level best to determine the gaps in order to slip through. Armed with that knowledge, MMU knew he would triumph one of these days. He just knew it.

[Jacen Himes]

The dust was settling now.

"Nice landing."

Jacen said, his gear fully strapped on. He was clutching the back of his chair to keep from falling over. Landins were tricky when you're repulsorlifts were on the fritz.

"Thank you," Smiley returned, never giving acknowledgement to the sarcasm.

<hr>

The speeder bike was old but capable. It was stowed in thr hanger bay, which was cramp to begin with. Revving the engine, he concluded it'd work.

Setting his sights on Mos Eikados, he started the rickity old speeder bike.... He'd arrive at the spaceport in less than thirty minutes.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her conversation with the dockmaster had turned into an argument; an argumant s'Il was losing. Furious, she listened as he informed her that she was supposed to stay with the ship until the person she was delivering it to arrived. s'Il tried every excuse she knew to get him to let her leave, but he didn't buy any of her stories.

"Lady," he retorted sternly after a rather nasty outburst, "you're gonna wait here or I'll call port authority on you; there ain't too many broads with your kind of eyes, if you get my meaning."

s'Il understood him perfectly, and stood, silently fuming. Finally, after a minutes, she wheeled around and marched back to the Hand.

"MMU!!!!"

The avatar wasted no time in following her back up the ramp and into the ship.

Lashing out, s'Il slammed the release switch. The gangplank pulled up, closing the ship off, and as she dropped her duffel and overcoat to the deck as she stalked back to the bridge, MMU on her heels. Dropping into the captain's seat, she fingered the clasp on her shoulder holster, propping her feet on the dash in the same motion.

Looking down to MMU, she stared blankly at him, and the avatar sat himself down, locking his eyeports with her eyes. He knew better than to say anything.

Looking back out the viewport, s'Il let her eyes rest on the workers ambling about; some doing their duties and others merely standing around.

s'Il waited.