Osama's Hearing Problem

[Lady Vader]

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington.

"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.

James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.

Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, and 67 other people who have the same love for liberty and America.

As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.

As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams "This is not what I was promised!"

An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"

[Orion Csalestes]

:lol :lol :lol

[Marcus Telcontar]

:rolleyes

[Darth Viscera]

:D

[Champion of the Force]

I don't get it. :huh

[ReaperFett]

the joke is the word Virginians. Change it, and you see where Ossie messed up

[Champion of the Force]

:rolleyes

[Arya Ravenwing]

:lol

[Darth Viscera]

err...there are those in the world who don't know what a Virginian is? That's not right.

[Marcus Telcontar]

No, us Aussies just dont care.

[HaeLari Draevyn]

lol It took me a while to figure that one out. :rolleyes But it was funny anyways once I understood it! :lol

[Darth Viscera]

You Aussies should really get patriotic. Hell, your continent is surrounded by like 4 billion minorities-gotta have a minuteman or two up in New Guinea, just to keep watch. Third World War'll come along, and they'll all be looking to take up dachas down under. To arms!

[Charley]

There was a movie, and I forget which one it was...where world war three came and annihilated everyone except the crew of a US nuclear submarine. They waited out the fallout, and just colonized australia afterwards

[Champion of the Force]

You Aussies should really get patriotic.
How does that statement have anything to do with joke about Osama's hearing? :huh

[Darth Viscera]

Carrier pigeon for the joke I thought of earlier today (4 billion minorities? Majority, more like)

Micro-Satire regarding alleged American narrow-mindedness.

Fits, more or less.

[Marcus Telcontar]

Edit : I made my point.


:mad :verymad :headache

[Darth Viscera]

I am funny, dangit! 4 billion minorities!

[Charley]

(Adds another 1.7 billion to that...to try and make the joke funny)

[Taylor Millard]

Finally read it. :lol funny

[Darth Viscera]

Well I guess you have to be there for it to be funny. 4 billion minorities! hagh! Bah, time to move on to the grade A material.

*turns on his british accent*

I daresay you all are in desperate need of humour!

[Marcus Telcontar]

I call on my apprentice to do the honours

[Taylor Millard]

FORCE FRYING PAN!!!

BONG!!! Viscera's head falls back as the kitchen object hits him.

Two seconds later.

FORCE STEEL CHAIR!!!!

WHACK!

Vis hits the mat like a ton of bricks.

That's 1. ;)

[Marcus Telcontar]

Excellent!!!

Two Panning Roleplayers there are... a Master and an Apprentice. Soon I shall teach you such weapons as the Force Wedgie, the Acme Labs, The Force Kittens... and if you are good enough......


The Force Titanic Theme.

[Charley]

But the Force Enema shall I alone keep :wings

[Marcus Telcontar]

That's okay. We have come up with something worse.

The Force Mystery Science Theatre 3000..... playing Glitter and Battlefield Earth in rotation

[Marcus Telcontar]

(Which, BTW is not the worse I was referring to. It's sooo awful, this forum would explode if I dare mention it.)

[Darth Viscera]

*Idea*
Oh yay! I have been hornily awaiting a good panning!

[Marcus Telcontar]

Oh yay! I have been hornily awaiting a good panning!


You had antlers on?

[HaeLari Draevyn]

:lol It took me a while to understand what you meant by antlers.

[Khan Surak]

I would just like to note that 'Force Yak', and any other Force abilities invoving Yaks and or close relatives of the Yak have been claimed by The United Yak Liberation Front (UYLF), formerly known as The Microsoft Corporation. Thank you for your patience.

[Marcus Telcontar]

Yaks.



:: Edges away from Khan::


Show us what a Force Yak can do. Preferably on Viscera

[Darth Viscera]

How would a Redwood, Oregon-based software company ever come near a yak, being that the yak is from Tibet or other rather elevated spots in Asia?

Aussies: Oregon is right above California, upper left hand corner of the U.S.

[Khan Surak]

The UYLF is owned by the Belgian Mafia, who also owns the Mussel industry in northern Europe, Sony Corporation, The Wall Street Journal, and the small east-african country of Djibouti. If the Mafia can control all that, I think they could scrounge up a force-sensitive Yak, Viscera. |I Yeesh.

Ah, a demonstration? Certainly. I will need a volunteer from the audience.

[Darth Viscera]

Don't get me started on those Belgians! Oh, look at us, we're too good to settle on either French or German, we need our own language!

[Syron Ward]

.... they make good waffles.

[Marcus Telcontar]

:: Points at Viscera::

He volunteers

[Darth Viscera]

Main Entry: 1vol·un·teer
Pronunciation: "vä-l&n-'tir
Function: noun
Etymology: obsolete French voluntaire (now volontaire), from voluntaire, adjective, voluntary, from Latin voluntarius
Date: circa 1618
1 : a person who voluntarily undertakes or expresses a willingness to undertake a service: as a : one who enters into military service voluntarily b (1) : one who renders a service or takes part in a transaction while having no legal concern or interest (2) : one who receives a conveyance or transfer of property without giving valuable consideration

Therefore I do not volunteer. I have been framed!

[Marcus Telcontar]

:: Gags Viscera::

I'm telling you, he volunteered! Yak him!

[Morgan Evanar]

Redwood, Oregon

Apparently someone doesn't really know how to read.

Microsoft is based in Redmond, Washington.

[Khan Surak]

I don't know, Marcus... Yaks are fond of Aussies. :D

P.S. Could anyone give me the specs for the Golan series of orbital platforms? PM if need to. (This belongs in the Fleet forum, but I'm too lazy.)

[Darth Viscera]

I know the city name! I was...err...passively showing my anger at Micro$oft! Yes, that's the ticket! Ha!

[Marcus Telcontar]

Well, we dont have Yaks.

Dingos ate them first. :p