Record?

[Jedi Master Carr]

We set a record today in terms of # of vistors acording to Who's been on Today 157, the question I have is why are people either A lonely because of V-Day or B trying to stay away from their Valentine ;)
Also does this Who's been on Today cover the entire time this board been here (I'mean since we left Ezboard) or is a new feature?

[JMK]

I don't know, but I really don't want to hear any jokes about Star Wars fans beng alone in their parent's basement on Valentine's Day! :p

[JonathanLB]

It's worse than that. Alone in someone else's house in this small room :(

V-Day always blows, but this is probably the worst ever. They all suck though so what's the point in comparing.

Thank god for Episode II, I need something to look forward to. Everything else I do turns out not to work as expected or whatever, so at least I can count on Star Wars, as always. More than can be said about most people and outcomes/situations. :\

[ReturnOfTheCB]

Take heart Jon:.....wait....I can't think of anything positive to say about people or V-day.....so scratch that comment :D

Yeah, Valentine's day is just absurd...no other word for it.

[Jedi Master Carr]

Its really probably just that we are getting closer to Ep 2 believe me that date will broken when the next trailer comes out and we should have around the same number on Oscar night, this place is going to be rocking the next three months.:rollin

[darth_mcbain]

Yeah - I must agree, I find V-day to be kinda stupid. I get my better half flowers and presents every now and then for no reason - but then V-day comes along, and you HAVE to get her something. I would much rather get her something because I love her and not because I'm forced to. And if you don't get her anything, you catch a lot of cr@p. One tip - when your better half says "we don't have to get anything for each other this Valentine's Day" - WATCH OUT! It's a trap - regardless of what she says, you had better get her something or else you'll catch hell for it.

It was probably the case that the florists and chocolatiers of the world got together and decided they needed another holiday so they could sell more stuff.

I think what we need is a holiday for the guys. Where the ladies go out and bring back a six-pack and a pizza and take you out to your favorite sporting event...

[Jedieb]

We have that holiday, it's called the Superbowl. ;)

V-Day is a manufactored holiday that drives women into a frenzy and men into despair. Is it stupid? Yes. Is it pointless? Yes. Still, it's better to be with someone on that day than to be alone. I suffer more than most of you ever possibly could. I have my wife's B-Day and V-Day spread only 2 days apart! It's like having your birthday and Christmas 2 days apart, you know you're going to get the shaft gift wise. So I have to make sure I deliver big time during these days of doom. This year I shelled out for diamond earrings and some clothes. But, she's worth all that and more so I shouldn't complain too much. If she can buy me nachos and dip every Sunday during football season then I can dust myself off, go to dinner, and give her a pair of rocks. I'll tell you what, it's better than staying at home and seeing if anything racy is on Cinemax that night. Been there, done that, and I wouldn't want to go back. :D

[Jedi Master Carr]

Well I know a little history about Valentine's Day, it is actually named after a Christian bishop, named Valentine, who in the 3rd century (I think) tried to marry this couple (the Roman Emperor had decreed that no Christian marriages could be performed) he was caught show with arrows and then beheaded (talk about overkill) he was sainted not long after that. I have no idea when people started giving cards, candy, flower and stuff, I doubt the practice goes back beyond the 19th century (I betting that is when it began in the age of Romanticism) Of course I wouldn't call it a Christian holiday since its mixed with so many pagan symbols: Cupid etc. If somebody knows when it became a holiday let us know.

[Doc Milo]

I think what we need is a holiday for the guys. Where the ladies go out and bring back a six-pack and a pizza and take you out to your favorite sporting event...

I'm partial to electronic equipment myself. Maybe we can get store chains like Best Buy, Circuit City, Radio Shack, The Wiz, et al... to come up with a holiday same as Hallmark came up with this one! :)

And Jedieb: I feel for you with V-day and B-day so close together. I thought I had it bad with our anniversary (of when we started dating) and V-day so close (a week apart). And, if we get the date we've been planning for the wedding, my wedding aniversary will be on the front end of the month as well....

Ugh...

[JonathanLB]

Nice, I like the Super Bowl comments :)

"Still, it's better to be with someone on that day than to be alone."

Uhh, yeah, I am sure that is true. Being down here in LA still, I didn't get to see any of my friends or my family, even, let alone having a girlfriend or sumthin', haha.

Business has been so unbearably awful the last few days too, so, no social life lately, poor health, business trouble, writing isn't working out well, and I quit school for a semester. Haha, 0/5. :)

On the plus side, today was better. I put together a plan to rebuild my humor site in three months and restore profits to the levels I expect and I know I can make it work, just a matter of taking the pay cut for three months to make it work :\

I sent this one friend of mine, who is a girl, an e-greeting card, hehe, but she didn't respond and I didn't talk to her that day. We are good friends, though, she's really busy with college. On the plus side, at least she didn't leave an AIM message like, "Hey, away on a date with a random guy, leave me a message" or "Hey I met the greatest guy on Valentine's Day, talk to you later!" LOL, man that would have ruined my day. KEEP ALL SHARP OBJECTS AWAY! Haha, j/k. ;)

[BUFFJEDI]

valentine's day is the festival of two third-century martyrs,both named st.valentine.why is it known as a day for lovers? it may derive from the belief that birds mate on this date.

[Champion of the Force]

Also does this Who's been on Today cover the entire time this board been here (I'mean since we left Ezboard) or is a new feature?
I believe Ogre added in the feature sometime in mid to late January.

If it had been enabled since we first moved to vBulletin I'd almost bet that the first day in business would have had the most people online - according to the forum statistics the first 3 days of SWFans on vBulletin were by far the biggest thus far (over 1000 posts per day back in that first week, presently we're averaging around 250-300 posts per day).

Of course, it should be remembered that some roleplayers have muliple usernames which they log-in with everyday, which may have bumped up the list a bit. :)

[Jedi Master Carr]

Ok that makes since, I just noticed that feature a few days ago and I think its pretty neat to see how many people are on here each day.

[ReturnOfTheCB]

I found a cool gift set on starbucks.com that I'm really going to drop hints about when I manage to have a gf on Valentine's day for a change :D

[JonathanLB]

I've never had a gf at all, let alone on V-Day, stupid day.

Blah. I've not even talked to Liz in a few days now, damnit, that ruins my few days! I called today but she was not there or something. Maybe she'll call me soon. :\

[Jedi Master Carr]

I have had gfs they just haven't worked out for me, I figure I will find that one special one someday.

[JonathanLB]

I already found a few people like that, but either they found someone else or they obviously do not feel that way about me.

So, I don't share your optimism. My outlook is not so cheery, haha ;)

[BUFFJEDI]

so many woman so little time :( finding a good woman for any need is just to dang easy . I think you guy's put to much thought into finding one. I'm going shopping today (food shopping) and I would bet money I could get atleast 2 dates.(and I'm VERY picky about women.Don't try just DO.

[ReturnOfTheCB]

There's a difference between finding women and finding women you want to waste money on....IMO, at least.....

[Jedieb]

2 dates on a routine trip to the grocery store! Damn buff, you da man!

Sung to the them from Shaft:

Who's the buff jedi knight
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
BUFF!
Ya damn right!

Who is the Jedi that would risk his neck
For his brother Jedi?
BUFF!
Can you dig it?

Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's danger all about?
BUFF!
Right On!

They say this cat Buff is a bad mother
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'm talkin' 'bout Buff.
THEN WE CAN DIG IT!

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his women
Buff Jedi!

[JonathanLB]

It is not that easy, Buff. It's very difficult finding any girl who is not already taken, first of all, and finding one who is not taken and who I actually like in every way (looks, intelligence, and personality), then having her like ME too, now that's three factors that are nearly impossible to line up at the same time.

I have had all of them at some point or another, but never together, thus it doesn't matter. I had a girl who REALLY liked me, but, ugg, she was stupid, annoying, and NOT good looking at all!!!!!! So that didn't matter. Then I've found plenty of girls I really liked, but either I don't believe the feeling is mutual or they already have/had a boyfriend.

[Jedieb]

buff has a point, it can be as easy as meeting someone on your way to the grocery store. You don't only date people that you're totally in love with or that are perfect. You date someone to get to know them. If it works out great, if it doesn't then either you dump her or she dumps you. But that's how you grow and gain experience. One thing is for sure, if you ask no one, then no one will go out with you. Only on TV do hot women ask guys out on dates. Women don't want perfection, they want a MAN. Just ask, and when they say yes be on the level with them. Eventually, you're bound to find someone your compatible with. Gotta go, got a date with the wife!

[JMK]

And don't expect to meet girls only at parties and clubs. That almost never works properly. Unless your name is Buff. ;)
You'll always meet the good ones in the places and times you wouldn't expect.

[JonathanLB]

*shrug* well I'm not holding my breath.

What are the odds of actually meeting a good looking girl without a boyfriend? Let alone a good looking girl without a boyfriend who also happens to be both intelligent and nice. LOL, not very good odds.

[ReturnOfTheCB]

haha, Jon, I know how ya feel....I was sitting there at a meeting a few weeks ago, and I noticed this girl kept looking at me (more than everyone else...I always observe how people react with other people so I can tell if its anything out of the ordinary), but she'd look away when I'd meet her glance....she walks up after the meeting and introduces herself to me, and we talked for a while....we were at a coffee shop, so she asked if I had to leave, or if I wanted to stay and talk a while...well, she's really good looking, she's intelligent (I could tell just by the fact that she's in the organization...it's the Student Bioethics Forum at my college)...well, we're talking, and I'll be damned if she doesn't have a boyfriend.....so I'm sitting there thinking.....ok, what the hell, she has a boyfriend, what the **** is going on here? She's in a class of mine for the same organization that was meeting, so we talk a lot in there.....

I think I'm going to wait a year or so before I get too serious about dating...once I have a "job" that actually pays (as opposed to just being a fulltime student)...dating's too damned expensive :D

[Jedi Master Carr]

I admit you have to make an effort to find a girl and I have, they just haven't worked out, I'm still trying to find that special someone, I am sure she exists somewhere.

[JonathanLB]

Sounds like she was totally into you too, but see, that is what happens!

Ok, so I am talking to this girl Ellie online last summer, in June, because I got her AIM name through a list Joe K. made for everyone that had most of the names on it so we could all keep in touch. Well I had a few classes with Ellie, didn't know her very well, but online I'm a very outgoing person (I feel more like the Internet is my home, haha, and in my home, I am comfortable!). So I added a lot of girls to my AIM list actually, every single good looking girl in the class to be exact.

I talked to them each mostly and discovered, sadly, most of them were not that nice, or at least online, they were boring. They just had nothing to say, I had bad conversations with most of them, so I didn't bother really keeping in touch with 75% of them. Then maybe 20% of the remaining ones I still say hi to sometimes and have little chit chats, haha, but nothing more. The other 5%, well, that is Liz and Ellie, who I'm very good friends with thanks to the Internet!

So Ellie and I are talking. I know she as a boyfriend, Joe Sprando, and has for like two years. I didn't have an extremely negative impression of him, just a little bit unfavorable. Long story short, now through all of the things Ellie has told me, I hate the guy (he calls her names, treats her very rudely I think, he's not a smart guy, he's just an ass).

So I had this great, awesome conversation with Ellie the first time I saw her online. I mean, we are talking FOUR HOURS long on AIM, which was something like 25 pages of text in word. It was quite a conversation and I really felt instantly like I connected with her. Well we talked many other times throughout the summer and I kind of like making the occassional self-depracating remark, haha, so once I had said something like, "Well I didn't really ask anyone to most of the dances because I just didn't think the people I would want to ask would say yes." She was like, "Well I would have gone with you to any of them if I weren't with Joe!" Ugg, well that was a nice thing to say of course, but you know, that's like your story CB, haha, I mean she has a boyfriend already so whatever. She is always like, "You are such a nice, funny guy, I love hanging out with you!" BUT, Joe will not let her hang out with me because he sees me as a threat now and she hasn't even been able to talk to me online as much because he is so protective. It's a very sick relationship, IMO, because he has no right to tell her what she can and cannot do. Plus, I am just a friend, so he doesn't need to be so worried. I am way too shy to try to "make any moves" or whatever, lol, it just wouldn't happen.

Still, that is what it seems like to me, every girl I really like or even a girl who I think likes me back, already has a boyfriend. Maybe if Joe falls off the face of the earth some day, but Ellie has low self-esteem (the only thing about her that isn't nearly perfect) and that's why she stays with him (even her best friend told me this, though the two of them are now no longer friends; long story). She said she wants to marry him, ugg. I'm going to the same college as her (and him) next year, so I hope I can at least see her more then.

Ellie even sent me an e-mail on my birthday and an x-mas card that arrived just a few days after my birthday too. I know she cares, but Joe pretty much keeps her locked away :(

I honestly think that finding a girlfriend must be one of the most difficult things on earth. I can do almost anything else. Making money is easy if you just put a little thought into it, have the dedication, etc. Getting great grades, easy, writing, easy, all of that seemed attainable, but this seems impossible I am convinced! lol.

[Jedieb]

To quote a famous philosopher we all know and admire;
"Never tell me the odds!"

You've been this girl's online confessor for 2 years. You've actually done her boyfriend a favor. You've spared him the work of being emotionally sensitive to his girlfriend. You may think he's not that bright, overprotective, and an all around jerk, but who's the one making out with her when they go to the movies? He has actual conversations with her, while you chat on line with her. As for him not wanting her to spend too much time with you, that's perfectly natural. Hell, some guy hit on my wife when she was at the grocery store yesterday and I regretted not going to the store with her. The opportunity to ge tell the jagoff to go wank himself would have been golden. She's HIS GF, he has a right to get jealous. It's obviously not bothering her too much, because she's still going out with him.

You want to connect with someone then get on the phone with them or try going to a few parties and talking to them face to face. Also, you seem to be screening girls through a rather narrow prism. Have you stopped to think what it would feel like if that were done to you? If you come to the realization that it may actually be happening to you then you may realize you're missing out on someone special just because they're not the prettiest girl in class. I mean, are you the handsomest guy in the room?

Dating is easier for some than others. I was never that good at it, but in the right situation I would do all right. I had dates to both my HS proms, dated while I was in both the Army and college before I finally met my wife. You have to be proactive. Chatting with girls on-line isn't that proactive. Meeting them after class, or at some other social event is. You find someone that your interested in and you ask her out. Don't think you're going to become her friend and then something magical will happen. She'll be busy living her life while you're waiting. If the girl says no, fine, move on to the next. This doesn't mean you ask every girl in sight out, it just means that you don't hesitate when you see an opportunity.

Ask yourself this, how far has your current approach gotten you? How far has the approach of the many gerks dating girls you like gotten them?

[ReturnOfTheCB]

Hmmmm......you could always take the manipulative approach to this to make you look like the good guy...depends on what you're willing to take to get it though....if the guy feels threatened by you, you could get him alone somewhere, get him to beat the crap out of you, and not fight back (I don't know whether that's legitimately possible though in comparison to you, keep in mind if the guy's smaller than you, it doesn't look believable :D )...you'd get her sympathy, and he'd look like a complete jerk even more.....or you could jump in front of his car or something.....or if you're like me, and you'd be more likely to beat the **** out of the first person who hit you, you could so something like call an "escort service" and have it billed/sent to his house.......of course, I have yet to try any of these, so I don't know how likely they are to backfire.... but I'd be more likely to use the third one.....I've yet to use manipulation to get a girl (stupid "morals")...but I think it might be fun.

there's a reason Palpatine's one of my fav characters :D

[BUFFJEDI]

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! EB(s) your jingle RULES!!!!!!!!!!!:lol :lol





Ok ole buff is no Brad Pitt BUT he's pretty close(or atleast he thinks so), Buff's no Arnold, but DANG he is BUFF!!!,Buff only felt he should date women most men would give there right arm for,buff was and is wrong.uhhh?? your saying. well it's like this . I always had the mind set that I had to only go out with women who I or society that was up to par, the slim, hot , model type. It's that type of thinking that mess alot of guy's chances of finding that special one.The one you may/will find may not be at all waht you are LOOKING for.That's why I say DON"T go looking,It will just happen. The future Mrs.Buff is absolutely the TOTAL opposite of me and what I thought she would be. She's short not fat but not slim.she attractive but odds are she will never win a beuty contest.And she pretty dang smart.I went out with her as sort of a blind/mercey date. I had met her before just in passing and never thought about her agian.After only one date with her I know she is the one I will marry and the only one I want to bare my kids.Jon,CB,Carr it will happen don't try and rush it . You may find the exact type of women you are looking for.
I think I can safely say ole EB(S) got exactly what he was looking for smart, hard working , good person and HOT!!(no offense EB(s) :). But what you are looking for may NOT be the one you fall in love with. You don't get to pick who you fall in love with,Or i'd marry Sweet Bea arthur :smokin

[JMK]

Oh God Buff I think I'm going to puke.

In 99% of cases, if you become a girl's confidante/friend, you'll never land her as a gf. And the outlook would be pretty bleak if she had any single friends because you would be introduced as her sensitive friend. And why won't the single friends go out with you? Because their friend didn't.

Of course, I should be the last one to talk, because my gf and I were great friends for 2 years, then we started dating and we've been together since '97. But this is an extremely isolated incident. I would never recommend being "friends first". Meet a girl, and cut the sensitivity crap. Go for the throat, make the move, ask her out. Show her a good time, make it plainly obvious that you want to be her boyfriend and not her pal/bro.

[ReturnOfTheCB]

Buff, thanks, finally someone else is echoing my sentiment that you don't have to go out looking all the time...I'm taking the stance that I'm not going to go out hunting for women...I'm just gonna be myself and play it cool....I'm just not one of those people who feels like I have to have a date/gf every week or I'm a loser...

Jon, I used to be like you say you are, where you feel you're able to be more outgoing online....something happened when I hit senior year of HS, and now I'd say that I'm more interesting in person...though I basically act the same way as I do online now...plus, people know not to take me seriously when I say something sarcastic :D

I also look a little better in person than I do online :D

[JonathanLB]

Ok, some of what you said Jedieb I don't think is fair or accurate, but towards the latter parts of your posts you make some good points clearly. That doesn't mean I necessarily agree but, I understand where you are coming from at least.

As far as this girl's boyfriend, well she does stay with him but nobody exactly knows why -- even she told me in September she was thinking about leaving him, but she never does. She just ends up staying in the relationship regardless. I hadn't considered the whole thing you mentioned about her giving me her emotional problems, haha, well that is one way to look at it. Interesting.

I have had this girl over several times, EB, and I've talked to her on the phone a fair amount too, so it's not like I only talk to her online. That just happened to be where I first talked to her and started to get to know her. It has been a while since I have seen her, but she's in another state from where I am right now (Wednesday, I return to that state) and during x-mas break Joe would not let Ellie even see me because he was so jealous. Even she thinks that is absurd.

I've talked to many other girls and guys about that type of thing and everyone agrees it is ridiculous because there is no harm in a girl having guy friends even while she has a boyfriend. Guys are people too ;) lol.

But you are right, obviously ultimately Joe is the one getting lucky and I am the one just wishing she wasn't with him, but that's the way the cookie crumbles (wanted to get my first cliche in there).

I never did say that talking to people online was a proactive approach, I just used the opportunity to get to know some people who I did not previously know as well, including a bunch of cool guys actually who were only semi-friends and have, in a few cases, become better ones. It just broadened the number of people with whom I speak.

As for what you said otherwise, I would never settle for a girl who was not in my opinion at least good looking. If I were to do that, I really may as well just be gay and settle for a guy. I mean seriously, a relationship has to have some attraction there otherwise if you just look at personality and intelligence, that is the exact same thing I look for in my GUY friends. That idea is just nasty, lol. She has to be good looking, plain and simple, any guy would agree with that. I didn't say she had to be stunningly beautiful and I didn't say looks were the most important thing.

It's simple:
Intelligence: 33.33%
Looks: 33.33%
Personality: 33.33%

A pie. You have three pieces to the pie, probably many individual sub-categories of each piece, but the point remains. Those are the three things that I look for and I imagine most guys look for as well (as personality encompasses how fun she is, how nice, blah blah etc.).

Liz and Ellie are incredibly good looking, but there were better looking girls in my class. Four or five above Liz, then maybe ten to twelve above Ellie. Still, I happen to think Liz is the most beautiful of them all just because of how great a person she is.

When you say, "Also, you seem to be screening girls through a rather narrow prism." Well, what should I say here. I am not sure what you mean exactly so that is hard to address. If you mean that I am selective, obviously so, I would rather be single forever than settle for anyone. Nobody should ever settle. Period. If you mean that I don't look at the right things, then I completely disagree with you. But any girl who is not attractive in my opinion is weeded out, yes, and then among those girls who are at least "attractive," I have to be able to tell who among them is intelligent enough and fun enough to be someone I'd like to get to know better.

It's not rocket science here.

Whatever though. I do have other things to concentrate on and that's not exactly a top priority right now. Maybe if I'm lucky some hot chick will marry me for my money ;)

[ReturnOfTheCB]

Originally posted by JonathanLB
I've talked to many other girls and guys about that type of thing and everyone agrees it is ridiculous because there is no harm in a girl having guy friends even while she has a boyfriend. Guys are people too ;) lol.


Some guys are just complete dumbasses and don't like the idea of a female having any male friends other than them...my best friend (ex-girlfriend, but that's a long story), her boyfriend doesn't like the idea of us being friends at all, but she basically told him to deal with it (he thinks I've hurt her, etc...which it's a long story like I said, and he's seeing it from the outside, and from a tinted perspective...both she and I know what really happened, he just wants an excuse not to like me).....dude told her once he was going to come kick my ass...now, if you saw the guy, you'd think it was hilarious....I mean, I'm not much, I've got a fairly slim build, but mainly muscle, and I could've broken half the bones in his body before he knew what happened...fortunately for him, she talked him down from it (she didn't want us fighting).....I told her next time he says that, she'd better talk him down again for his own good.....he shoots me go to hell looks every time I see him, and I'm just dying for him to try to start something...I've been looking for a good fight :D (I hate people who threaten me behind my back and don't try to follow through...complete pussies if you ask me)

[BUFFJEDI]

Originally posted by JonathanLB
I do have other things to concentrate on and that's not exactly a top priority right now. Maybe if I'm lucky some hot chick will marry me for my money ;)



it happens all the time.But it ain't love:lol :lol

[BUFFJEDI]

the problem with most boy/girl relationship when a BF is in the picture is that MOSt/not all BF get jealous of the time there GF spends with the male friend.I think alot of it is they are insecure with themselves and or the relationship they are in.We men need to grow up.well act more mature at times:D . But than agian women WILL use old boy friends and male friends to make there BF jealous . Girls stupid games:( .

[BUFFJEDI]

I also look a little better in person than I do online :D [/QUOTE]

Thats odd , the rest of us look better Online :lol

yeah no date on the weekend does NOT = loser. keep that line of thinking and you do fine.

[JonathanLB]

I've never had a date on a weekend, so I don't really care, never had a date at all really, lol.

I don't consider anyone a loser because of dumb stuff like that. I only consider someone a loser when they have failed to keep trying. Even if they fail over and over, they are not a loser in my mind if they continue to try because one day, they will succeed. Nobody has truly failed until they have stopped trying.

[Doc Milo]

I think I can understand a lot of where Jon is coming from -- being a shy person, especially around women, myself. I always found it easier to express myself through writing than anywhere else. I didn't date in HS. Nor did I in college. And it never bothered me much. I always figured that when the right person came along, I would know it. And you know what? That's exactly what happened.

But that means when the right person comes around, you also can't have the blinders on and judge everything through that narrow prism. You can't make arbitrary rules for yourself. Because you may think you know, in your head, who the "right person" is. But your head and your heart seldom agree.

If I had those blinders on, I wouldn't have found my fiance. She has two kids. In my head, I never wanted to get involved with someone with kids. (On a side note, after her divorce, she had vowed never to date anyone without kids) But when we met, it was an instant attraction to each other. We met at work. We became friends first. And our relationship, over time, just grew. But, looking back, I always knew she was the one for me from the moment I met her. It took us three years as friends to figure that out, though.

I don't regret the social choices I made. I did not have much experience in dating at all. But my choices are not the choices for everyone. Not everyone can follow the same formula.

I didn't date in HS and College, but that didn't make me miserable. My self worth was never defined by whether or not I was with someone. I was not unhappy. I was not proactive, but neither was I in a shell. I made friends. And if something was going to grow out of that, I would not have stopped it. Nothing did at the time, and that was fine too.

You see, I was content being alone. If I had to be alone for all of my life, I was content with that too. As it turns out, that was not in the plans (I would say God's plan, for that's how I feel, but for Jon, I will say "Fate's plan") for me. I met someone who I adore, and whose kids I adore. And now we are going to be married.

But if you are not content being alone. If you want to be out there dating. Then my approach is not for you. Concentrate on what makes you happy, and do, within the realm of morality, of course, what it takes to have that happiness come to you. Whether it be an approach like Jedieb's or an approach like mine, or somewhere in between, do what makes you feel comfortable and happy.

[JonathanLB]

Thanks, Doc, I appreciate your post! That was nice to read.

Just a sec before I get to that...

CB, I didn't see your post for some reason until I just read back over this. Whoops. That guy sounds like he better keep his mouth shut if he knows what's good for him, lol. I'll tell you what, though, I sure wouldn't want to get into a fight with probably anyone because I'm pretty positive I'd lose ;)

LOL, I need to work out more, which I'm going to do when I get back home (starting Wednesday). It's just not been a good place for that sorta thing down here, it wouldn't have worked out because I didn't even eat healthy enough to sustain any type of energy. It'll be nice being home...

Actually, Ellie's boyfriend isn't that strong himself. He's not weak by any means, but he's not a big guy.

"And you know what? That's exactly what happened."

That's nice to hear, hehe, maybe it does work out sometimes then. :)

I definitely like expressing myself through writing more than I talk talking, at least to girls anyway. Of course I'd rather be hanging out with my friends in real life than talking to them on AIM, duh, but I'm not as comfortable around girls as other guys are apparently. Even though Liz is just a friend, I just don't feel that. I mean, of course when I am with my guy friends I'm totally at ease and my guard is down, but when I'm with Liz I just kind of always feel a bit of tension, not to say that's a bad thing, but I suppose since I think of her as more than a friend, it's not the same.

I don't like mentioning certain things online in a forum especially, but as far as your comments about not being miserable when you were alone and whatnot Doc, that varies for me. The more success I have with my own pursuits, the less I worry about anything aside from that. If everything is going well and I'm excited about my business or my writing (or both), then nothing else really enters my mind and I am almost totally focused on what I'm doing. However, since that has not been the case for many, many months (excelt days few and far between), I get thinking more and more about how nice it would be to have someone around who actually cared. Then again, I've not had any of my friends around either and I don't get to talk to them that much whatsoever (twice a week maybe for my best friend, once from another friend, but daily with just one of my friends). Plus, it always kind of irks me when I'm the odd man out.

I may be a shy guy, but darnit so is my best friend and then my other friend Sean is not that outgoing at all!! He has only become more friendly and open perhaps in the last two years because he is more of the intellectual type so before, he wasn't quite as talkative (SAT score: 1590 out of 1600, one of the top few hundred in the nation that year). Anyway, so my best friend goes to OSU and him and I have always joked that it must be the most impossible thing ever to get a girlfriend, haha, and within one month, he's sleeping in the same bed as his neighbor, who is obviously a girl. Pretty soon her roommate moves out and although she wanted to say for a while they were "just friends," because technically they had not DONE anything (I know that is weird), even kissed, but now I guess they are officially going out. Then Sean, Mr. Shy, got a girlfriend within three months. These are guys who never have dated before at all and in their first terms at college already got girlfriends. I mean, damn, what is up with that?!

So far, Doc, fate is really being unkind lately! Haha. My least favorite saying is, "Your time will come" or any derivation of that. It's too cliched for me, annoying...

Obviously, I am happy for my friends and not by any means jealous, but nothing like that ever works out for me. This girl at LMU I met during orientation, Jamie, seemed really awesome and I talked to her quite a bit, then finally at the end of orientation our two leaders gave out their AOL IM names. LOL, ok this is going to sound lame (truly proof we have entered the Internet age), but I asked Jamie for her IM name (yeah, yeah, ten years ago you ask for a phone number, today it's IM). Anyway, it would have been out of place asking for a phone number just randomly whereas it was a little easier getting her AIM name. So talked to her over the summer a bit and we talked about hanging out when college started, but did that work out? Haha, oh no. Never hung out with her once. She lives at home 10 minutes away from campus too, though, that never helped. Point being, things like that do not work out for me. Or haven't yet.

I am too shy to be that outgoing with girls. As for what you said though Doc, I definitely do not think I would be happy at all if I was 30 years old and single. That is like a nightmare. Dang, that would suck. :x

[ReturnOfTheCB]

Haha..."I lost my AIM s/n, can I have yours?" :D Sorry, I couldn't resist...

[Jedi Master Carr]

Nice Post Do, I agree its best to do what ever makes you happy in the long run and hopefully you will find that special someone.

[ReturnOfTheCB]

I've noticed that my viewpoint on dating differs from that of others my age...I never really saw it as doing it to have someone...to me dating should be something to help in the process of figuring out what exactly you're looking for in a person to spend the rest of your life with...now, I'm not talking about making a list, or narrowing it down, but kinda figuring out more of what you don't want in a mate...for example, one of my ex-gf's was a great friend, but she just can't treat a guy with as much respect as she's given, so it didn't work out, thus I saw that I want someone that can really respect me, and my feelings (I bought her a keychain as a joke that says "Men have feelings, but who really cares..." that's really how she looked at it though)...I also learned that I want someone who's just as likely to show me she cares (whatever method) as I am to do the same....so I see it as to some extent figuring out the kind of people that you absolutely are not compatible with, so you know what to look for (to some extent, of course there are exceptions)...and I was talking about this with a friend, we both feel that you don't have to be out dating if you already have a pretty good idea of what you're looking for (or "not looking for", you know what I'm tryhing to say)...I really think I'm going to smack the next person that acts like me not being out and dating all the time is a bad thing :D

I think what it all comes down to is do what you want to do, whatever works for you..take the nice hippie standpoint on it :smokin

[Jedieb]

I don't want to give the impression that I was as slick as buff. I don't think I would have had that kind of stamina even in my younger days. ;) All I'm saying is that without a bit of a proactive approach I wouldn't have gotten the ball rolling with my wife. I might still be alone. At the time I met my wife I was involved with a couple of other girls. I wouldn't say I was joe stud, but I was having a pretty good semester. After a month my wife basically said, "It's just me or I'm gone." I really respected her for not willing to put up with being treated like crap so it's been just us ever since.

You have to be open to any opportunity. My wife and I were making out 30 minutes after we met. A fraternity Halloween party is not the place to start a lasting friendship with a girl, especially if she's dressed in a jungle outfit... but again I digress. If I'd just shaken hands and exhanged phone numbers we may never have got the ball rolling or somebody else might have gotten to her first. (She'd actually been invited to the party because another guy wanted to meet her. LOSER!!!!!)

I'm a shy person. I wouldn't want to have to go through the horror of dating again. All I know is that at some point I got better at it. I was more self confident and therefore I was better BF material. I don't know if my wife would have been that interested in me if she'd met me in HS or as a Freshman. You can't force yourself to do something that's not true to your nature. But you can stretch yourself and experiance new things. Hesitate all the time and you'll always be the guy John McClain shoots through the table. Take a chance, and YOU'LL be the guying throwing someone out the window of an office building at Nakatomi plaza. Die Hard, is there anthing that movie can't teach us? ;)

[JonathanLB]

Haha, nice EB.

Hey speaking of which, I got all three Die Hard films on DVD in that nice big boxed set. They're classic action films, IMO, and I really liked them all. The third is great, second is really gory, but I love the twist, and the first, well, it's the first. Of course it's good.

As for this whole subject, revisited, I cannot even make a good friend who is a girl it seems like. Long story short, I don't really know that Liz even cares, or it doesn't seem like it to me.

Screw it. I hate girls. They're evil. I was better off before I started trying to have friends who were girls. I should have known better. I was smarter freshman year when I was totally focused on my own goals and whatnot.

But whatever, I'm kind of intoxicated now so don't listen to me ;)